Finding Your Autistic Superpower: A practical handbook for women and girls on the autism spectrum

by Christine Lion

Many people think only men can be autistic. And if women are autistic, they’re certainly nothing like you and me. They must be social freaks and misfits, unable to feel, show emotions or care about others. But women on the spectrum are something completely different. They can be accomplished, highly intelligent and sensitive. When life goes against them, they pull themselves together and continue, and they fight their way through more obstacles than most. But it doesn’t mean anything comes easy to us. Autism is a complex genetical difference that affects how our brains are wired and how we experience the world. Has anyone told you that many autistic women have a completely different sensory experience than neurotypicals? And many of us have the ability to physically feel music or hear colours. In general, we have extreme, but uneven abilities. Did you know that some even have a perfect pitch? And that autistic people are better at analysing and remembering melodies? We also have better rote memory and extremely good attention to detail. As kids, we also have a stronger drive to solve analytical problems, which can explain why so many of us excel in research and academic subjects. We’re also social chameleons who spend much of our time and focus on trying to decipher social rules and constructs to be able to fit in. This can be exhausting, resulting in autistic burnout for some of us. We’re masking our true selves to fit in with the neurotypical world. It means that we often fly under the radar and go undiagnosed for too long. This behaviour even has a name. It’s called masking and is common amongst both autistic women and men, but far more frequent amongst women. Our abilities and differences are widely unknown. Even to ourselves and our relatives. And the medical community hasn’t come far at researching the autistic experience from a woman’s point of view. This is one of the reasons I chose to write the book “Finding Your Autistic Superpower” after I received my official autism diagnosis at age 30. It was the book I wanted to read myself to get to know my strengths and weaknesses. Backed up by both research and a multitude of personal examples. In Christine Lion’s book, you will be able to read about the -What autism is and how it’s different for women -How we interact with others in a different way and don’t always pick up on neurotypical cues -Why we have such strong attention to detail and why we refuse to change our environments -How sensory sensitivity can sometimes be a huge constraint but also a superpower -Why we stim and why you think you don’t do it yourself -What we can do to improve executive functioning -How our special interests make us able to hyperfocus -Why meltdowns are a thing also for adults -Why "lack of empathy" isn’t such a big deal -What you can do to get through school and work and how you can use your strengths in both -How our relationships and sexuality can be different -Why women on the spectrum are much more likely to suffer from sexual abuse -How to go through the process of getting diagnosed You will find all of this along with real and personal examples from a woman who has grown up on the spectrum and been through both the good and the bad. At the end of each chapter, you will also find work examples to get to know yourself better. But the most important thing you will get is a view on autism and Asperger's that doesn't try to hide anything. Autism might not give you the ability to fly or move through walls.

Genres: Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Psychology, Nonfiction

277 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 10, 2020

Reviews

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

I like that the author shared so many of her painful personal experiences. I would have liked to hear about other autistic women she's met.

[Kendra Jackson · Rating 5 out of 5]

My first post-diagnosis book and I saw so much of myself reflected back. Being ‘unique’ is a blessing and a curse - it’s a relief to know it’s not just me after all.

I’m so grateful to the author for tackling this subject and articulating how so many people feel but can’t get heard in their own lives, never mind as a published author.

This is a must read for both neurodiverse and neurotypical people who want to know and understand more about women and girls on the autistic spectrum.

[Jina · Rating 4 out of 5]

This one is well organized and cites studies as well as discussing the rigor of those studies. (I like that she points out when studies include few or no girls and women.)

I also like that she talks about how it can be helpful to understand how neurotypical people communicate (for example, she did a linguistic analysis on her coworkers), but she's very clear that masking has a price: it's frakking exhausting and leads to autistic burnout. (She also wrote a blog post about it, Why autistic women mask and why they shouldn’t have to.) But she makes an even stronger argument against masking in the chapter about sexual assault:

...when other people hear us describing dangerous situations, they'll wonder why we didn't pick up on the signals sooner. Why didn't we understand that he was hitting on us? Why didn't we walk away before anything happened? Maybe we were uncomfortable, but because we've been taught by society that in order to not be rude we need to follow other people's lead, we stay.

I also like that she says it's not up to autistic individuals to fix societal problems, and that sexual assault is a societal problem. So are the schools in Norway, which sound very bad for gifted and special needs kids. ("...the teachers I met tried their best to keep everyone at the same level. In fact, dividing students into groups based on their performance was illegal in Norway when I grew up, and it probably still is.")

One bummer was that I was hoping she would be more specific in talking about careers. (The title does talk about finding your superpower, after all.) She says, "In so many jobs like law, finance, programming and design, attention to detail is the one thing you need to stand out from the crowd. That’s also the case for painting, sewing, writing and drawing." But that's about as much as she says about it, other than noting that autistic people have special (obsessive) interests, and that one of those can lead to a career.

She did talk about workplaces in general and what makes them difficult, though: rigid hierarchy, office politics, fixed schedules, and the overstimulation of open office plans. Her career in finance sounds terrible for all of that. She was a math prodigy so she went into finance, but it's just as toxic in Norway as in the U.S. ("I was called a bitch by my first boss, but he meant it as a compliment and said it was the only way for women to survive in finance.")

[Ida Hansen]

Hits all the right spots

I’ve read many books on autism for women, but this one was something special for me. The personal experiences are so recognisable that it makes me feel understood, and there’s a critical take on research on autism that I really like. If you’re a woman getting diagnosed late in life, you should definitely read this

[M W · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75⭐️ I definitely would classify this more as a memoir/personal experience book opposed to an informational read based on statistics. While studies have yet to be conducted on a lot of things that the author discussed, which of course I understand, the book as a whole lacked a lot of actual research for some things that were discussed. In the beginning of the book, the author even talks about how she plans on using research frequently throughout the book, but then she proceeds to do the opposite. A lot of her claims are certainly legitimate—with her diagnosis, a lot of what she experiences is true of many autistic people. My problem was that sometimes she would talk about her symptoms and then use it to describe autistic individuals throughout the entire book. Autism is a spectrum and not a condition with a strict set of very specific symptoms, so just because the author is overly brutally honest, unempathetic, and struggles in many different ways with socializing doesn’t mean all autistic people do. For her to say things along the lines of “since autistic women struggle with xyz, then …” is a generalization.

That being said, I applaud what the author did with this. She took a difficult, controversial topic and produced a solid piece of work. It was overall a really good read, I just had a problem with some of her claims, especially since they lacked research backing them up. Also, I am impressed with the writing in this book, especially since English is not the author’s first language, but she still should have used a native speaker or some other type of editor to review her sentence structure and grammar.

[NatalieAH · Rating 5 out of 5]

Informative and accessible.

Christine Lion skilfully combines interesting research with moving personal accounts to create a book that I would highly recommend to autistic women hoping to better understand themselves, as well as individuals hoping to understand the autistic women in their lives on a deeper level.

Whilst reading "Finding Your Autistic Superpower", I was reminded of a group of autistic young adults I supported a couple of years ago- one man and two women. There was a stark difference between the compassion and understanding that some other professionals afforded the man compared to the women. They were often irritated by the women, sometimes going as far as to accuse them of "putting it on". I really hope that this book finds its way to those young women and the professionals who so readily dismissed them.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall, very useful

The best part of this book were the self-work sections, and I wish there was more of this. I appreciate that she had so many sources and that she addressed so many issues that women on the spectrum face. Also, when she was unsure or had no evidence , she said so, expressed her opinions, and stated them as opinions.

My only issue was that she lumped a lot of us together from her own experience, which is to be expected, but I couldn’t identify with some of her conclusions, especially at the beginning. Much of the latter part of the book, I learned from experience, but it would be wonderful for younger people recently diagnosed or older people recently diagnosed who struggle a great deal in maintaining jobs and relationships.

[Marcela · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent resource!

This is a great resource for women on the autistic spectrum who are newly diagnosed or think they might have it as well as providers who are generally not trained in what autism looks like in adult women. Lion illustrates autistic characteristics with examples from her own life and ends every chapter with exercises to reflect on how the chapter is relevant for the reader.

[Lisa Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

Straight talk

I loved C. L.'a candor about her experiences. She encourages the difficult and rewarding journey of finding out who we really are, and what we really enjoy. She teaches us how to protect, nourish, and expand our magnificent selves in a world which often doesn't get us.

[Amanda Whitley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Empowering

For the first time, I have found peace. Christine's experience echoes my own. We're not alone. Exploring the questions she poses at the end of each chapter helped me glean the most from her book. 5 🌟

[Christine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Helpful and comforting

This book is well written and comforting. I especially enjoyed the way the author incorporated research studies on the subject.

[Cortney Davison · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was good

As a late diagnosed Autistic, this helps a lot! It is very well written and easy to understand.
Thank you!

[Sharon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Resource

An excellent introduction to traits of autism in women. This book is a resource for women who have gone undiagnosed and who have felt like their differences went unnoticed. For a stereotypical, this book is a great way to expand your empathy "library."

[Helen W · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good run-through of female autism if you are in the early stages of familiarising yourself with the traits (specifically in girls and women) and highlighting some of the positives. Brings up the important and often overlooked factor of how common it is for girls on the spectrum to be sexually and otherwise abused in relationships, a subject I was grateful to have brought to light at last, with some personal adecdotes that would benefit from a trigger warning for those who are sensitive to this kind of subject-matter.