Spellbound: A Graphic Memoir

by Bishakh Kumar Som

This exquisite graphic novel memoir by a transgender artist, explores the concept of identity by inviting the reader to view the author moving through life as she would have us see her, that is, as she sees herself. Framed with a candid autobiographical narrative, this book gives us the opportunity to enter into the author's daily life and explore her thoughts on themes of gender and sexuality, memory and urbanism, love and loss.

Genres: Graphic Novels, Memoir, LGBT, Comics, Queer, Nonfiction, Adult

151 pages, Paperback

First published August 25, 2020

About the author

Bishakh Som is the illustrator and coauthor of The Prefab Bathroom: An Architectural History, and her work has appeared in The New Yorker, Buzzfeed, and the Brooklyn Rail, among others. She has also been published in We're Still Here: An All-Trans Comics Anthology, Beyond II: The Queer Post-Apocalyptic & Urban Fantasy Comic Anthology, The Graphic Canon Volume 3, and many more. Som is currently based in Brooklyn, NY.

Reviews

[Rod Brown · Rating 2 out of 5]

In an intellectually interesting exercise, a transgender woman makes a roman à clef graphic diary wherein she portrays herself as a cis-gender woman. Unfortunately, she then spends most of the book writing about a time when she isolated herself to work on her first graphic novel and way, way, way too many panels are spent describing what food she is eating for lunch and which wine she is drinking with it. And then joking about how much wine she is drinking, and then drinking more wine, and more wine, and more wine. So, I'm worried about her unresolved drinking problem, but found myself too bored to care about much else.

It didn't help that the lettering is atrociously stylized and rather than being able to read sentences, I found myself reading each individual word, pausing frequently to second-guess my first interpretation. Tedious.

[Liz Yerby · Rating 5 out of 5]

More trans comics please

[Maia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bishakh Som discovers the power and potential in creating an alter-ego who both is, and is not, the self in this gorgeously drawn almost-memoir. Using the character of Anjali, Som writes about an international childhood spent in Ethiopia, India, and New York City. She writes of the death of her parents and the gutsy decision to quit a dull, safe job to pursue an uncertain creative dream. We, the readers, are the benefactors of this leap into the unknown. Along the way she also begins to further explore her own queerness and gender identity. How fortunate that Anjuli, and Som, chose comics! (Thank you to the publisher, Street Noise Books, for letting me read an advanced reader copy of this book.)

[Jenny (Reading Envy) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Review to come - I also read Apsara Engine by this author earlier this year, and that was all the stars, loved it so much - this is a little more staid, about the artist's life as she sees it.

[Saturniidead ★ · Rating 2 out of 5]

Content warnings are listed at the end of my review!

Bluntly, this just felt incredibly mediocre and lackluster. This ended up being shockingly repetitive, and like too many graphic memoirs, lacked a cohesive enough overarching story to leave the reader with any satisfying or conclusive takeaways. At least the repetitive nature prevented it from feeling too choppy like other graphic memoirs, but at the sacrifice of being mind numbingly redundant. You can predict that this exact loop will happen every few pages:

- I hate working in architecture
- I feel insecure wanting to leave my architecture to do art
- Here's a detailed rundown of what I'm having for dinner
- Here's what I'm drinking and how much it costs
- Say hi to my cat
- Working on comics is hard

Rinse, repeat, throw in some backstory, family struggles, relationship struggles- and now you have Spellbound. I'm not kidding, we make this loop over and over, and that's the book. I kept thinking it'd break but it doesn't aside from the few aforementioned deviations that there needed to solely be, get rid of the loop! This on top of... the font... my brain felt numb from reading. There were some snippets of something beautiful, especially when she became more philosophical, the writing and art was poetic. I'd really like more of that!

Anyways, Anjali herself as a character isn't even that compelling, and it's impossible for us to know what is Anjali's story vs Bishakh Kumar Som's reality. Anjali drinks very heavily, even getting her into some awkward and upsetting situations, but the severity of what is happening really only ever gets a wink of acknowledgement. She wallows in self pity over her financial situation when wanting to work freelance in art, and gets upset when people call her out on inheriting a trust fund from impactful family deaths- inherently, there's nothing wrong with these. Where it gets annoying is the lack of self awareness, knowing within the story she attended Harvard, was sought after and offered jobs, and had that and money to fall back on. So her attitude comes off as bizarre and out of touch to people without an ivy league college background with an impressive architectural resume, workplace connections, and a trust fund. Additionally, for some unknown reason, she repeatedly has to make goofy complaints about people being on their phones.

Summary:
Readability: ★☆☆☆☆, 1.5 The font was a big misstep, it's not the worst font I've seen, but it is far away from good. It slows down reading significantly, and the print is small which only exuberates the issue. It detracts from the experience. Be aware of the content warnings, the nudity caught me off guard, the depictions of death by alzheimer's are graphic, and the unacknowledged alcoholism can be upsetting.

Entertainment: ★★☆☆☆, It's ok? I just found myself bored, not invested in the main character, and unsure of what the point was. There were small windows of something great, her relationship with her parents and her feelings towards her disconnect with her culture were really interesting but I wanted more.

Audience: There's really not much of a trans narrative here, it's incredibly watered down. Her snapshots of cultural perspective were really cool, but I wanted a lot more. There's just not a lot offered here to be captivated by. Read if you are interested, but I don't really recommend.

Content Warnings: AIDS stigma, alcohol, alcoholism, alzheimer’s, anxiety, asthma, bankruptcy, blood, bullying, cancer, constipation, crying, dead animal, death, dissection, donald trump mention, extreme medication costs, ghosts, graphic nudity, health insurance loss, homophobia, homophobic slurs, incontinence, insects in food, isolation, memory loss, murder, old age, parent death, racism, rejection, sex, slow death, smoking, toxic workplace, transphobia, unaccepting parents, underage smoking and drinking, unwanted sexual advances, vomiting, vulgarity

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would have liked to give this book four stars. The author is obviously a mature talent; everything is done deliberately to have the effect it has. The drawing is excellent, and plot and personalities come across well. However, it does drag a little, and as one reviewer says, it gets a little tedious to watch her draw her graphic novel, be semi-depressed, and constantly drink wine.

It also confused me for a while that the author portrays herself as a cis woman. Eventually, I got it (and would have sooner if I'd read the jacket blurb): it's her life, but as she's seen herself, and absent any hassle caused by being trans. I kind of like that.

The parts with her parents were excellent, and the takedown of pretentious hipsters at a party was hilarious. The parts about interacting with people from the architectural jobs she takes are interesting. The author writes as her current self at the beginning and end, which pulls the book together nicely.

[Alicia · Rating 2 out of 5]

Points for a very macro concept of taking us through her life as she would see herself, not how everyone else perceived her growing up as trans.

But I simply cannot get behind the poor font choice that makes it super difficult to read and therefore dive into the words she uses. The graphics are homegrown as an artist which I can appreciate, but others can't because the text is also hard to read. I don't know why I downloaded it because I don't necessarily see this as marketed toward YA, it's an adult memoir that can be read by teens with an interest.

[Tara · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars rounded up

This was a lovely graphic memoir, always a concept I enjoy. The author tells the story through a stand-in woman/character for herself before she realized she was trans. I struggled with the very stylized font, but it's otherwise a lovely read.

TW: Death of parent, Alcoholism, Mental Illness, Addiction, Death, Bullying

[Simant Verma · Rating 3 out of 5]

This graphic memoir by a desi author was a great exploration of identity. Som tells her story of finding herself through a journey of grief and loss. She has created a girl Anjali, to represent her story and the various phases she went through in her life. We get to see her story after she quits her job to work on her graphic novel.

Reading about her parents, all the cultural representation, Bengali food..my heart was full.
There wasn't any such adventure in the story itself. Unlike most of the graphic novels, this wasn't fast-paced and the stories felt a bit disjointed sometimes. Also did I tell you we have an adorable cat in the story?

The biggest complaint I had with this book, however, was the poor font-choice! I don't know why they chose it. It was pretty hard even for my perfectly healthy eyes to read it! I had to pay so much focus and that certainly took away a lot of enjoyment. I wish there was more of the part where she found her identity and transitioned. It felt very sudden. Also, I don't know why it is marketed as YA when it is clearly and Adult memoir?!

Overall, not the best collection, but nonetheless an enjoyable one.

Thanks to Edelweiss and the publisher for this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Blog | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest | Facebook | Ko-fi |Amazon

[Elizabeth A · Rating 3 out of 5]

[2.5]

I'm still not sure how I feel about autofiction. In this graphic novel, the author creates an alter-ego to relate their story. There are parts I liked, but there was too much time spent on working on this comic to really pull me in - rather meta. I really liked the art, and some interesting topics were explored, but this transgender Desi spent a tad too much time on food and wine consumed. I know exactly how I felt about Ampersand, the cat, though, and for kitty alone I'll round up.

[Leena-Maaretta Dixon · Rating 4 out of 5]

While at times Anjali (the alter ego) seemed a bit judgemental and not wanting to admit inheriting money is indeed a privilege, this book is also relatable and has a new spin on graphic memoirs. Also it's nice to have a Trans comic that's written by a trans author, and this comic does have a new way to talk about transgender issues. Plus cute cat hijinks as a side story lol.

[Deepti · Rating 3 out of 5]

[6.5/10] I found the graphic novel cute and I loved the art style. I liked how meta the story felt reading the authors struggle to get published knowing we’re reading the book. I loved the little bits of recipes and culture shared through this book. It was cute and cozy and we need more QPOC graphic novels!!

[Anna]

Dnf at page 40. This is one of the least accessible graphic novels I've tried to read in a long time. The font is incredibly hard to decipher and my eyes hurt so bad from squinting to try and make out the words. On top of that, the first 40 pages were so boring and uneventful that I decided to just let this one go. I'm sad because I always want more trans stories but this one just didn't work for me.

I'm begging authors and publishers who illustrate graphic novels to NOT use a handwriting font. Sure it looks cute sometimes but for the majority of the time, it's borderline unreadable and it's 100% unaccessible.

[Sam · Rating 4 out of 5]

While the general plot wasn't groundbreaking for me, the format of the memoir was amazingly unique! Unlike any Memoir I've read, graphic or not!
Memoir usually deals with the truth of the subject, but Som challenges the assumption of personal "fact" through the substitution of a cis woman character in her early 30s to take her place while, in reality, she was still closeted and feeling "adrift" in her identity at 30-something. Negating gender troubles from the narrative, Som is at once exploring what her life could have been like while centering the "truth" of the other parts of her life that intersected with her gender journey: career, family, relationships, sexuality, and addiction. Begging the conclusion that personal history is stories we tell ourselves, and what we choose to center in those stories is both the whole "truth" and yet only a limited glimpse of the vastness our own lives.

[Sam · Rating 2 out of 5]

A memoir about the author writing a different graphic novel. We go through her daily life and get some of her history growing up. But it was boring. While I do enjoy the Indian culture and their food, panel after panel about what the author was eating on the daily or all the alcohol they consumed was just not it. It touched very lightly on them being trans- yes I know, the author wrote it as she would want us to see her and how she feels about herself- as a cis gendered woman, but the synopsis made it out to be that there was more on sexuality and gender identity within the story. Everything fell flat and it was tedious to get through. I liked the art the most but as other reviewers had mentioned- the font chosen for the dialogue can be tricky at times to read if you don’t have decent comprehension skills.

[Ishika · Rating 4 out of 5]

Many thoughts on this one. I have to say I think the concept of autofictional writing worked well here. I loved the little tidbits of culture through food and religion. Her parents were my favorite part of this book (especially the ghost part near the ending). But this book felt so aimless at times and a little bit too meta when it was pages and pages of anjali working on every step of the comic. We should know by now that I can’t give this less than 4 stars because trans desi representation (especially stories of people chasing their dreams in underrepresented fields) is so necessary!! I enjoyed the ending as well.

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars.

Spellbound is a quietly enjoyable look into the author's life through the eyes of her alter ego. It has humour, delicious food (with a recipe at the end), and shows her life before comics as well as her journey as a comics creator. I wish it had been a bit longer to cover more areas better, and some areas were a little text heavy, but overall I'm glad I read it. I look forward to reading more of her work!

[Declan · Rating 3 out of 5]

read for Queer & Trans Writing. I haven't read a lot of graphic novels but this was fantastic. A story within a story, exploring complexities of gender that I am still just barely able to understand. I highly recommend it to anyone wanting to have something to really think about for months to come.

[Kaitlin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Spellbound is a rich and captivating memoir of vignettes, through which the creator Bishakh re-imagines her life through the character of Anjali. The arc of the book's narrative moves through the author's transition from architectural work to making graphic novels, the challenges of caring for her aging parents, and her pursuit of mutual understanding, intimacy, and connection with others. Threading through all of these interconnected moments is Anjali's narration (except for a brief interlude) and close relationship with her cat Ampersand, who observes the daily struggles of her life that I'm sure will resonate with many: the inanities of our fellow humans, the isolation of trying to create something that requires solitude, the oscillation between our loftier ambitions and our more base needs for nourishment, sleep, and intimacy.

Perhaps I am a biased reviewer of Spellbound because I too left a stable full-time day job to work part-time and make comics. But some aspects of this novel I find objectively brilliant include Som's keen observations, lucid and specific writing (none of this feels generic or vague), and sharp and evocative drawing skills. A note on the art: given Som's architectural background, the drawings all radiate with a precision that is neither clinical nor dry. The art really situates us in the rooms, and countries, that Anjali finds herself in. And it's a delight to behold.

Finally, some may be wondering why Som decided to tell her story through a character. I believe it was this artistic choice that allowed her to feel freer in some ways, to stop worrying about accuracy (because when it comes to personal memories and not historical events, memory is actually quite loose and dynamic). Seeing herself as a character, I think, strengthened Som's ambition to take this memoir to uncomfortable but rewarding places: witnessing, for example, her mother's ailing health, as well as having tension and conflict with others around her.

Five stars, for sure.

[Carissa · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wasn’t impressed by Spellbound. Though I appreciated Anjali’s commentary on her relationship with her parents and complicated nostalgia/disdain for her past and background, her general attitude was so pretentious I couldn’t make myself care about her narrative. I’m not sure where Bishakh’s self-insert ends and Anjali as fiction begins, but Anjali reads as incredibly out of touch. I hesitate to describe her as a spoiled rich girl, but her interactions with “the middle class throng” are so haltingly uncomfortable that I couldn’t relate to the character at all.

I could have done without most of the ‘present’ scenes, to be quite honest. I got really sick of reading about her eating another meal of lentils with her cat. I get it, she’s playing impoverished artist. Blah.

The art is gorgeous; it’s an incredibly beautiful book that could have had a great message about becoming yourself, pushing beyond social, economic, and cultural expectations to discover personal contentedness... but Som fell just a little short.

(And the font is god-awful! What’s with the spiky, pseudo-handwritten scrawl? It’s far too difficult to read.)

edit: This isn't a trans comic or a trans memoir. It's a comic/memoir BY a trans person, but being transgender is quite literally removed from the story altogether. She made her self-insert cis; having a trans side character doesn't make it a trans memoir. It's simply not. I don't have any personal problems with the decision to make herself cis, it's fine, but calling this a trans memoir is just incorrect. How can transgenderism factor into a story it doesn't exist within?

[Sneha Jaiswal · Rating 3 out of 5]

Spellbound starts of interesting, but descends into a bit of a whiny monotonous diatribe towards the end. The artwork is lovely, Som's substitution of the self with an ideal figure for the memoir is quite intriguing too. But, somehow... I just felt like this book lacked the honesty and heart that some of my favorite memoirs in the graphic novel genre have.

My full review - https://abstractaf.in/spellbound-grap...

[Jonah]

Interesting but a little mundane. The font... why

[jojojojo6]

I really like the illustrated food recipe at the end! I am definitely going to cook it. It also inspired me to start illustrating some of my recipes.

[Eli Bishop · Rating 3 out of 5]

If I really must rate this I'd say it's middle-of-the-road compared to Apsara Engine , but that's kind of unfair because 1. Apsara Engine is such an extremely bold breakout collection that covers so many different kinds of things (including some genre stuff that's especially catnippy for me) and 2. this is still a fascinating sort-of-memoir comic, solidly written and drawn, with some startling choices that I think make the meandering parts work a lot better than they otherwise would, and it doesn't really remind me of any other book in that category. The big moment when a love-interest character confronts the protagonist, and finally points out an issue that's been entirely left out of the story so far, is a powerful one—not just for being conceptually surprising (it's almost the exact opposite of how such realizations are often presented, in more than one way), but also because of how Som underplays it and lets the characters choose to carry on and table it for now, without any big changes in the storytelling approach. That's insightful in terms of how major epiphanies really can take a long time to visibly bear fruit even after the cards are on the table. There are also long stretches of mundane family/career/lifestyle observations which can feel more tentative and formless; to some extent I think that's necessary in order for the later parts to have the impact that they do, and there's plenty of well-observed detail—and I'm not sure I've ever seen this kind of experience of feeling like you're probably an artist, but never getting anything done, depicted so convincingly in terms of how the feeling is often "I'm boring and I have no real problems or interests and I should be focusing on practical things" rather than "I'm a deep tortured soul." I identify with that for sure and I can imagine it won't work as well for some other readers. And it's clear that (as the author says in the foreword) the book wasn't exactly planned out that way and took a while to find its feet, but I like where it lands and the messiness just makes me more excited to see what's next.

[Jan · Rating 3 out of 5]

In 2012, Bishakh left a job in an architectural firm to explore a career as a comics artist. After sending a first work off to publishers, Bishakh started making notes about daily thoughts and experiences. Eventually, these notations became Spellbound. Uncomfortable with a self-portrait, Bishakh created Anjali as a substitute figure.

Anjali is most often on her own in the company of her cat Ampersand. The illustrations are realistic in a muted palette of greens, burgundies, yellow, and brown. She experiences the self-doubt of a creator and breaks her day into work and preparing solitary Benghali dishes and consuming a selection of wines. She was able to subsist for a while on savings then freelanced at an architectural firm that helped bring her out of her solitude. She eventually meets Titania, a transgender woman and they begin a relationship and an exploration of identity.

This is a unique and accessible memoir for any reader exploring different lives as well as those exploring transgender issues. Recommended.

Readalikes:
Eleanor Crewes – The Times I knew I Was Gay; Sharon Lee De La Cruz – I’m a Wild Seed; Rebecca Burgess – How to Be Ace; Julia Kaye – Super Late Bloomer; Gabriel Ebensperger – Gay Giant; Maia Kobabe – Gender Queer; Erin Nations – Gumballs; Rhea Ewing – Fine; Diana Goetsch – This Body I Wore.

Pace: Moderately paced
Characters: LGBTQIA; Transgender
Storyline: Unconventional
Writing style: Candid; Witty
Illustration: Detailed
Tone: Upbeat
Frame: New York City primarily; Contemporary
Themes: Memoir

Red flags/Trigger warning:

[Sofia S. · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars!!!

Thank you to the publisher and edelweiss+ for providing me with a copy in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own!

This was a very sweet graphic memoir I would recommend to anyone wanting a chill read! This definitely isn't a memoir of exciting adventures – nothing much happens, actually – and yet I still found the story interesting and engaging. My favourite part was most definitely following Anjali through the whole process of the making of this graphic novel; as a close second, learning more about Indian culture was something I found very interesting and loved as well! Also, the cat is adorable and I love him to death.

The drawing style wasn't my favorite, and I found the writing a liiiiittle hard to read every once in a while, but this in no way made me love this any less.

In the end, this was a very enjoyable read and one I wouldn't hesitate to recommend!

[Renata · Rating 4 out of 5]

OK so yes the font choice is a little tough to read here but I persevered. It is an unusual choice for a memoir--it's entirely about having written another book, and waiting to hear back from agents etc. Som said it was daily journal comics she was writing during the process and it has almost a web-comic-y feel where some of them are like 4-panel self-contained comics but others go longer. It was also intriguing to me that Som chose to write a memoir of herself but as if she were a cis woman? Which on one hand I think sounds like an interesting empowering thing to do but then there are conversations in here where she talks to trans people and they ask her if she's trans and she says no. Which like that version of her isn't but then...well IDK it left my mental wheels spinning a bit.

But overall I thought it was a funny book with some more thought-provoking moments, and I LOVED Ampersand the cat. (On brand for me I know.) Honestly I think, 3 stars for the book + 5 stars for Ampersand the cat = 4 star rating.

[Tim O'neill · Rating 3 out of 5]

Eminently readable and fully slice-of-life. Others who’ve noted the constant mentioning of food and (especially) wine aren’t wrong, but it reminded me of certain diäries I’ve kept that’ve had a similar focus.

I was intrigued by the premise of seeïng the flap copy that said that this narrative was seeïng the life of a trans person as they saw themselves. Well, I hope it’s not too big of a spoiler to say that she just sees herself as a straight women, even if others in the story might have different viewpoints. That didn’t fully come together for me until the end, so if you’re reading this, as I did, partially for a window into one trans experiënce, give it the whole book to achieve that.

I certainly look forward to reading more by the author, which currently is just the graphic novel that she’s making during the book.

[Shawna (endemictoearth)]

DNF at around 30% - I was simultaneously confused and bored. The story within a story (which was really an alternate history of the author's life, I suppose) didn't really work for me. There was one really powerful moment before I bailed, I couldn't tell if it was real (in the context of the story) or a dream or what. I did skim ahead and I think a lot of the art is lovely. There was a four panel page that worked beautifully on its own, but overall this just didn't come together for me. I agree with someone who complained about the font, as well; it wasn't easy to read, even when the page was magnified.

I'm going to try another book by this author, Apsara Engine, which I hope will work better for me.

[Shoshanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really interesting storytelling style! A memoir in comic form with a stand in as the author. Beshakh Kumar Som is a woman of trans experience and she used a woman (who reads as cisgender in her rendering) as a stand in for herself before she transitioned, with a different name even. I actually found this helpful, because it lets you see the author closer to how she saw herself!

Short comics about work, family, love, friendship, cats, identity, the subway. I enjoyed it!