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Wrestling With My Thoughts: A Doctor With Severe Mental Illness Discovers Strength
She couldn't believe it. There she was with her medical qualifications sitting on the floor of a mental hospital. She'd been baptized, offered her life to God, wanted to serve him anywhere, but no, surely not this...
Sharon Hastings is absolutely passionate about helping anyone who suffers from 'severe and enduring mental illness' (SEMI): schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and schizoaffective disorder. She wants the church to know all about these illnesses: how they devastate ordinary people and how they need to be treated. By telling her story, warts and all, showing her own tortuous, painful journey, she equips us to come alongside loved ones, fellow church members, friends and neighbours, understanding the social and spiritual ramifications of their illnesses, including them in our activities (where appropriate) and encouraging their spiritual growth.
Contents
Introduction: Deep joy
1 Too numb to pray - Wrestling with thoughts of darkness
2 The symphonies have lost their colour - Wrestling with low mood
3 I want to go home - Wrestling with my loss of freedom
4 Throwing the bouquet in the bin - Wrestling with my identity
5 A case too complex to treat - Wrestling with rejection
6 He wants me back - Wrestling with God
7 Sighing out my bitterness - Wrestling with despair
8 Too alive - Wrestling with suicidal thoughts
9 Aftercare. At last - Wrestling with my body
10 More than well - Wrestling with mania
11 Support for my application - Wrestling with the General Medical Council
12 The network of the fourth dimension - Wrestling with psychosis
13 A complicated little creature - Wrestling, with fresh hope
14 This doesn't feel like 'friends' - Wrestling with risk
15 It's not your average relationship - Wrestling with first love
16 Even there your hand will guide - Wrestling, with acceptance
Epilogue
Appendix 1 FAQs
Appendix 2 Useful contacts and resources
End notes
A natural storyteller, the author draws us in. We journey with her as she shares deeply. With wisdom, kindness and the heart of a bruised survivor, she interweaves her exceptional story with vital teaching which cannot be ignored by anyone within the church today.
Sharon Hastings is absolutely passionate about helping anyone who suffers from 'severe and enduring mental illness' (SEMI): schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and schizoaffective disorder. She wants the church to know all about these illnesses: how they devastate ordinary people and how they need to be treated. By telling her story, warts and all, showing her own tortuous, painful journey, she equips us to come alongside loved ones, fellow church members, friends and neighbours, understanding the social and spiritual ramifications of their illnesses, including them in our activities (where appropriate) and encouraging their spiritual growth.
Contents
Introduction: Deep joy
1 Too numb to pray - Wrestling with thoughts of darkness
2 The symphonies have lost their colour - Wrestling with low mood
3 I want to go home - Wrestling with my loss of freedom
4 Throwing the bouquet in the bin - Wrestling with my identity
5 A case too complex to treat - Wrestling with rejection
6 He wants me back - Wrestling with God
7 Sighing out my bitterness - Wrestling with despair
8 Too alive - Wrestling with suicidal thoughts
9 Aftercare. At last - Wrestling with my body
10 More than well - Wrestling with mania
11 Support for my application - Wrestling with the General Medical Council
12 The network of the fourth dimension - Wrestling with psychosis
13 A complicated little creature - Wrestling, with fresh hope
14 This doesn't feel like 'friends' - Wrestling with risk
15 It's not your average relationship - Wrestling with first love
16 Even there your hand will guide - Wrestling, with acceptance
Epilogue
Appendix 1 FAQs
Appendix 2 Useful contacts and resources
End notes
A natural storyteller, the author draws us in. We journey with her as she shares deeply. With wisdom, kindness and the heart of a bruised survivor, she interweaves her exceptional story with vital teaching which cannot be ignored by anyone within the church today.
208 pages, Paperback
Published January 16, 2020
11 people are currently reading
62 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
July 31, 2023
I cried the whole way through this! I couldn’t put it down- literally read it cover to cover on a flight. It’s really honestly written and it’s one that’s going to stick with me. I cried as I read about Sharon suffering from mental illnesses and especially when medical professionals didn’t understand or took her off programmes. It was beautiful to read how loyal her friends were in the highs and lows and how God was always there.
May 19, 2022
Heartbreaking to read of this lady's struggles but very helpful to gain some insight into her thoughts and feelings through her mental illness. She very honestly and clearly explains many conditions through the book. It's amazing to see how God has held her and strengthened her and how good He is despite her severe illness throughout her life.
December 21, 2024
Introduction
Wrestling With My Thoughts is a memoir about a medical doctor struggling with severe mental illness, written by Sharon Hastings. I would compare it to Kay Redfield Jamison’s An Unquiet Mind, which is often the go-to book for those in the bipolar community. Jamison is certainly held in high regard among those with severe mental illness; equally Sharon Hastings deserves to be as well.
Her Christian perspective
A large part of Sharon’s book is written through the lens of her Christian faith and extensive medical knowledge, which surpasses most. I gather that Wrestling With My Thoughts is received well by Christians with mental illness, who feel blessed to have her book. While there have been many helpful books on mental illness over the years, Sharon Hastings’ book is unique. Although she recommends other books, I know no other memoir by a medical expert that tackles the issue of psychosis from a Christian perspective; I call her a Christian Kay Redfield Jamison.
Her medical perspective
However, it’s not only Sharon’s medical knowledge that sets her apart from other mental health memoirs. What makes her book so helpful is the nature of her story. Sharon tells the reader throughout the book about the different diagnoses given to her. This book, then, is factual rather than simply sharing Sharon’s gut-wrenching emotions about her life’s struggles and circumstances.
Her resilience
You can’t help but sympathise with Sharon at different moments throughout the book. Without spoiling it, there are disappointments and trials that would challenge the resolve of most, yet Sharon says she has a story of recovery that doesn’t mean everything is perfect, but it’s a quality of life that she can enjoy and work to maintain. I greatly respect her as someone who has achieved so much despite facing huge challenges with her mental health. There are times reading the book that I asked myself how a Christian could suffer so much and yet remain in the faith. Only Sharon can answer that question.
Her honesty
As someone who works in mental health, I found her information on the various diagnoses much easier to understand, and we see them lived out in her story. It’s very different to merely reading a psychiatry manual. Also, as someone who suffers from bipolar affective disorder, I was thankful she was brutally honest about mental illness – to her credit. She was so honest it was comforting. I felt like I wasn’t alone. I was reassured that somebody from a Christian background, like mine, could struggle with mental illness through no fault of their own, and it had nothing to do with sin or a lack of maturity in character.
Concluding thoughts
I would highly recommend Wrestling With My Thoughts to anybody who wants to better understand mental illness, but I think this book has a special place in the heart of Christians who have or struggle with psychosis. I humbly declare that I am one of them.
Wrestling With My Thoughts is a memoir about a medical doctor struggling with severe mental illness, written by Sharon Hastings. I would compare it to Kay Redfield Jamison’s An Unquiet Mind, which is often the go-to book for those in the bipolar community. Jamison is certainly held in high regard among those with severe mental illness; equally Sharon Hastings deserves to be as well.
Her Christian perspective
A large part of Sharon’s book is written through the lens of her Christian faith and extensive medical knowledge, which surpasses most. I gather that Wrestling With My Thoughts is received well by Christians with mental illness, who feel blessed to have her book. While there have been many helpful books on mental illness over the years, Sharon Hastings’ book is unique. Although she recommends other books, I know no other memoir by a medical expert that tackles the issue of psychosis from a Christian perspective; I call her a Christian Kay Redfield Jamison.
Her medical perspective
However, it’s not only Sharon’s medical knowledge that sets her apart from other mental health memoirs. What makes her book so helpful is the nature of her story. Sharon tells the reader throughout the book about the different diagnoses given to her. This book, then, is factual rather than simply sharing Sharon’s gut-wrenching emotions about her life’s struggles and circumstances.
Her resilience
You can’t help but sympathise with Sharon at different moments throughout the book. Without spoiling it, there are disappointments and trials that would challenge the resolve of most, yet Sharon says she has a story of recovery that doesn’t mean everything is perfect, but it’s a quality of life that she can enjoy and work to maintain. I greatly respect her as someone who has achieved so much despite facing huge challenges with her mental health. There are times reading the book that I asked myself how a Christian could suffer so much and yet remain in the faith. Only Sharon can answer that question.
Her honesty
As someone who works in mental health, I found her information on the various diagnoses much easier to understand, and we see them lived out in her story. It’s very different to merely reading a psychiatry manual. Also, as someone who suffers from bipolar affective disorder, I was thankful she was brutally honest about mental illness – to her credit. She was so honest it was comforting. I felt like I wasn’t alone. I was reassured that somebody from a Christian background, like mine, could struggle with mental illness through no fault of their own, and it had nothing to do with sin or a lack of maturity in character.
Concluding thoughts
I would highly recommend Wrestling With My Thoughts to anybody who wants to better understand mental illness, but I think this book has a special place in the heart of Christians who have or struggle with psychosis. I humbly declare that I am one of them.
January 14, 2020
As someone whose experience of life and faith is sewn deep with experience of mental health struggles, I often read books in and around these sorts of questions. Sometimes, these books are very ‘Christian’, not in a bad way, but not in a good way, either. Other times the books read almost as if the author is trying to convince themselves and their readers of the reality of pain – baring all, beyond the possibility of hope. Both can be harrowing, in their different ways. Sharon Hasting’s Wrestling With My Thoughts falls into neither trap. This is a book that I’ve been working on the marketing of since returning to IVP, so that might shade my review, but I hope you will believe me when I say that Wrestling With My Thoughts is one of the most powerful stories I’ve read recently, and is something I would love to give to a wide range of friends and family to read.
Read the rest of my review on my blog: https://www.thomascreedy.co.uk/book-r...
Read the rest of my review on my blog: https://www.thomascreedy.co.uk/book-r...
November 1, 2020
Given that Sharon felt it necessary to deal with issues such as demon possession and whether or not Christians should take medication or only choose Christian psychiatrists, speaks volumes about the attitude of some Churches towards people suffering with their mental health. If statistics are correct and 10% of the population are experiencing mental difficulties at any given time, three is a very good chance that there are many people sitting in congregations today suffering in silence. This painfully honest and brilliantly written account of one such person will give hope to readers who find themselves in a similar situation, insight and advice to readers who wish to understand this devastating illness, and a wake-up call to the Churches who have done so little to dispel the stigma attaching to mental illness. Well done Sharon Hastings.
February 21, 2020
A deeply moving and searingly honest portrayal of the terrors of mental illness. I found the descriptions of paranoia and depression really helpful in coming to terms with my own trauma experiences. Also, it has equipped me far better in my role as pastoral carer in meeting those who struggle with mental health issues. Sharon is a great writer and a kind and gentle person. When passing through an eating disorder clinic she shared that she did not obsess over her appearance or weight, but simply did not feel that she deserved to be nourished. I could have wept. You will not be the same if you read this compelling story.
May 1, 2023
This book was suggested to me as I work in a mental health setting. I found it really interesting with a compelling narrative - even though I do not share the author’s Christian beliefs. I really enjoyed the medical explanations and found them very helpful. The writing was really skilful at capturing the mental states the author was in. It was disturbing and moving but ultimately very hopeful without being sentimental.
August 7, 2020
Very helpful insight into mental illness
This book is clearly written in lay man's terms. It describes the author's experience of mental illness simply and honestly. The medical explanations of various terms and treatments are very helpful. It is a book full of hope and reassurance showing how God is faithful and sometimes His plans for us are not always the same as ours!
This book is clearly written in lay man's terms. It describes the author's experience of mental illness simply and honestly. The medical explanations of various terms and treatments are very helpful. It is a book full of hope and reassurance showing how God is faithful and sometimes His plans for us are not always the same as ours!
August 14, 2023
Honest and moving
A beautifully-written account about how the author deals with her complex and multiple mental health issues. Gripping, moving and persuasive. The short explanatory notes about the scientific and medical aspects are very helpful, and don’t interrupt the flow of the narrative. I read it in one sitting. I can highly recommend it.
A beautifully-written account about how the author deals with her complex and multiple mental health issues. Gripping, moving and persuasive. The short explanatory notes about the scientific and medical aspects are very helpful, and don’t interrupt the flow of the narrative. I read it in one sitting. I can highly recommend it.
August 18, 2020
Brilliant! Such a powerful and honest story which must have taken incredible courage to write. So many will benefit from reading this book. Not only engaging from start to finish but oh how beautifully written!
February 12, 2022
Beautifully written book. A really honest but informative view into the impact of mental health. Slightly misleading I feel, in that as far as I can tell the author has never worked as a doctor, but insight into the GMC views on mental health and the transition from ‘doctor’ to patient
March 14, 2020
Wow. An incredible story of intense pain and darkness but also of enduring hope. Inspiring, challenging and incredibly moving.
October 14, 2023
This is a very honest book - deeply moving and I appreciated the description of Ron’s part in the story - I’ve been in his role a few times
March 16, 2024
Interesting. Informative.
March 25, 2024
Fascinating and raw. So privileged to hear Sharon Hasting's lived experience as a woman, a Christian and someone experiencing mental illness. Invaluable!
April 9, 2025
Incredible depiction of what it is like to go through psychosis and mania as well as a hopeful story of God's enduring presence.
April 9, 2020
This book was eye opening and really helped give me a better understanding of the sort of darkness that affects so many of my friends and family members.
It was a challenging and difficult read to see Sharon's repeated struggles. At the same time it is so important and I so appreciate her honesty and willingness to share her experiences.
It was a challenging and difficult read to see Sharon's repeated struggles. At the same time it is so important and I so appreciate her honesty and willingness to share her experiences.
July 23, 2022
Best book I read this year, and can recommend. I was particularly encouraged by the last chapter
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews