The Caregiver's Guide to Dementia: Practical Advice for Caring for Yourself and Your Loved One

by Gail Weatherill

Care for yourself, while caring for a loved one with dementia

When caring for someone with dementia, your own mental stability can be the single most critical factor in your loved one's quality of life. The Caregiver's Guide to Dementia brings practical and comprehensive guidance to understanding the illness, caring for someone, and caring for yourself.

From understanding common behavioral and mood changes to making financial decisions, this book contains bulleted lists of actions you can take to improve your health and your caregiving. Inspirational and compassionate, it focuses on the caregiver's underlying love and humanity that cannot be taken away by any disease.

In The Caregiver's Guide to Dementia you'll

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Medical

184 pages, Paperback

Published January 21, 2020

Reviews

[Meghan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is the kind of book you never think you'll need to read as a 31-year-old single. But then you do, and I am grateful to have found it when I needed it. If for no other reason than to read the words "If you bounce between rage, sorrow and profound guilt, you are right on course." It's oddly comforting to know you're not alone as you try to do your best to care for the people you love, feel that you often fall short, and always need to get back up.

The book provides a great mix of practical advice, questions to ask various members of your care team and support network, and resources on everything from day-to-day care to financial and legal concerns to how to separate feelings from facts. I also really resonated with the section on ambiguous grief and loss as that's something I've been experiencing but finding hard to articulate.

Note: I was offered a free digital copy from the author/publisher in exchange for an honest review. I am grateful to Gail Weatherill, RN, CAEd and Callisto Publisher for this wonderful resource that I believe will benefit many people.

[Sean O · Rating 5 out of 5]

I never thought I’d need a book like this. But here I am.

This is a very good book with up to date info. It’s full of practical tips and organized well.

I’m going to keep this book handy while I’m a caregiver.

[Steph · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is very helpful! I will refer back to it often, I'm sure. I'm glad I bought it and definitely recommend it to others looking for advice (as the title says) caring for yourself and your loved one.

[Hope · Rating 4 out of 5]

A wealth of information and written in a compassionate manner. It would be great to have a Canadian version for resources.

[Jeff Korioth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Educational Read

Learned a lot about the highs/lows and do’s/don’ts of care taking a family member with dementia. How to take care of oneself to better take care of your loved one.

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Taking care of someone with Dementia is very difficult and I am grateful that my daughter gave me this book. I recommend it to anyone who is taking care of a parent, friend, relative or spouse with Dementia. I also recommend it for professional caregivers. Reading the book doesn't make life easier but at least the book gives helpful hints and suggestions on how to interact with the person with Dementia and also how to take care of ourselves.

[Abigail · Rating 4 out of 5]

Honestly, never thought I’d be reading a book that talks about dementia at 14 yrs old but so far it has given me lots of great info, not really the genre I read since I’m more of a fantasy fiction type but I only started reading it cause my grandma has dementia and it’s just been kinda hard taking care of her while also balancing school and some with my parents and work

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

First things first:
Print out a dementia directive, one for each parent, to go over together and fill out. May you never have to actually use it, but if for some reason the cause arises, the document is already there.

Being notified that such a document is out there is one of the many, many reasons worth reading this book-- at some point, I'm going to have to buy a copy to refer to as my dad's dementia progresses (deteriorates?) over the next few years. I wish this came in other languages, so that my mom can have a more easily understandable copy, but I'm still really grateful such a compassionate and resourceful book exists! Since we are at the beginning of the diagnosis, it was a really good guide to what kind of legal, financial, physical, and emotional hurdles are to come; that being said, it is also really easy to feel overwhelmed reading this, which Weatherill knows and points out repeatedly, ending each section with a "how are you doing?" check-in. (Do I really want to think about hospice and end-of-life care right now? No. Am I glad that is on my radar, with action steps listed out for me? Yes.)

I very much appreciate how each section ends with two important lists: "What to Do/Say" and "Questions to Ask Your Doctor/Lawyer/Financial Planner, etc." It takes something so huge and vague and breaks it down into manageable steps-- I definitely compiled my binder full of information as soon as I read about it in chapter two, and it actually came in handy the next time we went to see a doctor. I felt prepared, capable, and confident in that moment, and I know I'm going to need to hold onto those small wins for the long road ahead. So thankful for this book!

[Jerry Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

In common with pretty much everyone else I imagine, I read this because of the situation my family finds itself in. Of course, nobody wants to become a caregiver for an ailing relative or friend, because dementia is an affliction that devastates everyone involved. This book is very compassionate, and is full of advice for how to deal with some of the challenges presented by a dementia patient (wandering, repetitive behaviors, memory loss, incontinence, aggression etc.) These are all useful and provide a good insight into the goal of lowering the stress in an absurdly stressful situation that, for caregivers, never ends whilst they are in that roll.

And this is where this book is really well done I think. It is probably not without reason that the title puts "caring for yourself" ahead of "caring for your loved one". Even though much of the book gives practical tips on how to provide care, the overall theme is how to make it as easy as possible on oneself as a caregiver, and to take care of you. Part of this is practical. If the caregiver can't cope, who will look after the loved one? But it is also about general wellbeing of the caregiver. This is a horrible position to find oneself in. Nobody wants to do it (and GW is to be greatly commended for saying nobody HAS to. It is a volunteer position and this is worth stating) but so many of us do, and we are desperately trying to cope whilst experiencing all the feelings of loss, guilt, anger, frustration and grief that go along with this course.

Well worth a read and it can be consumed in a single sitting or two, and most likely is one to which I shall return as my family tries to cope with what is going on. Recommended.

[You're Finally Home · Rating 4 out of 5]

A highly empathetic yet proactive guide book for those who's loved ones live with dementia. This book is guided throughout the journey people will face, from initial diagnosis to end of life care. The inclusion of possible questions to provide to healthcare workers is a great idea that will clear up queries for carers as well as make sure those with dementia receive the best support. Weatherill uses constructive but compassionate language throughout, avoiding unnecessary jargon. My only critique, which is not to the fault of the book or its author, is that the book uses phrases and descriptions primarily set within The United States. As a nursing student I'm aware that the majority of her advice and details is universally applicable, however those outside of the US reading this book may feel the advice given is not applicable for them. Otherwise, this is a great book for given support and even for people who are interested in the topic of dementia in general.

[Lorie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I would recommend to anyone who has a loved one with a dementia diagnosis whether you are a primary caregiver or not. It gives good explanations of the various stages, as well as for the caregiver, emphasizes the importance of taking care of yourself. If you are not a caregiver, read it and learn how to support your loved one's caregiver. It is the hardest and most thankless job in the world and they need your help whether they will admit it or not.


Thank you NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for review.

[Debbie Tremel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book I wish I had earlier in the decline of my loved one. There is not only a great deal of information on what to expect and how to take the best care you can of your loved one, but there is also a lot of focus on self-care as a caregiver too. The question is often asked, "How are you doing?" and even just reading in a book, those words had great impact. You also get the perspective of other caregivers, finding that, even some of the tough thoughts we have, we are not alone. Highly recommended if you have a person with dementia in your life.

[Kirsten Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish this book existed in 2019 or I read it before now. Filled with practical information, presented in a pleasing format with a focus on the caregiver. The only thing I would change is a link to a website for the resources section instead of a static list in the back of the book. The first link I looked at - Alzheimer’s Reading Room- was a dead link. A webpage on the publishers website or her site (down for maintenance today) allows for updating.

If a family member has a diagnosis, or you suspect dementia, read this book. And take notes.

[Louise Galluzzo · Rating 2 out of 5]

It’s not that this is a bad book, it’s just very basic, and geared towards an American audience, which is fine, but I didn’t feel I learnt much. The descriptions of the rare dementias were very brief, and it didn’t address at all how to tackle challenging behaviour. I guess this book would be ok for someone who knows nothing about dementia and is both at the very start of their caregiving and American, but if that’s not you, don’t waste your time. That said, I do wish I could afford to have such an empathetic nurse care for my mother.

[Debra · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the first book that I read after my Mother's dementia diagnosis, and I have since read many other books on the subject. I am grateful that I read this one first, as I gained a wealth of understanding on how to navigate this new normal for our family. The book is very well written, compassionate, and informative. There is a great deal of emphasis on self-care for the caregiver, and I highly recommend this book for any caregiver or family member whose loved one is experiencing the daunting new reality of a loved one living with dementia.

[Lady Makaveli · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have to say this has been the most helpful book for me as a caregiver that I've ever read. It even taught me a lot, noting little things she does or I do, that ... are a sign of something larger. I would highly suggest this to all people so we can have a more educated work, but if anyone in particular, all caregivers for a loved one need to read this, no many how many years you are , or are not yet, to go.

happy 5 *s

[Barb Van Dinter · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have read a couple of books about dementia but this one has been the best one. It is a quick read. It is packed with great advice and insight into all forms of dementia. I would highly recommend this to anyone who has a loved one with dementia. Even if you are not the caregiver, it will help you understand the disease. Maybe even sympathize with those who are caregivers and understand what they are dealing with.

[Marsha · Rating 5 out of 5]

An understanding understandable read

Many thanks for the supportive information given. Appreciated even the affirmation that those “passing - sometimes quickly sometimes slowly - thoughts are ‘normal.’ The resources I pray will bring more help and make continued endurance possible.

[Nancy Curteman · Rating 5 out of 5]

The author clearly knows the needs of a caregiver. She is a professional and has worked with people in need of care for many years. Her suggestions are easy to understand and implement. Her writing style is also easy to read. I highly recommend this book to everyone because you never know when you may become a caregiver.

[Jo Ann Bigelow · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent resource

This book provides good practical advice to caregivers and covers many topics from intimacy to legal and financial. The perfect gift for someone facing or about to face the challenge of caring for someone with dementia. I am not a caregiver but it helped me understand what some of my friends are enduring and gave me ideas on how I might help.

[Kiana Moore · Rating 5 out of 5]

So grateful that I have found this book. I recently started working in an assisted living facility that has a dementia unit. It was interesting reading the tips that we currently utilize and tips that can also help in the future with residents.

[Kirsti Knodle · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a wonderful book to read if struggling while taking care of a loved one with dementia. Although I knew some of these points already, it was very educational and validating to read. I've suggested it to many people as a starting point.

[Laura Wessels · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think this actually was really well done.It was factual and kind of gave me a heads up on what to look out for it was a little scary as well , definitely not anything to look forward to , but definitely useful to be prepared for what the future might bring.

[Kathryn · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an excellent resource for caregivers. Very compassionate and comprehensive including how to look after yourself. I was sent a review copy from the publishers.

[Suzanne Ritchie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you for writing the book we needed

The advice you shared helped answer questions we didn't know to ask. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and experience with us.

[lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very easy read. The content was right on with our love one.


Highly recommend reading this book for all caregivers and family members.
The author knows what she is talking about.

Thank you

[Cindy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good book with lots of practical advice and tips for those caring for someone with dementia. Also a good list of resources at the end.

[Sabina Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent

[Laquita Sullivan Herrin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book after my caregiver journey was over. I added it to our Camden County Alzheimer's Project list of free books we are offering to help other families.

[SheppieMomma · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this to better understand a family members diagnosis. Extremely helpful.