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Becoming a Visible Man
At least two generations of transgender, nonbinary, and gender-nonconforming people have emerged since Becoming a Visible Man was first published in 2004, but the book remains a beloved resource for trans people and their allies.
Since the first edition's publication, author Jamison Green's writings and advocacy among business and governmental organizations around the world have led to major changes in the fields of law, medicine, and social policy, and his (mostly invisible) work has had significant effects on trans people globally. This new edition captures the changes of the last two decades, while also imparting a message of self-acceptance and health.
With profoundly personal and eminently practical threads, Green clarifies transgender experience for transgender people and their families, friends, and coworkers. Medical and mental health care providers, educators, business leaders, and advocates seeking information about transgender concerns can all gain from Green's integrative approach to the topic. This book candidly addresses emotional relationships that are affected by a transition, and brings refined integrity to the struggle to self-define, whether one undergoes a transition or chooses not to.
Emphasizing the lives of transgender men—who are often overlooked—he elucidates the experience of masculinity in a way that is self-assured and inclusive of feminist values. Green's inspirational wisdom has informed and empowered thousands of readers. There is still no other book like Becoming a Visible Man in the transgender canon.
Since the first edition's publication, author Jamison Green's writings and advocacy among business and governmental organizations around the world have led to major changes in the fields of law, medicine, and social policy, and his (mostly invisible) work has had significant effects on trans people globally. This new edition captures the changes of the last two decades, while also imparting a message of self-acceptance and health.
With profoundly personal and eminently practical threads, Green clarifies transgender experience for transgender people and their families, friends, and coworkers. Medical and mental health care providers, educators, business leaders, and advocates seeking information about transgender concerns can all gain from Green's integrative approach to the topic. This book candidly addresses emotional relationships that are affected by a transition, and brings refined integrity to the struggle to self-define, whether one undergoes a transition or chooses not to.
Emphasizing the lives of transgender men—who are often overlooked—he elucidates the experience of masculinity in a way that is self-assured and inclusive of feminist values. Green's inspirational wisdom has informed and empowered thousands of readers. There is still no other book like Becoming a Visible Man in the transgender canon.
250 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2004
79 people are currently reading
2915 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 93 reviews
June 30, 2016
I found this book when I was not-quite a year into HRT, and found it very compelling. To me, it felt like Green was writing for two audiences: average folks who are not transgender who may be curious about what it means to be trans, and for transgender men looking for guidance. Due to this, the book can often read (to a trans person) like "Trans Men 101", and can get a little dry and technical at some points.
At the same time, there was so much advice and insight that can only come from someone many years one's senior that I found invaluable. Green talks about his relationship, fatherhood, connecting with one's family, and the history of transgender activism, especially within the transmasculine/FTM community. These were words I needed to read at the time, and appreciated the insight of an older trans person when so often the work I find is by folks closer to my age. Some concepts may seem a little dated to those who keep up with current topics in the trans activist community, but I'd still recommend reading it if you're a young transmasculine/FTM person.
At the same time, there was so much advice and insight that can only come from someone many years one's senior that I found invaluable. Green talks about his relationship, fatherhood, connecting with one's family, and the history of transgender activism, especially within the transmasculine/FTM community. These were words I needed to read at the time, and appreciated the insight of an older trans person when so often the work I find is by folks closer to my age. Some concepts may seem a little dated to those who keep up with current topics in the trans activist community, but I'd still recommend reading it if you're a young transmasculine/FTM person.
July 31, 2023
Maybe i'll come back later to write a more thorough review, maybe not, so i'll say this at least
Read this! Seriously, please. I love this memoir by a trans man that is my grandparents age and I am a 34 year old trans man that just started hrt and legally changed my name this year.
It's readable, it's informative, it's updated, I love the writing and the voice and i've tabbed and annotated my copy to hell and back! Also, this book gives me so, so much hope and I cried so many happy tears while reading it.
Also, it's on Hoopla and Scribd if you have access to them
Read this! Seriously, please. I love this memoir by a trans man that is my grandparents age and I am a 34 year old trans man that just started hrt and legally changed my name this year.
It's readable, it's informative, it's updated, I love the writing and the voice and i've tabbed and annotated my copy to hell and back! Also, this book gives me so, so much hope and I cried so many happy tears while reading it.
Also, it's on Hoopla and Scribd if you have access to them
January 13, 2023
It’s always so touching to read memoirs of trans people who paved the way for us.
January 10, 2022
There aren’t a lot of books available on the female to male transgender experience. Unlike those undergoing male to female transition, FTM folks seem to be more quiet about their process. I was glad to find this book as someone dear to me has gone through this transition and I long to gain a better understanding of what he has gone through.
This book speaks to both the larger culture and challenges in the trans community and the more individual ones experienced by the author and his family. I found it interesting and yet heart breaking how each of the sectors of the LGBTQ+ communities still fight against each other. I so wish we could accept people for what and where they are, not jockeying for position over one another.
In a small way I’ve never felt comfortable in my body- not gender- or sex-wise, but always vaguely disappointed in its lack of strength and my inefficient shape. When I had my first child and had to have a c-section, it took me a long time to find any affection for that body, especially as I struggled with breast-feeding and such, all things I had been raised to expect a female body could do with ease, or at least without so much of a battle.
I can’t imagine how very horrible it would be to reject the actual shape and function of my apparent gender, how very lost one would feel, how right it would be to finally match up the bits with the brain, be who you are. This book gave me a bit of a glimpse into this process.
I recommend it for anyone interested in knowing more about transition and the transitioning community. I have much to learn.
This book speaks to both the larger culture and challenges in the trans community and the more individual ones experienced by the author and his family. I found it interesting and yet heart breaking how each of the sectors of the LGBTQ+ communities still fight against each other. I so wish we could accept people for what and where they are, not jockeying for position over one another.
In a small way I’ve never felt comfortable in my body- not gender- or sex-wise, but always vaguely disappointed in its lack of strength and my inefficient shape. When I had my first child and had to have a c-section, it took me a long time to find any affection for that body, especially as I struggled with breast-feeding and such, all things I had been raised to expect a female body could do with ease, or at least without so much of a battle.
I can’t imagine how very horrible it would be to reject the actual shape and function of my apparent gender, how very lost one would feel, how right it would be to finally match up the bits with the brain, be who you are. This book gave me a bit of a glimpse into this process.
I recommend it for anyone interested in knowing more about transition and the transitioning community. I have much to learn.
March 1, 2024
Reading this as a young trans person was really comforting, Green shares his personal journey of being trans and provides general information about transgender people. There’s some thoughts I’ve had as a trans man that I thought were isolated but then the more I read this book the more I realised that other people like Green felt and feel the way I do. Being trans is such an individual experience in the way we all feel and go through it differently but there are quite a few similarities that overlap and that’s what makes it comforting, know I’m not the only one.
It was also really interesting and warming to read a book talking about what it was like being trans before the 2000s, to know that we have always been here!!! Learning about how difficult it was for trans people makes me grateful for what we have now, not that it’s amazing (it’s not of course) but it’s considerably better than the time Green talks about.
I recommend this book whether you’re trans or not because I think there’s quite a lot of content that describes the experience for non trans folk too :)
It was also really interesting and warming to read a book talking about what it was like being trans before the 2000s, to know that we have always been here!!! Learning about how difficult it was for trans people makes me grateful for what we have now, not that it’s amazing (it’s not of course) but it’s considerably better than the time Green talks about.
I recommend this book whether you’re trans or not because I think there’s quite a lot of content that describes the experience for non trans folk too :)
May 21, 2021
Fascinating, especially since his history goes back to cover Lou Sullivan (whose journals were fascinating but, as journals can be, incomplete in regards to surrounding history) and also those years when I was "coming of age" (80s-90s), and so validated a lot of my felt experience then. Even though his experience was nothing like mine and overall there's a bit of a pedantic tone that grates. But he's covering A LOT in this book and I think he does it well: current scientific and legal understanding, history, memoir, resources, some overview of gender theory - and presenting other takes not just his.
Not convinced by his biological sex / gender take which is why I'm not recommending this to cis people. But for a trans masc audience there's a lot here to think about, wrestle with, and be informed by.
He does hold some prominent positions and I wonder how much he's constrained by them, both in his own thinking and in how he feels he must present his material.
Not convinced by his biological sex / gender take which is why I'm not recommending this to cis people. But for a trans masc audience there's a lot here to think about, wrestle with, and be informed by.
He does hold some prominent positions and I wonder how much he's constrained by them, both in his own thinking and in how he feels he must present his material.
April 5, 2008
It's not perfect, but I appreciate the honesty and the wisdom from a pioneer of the trans movement. Because of him and other folks that continue to be out and share their stories, I can be out and share mine, no matter how our paths intertwine or diverge. I think he is very eloquent and moving and leaves a lot of room for other trans experiences, which I don't often find.
June 23, 2024
My interest in trans issues stems in part from their predominant position is current state politics in various places. A politics that reflects a lack of understanding, a lack that demands learning. Most of my reading so far has focused on male-to-female transitions; I wondered to what extent there was similarity and difference between them and female-to-male transitions. But I learned much more.
Green presents a more nuanced version of gender identity, a more inclusive one, than I have read elsewhere. He pushes against all stereotypes. One analogy I appreciated was to a computer: biological sex as the hard drive, cultural gender as the soft drive, and gender identity as the operating system that mediates the other two. Besides the chapters that emphasize gender theory there are chapters of practical information for one who may be seeking medical intervention; for those with a scholarly interest there are sections of annotated bibliography. Interspersed is a wealth of personal experience, always with the caveat that there is no single way to be a transgendered
person. There is discussion of the efforts to include transness in the LGBTQ umbrella, resolved by seeing each as some form of gender transgression. Readers can focus on the parts that are relevant to them and skim/skip the rest. But for any who are ready to drop the whole somewhere in the middle, I'd encourage reading the chapter, "Willful Destiny" near the end before quitting. It contains a couple vivid vignettes and a discussion of intersexuality that is important.
(I read the 2020 edition.)
Green presents a more nuanced version of gender identity, a more inclusive one, than I have read elsewhere. He pushes against all stereotypes. One analogy I appreciated was to a computer: biological sex as the hard drive, cultural gender as the soft drive, and gender identity as the operating system that mediates the other two. Besides the chapters that emphasize gender theory there are chapters of practical information for one who may be seeking medical intervention; for those with a scholarly interest there are sections of annotated bibliography. Interspersed is a wealth of personal experience, always with the caveat that there is no single way to be a transgendered
person. There is discussion of the efforts to include transness in the LGBTQ umbrella, resolved by seeing each as some form of gender transgression. Readers can focus on the parts that are relevant to them and skim/skip the rest. But for any who are ready to drop the whole somewhere in the middle, I'd encourage reading the chapter, "Willful Destiny" near the end before quitting. It contains a couple vivid vignettes and a discussion of intersexuality that is important.
(I read the 2020 edition.)
November 25, 2020
[2004] Notes to self…A little more textbooky than I had perhaps been looking for, would be great assigned reading for schools. His personal story is also incorporated but felt overall more educational text than memoir. This text did provide good context for how far things have come since it was written sixteen years ago. Now we are seeing an LGBTIQQ community that is growing and thriving, and hopefully will continue to develop exponentially, but in the early 90s there was very little or almost no trans community to speak of. The author was one of the people who ended up leading the way, particularly for transmen, who had even less support than transwomen.
December 2, 2022
I read the 2nd edition which seems to have cleared up any issues of outdated language or concepts. This is an important piece of history and one of the best books on trans experience that I've encountered.
September 15, 2023
“If I am to be visible, let me acquit myself well”-177
Cornerstone in trans literature, reads like a cross between personal essay / memoir / pure NF. Humble and gracious. Of its time but also eternally relevant as an artifact of trans history.
Cornerstone in trans literature, reads like a cross between personal essay / memoir / pure NF. Humble and gracious. Of its time but also eternally relevant as an artifact of trans history.
Read
March 5, 2024very insightful about the FTM trans experience
November 11, 2025
this book made me finally put my foot down and bring out the post-it notes, because i cannot stand when a book pisses me off but when i go to write my review, i can't remember exactly what it was that bothered me. thanks to that breakdown, i'll be able to actually quote my least favorite parts of this book (and in order!). everybody say thank you to the loose pack of post-its i stole from target like 6 years ago (i will note here that i didn't start marking notes until around 70 pages in, and was away from supplies for the last ~50 pages, so i may be missing some things that annoyed me)
the first thing i remember that jumped out at me (before i had brought out post-it notes) was how the author said he joined a Men's Movement group, which frightened me because of its similarity to the notoriously misogynistic Men's Right Movement, although upon further (albeit limited) research it seemed it was focused more on self improvement of men than a backlash towards feminism like the MRM, and while still a little suspicious i decided to give the author the benefit of the doubt here -- and while nothing about his little Men's Movement group sounded particularly troubling (other than the idea of a Male-exclusive music group seeming at least a little... odd... but i guess it has its purposes), this was far from the only eyebrow-raising thing in this book.
in fact, my very first post-it note starts us off STRONG! the very first comment i made: "male socialization ?" referring to this quote on page 74: "Another was hearing an MTF transsexual tell a room full of people that the realities of transsexualism meant that MTF people would have to 'adjust to taking lower-paying jobs, while FTMs can look forward to better employment opportunities.' I was stunned when I heard this. [...] There are male and female management styles, as well as masculine and feminine communication styles, and taking hormones doesn't instantly change one's socialization. Male socialization is often more successful in corporations where people are expected to be aggressive and competitive; people who are not raised to play male hierarchy games often unconsciously put out a signal that says, 'I'm number two.'"
for a respected trans author to so openly validate the idea of “gendered socialization”, especially in such a way that implies transfeminine people (who are typically referred to as “Male Socialized”) could actually have a privilege over transmasculine people in the workforce, is just shocking to me. it’s definitely no lie that the “masculine” traits the author mentions are heavily rewarded in certain workplaces, and some FTM people may struggle to acquire those traits as they transition. but saying that is much different from chalking it all up to one’s male or female “socialization”. and what the transfem person quoted here says definitely rings true — of course, trans men may struggle to get or hold a job if he is open about (or unable to hide) being trans, but between a trans man and a trans woman (especially between those who are of equal “passing” status (whether that be neither pass well at all but are still visibly trans, or between those who are indistinguishable to a cis person of their true gender)), there should be no doubt that the trans man would be favored. again, this doesn’t mean the trans man would never struggle due to his transsexualism, but when put against a trans woman, he would hold more privilege in this regard.
it’s very clear throughout this entire book that the author doesn’t realize that he holds privilege over trans women (or women in general), and it ruins the entire book for me. you’ll see more of this, but hey, i’m not even done with my first post-it note. there’s also this quote on page 75 about the trans women at a trans-oriented event: “They were often quite beautiful, and even those who were awkward or not as well-put-together, or who knew they would never appear as attractive as a woman as they’d like to, were deserving of compliments[...]” (emphasis mine) which is just a disgustingly rude thing to say about other people.
but wait! there’s one more quote from this post-it! on page 76: “[...] starting to advocate for a model of transness that diverged from the man-in-a-dress cliche.” to describe transfeminity like this, even if he’s only talking about the mainstream perception, is just transmisogynist. if he wants to raise awareness of trans people who are not women, he should have said that. instead, he basically separates himself from the unfortunate caricature of trans people without ever advocating for the trans women who are actually being caricaturized.
i hope with this, you understand why i was so frustrated with this book. but let’s move on, because i was frustrated with much more than just these 3 pages.
my next note comes to us from page 127: “There are some cases in which a person’s desire to change his or her sex actually is a manifestation of mental disturbance that is not gender variance, and in those cases people may be causing irreparable damage to themselves by attempting to transition”. my problem is not *exactly* with the quote, but rather the fact that no source or explanation for this seems to follow. what kinds of mental disturbance? how many people does it affect? he never tells us, and for such a dangerous idea (especially if untrue), it seems incredibly irresponsible to treat it as fact but never provide a source. it just feels like he’s spouting mainstream transphobic rhetoric in an attempt to… i don’t know, appeal to transphobic cis people by going “your fears are VALID and definitely rooted in reality, but don’t worry, that’s not ALL of us, just some of us!”
our next segment is probably our nastiest, and before i get into it, i’d like to clarify something: i do not believe in “canceling” a 70 year old for something he did as a 14 year old, nor do i want to imply anything uncouth about the author, but i want to bring attention to this section of the book because it absolutely was not written with the tact it should have been.
so, starting around page 148, the author admits to having sexually harassed another (16-year-old) child when he was 14 years old, to the point of climbing up a tree to stare through her window while she changed. “We wanted to see her undressed, and we dared each other to hide in the bushes outside her window, climb up in the branches of the bushy cypress that shielded her bedroom from the sun. I was the one who finally did it.” never does the author seem to have any remorse or shame for this horrifying act, and in fact only seems to infantilize himself in this scenario, making it seem like he just didn’t know any better: “‘Well, does she?’ Craig asked later. ‘Does she have hair on her pussy?’ ‘Yeah,’ I said, grinning like a dog. ‘She does.’ I didn’t even know what ‘pussy’ meant.” (also page 148) he may not have known what pussy meant, and he may really not have known what he had done wrong at the time. but years later, he should absolutely acknowledge just how wrong this act was, but he seems to just brush the entire thing off. (and i want to also add that this section highlights an issue with his idea of male/female socialization: he would probably claim himself to be “female socialized”, but wouldn’t this aggressive, sexual act, which was encouraged by other (cis) boys his age who allowed him to play the perpetrator and not the victim, imply a male socialization despite his female body?)
i will skip to the end of this segment, where he claims the 16-year-old girl he harassed said to him, “‘It wasn’t that you looked that hurt so much,’ she said. ‘It was that you stole that look and ran away. I always watched for you to come back, but you never did.’” (page 168) which is just… ridiculous. i’m sorry, there is no fucking way a 16-year-old girl who has been repeatedly sexually harassed for her body would say this. it feels like a disgusting, made-up fantasy, like the author is trying to reconcile with the incredibly inappropriate thing he did by concocting a world where the girl he hurt actually wanted it, wanted him to return to sexually harass her again. it doesn’t help that his takeaway from this is “[H]ow important it is to be present when a moment of intimacy is occurring.” (page 169). like “i was wrong to stare at a young girl getting naked through her window and then leaving, i should have instead stayed and made her aware that i was watching her, sexually, without her consent.” christ alive, dude.
on our next section, it will be made very clear (if it hasn’t been already) that the author has not been in real feminist circles *at least* since transitioning. he claims, on page 159, “But as society gradually accepted the idea that women could be equal human beings to men, [...] the effectiveness of that ‘blame the victim’ defense was increasingly diminished. Much of our society has redrawn the line and acknowledged that women do not, under any circumstances, deserve to be raped.” (i would like to add that this book was written over 20 years ago, so i’m sure this was even *less* true in 2003 than it is now… which is still not true for us as a society.) so he then compares rape against women to the gay panic defense (a legal defense for people who murdered or assaulted gay or transgender people, where they claim they acted impulsively out of fear of unwanted sexual advances, thus placing the blame on the injured or murdered gay/trans person) by claiming: “Consensus was more easily reached concerning the rape against women; we have yet to deal openly with sexual crimes against men.” (page 160).
this claim makes it abundantly clear that either this author has absolutely no significant women in his life, or that, if he does, he does not listen to them. there is absolutely no positive consensus for rape against women, much less so in 2003, but he seems to think everything is fine with women and everybody thinks rape is wrong so women who get raped have an easy time finding justice, unlike us men who are uniquely assaulted and get no support!
and here’s a fun tidbit of information that goes completely unmentioned here, too: TRANS WOMEN ARE THE MOST LIKELY TO BE AFFECTED BY THE TRANS PANIC DEFENSE!!! THIS ISN’T EVEN A FUCKING MALE-EXCLUSIVE PROBLEM!!! JESUS CHRIST!!!
sorry. the longer i work on this review the angrier i get because i have to see all the worst parts of this book all at once. thankfully, i don’t really have any significant post-its left to dig into, just one where he claims that cisgender gay men feel “betrayed” by gay trans men they end up attracted to, because they feel as if their “masculine domain” is being infiltrated, bringing out their “heterophobia or perhaps misogyny” (page 162) which… heterophobia. really lol. i guess at least he acknowledges gay men can be misogynistic (now acknowledge that trans men can be misogynistic! or would that feel too close to home as a misogynistic trans man?) and then another where he says “maybe i’m just lucky” due to always being supported in his trans identity by romantic/sexual partners, which, yes, is just very lucky, but also, OF FUCKING COURSE YOU’RE LUCKY, YOU WERE ABLE TO AFFORD $43,000 ($100,000+ today) TO FULLY TRANSITION IN THE COURSE OF 3 FUCKING YEARS, YOU FULLY PASS AS A MAN, YOU ARE A MAN, A WHITE MAN, OF COURSE YOU ARE FUCKING LUCKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JESUS CHRIST PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR PRIVILEGE JUST ONCE PLEASE
ok bye
the first thing i remember that jumped out at me (before i had brought out post-it notes) was how the author said he joined a Men's Movement group, which frightened me because of its similarity to the notoriously misogynistic Men's Right Movement, although upon further (albeit limited) research it seemed it was focused more on self improvement of men than a backlash towards feminism like the MRM, and while still a little suspicious i decided to give the author the benefit of the doubt here -- and while nothing about his little Men's Movement group sounded particularly troubling (other than the idea of a Male-exclusive music group seeming at least a little... odd... but i guess it has its purposes), this was far from the only eyebrow-raising thing in this book.
in fact, my very first post-it note starts us off STRONG! the very first comment i made: "male socialization ?" referring to this quote on page 74: "Another was hearing an MTF transsexual tell a room full of people that the realities of transsexualism meant that MTF people would have to 'adjust to taking lower-paying jobs, while FTMs can look forward to better employment opportunities.' I was stunned when I heard this. [...] There are male and female management styles, as well as masculine and feminine communication styles, and taking hormones doesn't instantly change one's socialization. Male socialization is often more successful in corporations where people are expected to be aggressive and competitive; people who are not raised to play male hierarchy games often unconsciously put out a signal that says, 'I'm number two.'"
for a respected trans author to so openly validate the idea of “gendered socialization”, especially in such a way that implies transfeminine people (who are typically referred to as “Male Socialized”) could actually have a privilege over transmasculine people in the workforce, is just shocking to me. it’s definitely no lie that the “masculine” traits the author mentions are heavily rewarded in certain workplaces, and some FTM people may struggle to acquire those traits as they transition. but saying that is much different from chalking it all up to one’s male or female “socialization”. and what the transfem person quoted here says definitely rings true — of course, trans men may struggle to get or hold a job if he is open about (or unable to hide) being trans, but between a trans man and a trans woman (especially between those who are of equal “passing” status (whether that be neither pass well at all but are still visibly trans, or between those who are indistinguishable to a cis person of their true gender)), there should be no doubt that the trans man would be favored. again, this doesn’t mean the trans man would never struggle due to his transsexualism, but when put against a trans woman, he would hold more privilege in this regard.
it’s very clear throughout this entire book that the author doesn’t realize that he holds privilege over trans women (or women in general), and it ruins the entire book for me. you’ll see more of this, but hey, i’m not even done with my first post-it note. there’s also this quote on page 75 about the trans women at a trans-oriented event: “They were often quite beautiful, and even those who were awkward or not as well-put-together, or who knew they would never appear as attractive as a woman as they’d like to, were deserving of compliments[...]” (emphasis mine) which is just a disgustingly rude thing to say about other people.
but wait! there’s one more quote from this post-it! on page 76: “[...] starting to advocate for a model of transness that diverged from the man-in-a-dress cliche.” to describe transfeminity like this, even if he’s only talking about the mainstream perception, is just transmisogynist. if he wants to raise awareness of trans people who are not women, he should have said that. instead, he basically separates himself from the unfortunate caricature of trans people without ever advocating for the trans women who are actually being caricaturized.
i hope with this, you understand why i was so frustrated with this book. but let’s move on, because i was frustrated with much more than just these 3 pages.
my next note comes to us from page 127: “There are some cases in which a person’s desire to change his or her sex actually is a manifestation of mental disturbance that is not gender variance, and in those cases people may be causing irreparable damage to themselves by attempting to transition”. my problem is not *exactly* with the quote, but rather the fact that no source or explanation for this seems to follow. what kinds of mental disturbance? how many people does it affect? he never tells us, and for such a dangerous idea (especially if untrue), it seems incredibly irresponsible to treat it as fact but never provide a source. it just feels like he’s spouting mainstream transphobic rhetoric in an attempt to… i don’t know, appeal to transphobic cis people by going “your fears are VALID and definitely rooted in reality, but don’t worry, that’s not ALL of us, just some of us!”
our next segment is probably our nastiest, and before i get into it, i’d like to clarify something: i do not believe in “canceling” a 70 year old for something he did as a 14 year old, nor do i want to imply anything uncouth about the author, but i want to bring attention to this section of the book because it absolutely was not written with the tact it should have been.
so, starting around page 148, the author admits to having sexually harassed another (16-year-old) child when he was 14 years old, to the point of climbing up a tree to stare through her window while she changed. “We wanted to see her undressed, and we dared each other to hide in the bushes outside her window, climb up in the branches of the bushy cypress that shielded her bedroom from the sun. I was the one who finally did it.” never does the author seem to have any remorse or shame for this horrifying act, and in fact only seems to infantilize himself in this scenario, making it seem like he just didn’t know any better: “‘Well, does she?’ Craig asked later. ‘Does she have hair on her pussy?’ ‘Yeah,’ I said, grinning like a dog. ‘She does.’ I didn’t even know what ‘pussy’ meant.” (also page 148) he may not have known what pussy meant, and he may really not have known what he had done wrong at the time. but years later, he should absolutely acknowledge just how wrong this act was, but he seems to just brush the entire thing off. (and i want to also add that this section highlights an issue with his idea of male/female socialization: he would probably claim himself to be “female socialized”, but wouldn’t this aggressive, sexual act, which was encouraged by other (cis) boys his age who allowed him to play the perpetrator and not the victim, imply a male socialization despite his female body?)
i will skip to the end of this segment, where he claims the 16-year-old girl he harassed said to him, “‘It wasn’t that you looked that hurt so much,’ she said. ‘It was that you stole that look and ran away. I always watched for you to come back, but you never did.’” (page 168) which is just… ridiculous. i’m sorry, there is no fucking way a 16-year-old girl who has been repeatedly sexually harassed for her body would say this. it feels like a disgusting, made-up fantasy, like the author is trying to reconcile with the incredibly inappropriate thing he did by concocting a world where the girl he hurt actually wanted it, wanted him to return to sexually harass her again. it doesn’t help that his takeaway from this is “[H]ow important it is to be present when a moment of intimacy is occurring.” (page 169). like “i was wrong to stare at a young girl getting naked through her window and then leaving, i should have instead stayed and made her aware that i was watching her, sexually, without her consent.” christ alive, dude.
on our next section, it will be made very clear (if it hasn’t been already) that the author has not been in real feminist circles *at least* since transitioning. he claims, on page 159, “But as society gradually accepted the idea that women could be equal human beings to men, [...] the effectiveness of that ‘blame the victim’ defense was increasingly diminished. Much of our society has redrawn the line and acknowledged that women do not, under any circumstances, deserve to be raped.” (i would like to add that this book was written over 20 years ago, so i’m sure this was even *less* true in 2003 than it is now… which is still not true for us as a society.) so he then compares rape against women to the gay panic defense (a legal defense for people who murdered or assaulted gay or transgender people, where they claim they acted impulsively out of fear of unwanted sexual advances, thus placing the blame on the injured or murdered gay/trans person) by claiming: “Consensus was more easily reached concerning the rape against women; we have yet to deal openly with sexual crimes against men.” (page 160).
this claim makes it abundantly clear that either this author has absolutely no significant women in his life, or that, if he does, he does not listen to them. there is absolutely no positive consensus for rape against women, much less so in 2003, but he seems to think everything is fine with women and everybody thinks rape is wrong so women who get raped have an easy time finding justice, unlike us men who are uniquely assaulted and get no support!
and here’s a fun tidbit of information that goes completely unmentioned here, too: TRANS WOMEN ARE THE MOST LIKELY TO BE AFFECTED BY THE TRANS PANIC DEFENSE!!! THIS ISN’T EVEN A FUCKING MALE-EXCLUSIVE PROBLEM!!! JESUS CHRIST!!!
sorry. the longer i work on this review the angrier i get because i have to see all the worst parts of this book all at once. thankfully, i don’t really have any significant post-its left to dig into, just one where he claims that cisgender gay men feel “betrayed” by gay trans men they end up attracted to, because they feel as if their “masculine domain” is being infiltrated, bringing out their “heterophobia or perhaps misogyny” (page 162) which… heterophobia. really lol. i guess at least he acknowledges gay men can be misogynistic (now acknowledge that trans men can be misogynistic! or would that feel too close to home as a misogynistic trans man?) and then another where he says “maybe i’m just lucky” due to always being supported in his trans identity by romantic/sexual partners, which, yes, is just very lucky, but also, OF FUCKING COURSE YOU’RE LUCKY, YOU WERE ABLE TO AFFORD $43,000 ($100,000+ today) TO FULLY TRANSITION IN THE COURSE OF 3 FUCKING YEARS, YOU FULLY PASS AS A MAN, YOU ARE A MAN, A WHITE MAN, OF COURSE YOU ARE FUCKING LUCKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JESUS CHRIST PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR PRIVILEGE JUST ONCE PLEASE
ok bye
January 10, 2020
Required reading for all transgender men. I don't know why I put it off for so long.
I almost don't know where to begin.
Access to the previous generations of trans men and their experiences can be tough to find, so in a way, this book represents an invaluable window into our past, but much of it still remains true to the experiences of men my age and younger.
The language can be tough to get used to. Few men use the term transsexual to describe themselves these days, although it is undeniably valid for many men from the author's generation. Still...it can be difficult to hear in a positive and affirming way. Also, the word transgendered. Not cool. But those times were different.
Reading about how men of his generation acquired medical information was fascinating. I can't imagine having to rely on mailed newsletters for information about transitioning. Also, I had no idea that there were once conferences for trans men to meet and network. I have some vague notion about Southern Comfort (I'm from metro Atlanta), but wow...I'm sort of sorry I missed that, but wouldn't trade YouTube for it.
His contributions to trans civil rights and healthcare access are impressive as well. I can see the specific places in my own transition where the author's work had a positive impact. I am so grateful for that.
Also, I attended a transgender panel discussion in 1999 and have tried to find the panelists over the years to thank them for helping me find the words I needed to express who I am. One of them is in the book, so at long last, I'll be able to do that. Priceless.
Overall, an essential read for trans men, although intellectually kind of tough going. Also a good read for allies and families, if they understand that this is more historical context than modern advice.
I almost don't know where to begin.
Access to the previous generations of trans men and their experiences can be tough to find, so in a way, this book represents an invaluable window into our past, but much of it still remains true to the experiences of men my age and younger.
The language can be tough to get used to. Few men use the term transsexual to describe themselves these days, although it is undeniably valid for many men from the author's generation. Still...it can be difficult to hear in a positive and affirming way. Also, the word transgendered. Not cool. But those times were different.
Reading about how men of his generation acquired medical information was fascinating. I can't imagine having to rely on mailed newsletters for information about transitioning. Also, I had no idea that there were once conferences for trans men to meet and network. I have some vague notion about Southern Comfort (I'm from metro Atlanta), but wow...I'm sort of sorry I missed that, but wouldn't trade YouTube for it.
His contributions to trans civil rights and healthcare access are impressive as well. I can see the specific places in my own transition where the author's work had a positive impact. I am so grateful for that.
Also, I attended a transgender panel discussion in 1999 and have tried to find the panelists over the years to thank them for helping me find the words I needed to express who I am. One of them is in the book, so at long last, I'll be able to do that. Priceless.
Overall, an essential read for trans men, although intellectually kind of tough going. Also a good read for allies and families, if they understand that this is more historical context than modern advice.
November 3, 2016
This book has a low rating from me because it was more of a how-to guide than a novel. I respect that but it was just not what I'm interested in
What I don't respect is the author's insistence that lesbians are vicious man haters who victimize men. There's many examples but the one I remember most is when he began to pass as a man and bumped into a female friend of his. This was the moment he realized how women are often scared of strange men who approach them. He claimed it was embarrassing for them both,, I somehow doubt this. Did he forget that women have it ingrained In them since birth that they should anticipate violence from men, and if they don't, they are blamed?? Why would she be embarrassed of this reaction, which is just a part of daily life for women?? I really doubt she thought twice of it
ANYWAY the book was ok ig
What I don't respect is the author's insistence that lesbians are vicious man haters who victimize men. There's many examples but the one I remember most is when he began to pass as a man and bumped into a female friend of his. This was the moment he realized how women are often scared of strange men who approach them. He claimed it was embarrassing for them both,, I somehow doubt this. Did he forget that women have it ingrained In them since birth that they should anticipate violence from men, and if they don't, they are blamed?? Why would she be embarrassed of this reaction, which is just a part of daily life for women?? I really doubt she thought twice of it
ANYWAY the book was ok ig
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 7, 2016
I came to this book to find out more about trans men, and it surpassed my hopes. If you're looking for a Trans Men 101, this book is there for you. It actually begins with a speech he typically gives to students about trans issues and quickly introduces ways of thinking about sex and gender that prove useful in the ensuing chapters.
The book is part memoir, and I really enjoyed the brief, colorful, surprising account of his life leading to, through and past his transition. He's very candid, it's very affecting.
And it's part a grab bag of other things you might want to know about if you're curious about trans men. For instance, there's a chapter or two on options for top and bottom surgery and what's involved. He became very active in activism on behalf of trans men and so there's a bit of history and first person narrative on that.
The book is part memoir, and I really enjoyed the brief, colorful, surprising account of his life leading to, through and past his transition. He's very candid, it's very affecting.
And it's part a grab bag of other things you might want to know about if you're curious about trans men. For instance, there's a chapter or two on options for top and bottom surgery and what's involved. He became very active in activism on behalf of trans men and so there's a bit of history and first person narrative on that.
June 16, 2021
Excellent. A really informative story about FTM transition. It's really good to read about all aspects of his story: personal, physical, professional.
What I really responded to was the tone. It was personal and vulnerable, without being focused only on his own feelings. Not saying an author shouldn't focus on their feelings; just that the tone of his writing is unique to me. Some autobiographies can be completely self centered, and it was refreshing to read someone with so much perspective. Perspective on the world, other people's experiences, points of view etc. There was no "why me?" or whining that I feel some autobiographies have.
It's really interesting (reading this in 2021) to see how the FTM community started, and how it's changed over the decades.
What I really responded to was the tone. It was personal and vulnerable, without being focused only on his own feelings. Not saying an author shouldn't focus on their feelings; just that the tone of his writing is unique to me. Some autobiographies can be completely self centered, and it was refreshing to read someone with so much perspective. Perspective on the world, other people's experiences, points of view etc. There was no "why me?" or whining that I feel some autobiographies have.
It's really interesting (reading this in 2021) to see how the FTM community started, and how it's changed over the decades.
June 2, 2012
Green does an admirable job of attempting to blend queer studies, social critique, and his own memoir, and the result is a very compelling book. I loved the more critical/academic side of the book, Green's deep and thoughtful analysis of gender, sex, and identity. I wish that the memoir itself had been more compelling. It feels, somehow, less present than the critical material. What is there is good, but I finished the book wanting more of a synthesis between critique and memoir.
July 2, 2011
Less a personal narrative (although Green does tell his own personal story) than a complete treatise on FTM issues, from the personal to the political, Becoming a Visible man is both packed with information and very readable.
June 11, 2025
Real Rating: 4.5* of five
The Publisher Says: In a clear and logical style, Becoming a Visible Man tackles the history, biology, medicine, philosophy, and politics that claim to define and control gender in the US.
Profoundly personal and eminently practical, Jamison Green clarifies transgender experience for transgender people and their families, friends, and co-workers. Medical and mental healthcare providers, educators at every level, business leaders, and advocates seeking information about transgender concerns can all gain from Green's integrative approach to the topic. This book candidly addresses the emotional relationships that are impacted by a transgender transition, and brings refined integrity to the struggle to self-define, whether one undergoes a transition or chooses not to.
Emphasizing the lives of transgender men (who are often overlooked) he elucidates the experience of masculinity in a way that is self-assured and comforting, not demanding or threatening. Self-acceptance and health are always at the core of his message. Green's inspirational wisdom has informed and empowered thousands of readers with knowledge and compassion. There is still no other book like it in the transgender library.
I RECEIVED A DRC FROM THE PUBLISHER VIA EDELWEISS+. THANK YOU.
My Review: Most people are profoundly unaware of the entire experience of being outside the gender binary in a world totally predicated on it. I was one, until I wasn't anymore, and like the "eww-ick" homophobes I've known and known of over the years, I had no idea how my ignorance would come across to the trans people I knew and know.
It is worth an empathetic look into the lived experience of the people you're Othering.
This is the second edition of a book now twenty years old. It helps to understand that; it helps to know that, while some things have changed, more have not...or have not for the better. Reading Author Green's personal story of knowing he was a man yet having the body of a woman is deeply moving. It is important to learn this from a person whose gender dysphoria was severe enough that the long, complicated road to gender-affirming treatment was the best option. For anyone who thinks this is a simple thing, read this book.
A lot of Author Green's impact on the conversation around trans issues stems from being willing to educate others about the topic. This is very much a book aiming to teach...at times a bit too determinedly so, hence that missing half-star. It can feel overwhelming. It has taken me literal years to read the book. It is, for me, an occasion of deep shame to realize how in my ignorance I was insensitive to my trans siblings. So learning the parameters of the experience of being trans has been a difficult reckoning, a hard catharsis, and a reason to look deep inside myself.
I know many are now looking at this and shuddering, thinking "no thanks." I would have as well. I did, apart from small bursts, for a long time. Not greatly to my credit I've chosen the first Pride Month of the Felonious Yam's second regime to finish and review it.
If you're having trouble seeing how this can even be a thing, try this analogy I found in the book. I'm paraphrasing here but: biosex is the hardware; cultural gender roles are the software; one's internal gender identity is the operating system that communicates between them and is the "user interface."
It's hugely helpful to me to have a simile to turn to for deeper understanding. What this does is offer a way in to "getting" how issues can arise in any of these ways of existing in the world. It also acts as a powerful reminder that there is not one single way to be literally anything in this world. All of life is in spectrums. We're educated in the US...in the religious-nut-capitalist world more generally...to see binaries, of which there are few. They're very comforting for lazy or stupid people but if science has taught us nothing else it's taught us that comfort is only bought at the exorbitant price of ignorance.
The annotated bibliography is quite something. The idea of all these sources existing in spite of every attempt to silence or disappear them by the screaming bigots is impressive. It also helps explain the screaming bigots' urgency in erasing us all. Information leads people to learning, and the habit of mind we call learning is the most potent weapon against the unreasoning hatred that is required for fascism and authoritarians to rule.
Resist them. Learn about the facts of transness from someone who lives it, and is willing to teach you when you're ready to be taught.
The Publisher Says: In a clear and logical style, Becoming a Visible Man tackles the history, biology, medicine, philosophy, and politics that claim to define and control gender in the US.
Profoundly personal and eminently practical, Jamison Green clarifies transgender experience for transgender people and their families, friends, and co-workers. Medical and mental healthcare providers, educators at every level, business leaders, and advocates seeking information about transgender concerns can all gain from Green's integrative approach to the topic. This book candidly addresses the emotional relationships that are impacted by a transgender transition, and brings refined integrity to the struggle to self-define, whether one undergoes a transition or chooses not to.
Emphasizing the lives of transgender men (who are often overlooked) he elucidates the experience of masculinity in a way that is self-assured and comforting, not demanding or threatening. Self-acceptance and health are always at the core of his message. Green's inspirational wisdom has informed and empowered thousands of readers with knowledge and compassion. There is still no other book like it in the transgender library.
I RECEIVED A DRC FROM THE PUBLISHER VIA EDELWEISS+. THANK YOU.
My Review: Most people are profoundly unaware of the entire experience of being outside the gender binary in a world totally predicated on it. I was one, until I wasn't anymore, and like the "eww-ick" homophobes I've known and known of over the years, I had no idea how my ignorance would come across to the trans people I knew and know.
It is worth an empathetic look into the lived experience of the people you're Othering.
This is the second edition of a book now twenty years old. It helps to understand that; it helps to know that, while some things have changed, more have not...or have not for the better. Reading Author Green's personal story of knowing he was a man yet having the body of a woman is deeply moving. It is important to learn this from a person whose gender dysphoria was severe enough that the long, complicated road to gender-affirming treatment was the best option. For anyone who thinks this is a simple thing, read this book.
A lot of Author Green's impact on the conversation around trans issues stems from being willing to educate others about the topic. This is very much a book aiming to teach...at times a bit too determinedly so, hence that missing half-star. It can feel overwhelming. It has taken me literal years to read the book. It is, for me, an occasion of deep shame to realize how in my ignorance I was insensitive to my trans siblings. So learning the parameters of the experience of being trans has been a difficult reckoning, a hard catharsis, and a reason to look deep inside myself.
I know many are now looking at this and shuddering, thinking "no thanks." I would have as well. I did, apart from small bursts, for a long time. Not greatly to my credit I've chosen the first Pride Month of the Felonious Yam's second regime to finish and review it.
If you're having trouble seeing how this can even be a thing, try this analogy I found in the book. I'm paraphrasing here but: biosex is the hardware; cultural gender roles are the software; one's internal gender identity is the operating system that communicates between them and is the "user interface."
It's hugely helpful to me to have a simile to turn to for deeper understanding. What this does is offer a way in to "getting" how issues can arise in any of these ways of existing in the world. It also acts as a powerful reminder that there is not one single way to be literally anything in this world. All of life is in spectrums. We're educated in the US...in the religious-nut-capitalist world more generally...to see binaries, of which there are few. They're very comforting for lazy or stupid people but if science has taught us nothing else it's taught us that comfort is only bought at the exorbitant price of ignorance.
The annotated bibliography is quite something. The idea of all these sources existing in spite of every attempt to silence or disappear them by the screaming bigots is impressive. It also helps explain the screaming bigots' urgency in erasing us all. Information leads people to learning, and the habit of mind we call learning is the most potent weapon against the unreasoning hatred that is required for fascism and authoritarians to rule.
Resist them. Learn about the facts of transness from someone who lives it, and is willing to teach you when you're ready to be taught.
December 14, 2021
To see more reviews check out MI Book Reviews.
This is a book that I have been looking forward to reading for years. I never had the money to pick up a copy when I went to a bookstore, but I finally found it in a library. This book did not live up to the hype I had created for it, but it was not a terrible book in the slightest. This book gave a really in-depth history of the trans male movement to get recognition and to become visible as men. Much of this history was new to me despite being an activist and a trans educator which was surprising and made me really respect the author.
However, I did not like that “transgendered” made hundreds of appearances in the book (I really hate this grammatical mistake). Transgender is the term that worked throughout the book, but using the past tense just irked me throughout so I was unable to enjoy it as much as I could have otherwise.
My other issue is that it felt that the author was just name dropping during certain chapters. Many of the people he lists by full name (meaning that their name isn’t changed) are famous in the trans world and it felt like he mentioned most of them just to show that he knew them. Many of his points would have been served with mentioning the men involved and not worrying about people that weren’t involved, but I can see why he did as it opened up a new world of trans activists that otherwise people may not have known about, but for the people who did know them it became redundant.
I am a huge fan of standpoint theory writing and writing of that nature so this book was an easy read for me (outside of the two issues I mentioned above). It was a quick read that left me feeling like I knew something about the author and a great deal more about the FtM community than I did before. Not once did I feel like the author was bashing me with information or assuming I was uninformed. The author is a great writer that is able to portray a bunch of information in a way that doesn’t scare off a reader, but instead lets the reader feel like they are being let into a world they may not otherwise see. So if you like standpoint theory, history, or memoir then this book is for you. I highly recommend it for people that are trying to understand a FtM as it goes into answering the questions that people who are not transgender or transsexual usually ask that are invasive.
This is a book that I have been looking forward to reading for years. I never had the money to pick up a copy when I went to a bookstore, but I finally found it in a library. This book did not live up to the hype I had created for it, but it was not a terrible book in the slightest. This book gave a really in-depth history of the trans male movement to get recognition and to become visible as men. Much of this history was new to me despite being an activist and a trans educator which was surprising and made me really respect the author.
However, I did not like that “transgendered” made hundreds of appearances in the book (I really hate this grammatical mistake). Transgender is the term that worked throughout the book, but using the past tense just irked me throughout so I was unable to enjoy it as much as I could have otherwise.
My other issue is that it felt that the author was just name dropping during certain chapters. Many of the people he lists by full name (meaning that their name isn’t changed) are famous in the trans world and it felt like he mentioned most of them just to show that he knew them. Many of his points would have been served with mentioning the men involved and not worrying about people that weren’t involved, but I can see why he did as it opened up a new world of trans activists that otherwise people may not have known about, but for the people who did know them it became redundant.
I am a huge fan of standpoint theory writing and writing of that nature so this book was an easy read for me (outside of the two issues I mentioned above). It was a quick read that left me feeling like I knew something about the author and a great deal more about the FtM community than I did before. Not once did I feel like the author was bashing me with information or assuming I was uninformed. The author is a great writer that is able to portray a bunch of information in a way that doesn’t scare off a reader, but instead lets the reader feel like they are being let into a world they may not otherwise see. So if you like standpoint theory, history, or memoir then this book is for you. I highly recommend it for people that are trying to understand a FtM as it goes into answering the questions that people who are not transgender or transsexual usually ask that are invasive.
March 7, 2024
“I needed to understand what it would mean — really mean — to change places: what responsibility would I have for maintaining or deconstructing traditional gender roles once I transitioned?”
I have had this book on my TBR for a few years now, I picked it up from the library as part of my journey to try and grapple with what masculinity means to me and for my as I navigate my transition. I am very grateful for the wisdom of trans elders, and for the groundwork that was laid that makes my life possible now.
I thought it was so interesting to read about how trans communities found each other and interacted with each other, and how much that has changed since this book came out. There were a few moments where my first thought after reading something really good was whether folks in the ftm subreddit or the ftm chicago Facebook groups had talked about this before and that I should see what discussions had already been had.
I did read the version published in 2003, as that is what was available at the library and the language was very dated, but that is to be expected. I did see someone else’s review saying that the rereleased version from a few years back did have updated language and I would have loved to see what changes were made. I am trying to hold both that the language used here was important and impactful at the time, while at the same time it felt very uncomfortable to read today.
More than anything, I really appreciated the in depth discussions about what masculinity has meant for trans men, and how we as a community have both found space in traditional masculinity, but also created space for a new masculinity. I loved the experiences Jamison shared about his men’s groups, both with cis and trans men, and the way that a tender and gentle masculinity was explored. As I continue to grapple with what it means to be a man, I am grateful for the experiences of the men who have been doing this work for decades, and can offer wisdom.
“Being a man is more than looking like one. It requires knowing what is expected of a man, and choosing how to go about meeting or not meeting those expectations at any given moment.”
I have had this book on my TBR for a few years now, I picked it up from the library as part of my journey to try and grapple with what masculinity means to me and for my as I navigate my transition. I am very grateful for the wisdom of trans elders, and for the groundwork that was laid that makes my life possible now.
I thought it was so interesting to read about how trans communities found each other and interacted with each other, and how much that has changed since this book came out. There were a few moments where my first thought after reading something really good was whether folks in the ftm subreddit or the ftm chicago Facebook groups had talked about this before and that I should see what discussions had already been had.
I did read the version published in 2003, as that is what was available at the library and the language was very dated, but that is to be expected. I did see someone else’s review saying that the rereleased version from a few years back did have updated language and I would have loved to see what changes were made. I am trying to hold both that the language used here was important and impactful at the time, while at the same time it felt very uncomfortable to read today.
More than anything, I really appreciated the in depth discussions about what masculinity has meant for trans men, and how we as a community have both found space in traditional masculinity, but also created space for a new masculinity. I loved the experiences Jamison shared about his men’s groups, both with cis and trans men, and the way that a tender and gentle masculinity was explored. As I continue to grapple with what it means to be a man, I am grateful for the experiences of the men who have been doing this work for decades, and can offer wisdom.
“Being a man is more than looking like one. It requires knowing what is expected of a man, and choosing how to go about meeting or not meeting those expectations at any given moment.”
January 19, 2025
I wanted to enjoy this book a lot more than I did. The first chapter felt promising, I chuckled and related to "the students had sometimes been told that a transsexual was going to speak to their class, and then when I showed up many were disappointed, thinking the transsexual hadn't shown up after all..." (roughly paraphrased).
There wasn't much about his trans experience that I could relate to as a transmasc person (which was a bummer, but unsurprising, since trans narratives and histories are so complex - it's cool just to know about our elders) but every time he talked about his boyhood, particularly the way he described early experiences of desire and a burgeoning sexuality with boys his age....like climbing a tree to peep on a neighborhood girl undress...I actually think its great and 'brave' (lol) that he wrote about it because it's gross, but it is honest and I think we need to to talk about these kind of early sexuality experiences openly -- but to accompany it with no analysis regarding the misogyny, the violation. Importantly it was a missed opportunity to explore the nuances of cross-gender socializaton- ie. acting stereotypically 'one of the boys' for social approval, the complexities of transmasc/male girlhoods and boyhoods...but instead we are are abruptly moved right on to discussion of his sexual desires and his bodily dysphoria. meh
There wasn't much about his trans experience that I could relate to as a transmasc person (which was a bummer, but unsurprising, since trans narratives and histories are so complex - it's cool just to know about our elders) but every time he talked about his boyhood, particularly the way he described early experiences of desire and a burgeoning sexuality with boys his age....like climbing a tree to peep on a neighborhood girl undress...I actually think its great and 'brave' (lol) that he wrote about it because it's gross, but it is honest and I think we need to to talk about these kind of early sexuality experiences openly -- but to accompany it with no analysis regarding the misogyny, the violation. Importantly it was a missed opportunity to explore the nuances of cross-gender socializaton- ie. acting stereotypically 'one of the boys' for social approval, the complexities of transmasc/male girlhoods and boyhoods...but instead we are are abruptly moved right on to discussion of his sexual desires and his bodily dysphoria. meh
February 14, 2024
As a parent to a teen trans boy, this book was brilliant to read. I’ve read a handful of books so far in the 4yr journey we’ve had so far of social transition, but I wanted to get my head around medical transition and the complexities around it.
I can say this book really answered many of my questions, challenged some of my beliefs and helped me to continue on the path of supporting my son to be who he is.
Jamie, I appreciate you walking us through your own childhood and journey of coming to an understanding of your own sexuality and gender which took time, especially given it was navigated in a time of much less understanding than now. I am thankful how far society has come, but at the same time I know there is still stigma and much to push back against and change so our children (and adults) can be free to live true to themselves.
Thank you so much for putting this book out there to help others in their own education. My son is looking forward to reading it too!
I can say this book really answered many of my questions, challenged some of my beliefs and helped me to continue on the path of supporting my son to be who he is.
Jamie, I appreciate you walking us through your own childhood and journey of coming to an understanding of your own sexuality and gender which took time, especially given it was navigated in a time of much less understanding than now. I am thankful how far society has come, but at the same time I know there is still stigma and much to push back against and change so our children (and adults) can be free to live true to themselves.
Thank you so much for putting this book out there to help others in their own education. My son is looking forward to reading it too!
April 12, 2024
Fantastic read
This book expertly interweaves a memoir with history and facts about a man becoming seen as a man by society, and his friends and loved ones. We experience his emotional and internal journey, and he discussed in detail the many aspects of transition that most of us are unaware of. I went in an ally and I came out better educated and better understanding. Jamison Green is an amazing human who has generously given very much of his life to educate other people, gently and respectfully, and to better the world, to be a place where we are all more accepting and understanding of others different from ourselves. This book is accessible and interesting, and could be read by anyone. Should be read by everyone.
This book expertly interweaves a memoir with history and facts about a man becoming seen as a man by society, and his friends and loved ones. We experience his emotional and internal journey, and he discussed in detail the many aspects of transition that most of us are unaware of. I went in an ally and I came out better educated and better understanding. Jamison Green is an amazing human who has generously given very much of his life to educate other people, gently and respectfully, and to better the world, to be a place where we are all more accepting and understanding of others different from ourselves. This book is accessible and interesting, and could be read by anyone. Should be read by everyone.
December 23, 2020
This book is really, very good at the beginning and at the end. I completely disagree with all the comments who say that this is FtM 101. This is about 1/3 memoir, 1/3 activism, and 1/3 penis intellectualization.
It definitely reads like it's intended for both (as Green would say) transsexual and non-transsexual audiences. He grapples with the desire to be a leader among men who comfortable with who he is, but is obviously not. He's as confused but resolute as the rest of us.
The only warning is that he definitely goes on about his ultimate-unclockable-ness. Give it a go.
It definitely reads like it's intended for both (as Green would say) transsexual and non-transsexual audiences. He grapples with the desire to be a leader among men who comfortable with who he is, but is obviously not. He's as confused but resolute as the rest of us.
The only warning is that he definitely goes on about his ultimate-unclockable-ness. Give it a go.
December 14, 2024
Nonfiction book about trans men told largely as a memoir. There’s outdated language (transsexual is the main term the book uses for trans people) but for a book originally written in 2004 this is surprisingly progressive. It’s an interesting snapshot into trans experience and activism in San Francisco in the 90’s and we have Green to thank for many of the more inclusive updates to WPATH’s guidelines for transgender healthcare. By and large I enjoyed this but it could get a bit repetitive and the chapter on sexuality was TMI about the author’s personal sex life.
did-not-finish
August 14, 2020DNF @ 61% Page 141
It's been 8 months since I last picked this up, it's time to let it go. While the journey Jamison went on was an important and interesting one it kept making me feel defeated. He lived a hard life and it's hard to read about that. I have so many highlighted quotes from this book though.
It's been 8 months since I last picked this up, it's time to let it go. While the journey Jamison went on was an important and interesting one it kept making me feel defeated. He lived a hard life and it's hard to read about that. I have so many highlighted quotes from this book though.
January 2, 2021
This book is as real as it gets, including narratives ranging from the challenges faced due to the female-to-male transsexual experience, the strained relationships with family and the prejudices faced consequently to the realities of sex reassignment surgeries. It is a personal, honest and thoughtful eyeopener for everyone, irrespective of what one identifies as.
February 24, 2021
I got my hands on the version that's nearly 20 years old, but even still, this book is amazing. Jamison Green's journey with his transition is inspiring, touching, heartwrenching, and extremely relatable in so many ways. Its hard to live in this world as a visible man. Jamison Green helps us understand why it's so, so worth it.
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