Resistance: A Songwriter's Story of Hope, Change, and Courage

by Tori Amos

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLERA timely and passionate call to action for engaging with our current political moment, from the Grammy-nominated and multiplatinum singer-songwriter and New York Times bestselling author Tori Amos.Since the release of her first, career-defining solo album Little Earthquakes, Tori Amos has been one of the music industry’s most enduring and ingenious artists. From her unnerving depiction of sexual assault in “Me and a Gun” to her post-9/11 album, Scarlet’s Walk, to 2017’s Native Invader, her work has never shied away from intermingling the personal with the political.From her time as a teenager playing hotel bars in Washington, DC, for the politically powerful to the subsequent three decades of her formidable music career, Amos explains how she managed to create meaningful, politically resonant work against patriarchal power structures—and how her proud declarations of feminism and her fight for the marginalized always proved to be her guiding light. She teaches us to engage with intention in this tumultuous global climate and speaks directly to supporters of #MeToo and Time’s Up, as well as young people fighting for their rights and visibility in the world.Filled with compassionate guidance and actionable advice—and using some of the most powerful, political songs in Amos’s canon—Resistance is for anyone determined to steer the world back in the right direction.

Genres: Nonfiction, Music, Memoir, Audiobook, Biography, Feminism, Politics

268 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 5, 2020

About the author

Tori Amos (born Myra Ellen Amos) is an American pianist and singer-songwriter. She is married to English sound engineer Mark Hawley. Together they have one child, Natashya "Tash" Lórien Hawley, born on September 5, 2000.

Amos was at the forefront of a number of female singer-songwriters in the early 1990s and was noteworthy early in her career as one of the few pop performers to use a piano as her primary instrument. She is known for emotionally intense songs that cover a wide range of subjects including sexuality, religion and personal tragedy. Some of her charting singles include "Crucify", "Silent All These Years", "Cornflake Girl", "Caught a Lite Sneeze", "Professional Widow", "Spark", and "A Sorta Fairytale".

Amos had sold 12 million records worldwide as of 2005 and has also enjoyed a large cult following. Having a history of making eccentric and at times ribald comments during concerts and interviews, she has earned a reputation for being highly idiosyncratic. As a social commentator and sometimes activist, some of the topics she has been most vocal about include feminism, religion, and sexuality.

Reviews

[Jaidee · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 "primordial, humanitarian, at times a bit grandiose" stars !!

9th Favorite Read of 2022 Award

Thank you to Netgalley, Tori Amos and Atria Books. This was released May 2020. I am providing my honest review.

Tori Amos has been in my life, in the background since my early twenties. To begin I want to link you to my favorite Tori song...a song not talked about in this book but for me that was healing and continues to be played frequently in our home.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pEfC...

That song was played one night when I was twenty (1991) after having been abandoned by my unhappily married lover. I went to my favorite lesbian haunt where two very kind women took me under their wing and brought me home and introduced me to Tori's album Little Earthquakes. An evening of wine, clove cigarettes and lovemaking started to heal my wretched heart. When this song came on....we listened to it about twenty times until my sobbing heart was soothed. Tori was often played at the feminist and queer organizations I volunteered at and I was able to witness her three times in concert where this piano chanteuse let loose and unleashed such longing and ferocity within me. She never was in my pantheon of goddesses but definitely has made a significant impact on me over the years.

In this book, Tori explores her political beliefs, her artistry, her ancestry, her spirituality. What came out loud and strong for me here is that Tori is a powerful Intuitive, a musical mystic and a conduit for immense artistry. I sometimes disagree with her but I have a firm belief in her decency, her genuineness and her genius. She talks about playing for powerful political men in piano bars in her teens, female genital mutilation, sexual assaults, connects to the natural and divine worlds. She talks about her love of the piano, her connections to Christian and more universal spiritual forces, her connection to her Muses, female solidarity and the love she has for her husband and son. She has an immense respect for others and sometimes an inflated sense of her own influence on world events. I realized that I sometimes avoided Tori for she looks injustice in the face...sometimes with words and sometimes with harsh piano chords. I am not courageous like Tori and I want to drown myself in Puccini, or dance to Kylie Minogue or cry with Dusty Springfield. Tori though remains in the background of my life and I suspect that she would be just fine with that....

Thank you Tori for being a person of principles, a person of substance, a person of respect and being a part of my own personal story....

[Tanya · Rating 4 out of 5]

I should preface this by saying that Tori Amos' soul-stirring music has been a constant in my life for over half of it. I've seen her live in the double digits, all over the world, and forged wonderful friendships through her art, so me not enjoying this sophomore book-writing effort was never really an option, but I'm still surprised at how much I relished it. Each chapter in Resistance relates to a song in Tori's catalogue, so I created a playlist (it would make one hell of a setlist—it has a nice flow, with some surprising transitions) to listen to as I read, and finished the book in a single sitting.

Tori has always subscribed to the feminist notion that the personal is political, and she highlights this time and time again in this memoir and political opinion piece hybrid. By weaving personal anecdotes into American political history, she shines a light on the wide societal shifts she's lived through and experienced first-hand over her decade-spanning career. However, her main motivation for writing Resistance at this very specific point in time—she calls it "a moment of unprecedented crisis"—is to offer an honest glimpse of her journey as an artist, and her inspiration and creative process, because above all else, she believes that artists play a vital role in a society: Art calls out, holds those in power accountable, gives a voice to those who feel alone, and offers both resilience in the face of hardship, as well as healing.

The songs chosen cover every album in her back-catalogue (except Y Kant Tori Read, Strange Little Girls, and Midwinter Graces, which she however touches on in different ways), and serve as a framing device for her thoughts. Most of the time they are very clearly related to what she writes about, while sometimes they fit in in a more abstract, emotional, free-association kind of way—this can be something so slight as a particular turn of phrase, or a metaphor she went with in the preceding chapter. Some of the songs are presented within the original scope they were written in, while with others it's clear that they have taken on a different meaning over the years; she's always been very adamant about the fact that her song girls have a life of their own and are constantly changing and evolving.

"Sights and sounds pull me back down another year... I was here. I was here."

Resistance opens with Gold Dust, a song which transports Tori back through the decades, and with its help she paints a vivid picture of playing piano bars and congressional parties in Washington D.C. during both Democratic and Republican administrations. The songs aren't presented chronologically, and the book's structure doesn't follow any such order either; it's all rather conversational, and she goes off on tangents, with skips ahead or back in time, following her own thread of thoughts. Sometimes these leaps work exceptionally well, and the songs act as useful bridges, while other times the sudden changes of subject matter might leave the reader a little confused as to how we got there. It bears some structural similarities to the first memoir Piece By Piece, in that the songs are woven into the book to give it direction, but it's much more cohesive and coherent as a whole. The writing is very Tori; authentic, sharp, evocative, endearingly kooky in places, a little messy.

"I had yet to prove myself, to prove the piano was ready to carve a new place for herself in a snob-ridden pop culture playing for sinners—me being one—sweating out the demons with my left heel on the sustain pedal, singing for salvation, a sonic daughter of Jezebel with my right hip open to a southern church revival."

From the D.C. piano bars, Tori takes us on a political journey through time, touching on the JFK assassination, Iran hostage crisis, Lewinsky scandal, 9/11, Anita Hill and the Time's Up and #MeToo movements, the rising global trend of right-wing dictatorships and economic aristocracy, and the shared trauma of the Trump presidency. All of this she weaves into her artistic timeline, creating a blend of personal narrative and political observations from a songwriter's point of view. We not only get to know Tori and her views better through this memoir, but also her loved ones, especially her mother Mary, whom she lost while Resistance was being written. Those final chapters unflinchingly open a window into Tori's grief, and they feel out of place with the mostly political slant of the book—clearly unplanned, and worked in as the project was already ongoing—yet they are beautiful, poignant, and heart-wrenching.

If there's one detractor to the way the book is structured, it's that it starts out with having each song introduce the following chapter, but halfway through it flips around, and then reverts back to the original structure again towards the end. Those middle chapters are also the ones that feel most messy and rushed; the originally leaked working title had been "An Artistic Resistance: A Blueprint for Change in 20 Songs", but there's a dozen more in the final version. I strongly feel that the "Artistic" should've been kept, and overall, the book might've flowed better if it hadn't been expanded, retaining only the most pertinent songs; I'm still a little baffled by some of the choices, especially while more obvious candidates weren't included (Virginia, Broken Arrow, and Dark Side of the Sun are the most glaring omissions) over other songs where the connection seemed a bit forced. There were also some hard cuts and odd, sudden transitions; for instance, she goes from three chapters on 9/11 to one on Dr. Blasey Ford and one on female genital mutilation, before tying back to the 9/11 aftermath, which was quite the roller coaster. I would've moved some chapters around and arranged them differently (although that FGM chapter would feel out of place anywhere in the book!).

My complaints are minor though; this is a worthy, timely (albeit very US-centric) effort that will speak to different people in different ways; it's however definitely something for the already-fans, and not those in the making—I'm skeptical of its potential of transcending her established audience. Anyone who turns to music and art in general to find solace in difficult times would however feel understood and comforted, and musicians in particular would find the advice and insight dispensed by someone who has been writing songs and spent as much time in the industry as she has especially valuable. Tori has a unique gift for quiet observation and distilling some of the most intangible emotions into a sonic form with a myriad of possible interpretations; it's why her music touches so many people, and why her following, while not the largest, is certainly among the most loyal and devoted of any living artist. Resistance is powerful, active, and needed, now more than ever. Tori pleads with us to pull ourselves out of the "looking for a savior"-syndrome and do our part: We have to climb out of the belly of the beast ourselves, together, by striving to be the very best molecular machines we can be.

—————

Note: I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Vivian · Rating 4 out of 5]

Collective trauma is its own energy.

Doesn't that just describe the here and now. 
When I was in college a friend dragged me along to see Tori Amos in concert--Thanks, Todd. It was a small venue so we were pretty close. There are passionate performers, and I have to admit that Amos was so intense that I almost couldn't handle it. The energy vibrated off of her and across the audience. She's a brilliant pianist. Don't believe me, she was accepted into the Peabody Conservatory at age five.

This book is a primer for artists. Amos explores the trajectory of an artist's life from the springboards to the stumbling blocks. How to keep going when you get lost and demotivated. Most of all, how life affects and inspires art creation.

The young artist's journey is made up of a number of components, not least the ways they see older people act when it comes to issues of morality and accountability.

 
Just as a gay bar may have been the safest place for a thirteen-year-old girl, a hotel bar near the White House was the most revealing place for a teenage girl to bear witness to the wheeling and dealing of supposedly moral men, some of whom were laying the groundwork for a compromised future.
 

It is a different game that must be played when you are on the bottom of the music business food chain.

Tori Amos's songs are political and deeply emotional, viscerally so. She is not Pop music, she is subversive. She takes her work to be art and art is disruptive. This book is part autobiography, but the primary focus is how her history helped create her art.

The goal is to make each night a collaborative statement that cannot be erased because the set list is a time capsule in itself and tells me everything I need to remember about that day. Sound check does not begin until around 4:30 p.m., so the set list probably is not decided until 7:00 for an 8:20 curtain.

In essence, this book is a pep talk, a straight-shooting 'this is how I do it' exemplar for artists. Amos outlines pit falls, lies we tell ourselves, and coping mechanisms and strategies.

Which one of my flaws has gotten out of the back seat and is now driving the car? When a flaw starts driving the car, your alarm bells need to start ringing.


Improvisation might not seem like a survival tactic, but it was mine. This is when the skill of turning musical themes I had been hearing over the week into variations on those themes came into being. It was imperative that Dad believe that the Rolling Stones' songs or any other "devil music" was not what I was playing--not only because it could pervert a young mind like mine, but he had to believe I was practicing what the Peabody had assigned.

 
And in case you're wondering where Tori Amos falls ideologically:

[Post 9/11: ]Someone at a radio station showed me a list of banned records, that is, songs that could not be played on air in light of the tragedy. It didn't surprise me that songs with the words "airplane," "fire," and "crash" in the title were on the list. But then I saw one word.
Imagine.
The radio guy said to me, "Can you believe those clowns banned 'Imagine'?"
My response to him was, "Yes, I can actually believe that the Hawks would want to ban 'Imagine.' They banned it because songs can be dangerous. And the ideology of 'Imagine' is everything that they do not want the masses to remember."


Over the years, Russians have confided in me how they defend themselves against this dark art of information warfare and one of its deadly symptoms--demotivation. Literally, the Russian people defend and armor themselves with art.

And this is a perfect definition for art and respecting the audience. After all, art is a form of communication; you can't tell someone how to answer. 

Once a song leaves my lair, it will form relationships that I have no control over and really should not want to have control over.

A bunch of authors could learn from this. 

I liked the insights in to Tori Amos' process of creating and the absolute dedication to the playlist being adjusted for each audience and day to be the conversation that she wants to have with that audience.

[Bradley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Back in the dark ages, I became an obsessed fan of Tori and went to two of her concerts. One was a tight little audience where we could see her close up and playing like MAD on two boards, her body a livewire as she poured all her energy, her life, into her music. If I hadn't seen her go through that, I still would have been a massive emotionally invested fan, but after the Pele tour, I became an uberfan. The second was a full stadium for Choirgirl. It was great but nothing could beat my first experience.

I had spent hundreds of listening hours trying to figure out the lyrics of all her albums. I thought I got pretty close.

It turns out, after reading her latest book, part autobiography, part creative resistance, part history and politics, I may not have been THAT close. But she herself explained why she pulled back to let most of her listeners make up their own minds. Good or bad or just another layer, I think that's great, but now that I understand what was really behind Cornflake Girl or Jackie's Strength, my understanding reached a new intensity.

Reading about how and what she went through for her tours, for each of her gigs, and how she tailored EVERY SINGLE GIG, on the fly, to match the needs of her audience, I shouldn't be all that surprised. All the best do that, don't they? But when I remember the two concerts I saw her at, to think that she never once slid, no matter what else was going on in her life, be it grieving or rage at injustice or anything, and gave less than her very best (and believe me, it's VERY good,) I have nothing but the utmost respect.

And those lyrics? Her real explanations for them are truly emotional and harrowing and sometimes uplifting. Getting the lowdown on those are actually mind-boggling. FGM, for one. Or the Kennedy assassination.


As for recommending this book to anyone, let me spell this out:

It might be confusing unless you are a fan of Tori, because she's not only brilliant, she's got that spark that sends her thoughts in strange directions. This is not only a musical book, but a very much political one. It came out in 2020 when the world was watching the lies and liars take over the media and she gave us her own horrific recollections of history as it unfolded. Spoilers: she's not a fan of MAGA or W or Koch. That's fair. Neither am I.

This is a hybrid autobiographical book. Its all these things I've mentioned -- and it's also a call of arms to all artists to KEEP ON USING YOUR ART to create rather than to destroy.

As a freeform artistic expression, I think this book is all kinds of awesome, but like her music, you need to fall into it to really enjoy it. :)

[Theresa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've been a fan of Tori Amos since "To Venus and Back" (circa 1999). I love everything she stands for. I love her strength, her honesty, and her resilience. Her music helped me when I was teenager when I was battling anxiety and depression. Her ethereal voice and cryptic lyrics became like a lifeline for me during these turbulent years. She is a musical prodigy after all. I appreciate her raising awareness through her RAINN hotline, and always fighting for the underdog.

I'm an honest person so even though I love Tori as a songwriter, I don't think this was a well written memoir. The problem I had with "Resistance" is Tori's confusing prose and tone. When she starts talking about her songwriting process, (she calls them her muses) this where she loses me as a reader. Tori has always been too smart for her own good, but the way she writes comes off a little pretentious. She's also very eccentric, which isn't a bad thing but I don't think her overall message/intentions are coming in loud and clear. She talks in circles and I found it difficult to keep up with the way she expresses herself. I felt like she jumped around too much from one topic to another.

I will always love and admire Tori, but I can't give her a glowing review just because I'm a fan of her music. With that being said, I did enjoy her first memoir, "Piece by Piece" much better. It was more cohesive and intriguing. There were some touching moments in "Resistance" when she talks about her unconditional love for her parents. I also enjoyed reading about when she started performing in piano bars as a teenager, and her candidness about the political landscape in America, past, present, and future.

Thank you, Netgalley and Atria for the digital ARC.

Release date: May 5, 2020

[Tess · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tori Amos’ stirring, hopeful, and heart wrenching RESISTANCE is the book I both know I have always been waiting for, and a welcome surprise. I should state that Amos has been my favorite musician since the 8th grade, and I have closed followed her career since first hearing Jackie’s Strength on the radio and remember being so moved that I knew my life would never be the same. I am eternally grateful to Atria Books for giving me an advanced reader’s copy of my most anticipated book of 2020. As soon as I was sent it, I immediately opened it savored every page (though it ended up taking me only 2 days to devour!)

The book is framed by lyrics of her songs spanning her 3-decade career making albums. The songs she chose are poignant, political, and often emotional. She frames her thoughts about the history of this country’s politics, her grief, her travels through the south, feminism, 9/11 & the Iraq war, and what it means to be an artist around these timeless songs. Her writing is at once sharp and beautiful, much like her music. Amos is clearly an observer of the world, and can masterfully mix magical potions of both the personal and the political to create lyrics and music that serve as a blueprint for her audience. You can make the songs your own, but you also know they belong to her and all of the other listeners who have also made them their own. It is a shared experience that is profound and moving, and why her music has guided me throughout my life.

A book like this is needed now – Amos does not sugar coat anything, and the book is often hard to read. You’ll want scream, cry, and hug your loved ones. However, it is crucial and timely, and I appreciate that Amos chose to write this book when she did. Fans of hers will love it, no doubt, but this book is also for anyone who looks to art during times of crisis for sanctuary. She inspires us to be courageous in many ways, comforts us through her art, and her words inspire hope. Resistance is not futile; it is crucial and what will save us in the end.

[Andrew · Rating 4 out of 5]

I will start by saying that I am not a big biography fan however after seeing Tori Amos present her book in this years Hay on Wye virtual festival I was intrigued - even more so since I have been following her music ever since I saw her play Little Earthquakes live at my University in the earth 90s (come-on yes I am that old).

So when I saw this book was part autobiography, part musing and part comment on the world around us and more specifically around Tori Amos - I knew I had to take a look.

So what did I learn - well there have been some turbulent times both for the world and the individual covered in this book. Did they break people (or Tori) - yes there are some dark times covered in this book - but there are also messages of hope too, that you are stronger than you realize and that not giving in you can take back the narrative and rise above it - as the book says words can be weapons - how you choose to use them is up to you.

I think in these uncertain times we need some resistance - after all if we don't what alternative is there.

[britt_brooke · Rating 4 out of 5]

Personal essays and societal commentary, punctuated with relevant lyrics. Gotta go audio for this one! Amos is a phenomenal, emotional narrator. It’s chilling to hear her song lyrics as spoken word. This is a beautifully unique take on the music memoir. It won’t be for everyone, but was def for me, and I’m not even super familiar with her music.

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I like Tori Amos music a lot. Not a hardcore fan, by any means- I have 4 of her albums and I think in this book she said she has 16 albums- it is fair to say that there have been whole years of my life when I didn't hear her music. BUT- I like her music. And I liked it a LOT when I was in high school and college. I suspect the reason I liked her MORE at that phase of my life is the same as the reason I didn't like this book nearly as much as I thought I would: I'm 42 now and know myself well enough to know that I just...can't realte to the mindset of eccentric artists anymore. I mean- power to them for having a life path where they have time to listen to muses and have genuine relationships with musical instruments and who can drive themselves nearly nuts trying to create something beautiful-- seriously, I think its amazing that people can do that....but as someone who is not creatively inclined, it sounds much to my brain as folks who talk about angels and spirits... and it sounds a little kooky. And there's a lot of kookiness in this book. Its definitely SINCERE, too, so I didn't want to laugh at it but I kept cocking my head to the side and thinking, "Seriously? Alright, let's go with this..." and eventually I'd get what she was saying, but it felt like there were artistic liberties taken in some chapters just to browbeat a point. And Amos makes some salient points about current events and political discourse in this book-- combined with her beautiful songwriting, we know she's intelligent, but...still koooky, and that made it difficult for me to read. I suspect people who are actually musicians and artists, even amateur ones, who read this book will like it a lot more than I did. Originally, I thought I'd be rushing to get her first book after reading this one, but I think I'll wait on that awhile. Three stars.

[Girl · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am a huge Tori Amos fan. And so, there was no question that I would read this book. On release.

Having said that, I'm... not entirely sure how to judge it. (I'm still not quite sure what I think about her first book, Piece by Piece, released in 2005, at the height of my fandom.) There are personal stories. There are personal stories concerning politics. (She never invokes the "personal is political" idea, but she might as well do.) There are stories about how politics and things going on in the world influence the creation of stories. It is not a clearly shaped, coherent narrative, but, rather, a collection of personal reflections. What Amos advises is, in short, to "out-create": respond to the political crisis with creativity. Be resistant by being creative. It's an engaging book, but I'm not entirely sure that it is for everybody.

[Roxie Voorhees · Rating 4 out of 5]

I like to think that I grew up and experienced the best years in music history. Arguably, 1993-1994 birthed some of the best music: Nine Inch Nails Downward Spiral, Tool Undertow, and Tori Amos Little Earthquakes. The most formative years of my life were drenched with Tori's words. I have traveled thousands of miles to be in the same room as her. I have touched her hand. I have cheered when she mimed she was pregnant before sitting at her piano. But my favorite memory of Tori, will always be September 20, 1999 when she played Smells Like Teen Spirit.

I have loved and admired Tori for close to three decades. Her music calms my soul. Her words flood into all corners of my person. That being said, I am not a blind acceptor of everything she puts out. So I say this with the most love and respect I can give, Tori, darling, this was a bit of a mess.

Now understandably, that is why we reviewers read advanced copies, to find the holes and errors. So listed below are my notes on each section. Some were awesome and well formed while others really lacked anything to hold on to. I gave 4 stars because I genuinely enjoyed reading this. I do hope that some editing is done prior to printing and would love to hear Tori narrate the audio book so we can really feel the emotional connection to her writing. (It could also have the playlist that I have outlined for the book below, so it would be an album/book combo!)

Gold Dust
Tori visits DC through the decades of her life. She speaks of the Muses and her ongoing relationship with them.

"Follow the threads that are woven within the Song Beings. They will get you to where you need to go. And be receptive to which Song Beings are coming to you, not just the ones you personally favor."

We then get a look into Tori's childhood. A music prodigy, Tori begins piano at 3 and by the time she is a 13 year old she is playing clubs.

"Once they found out about the gay bar that had given me a chance, some good Christians warned that we along with those homosexuals were going to burn in the fiery rivers of hell. I was quite proud of my father's response to that rabble: 'There is no safer place for a thirteen-year-old girl than in an all-gay bar.' Amen, dad."

Devils and Gods
Tori begins to play more bars near the White House and sees a backdoor view of our politics.

Little Earthquakes
Tori witnesses a big shift in America. She talks of politics at the times and the beginning of America's never ending conflict with the Middle East. This section was less personal and more of an essay on the times political shift. *Sadface*

Bang
Jump forward to 2017. Tori then discusses immigration and "children in cages". She briefly explains her personal beliefs citing Carl Sagan "Humans are all made of star stuff."

Girl
Now we are in 1990 with the birth of Girl. Tori speaks of her songs are sentient beings. So when she isn't being her true self her songs put things into perspective.

"'Girl' would say, That's natural. That part of you served her purpose. Thank her and let her go.
'Just like that?' I'd ask.
Send her off with a margarita. She'll be fine."

Girl Disappearing
Now we are in NYC 9/11/01.
This was a great section on what she physically observed during one of the most painful events of America's history.

I Can't See New York
Here we start the recovery of 9/11. Tori finds herself torn between continuing her obligations as an artist and absorbing her surroundings.

Pancake
From Tori's view, we see the incitement of war to the American people during a time when they needed peace and comfort.

Father's Son
September 27, 2018 (my birthday btw) RAINN received the most calls in one day. Ever. This was in response to Dr. Christine Blasey Ford's testamony pleading with the Senate Judiciary Committee to not allow the man who sexually assaulted her become a US Supreme Court Justice.

Ophelia
This song outlines the emotions a survivor feels.

Cornflake Girl
Women that sabatoge other women. She largely discusses the topic of Female Genital Mutilation. She time jumped back to 1993. Again this section felt more essay-ish than a personal story. *frown*

Scarlet's Walk
Over the next few sections, Tori discusses the time after 9/11 and her staunch anti-war belief.

Jackie's Strength
Midsection side step from 2002 to 1998. Tori, what are you doing girl. Has Neil read this?

Silent All These Years
Me and a Gun
Now a section on speaking up.

Shattering Sea
Another section on DV.

The Chase
A duet with her daughter/niece (they play two sides of the same character)

Riot Poof
Pilgrimage talk and BAM! right into 2017 tour.

Russia
Childhood story and family background.

Barons of Suburbia
Angry song toward corrupt people in Tori's life.

Yo George
I honestly don't have any clue what she is trying to say here...

Taxi Ride
June 2014 Russia tour
Many Russians wrote letters to Tori explaining how horrible life was for them in Russia.
Not Gonna Get Us by t.A.T.u.
Putin troops storm her concert under the premise of security for the president's arrival the next day. Sassy Tori decides to give them Yes, Anastasia

May 2019
Personal story about a family outing.
Not the Red Baron
War stories about relatives.

Mary's Raven
Tori lost her mom May 11, 2019. This section explores that pain and grief.

"Death is messy, and I am leaking."

Sister Janet
Here Tori explores the other side, feeling helpless when someone you love is dealing with that pain and grief.

1000 Oceans
Tori's mom appears to her as a raven. In this section she goes into more depth of that grief process and how it affected her art.

The Beekeeper
More on Mary.

The Vicar's Wife
And even more on Mary.

Reindeer King
Shortly after Mary's death, Tori is to give the commencement speech at the Peabody Conservatory. She battles the grief with what she knows, music.

"For me the magic twelve were the twelve notes of a scale. By adding the piano to the circle this magic became my magic thirteen."

A Sorta Fairytale
Crucify
In the Springtime of His Voodoo
Personal conversation with Mary about music. Then a section full of advice.
Datura
Great section on overcoming turbulent times.
Climb

Thank you to Atria Books, Simon & Schuster, Inc., and NetGalley for an electronic copy of Resistance: A Songwriter's Story of Hope, Change, and Courage in exchange for an honest review. Out May 5, 2020

Disclaimer: This piece is still a work in progress, meaning, things can change. Quotes might be removed or altered. Sections may swap or deleted.

[Lani · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am like a lot of people that love and respect Tori Amos. Little Earthquakes is probably in my top 10 most played albums of all time. So, when a friend told me about this book, I was so excited that I got the Audiobook so I could hear her story in her own voice. This format actually turned out to be a huge disappointment. Apparently I am not a fan of her narration. She speaks really slowly and dramatically; pausing between words or repeating them to let them sink in. She annunciated each word almost pretentiously. While telling her recollections of conversations all I could think was, 'Boy is she an Overactor. William Shatner has nothing on her.' It was to the point of discomfort and distraction of what she was trying to say.

This book will not be for everyone. While I share most of Tori's political, feminist and gender equality views, this book seemed like more of an agenda before the 2020 election. I understand why she did it, but I was hoping for great memoir of her life and inspirations. What I got was no more information about her than what you can find on Wikipedia. Most of it was her opinions on the world, about being a prodigy artist and how she sees and hears Muses for her musical inspiration. The last two chapters were completely over my head about how Artists create and what it means to them.




I think it might have been too 'deep' for me.

[Erica · Rating 5 out of 5]

June 20th, 2022.
Two days ago, Tori Amos finished her North American Ocean to Ocean tour. Today, I finished this audiobook.
There was something infinitely pleasing about listening to her tell me about her life leading up to 2020 while she was also singing the next chapter of this story to thousands upon thousands of people across the United States, a place that continues to experience so much of the turmoil she discusses in her book.

This is the "review" I have always wanted to write because it’s been sitting in my soul, building for three decades. You might want to walk away now because it’s going to get sappy and sentimental, bordering on obnoxious. Probably all the way into obnoxious territory, actually, as it's all about me and not an actual review of this book.

A favorite ice-breaker question is some form of “What famous person would you want to meet?”
Tori Amos is the famous person I would never want to meet because she would be completely wasted on me. I would be Troy Barnes meeting LeVar Burton.

In the introduction, she talks about her teenage self sometimes being her guide. My past self guide is 20- to 27-year-old me, starting from the first time I heard Tori Amos on the radio.

I was primed to be attracted to Amos’ vocals due to my teenage love of Kate Bush so her first radio song, "Winter," arrested me the moment I heard it, which I still remember - I was driving down I-25, on my way to the day’s classes, passing the dead beige grasses in the fields surrounding the US Air Force Academy. I was listening to the AFA’s college radio station and when a new song I’d never heard started playing, I swore up and down it was Kate Bush. I stalked the radio, waiting for the song to return, waiting to find out who was singing, what it was called and as soon as I knew, but disbelieved, I went out and bought the album. On cassette. And I’ve bought it several times since because that cassette wore out so fast.

Little Earthquakes was exactly what I needed exactly when I needed it delivered in a voice I already trusted. Obviously, she will never know the impact this album had on me - and it terrifies me every single time, including this time, I hear her talk about how it almost didn’t come to be - but she does know, from what I’ve gleaned, what it meant to thousands of others who found these songs when they needed them most. Just as long as she knows the integral place she has held and holds in people's lives, that's what matters.

In my case, even after memorizing every vocal shift and tremble, every vowel of every word, I still had no idea what most of the songs were about, although “Winter” and “Me and a Gun," a song I hated so much that I skipped 90% of the time it came on, were fairly damn obvious.
Otherwise, the meaning behind the lyrics escaped me but the meaning behind the songs impacted my very being and helped me pivot from young me to the new, adult me.
I carried that cassette, and the second cassette, then the CD with me everywhere and bolstered the emotional messages I got from it with messages from the nearly-equally-beloved Songs from the Choirgirl Hotel and Boys for Pele and Under the Pink, messages I couldn’t parse through the lyrics but could only understand through how they made me feel, how they resonated deep within me, in some core of understanding that I can’t readily access. Those songs are now hardwired in me.

And despite watching interviews, despite reading biographies and liner notes, that inability to understand the words never changed until I listened to her read this book that she wrote as an artist activist, as a mother, as a person of the world who cares about the world and its people, as a white person with immense privilege who knows her feelings have resonated with the feelings of others around the globe, as someone in pain, both personal and shared.

I haven’t remained an avid follower throughout her career. Scarlet’s Walk was the last album I felt, though I kept buying and listening to them up through Gold Dust. While I continued to treasure and turn to her older works, I felt a weird sense of loss not being able to be touched by anything after 2002.
It was like breaking up with a friend and mentor and I’ve often wondered what happened?
Had our paths diverged so far that there was no overlap?
Was I regressing or stagnating as she moved on?
Was she getting old and too famous and enveloped in her own creative bubble?
Had I become stupid?

After listening to this memoir, I know that she was still doing what she always did, there was still just as much meaning in her work after Scarlet as there had been prior. We were still on the same wavelengths, worrying about the same things. I simply didn’t care for the music. That’s all. And that’s fine.

Although I hadn’t stayed on board with the music, I have been following her social media accounts so I knew she was releasing an album inspired by all the emotions of 2020, everything that had happened after the publication of this book. Once the release was near, all the music stations - Spotify, Pandora, YouTube Music - were quick to update me in real time, or so it felt. Interviews popped up in my feed, song snippets, and finally, the album itself.

I listened to Ocean to Ocean the day it dropped and I cried in release and relief. Not only did I feel her music again way down deep in that place that’s wiser than the rest of me but this time, I understood the songs on a surface level, as well, because so much of it reflected what I - what many of us - had been through in the past few years.
As a bonus, “29 Years” was an unexpected surprise, a kind of balm, a resolution to the song on Little Earthquakes that had terrified and angered me so badly.

I’m grateful to have experienced this the way I did, after coming back to the fold with Ocean to Ocean, listening while she toured, having that bridge from the end of this book to what came next.
I was also immensely sad that Ocean to Ocean couldn’t be included in this text specifically because "Flowers Burn to Gold" would have been such a perfect addition to her chapters on losing her mother and then finding her again in her music. Those were some hard chapters to listen to.

For those who are not fans and will probably never read this book, I feel Ch. 21 about how hard it is to be a musician, how jealousy gets in the way, how much work is involved in learning to be ones self should be required reading for all artists.
...but over the years, you can cultivate hate for the art you love
If you're an artist who isn't interested in this particular artist, maybe run down to the library, find this book and read that chapter.

And Ch. 22 is quite helpful for those of us who have artists in our own lives whom we love and support but are probably sometimes a little too critical toward.

I recognize that some passages in here are maybe...uh...they're well-meaning and coming from a place of concern and love but she's probably not the person who should have published them; they probably should have come from other voices that she could have amplified. I also recognize this is something we white or white-adjacent women of a certain age just do because we feel we're doing the right thing. I hope we take the messages she gives us to heart and go forth to do better.
To me, this is worth all 5 stars, given as strongly as possible.
I highly recommend it to all Tori Amos fans, to musicophiles and melomaniacs, and to people who want to know more about how music can be a form of activism.
If you’re a person who enjoys audiobooks, listen to the audio version but also grab the print version so you can see the pictures.

[Katie (DoomKittieKhan) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and Atria Books for a digital ARC of 'Resistance' by Tori Amos.

"Collective trauma is its own energy."

This is a much anticipated work by a woman who has been making waves in the music industry for upwards of 40 years. Enigmatic, fiery, often misunderstood, charismatic performer that she is, Tori Amos has been a catalyst of our collective cultural memory since the early 1990s. If you are unfamiliar with her unique musical style, this book might not be the best introduction to her or her music.

The writing mimics the cadence of Amos's lyrics. The book is diaphanous and not rooted by chronological events. Rather the story flows thematically, and events and recollections present themselves as totems guiding the narrative. Each chapter is punctuated by song lyrics and filled with anecdotes of how her music came into existence. If you are not used to Amos's method of storytelling, then this can be a bit jarring. However, those familiar with the magical quality of her writing will be richly rewarded.

Amos has been criticized for her sometimes vulgar and outspoken musical style. With songs like 'Me and a Gun', 'Raspberry Swirl', "Leather", "Playboy Mommy", and "Original Sinsuality", Amos's lyrics explore themes of sexuality, womanhood, and the powerful Feminine. She has been politically active for most of her career, and her blatant intolerance for injustice is inspiring. She was the original spokesperson for RAINN (founded in 1994) and continues to fundraise for them annually. As she explored in ‘Resistance', it becomes clear that Amos has had her finger on the cultural pulse of our nation for many decades.

However, this book is not a blueprint for political activism. Nor does it bring us any closer to some shared sense of progress, but instead serves as an acknowledgment of our shared trauma. 'Resistance' also explains how Amos has been able to channel her discomfort with the American political engine through her music, and while she is clearly 'woke', this book still manages to feel out of sync. Amos has been largely silent on social media for the past several years, and the passion that fuels these pages seem a bit...tone deaf. Amos has produced a very personal work, but one that might not resonate with a wide audience. Which is unfortunate because she has such a powerful and compassionate voice and the potential to reach new audiences.

[Liz · Rating 3 out of 5]

This had some good advice about the creative process and living an artist's life—of course it does! Tori is truly living her Wise Woman archetype.

This book is a good reminder of Tori's genius and general under-ratedness. God, I love this woman.

There are revealing parts about the death of her mother last year and a brief mention of the death of her friend Beenie (!), events that are probably going to cast a shadow on the next Tori album (which she explicitly says should be out before the end of 2020). It's a very sad part of the book and Tori pulls no punches. Pobre Tori!

Similarly to "Piece by Piece," there's quite a bit in here about the genesis of certain songs. Tori manages to explain a lot without ever really explaining..... how she writes a song (I feel like "Piece by Piece" is actually more explicit on this).

In general I would recommend this to Tori fans. I personally was disappointed that there wasn't more in here about her fights with the music industry, but Tori's gotta do her thing.

I will say there were a few parts of this book that had me in disbelief—the most egregious is one of the earlier chapters, where she spends five pages—five frigging pages—explaining the background of the Iran hostage crisis.

TORI..... I don't want to read your Wikipedia summary of the FUCKING IRAN HOSTAGE CRISIS. I want to read YOUR story!!!

The second most egregious moment is when she quotes George W. Bush's entire speech—his entire speech—about going to war to Iraq (I could be misremembering this, maybe it was the "axis of evil" part from his state of the union address).

AGAIN....... TORI...... WHY IS THIS IN YOUR BOOK? I DON'T WANT TO READ THIS.

End of rant!

(Love u, Tori!)

[Renata · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've been a long-term fan of Tori Amos so I pre-ordered this book last year, and then I just never felt compelled to pick it up and start reading it. (Partly I think I was afraid of getting burned the way I was by Ani DiFranco's bad memoir, and partly I was afraid it would be too "political" in a way that would just make me even more pointlessly worked up as I have been for...awhile. And partly also IDK I just had other stuff going on!)

ANYWAY it was worth the wait, I really enjoyed it. It's kind of loosely structured essay/anecdotes about her personal life and/or bigger picture history that inspired a song, then lyrics of a song, then another essay-ish thing. I would absolutely not recommend it to someone who wasn't already a big fan of Tori Amos. But if you are a fan of hers, at least for me this made me appreciate her even more and added some context for some of her songs (whose lyrics can be uhh abstract). And inspiring about the power of art and community! Ultimately left me feeling slightly less depressed about the state of the world! Wow!

[Keith Malloy · Rating 2 out of 5]

As a Tori Amos fan I had been looking forward to this audiobook. There was some interesting content, like the stories behind individual songs that made up most of the tome. I am not a very political person but learned a few things in those sections of the text.

This being said, Tori Amos might be the worst narrator of an audiobook I have ever listened too. Every word was emoted to the point of caricature. A majority of the sentences in the book were read in a weird cadence where she paused every three or four words. When reciting the song lyrics this poetic license made sense but she did it for the entire project. I have listened to less interesting books before, but this was easily the most arduous listening experience I have had in the decade or so I have been listening to audiobooks. If you don't have a reason that you can only peruse the audio edition I would implore you to read any other edition.

[Rebecca Alcazaze · Rating 4 out of 5]

If this had been written by anyone other than Tori Amos I’d probably have felt snarky about all the psychic introspection stuff. Long interpretations of her own creative processes hinge upon ‘the muses’; ephemeral forces that gift her certain songs. While much of her oeuvre is deeply physical, exploring politics, womanhood, power and the body, Amos imagines a kind of spiritual realm in which she can access artistic inspiration. Because of this the last half of the text is steeped in deep spiritual musings about her craft, her life and her experience of loss. It’s the kind of tone that would usually have me rolling my eyes… but this is Tori Amos so she can do and say whatever the fuck she likes!

I’ve seen her on multiple occasions and she genuinely exudes something magical. Her playing, her voice, the compositions, the lyrics: if any musical artist was in touch with creative forces beyond the material realm then it’s her!

[Simay Yildiz · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Tori Amos kitabı çıkıyormuş!” dediğim ilk gün ön sipariş verdim ve 22 Mayıs Cuma günü elime ulaştığında da “bayramda okurum ama şöyle bir bakayım içine” derken bir baktım kitabı bitirmişim. Buna şaşırmayın çünkü Tori Amos çok uzun yıllardır hayatımda çok önemli yeri olan kadınlardan biri. Herkesin (ya da çoğunluğun mu demeliyim acaba?) bir “müzik hayat kurtarır” hikâyesi vardır ya? Benim hikâyemde de başroldeki isimlerden biri gerçekten Tori Amos. Genel olarak kendi tarzını yaratmasıyla ve çok “kişisel” şarkılar yazmasıyla tanınsa da kitabında da belirttiği gibi bir “hikâye anlatıcısı” aslında. Ben de 90’lardan beri asıl bu yanına hayranım; şarkıları hem kendi başlarına hem de bir araya geldiklerinde müzik ile anlatılan hikâyeler benim için. Bunlar arasında hem Tori’ye özel, gerçekten “kişisel” olanlar hem de başkalarını anlatanlar var. Mesela Black Dove (January Girl) şarkısını rüyasında beni görüp, bana yazdığına eminim (benim emin olmam kesin bilgi olduğu anlamına gelmiyor; hemen celallenmeyin).

Tori Amos kitabı elime ulaştıktan ve bitirdikten sonra şöyle bir baktım uzun yıllardır hayranı olanlar ve olmayanlar farklı şeyler söylemiş mi diye. Hayranı olmayıp da okuyanlara pek rastlamadım ama müziğini sevip de sırf Tori yazdığı için alıp okuyanlardan bazılarının yorumlarına şaşırdım. Çünkü kitabın politika ağırlıklı olmasına şaşıranlar çok vardı. Bush yönetimi zamanında, ilk şarkısı Yo George olan American Doll Posse gibi bir albüm yapan, her fırsatta politik görüşlerinin ve bu doğrultuda aldığı aksiyonların Washington’da çaldığı piyano barlarda duyduğu muhabbetlerle de şekillendiğini anlatan bir kadının böyle bir zamanda politika konuşmasına şaşırmalarına şaşırdım ben de. Uzun yıllardır bir numaralı sapığıymışım gibi röportajlarını, vs. de takip ediyorum haliyle ve bu Tori Amos kitabı ile ilgili beklentilerimi doğru şekillendirmişim diye düşünüyorum şahsen; ben hayal kırıklığına uğramadım.

Devamı: https://zimlicious.com/tori-amos-kita...

[Tony · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have always loved and admired Tori and will follow her wherever she may go, but she was not served well by her editor in the concept for this book. I’ve absorbed so much of her press, and this book often comes across as a fairly shallow regurgitation of many of the themes discussed there. She doesn’t seem to actually have any advice for writers other than to “out create” the negative forces. There’s no cohesion in her anecdotes or buildup to an emotional peak. Nothing really holds together. Sadly, a disappointment. Also, can’t imagine what a non-fan would make of this.

[Niccola Nelson · Rating 2 out of 5]

Let me preface this review by saying that I am HUGE fan of Tori Amos. I can still remember where I was in 1992 when I heard the cassette tape of Little Earthquakes for the first time (in the cafeteria of Winman Jr High!) and I was memorized by Tori’s voice.

So when I say that this book was a HUGE disappointment, it hurts! She should call this a “political memoir” instead because I didn’t get a real sense of her journey as a songwriter which is why I wanted to read it. I listened to the audio and honestly the last 35 minutes were the best part of the book!

[Jenny · Rating 2 out of 5]

I love Tori's music, but listening to this book was torture.

[holly · Rating 4 out of 5]

this has inspired me to maybe(?) pick up my guitar again...ily tori amos god bless

[BookChampions · Rating 5 out of 5]

"The most important skill a songwriter needs is to be able to listen. Like an elephant: ears the size of Kansas. Not only do you need to hear every beat of breath between what is being said; you have to hear what *isn't* being said." (32-33)

Tori Amos was the first artist who truly changed me, and I owe a lot of my feminism, my activism, and my emotion health to the example she started to set over 25 years ago. Reading *Resistance*, her first true memoir, was like a walk throughout those many years as her fan, a proud Ears With Feet made to feel a whole hell of a lot less alone. In many ways this book is also about ME, considering how much time I spent pouring over lyric booklets and burning memories into the rainbows on the bellies of those many cds.

For Tori Amos fans, this book is a treasure and a gift. A must read and a must listen.. For aspiring musicians, for writers, for young activists seeking a voice, Tori has a lot of wisdom to impart. I can't say for certain whether a casual fan or even a nonfan will connect with her narrative voice, but I find it to be so comforting, humble yet certain in the truths she has found for herself.

When Florence Welch published *Useless Magic* a few years ago, I cried out to the Muses: Make Tori publish a keepsake just like this, a showcase of her art and lyrics and wisdom! Leave it to Tori to create something similar but SO PERFECTLY HER--focused on justice and feminism and how we all can make the world better through our art.

The audiobook is pure magic, too. I need to find mp3s of all the song lyrics included in the book (many of them my favourites--Invisible Boy, Climb, Silent All These Years, Father's Son), read by Tori herself like the poetry they are.

[KellyMarie Meek · Rating 3 out of 5]

I adore Tori Amos. I finally made the switch from tapes to CD’s (well after the rest of the world) because I found out about import CD singles. I once said I would buy a CD that was just Tori breathing (which sounds creepy now, for sure). I was elated when I was once wearing a Tori tshirt around town and someone thought I was wearing a shirt with my own face on it (it may not have been the best quality image, and we both had the same shade of red hair at the time). But this was... a little much for me? I just couldn’t connect or stay engaged at all. I wanted something else, though I’m not sure exactly what that is. I’m going to go listen to Little Earthquakes on repeat and reconnect with good Tori thoughts.

[Professor Weasel · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love Tori and would walk into the fire with her wherever she goes, but TBH this was pretty meh to me. Love her to death, though! Bruce Springsteen's "Born to Run" is still the best, most genuinely "literary" music book I've ever read.

[Emma Paulet · Rating 3 out of 5]

Bit of a hot mess to be honest. Some valuable insights; some passages so seemingly hell-bent on mysticism that they make no sense. I always knew she was a witch, and I am grateful for her music.

[Cristi Julsrud · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tori and I have been together a long time. Little Earthquakes and Under the Pink got me through high school; Boys for Pele and From the Choirgirl Hotel kept me company in college. To Venus and Back was there for me through heartbreak, and The Beekeeper and Unrepentant Geraldines coached me through a crisis of faith. Every major moment in my life has had a soundtrack of Tori's music. I was thrilled when I saw that she had written another book.

I read Piece by Piece quite a few years ago, and I loved it almost as much as I love Tori's music. Resistance, like Tori herself, is more mature than Piece by Piece, but it retains the same qualities. If you are looking for a straightforward, easy to follow narrative, then Resistance is not the book for you. Much like Tori's music, it meanders. There is a thread of story that runs through the book, but it is not told in an organizational structure that makes it easy to follow. The setup is fairly predictable: each chapter is organized around one of the songs, which preface the chapter as poetry. Sometimes the correlation between the chapter's content is obvious, other times the reader has to work to dig into the song's context to understand why they fit together.

The book begins with the song Gold Dust from Scarlet's Walk.
"Sights and sounds pull me back down another year/ I was here/ I was here..." The sounds of the songs propel the narrative through a host of events, from Tori's time playing piano in bars in DC, through 9/11, the Iraq War, the #metoo movement, and the 2016 election. The book almost has two storylines. The first is about Tori's response as an artist through the major historical events that have happened during the decades-long span of her career. We see her learning that "the personal is political," standing up to record executives, finding her voice, and using her platform as an artist to speak out and advocate for change.

The second storyline (in my opinion the more effective one) is Tori working through her grief about losing her mother, Mary. This happened while she was in the process of writing the book. The chapters dealing with her grief are raw and emotional, invoking emotions in the way her best songs do. Her voice here is honest, speaking to the reader but also to herself. You won't get through those chapters without tears.

The book ends with a call to arms for artists. Tori encourages us to keep creating, even when things are dark and scary, and the creative process seems hard and maybe like it's not worth it. She ends the book by reminding us, "We must out-create Destruction. It is the only way."

I don't necessarily believe this book is for everyone, but it was certainly the right book for me. It saved me from a deep, dark, quarantine reading slump that was threatening to derail my entire reading life. If you are a fan of Tori's work, or if you are an artist, or if you are just in a deep, dark place and need reminding of how to keep moving forward, pick up a copy.

(Addendum: Tori reads the Audible version herself, so I will definitely be picking up a copy of it as well. And there is an "official" Spotify playlist with all of the songs referenced in the book. A great retrospective of Tori's career with many great songs!)

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Music has always been a part of my life. While reading this book, which zeros in on Tori’s music life and her politics and how she draws from events to make her music, I started thinking back to my favorite songs from the 60s and 70s that were mostly political/protest songs such as: Buffalo Springfield: For What It’s Worth, Marvin Gaye’s : What’s Going On, Neil Young’s: Ohio, Joni Mitchell’s: Big Yellow Taxi and Janis Ian’s: Society’s Child. I’ve always wanted a message in the songs I listen to. I’ve also been drawn to singer songwriters. Particularly women singer songwriters. When I first heard Little Earthquakes by Tori Amos I was blown away! It was like she was speaking directly to me. Telling me to be myself and speak my mind and not be Silent! Her music through the years has been a comfort through good times and bad. On my way to work I would slip in one of her many cds and crank up the volume to get me motivated. Little Earthquakes is her masterpiece in my opinion. I have seen Tori in concert 3 times and they are life altering experiences. Resistance talks of her musical journey and her hope of change and how music can be very important in these current times of our authoritarian government. If you are a fan I highly recommend this book. Also I recommend listening to the songs she has selected in this book while reading. She actually has an official playlist on Spotify. If you are looking for an inspirational read get this book. If nothing else hop on Spotify and listen to a genius.

[Tzipora · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a special, and at times very intense experience, mixing lyrics spanning Tori’s entire long career with a variety of musings, thoughts on art and creating, politics, pain, and world events, as well as dealing with the grief of losing both her mother and a dear friend very close together. I highly recommend queueing up each song and listening and reading along with the lyrics on the page. While it’s become somewhat popular in our internet and music streaming age for authors to include playlists with their books, here the music is truly and fully a part of the book. And you may find, I sure did, that the songs you’ve known by heart for years and even decades take on a new or different meaning. Tori writes of them continuing to do so even for her.

Ultimately this isn’t a long book and can be read quickly, but I recommend against that. Take your time with it. Personally, I found while I dove in head first, eventually I needed breaks, more of them as I went on, because there are a lot of heavy subjects within. Tori was approached with the idea to write this second book shortly after the election of President Trump, to write about the importance of art and artists as an integral part of the resistance. Even she did not realize what a challenging undertaking this would be and as a reader and an artist, a term that reading this book inspired me to reclaim for myself, I did not know just how much I needed this book or the sentiment behind it.

There’s something very powerful here, maybe especially NOW at the time it’s being released where we are not only jaded and struggling with the present political reality, but the pressures of a wild and rapidly changing world beyond what most of us ever could’ve imagined. Even pre-COVID 19 I think many of us were very tired, dejected, aching on a deep soul level. Tori writes poignantly about refusing to accept the idea of artistic barrenness and I think so many of us, regardless of the form or medium of our art, have been feeling or even falling into that trap of believing ourselves barren. In fact, right now, I am certain that feeling extends far beyond artists. We are feeling it as people, as parents, as friends, daughters and sons, as politically engaged citizens, etc.

I’m even tempted to change my rating the more I sit with this book and the thoughts and feelings it’s left me with. But I do want to mention, I think the book could’ve been slightly rearranged and the structure fine tuned a bit. While I’m okay with Tori’s musings not being in order, there are a few points where I feel a different order may have better served the narrative (and I found myself with a bit of whiplash to stray from a topic onto something totally different only to once again return to the first thing). The first third of the book, the song lyrics lead each chapter, then suddenly they’re at the end. After a point I actually completely lost track of which song went with which chapter. Another review suggests the order returned back to song and then chapter but that honestly wasn’t clear to me. Interesting enough though, once I got to that point I found it didn’t even matter. They worked very well and I almost felt like Tori found her groove more fully as well. So while the earlier part of the book feels more like a variety of separate chapters, for me at least, it all began to flow together and it was here that I began to gain so much more from reading.

I could regale you with tales of what Tori personally means to me, list off all the details of my years of being a fan but I think most of us who are going to read this one are all in the same boat. Similarly, I don’t want to summarize what exactly Tori writes about because I think this book is a journey, a unique one that so beautifully combines two of my dearest loves- music and reading- in a way I’ve never experienced before but gained a lot from. This is a book to experience, more than to tell about. And I think, some editing issues aside (that for all I know could be changed in the final edition, or not. I received my copy from Net Galley many months back because I knew I NEEDED this book. I’m glad though that I waited until now to read it because I think I needed it even more IR was more ready to receive it now), I think I’d call this a 4.5. And in some ways it defies rating altogether. I don’t know what it might mean or read like to someone who isn’t familiar with Tori, who isn’t drawn to her lyrics and music already, so there’s a lack of objectivity in that sense and I realize even the biggest fan may not have the kind of experience I did. But that is ultimately the true magic of art, isn’t it? We can all read/listen/view the same piece but walk away with something different and what I need or even want from a book or song may be vastly different from what you need or want.

Thank you to Atria Books and Net Galley, but most of all, thank you Tori- for giving me such a unique sort of mixed media experience and exceeding my expectations. This is a book I’m going to be thinking about for quite awhile and as I find various Tori songs stuck in my head, I find they’ve changed too or that I’m thinking about them more deeply than I have before. That is a gift.

“We must Out-Create destruction. It is the only way. Destruction can possess and it must be Out-Created by us. Together. We will climb out of the belly of the beast together.”