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Finding Your Child's Way on the Autism Spectrum: Discovering Unique Strengths, Mastering Behavior Challenges
It seems that nearly everyone knows a family with an autism spectrum child. Most recent figures suggest that the prevalence of all autism spectrum disorders in the United States is an astonishing 1% of the population in the United States, translating to twelve million parents and grandparents that are seeking answers.
There are many books available on how to cure an autistic preschooler, but none on how to raise one to adulthood. These promised cures raise parents' hopes, but most parents will find that they are dealing with a lifelong challenge no matter what they do. Dr. Laura Hendrickson is a trained psychiatrist, biblical counselor--and the mother of an autistic child. She understands the struggles parents face as they try to communicate with their autism spectrum child and manage behavior challenges.
With an approach that is grounded in a deep understanding of the challenges those caring for autism spectrum children face, Finding Your Child's Way on the Autism Spectrum gives the reader sound, practical tools for understanding how to guide an autism spectrum child to function more fully as the person God created them to be.
There are many books available on how to cure an autistic preschooler, but none on how to raise one to adulthood. These promised cures raise parents' hopes, but most parents will find that they are dealing with a lifelong challenge no matter what they do. Dr. Laura Hendrickson is a trained psychiatrist, biblical counselor--and the mother of an autistic child. She understands the struggles parents face as they try to communicate with their autism spectrum child and manage behavior challenges.
With an approach that is grounded in a deep understanding of the challenges those caring for autism spectrum children face, Finding Your Child's Way on the Autism Spectrum gives the reader sound, practical tools for understanding how to guide an autism spectrum child to function more fully as the person God created them to be.
144 pages, Paperback
First published February 1, 2009
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67 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
June 10, 2022
Disclaimer: I am relatively new to the arena of ASD, do not have a Dr diagnosis, and my education/experience is primarily self-directed and based on “high-functioning”/“low support” experience.
I *do* share Hendrickson’s Biblical worldview (generally) so really wanted to like this book, but it’s iffy at best, and falls into the unfortunate error of early “Biblical” counseling where the physical realities of an ailment are severely downplayed or outright overlooked in a sincere effort to address the - also real - spiritual and emotional elements.
I would recommend this only as a very soft, introductory reading on the topic, to be read alongside and compared with more knowledgeable resources. For the parent who’s new to asd and in the throes, the sympathetic tone of the first couple chapters could provide an encouraging balm before needing to push on to more solid and in-depth sources of practical wisdom on the topic.
She does offer some good principals and strategies for parenting, in general, though.
I made the assumption that because it’s written by a Dr., it’d have much more scientific and medical background and explanation of ASD. Instead, it’s largely anecdotal. There are some wise principals, but they’re explained primarily through personal examples of her son.
Some of the info appears outdated or not thoroughly researched (e.g. Asperger’s is still referred to as a separate dx.). She refers to the movie Rain Man more than scientific or medical data that explains what’s happening in the ASD brain and body.
Also, Hendrickson is a former psychiatrist and not a specialist in ASD. Multiple times when she makes practical suggestions, it’s because “this is what the behaviorist we hired did,” without much further support or explanation. It actually made me want to read a book by the behaviorist instead of this one.
My concerns:
1)Her focus on stimming is about limiting and modifying it, without developing an understanding of WHY it’s happening and resolving problematic stims by getting to their root (ie. recognizing and reducing overstimulation). She writes, “And for whatever reason it happens, stimming is very gratifying,” without delving into any science that provides very good reason why stimming is happening, and therefore truly helpful and effective ways to address it, when needed.
She also gives the blanket statement “Stimming interferes with learning , because when a spectrum kid is stimming , he’s paying attention to his stem, not to what you are trying to teach him.” While this may be the case in some situations, she clearly hasn’t experienced the mental relief and ability to focus that can come directly from stimming.
2)I am personally not familiar with nor experienced with therapies, but she does recommend ABA which I know has become controversial in ASD circles.
3)She addresses “3 Main Emotions that Motivate Problem Behaviors” - which is fine, but problematic when she brushes past the very real physiological issues happening underneath those. She gives those a quick acknowledgment but leaves her readers without direction and answers on this very much needed topic so they can truly understand what an ASD person is experiencing and therefore how to approach it more effectively. I do appreciate that she still addresses the spiritual and moral responsibilities of an ASD person, though.
4)When addressing social/communication issues, she says, “The problem is, a spectrum kid genuinely doesn’t know how to meet others in the middle.” As if it’s always the ASD person’s flaw/fault there, when in reality many typical people don’t know how to be flexible enough to meet an ASD person in the middle. It’s sadly ironic she doesn’t consider this here as on the very next page she addresses how frequently ASD people are taunted, bullied, and manipulated by typical people, but then immediately still turns the arrow at the ASD person for “selfish and sinful” behavior it seems we “[make] excuses for.” She continues “So training your [ASD] child to understand others better is only part of your job. The other part is constantly confronting him with Christ’s claims on his life.” SO true but also so harshly directed at the ASD kid even in the direct context of a bully of a typical kid - who doesn’t even have a disorder as an excuse, right? - who is demonstrating a gross lack of understanding for atypicals, and needs confrontation for blatant meanness and cruelty vs the atypical’s unintentional yet perceived “rudeness.” The author would do well to address how parents can support their ASD kid who gets bullied instead of only making the ASD kid the bad guy, the only one who needs to change.
Basically, the main tone of the book becomes how to “improve” the ASD kid - which if done for their benefit and for their gain, great! But what the author doesn’t seem to know to factor in is the steep cost to the individual at which “improvement” (which often becomes masking) can come.
So generally speaking she shares some helpful principles and strategies, but the imbalance of a lack of understanding and knowledge of what the ASD person is actually experiencing physiologically makes it fall flat and leaves some major gaps in how to fully support that child in effective way.
The last chapter ends on a high and encouraging note focused on God’s sovereignty on who we are and what we become. So that one would be worth a read for those new to ASD parents struggling with those questions and concerns.
I *do* share Hendrickson’s Biblical worldview (generally) so really wanted to like this book, but it’s iffy at best, and falls into the unfortunate error of early “Biblical” counseling where the physical realities of an ailment are severely downplayed or outright overlooked in a sincere effort to address the - also real - spiritual and emotional elements.
I would recommend this only as a very soft, introductory reading on the topic, to be read alongside and compared with more knowledgeable resources. For the parent who’s new to asd and in the throes, the sympathetic tone of the first couple chapters could provide an encouraging balm before needing to push on to more solid and in-depth sources of practical wisdom on the topic.
She does offer some good principals and strategies for parenting, in general, though.
I made the assumption that because it’s written by a Dr., it’d have much more scientific and medical background and explanation of ASD. Instead, it’s largely anecdotal. There are some wise principals, but they’re explained primarily through personal examples of her son.
Some of the info appears outdated or not thoroughly researched (e.g. Asperger’s is still referred to as a separate dx.). She refers to the movie Rain Man more than scientific or medical data that explains what’s happening in the ASD brain and body.
Also, Hendrickson is a former psychiatrist and not a specialist in ASD. Multiple times when she makes practical suggestions, it’s because “this is what the behaviorist we hired did,” without much further support or explanation. It actually made me want to read a book by the behaviorist instead of this one.
My concerns:
1)Her focus on stimming is about limiting and modifying it, without developing an understanding of WHY it’s happening and resolving problematic stims by getting to their root (ie. recognizing and reducing overstimulation). She writes, “And for whatever reason it happens, stimming is very gratifying,” without delving into any science that provides very good reason why stimming is happening, and therefore truly helpful and effective ways to address it, when needed.
She also gives the blanket statement “Stimming interferes with learning , because when a spectrum kid is stimming , he’s paying attention to his stem, not to what you are trying to teach him.” While this may be the case in some situations, she clearly hasn’t experienced the mental relief and ability to focus that can come directly from stimming.
2)I am personally not familiar with nor experienced with therapies, but she does recommend ABA which I know has become controversial in ASD circles.
3)She addresses “3 Main Emotions that Motivate Problem Behaviors” - which is fine, but problematic when she brushes past the very real physiological issues happening underneath those. She gives those a quick acknowledgment but leaves her readers without direction and answers on this very much needed topic so they can truly understand what an ASD person is experiencing and therefore how to approach it more effectively. I do appreciate that she still addresses the spiritual and moral responsibilities of an ASD person, though.
4)When addressing social/communication issues, she says, “The problem is, a spectrum kid genuinely doesn’t know how to meet others in the middle.” As if it’s always the ASD person’s flaw/fault there, when in reality many typical people don’t know how to be flexible enough to meet an ASD person in the middle. It’s sadly ironic she doesn’t consider this here as on the very next page she addresses how frequently ASD people are taunted, bullied, and manipulated by typical people, but then immediately still turns the arrow at the ASD person for “selfish and sinful” behavior it seems we “[make] excuses for.” She continues “So training your [ASD] child to understand others better is only part of your job. The other part is constantly confronting him with Christ’s claims on his life.” SO true but also so harshly directed at the ASD kid even in the direct context of a bully of a typical kid - who doesn’t even have a disorder as an excuse, right? - who is demonstrating a gross lack of understanding for atypicals, and needs confrontation for blatant meanness and cruelty vs the atypical’s unintentional yet perceived “rudeness.” The author would do well to address how parents can support their ASD kid who gets bullied instead of only making the ASD kid the bad guy, the only one who needs to change.
Basically, the main tone of the book becomes how to “improve” the ASD kid - which if done for their benefit and for their gain, great! But what the author doesn’t seem to know to factor in is the steep cost to the individual at which “improvement” (which often becomes masking) can come.
So generally speaking she shares some helpful principles and strategies, but the imbalance of a lack of understanding and knowledge of what the ASD person is actually experiencing physiologically makes it fall flat and leaves some major gaps in how to fully support that child in effective way.
The last chapter ends on a high and encouraging note focused on God’s sovereignty on who we are and what we become. So that one would be worth a read for those new to ASD parents struggling with those questions and concerns.
June 8, 2020
When a Christian author writes out her own personal opinions on therapies and specific child raising practices (I'm talking about ABA and spanking here specifically) and they use their (and maybe their church's / mainstream Christian) interpretation of the Word of God not just to support their own opinion but to supposedly CONFIRM IT, that is dangerous and very wrong. It always surprises me how easily the Gospel can be misinterpreted and misapplied. This mother seems to care about her child, she seems to recognize that God created him unique. She even encourages parents not to make it their parenting goal to create a child that is just like everyone else. That's about it for good advice in this book.. maybe a few other tidbits here and there that have to do with the mom's personal growth as a follower of God, which is valid and I always enjoy reading about personal journeys with our Creator. But the horrifying thing is this: she seems to see her son's struggles and differences pretty clearly, and yet she will not step out of her preconceived notions of what certain Christians have laid out as the formulaic dogma for what to do when any BEHAVIOR is exhibited that can be deemed "sinful" in any way. She says one thing about the grace of God and then goes right on to lay out a formula, a ritual, for spanking autistic children because they cannot understand verbal correction. This is simply not true. My fear, and the reason I'm writing the first extensive review of a book on here, is that Christian parents of newly diagnosed ASD kids will think "oh.. well I wouldn't follow this formula with my typical child but.. hmm.. I guess God calls us to do this to autistic kids.. I guess that's what is needed.." Please please do more research and review the Gospel in your mind and make more informed decisions. Spanking is one way, NOT THE ONLY WAY. ABA therapy is one way, NOT THE ONLY WAY. It is possible, contrary to what this book claims, to be a Christ-following, loving, caring parent and to support your autistic child's present and future success in life WITHOUT following the exact, rigid, and in my opinion quite unbiblical principles and formulas laid out by this author.
May 1, 2010
This is the best book I've ever read on raising an autistic child for God's glory--it's reader-friendly, full of everyday examples, and can even be applied to many non-autistic child-rearing situations. If you know of anyone with an autistic child, I encourage you to read this book and also tell them about it.
January 2, 2018
I hadn't realized this was a Christian book until it was too late. Preachy from the start, I persevered, assuming there was something to learn here, if I only chewed the meat and spit out the fat. Unfortunately, this book is all fat. On page 34 Hedrickson layed out her "Autistic Children only learn what no means by being hit" theory, and that was about the end of this book for me.
January 4, 2025
Not for our family
The author seems to genuinely love her child but a lot of the book focuses on reducing the outward expression of autism rather than truly helping the child by addressing the root causes of the behaviors. The book advocates for suppressing stims and special interests as well as other behavioral modifications that did not sit well with me.
The author seems to genuinely love her child but a lot of the book focuses on reducing the outward expression of autism rather than truly helping the child by addressing the root causes of the behaviors. The book advocates for suppressing stims and special interests as well as other behavioral modifications that did not sit well with me.
January 18, 2013
Fabulous! Practical and meaningful, with Biblical references and guidance. I related to many examples in the book.
July 18, 2015
Written compassionately by a nurse. How she helped her son with autism. Inspiring, hopeful, and helpful.
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews