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Begin Again

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Emery Larsen didn’t mean for this to happen.
Years into her relationship with Lauren, Emery recognizes that things have gone a bit…static. While she doesn’t doubt that she and Lauren still love each other, Emery can tell that something is definitely off. And she can also tell that the problem isn’t coming from her.
Until, that is, Emery’s past saunters into her present, bringing with it reminders of what could have been. The moment Emery lays eyes on Burke Calloway, her memory retreats to their long-ago big chance. Time and women have come and gone since then, but Emery has never forgotten the sparks she felt all those years ago.
Caught between her present and her past, completely uncertain of her future, Emery fumbles to find her own truth amidst the chaos of falling for someone she never thought she would see again…while still loving the woman she thought she’d be with forever.

Genre: Romance
Editor: Katherine V. Forrest
Cover Designer: Kayla Mancuso

254 pages, Paperback

First published May 14, 2020

14 people are currently reading
119 people want to read

About the author

Kat Jackson

6 books77 followers
Kat is a thirty-something-year-old high school English teacher who has been buried in and under books for thirty-some years. Kat is a lifelong learner, and currently has two masters degrees: one in English Literature, and another in Clinical & Counseling Psychology. She puts far too much stock into words, so what better thing to do than become a writer? (Truth is, she’s been writing since she was twelve years old.)
Kat lives in Pennsylvania with her cliched three cats, a whole lot of books, and some houseplants that she tries very hard to keep alive…but honestly, they’re all dead except for one. Running preserves most of Kat’s sanity, and in her “spare time” she also works as a mental health therapist.

Librarian note: Multiple authors with the same name in the GR database; this author is entered with 2 spaces.

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5 stars
24 (42%)
4 stars
15 (26%)
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13 (23%)
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3 (5%)
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1 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
Profile Image for Lex Kent.
1,683 reviews9,875 followers
May 12, 2020
3.50 Stars. This was a good quality debut. I’m a fan of reading debut books since I love finding new authors. Bella has a good track record with debut authors so I was excited to see what Jackson had to bring to the table. I’m happy to say that I enjoyed this. The book did have a few debut bumps but I found the bumps to be in the story choices, which is more of a personal preference for each reader. When it came to the actual writing I thought it was well done and didn’t have the normal debut problems I expected.

This book is about when a long term relationship hits a real bump in the road. Do you do nothing and let things get worse? Do you fight for your relationship or do you have to move on? This is Emery’s story and she must find these answers and also answer the most important one… is she still in love with her girlfriend?

The last few months I have been craving lots of angst and relationship drama. I’m happy to say that this book fit the bill for me. It’s what I have wanted to read about and I enjoyed all the relationship conflict. I also liked that I didn’t know how this book would end. I had an idea, but the book could go in a different direction so I wasn’t sure. I have been reading books that feel pretty predictable lately so I liked the feeling of not knowing for sure.

There have been some mentions, in early reviews, that the main character Emery is not the most likeable. I can see why people would say that and I’m guessing Jackson will make her main a bit more likeable in books to come. But for me, I didn’t really mind Emery. For one, I was really happy to be back in first person which was Emery’s POV. So few authors write in first anymore and I’ve missed it. Two, while I didn’t like Emery’s choices and how her job is about communicating and she can’t communicate with her own girlfriend, I felt she was written correctly in a flawed way. I felt like her actions make sense with why she is in a relationship that has issues. So while Emery is not the type of personality I really click with, I thought she made sense for the story.

My main issue with this book is slightly spoilerish. I was going to not put the spoiler tag on this but I’m just going to be over cautious just encase. This was the main story choice debut bump that I mentioned at the beginning of this review.

While I can see this book not being everyone’s cup of tea, I enjoyed this read and stayed up way too late reading last night. I needed some good relationship drama, which this delivered, so I was definitely entertained. The quality of writing for this debut was well done and I will be keeping my eye out for this author in the future.

An ARC was given to me for a honest review.
Profile Image for Pin.
457 reviews384 followers
May 6, 2020
Nicely done for a debut novel. The writing is solid with good dialogue. This is often the main problem for first book authors, but here it is done really well.
The book is written in first person, from the point of view of the protagonist Emery Larsen. She is in fact the only real main character here. Her partner of nearly five years Lauren and friend from the college past Burke are definitely secondary in importance to her, not her equal as characters at all. Unfortunately, I find Emery to be a rather pathetic, unlikable character. For the most part of the book, she irritated me and prevented me from rating the book higher than three stars, regardless of quality writing.
I am also not satisfied with the rushed and happy-for-now type of ending. Even the average HFN ending is usually more convincing than this one.
Regardless of my objections, this is an okay read for a debut novel, but if I could get more attached to the main character and her way of thinking and acting, this would have been a much better story for me. Will certainly read the author's next book.

3 stars
May 6, 2020
*A review copy of this book was provided by the publisher.*
Profile Image for Carrie.
404 reviews
June 7, 2020
Emily has been living with Lauren for 5 years and things have not been going well between them. Lauren hasn't been sleeping in their bed and has been generally standoffish. Emily doesn't know what is wrong, and to make matters worse, Lauren doesn't like to have emotional discussions.

Struggling with a way to work through their issues on her own, Emily focuses on her work. Her team infiltrates companies that need help with communication. Their new assignment lands her at a company where she runs into, Burke, an old acquaintance from New York. Burke, who she had a strong connection with back then and it doesn't seem as if that chemistry has been lost.

I love a good amount of angst in my books, and this one was full of it. I mean, a book that starts off with a long term relationship on the rocks is certainly qualified for some drama. But this book really crosses the line of morality for me. Much of the angst was based upon Emily's attraction to Burke and what that means in terms of her failing relationship with Lauren. Emily's behaviors and actions made it hard for me to like her. This was written well and the situations were handled realistically and that is probably why it was so hard for me to connect. I wanted to root for the budding relationship between Emily and Burke, but it never felt exactly right.

There were some surface level side characters peppered both in the workplace and in their personal lives to help the story move along. None of them were super fleshed out.

Overall, this was an OK read when you're in the mood for some infidelity drama.

I recommend this to people who like to read about stagnant relationships, corporate jobs, reconnecting with old crushes, non-communication, cheating, and coffee.

I received an ARC from the publisher for an honest review.
Profile Image for Betty.
649 reviews91 followers
May 25, 2020
This review for Begin Again is going to be a bit of a mixed bag. This is a debut novel by Kat Jackson, and overall I'm impressed by her writing skills.

The story is clear and well-written. The characters are also well-developed and very real, including all the faults and idiosyncrasies we expect to see in real life. This is a character driven story so character development is very important. The tale is written in first person POV through the eyes of the main character Emery. Unlike most romance themed books, she is the only main character. Everyone else, including the possible love interests are secondary characters. This is also a relationship themed tale about past, present and future relationships, and how they can sometimes get all tangled up. Seeing through the eyes of a main character can really impact how we experience the story. Unfortunately, I did not like Emery as a “person”, and so I had a hard time connecting with her. In this case, having another main character might have allowed me another chance to bond with the story. If you like a well-written relationship-themed romance with real and flawed characters, you might like this novel.

I’m giving this a 3.5 star rating, and moving it to 4 stars overall for the writing skills of Ms. Jackson. I will also be looking for future novels from this author.

I received an ARC from Netgalley and Bella Books for an honest review.
Profile Image for Aleana.
726 reviews20 followers
May 10, 2020
I received an ARC copy of this book from the Publisher via Netgalley and voluntarily leaving my review.

Emery and her girlfriend Lauren has been together for four years going on five but it’s seems something not right with their relationship anymore. Emery notice this because they having been intimate or sleeping in the same bed recently.

When their friend Meredith comes to stay with them because she need to get away from problems she having. She becomes more of talk to between them. Lauren hasn’t been herself we learn it’s because she having jobs problems.

As Emery trying to figure out what happening in her relationship which I find ironic because she a
communication specialist that she finds it hard to talk to Lauren but when old friend Burke is employed by the firm she working at a time in her life she always wanted to get to know Burke but at that time she had a girlfriend but time isn’t different now then it was back then but this times circumstances is pushing her to get to know her better.

This was ok read. When your in a relationship you need to communicate even if it’s something you don’t want to hear because ignoring the problems won’t work it’ll create bigger problems that you might not be able to fix.
Profile Image for KarenC.
334 reviews
April 2, 2021
Wow, what an emotional, angst-filled debut. I can't WAIT for whatever comes next. This story is written in first person present tense, and honestly it feels like the author is telling me a story that actually happened, and in great detail. I had no idea how it would end, and I couldn't put it down until I know.
383 reviews
May 24, 2020
Set in Portland Oregon, Begin Again is Kat Jackson's debut novel, which details the unravelling relationship between communications specialist, Emery, and her girlfriend of five years, Lauren. As their bond and love begin to fade away, Lauren meets Burke Calloway again. She and Burke spent some time together at a party years ago in New York City and it was one of those meetings with instant chemistry and communication that neither have forgotten. But they never exchanged personal information after that one night they spent talking on a balcony in NY.

Lauren and her co-workers are brought in as communications consultants at Whitmore, where Burke works, to improve working relationships. She and Burke learn that they will be working together over a period of several
weeks. Their relationship grows during this time period, while Em and Lauren's relationship falters.

This debut novel was well written, with a good pace, and I could sympathize with the characters.

A shout out to the author in regard to Burke and Em's first "non-date", (i.e. professional outing) when they were trying to maintain their distance. Burke took Em to a Chris Pureka concert. She is one of my favorite artists and is a mainstay to the Portland music scene after having moved there from the east coast eight years ago.

I received an ARC from Bella Books and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Profile Image for Kat.
666 reviews12 followers
May 27, 2020
This is extremely moving story. I think it took me all but whole day to finish it.
I love the story not only because it is so close to what I went through but also because it is so extremely positive and beautiful. You can almost feel what the characters are going through. The whole relationship between Em and Laura and Em and Burke is very touching. I sometimes wonder what one person would do in situation like that. How to move. How to end. How to grow.
I am absolutely positive, I will be looking for more from Kat Jackson in the future!
239 reviews20 followers
May 21, 2020
Begin Again is one of the most beautiful, heart-rending, and thought provoking books I've read.

I want to get this out of the way early on; if you've read the blurb you will have guessed that our main character, Emery begins to think about cheating on her long term girlfriend. I know cheating is generally taboo in lesbian literature but please don't let that put you off this truly remarkable book. Kat Jackson manages the rare feat of making a lesfic novel that toys with infidelity, meaningful and elegant.

Emery is a business consultant, who despite helping people to communicate better in her working life, struggles with this in her personal life. Her relationship with Lauren, who she shares a house and her life with, is falling apart because they rarely really talk. Jackson uses first person narrative, which not only allows us access to Emery's innermost thoughts but gives the text a conversational feel. We experience her doubt and loss at Lauren's distant behaviour, her intense rush of excitement at meeting Burke after so many years, as well as her crippling guilt and shame for even contemplating doing anything that could lead to losing Lauren. Despite her flaws, I couldn't help but identify with Emery; the pain and loneliness she felt she felt in her own home, how she spoke about her previous relationship with an emotionally abusive ex, and of course her fabulous relationship with her best friend, Alison. (I believe Alison is getting her own book, which is most-excellent news!)

While this all might sound a bit grim, it does have plenty of light-hearted moments too. Emery's friendship with Burke is a delight to watch unfold, and her colleague Caren is highly entertaining. Above all, it does show some light at the end of the tunnel. Hope is a deeply buried seam of a precious metal that undercuts this whole book, and fittingly, it does let its light shine through.
Profile Image for WLWBookReader.
31 reviews
May 29, 2020
This story is not a formula romance; in fact, maybe it's not a romance at all. Begin Again is a story about a couple trying to navigate the death spiral of their relationship. Emery is a communications analyst who teaches professionals the skills to communicate effectively. Her skills are dismal in her personal life. Lauren is an engineer who has a history of not expressing her feelings and needs. They have been together five years, and neither is currently getting what they want or desire from the other. During this challenging time, Burke, an acquaintance from Emery’s past reappears and captures Emery’s attention.
This debut novel is well-written and hard to put down. I liked that I did not know exactly where the story was headed and could not predict all the behaviors of the characters. Witnessing this relationship’s demise is a bit disconcerting, but so many of its elements reflect real-life circumstances that ring true. You think you should be with a person forever, but then realize the deep love you once felt no longer exists. Having hard conversations, being honest with yourself and others, and finally acting on what is for the best has an emotional toll. Still, it is necessary to move forward, and Emery and Lauren both make unwise choices in their mutual path of destruction. I loved Emery's first-person voice and thought it a brilliant choice because of its limited and unreliable perception as things unravel. It left me wondering about Lauren’s unseen actions, and Burke remained a bit of an appealing mystery. I enjoyed reading this well-crafted, compelling book.
Profile Image for LesReview.
93 reviews30 followers
May 15, 2020
Overall for a debut author I thought this book was well written and actually would love to read the next book by Kat Jackson. This book was just not my cup of tea especially with the lesbian cliche of a bunch of cheating involved. If I read a synopsis of a book and know that cheating will be involved I usually wont pick it up because it causes me to not really want to get immersed with the characters and I end up not liking them which happened with the main character Emery.
Emery and the other main character Lauren have been together for 5 years and Emery hasn’t been happy in the relationship for awhile and the story is written from Emery’s point of view. Lots of angst and drama for sure but has a quick happy ending.
I give this book 3.5 stars and just want others to know that again it is a well written book and not the authors fault that I have my own personal issues with books when cheating is involved.

I received this ARC copy via NetGalley and publisher for an honest review. Many thanks!!
Profile Image for susan fleming.
8 reviews1 follower
July 6, 2020
Honest, raw and uncomfortable. An incredible book.

This is quite possibly one of the best Lesbian romance novels I have ever had the pleasure of reading. I say pleasure but trust me this book is written with such emotional detail and honesty it isn't comfortable reading nor is it intended to be. Detailing the slow death of one relationship and the emergence of another Em the main character is forced to reevaluate everything around her.
When it hurts to read then you know the author is unveiling the truth and I applaude the honesty and bravery with which this book was written.

It shows an integrity in the writing which is so often sold away by other authors to achieve sales figures.
Profile Image for Jacqueline Allan.
536 reviews9 followers
May 13, 2020
A sincere thank you to the publisher, author and Netgalley for providing me with an ebook copy of this book in exchange for a fair and honest review.

I really enjoyed this book. I felt invested in the main character from the very start. It was an easy read and I did it all in one sitting. The only thing that annoyed me was the predictable nature of gay women cheating on one another. It’s always the same in lesbian storylines so I had high hopes this one didn’t. I was disappointed but still enjoyed the storyline.

4 🌟🌟🌟🌟 stars
296 reviews2 followers
June 26, 2023
Lots of emotions …

Emery’s journey to herself was one of confidence and expertise in her professional life, however, chaos, deceit, and enormous angst in her personal life. She was slowly losing her partner of five years to falling out of love with Lauren and rapidly falling in love with Burke who could see inside Emery’s soul. A well written, very good read. Powerful secondary characters were vital in Emery, Lauren, and Burke’s lives. I unequivocally and heartily recommend this and any other works by Kat Jackson. Thank you Peace
1 review
May 22, 2020
I loved this story! Kat Jackson takes her time to develop the characters at the beginning of the novel, so the reader feels like they really know them. Once that happens, the reader joins Emery's journey and is emotionally invested in her struggles. There were times throughout reading that I needed to put the book down, to process how much emotion is was stirring within me. Dive into Jackson's debut novel; you'll be glad you did!
Profile Image for Misha.
1,700 reviews68 followers
May 4, 2024
This was close to a DNF because I was not enjoying the subject matter (cheating, incredibly bizarre lack of communication with literally anyone) but it was short enough to get through fairly quickly. How hard is it to have a literal conversation with anyone? Apparently impossible, according to this book where Emery is unable to converse with her long term partner and also not with her new love interest who is constantly flirting and taking her on dates. Absolutely bizarre and not fun.
Profile Image for AGC.
319 reviews17 followers
August 28, 2022
When Kat Jackson says she dislikes tropes, believe her, she kicks them to the curb in this debut novel; and it’s not a bad thing.
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews

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