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The Pale-Faced Lie
Growing up on the Navajo Indian Reservation, David Crow and his siblings idolized their dad. Tall, strong, smart, and brave, the self-taught Cherokee regaled his family with stories of his World War II feats. But as time passed, David discovered the other side of Thurston Crow, the ex-con with his own code of ethics that justified cruelty, violence, lies, and even murder.
A shrewd con artist, Thurston intimidated David with beatings to coerce him into doing his criminal bidding. David's mom, too mentally ill to care for her children, couldn't protect him. One day, Thurston packed up the house and took the kids, leaving her homeless and destitute. Soon he remarried, and David learned that his stepmother was just as vicious and abusive as his father.
Through sheer determination, and with the help of a few angels along the way, David managed to get into college and achieve professional success. When he finally found the courage to refuse his father’s criminal demands, he unwittingly triggered a plot of revenge that would force him into a showdown with Thurston Crow.
With lives at stake, including his own, David would have only twenty-four hours to outsmart his father—the brilliant, psychotic man who bragged that the three years he spent in the notorious San Quentin State Prison had been the easiest time of his life.
The Pale-Faced Lie is a searing, raw, palpable memoir that reminds us what an important role our parents play in our lives. Most of all, it’s an inspirational story about the power of forgiveness and the ability of the human spirit to rise above adversity.
A shrewd con artist, Thurston intimidated David with beatings to coerce him into doing his criminal bidding. David's mom, too mentally ill to care for her children, couldn't protect him. One day, Thurston packed up the house and took the kids, leaving her homeless and destitute. Soon he remarried, and David learned that his stepmother was just as vicious and abusive as his father.
Through sheer determination, and with the help of a few angels along the way, David managed to get into college and achieve professional success. When he finally found the courage to refuse his father’s criminal demands, he unwittingly triggered a plot of revenge that would force him into a showdown with Thurston Crow.
With lives at stake, including his own, David would have only twenty-four hours to outsmart his father—the brilliant, psychotic man who bragged that the three years he spent in the notorious San Quentin State Prison had been the easiest time of his life.
The Pale-Faced Lie is a searing, raw, palpable memoir that reminds us what an important role our parents play in our lives. Most of all, it’s an inspirational story about the power of forgiveness and the ability of the human spirit to rise above adversity.
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First published May 7, 2019
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About the author
David Crow
2 books964 followersDavid Crow is the author of the award-winning memoir
The Pale-Faced Lie.
David spent his early years on the Navajo Indian Reservation in Arizona and New Mexico. Through grit, resilience, and a thirst for learning, he escaped his abusive childhood, graduated from college, and built a successful lobbying firm in Washington, DC. Today, he is a mentor, speaker, and advocate for women and children. He donates a percentage of his royalties from The Pale-Faced Lie to Barrett House, a homeless shelter for women in Albuquerque.
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David spent his early years on the Navajo Indian Reservation in Arizona and New Mexico. Through grit, resilience, and a thirst for learning, he escaped his abusive childhood, graduated from college, and built a successful lobbying firm in Washington, DC. Today, he is a mentor, speaker, and advocate for women and children. He donates a percentage of his royalties from The Pale-Faced Lie to Barrett House, a homeless shelter for women in Albuquerque.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 2,768 reviews
March 9, 2019
This book is just as amazing as the author who wrote it. David is a life long friend - since we sat together in 7th period Science at Kensington Junior High over 50 years ago. David was always a good story teller. Kids would gather around his desk to hear stories of living on an Indian reservation in Arizona. Even our teacher would delay class so he could finish his latest story. When we ran track together at Walter Johnson High School he would have all the long distance runners roaring with laughter at his quick wit. When I lunched with him Congressman and Senators would interrupt us to ask his advice on pending legislation. Once an angry federal department head lashed out about how American Indians had taken over the Department of Interior and David calmly used his first hand experience of the conditions that they faced to both calm her and create sympathy for them. David uses this same skill in writing this book. I read this book day after day to my 95 year old dad who had suffered a broken hip. I read him many books, but this was his favorite. Both of us marveled at what deep, dark secrets from this man that we both thought we knew well. What I marveled at is how he not only faced down his vindictive and manipulative father, but also went on to create a highly successful lobbying business and father remarkable children. When you read his book you wonder if it is fiction. It is too exciting, too pathetic, too dramatic. You will wonder how David and his siblings survived. But he not only survived but he prevailed.
June 28, 2020
Audiobook.... ( memoir), narrated by Kaipo Schwab
I felt every peak and valley of David Crow’s emotional memoir.
It’s filled with hurt!
It’s painfully honest!
It’s devastatingly sad!
After all is said and done — after neglect, abuse, murder, wrongdoings—
chaos, dysfunction—
HEARTBREAK—
After the shocking and unbelievable, unimaginable, horrific life traumas—
What remains, long after reading — is the power of forgiveness. NOT JUST THE PRETEND TECHICAL ASPECTS of FORGIVENESS.....
but the grueling process leading up to it - the almost impossible ability to do so- and the fight with oneself to let it all go > the blame, the injustice, the anger and judgments, the righteousness, ( even when right), ..... to experience wholeness- inner peace - and love.
.... extremely insightful, inspiring, and captivating.
I asked myself...
“If I lived through the childhood that David did...
would I have been able to forgive *everything*?
And if not....why?
And it not...would I suffer inside forever?
Is forgiveness the only way out?
The gripping ‘hard-knock-life-events, David survived,
left me with deep thoughts about forgiveness.
The ‘take-away’ power was his strength and personal humanity.
I’m left examining forgiveness to its fullest.
This intimate ‘true-story’
made me think about nature versus nurture!
David Crow’s coming- of age obstacles we’re beyond challenging...
His character of a human being is nonpareil!!!
4.5 star rating ....
I felt every peak and valley of David Crow’s emotional memoir.
It’s filled with hurt!
It’s painfully honest!
It’s devastatingly sad!
After all is said and done — after neglect, abuse, murder, wrongdoings—
chaos, dysfunction—
HEARTBREAK—
After the shocking and unbelievable, unimaginable, horrific life traumas—
What remains, long after reading — is the power of forgiveness. NOT JUST THE PRETEND TECHICAL ASPECTS of FORGIVENESS.....
but the grueling process leading up to it - the almost impossible ability to do so- and the fight with oneself to let it all go > the blame, the injustice, the anger and judgments, the righteousness, ( even when right), ..... to experience wholeness- inner peace - and love.
.... extremely insightful, inspiring, and captivating.
I asked myself...
“If I lived through the childhood that David did...
would I have been able to forgive *everything*?
And if not....why?
And it not...would I suffer inside forever?
Is forgiveness the only way out?
The gripping ‘hard-knock-life-events, David survived,
left me with deep thoughts about forgiveness.
The ‘take-away’ power was his strength and personal humanity.
I’m left examining forgiveness to its fullest.
This intimate ‘true-story’
made me think about nature versus nurture!
David Crow’s coming- of age obstacles we’re beyond challenging...
His character of a human being is nonpareil!!!
4.5 star rating ....
September 9, 2019
This is a heartbreaking, utterly riveting memoir. The writing is absolutely fantastic. Crow describes growing up under circumstances I cannot image surviving. With an abusive father and mentally disturbed mother, his older sister became the de facto mother at the age of seven to him, who was then three, and little baby Sam.
For a long time, his father wouldn’t let him get glasses that his teachers said he needed. Even when David could finally see, he was diagnosed with dyslexia, which his father decided meant that David was stupid, and there was no way that he was going to pay for his son to have any help learning to read.
The violence and hideous living conditions David Crow describes growing up with are gut wrenching. What could it be like to know your father is a murderer with no remorse, someone who would easily kill you and actively tried to get you to help kill your mother (when you were ten years old) and then stepmother? The whole story is harrowing, but it makes for a fast, unputdownable read.
For more reviews, please visit http://www.theresaalan.net/blog
For a long time, his father wouldn’t let him get glasses that his teachers said he needed. Even when David could finally see, he was diagnosed with dyslexia, which his father decided meant that David was stupid, and there was no way that he was going to pay for his son to have any help learning to read.
The violence and hideous living conditions David Crow describes growing up with are gut wrenching. What could it be like to know your father is a murderer with no remorse, someone who would easily kill you and actively tried to get you to help kill your mother (when you were ten years old) and then stepmother? The whole story is harrowing, but it makes for a fast, unputdownable read.
For more reviews, please visit http://www.theresaalan.net/blog
March 15, 2019
I know Dave personally and have worked with him professionally. Over the years we've attended social events, sporting events, business meetings, and have golfed together. In the course of our conversations I've picked up numerous snippets of his family relationships, hints of abuse, many stories of his childhood antics, and experiences of growing up on a reservation. I've witnessed, first hand, his present social values and work ethics. Yet, when I read the book I was absolutely dumbfounded. The book was brutally revealing, shocking, and hilarious all at the same time. I was constantly "rooting for the good guys," completely forgetting that I already knew the end of the story. I read a lot and flew through this book. It was almost impossible for me to put down and I kept asking myself if I enjoyed it so much because I knew Dave or because it was an outstanding book. I came to the conclusion that Dave is a good friend and a great guy who happened to write an outstanding book that most people will enjoy.
August 31, 2022
Kokia tragiška istorija. Apie vyrą ir moterį, kurie neturėjo tinkamų įgūdžių būti tėvais. Net jei iš šono jie galėjo atrodyti kaip niekuo neišsiskirianti šeima, net jei ir vaikai juos savaip mylėjo – šis romanas yra vienas tikriausių įrodymų, kad ne visi yra pajėgūs apsaugoti, išauklėti, užauginti ir apskritai kalbėtis su vaikais bei būti jų gyvenimo ramsčiu.
Skaitydama memuarus visada esu itin atidi pati sau – sąmoningai stengiuosi nepamiršti, kad tai tikro žmogaus gyvenimas, o ne fikcija, todėl ir sutalpinti vertinimą į žvaigždutes darosi sunkiau. Knyga kiek priminė „Apšviestąją“ tuo, kad joje daug problemų kyla iš neišsilavinimo arba užsimerkimo prieš daugumos suvokiamus ir pripažįstamus gyvenimo dėsnius. Čia irgi kalbama apie uždarą bendruomenę, navahų rezervatą, kuris turi savas taisykles ir hierarchiją, o ir itin specifiškai formuoja jauną žmogų. Bet visko centre visgi yra autorius, jo brolis ir seserys ir tai, ką jiems teko iškentėti, kol buvo tampomi tarp dviejų tėvų su skirtingomis psichologinėmis ir asmeninėmis problemomis, skirtingais būdais kovoti su pykčiu, skirtingais būdais rodyti vaikams rūpestį ar meilę ar patraukti juos savo pusėn.
Nors tamsias akimirkas autorius praskaidrina pasakojimais apie vaikystės išdaigas ir užmegztas draugystes, nuo tiesos nepabėgsi – ši istorija slogi ir kartais atrodo, kad joje nėra vilties, tačiau autoriaus tvirtybė ir užsispyrimas visgi nugali. Mano nuomone, vienintelis kūrinio minusas yra kiek per didelė apimtis – antroje knygos pusėje tam tikri dalykai ima kartotis, istorijos supanašėja ir todėl jų poveikis man, kaip skaitytojai, nebebuvo toks stiprus. Bet kas aš, kad redaguočiau kito žmogaus gyvenimą. Besidomintiems memuarais ir nebijantiems istorijos apie blogus tėvus čia bus tikras atradimas.
Skaitydama memuarus visada esu itin atidi pati sau – sąmoningai stengiuosi nepamiršti, kad tai tikro žmogaus gyvenimas, o ne fikcija, todėl ir sutalpinti vertinimą į žvaigždutes darosi sunkiau. Knyga kiek priminė „Apšviestąją“ tuo, kad joje daug problemų kyla iš neišsilavinimo arba užsimerkimo prieš daugumos suvokiamus ir pripažįstamus gyvenimo dėsnius. Čia irgi kalbama apie uždarą bendruomenę, navahų rezervatą, kuris turi savas taisykles ir hierarchiją, o ir itin specifiškai formuoja jauną žmogų. Bet visko centre visgi yra autorius, jo brolis ir seserys ir tai, ką jiems teko iškentėti, kol buvo tampomi tarp dviejų tėvų su skirtingomis psichologinėmis ir asmeninėmis problemomis, skirtingais būdais kovoti su pykčiu, skirtingais būdais rodyti vaikams rūpestį ar meilę ar patraukti juos savo pusėn.
Nors tamsias akimirkas autorius praskaidrina pasakojimais apie vaikystės išdaigas ir užmegztas draugystes, nuo tiesos nepabėgsi – ši istorija slogi ir kartais atrodo, kad joje nėra vilties, tačiau autoriaus tvirtybė ir užsispyrimas visgi nugali. Mano nuomone, vienintelis kūrinio minusas yra kiek per didelė apimtis – antroje knygos pusėje tam tikri dalykai ima kartotis, istorijos supanašėja ir todėl jų poveikis man, kaip skaitytojai, nebebuvo toks stiprus. Bet kas aš, kad redaguočiau kito žmogaus gyvenimą. Besidomintiems memuarais ir nebijantiems istorijos apie blogus tėvus čia bus tikras atradimas.
December 12, 2024
Much of this book was full of trauma, and while I don’t want to downplay any of it, there’s been so much written about disgusting wrongs people have endured by those who supposedly love them that it was also hard to read with a high compassion meter. I had to keep reminding myself that these are experiences no one should have to face at any age. I hope David Crow finds a great therapist to help him.
That said, chapter 46 blew me out of the water. I couldn’t believe it. No one knows where the crux of chapter 46 came from, but wow, it explained so much of why their lives was so. From there, the steps he had to take to protect himself and all the people who hadn’t shown him any bit of caring and the good people he worked with in DC made me rethink my own injuries and whether or not have the capacity to forgive and let go.
Rounding this up to a five. Started as a four, but as I write this review, I realize it should be a five.
That said, chapter 46 blew me out of the water. I couldn’t believe it. No one knows where the crux of chapter 46 came from, but wow, it explained so much of why their lives was so. From there, the steps he had to take to protect himself and all the people who hadn’t shown him any bit of caring and the good people he worked with in DC made me rethink my own injuries and whether or not have the capacity to forgive and let go.
Rounding this up to a five. Started as a four, but as I write this review, I realize it should be a five.
August 16, 2022
This memoir is about a dysfunctional family and a cruel sinister father. It contains descriptions of excessive corporal punishment, but I found the father's encouragement and praise of cruel and destructive behavior on the part of his four children as particularly reprehensible. The author as oldest son was repeatedly utilized as an accomplice in criminal action and once an apparent murder. There's no indication that the author's father was ever charged for the crimes described in the book.
The father is a self described Cherokee who learned how to kill as a veteran of World War II. By the end of the book these claims are shown to be untrue. Was he the killer he claimed to be? His father talked about the need to kill their mother and later their step mother, but all he managed to do was ask for the assistance from his children. If he was such a murder, why did he need their help?
When their father wanted to leave his wife he coached his children in ways to act that would drive their mother into inappropriate behavior that could be used against her in a custody hearing. Then they moved to a new location when their mother was gone and didn't tell her where they moved to.
With the father living so many lies I began to doubt the veracity of some of the other stories in this book. All the siblings in this family seem to have come through this family background surprisingly well, which makes me wonder about the truth of the book's description of lack of support. How could the author afford to join a college fraternity while supporting his own way through college?
I wondered on several occasions whether the author was proud of the nasty tricks he administered to parked cars and on another occasion the rolling a big tire into traffic. I would have preferred for the author to indicate a bit of remorse for all the misery he had caused to others.
As with most dystopian memoirs the reader knows the author survived because he was able two write the book. As one can expect there was a resolution of sorts when his father was near death. But I didn't feel much comfort from this ending.
Reading the descriptions of bad parenting and child misbehavior in this book was a painful experience. I know there are families like this, and I'm also aware that vandalism is a real thing. Perhaps it's good for me to learn a bit of the lives of the people behind this behavior.
The father is a self described Cherokee who learned how to kill as a veteran of World War II. By the end of the book these claims are shown to be untrue. Was he the killer he claimed to be? His father talked about the need to kill their mother and later their step mother, but all he managed to do was ask for the assistance from his children. If he was such a murder, why did he need their help?
When their father wanted to leave his wife he coached his children in ways to act that would drive their mother into inappropriate behavior that could be used against her in a custody hearing. Then they moved to a new location when their mother was gone and didn't tell her where they moved to.
With the father living so many lies I began to doubt the veracity of some of the other stories in this book. All the siblings in this family seem to have come through this family background surprisingly well, which makes me wonder about the truth of the book's description of lack of support. How could the author afford to join a college fraternity while supporting his own way through college?
I wondered on several occasions whether the author was proud of the nasty tricks he administered to parked cars and on another occasion the rolling a big tire into traffic. I would have preferred for the author to indicate a bit of remorse for all the misery he had caused to others.
As with most dystopian memoirs the reader knows the author survived because he was able two write the book. As one can expect there was a resolution of sorts when his father was near death. But I didn't feel much comfort from this ending.
Reading the descriptions of bad parenting and child misbehavior in this book was a painful experience. I know there are families like this, and I'm also aware that vandalism is a real thing. Perhaps it's good for me to learn a bit of the lives of the people behind this behavior.
August 3, 2022
Kai galvoji, kad negali būti baisesnės šeimos už Apšviestoji, pamatai, kad tikrai gali. Taros tėtis tikrai daug geresnis, nei David. Abi knygos panašios tuo, kad pagrindinius herojus, nuo toksiškų tėvų išgelbsti išsilavinimas.
Knyga pilna veiksmo, neduoda net pailsėti. Kiekviename skyriuje kažkas įvyksta. Tai kokia nelaimė, nuotykis ar išdaiga. Patiko, kad toje visiškoje tamsoje, kurioje gyvena David vis atsiranda mažyčių šviesos blyksnelių, kurie daro gyvenimą labiau pakenčiamu.
David turėjo labai sunkią vaikystę ir kokį receptą pateikia nuo viso to pagyti? Atleidimą.
Knyga pilna veiksmo, neduoda net pailsėti. Kiekviename skyriuje kažkas įvyksta. Tai kokia nelaimė, nuotykis ar išdaiga. Patiko, kad toje visiškoje tamsoje, kurioje gyvena David vis atsiranda mažyčių šviesos blyksnelių, kurie daro gyvenimą labiau pakenčiamu.
David turėjo labai sunkią vaikystę ir kokį receptą pateikia nuo viso to pagyti? Atleidimą.
February 12, 2020
I want to start by saying how happy I am that David Crow decided to share his story and write The Pale-Faced Lie. As someone who also had a difficult childhood (although the craziness ended for me when I was 12 and I wasn't a little hellion) I can understand how hard it would be to put your story out in the world for people to judge. His experiences were so hard to read about, but I'm glad I had a chance to read this book and I applaud him for writing it.
The Pale-Faced Lie really opened my eyes to what life was like on a Navajo Indian Reservation in the 50s and 60s and I feel like I learned a lot of different things, not just about the author's life. I also really liked the pictures that were included in the book and I really wish there had been more of them. I love memoir's that include pictures so I can get little snapshots of what people actually looked like and put names to faces. Crow has a fascinating life story, and one that I know will stick with me a long time. His dad was an interesting, to put it nicely, man and I couldn't believe some of the things that happened in this book.
I ended up reading the beginning of The Pale-Faced Lie, but then I switched over to audio which I think is the way to go with this book. Even though the author doesn't narrate it, I really enjoyed the narrator Kaipo Schwab and think he did a fantastic job bringing David Crow's story to life. If you are going to read this book I would recommend having the physical copy for the pictures and doing the audio for actually reading it.
Song/s the book brought to mind Help! by The Beatles
Final Thought: For David Crow's story, you really do have to read it to believe it. So many crazy things happen in this book, and you definitely get the picture of what a dysfunctional family he had. I really felt for him and I wouldn't wish most of what happened on anyone no matter what. If you are looking for a fascinating memoir, you will find it in The Pale-Faced Lie!
My many thanks to the publisher for providing me with an advance review copy of this book, all opinions and thoughts are my own.
The Pale-Faced Lie really opened my eyes to what life was like on a Navajo Indian Reservation in the 50s and 60s and I feel like I learned a lot of different things, not just about the author's life. I also really liked the pictures that were included in the book and I really wish there had been more of them. I love memoir's that include pictures so I can get little snapshots of what people actually looked like and put names to faces. Crow has a fascinating life story, and one that I know will stick with me a long time. His dad was an interesting, to put it nicely, man and I couldn't believe some of the things that happened in this book.
I ended up reading the beginning of The Pale-Faced Lie, but then I switched over to audio which I think is the way to go with this book. Even though the author doesn't narrate it, I really enjoyed the narrator Kaipo Schwab and think he did a fantastic job bringing David Crow's story to life. If you are going to read this book I would recommend having the physical copy for the pictures and doing the audio for actually reading it.
Song/s the book brought to mind Help! by The Beatles
Final Thought: For David Crow's story, you really do have to read it to believe it. So many crazy things happen in this book, and you definitely get the picture of what a dysfunctional family he had. I really felt for him and I wouldn't wish most of what happened on anyone no matter what. If you are looking for a fascinating memoir, you will find it in The Pale-Faced Lie!
My many thanks to the publisher for providing me with an advance review copy of this book, all opinions and thoughts are my own.
March 1, 2020
Therapy journal, a difficult read
This one doesn't start off slow and ease into the story, not at all. Here's the opening paragraph:
"I WAS THREE AND A HALF the first time my dad told me we had to get rid of my mother. On that bitter cold morning in February, he jumped up from the table after eating his usual eggs, grits, and bacon and threw on his coat. Lonnie, Sam, and I had finished our cornflakes long before he sat down."
Well then. This will be interesting to see how it unfolds.
Except... It's not. It's a constant recurring tale that reads like this: abusive, awful father verbally, emotionally, and physically abuses the entire family. Mother is too emotionally broken - by the father or just life in general - to stop what's happening or help the kids. Author reacts by "acting out" with increasingly harmful, criminal acts with no regard to the life of those around him. Occasionally adults realize something isn't right, but do nothing to actually stop the abuse. Repeat, repeat, repeat for 80-some percent of the book.
The resolution of the author becoming an adult and trying to break the cycle with the exact criminal behavior he was taught is a blip on the radar compared with painstakingly, almost gleefully describing his earlier indiscretions, with a scant paragraph realizing that what he did was wrong.
I know, at its core, it's a tale of a boy trying to win his father's love, at any cost. While I wish the author and his family well, this story might have been better remaining as a journal than a published book, as it's difficult to find sympathy for most of the people portrayed. I regret taking the time to finish it hoping for something that just wasn't there.
Other reviewers question the accuracy of the story, thinking it's going to be proven false. I can only hope so, for sake of the author and those around him, as well as the multiple victims included.
This one doesn't start off slow and ease into the story, not at all. Here's the opening paragraph:
"I WAS THREE AND A HALF the first time my dad told me we had to get rid of my mother. On that bitter cold morning in February, he jumped up from the table after eating his usual eggs, grits, and bacon and threw on his coat. Lonnie, Sam, and I had finished our cornflakes long before he sat down."
Well then. This will be interesting to see how it unfolds.
Except... It's not. It's a constant recurring tale that reads like this: abusive, awful father verbally, emotionally, and physically abuses the entire family. Mother is too emotionally broken - by the father or just life in general - to stop what's happening or help the kids. Author reacts by "acting out" with increasingly harmful, criminal acts with no regard to the life of those around him. Occasionally adults realize something isn't right, but do nothing to actually stop the abuse. Repeat, repeat, repeat for 80-some percent of the book.
The resolution of the author becoming an adult and trying to break the cycle with the exact criminal behavior he was taught is a blip on the radar compared with painstakingly, almost gleefully describing his earlier indiscretions, with a scant paragraph realizing that what he did was wrong.
I know, at its core, it's a tale of a boy trying to win his father's love, at any cost. While I wish the author and his family well, this story might have been better remaining as a journal than a published book, as it's difficult to find sympathy for most of the people portrayed. I regret taking the time to finish it hoping for something that just wasn't there.
Other reviewers question the accuracy of the story, thinking it's going to be proven false. I can only hope so, for sake of the author and those around him, as well as the multiple victims included.
March 11, 2019
I can't fully comment about my reactions and emotions to David's autobiography. I have known him for 40 plus years as a Sigma Chi brother and close friend. I cannot write all I want to about my reactions to this true account of his life because I would give away too much background that would be a spoiler to a loving or tragic or bittersweet ending. As close to David as I am, I was shocked at events in the book. WOW! I grew up in such a loving family that was middle class and substantially financially secure. I can't believe Dave grew up to be such a NORMAL friend, parent, husband, sibling, great fraternity brother and such a productive member of society from his work on Capital Hill to Big Brother and Big Sister programs. He is an amazing guy and great friend to all who know him. His book is a true testament of love of family, where he was abused, emotionally and physically, and him overcoming so much to be such a great friend to so many and a benefit to society.
June 6, 2020
A sad story about a young man with an abusive father and a manipulative mother. Or vice versa. Or both.
Parts of the story are hard to believe: how was he able to have such detailed memories of when he was so young? How was he able to afford joining a fraternity? How did 3 of the 4 children manage to graduate from college with absolutely no family support at a time when less than 20% of the country did so?
Some parts were believable, but not understandable: why would he keep meeting up with his father when he knows that the dad is going to do something awful? why did he forgive his father so much more easily than his mother? why didn't he keep in closer contact with his brother and sisters?
It just ended up feeling too much like a promotional or vanity project for me to really be engaged.
Parts of the story are hard to believe: how was he able to have such detailed memories of when he was so young? How was he able to afford joining a fraternity? How did 3 of the 4 children manage to graduate from college with absolutely no family support at a time when less than 20% of the country did so?
Some parts were believable, but not understandable: why would he keep meeting up with his father when he knows that the dad is going to do something awful? why did he forgive his father so much more easily than his mother? why didn't he keep in closer contact with his brother and sisters?
It just ended up feeling too much like a promotional or vanity project for me to really be engaged.
January 16, 2021
i was excited to read the story of a native american man but the plot twist was he was a racist republican white man who barely knows how to write! how lovely. easily one of the worst books i read in 2020.
February 18, 2020
This is a poorly-written, outlandish story. The author claims to have an incredibly detailed memory which allows him to share so many details of his disturbing upbringing, but it's not possible to any human to remember any events that occur at age 3, nevermind detailed conversations. From the start, I was reminded of James Frey's A Million Little Pieces, which ultimately was proven to be mostly fiction. It should be a clue to everyone that the book was self published, and there are no reviews by any serious publications. As a reader, you are supposed to be impressed with the author's ability to forgive his parents and succeed in life; however, you should really be disturbed by his complicit behavior and failure to involve law enforcement when he was old enough to know better. As such, he failed to keep a dangerous man from harming additional innocent people. A victim of countless childhood traumas? Surely. But certainly not a hero as many are depicting him. And that's if any of it really happened.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 26, 2019
I was drawn into this book from page one. The memoir is well written, but it is his honesty that throws the biggest punch. You truly walk and feel with Mr Crow for the duration, a testimony that you are experiencing a great memoir. I felt fear, love, pain and the loyalty of a child. Issues of abuse and crude treatment felt hard at times. Yet the author manages to balance difficult topics with short and descriptive dialogues, even humor. Having said that, it is a miracle to me that the author has turned his life into a success. Truly any desperate situation can be turned around if we endure and keep on fighting.
July 9, 2023
Sunku suvokti, kad ši istorija tikra neišgalvota, autorius pasakoja apie sunkią savo vaikystę, apie psichopatą tėvą kuris spurtavo prieš savo vaikus, ne vieną ašarą braukiau skaitydma šią knygą. Labai patiko ši knyga, ir džiaugiuosi, kad knygos autorius užaugo geru žmogumi nepanašiu į savo tėvą.
March 30, 2021
"You can't change your childhood, but you can let it go."
The Pale-Faced Lie is definitely in the same league as Educated and The Glass Castle and I'm so glad I decided to read it. The author's descriptions of growing up with his mentally ill mother and violent, abusive father is harrowing, but I loved that it also shows the resilience of these children in rising above their childhood.
What made this dysfunctional family memoir different than the aforementioned titles is the fact that males react differently in these situations. I think where most girls try to withdraw, boys act out. Obviously boys also want to imitate their fathers, which causes a whole different set of issues when your father is abusive. The author does a brilliant job at showing us how he had to deal with all these issues and how it affected him. Lastly, I think because he was more mature when writing this memoir he had already worked through his feelings towards his parents, and I was in awe with the way he could show love to them in their later years.
Highly recommend.
January 16, 2023
Vaikystėje Deividas Krou kartu su savo broliu bei seserimis augo ne taip, kaip turėtų augti tokio amžiaus vaikai. Vyresniąjai seseriai buvo užkrauta namų buitis, nes motina dienų dienas praleisdavo ant sofos. Tuo pačiu sesuo rūpinosi ir kita sesute. O Deividas leido laiką su broliu Semu, kuris keista kaip apskritai liko gyvas..
Šios šeimos galva - tėvas Terstonas Krou. Mėgstantis vaikus auklėti diržu bei griežtu žodžiu daug dažniau nei apkabinimu ar švelnesniu žodžiu. Laikui bėgant Deividas suprato, jog tėvas turi problemų ir gana rimtų. Nuolatinės patyčios bei įžeidinėjimai, tai tik eilinė Deivido vaikystės diena.. Tačiau nepaisanr to, Deividui pavyko įstoti į universitetą bei sukurti nuostabią šeimą.
Mėgstu tikras istorijas, kurios papasakotos pačių autorių. Tad kibau į šią istoriją su dideliu susidonėjimu. Skaityti buvo tikrai įdomu, pirma knygos pusė prsskriejo nepastebimai. Kiek vėliau, man tapo truputį nuobodoka ir mano akimis, ši knyga galėjo būti ir šiek tiek trumpesnė. Tačiau nepaisant to, turėjau puikų laiką skaitydama šią knygą.
Verčiant skyrių po skyriaus, tapo vis sunkiau įsivaizduoti knygoje aprašomus įvykius. Mažasis broliukas Semas, tarsi koks katinas su devyniomis gyvybėmis. Tikrai, nuoširdžiai stebiuosi kaip jis išgyveno.
Dar kartą įsitikinau, jog ne visiems tikrai reikia auginti vaikus. Džiaugiuosi tik tuo, jog nepaisant traumuojančios vaikystės Deividas ir kiti jo šeimos nariai užaugo šviesaus proto bei geros širdies žmonėmis.
Verta skaityti šią knygą tiems, kurie nesibodi memuarų bei toksiškų santykių su tėvais.
Šios šeimos galva - tėvas Terstonas Krou. Mėgstantis vaikus auklėti diržu bei griežtu žodžiu daug dažniau nei apkabinimu ar švelnesniu žodžiu. Laikui bėgant Deividas suprato, jog tėvas turi problemų ir gana rimtų. Nuolatinės patyčios bei įžeidinėjimai, tai tik eilinė Deivido vaikystės diena.. Tačiau nepaisanr to, Deividui pavyko įstoti į universitetą bei sukurti nuostabią šeimą.
Mėgstu tikras istorijas, kurios papasakotos pačių autorių. Tad kibau į šią istoriją su dideliu susidonėjimu. Skaityti buvo tikrai įdomu, pirma knygos pusė prsskriejo nepastebimai. Kiek vėliau, man tapo truputį nuobodoka ir mano akimis, ši knyga galėjo būti ir šiek tiek trumpesnė. Tačiau nepaisant to, turėjau puikų laiką skaitydama šią knygą.
Verčiant skyrių po skyriaus, tapo vis sunkiau įsivaizduoti knygoje aprašomus įvykius. Mažasis broliukas Semas, tarsi koks katinas su devyniomis gyvybėmis. Tikrai, nuoširdžiai stebiuosi kaip jis išgyveno.
Dar kartą įsitikinau, jog ne visiems tikrai reikia auginti vaikus. Džiaugiuosi tik tuo, jog nepaisant traumuojančios vaikystės Deividas ir kiti jo šeimos nariai užaugo šviesaus proto bei geros širdies žmonėmis.
Verta skaityti šią knygą tiems, kurie nesibodi memuarų bei toksiškų santykių su tėvais.
May 19, 2020
This reads like a diary for a psychologist and I really don’t think it should have been published... it’s very repetitive (he mentions the same sentences over and over and over like there’s some great importance to them and the importance will be revealed at the end of the book). If this memoir is true, it’s tragic. But what I find really disturbing is the fact that the author’s dad seems to have gotten away with murder and that the author never said anything to authorities about it... were those murders ever investigated? Very odd that the author would be bringing all of that up in this book if it actually were real. I hated how the author went on and on and on about being a little shit of a kid, but then showed like a paragraph of remorse about it when he was older. The things he did as a kid were horrible - not funny. Anyway - this is not worth reading. I’m giving it two stars because there weren’t any grammatical errors and it was written better than most other self published titles.
May 1, 2023
Kokia skaudi, bet tikra istorija. Kuo daugiau skaičiau, tuo labiau pykau ir stebėjausi žmonių žiaurumu. Bet aišku viena: labai labai gaila vaikų, kuriem teko iškęsti labai skaudžių dalykų. Tikrai rekomenduoju.
September 11, 2020
3.5 stars
Whew, there is so much to unpack here! David Crow and his siblings were raised on a Navajo Indian Reservation by a mentally ill mother and a criminal father who served time in San Quentin for attempted murder. His childhood was full of physical and mental abuse as he and his siblings were at the mercy of their parents emotional rollercoaster. After years of threatening/plotting, their father abandoned their mother and took the children with him.
Crow’s teen years were spent moving back and forth between the Reservation and D.C. while dodging his stepmother’s humiliating punishments and his father’s dangerous schemes.
As an adult, Crow managed to attend college and eventually join politics while also contending with his father’s delusional behavior.
I’m leaving out a ton of INSANE stories, most of which involve a young man being beaten and coerced into criminal behavior by his deranged father. Some of the events here are so bizarre they feel almost unbelievable.
It’s a tough read full of violence and mental illness; my heart went out to David and his siblings having to grow up in the turmoil of unhealthy relationships and untreated mental illness.
The ending honestly felt like it was trying to build into this dramatic showdown between David and his father when it just sounded like more of the unhinged ramblings his father had spouted off throughout the entire book and didn’t lead to any resolution or any other event.
It’s hard to understand Crow’s state of mind and why he went along with his father’s schemes even after he became an adult and could walk away. I imagine it took years to understand his father could no longer control him but many events that continued still left me scratching my head.
The Pale-Faced Lie is a raw memoir I recommend to readers but caution with trigger warnings for violence/abuse (mental/physical/animal) and trauma.
For more reviews, visit www.rootsandreads.wordpress.com
Whew, there is so much to unpack here! David Crow and his siblings were raised on a Navajo Indian Reservation by a mentally ill mother and a criminal father who served time in San Quentin for attempted murder. His childhood was full of physical and mental abuse as he and his siblings were at the mercy of their parents emotional rollercoaster. After years of threatening/plotting, their father abandoned their mother and took the children with him.
Crow’s teen years were spent moving back and forth between the Reservation and D.C. while dodging his stepmother’s humiliating punishments and his father’s dangerous schemes.
As an adult, Crow managed to attend college and eventually join politics while also contending with his father’s delusional behavior.
I’m leaving out a ton of INSANE stories, most of which involve a young man being beaten and coerced into criminal behavior by his deranged father. Some of the events here are so bizarre they feel almost unbelievable.
It’s a tough read full of violence and mental illness; my heart went out to David and his siblings having to grow up in the turmoil of unhealthy relationships and untreated mental illness.
The ending honestly felt like it was trying to build into this dramatic showdown between David and his father when it just sounded like more of the unhinged ramblings his father had spouted off throughout the entire book and didn’t lead to any resolution or any other event.
It’s hard to understand Crow’s state of mind and why he went along with his father’s schemes even after he became an adult and could walk away. I imagine it took years to understand his father could no longer control him but many events that continued still left me scratching my head.
The Pale-Faced Lie is a raw memoir I recommend to readers but caution with trigger warnings for violence/abuse (mental/physical/animal) and trauma.
For more reviews, visit www.rootsandreads.wordpress.com
September 17, 2019
My daughter suggested reading this book. She is a published author and explained it may be a tough read because of the severe neglect and brutality that David, Lonnie, Sam and Sally endured.
However this is an inspirational story of how mindset and hope bring resilience. I began reading and couldn’t stop until the end.
It was engaging and had me cheering for David and his siblings all throughout the chapters.
Thank you for having the courage to tell your harsh childhood story so others can learn to have more love, understanding and empathy. We need more Evelyns, the Coach and good influencers in a young mans life to help make a difference! These angels touched his life with love and compassion when it was desperately needed. Bravo David Crow~
However this is an inspirational story of how mindset and hope bring resilience. I began reading and couldn’t stop until the end.
It was engaging and had me cheering for David and his siblings all throughout the chapters.
Thank you for having the courage to tell your harsh childhood story so others can learn to have more love, understanding and empathy. We need more Evelyns, the Coach and good influencers in a young mans life to help make a difference! These angels touched his life with love and compassion when it was desperately needed. Bravo David Crow~
June 22, 2020
I found this book, which I listened to on Audible, immensely frustrating. It is supposedly the autobiographical narrative of David Crow, who underwent a really terrible childhood as one of four neglected and abused children born to a hapless mentally ill mother and a delusional psychopath of a father. The first 2/3 of the book, dealing with his life up until middle school, recounts his adventures in NM and AZ, some of which occurred on the Navajo reservation. As a child, Crow took gleeful pleasure in a kind of sadism and destructiveness toward other people that is recounted in the book in excruciating detail, all while alternately being neglected by his mother and beaten on by his father. The reader is subjected to such pornographic levels of child abuse that one thinks "this cannot be real" and "where were the mandatory reporters"? There's also a ton of casual racism and contempt for the Navajo. Why did I finish reading the book? The experience was like that of a slow-motion trainwreck; I wanted to see how it could possibly end.
It is clear that, psychologically, Crow was still a mess at the time he wrote the book, despite managing to make it as a Republican lobbyist for the agriculture industry. Like his father, he seeks to puff himself up, requesting that readers write five-star reviews of this amateurishly-written narrative. His is not a narrative of redemption, because he never does really come to terms with his own bad actions, or cut off relations with his father. The reader senses he had respect for his father to the end of the old man's life, despite the fact that he was a murderer, a thief, a liar, and a child abuser. Crow is one of four siblings, and from interviews online it should be noted that the other three are estranged from him. Could it be because he reminds them of their father?
It is clear that, psychologically, Crow was still a mess at the time he wrote the book, despite managing to make it as a Republican lobbyist for the agriculture industry. Like his father, he seeks to puff himself up, requesting that readers write five-star reviews of this amateurishly-written narrative. His is not a narrative of redemption, because he never does really come to terms with his own bad actions, or cut off relations with his father. The reader senses he had respect for his father to the end of the old man's life, despite the fact that he was a murderer, a thief, a liar, and a child abuser. Crow is one of four siblings, and from interviews online it should be noted that the other three are estranged from him. Could it be because he reminds them of their father?
February 13, 2020
This is a difficult review to write. This should be a 5 star book, but....I find myself so utterly conflicted about what I just read. I feel like I have been punched in the gut, but not for all the same reasons as the other reviews here. Yes, the tales of horrific physical and psychological abuse are heart wrenching – That fact cannot be downplayed, and it boggles my mind how a child could survive that world. That being said….I find myself dumbfounded by the end. And that is because the author, apparently, allowed his father to remain free in the world after assisting him in disposing of the body of a murder victim.
Isn’t that a crime?
By the end his mother, who is obviously severely mentally ill, is still annoying for focusing on years of abuse and neglect, while his father is worthy of “forgiveness” because “he is still his dad”, even though he was apparently a violent, psychopathic murderer?
Somewhere someone must be wondering what happened to that person? How can the author remain silent? Maybe there is more to the story, and maybe those things were taken care of and he just didn’t write about it. I sure hope that is the case, otherwise it paints the Author as having some of the same psychopathic and anti-social tendencies as his father. What kind of human would allow an unsolved murder to remain that way. Did I miss something, folks?
Isn’t that a crime?
By the end his mother, who is obviously severely mentally ill, is still annoying for focusing on years of abuse and neglect, while his father is worthy of “forgiveness” because “he is still his dad”, even though he was apparently a violent, psychopathic murderer?
Somewhere someone must be wondering what happened to that person? How can the author remain silent? Maybe there is more to the story, and maybe those things were taken care of and he just didn’t write about it. I sure hope that is the case, otherwise it paints the Author as having some of the same psychopathic and anti-social tendencies as his father. What kind of human would allow an unsolved murder to remain that way. Did I miss something, folks?
November 5, 2022
"Niekinga žmogysta, beviltiškas padaras, dėl savo didžiulio nevisavertiškumo komplekso tiesiog apsėstas troškimo bet kokia kaina sugriauti savo vaikų gyvenimus, taip pat žmonių, nesąmoningai sukėlusių jam grėsmę, gyvenimus; buvęs kalinys su savo etikos kodeksu, pateisinantis žiaurumą, smurtą, melą ir žmogžudystę, bauginimais privertęs vyresnį sūnų vykdyti jo nusikaltimo planus"-tai tik keli apibūdinimai "tėvo", kuris net nenusipelno būti juo vadinamas.
Tikra istorija, kuri sukrės, vis dar sunku suvokti, kas buvo perskaityta,skaičiau pakraupusi, pasakojimas kokią sunkią vaikystę turėjo Deividas su savo broliu ir 2 sesėmis, viską, ką jiems reikejo išgyventi, turint tokį tėvą, mama irgi su problemomis, negalejo tinkamai pasirūpinti, o svarbiausia užstoti, apsaugoti ir apginti savo vaikus nuo tokio tirono vyro. Bet Deivido praeita sunki gyvenimo mokykla, stiprybė, ryžtas ir nepasidavimas neleis pasiduoti likimui, ir jis pagaliau po daugelio metų sulauks savo triumfo valandos geresnio gyvenimo link.
Tikra istorija, kuri sukrės, vis dar sunku suvokti, kas buvo perskaityta,skaičiau pakraupusi, pasakojimas kokią sunkią vaikystę turėjo Deividas su savo broliu ir 2 sesėmis, viską, ką jiems reikejo išgyventi, turint tokį tėvą, mama irgi su problemomis, negalejo tinkamai pasirūpinti, o svarbiausia užstoti, apsaugoti ir apginti savo vaikus nuo tokio tirono vyro. Bet Deivido praeita sunki gyvenimo mokykla, stiprybė, ryžtas ir nepasidavimas neleis pasiduoti likimui, ir jis pagaliau po daugelio metų sulauks savo triumfo valandos geresnio gyvenimo link.
March 10, 2019
An amazing true story about a boys journey to survive and ultimately succeed dispite a horrific childhood. Raised by a monster of a father, the author overcame incredible hardships growing up on the Navajo Indian reservation in Arizona. This book is a page turner, full of action and adventure. It pulls no punches, literally and figuratively. As the story's timeline unfolds it spans the country from his fathers incarceration as a violent criminal in San Quentin , to the poverty stricken Navajo reservation and hardscrabble streets of Gallup New Mexico, to the green fairways of Burning Tree Country Club in Maryland and even the halls of the US congress. The book teaches many lessons. How to love, how to hate, how to survive and overcome disabilities. Ultimately it teaches us how to flourish and forgive. Thank you Dave Crow for having the courage and conviction to share your important life story with us.
April 23, 2020
This was a powerful memoir of David Crow's life. Though hard to read at time due to the extreme abuse that was being recalled, this story is important. Some of it is hard to believe, but being someone who has seen manipulation take its course on someone's life, I know the truth can sometimes seem unbelievable.
It is hard to believe and admit that there are terrible people in the world like Crow's parents who thrive and feed off of other people's weaknesses. But in retrospect, it is imperative to remember that most people grow to understand and realize the negativity was not their fault.
I commend David Crow for growing to be the complete opposite of his parents, but yet still being able to try to have a relationship with both of them. It takes a strong person to do that.
It is hard to believe and admit that there are terrible people in the world like Crow's parents who thrive and feed off of other people's weaknesses. But in retrospect, it is imperative to remember that most people grow to understand and realize the negativity was not their fault.
I commend David Crow for growing to be the complete opposite of his parents, but yet still being able to try to have a relationship with both of them. It takes a strong person to do that.
January 10, 2023
The writing is flat. The people are not just not likable, they are barely tolerable to read about. The litany of horrific behavior becomes repetitive quickly. The reason - why is the dad a monster, why is the narrator so evil, how do all the crimes go not just unpunished but without notice or consequences, is never addressed. For 80% of the book it's a catalog of horrors, then, jarringly and without explanation everyone's circumstances change and the evil adults remain evil but prosper in a unbelievable change of setting and circumstance and the kids miraculously all wake up one day and are normal people? I found the book unbelievable, and painful work to read. I kept waiting for the pay-off, some insight, something.
January 7, 2020
I absolutely love this book.
As a child of abusive parents I really loved this book. I turned 21 and after leaving my home at age 17, I finally could meet with them without being angry. Going to college, having good friends, and being independent of my parents I finally forgave them and decided to get on with my life the way I wanted. I am not a product of their abuse but because of it I learned to work hard and save money, and not waste time feeling sorry for myself. It’s a great book, and all should read it, it’s awesome.
As a child of abusive parents I really loved this book. I turned 21 and after leaving my home at age 17, I finally could meet with them without being angry. Going to college, having good friends, and being independent of my parents I finally forgave them and decided to get on with my life the way I wanted. I am not a product of their abuse but because of it I learned to work hard and save money, and not waste time feeling sorry for myself. It’s a great book, and all should read it, it’s awesome.
June 29, 2019
What a great read. I couldn't put this book down. I related to a lot of issues in this book. I carried it where ever I went because I couldn't stop reading it. I left it at work one day and no one ever returned it. I found a copy on Amazon and purchased it. David and his siblings are real survivors. It hit close to home with my abusive childhood. After reading this book I cried and cried and felt that there was hope for me. I felt the pain of David and his siblings deep in my heart and soul. This is a must read. David and his siblings had such a horrible and abusive life but grew up to over come this and become protective citizens. I cried and cried when I finished this book because I didn't want it to end. Congratulations to David and his siblings for over coming their horrible life.
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