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Positivity: Groundbreaking Research to Release Your Inner Optimist and Thrive
Better than happiness, positivity will boost your life, not just your smile
One of the leading members of the positive psychology movement draws on cutting-edge research and lab-tested tools to explain:
• Why positivity is more important than happiness
• How it relieves depression, broadens minds, and builds lives
• How to tap into your own sources of positivity
With Positivity, you’ll learn to see new possibilities, bounce back from setbacks, connect with others, and become the best version of yourself.
One of the leading members of the positive psychology movement draws on cutting-edge research and lab-tested tools to explain:
• Why positivity is more important than happiness
• How it relieves depression, broadens minds, and builds lives
• How to tap into your own sources of positivity
With Positivity, you’ll learn to see new possibilities, bounce back from setbacks, connect with others, and become the best version of yourself.
290 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2009
586 people are currently reading
8030 people want to read
About the author
Barbara L. Fredrickson
17 books164 followersDr Barbara Fredrickson is Kenan Distinguished Professor of Psychology and principal investigator of the Positive Emotions and Psychophysiology Laboratory at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. She is a leading scholar within social psychology, affective science, and positive psychology.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 240 reviews
June 8, 2014
It's very strange that people act so antagonistic towards this book. It's written by an expert in psychology and everything in it is validated by empirical study. Yes, it's packaged as a 'self help' sort of book, but there are zero of those all-too-common, nonsensical 'folk remedies' for your psychological ailings. It's simply taking those methods that have been shown by study to work, and then advising on ways that they may be used to better one's life.
I am a bit of an afficianado/junkie for self-improvement, in particular for the qualified findings of the relatively new positive psychology field of inquiry, and I think this may be the best book that I've read on the subject so far. It's full of methods that are simple to apply daily, while remaining grounded and realistic, and it's been effective for me so far.
Along with the work of Shawn Achor, I think this is a great book to read for anyone looking who is on the journey of mastering their own state. Definitely worth the read.
I am a bit of an afficianado/junkie for self-improvement, in particular for the qualified findings of the relatively new positive psychology field of inquiry, and I think this may be the best book that I've read on the subject so far. It's full of methods that are simple to apply daily, while remaining grounded and realistic, and it's been effective for me so far.
Along with the work of Shawn Achor, I think this is a great book to read for anyone looking who is on the journey of mastering their own state. Definitely worth the read.
July 12, 2020
Interesting book. I found most of the stuff here to already be in other self-help books such as The Happiness Advantage. That being sad, this is still a good read for anyone wanting to boost their happiness ratio. The author is a professor at UNC who substantiates everything she says with hard data and facts. I’m glad she referenced Carol Dweck many times in the book!
March 4, 2010
I've been hearing wonderful things about this book from people who loved it, but frankly, I couldn't get past the first few pages without wanting to throw up. This book has a powerful and important message, but it's completely lost in the saccharine, unrealistic delivery.
Fredrickson starts the book by portraying the same scenario viewed in two different ways: In the first, you sleep through your alarm, wake up too late for your morning workout, check your email and find that one coworker has dumped their emergency project on you and another has given you 48 hours to do a complex and time-consuming task. Your preschooler wakes up early and calls for you even though you instructed her to wait until you come into her room, and then your 7-year old can't find his favorite shoes and refuses to leave the house wearing another pair. You're late for work and you snap at everyone.
In the second scenario, you wake up happy because sleeping through your alarm means that you'll have time to write in your journal about how blessed you are, you put off checking your email and go snuggle with your daughter who has woken up early. Then, when your 7 year-old can't find his shoes, you get "team family" to all hunt for them, and say that you'll reward the person who finds them by letting them be the center of a big group hug! When you find them on top of the refrigerator, everyone shares a great big laugh. When you get to work, you high five your friends.
The whole first chapter is like this. I grew up in a family that was very close, but not in a gooey syrupy way--more in a completely inappropriate humor sort of way. In fact, we used to get a Christmas card every year from a family that WAS like this, and our "bonding" time was spent sitting around the dining room table, reading their annual "look at how perfect we are" Christmas bragfest letter out-loud, and laughing at how fake and "icky" they sounded.
If harnessing my positive energy means that I have to start journaling about my ultimate life goals and offering my friends and family more group hugs, I don't think I can do it. I'm going to try this book again, (I got it on audio this time) and see if I can really get the message while filtering out all the "stupid."
**Update**
Tried this again as an audio book. 1,000 times worse.
Fredrickson starts the book by portraying the same scenario viewed in two different ways: In the first, you sleep through your alarm, wake up too late for your morning workout, check your email and find that one coworker has dumped their emergency project on you and another has given you 48 hours to do a complex and time-consuming task. Your preschooler wakes up early and calls for you even though you instructed her to wait until you come into her room, and then your 7-year old can't find his favorite shoes and refuses to leave the house wearing another pair. You're late for work and you snap at everyone.
In the second scenario, you wake up happy because sleeping through your alarm means that you'll have time to write in your journal about how blessed you are, you put off checking your email and go snuggle with your daughter who has woken up early. Then, when your 7 year-old can't find his shoes, you get "team family" to all hunt for them, and say that you'll reward the person who finds them by letting them be the center of a big group hug! When you find them on top of the refrigerator, everyone shares a great big laugh. When you get to work, you high five your friends.
The whole first chapter is like this. I grew up in a family that was very close, but not in a gooey syrupy way--more in a completely inappropriate humor sort of way. In fact, we used to get a Christmas card every year from a family that WAS like this, and our "bonding" time was spent sitting around the dining room table, reading their annual "look at how perfect we are" Christmas bragfest letter out-loud, and laughing at how fake and "icky" they sounded.
If harnessing my positive energy means that I have to start journaling about my ultimate life goals and offering my friends and family more group hugs, I don't think I can do it. I'm going to try this book again, (I got it on audio this time) and see if I can really get the message while filtering out all the "stupid."
**Update**
Tried this again as an audio book. 1,000 times worse.
March 23, 2010
While the message of this book is timely, i.e. that positivity can make a huge difference in the social world and that we should all work toward developing a more positive attitude,the scientific basis for these discoveries seems much more dubious. In fact, the book fits quite definitively into the self-help section and not the popular science section. Don't be fooled by the author's credentials or her constant (methinks she protests too much) appeals to the scientific validity of her discoveries. The science of this book is laughable and basically amounts to figuring out the atomic weight of fairy dust or the reproductive cycle of unicorns. I can't recommend this book with a straight face. A tedious read.
November 5, 2018
This book is mainly about its author. You can read between the lines what an extraordinary psychologist she is and what a wonderful life she has. Her pretentiously poetic style of writing, combined with the scientific style required by her training, resulted in me getting tired (or just bored) of reading. The information contained in the book might be interesting, although I - having read quite a few books of the kind in my life - found almost nothing really new in it.
October 31, 2009
My husband scoffed at this book, but I enjoyed it because (1) the author is a scientist, (2) she uses peer-reviewed studies as the basis of her work and fleshes it out with some qualitative and anecdotal evidence around the edges, and (3) she emphasizes that statements like "Be positive" and "Don't worry, be happy" and smiley-face logos are no help at all. In fact, she describes one study in which fake-smiling while angry actually led to heart injuries.
I would need to read this book again to get the maximum out of it.
You can take a two-minute positivity test at
I would need to read this book again to get the maximum out of it.
You can take a two-minute positivity test at
December 20, 2010
A serious, in-depth book about happiness, which the author calls positivity to distinguish from the superficial fluffy self-help happiness stuff. She defines positivity to include joy, gratitude, serenity, interest, hope, pride, amusement, inspiration, awe, and love. This book is full of results of scientific studies done by the author and others--everything she says is backed up experimentally.
The biggest take-away here is that a 3:1 ratio of positive to negative thoughts is the tipping point for flourishing. Below that, not much happens.
Positivity spurs renewal; negativity leads to decay. Positivity builds psychological strengths, like optimism, resiliency, openness, acceptance, and purpose; mental habits like mindfulness, awareness, and living in the moment; social connections; and physical health.
The book gives suggestions for reducing your negativity, including disputing negative thoughts, using healthy distractions to stop ruminating, and becoming more mindful. She makes the point that some negativity is good--if you're in a bad situation and need to do something about it, or even just acknowledge the reality of it, you need negativity. However, gratuitous negativity (excessive, redundant, ugly, unhelpful) should be minimized.
It also gives suggestions for increasing your positivity. These include finding positive meaning in your situation, making plans and goals, savoring goodness, doing and noticing kindness, following your passions, dreaming and visualizing about your future, connecting with others, and communing with nature.
The author gives some specific exercises for how to do these things, but they're mostly obvious from the lists above. Overall, an interesting and serious book that taught me a lot. As it happens, I read this right after What Happy People Know, so it was an interesting contrast. They both cover the same topic and make a lot of the same points, but What Happy People Know (also by a scholar/psychologist) is very cheery and doesn't contain a single footnote, whereas this one is all about the science. Fun stuff either way.
The biggest take-away here is that a 3:1 ratio of positive to negative thoughts is the tipping point for flourishing. Below that, not much happens.
Positivity spurs renewal; negativity leads to decay. Positivity builds psychological strengths, like optimism, resiliency, openness, acceptance, and purpose; mental habits like mindfulness, awareness, and living in the moment; social connections; and physical health.
The book gives suggestions for reducing your negativity, including disputing negative thoughts, using healthy distractions to stop ruminating, and becoming more mindful. She makes the point that some negativity is good--if you're in a bad situation and need to do something about it, or even just acknowledge the reality of it, you need negativity. However, gratuitous negativity (excessive, redundant, ugly, unhelpful) should be minimized.
It also gives suggestions for increasing your positivity. These include finding positive meaning in your situation, making plans and goals, savoring goodness, doing and noticing kindness, following your passions, dreaming and visualizing about your future, connecting with others, and communing with nature.
The author gives some specific exercises for how to do these things, but they're mostly obvious from the lists above. Overall, an interesting and serious book that taught me a lot. As it happens, I read this right after What Happy People Know, so it was an interesting contrast. They both cover the same topic and make a lot of the same points, but What Happy People Know (also by a scholar/psychologist) is very cheery and doesn't contain a single footnote, whereas this one is all about the science. Fun stuff either way.
Read
July 23, 2009I got ahold of this after I heard Dr. Fredrickson present some findings on a local radio station; I have a hipster distrust of happiness and was hoping for some charts and graphs and tales of horrible things done to monkeys in the name of cognitive science, all with the conclusion that we should take more long walks. Instead I got told to make a gratitude list; this book is much heavier on the self-help then on the science journalism and sells itself about the same as a diet plan. I hate to say this about someone who seems like such a sweet person, but Dr. Fredrickson is not a particularly strong qualitative writer (which is fair, this seems to be her first stab at book-writing) and I think happiness is a hard topic to write about without seeming insincere or smug. Her research itself seems very promising and interesting, but essentially none of it makes it into the book, which is mostly in the prescriptive/inspirational mode with occasional testimonials. I think I'll be returning this book to the bookstore lightly skimmed and then reading her actual studies in the literature. (I read the other reviews and everyone was all "too academic! Too scientific!". I do not think I am the intended audience for this book!)
I will say that the "decrease negativity" chapter is the go-to bit if you just want a rundown of what cognitive behavioral therapy says about how to interrupt negative thought patterns. It's very to-the-point and stays away from, say, group hugs. What can I say, I don't like group hugs.
I will say that the "decrease negativity" chapter is the go-to bit if you just want a rundown of what cognitive behavioral therapy says about how to interrupt negative thought patterns. It's very to-the-point and stays away from, say, group hugs. What can I say, I don't like group hugs.
August 4, 2011
Barb Fredrickson is a fellow Carl, Class of '86, and clearly head and shoulders above my intellectual level!! Still, when I saw she was receiving an alumni achievement award this year, I became interested in her "broaden and build" theory and noticed she had written a book, "Positivity," which was said to be accessible for all. Does it tell you something about my summer to know it's taken me about 2 months to work my way through this easily read, 230-page book? Barb offers many good (and scientifically proven!) tips for growing the positive side of things in our lives. She has researched this topic for 20 years and finds that we can enrich our lives in many ways by trying to "accentuate the positive," even though it's totally not possible to completely "eliminate the negative." If you are looking for a boost--of energy, happiness, joy and general personal growth in your life--this book is a great one to pick up. (I don't recommend the two-month route through it, however.... try to attack it with a little more energy than I did!!!) Great job, Barb!
September 8, 2017
Reading about the extensive body of research on the power of positivity in the midst of preparing for Irma, the most catastrophic hurricane ever hitting Florida, was quite an experience. I think most people know how important it is to remain positive, but it is reassuring to have the social science back it up and have a social scientist give you valid data to make inferences yourself. I liked this book, but I give it 3.5 because it didn't have to be this long and sometimes the argument aggregated personal life and research evidence that it would be difficult to disintegrate the science from background stories.
November 21, 2018
Lately, I've been been into psychology books.
The Moral Animal: Why We Are, the Way We Are: The New Science of Evolutionary Psychology started things; Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion and Man's Search for Meaning lent it much fuel. Positivity: Top-Notch Research Reveals the 3 to 1 Ratio That Will Change Your Life is a worthy addition to this list.
The author spends half the book supporting her thesis by describing the results of various psychology experiments. These experiments are fascinating and often lead to surprising results. For example, one psychology experiment was designed to test if positivity improves people's ability to recognize faces. The experimenters accidentally discovered that positivity actually gets rid of own-race bias in face recognition. Many previous studies have already shown that people are bad at recognizing faces of different races, but the study described here found that positivity gets rid of this.
There are many other very interesting experiments described in the book. These experiments confirm that heartfelt positivity contributes to better health and longevity as well as increased happiness and flourishing.
The author spends the other half of the book providing practical suggestions on how the reader can increase the amount of positivity in his or her life. I definitely plan to incorporate some of them into my life. This is really a great evidence-based self-help book.
Four stars for being influential, relevant, informative and interesting.
The Moral Animal: Why We Are, the Way We Are: The New Science of Evolutionary Psychology started things; Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion and Man's Search for Meaning lent it much fuel. Positivity: Top-Notch Research Reveals the 3 to 1 Ratio That Will Change Your Life is a worthy addition to this list.
The author spends half the book supporting her thesis by describing the results of various psychology experiments. These experiments are fascinating and often lead to surprising results. For example, one psychology experiment was designed to test if positivity improves people's ability to recognize faces. The experimenters accidentally discovered that positivity actually gets rid of own-race bias in face recognition. Many previous studies have already shown that people are bad at recognizing faces of different races, but the study described here found that positivity gets rid of this.
There are many other very interesting experiments described in the book. These experiments confirm that heartfelt positivity contributes to better health and longevity as well as increased happiness and flourishing.
The author spends the other half of the book providing practical suggestions on how the reader can increase the amount of positivity in his or her life. I definitely plan to incorporate some of them into my life. This is really a great evidence-based self-help book.
Four stars for being influential, relevant, informative and interesting.
February 20, 2021
Oh no, I'm going to be negative about the positivity book.
I've read several other books on positive psychology and neighboring fields, and three researchers are named in every single book: Martin Seligman, Sonja Lyubomirsky, and Barbara Fredrickson. So I figured, those people's books aren't that old, so let's go straight to the sources.
Well, there's a couple of problems with Positivity. First and foremost is that the idea of a critical positivity ratio, the central theme of the book, has since been discredited, which I unfortunately did not learn until after I finished the book and went to look up something for this review. Now that does not mean that all of the data in the book is invalid, there are other topics covered, but does suggest you might want to read something a little more recent instead.
The second major problem is that the book doesn't do a good job of giving you anything actionable to do with this information. Ostensibly the second half of the book is supposed to be advice, but it's very vague and very repetitive. For example, the "Assess Your Media Diet" is a bit more than a page musing on the violence in negativity is popular media and news, and then advising you to consume less. In contrast and as an example of what I'm looking for, another positive psychology work I've read quoted a study that found that reading the news for even a short time in the morning wrecks a person's whole day, much more than consuming it later affects them, and advises to save news for after lunch and limit to 30 minutes a day or less. Much more specific, with a 'why' and a target.
I'm afraid I have to recommend passing on this one.
I've read several other books on positive psychology and neighboring fields, and three researchers are named in every single book: Martin Seligman, Sonja Lyubomirsky, and Barbara Fredrickson. So I figured, those people's books aren't that old, so let's go straight to the sources.
Well, there's a couple of problems with Positivity. First and foremost is that the idea of a critical positivity ratio, the central theme of the book, has since been discredited, which I unfortunately did not learn until after I finished the book and went to look up something for this review. Now that does not mean that all of the data in the book is invalid, there are other topics covered, but does suggest you might want to read something a little more recent instead.
The second major problem is that the book doesn't do a good job of giving you anything actionable to do with this information. Ostensibly the second half of the book is supposed to be advice, but it's very vague and very repetitive. For example, the "Assess Your Media Diet" is a bit more than a page musing on the violence in negativity is popular media and news, and then advising you to consume less. In contrast and as an example of what I'm looking for, another positive psychology work I've read quoted a study that found that reading the news for even a short time in the morning wrecks a person's whole day, much more than consuming it later affects them, and advises to save news for after lunch and limit to 30 minutes a day or less. Much more specific, with a 'why' and a target.
I'm afraid I have to recommend passing on this one.
April 15, 2013
While the title of this book definitely makes it look like just another self-help book, this one is different.
Author Barbara L. Fredrickson has scientific backing to help give tips on what to do to improve positivity in a person's life. The first part of the book is dedicated to discussing what has been extensively researched and what kind of data has been amassed over several years, on what effects positivity have on a person's life, whether it be in the work place, at home, or dealing with strangers.
The second part of this book uses what results have been obtained from all that research, and presents tips (backed by actual research data) on how to improve your positivity. As a person with natural pessimistic tendencies, I enjoyed reading a book that, for a change, didn't simply say "do this!", but also followed it up with an explanation and followed THAT up with data supporting the claim.
Author Barbara L. Fredrickson has scientific backing to help give tips on what to do to improve positivity in a person's life. The first part of the book is dedicated to discussing what has been extensively researched and what kind of data has been amassed over several years, on what effects positivity have on a person's life, whether it be in the work place, at home, or dealing with strangers.
The second part of this book uses what results have been obtained from all that research, and presents tips (backed by actual research data) on how to improve your positivity. As a person with natural pessimistic tendencies, I enjoyed reading a book that, for a change, didn't simply say "do this!", but also followed it up with an explanation and followed THAT up with data supporting the claim.
June 6, 2021
I've never read a book that that has left me so stuck as to how to rate it!
There is a good message and in summary rests mainly on CBT and two types of meditation: mindfulness & loving kindness - a result as I have studied these previously. The meat of this book I mostly already use, and could have filled 20 pages. The first two thirds of the book read like a list of names of previous students with very thinly stretched examples and I'll not force myself through that again, there is no benefit in reading it. The referral back to the website is a little irritating, I know printing plans may be useful but we are still in an age where internet access and printing facilities are not a given.
I would recommend 'Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Finding Peace in a Frantic World' - Danny Penman and Mark Williams over this any day of the week.
There is a good message and in summary rests mainly on CBT and two types of meditation: mindfulness & loving kindness - a result as I have studied these previously. The meat of this book I mostly already use, and could have filled 20 pages. The first two thirds of the book read like a list of names of previous students with very thinly stretched examples and I'll not force myself through that again, there is no benefit in reading it. The referral back to the website is a little irritating, I know printing plans may be useful but we are still in an age where internet access and printing facilities are not a given.
I would recommend 'Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Finding Peace in a Frantic World' - Danny Penman and Mark Williams over this any day of the week.
February 10, 2016
Contrary to the main title, this book did not make me feel more positive. Perhaps it was the emphasis on research & not so much on sharing of heart string pulling stories. If I were looking to follow a scientific approach to becoming more positive, this book would have been great. I think I was looking more for a Buscaglia-ish spin on positivity.
January 17, 2018
The content is inspiring but is hugely repetitive. I feel like I read the same sentence 50 times!
January 3, 2020
Algumas notas:
A primeira parte deste livro foi fascinante para mim. Mostrou-me a quantidade certa de teoria e resultados científicos, como também de exemplos práticos e testemunhos e histórias da própria autora. A segunda parte foi mais fraca, na minha opinião. Não senti sequer que fosse o mesmo livro, que lhe falta coesão, por parecer que o registo se altera, por agora se encontrar mais próximo dum manual prático desligado da ciência, ou muito corriqueiro. Ainda assim, coloco a possibilidade em cima da mesa de este meu enfado se dever ao meu conhecimento prévio do que é a Psicologia Positiva, o que estuda, os seus objectivos e história... É provável que um total leigo ou leitor iniciante nestes assuntos retire mais proveito do balanço e aplicação da positividade do que eu.
De qualquer forma, adorei a simplicidade com que é explicado o modelo broaden-and-build e como surgiu o rácio de positividade 3-1.
A primeira parte deste livro foi fascinante para mim. Mostrou-me a quantidade certa de teoria e resultados científicos, como também de exemplos práticos e testemunhos e histórias da própria autora. A segunda parte foi mais fraca, na minha opinião. Não senti sequer que fosse o mesmo livro, que lhe falta coesão, por parecer que o registo se altera, por agora se encontrar mais próximo dum manual prático desligado da ciência, ou muito corriqueiro. Ainda assim, coloco a possibilidade em cima da mesa de este meu enfado se dever ao meu conhecimento prévio do que é a Psicologia Positiva, o que estuda, os seus objectivos e história... É provável que um total leigo ou leitor iniciante nestes assuntos retire mais proveito do balanço e aplicação da positividade do que eu.
De qualquer forma, adorei a simplicidade com que é explicado o modelo broaden-and-build e como surgiu o rácio de positividade 3-1.
February 1, 2020
Positive emotions (joy, serenity, love, etc.) are potent and astonishingly useful, Fredrickson writes. (13) She wrote this book to help readers reshape their life toward positivity for the best possible future.
First comes the studies and the science behind her book, the latest information to elighten and inspire. Pursuing positivity every day doesn't mean just saying some affirmations or giving fake smiles. In fact, faking positivity may actually do harm. (35) Sincerity is important, finding the good in every struggle. Being positive leads to a more fulfilling life, to less pain and to being better able to bounce back from adversity.
Next comes the practical part of the book, practical suggestions to take action toward being more positive. Some of her suggestions include a media diet, awareness, reframing, savoring, dreaming, connecting with others and much more. She has even provided online resources to calculate one's positivity factor.
This is a good book. It is a little academic in style but there is a great deal of useful information contained in it. We can choose to be more positive, leading to a more fulfilling life. Fredrickson gives us the information and means to do it.
First comes the studies and the science behind her book, the latest information to elighten and inspire. Pursuing positivity every day doesn't mean just saying some affirmations or giving fake smiles. In fact, faking positivity may actually do harm. (35) Sincerity is important, finding the good in every struggle. Being positive leads to a more fulfilling life, to less pain and to being better able to bounce back from adversity.
Next comes the practical part of the book, practical suggestions to take action toward being more positive. Some of her suggestions include a media diet, awareness, reframing, savoring, dreaming, connecting with others and much more. She has even provided online resources to calculate one's positivity factor.
This is a good book. It is a little academic in style but there is a great deal of useful information contained in it. We can choose to be more positive, leading to a more fulfilling life. Fredrickson gives us the information and means to do it.
October 9, 2018
If you've read other positive psychology authors (like Seligman and Lyubomirksy), then the first half of the book will feel like familiar ground. Yet the book contains many useful techniques, exercises, and ideas, and is a valuable read for anyone exploring how to be happier. (One of the last techniques is creating a "positivity portfolio" - a physical collection of objects/mementos that help you savor experiences related to the 10 positive emotions. It's something I intend to try, and that would make for a wonderful project for any individual or family.)
March 9, 2019
The most influential book of 2018, if not so far in my life.
Fredrickson provides plenty of examples where positivity is a necessary aspect of life. She gives concrete examples with numerous case studies with remarkable results.
The core concept is that negative emotions act as a catalyst for change. Negative emotions are important necessary for life. Positive emotions are a way for you to broaden and build your life which is a more beneficial state to be in.
I will be buying a physical copy to have for reference and for friends
Fredrickson provides plenty of examples where positivity is a necessary aspect of life. She gives concrete examples with numerous case studies with remarkable results.
The core concept is that negative emotions act as a catalyst for change. Negative emotions are important necessary for life. Positive emotions are a way for you to broaden and build your life which is a more beneficial state to be in.
I will be buying a physical copy to have for reference and for friends
November 17, 2019
I had a difficult time getting into the book. I didn't much care about the scientific aspects and processes, so wading through the first half of the book was a chore, and possibly tainted my reaction to the second half.
There are great nuggets in here. I've bookmarked a couple of the recommended websites.
There are great nuggets in here. I've bookmarked a couple of the recommended websites.
January 24, 2022
4 stars based on the research that buttresses most of Frederickson's assertions. She's one of the leaders in the positive psychology movement. She has some practical tools here too, making it actionable.
September 12, 2020
Chapter 1: waking up to positivity: Take 1 seeing everything negative when you wake up: overslept and missed working out. Take 2 realize everything positive when you wake up: sun coming through windows, make time for working out later. Fact 1: positivity feels good. Fact 2: positivity changes how your mind works. Fact 3: Positivity transforms your future. Fact 4: positivity puts the breaks on negativity. Fact 6: positivity obeys a tipping point (certain ratio makes the whole day seem positive). Fact 6: You can increase your positivity.
Chapter 2: Positivity: Means, Not Ends: increase your quantity of positivity. What matters most is your positivity ratio. Languish or flourish. People who flourish function at extremely high levels. They are also doing good. Positivity opens us. Positive emotions open our hearts and our minds, making us more receptive and creative. Positivity transformed early humans for better leaving them with extra measures of physical, social, intellectual, and psychological resources. The magic number is a positivity ratio of 3:1. Negativity is important. Nobody can flourish without it. Even the happiest people cry. Real time imaging on heart when person was angry revealed that arteries narrowed and heart got less blood flow.
Chapter 3: What is Positivity? When was the last time I felt this feeling? Where was I? What was I doing? What else gives me that feeling? Can I think of still more triggers? What can I do now to cultivate this feeling. Rose colored glasses are never made in bifocals. Nobody wants to read the small print in dreams (Ann Landers). Overanalysis kills positivity.
Joy: Surrounds are safe and familiar. Things are going your way. At the moment the situation requires little effort on your part. You face lights up with a smile and an inner glow.
Gratitude: Someone has gone out of their way to do something for you. We can feel grateful for breathing clean air, having able bodies, or having a safe and comfortable place to rest when weary. Gratitude opens your heart and gives you the urge to give back. True gratitude is heartfelt and unscripted.
Serenity: Sounds safe and familiar and require little effort on your part. Serenity is more low key than joy. It is when you let out that long, luxurious sigh because your current circumstances are so comfortable and so right. It is the afterglow emotion and comes on the heels of joy, amusement or awe…
Interest: Something different draws your attention, filling you with a sense of possibility or mystery. You uncover challenges that allow you to build your skills. When you are interested, you feel open and alive.
Hope: If everything were already going your way, there would be little that you’d need to hope for. Hope comes into play when your circumstances are dire – things are not going well for you, or there’s considerable uncertainty about how things will turn out. Hope arises precisely within those moments when hopelessness or despair seem just as likely. Hope in these desperate situation like these, is yearning the worst but yearning for better.
Pride: is a self-conscious emotion. We are to blame for something good. Pride blooms in the wake of an achievement you can take credit for. It’s that good feeling you get when you put the fiishing touches on a project.
Amusement: Sometimes something unexpected happens that makes you laugh. Heartfelt amusement brings the irrepressible urge to laugh and share your joviality with others.
Inspiration: you transcend the ordinary, seeing better possibilities than usual. Feeling inspired rivets your attention, warms your heart, and draws you in.
Awe: happens when you come across goodness on a grand scale. You literally feel overwhelmed by greatness. Mentally you are challenged to absorb and accommodate the sheer scale of what you’ve encountered.
Love: is all of the above. Love has many facets that encompass all of the other traits.
Whether you experience positivity or not depends vitally on how you think. Positive emotions – like all emotions – arise from how you interpret events and ideas as they unfold. They depend on whether you allow yourself to take a moment to find the good and on whether, once you’ve found it, you pump that goodness up and let it grow. We all have the power to turn positivity on and off for ourselves. What is going right with me right now? What can I celebrate? What’s right here?
Chapter 4: Broaden Your Mind: As positivity flows through our hearts, it broadens our minds and expands our range of vision. There’s no limit to how often our minds can cycle through these moments of expanded and retracted awareness. When you make a list of possibilities the list is longer when you are in the attitude of positivity. Volunteers were injected with positivity and their visual attention and verbal ability increased. At Harvard, positive negotiators struck the best deals. Spiraling: Positivity increases ability to solve problems which then increases positivity and brings greater ability to solve problems bringing more positivity. When people are more positive they rate their relationships as more overlapping (choosing a visual of more overlapping circles when compared to others. Positivity increases broaden subject’s ability to recognize the whole of people’s faces more quickly.
Chapter 5: Build your best future: Analogy of how our cells are always changing (whole new you every 3 months), so we can always have a fresh start. The author tells the story of Nina who signed up for their workplace/open heart study in positivity (control group and meditation – emphasizing love and kindness - group). Nina went from being negative, low self-confidence, infertile, depressed, lonely, headaches, muscle aches, tummy trouble, and poor relationship with her husband to being positive, no headaches, no loneliness, high self-esteem, getting pregnant (twins), and having a good relationship with her husband. The author noticed how much she had changed statistically and met with her to talk about it. Her positivity ratio rose to 6:1 ratio, and she said she ‘found herself again.’ She now feels love for her family and friends and she notices the little things that most people overlook. She talks to people more and makes herself more present. She now spreads love and peace and tries to pick up other people. During the 9 weeks the control groups ‘dose response’ tripled. Amount of time meditating = higher positivity rates. Open hearts build lives. Positivity builds good mental habits, social connections, and physical health (lower BP, less colds, better sleep)
Chapter 6: Bounce Back from Life’s Challenges: The author talks about 9/11 happening while she was at her cousins funeral and she had to take Amtrack home and how all the passengers were talking to strangers about 9/11 and how that connection was healing. She was feeling down about her positivity work, but then had the idea to retest some college students on their resilience as a follow up. They found that those who were resilient before 9/11 were resilient after 9/11. Stress causes an increase in BP and heartrate, positivity can help bring those down. Wendy had just finished her PhD on top of having had cancer. She was having no luck finding a job. The author suggested she work on her positivity, which she did and then she found a job and was flourishing. The author tells the story of her husband having complications from a hernia surgery and how she was able to spend time with him due to the help of her neighbors which raised her positivity immensely. Her goal was to raise his positivity while in the hospital: she brought plants, decorated his room, and bathed him everyday.
Chapter 7: The positivity Ratio: Author pairs with Marcial Losada who studies business teams and determined that those who had more positive interactions were more successful (sales/revenue). He ranked interactions as positive or negative, self-focused or other focused, inquiry (questions) or advocacy (defending point of view). He calculated the positivity ratio at 3:1. The successful teams had a large ‘butterfly effect.’ Height = positivity and width = inquiry and advocacy. Less successful teams had a smaller butterfly or no butterfly at all. Tipping point is important; example is that water and ice have the same chemical compound but it is a matter of one degree that makes it water or ice. Gottman studied married couples arguing and ranking their interactions and proved that those with the 5:1 ratio of positive interactions were more likely to stay married. Schwartz studied depressed patients and determined what the ratio would be 4:1 for those to cross over from not being depressed. A ratio above 11:1 is too much and the person becomes unbelievable. Some negativity grounds people. A sailboat needs a keel (negative) and a mast (positive) and the ratio for those happens to be 3:1.
Chapter 8: Where are you now? This chapter present the positivity self test (to be done dailyJ)and website www.positivityratio.com You can also break your day into scenes and score the test for each scene to pin point particular times of the day that are adding negativity. More than 80% of people score below the 3:1 threshhold. The positivity genes you inherit or don’t inherit are only half of the story!
Chapter 9: Decrease Negativity: Dispute negative thinking like a lawyer. Are you just ruminating (assuming that this negative thing will lead to more negative things) or can you make a case against it? The author uses the example of having a bad writing day and carrying that to being late for her publisher’s date (which was a long way away). She was able to make a case for having plenty of time and reasonable goals to make her deadline. Awareness is the first step in fighting rumination and healthy distraction is next (neutral distraction is okay too). Mindfulness helps fight negative thoughts. Mindfulness can rewire your brain so that the negative circuits fire less and the positive circuits fire more. Avoid negative media (violent movies). Gossip and sarcasm bring people down. Dealing with negative people: 1. Modify the situation (are you making assumptions about the other person), 2. Attend differently (look for their good traits), 3.Change meanings (look at a latecomer as the opportunity to practice forgiveness).
Chapter 10/Increase Positivity: Sincerity Matters – your heart requires that you slow down; positivity needs to be felt. Enter positive psychology – we used to focus on bringing people from negative emotions to 0. Now we want to take them from 0-2 to 7-8. Find Positive Meaning – Reframe the unpleasant in a positive way, you boost the odds of positive emotions. Savor Goodness – enjoy the good when it is here! Slow down and attend to the good mindfully. Savoring is not analysis (over analysis deflates positivity). A young man savored his phone calls home (no distractions) and he enjoyed them more. Count your blessings – this requires you to notice them. Kindness counts – your kind acts increase your positivity rate. Follow your passions – entering into the flow (fully absorbed in your activity). Dream about your future – visualization activates the same brain cells as actually doing the activity. Apply your strengths – finding new ways to apply your strengths is significant and lasting. Connect with Nature – go out side in good weather. Open Your Mind – heartfelt positivity gives you broaden and build moments (open mind). Open your heart – loving kindness meditation opens your heart.
Chapter 11/A New Toolkit: Be Open – rid your mind of expectations and judgements. Attend to what’s happening without trying or wishing for change. Create high quality connections – respectful engagement, support them, trust, and play. Cultivate kindness – assess what those around you might need. Develop distractions – make two lists: healthy distractions and unhealthy distractions (also write an alternative). Dispute Negative thinking – write typical negative thoughts on an index card and then dispute it on the back. Find Nearby Nature – spend time in it. Learn and Apply Your Strengths – take the authentichappiness.com quiz or ask your friends what your strengths are: redesign your job and life so that you use your strengths. Meditate Mindfully – focusing on breath keeps you here in the present. Meditate on loving kindness – cherish yourself and the radiate it to others. Ritualize gratitude – gratitude journal, say grace, take stock of good at the end of something. Savor Positivity – roll around in a past moment of positivity. Visualize your future – write a life mission. Build your own – make a pride portfolio for each of the positive emotions listed in this book: joy, gratitude, serenity, interest, hope, pride, amusement, inspiration, awe.
Chapter 12/Future Forecast: Flourishing: Positivity feels good, positivity broadens the mind, positivity builds resources, positivity fuels resilience, positivity ratios above 3:1 forecast flourishing, people can raise their positivity facts to dance and positivity spirals upward.
Chapter 2: Positivity: Means, Not Ends: increase your quantity of positivity. What matters most is your positivity ratio. Languish or flourish. People who flourish function at extremely high levels. They are also doing good. Positivity opens us. Positive emotions open our hearts and our minds, making us more receptive and creative. Positivity transformed early humans for better leaving them with extra measures of physical, social, intellectual, and psychological resources. The magic number is a positivity ratio of 3:1. Negativity is important. Nobody can flourish without it. Even the happiest people cry. Real time imaging on heart when person was angry revealed that arteries narrowed and heart got less blood flow.
Chapter 3: What is Positivity? When was the last time I felt this feeling? Where was I? What was I doing? What else gives me that feeling? Can I think of still more triggers? What can I do now to cultivate this feeling. Rose colored glasses are never made in bifocals. Nobody wants to read the small print in dreams (Ann Landers). Overanalysis kills positivity.
Joy: Surrounds are safe and familiar. Things are going your way. At the moment the situation requires little effort on your part. You face lights up with a smile and an inner glow.
Gratitude: Someone has gone out of their way to do something for you. We can feel grateful for breathing clean air, having able bodies, or having a safe and comfortable place to rest when weary. Gratitude opens your heart and gives you the urge to give back. True gratitude is heartfelt and unscripted.
Serenity: Sounds safe and familiar and require little effort on your part. Serenity is more low key than joy. It is when you let out that long, luxurious sigh because your current circumstances are so comfortable and so right. It is the afterglow emotion and comes on the heels of joy, amusement or awe…
Interest: Something different draws your attention, filling you with a sense of possibility or mystery. You uncover challenges that allow you to build your skills. When you are interested, you feel open and alive.
Hope: If everything were already going your way, there would be little that you’d need to hope for. Hope comes into play when your circumstances are dire – things are not going well for you, or there’s considerable uncertainty about how things will turn out. Hope arises precisely within those moments when hopelessness or despair seem just as likely. Hope in these desperate situation like these, is yearning the worst but yearning for better.
Pride: is a self-conscious emotion. We are to blame for something good. Pride blooms in the wake of an achievement you can take credit for. It’s that good feeling you get when you put the fiishing touches on a project.
Amusement: Sometimes something unexpected happens that makes you laugh. Heartfelt amusement brings the irrepressible urge to laugh and share your joviality with others.
Inspiration: you transcend the ordinary, seeing better possibilities than usual. Feeling inspired rivets your attention, warms your heart, and draws you in.
Awe: happens when you come across goodness on a grand scale. You literally feel overwhelmed by greatness. Mentally you are challenged to absorb and accommodate the sheer scale of what you’ve encountered.
Love: is all of the above. Love has many facets that encompass all of the other traits.
Whether you experience positivity or not depends vitally on how you think. Positive emotions – like all emotions – arise from how you interpret events and ideas as they unfold. They depend on whether you allow yourself to take a moment to find the good and on whether, once you’ve found it, you pump that goodness up and let it grow. We all have the power to turn positivity on and off for ourselves. What is going right with me right now? What can I celebrate? What’s right here?
Chapter 4: Broaden Your Mind: As positivity flows through our hearts, it broadens our minds and expands our range of vision. There’s no limit to how often our minds can cycle through these moments of expanded and retracted awareness. When you make a list of possibilities the list is longer when you are in the attitude of positivity. Volunteers were injected with positivity and their visual attention and verbal ability increased. At Harvard, positive negotiators struck the best deals. Spiraling: Positivity increases ability to solve problems which then increases positivity and brings greater ability to solve problems bringing more positivity. When people are more positive they rate their relationships as more overlapping (choosing a visual of more overlapping circles when compared to others. Positivity increases broaden subject’s ability to recognize the whole of people’s faces more quickly.
Chapter 5: Build your best future: Analogy of how our cells are always changing (whole new you every 3 months), so we can always have a fresh start. The author tells the story of Nina who signed up for their workplace/open heart study in positivity (control group and meditation – emphasizing love and kindness - group). Nina went from being negative, low self-confidence, infertile, depressed, lonely, headaches, muscle aches, tummy trouble, and poor relationship with her husband to being positive, no headaches, no loneliness, high self-esteem, getting pregnant (twins), and having a good relationship with her husband. The author noticed how much she had changed statistically and met with her to talk about it. Her positivity ratio rose to 6:1 ratio, and she said she ‘found herself again.’ She now feels love for her family and friends and she notices the little things that most people overlook. She talks to people more and makes herself more present. She now spreads love and peace and tries to pick up other people. During the 9 weeks the control groups ‘dose response’ tripled. Amount of time meditating = higher positivity rates. Open hearts build lives. Positivity builds good mental habits, social connections, and physical health (lower BP, less colds, better sleep)
Chapter 6: Bounce Back from Life’s Challenges: The author talks about 9/11 happening while she was at her cousins funeral and she had to take Amtrack home and how all the passengers were talking to strangers about 9/11 and how that connection was healing. She was feeling down about her positivity work, but then had the idea to retest some college students on their resilience as a follow up. They found that those who were resilient before 9/11 were resilient after 9/11. Stress causes an increase in BP and heartrate, positivity can help bring those down. Wendy had just finished her PhD on top of having had cancer. She was having no luck finding a job. The author suggested she work on her positivity, which she did and then she found a job and was flourishing. The author tells the story of her husband having complications from a hernia surgery and how she was able to spend time with him due to the help of her neighbors which raised her positivity immensely. Her goal was to raise his positivity while in the hospital: she brought plants, decorated his room, and bathed him everyday.
Chapter 7: The positivity Ratio: Author pairs with Marcial Losada who studies business teams and determined that those who had more positive interactions were more successful (sales/revenue). He ranked interactions as positive or negative, self-focused or other focused, inquiry (questions) or advocacy (defending point of view). He calculated the positivity ratio at 3:1. The successful teams had a large ‘butterfly effect.’ Height = positivity and width = inquiry and advocacy. Less successful teams had a smaller butterfly or no butterfly at all. Tipping point is important; example is that water and ice have the same chemical compound but it is a matter of one degree that makes it water or ice. Gottman studied married couples arguing and ranking their interactions and proved that those with the 5:1 ratio of positive interactions were more likely to stay married. Schwartz studied depressed patients and determined what the ratio would be 4:1 for those to cross over from not being depressed. A ratio above 11:1 is too much and the person becomes unbelievable. Some negativity grounds people. A sailboat needs a keel (negative) and a mast (positive) and the ratio for those happens to be 3:1.
Chapter 8: Where are you now? This chapter present the positivity self test (to be done dailyJ)and website www.positivityratio.com You can also break your day into scenes and score the test for each scene to pin point particular times of the day that are adding negativity. More than 80% of people score below the 3:1 threshhold. The positivity genes you inherit or don’t inherit are only half of the story!
Chapter 9: Decrease Negativity: Dispute negative thinking like a lawyer. Are you just ruminating (assuming that this negative thing will lead to more negative things) or can you make a case against it? The author uses the example of having a bad writing day and carrying that to being late for her publisher’s date (which was a long way away). She was able to make a case for having plenty of time and reasonable goals to make her deadline. Awareness is the first step in fighting rumination and healthy distraction is next (neutral distraction is okay too). Mindfulness helps fight negative thoughts. Mindfulness can rewire your brain so that the negative circuits fire less and the positive circuits fire more. Avoid negative media (violent movies). Gossip and sarcasm bring people down. Dealing with negative people: 1. Modify the situation (are you making assumptions about the other person), 2. Attend differently (look for their good traits), 3.Change meanings (look at a latecomer as the opportunity to practice forgiveness).
Chapter 10/Increase Positivity: Sincerity Matters – your heart requires that you slow down; positivity needs to be felt. Enter positive psychology – we used to focus on bringing people from negative emotions to 0. Now we want to take them from 0-2 to 7-8. Find Positive Meaning – Reframe the unpleasant in a positive way, you boost the odds of positive emotions. Savor Goodness – enjoy the good when it is here! Slow down and attend to the good mindfully. Savoring is not analysis (over analysis deflates positivity). A young man savored his phone calls home (no distractions) and he enjoyed them more. Count your blessings – this requires you to notice them. Kindness counts – your kind acts increase your positivity rate. Follow your passions – entering into the flow (fully absorbed in your activity). Dream about your future – visualization activates the same brain cells as actually doing the activity. Apply your strengths – finding new ways to apply your strengths is significant and lasting. Connect with Nature – go out side in good weather. Open Your Mind – heartfelt positivity gives you broaden and build moments (open mind). Open your heart – loving kindness meditation opens your heart.
Chapter 11/A New Toolkit: Be Open – rid your mind of expectations and judgements. Attend to what’s happening without trying or wishing for change. Create high quality connections – respectful engagement, support them, trust, and play. Cultivate kindness – assess what those around you might need. Develop distractions – make two lists: healthy distractions and unhealthy distractions (also write an alternative). Dispute Negative thinking – write typical negative thoughts on an index card and then dispute it on the back. Find Nearby Nature – spend time in it. Learn and Apply Your Strengths – take the authentichappiness.com quiz or ask your friends what your strengths are: redesign your job and life so that you use your strengths. Meditate Mindfully – focusing on breath keeps you here in the present. Meditate on loving kindness – cherish yourself and the radiate it to others. Ritualize gratitude – gratitude journal, say grace, take stock of good at the end of something. Savor Positivity – roll around in a past moment of positivity. Visualize your future – write a life mission. Build your own – make a pride portfolio for each of the positive emotions listed in this book: joy, gratitude, serenity, interest, hope, pride, amusement, inspiration, awe.
Chapter 12/Future Forecast: Flourishing: Positivity feels good, positivity broadens the mind, positivity builds resources, positivity fuels resilience, positivity ratios above 3:1 forecast flourishing, people can raise their positivity facts to dance and positivity spirals upward.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 15, 2025
Just horrible. Not even sure where to begin. The premise had potential, but the book quickly devolves into a repetitive loop of surface-level insights and self-congratulation. It felt more like an extended victory lap for Barbara’s own research than a meaningful or actionable exploration of the topic of positivity. There’s very little new ground covered, and by the end, I was honestly just frustrated.
August 9, 2017
I loved this book. I've already read it twice. Even just listening to the narration makes me calm down and lets me think and plan positively. I also love the tools in part two. I think this book has made a real difference in my life.
February 24, 2022
Majority of this book is a long description of the word “positivity”. If you don’t know the effects of applying positivity to your day to day life and relationships then I would recommend this book because it will cover every aspect of the concept.
I give it a 3/5. Perfectly explains what positively is, how it can benefit you and what to do about it… However unnecessarily long.
Nothing you learn is going to make a difference unless you apply what you learn.
I give it a 3/5. Perfectly explains what positively is, how it can benefit you and what to do about it… However unnecessarily long.
Nothing you learn is going to make a difference unless you apply what you learn.
December 26, 2024
Barbara Fredrickson is author of “broaden-and-build” theory about the effects of positive emptions. It is a science about how positivity can improve your life.
Positivity can take many forms ranging from interest, amusement, appreciation, inspiration, joy, serenity, gratitude, pride, awe, hope to love. It feels good but more importantly it changes the way your mind works.
Negative emotions cause stress and body changes needed to survive in short episodes of danger but they are damaging to our health in long term. They create tunnel vision that allows us to focus on fight or flight response and survival. Negativity and neutrality constrains your viewpoint. Positive emotions have the opposite effect.
Positivity opens minds and therefore produces better mental maps of the world. You learn more when you are driven by curiosity. This knowledge is what builds your abilities and traits in long term. Positivity warms hearts and allows us to build positive relationships with people around us. Positive emotions were incentive for humans to broaden and build resources whenever they felt safe and satisfied. This has allowed them to be better prepared for dangerous situations.
Positivity can make enormous difference in your life. It feels good and it opens mind and warms hearts. With positivity you see more possibilities, get up quickly after setbacks, connect with others and become the best version of yourself. It brings out the best in you and in that way it transforms your life including your character, your relationships and your communities, your environment and even your health. It makes you more calm, more mindful of current circumstances, more resilient to setbacks. Positivity transforms your relationships with colleagues and family and in that way steers you towards better future. While negativity is draining your life energy, positivity is boosting life energy.
Don’t suppress negative emotions. Negativity is important and has its psychological role. You cannot always be positive. In some situations it would be not natural and even a bit nuts.
What seems to be the right measure of quality of life is ratio between frequency of positivity occurrences and frequency of negativity occurrences over some time span. Too low positivity ratio and you end up in downward spiral burdened and lifeless. High positivity ratio and you get to be in upward spiral where you feel uplifted and alive, and become less predictable and more creative. Aim to have positivity ratio of 3 or more. That means that on every negative reaction you have at least 3 positive reactions.
It turns out that you are at any moment either on positive trajectory or on negative one. Whether you are on positive trajectory and upward spiral or on negative trajectory and downward spiral is your choice. You can choose to feel coonected with others in love. You can choose to allow yourself to be playful, creative, curious, excited and silly. You can choose to feel blessed with what you have. You can choose to enjoy the beauty of existence. Sometimes you can choose to turn seemingly negative circumstances into something positive and useful. You can choose to see opportunities for positivity in almost anything.
Positivity is not only about feeling happy. It is about having a purpose and doing something valueable with your time. Positivity is not just an indicator of success and health; in fact it produces success and health.
Positivity has big impact on our thinking process. With positivity people tend to see the big picture more easily. You even literary see more and appreciate more what you see in your surroundings. When you see more, more ideas and better ideas come to your mind and as a consequence you are more creative. It opens your mind to new possibilities which allows you to consider more alternative paths towards reaching your goals. Positivity builds resilience so you quickly bounce back from setbacks and obstacles. Without positivity there is hardly any resilience.
Research has found that the way team members communicate on meetings is a good indicator of success of the team. High performing teams have very high positivity ratio (remember “positivity” section in mindset research chapter) of 6 to 1 or more. Furthermore their connectivity (how responsive or attuned are team members to each other) is high. There is balance between self-orientation and others-orientation and there is balance between inquiry (asking questions) and advocacy (defending own point of view).
Contrary to previous, the lowest performance teams had positivity ratio of 1 to 1 or less. Their connectivity was low, focus was on self and there was almost no inquiry. They ended up as a group of individuals defending only own position and being critical of everything else. Besides losing good mood they lost flexibility and ability to question thoughts of self and others. They were self absorbed and not really listening to each other. They just waited their turn to defend own point of view.
Depressive patients have low positivity ratio. In bad marriages positivity ratio of interactions between partners is low. Bad teams at work have low positivity ration and the best teams has extraordinarily high positivity ratio. In all cases the tipping point after which individuals and relationships start flourishing is estimated to be around 3 to 1.
Small amounts of appropriate negativity can also be useful. Positivity ratio should not be over 11 to 1. Negativity cannot be excluded altogether. In marriages it is shown that occasional engaging in conflict and anger can be healthy while disgust and contempt are never healthy. Guilt can be useful because it motivates you to do the action and fix what you messed up. Shame is never useful because it is not about something we did but about us as lower worth being. Contempt is never useful because it dehumanizes other human being. Occasional and appropriate and justified negativity is necessary. Without it you lose touch with reality and become Pollyanna like character.
Avoid gossips and sarcasm because they are toxic. Instead of gossiping to grab attention of others focus on positive qualities of others.
Learn to deal with negative people in your life. Investigate whether you do something that causes or enhance negativity in these people. Try to be more warm and kind when dealing with them. Show interest and try to understand them by asking questions. Inject hope, compassion and humor into interaction. Respond to negativity in positive or neutral way. Focus on positive qualities of the person. Instead of thinking that a person is bringing us down see the interaction as a lesson.
Challenge yourself to be more mindful and compassionate and less judgemental. Your reaction to negativity is your choice.
To unleash heartfelt positivity you need to open your heart and let it feel. Positivity that is not felt in heart is useles and even harmful. Faked positivity is not positivity but in fact negativity. To experience more posititivty try to find more often a positive meaning in your daily experiences.
A simple way to multiply positivity you feel is to share good news with people who genuinely support you. That will also improve your relationship which is another positivity point.
Rest assured that you deserve good things to happen to you. Everyone does.
Develop a habit of observing your blessings and being grateful for having them. Be in awe for the small wonders of life and you will feel alive again. Recognize and appreciate the kindness other people have for you. True, warm and gentle kindness is expression of love. Feel grateful for having such kind people in your life. Express your gratitude to them in words or in similar acts of kindness. That will increase their positivity and reinforce your relationship. Being aware of own kindness towards others also boosts your positivity
Making a contribution to a higher goal will also make you feel good. Did you know that helping others is a good indicator of living longer? Strive to build warm and lasting relationships with other people. Spend lot of quality time with others. Nurture loving concern for others. Be present and attentive when interacting with others. Show support and trust. Include moments of play in the interaction.
Identify your strengths and be proud of them and apply them more often. Allow yourself to play. Repeat activities that cause you to enter the flow and become fully engaged and fully absorbed in the activity. Daydream about the future you desire. Visualize it in great detail. Practicing in mind is as important as physical practice. Spending time in nature also boosts positivity.
Try the loving kindness meditation. It is about feeling love, warmth and kindness for self and others. You start with relaxation through breathing and focusing on heart area. Proceed with focusing on someone or something you love already. Focus on feeling of warmth. Now extend warmth and compassion to self. Then you keep adding the people in your mind and feeling warm connection and compassion for them.
If you liked this summary of the book you will love the book. I give it 5 stars because it thought me so many things about positivity
Positivity can take many forms ranging from interest, amusement, appreciation, inspiration, joy, serenity, gratitude, pride, awe, hope to love. It feels good but more importantly it changes the way your mind works.
Negative emotions cause stress and body changes needed to survive in short episodes of danger but they are damaging to our health in long term. They create tunnel vision that allows us to focus on fight or flight response and survival. Negativity and neutrality constrains your viewpoint. Positive emotions have the opposite effect.
Positivity opens minds and therefore produces better mental maps of the world. You learn more when you are driven by curiosity. This knowledge is what builds your abilities and traits in long term. Positivity warms hearts and allows us to build positive relationships with people around us. Positive emotions were incentive for humans to broaden and build resources whenever they felt safe and satisfied. This has allowed them to be better prepared for dangerous situations.
Positivity can make enormous difference in your life. It feels good and it opens mind and warms hearts. With positivity you see more possibilities, get up quickly after setbacks, connect with others and become the best version of yourself. It brings out the best in you and in that way it transforms your life including your character, your relationships and your communities, your environment and even your health. It makes you more calm, more mindful of current circumstances, more resilient to setbacks. Positivity transforms your relationships with colleagues and family and in that way steers you towards better future. While negativity is draining your life energy, positivity is boosting life energy.
Don’t suppress negative emotions. Negativity is important and has its psychological role. You cannot always be positive. In some situations it would be not natural and even a bit nuts.
What seems to be the right measure of quality of life is ratio between frequency of positivity occurrences and frequency of negativity occurrences over some time span. Too low positivity ratio and you end up in downward spiral burdened and lifeless. High positivity ratio and you get to be in upward spiral where you feel uplifted and alive, and become less predictable and more creative. Aim to have positivity ratio of 3 or more. That means that on every negative reaction you have at least 3 positive reactions.
It turns out that you are at any moment either on positive trajectory or on negative one. Whether you are on positive trajectory and upward spiral or on negative trajectory and downward spiral is your choice. You can choose to feel coonected with others in love. You can choose to allow yourself to be playful, creative, curious, excited and silly. You can choose to feel blessed with what you have. You can choose to enjoy the beauty of existence. Sometimes you can choose to turn seemingly negative circumstances into something positive and useful. You can choose to see opportunities for positivity in almost anything.
Positivity is not only about feeling happy. It is about having a purpose and doing something valueable with your time. Positivity is not just an indicator of success and health; in fact it produces success and health.
Positivity has big impact on our thinking process. With positivity people tend to see the big picture more easily. You even literary see more and appreciate more what you see in your surroundings. When you see more, more ideas and better ideas come to your mind and as a consequence you are more creative. It opens your mind to new possibilities which allows you to consider more alternative paths towards reaching your goals. Positivity builds resilience so you quickly bounce back from setbacks and obstacles. Without positivity there is hardly any resilience.
Research has found that the way team members communicate on meetings is a good indicator of success of the team. High performing teams have very high positivity ratio (remember “positivity” section in mindset research chapter) of 6 to 1 or more. Furthermore their connectivity (how responsive or attuned are team members to each other) is high. There is balance between self-orientation and others-orientation and there is balance between inquiry (asking questions) and advocacy (defending own point of view).
Contrary to previous, the lowest performance teams had positivity ratio of 1 to 1 or less. Their connectivity was low, focus was on self and there was almost no inquiry. They ended up as a group of individuals defending only own position and being critical of everything else. Besides losing good mood they lost flexibility and ability to question thoughts of self and others. They were self absorbed and not really listening to each other. They just waited their turn to defend own point of view.
Depressive patients have low positivity ratio. In bad marriages positivity ratio of interactions between partners is low. Bad teams at work have low positivity ration and the best teams has extraordinarily high positivity ratio. In all cases the tipping point after which individuals and relationships start flourishing is estimated to be around 3 to 1.
Small amounts of appropriate negativity can also be useful. Positivity ratio should not be over 11 to 1. Negativity cannot be excluded altogether. In marriages it is shown that occasional engaging in conflict and anger can be healthy while disgust and contempt are never healthy. Guilt can be useful because it motivates you to do the action and fix what you messed up. Shame is never useful because it is not about something we did but about us as lower worth being. Contempt is never useful because it dehumanizes other human being. Occasional and appropriate and justified negativity is necessary. Without it you lose touch with reality and become Pollyanna like character.
Avoid gossips and sarcasm because they are toxic. Instead of gossiping to grab attention of others focus on positive qualities of others.
Learn to deal with negative people in your life. Investigate whether you do something that causes or enhance negativity in these people. Try to be more warm and kind when dealing with them. Show interest and try to understand them by asking questions. Inject hope, compassion and humor into interaction. Respond to negativity in positive or neutral way. Focus on positive qualities of the person. Instead of thinking that a person is bringing us down see the interaction as a lesson.
Challenge yourself to be more mindful and compassionate and less judgemental. Your reaction to negativity is your choice.
To unleash heartfelt positivity you need to open your heart and let it feel. Positivity that is not felt in heart is useles and even harmful. Faked positivity is not positivity but in fact negativity. To experience more posititivty try to find more often a positive meaning in your daily experiences.
A simple way to multiply positivity you feel is to share good news with people who genuinely support you. That will also improve your relationship which is another positivity point.
Rest assured that you deserve good things to happen to you. Everyone does.
Develop a habit of observing your blessings and being grateful for having them. Be in awe for the small wonders of life and you will feel alive again. Recognize and appreciate the kindness other people have for you. True, warm and gentle kindness is expression of love. Feel grateful for having such kind people in your life. Express your gratitude to them in words or in similar acts of kindness. That will increase their positivity and reinforce your relationship. Being aware of own kindness towards others also boosts your positivity
Making a contribution to a higher goal will also make you feel good. Did you know that helping others is a good indicator of living longer? Strive to build warm and lasting relationships with other people. Spend lot of quality time with others. Nurture loving concern for others. Be present and attentive when interacting with others. Show support and trust. Include moments of play in the interaction.
Identify your strengths and be proud of them and apply them more often. Allow yourself to play. Repeat activities that cause you to enter the flow and become fully engaged and fully absorbed in the activity. Daydream about the future you desire. Visualize it in great detail. Practicing in mind is as important as physical practice. Spending time in nature also boosts positivity.
Try the loving kindness meditation. It is about feeling love, warmth and kindness for self and others. You start with relaxation through breathing and focusing on heart area. Proceed with focusing on someone or something you love already. Focus on feeling of warmth. Now extend warmth and compassion to self. Then you keep adding the people in your mind and feeling warm connection and compassion for them.
If you liked this summary of the book you will love the book. I give it 5 stars because it thought me so many things about positivity
January 13, 2016
I think this book is really useful and contains invaluable explanations and tools that help us to become more positive towards ourselves and life in general.
For the sake of benefit, I decided to write a somehow comprehensive summary and points on the most important information and applicable methods of positivity.
As positivity goes up, connectivity increases. And it links up with doing well and help us to bounce back from setbacks.
Positivity ratio is 3 to 1, whereas pathological positivity ratio: less than 1 to 1.
-
Aikido -Art of Peace.
It is used to neutralize your aggression towards negative people, through applying 3 methods:
1/ Modify the situation: ask questions and be open (e.g. Do I feed this person negatively? or what are my assumptions about them and how they affect my behavior.
Also, be proactive with them or do joint actions with them. Use humor, too.
2/ Attend differently:
Ask yourself: what are (the person concerned) positive qualities?
And be non-reactive to anger.
3/ Change meanings:
By asking yourself could this person teach me something? Or how to work on your reactions?
Increase your mindfulness and compassion and be less judgmental
-
Apply Day Reconstruction Method (DRM) to assess your actual feelings and experiences not distorted by memory or other biases.
How?
If your yesterday was typical, study which parts/activities fuel you the most, then, analyze those circumstances and what about them allowed your positivity to blossom. See if you can import these conditions into more parts of your day.
-
Toolkit of How to increase positivity:
-1- Be open: experiment with both awareness and acceptance.
-Rid your mind from expectations and judgments.
Cultivate curiosity about and acceptance to whatever is happening
-Acknowledge your experiences, appreciate them and let them pass.
-Attend to what is happening w/o trying or wishing to change it.
-2- Create high quality connections:
How to create high-quality connections?
Respect, support, trust, play w/o particular outcome, ...etc
Note:
Moments of connections can be either life giving or life depleting.
-3-Cultivate kindness:
Perform 5 new acts of kindness a day.
-4-Develop distractions to get your mind off your troubles;
Healthy distractions + do new activities
Write down unhealthy distractions?
For each unhealthy distraction, come up with a healthy one.
-5- Dispute negative thinking:
Capture your inner critic, then, dispute it or argue rationally... asking what are the facts?
-6- Find near-by nature:
Locate nice places, explore
-7- learn and apply your strengths:
A/ Take a free on-line survey to measure 24 character strengths.
www.authentichappiness.com
B/Through reflected best self-exercise: contact 10-20 trusted people in your life. Ask each 3 detailed stories about the ways you add values and make important contributions. Then, analyze the feedback to look for commonality and themes. Also, use your Strengths every day.
-8- Meditate mindfully: be aware of the present.
25 minutes is ideal per day
Quite place
Relaxed position
Gaze
Take deep breaths
Observe
Notice your thoughts; don't suppress them, as actively trying to stop thinking only breads out more thinking.
-9- Meditate on love and kindness:
Direct your love inward
Radiate your compassion and love to others.
-10- Ritualize your gratitude:
-List the good things in your life and why the happened.
-Be thankful.
-11- Savor positivity:
-Source of positivity and willingness to think differently about it.
-Unearth a past moment of positivity
-12- Visualize your future:
-Do a journal exercise to imagine itself 10 years from now by visualizing where and how u would be if all your dreams came true, and imagine u have reached your best potential.
-Review what you wrote and draw out life mission/purposes that drive u/meanings of your existence. Make a short mission statement that can be memorized, then, put it in eulogy test. Create a (10) year plan to achieve your mission in bulling points.
For the sake of benefit, I decided to write a somehow comprehensive summary and points on the most important information and applicable methods of positivity.
As positivity goes up, connectivity increases. And it links up with doing well and help us to bounce back from setbacks.
Positivity ratio is 3 to 1, whereas pathological positivity ratio: less than 1 to 1.
-
Aikido -Art of Peace.
It is used to neutralize your aggression towards negative people, through applying 3 methods:
1/ Modify the situation: ask questions and be open (e.g. Do I feed this person negatively? or what are my assumptions about them and how they affect my behavior.
Also, be proactive with them or do joint actions with them. Use humor, too.
2/ Attend differently:
Ask yourself: what are (the person concerned) positive qualities?
And be non-reactive to anger.
3/ Change meanings:
By asking yourself could this person teach me something? Or how to work on your reactions?
Increase your mindfulness and compassion and be less judgmental
-
Apply Day Reconstruction Method (DRM) to assess your actual feelings and experiences not distorted by memory or other biases.
How?
If your yesterday was typical, study which parts/activities fuel you the most, then, analyze those circumstances and what about them allowed your positivity to blossom. See if you can import these conditions into more parts of your day.
-
Toolkit of How to increase positivity:
-1- Be open: experiment with both awareness and acceptance.
-Rid your mind from expectations and judgments.
Cultivate curiosity about and acceptance to whatever is happening
-Acknowledge your experiences, appreciate them and let them pass.
-Attend to what is happening w/o trying or wishing to change it.
-2- Create high quality connections:
How to create high-quality connections?
Respect, support, trust, play w/o particular outcome, ...etc
Note:
Moments of connections can be either life giving or life depleting.
-3-Cultivate kindness:
Perform 5 new acts of kindness a day.
-4-Develop distractions to get your mind off your troubles;
Healthy distractions + do new activities
Write down unhealthy distractions?
For each unhealthy distraction, come up with a healthy one.
-5- Dispute negative thinking:
Capture your inner critic, then, dispute it or argue rationally... asking what are the facts?
-6- Find near-by nature:
Locate nice places, explore
-7- learn and apply your strengths:
A/ Take a free on-line survey to measure 24 character strengths.
www.authentichappiness.com
B/Through reflected best self-exercise: contact 10-20 trusted people in your life. Ask each 3 detailed stories about the ways you add values and make important contributions. Then, analyze the feedback to look for commonality and themes. Also, use your Strengths every day.
-8- Meditate mindfully: be aware of the present.
25 minutes is ideal per day
Quite place
Relaxed position
Gaze
Take deep breaths
Observe
Notice your thoughts; don't suppress them, as actively trying to stop thinking only breads out more thinking.
-9- Meditate on love and kindness:
Direct your love inward
Radiate your compassion and love to others.
-10- Ritualize your gratitude:
-List the good things in your life and why the happened.
-Be thankful.
-11- Savor positivity:
-Source of positivity and willingness to think differently about it.
-Unearth a past moment of positivity
-12- Visualize your future:
-Do a journal exercise to imagine itself 10 years from now by visualizing where and how u would be if all your dreams came true, and imagine u have reached your best potential.
-Review what you wrote and draw out life mission/purposes that drive u/meanings of your existence. Make a short mission statement that can be memorized, then, put it in eulogy test. Create a (10) year plan to achieve your mission in bulling points.
April 28, 2024
This has been my favorite resiliency book I've read in my class. I definitely would not have picked up any of these "self-help" books on my own, but I've ended up mostly enjoying them.
In this one, I really like the emphasis on scientific research and studies. Although her tone rubbed me the wrong way at times and she had several weird diet culture references, I enjoyed how approachable and readable this book was. Looking forward to trying to implement some of these actions into my life!
Read as an e-textbook through my uni on my PC.
In this one, I really like the emphasis on scientific research and studies. Although her tone rubbed me the wrong way at times and she had several weird diet culture references, I enjoyed how approachable and readable this book was. Looking forward to trying to implement some of these actions into my life!
Read as an e-textbook through my uni on my PC.
March 9, 2012
*Goodbye Negative-ville, Hello Positive-ville*
If you've spent any time traveling in this here journey we call life, you've probably experienced how easy it is to fall into the downward spiral of negativity. A negative thought can easily lead to a negative feeling, which can kick off a negative behavior....which then leads to even more negative feelings, thoughts, and behaviors ad nauseam. Before you know it, the cycle can spiral out of control, and you've become a not-so-proud resident of Negative-ville (Population: Too Many).
On the bright side, there's an escape route out of this land of despair, and it's called positivity. As stated in her own words, the hope of Barbara's Fredrickson's _Positivity_ "is that the scientific insights about positivity offered here give you a revelatory set of lenses--lenses that amplify and multiply the goodness of your life, enabling you to flourish."
To begin this journey to flourishing, you first need to appreciate the six vital facts of positivity: it feels pretty darn good, it literally changes and broadens your mind, it transforms your future, it fuels resilience, it enables flourishing above its tipping point, and it can be increased. It comes in ten forms: joy, gratitude, serendipity, interest, hope, pride, amusement, inspiration, awe, and love.
The catch is that in order to be able to flourish under the glow of positivity, you need to make sure it out-numbers negativity by a three to one ratio. _Positivity_ serves as both a guidebook and a source of inspiration for achieving this optimal ratio. After showing concrete ways to decrease negativity (including: disputing negative thinking, breaking the grip of rumination, becoming more mindful, decreasing your negative land mines, assessing your media diet, and finding substitutes for gossip and sarcasm), the book offers realistic and do-able ways to boost your positivity (such as: savoring life's goodness in a heartfelt way, finding positive meaning, counting your blessings, practicing kindness, following your passions, dreaming about your future, applying your strengths, connecting with others, connecting with nature, opening your mind, and opening your heart). It's easier than you think. Really.
If you're ready to make the move from Negativity-ville to Positive-ville, this book is your one-way ticket out. Welcome home (Population: Readers of _Positivity_).
If you've spent any time traveling in this here journey we call life, you've probably experienced how easy it is to fall into the downward spiral of negativity. A negative thought can easily lead to a negative feeling, which can kick off a negative behavior....which then leads to even more negative feelings, thoughts, and behaviors ad nauseam. Before you know it, the cycle can spiral out of control, and you've become a not-so-proud resident of Negative-ville (Population: Too Many).
On the bright side, there's an escape route out of this land of despair, and it's called positivity. As stated in her own words, the hope of Barbara's Fredrickson's _Positivity_ "is that the scientific insights about positivity offered here give you a revelatory set of lenses--lenses that amplify and multiply the goodness of your life, enabling you to flourish."
To begin this journey to flourishing, you first need to appreciate the six vital facts of positivity: it feels pretty darn good, it literally changes and broadens your mind, it transforms your future, it fuels resilience, it enables flourishing above its tipping point, and it can be increased. It comes in ten forms: joy, gratitude, serendipity, interest, hope, pride, amusement, inspiration, awe, and love.
The catch is that in order to be able to flourish under the glow of positivity, you need to make sure it out-numbers negativity by a three to one ratio. _Positivity_ serves as both a guidebook and a source of inspiration for achieving this optimal ratio. After showing concrete ways to decrease negativity (including: disputing negative thinking, breaking the grip of rumination, becoming more mindful, decreasing your negative land mines, assessing your media diet, and finding substitutes for gossip and sarcasm), the book offers realistic and do-able ways to boost your positivity (such as: savoring life's goodness in a heartfelt way, finding positive meaning, counting your blessings, practicing kindness, following your passions, dreaming about your future, applying your strengths, connecting with others, connecting with nature, opening your mind, and opening your heart). It's easier than you think. Really.
If you're ready to make the move from Negativity-ville to Positive-ville, this book is your one-way ticket out. Welcome home (Population: Readers of _Positivity_).
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