High Maintenance

by Jennifer Belle

National Bestseller
The story of an obsessive love affair between a woman and an apartment.

The publication of her sexy, offbeat, riotous first novel, Going Down , won Jennifer Belle comparisons from everyone from Dorothy Parker and Lorrie Moore to J. D. Salinger and Liz Phair. In High Maintenance , Belle is back with another brilliantly twisted New York story that is as funny, sad, painful, ridiculous, wild, daring, and lovable as its predecessor.

Set in the manic world of New York real estate, High Maintenance is the story of Liv Kellerman, a young woman who's just left her husband and, more important, their fabulous penthouse apartment with its Empire State Building view. On her own for the first time in her life, she relocates to a crumbling Greenwich Village hovel and contemplates her next move. Before long she finds her true selling real estate. With her native eye for prime properties and an ability to lie with a straight face, Liv finds success and soon is swimming with the sharks-the hardcore, cutthroat brokers who'll do anything to close a deal. Along the way she picks up a maniacally ardent architect who likes to bite her, a few hilarious bosses, strange and exasperating clients, and a gun, and brings them with her on her search for the one thing she's really a home.

Belle's gift for creating strange and winning characters and her acute observations of both the absurd and the poignant in everyday life are the hallmarks of her fiction. High Maintenance is generous and unsparing, tough and exciting and terrifically smart—a hot new property on the market.
 

Genres: Chick Lit, Fiction, New York, Romance, The United States Of America, Contemporary, Humor

351 pages, Paperback

First published May 7, 2001

About the author

An American novelist, based in New York City.

She attended Bronx High School of Science and dropped out of college. She has also written columns for Ms. magazine. In 2002, she married entertainment lawyer Andrew Krents, after they were introduced by fellow novelist Amy Sohn.

Her work has appeared in The New York Times Magazine, The New York Observer, London’s The Independent, Cosmopolitan, Harper’s Bazaar, Ms., Mudfish. She teaches at the New York Writers' Workshop.

-Wikipedia

Reviews

[Cici · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm giving up on this one. I'm on page 99 and I think it's terrible. I rarely quit on books, but I can't read anymore of this:
Liv, the main character is so flakey and immature... first she starts working for this blind guy and lies to him about things even unbuttons her shirt in front of him because he can't see anyways. I'm pretty sure by the end of the book his "secret" is he's really not blind...
Then she starts seeing this idiot that's in a relationship and he's really disrepectful.I know that won't go well, he tried to throw her off a building!
THEN she finds this gun randomly laying somewhere and TAKES it. It makes her feel powerful, like a secret agent or something. She sees this little boy with a toy gun and aims her REAL gun at him, trying to be funny and aims it into her mouth so the boy does the same with his toy gun...
She's an adult with a 5 year old brain.
She's also jealous of things that aren't real like statues, characters in stories, mannequinns, turkeys.. This girl is messed up.

[Nikki · Rating 2 out of 5]

Remember the way you drew houses as a kid? A square with a triangle on top, a door, and two windows? This book is a lot like that. The framework for a decent story is there, but Belle only gives you the bare minimum when it comes to characterization and story. At best, it's mildly amusing. At worst, it's a complete waste of time.

[Kris · Rating 1 out of 5]

I am not sure why this book received so many good reviews. To each his own, I suppose. I keep on reading.... waiting and hoping. But it just never gets better. The characters are all so bizarre and creepy. I can not connect with any of them. These are people I would never want to deal with. I am not even sure at this point (halfway through the book) and I am even going to finish reading it.

[Joey Lukner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Completely 100% up my alley. So funny and fun. A great story about a girl making it in New York. I bookmarked several pages with the best one liners imaginable

[Sheryl · Rating 4 out of 5]

Have you read Belle's, Little Stalker, yet? If so, High Maintenance has the same feel about it. I forgot how much I loved Jennifer Belle's light, quirky...and ever so chic lit writing style that I must say I wasn't all that enamored with the story and/or any of the characters right off the bat. I had to stop and think back to the author's quirkiness from Little Stalker....and then I really started to enjoy it. Where does Belle come up with this stuff??? It was just one crazy, yet hilarious catastrophe after another!! The protagonist, Liv Kellerman, and person to which the title refers to, definitely delivers!! This is one High Maintenance chick; one that I could never be friends with, but one that I love hearing stories about! Pick this one up when you need a break from all of the heavy stuff you've been reading and just have fun with Liv and her crazy lifestyle in Manhattan....laugh with her, not at her!!

[Nascha · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked up this book on a whim. Purchased it from a used book table on the streets of Manhattan. In the end, I am happy I did so. It was a fun book to read. Great combination of life in the city, a look into real estate and chick lit. A light read, great for the summer, but still memorable. In fact, I still think about this book and it's been a few years since I read it. Maybe it's because I love real estate and the main character, Liv is a real estate agent.

There were some really funny moments, the main characters are quite zany and laughable. And the apartment hunting in Manhattan is so realistic it's great how she captured it. But the ending was really sweet and I think I related to this book because I really felt like I grew with Liv as she came into her own by the end of the novel. I was very fond of the ending.

[Kali · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was one of the worst books I've ever read. I should have known better , but it was $1.39 at goodwill and I needed an easy read, what I got was one of the most painful 'literary' (I barely want to use that word) experiences ever! Total crap.

[Amy · Rating 1 out of 5]

Like the old commercial for Alka Seltzer, "I can't believe I read the whole thing." Chick Lit but not even a feel good kind of read. I kept reading because I was promised it was clever, funny and well done. I didn't find it any of those things.

[Sherri Bryant · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wasn't sure what to make of this story when I first started it. I have to hand it to our heroine, Liv. I would have thrown in the towel and gone crawling back to Jack after taking one look at that rat-hole apartment she ends up in. $1,200 a month! Yikes! LOL

Liv surprises us all by coming out on top in all areas. I think some payback for the ear was in order though. I've never read anything else by this author but I will definitely look out for anything else by her.

[Tamara · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just finished reading High Maintenace by Jennifer Belle. What a great book. Loved the whole story from beginning to end. So much funny quirkiness in the main character it really keeps you laughing. I definitely recommend this book for those that like a light read that makes you smile.

[Rachel · Rating 2 out of 5]

I finished the book but I’m still not sure I can find a plot or a character arc.

[Hailey Skinner · Rating 4 out of 5]

Listening to the audiobook felt like watching a 10 hour episode of Sex and the City. It’s a frivolous, silly, vulgar-ish love letter to nyc, with a revolving door of inconsequential characters and happenings. You spend much of the book wondering how exactly she affords anything, why men are such pigs, and if the story is going anywhere.

Yet, just like with Sex & The City, I had a lot of fun tuning in. <3

(Also, one woman refers to her beloved apartment as the "loft of her life" and I just found that so charming. Shopgirl would totally send that to NY152 in an email.)

[Louise Gylling · Rating 1 out of 5]

Någå av de värsta ja nånsin ha läst. Ett väldit dålit fösök på "komplicerade karaktärer", sluta va så äckli å vårda ditt språk Jennifer (å de kommer från mej??? Då vet man att de e bad). Ja sku genuint gå ber på knä å be denhär människan radera detta skitverk från denna värld, min favoritmening är nog "har du saknat min kuk i din fitta?", den sätter bara pricken på iet i en bok som sku ha vari helt okej utan vilddjurssexet, like calm down.

[Kristen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found High Maintenance so hilarious and out of control. The MC was pure insanity, but in a good way. I loved the quirkiness and randomness, a very entertaining read.

[Sheryl · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book took me forever to get through. I could only take small doses of Andrew. What a total a$$shole. If I met a man and 30 seconds later he picked me up and dangled me over the balcony threatening to drop me, the LAST thing I would do is sleep with him. But of course there'd be no story if Liv didn't sleep with him. All along I'm thinking get a clue sweetheart--he's a doush in general, but he's telling you he's with someone else. Translation--he's stepping out on the other woman, most likely his WIFE. And Liv just plays along, although annoyed by him, but for (in my opinion) the wrong reasons. Then she finds/reads some of his journal, and that didn't make her drop him like a hot potato. No, she waits til he bites her earlobe off (yes...) to finally realize he's a nutbag. Then he won't leave her alone. Turns out he WAS married, and stepping out w/several other women. Funny how she finally ditches the loser and her life turns around for the better... ugh!

[Tiara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Definitely didn't like this as much by the end as I did in the beginning, but I stayed up all night to finish it. A pampered woman learns to take care of herself after her divorce from her cheating husband. This got creepy toward the middle. I mean, swallowing Clue pieces for no good reason? Freezing sperm in her freezer, in the ice tray? Carrying around a glock she found? It was so pathetic I had to keep reading. Good God, if that's the kind of insanity divorce promises, I think I'll stay with my husband forever, thank you.

[Ashley · Rating 1 out of 5]

Liv is kind of an idiot...I just wanted to punch her in the nose through most of it...I mean c'mon...he bites her ear off? What? Thats a bit far-fetched even for New York! And she goes to a Vet to get it fixed? It was just too much for me! I would have never gone out with that wierd Andrew person, she deserves to get a nut-job! Insane...no wonder Jack cheated on her she is clearly and idiot!

[Alison · Rating 1 out of 5]

Awful awful awful awful awulf awful awful awful awful awful awful. Main character was ridiculously shallow and selfish and dishonest and most of the other characters were just weird, but not in any way that made them interesting. The plot felt like it jumped around with no real purpose. Awful awful awful awful awful. I didn't even finish it. I couldn't.

[Angel Perkins · Rating 1 out of 5]

Dismal. It was a chore to actually finish the book. I suppose it did, eventually, get vaguely interesting but only in a "Does this EVER get BETTER?" sort of way. The characters are stagnant and shallow. There is no actual direction to the story itself. You wander aimlessly through the pages, much like Liv wanders aimlessly through life; waiting for something to happen.

[Danielius Goriunovas · Rating 1 out of 5]

Pradžia - lame.
Kažkiek po pradžios - super meilės romanas. Įtraukiantis, įdomus, etc.
Ties viduriu - OMD kaip nuobodu...
Toliau - nebaigiau skaityti.

Išvada - skaityti nepatariu. Niekam. Rimtai. Fe.

[Kelly · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn't really love this book. I thought it was going to be light and fluffy and there was way more too it then that. I didn't particularly like the love story of Liv and Andrew. I thought it was mean. I feel that there story took away the story of her and the apartment.

[Lauren · Rating 1 out of 5]

Don't waste your time on these shallow moronic characters. Only interesting bit was that it was based in NYC.

[Aaron · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jeez, the one star reviewers here seem so uptight. Some books just exist to entertain.

[Lori Schiele · Rating 1 out of 5]

Liv Kellerman has left her cheating husband and, tragically, their fabulous duplex overlooking the Empire State Building. She also has no real money to her name, or few marketable skills to help her land a job. She manages to find a crumbling "fixer-upper" in Greenwich Village then decides what to tackle next--and it turns out to become a real estate agent. To her knowledge, it had always seemed easy, but when you're on the other side of the coin--the agent--it's anything but. And then there is the dating scene...

I read through a little over 100 pages before realizing I honestly didn't care what happened to Liv Kellerman, so I set the book aside and moved on. I'm sure others will find it enjoyable, and perhaps I would at a different time, but I kept setting the book down and losing my place, then picking it up and just started reading from there. It didn't really seem to matter if I'd missed 25 or 50 pages. It all seemed the same.

[Clare · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was the second time I read this book. I read it shortly after it came out and enjoyed it. Gave the book away when I moved long ago & thought of it often. Was delighted when I found it at a second hand store & recognized the cover as a book I enjoyed. It is a quick easy read that keeps you entertained. You don’t get attached to the characters or even the story line really. What kept me going was the outrageous things that happen to the main character. I laughed out loud quite a few times from the main character’s statements and thoughts. I think the author is quite direct and maybe a bit crass but I like it & enjoy her writing. It is obvious she loves New York and I hope to read more by her soon.

[Marnie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I put this book on my to read list back in January 2009, and I’m finally adding it to my read list over 16 years later.

I listened to the audiobook, and while I enjoyed all of the real estate references as chapter headers, I didn’t love the reader’s voice. I feel like characters that I might not have thought of as annoying sounded annoying through her voice, especially Andrew, her wacky, ear-biting, architect boyfriend who lived with his girlfriend Jordan (who we later find out is actually his wife).

It was fun to see her life as a real estate broker with all of the annoying back-and-forth with some clients who can never make a decision.

[Caleigh McCauley · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don't want to say that this book was a waste of time because I did enjoy it. I am a new yorker wannabe so I loved that picture being painted of the crazy NYC life. Other than that I wasn't completely engaged by the plot of Andrew or the gun or real estate. I was mildly interested but not overly engaged at all. To me it seems like a weird but funny writer took acid and then wrote this and didn't know where to start changing it so she didn't. Felt like there was no purpose reading it but it wasn't bad/

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another unsinkable, ebullient and resilient character in Liv Kellerman written by Belle who can sometimes do awful awful things that only make her more endearing. Seeing the character rise like a phoenix from Divorce, a famous & ineffectual father and affair with a rotten man is a wonderful arc to follow. Liv comes to accept her circumstances and develop a canny strength and resilience with sangfroid and heart simultaneously. Liv delights in the world around her and its people for better or worse and emerges empowered and accepting. We should all be so lucky.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found the main character hilarious. She is immature, I think a lot of 26 year olds raised by wealthy New Yorkers were in the early 90’s. Actually, I doubt much has changed. Belle uses decade appropriate language and attitude. It’s fun to go back in time this way.

Liv obviously has a lot to learn about real estate, men, herself, and Pilates. This was a fun and light summer read.

[Bo Frazer · Rating 4 out of 5]

This languished in my TBR for years, ever since I got such a kick out of Little Stalker. I’ve read 3 of her books and they’re all delightful. I’m a big fan of well delivered absurd humor, and she nails it. I had many laugh out loud moments, but I don’t know if they would tickle others the same way. Flawed mc but I loved her.