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Human Hacking: Win Friends, Influence People, and Leave Them Better Off for Having Met You
A global security expert draws on psychological insights to help you master the art of social engineering—human hacking. Make friends, influence people, and leave them feeling better for having met you by being more empathetic, generous, and kind.
Eroding social conventions, technology, and rapid economic change are making human beings more stressed and socially awkward and isolated than ever. We live in our own bubbles, reluctant to connect, and feeling increasingly powerless, insecure, and apprehensive when communicating with others.
A pioneer in the field of social engineering and a master hacker, Christopher Hadnagy specializes in understanding how malicious attackers exploit principles of human communication to access information and resources through manipulation and deceit. Now, he shows you how to use social engineering as a force for good—to help you regain your confidence and control. Human Hacking provides tools that will help you establish rapport with strangers, use body language and verbal cues to your advantage, steer conversations and influence other’s decisions, and protect yourself from manipulators. Ultimately, you’ll become far more self-aware about how you’re presenting yourself—and able to use it to improve your life.
Hadnagy includes lessons and interactive “missions”—exercises spread throughout the book to help you learn the skills, practice them, and master them. With Human Hacking, you’ll soon be winning friends, influencing people, and achieving your goals.
Eroding social conventions, technology, and rapid economic change are making human beings more stressed and socially awkward and isolated than ever. We live in our own bubbles, reluctant to connect, and feeling increasingly powerless, insecure, and apprehensive when communicating with others.
A pioneer in the field of social engineering and a master hacker, Christopher Hadnagy specializes in understanding how malicious attackers exploit principles of human communication to access information and resources through manipulation and deceit. Now, he shows you how to use social engineering as a force for good—to help you regain your confidence and control. Human Hacking provides tools that will help you establish rapport with strangers, use body language and verbal cues to your advantage, steer conversations and influence other’s decisions, and protect yourself from manipulators. Ultimately, you’ll become far more self-aware about how you’re presenting yourself—and able to use it to improve your life.
Hadnagy includes lessons and interactive “missions”—exercises spread throughout the book to help you learn the skills, practice them, and master them. With Human Hacking, you’ll soon be winning friends, influencing people, and achieving your goals.
255 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 5, 2021
270 people are currently reading
2455 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 56 reviews
April 14, 2021
This would be a good book if you were an alien and had no idea how humans socialized.
January 11, 2022
Well, Hadnagy really is a fox! He made me buy the (almost) same book twice. This one is essentially a repackaging of the main part of his previous book Social Engineering (2nd ed., 2018). I wrote a lengthy review for that one and do not wish to repeat everything here, so feel free to look it up. One thing I do wish to point out here though is that I think Hadnagy's whole premise for Human Hacking: Win Friends,... is flawed: He confuses making people feel better for having interacted with you with actually making people better. Yes, in many instances these two can be the same. But especially in the context of Human Hacking (and this is what Hadnagy's books are about), the ultimate goal is to make people do what you want, not what they want or need. The fact that they might have done so joyfully while under your social engineering spell does not mean they actually end up being better in the long run.
I would give it three stars, but take one off for the fact that everything here already appeared in a previous book.
I would give it three stars, but take one off for the fact that everything here already appeared in a previous book.
December 29, 2020
I LOVED this book. I will come back over and over again to refresh my skills. It's more like a bible for how to make interactions stronger and more positive for everyone involved, no matter how hard the conversation may be. This is a vital book in the communication/relationship cannon. I've recommended it to all of my coworkers. I am a better spouse after reading and putting into practice these terms. I get more accomplished at work with "difficult people". My interactions seem more positive.
November 6, 2024
I enjoyed this book, and was particularly fascinated by the author’s stories from his ethical hacking career. I don’t know that I learned a ton that I didn’t already know about social engineering, but it was packaged in a clean way that gave names and guidance for behaviors. I really liked the mantra of leaving people better off for having met you, and appreciated the ways the author could take what might look like manipulative behavior and turn it into something that leaves both parties satisfied with the outcome.
January 21, 2023
It's a great book for learning to have conversations. If you have trouble speaking to others, if you don't know how to approach hard conversations, or you wish to keep conversations with positive outcomes, I recommend this book.
March 1, 2021
3.5 stars from me; rounding up to 4 for Goodreads.
Mixed feelings on this one. I've already several books on people who are hired to use social engineering to hack companies, and how to influence people to benefit yourself, and how to avoid becoming a victim of manipulation. I appreciated that Human Hacking was densely packed with useful information and generally lacked extraneous fluff, unlike others in the genre that skew too far towards memoir or self-aggrandizement. But the introduction asking readers to sign a pledge to use these tactics for good and not evil, and then the many subsequent references to this throughout the book, felt like a manipulation in and of itself.
Related books:
- Breaking and Entering: The Extraordinary Story of a Hacker Called "Alien" by Jeremy Smith
- The Art of Invisibility: The World's Most Famous Hacker Teaches You How to Be Safe in the Age of Big Brother and Big Data by Kevin Mitnick and Robert Vamosi
- The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over by Jack Schafer
- Invisible Influence: The Hidden Forces that Shape Behavior by Jonah Berger
- The Likeability Factor: How to Boost Your L-Factor and Achieve Your Life's Dreams by Tim Sanders
- How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less by Nicholas Boothman
Mixed feelings on this one. I've already several books on people who are hired to use social engineering to hack companies, and how to influence people to benefit yourself, and how to avoid becoming a victim of manipulation. I appreciated that Human Hacking was densely packed with useful information and generally lacked extraneous fluff, unlike others in the genre that skew too far towards memoir or self-aggrandizement. But the introduction asking readers to sign a pledge to use these tactics for good and not evil, and then the many subsequent references to this throughout the book, felt like a manipulation in and of itself.
Related books:
- Breaking and Entering: The Extraordinary Story of a Hacker Called "Alien" by Jeremy Smith
- The Art of Invisibility: The World's Most Famous Hacker Teaches You How to Be Safe in the Age of Big Brother and Big Data by Kevin Mitnick and Robert Vamosi
- The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over by Jack Schafer
- Invisible Influence: The Hidden Forces that Shape Behavior by Jonah Berger
- The Likeability Factor: How to Boost Your L-Factor and Achieve Your Life's Dreams by Tim Sanders
- How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less by Nicholas Boothman
February 12, 2021
"Leave them better off for having met you" Wow, such a powerful mantra.
May 15, 2021
Actually read it twice in this period! Doing a weekly book club- was fun to read and discuss as a group! Learned a lot about myself and my communication style
Note: I received the book for free from the publisher.
Note: I received the book for free from the publisher.
December 15, 2023
Theme Song: red flag collector by Kelly Clarkson
January 6, 2023
Hadnagy writes a book that's subtitle even plays on the massively popular Dale Carnegie book but presents it in a more honorable light. Critics of Carnegie's book often say the things taught there are a too manipulative toward the person on the receiving end. What I appreciate about Hadnagy is he addresses this in his book starting with a pledge that as the reader you will only use the skills learned here to leave people better off. He emphasizes this throughout the book and even uses examples of his own failures on jobs to live by that principle and how even those failures have helped him recognize and redouble his efforts to improve. The book talks a lot about human psychology and things that you can do to influence others to get what you want but in a way where everybody is better off and nobody is left at the end of a conflict feeling bad for the results. He provides practical prompts and actions that the reader can take to improve everything from daily conversations with your friends or spouse, to techniques to increase your chance of getting the raise you want when you talk to your boss. You won't become an expert at it by reading this book, but he does provide the tools so you can improve. Overall I think the main point is you can learn to be more present, more aware of yourself and others, and as a result of taking extra time to consider others needs or positions, in addition to your own, you can create opportunities for shared success and growth. I thought this was worth reading and while there may be those out there who will use this information without leaving others better off, I think he was right to discuss the tools and tactics and skills that we all can learn, because they're skills that everybody uses, just not always consciously or justly.
September 17, 2021
Human hacking is basically social engineering and borrows heavily from other works in this genre like How to Win Friends and Influence People. I did this as an audiobook and the author narrated it pretty well. He calls this a "super power" but mostly it's tailoring your approach to your audience and reading people well. I did like his mantra of leaving people better off for having met you. A nice way to approach life.
A few things to remember:
DISC - an acronym for communication styles: Dominant - confident, focused on the bottom line / results; Influencer - collaborators, enthusiastic, optimistic; Steady - sincere, calm, supportive of others; Conscientious - organized, factual. D & I - more direct style of communication; S & C - more indirect style. I & S focus more on connecting with people; D & C focus more on getting things done.
Elicitation techniques - make obviously untrue or illogical statements; give people a bracket; help them to assume you know something or someone; feign incredulity; quote reported facts.
A few things to remember:
DISC - an acronym for communication styles: Dominant - confident, focused on the bottom line / results; Influencer - collaborators, enthusiastic, optimistic; Steady - sincere, calm, supportive of others; Conscientious - organized, factual. D & I - more direct style of communication; S & C - more indirect style. I & S focus more on connecting with people; D & C focus more on getting things done.
Elicitation techniques - make obviously untrue or illogical statements; give people a bracket; help them to assume you know something or someone; feign incredulity; quote reported facts.
January 2, 2023
I work in sales, face-to-face with customers, and I get bored of the same old interactions. Why not mess around and test out some new persuasion strategies?
One of my favorite techniques was that people have an inherent urge to correct blatantly wrong information, and that you can use this to your advantage. For example, if you go up to someone in the grocery store and say, "oh, I see you're buying blueberries... I bet you were born in February," supposedly there's a good chance they'll automatically say something like, "nah, my birthday's in June." Can confirm that this works: when I tried out a version of this, it was silly enough that it made people lower their guard and engage with me while sharing details about what sort of item they're looking for, and this helped me tailor my sales approach.
What I liked most about this book, aside from the entertaining anecdotes and the way the author dove straight into the meat and potatoes of the content, was that it offered techniques that I could try out and confirm for myself--that is to say, I've had way more interesting work days lately.
One of my favorite techniques was that people have an inherent urge to correct blatantly wrong information, and that you can use this to your advantage. For example, if you go up to someone in the grocery store and say, "oh, I see you're buying blueberries... I bet you were born in February," supposedly there's a good chance they'll automatically say something like, "nah, my birthday's in June." Can confirm that this works: when I tried out a version of this, it was silly enough that it made people lower their guard and engage with me while sharing details about what sort of item they're looking for, and this helped me tailor my sales approach.
What I liked most about this book, aside from the entertaining anecdotes and the way the author dove straight into the meat and potatoes of the content, was that it offered techniques that I could try out and confirm for myself--that is to say, I've had way more interesting work days lately.
Read
May 20, 2021Before you can hack others, you need to master your own communication tendencies. Keep others’ emotional needs in mind to build rapport more quickly and make people more likely to agree to your requests. Deploying subtle tools of influence and observing non-verbal cues will also help you set every conversation up for success. Make sure that you use human hacking with empathy and compassion, to get what you want while making others happier.
Actionable advice:
Boost your listening skills by posing reflective questions.
To improve your listening skills, pose reflective questions by repeating the last three or four words someone says and posing them as a question. For example, if a friend says, “Peru is the coolest country I’ve ever visited,” your reflective question would be, “Really? Peru is the coolest country you’ve ever visited?” Not only will this keep your friend talking about the topic, but challenging yourself to pose reflective questions will help you build a habit of listening more actively in conversation.
Actionable advice:
Boost your listening skills by posing reflective questions.
To improve your listening skills, pose reflective questions by repeating the last three or four words someone says and posing them as a question. For example, if a friend says, “Peru is the coolest country I’ve ever visited,” your reflective question would be, “Really? Peru is the coolest country you’ve ever visited?” Not only will this keep your friend talking about the topic, but challenging yourself to pose reflective questions will help you build a habit of listening more actively in conversation.
March 1, 2022
Listened to the audio book.
Starts strong, but then fades.
Liked the DISC method
- Dominamce - Direct, gets right to the point, CEO’s,
- Influence - talk about selves, comedians, sales people
- Stewdiness - serves, agreeable, accommodating, want team to get credit,
- Conciencous - detailed, orderly, discrete, accountants, doctors, pilots, nerdy aloof. Likes details.
Pretext - create a situation that will set you up for success. Play your role. Appear unthreatening.
Nail the approach - build repoir, find things in common,
- drink what they are drinking
-
Plan conversations in advance
- role play conversation
- think through conversation
- what questions will be asked
- how should I approach (stern boss, kind friend,
- define objective
- select pretext
- plan time to discuss (after important presentation, not before)
- identify influence building techniques (authority, liking, reciprocity principle
- non-verbals (dress, greeting, tone of voice, bodily gestures) emotions you want to convey and those you don’t
- prepare for contingencies
Starts strong, but then fades.
Liked the DISC method
- Dominamce - Direct, gets right to the point, CEO’s,
- Influence - talk about selves, comedians, sales people
- Stewdiness - serves, agreeable, accommodating, want team to get credit,
- Conciencous - detailed, orderly, discrete, accountants, doctors, pilots, nerdy aloof. Likes details.
Pretext - create a situation that will set you up for success. Play your role. Appear unthreatening.
Nail the approach - build repoir, find things in common,
- drink what they are drinking
-
Plan conversations in advance
- role play conversation
- think through conversation
- what questions will be asked
- how should I approach (stern boss, kind friend,
- define objective
- select pretext
- plan time to discuss (after important presentation, not before)
- identify influence building techniques (authority, liking, reciprocity principle
- non-verbals (dress, greeting, tone of voice, bodily gestures) emotions you want to convey and those you don’t
- prepare for contingencies
April 25, 2024
If I were not a public relations practitioner, I would go back in time and change my profession yo double naught spy! So this book caught my eye. :)
A helpful read on a topic I’ve become increasingly interested in as I’ve been looking for a new position — social engineering. This book has been a hands on confirmation to many things I’ve been doing right.
It has given me a few new tips about how to “get in the door” in this incredibly tight job market that I have landed in as a fifty something starting over. High fives to Christopher Hadnagy for a great thesis. I’d love to attend your training!
A helpful read on a topic I’ve become increasingly interested in as I’ve been looking for a new position — social engineering. This book has been a hands on confirmation to many things I’ve been doing right.
It has given me a few new tips about how to “get in the door” in this incredibly tight job market that I have landed in as a fifty something starting over. High fives to Christopher Hadnagy for a great thesis. I’d love to attend your training!
March 1, 2021
This was a great book.
Excellent read on social engineering - something I've always been wanting to read more about.
I honestly would have liked to have had the book more detailed on the aspect of "pretexting" and "rapport", but it was great.
Helpful book though. I just wish it had more on the tactics I don't know, as the pieces all about IT cybersecurity I know too well.
I really appreciate Hadnagy's mantra that you have to leave people better off for having met them. Great motto to live by.
3.9/5
Excellent read on social engineering - something I've always been wanting to read more about.
I honestly would have liked to have had the book more detailed on the aspect of "pretexting" and "rapport", but it was great.
Helpful book though. I just wish it had more on the tactics I don't know, as the pieces all about IT cybersecurity I know too well.
I really appreciate Hadnagy's mantra that you have to leave people better off for having met them. Great motto to live by.
3.9/5
September 22, 2025
A good and benevolent ("leave them better off for having met you!") take on conversational techniques to maximize the likelihood of successfully achieving the outcomes you desire.
I like that the author tried very hard to walk an ethical line throughout the book, though I will readily admit that I'm not sure I understand why he considers a staged confrontation with a co-hacker ("you're fired if you don't finish these surveys!") ethically objectionable manipulation, but not feigning a coffee accident to get a receptionist to plug in a USB stick.
I like that the author tried very hard to walk an ethical line throughout the book, though I will readily admit that I'm not sure I understand why he considers a staged confrontation with a co-hacker ("you're fired if you don't finish these surveys!") ethically objectionable manipulation, but not feigning a coffee accident to get a receptionist to plug in a USB stick.
May 21, 2021
Human Hacking (2021) is a guide to the art of ethical social engineering.
Using the same tools of psychology and influence deployed by security hackers, it demonstrates how to boost social interactions in daily life.
It covers a range of tips on how to adjust your natural communication tendencies to steer encounters to your advantage, with practical tools on how to influence others using empathy and compassion.
Using the same tools of psychology and influence deployed by security hackers, it demonstrates how to boost social interactions in daily life.
It covers a range of tips on how to adjust your natural communication tendencies to steer encounters to your advantage, with practical tools on how to influence others using empathy and compassion.
July 14, 2021
The book borrowed a lot of concepts from "How To Win Friends And Influence People", "What Every Body Is Saying", and especially from "Influence: The Psychology Of Persuasion". A lot of the concepts and techniques were common-sense, just wrapped in technical terminology. That said, these techniques are very helpful in interpersonal relationships. I liked that the author said people can always improve how they interact with other people. A lot of the stories were also entertaining.
August 11, 2021
This is one of those books that can be very helpful and very dangerous at the same time.
It contains practical, actionable strategies that could be considered borderline manipulative.
Christopher constantly reminds the reader to use these tools for good. However, it doesn't help that most of the examples he uses would actually be illegal/immoral outside the context of his work.
This is the real Danny Ocean (Oceans' Eleven). The stories are fascinating.
It contains practical, actionable strategies that could be considered borderline manipulative.
Christopher constantly reminds the reader to use these tools for good. However, it doesn't help that most of the examples he uses would actually be illegal/immoral outside the context of his work.
This is the real Danny Ocean (Oceans' Eleven). The stories are fascinating.
May 26, 2022
this book is on a subject well-suited to creepy manipulation, but it's well presented and entierly compatible with both Christian and Epicurean philosophy, each of which emphasizes ethical behaviour with respect to others' happiness as the key to feeling decent about ones-self. I could have used more war stories from his exploits as an ethical hacker or instructor, though. Those were generally quite entertaining.
dnf
July 28, 2024Rather than having fun anecdotes about situations where they used human hacking, this really fell more into the "self-help" genre. The author is mostly here to sell you a new way to view your interactions, but spends a lot of time on why you should listen to him... which mostly comes across in a very cocky and annoying manner about how cool he is and how easily he gets people to give him what he wants.
I was bored and found his style grating.
I was bored and found his style grating.
June 26, 2021
This book repeats similar concepts from Influence by Cialdini, and also a whole bunch of frameworks/acronyms that I will never remember/seem sort of basic. Also, the phrases he uses are like someone did a heavy-handed edit for "I don't want you to get cancelled/called out for not acknowledging you are a white male" type writing. It's worth a skim though.
June 20, 2022
What I didn't like about the book was the way the author wrote it. It sounded like a collection of stories or personal experiences. I was expecting more of a manual on how to hack into human psychology, but I was disappointed.
3 stars because I enjoyed reading these stories, although I felt they were borrowed from other authors.
3 stars because I enjoyed reading these stories, although I felt they were borrowed from other authors.
October 28, 2024
It's not as good as Carnegie's Win Friends & Influence People. But I'm sure there's some value here for readers.
I don't really know what I got out of it.
I guess what resonates with me is that you are better with people if you are focused on their needs & expressions, rather than on your own feelings and needs.
I don't really know what I got out of it.
I guess what resonates with me is that you are better with people if you are focused on their needs & expressions, rather than on your own feelings and needs.
March 16, 2025
It's a somewhat practical guide for influencing people. It's a more modern version of Dale Carnegie's book. I'm informed on influencing people and knew most of this stuff, however, I wasn't as in tune with my body language. I thought that it was kinda BS snakeoil, but there are probably good advice from Joe Navarro to implement as well.
February 27, 2021
I liked this book a lot especially the appendix about how to recognize and work with different people according to their DISC profile. After reading this book, it’s become easier for me to recognize techniques used by manipulators and stop myself falling prey to their sway.
October 26, 2021
Great blend of story and strategy to help the reader understand ways of positively influencing and connecting with others without manipulation. The layered information approach with brief outlines and explanations is very clear and helpful.
December 8, 2024
Despite the negative connotation of “human hacking” this book helped put human relationships into perspective. If you need a certain way of framing relationships in an action-oriented, strategies to attempt sort of way this book offers a different method than others within this genre.
February 25, 2025
I found this book interesting and useful when talking about a lot of the psychological techniques people use to get ahead in life. Some of the parts felt unethical when used in the wrong contexts but overall if used ethically and professionally, then I understand the merits.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 56 reviews