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A (R)evolução do homem
Os homens modernos são forçados a uma performance de virilidade denunciada por muitos como sufocante - a chamada man box.
Phil Barker passou anos a investigar e a escrever sobre as elevadas taxas de suicídio entre os homens, a violência doméstica, a pornografia e a misoginia - mas também sobre a amizade masculina, os prazeres de ser pai e as relações entre homens e mulheres. Esta análise e reflexão fê-lo questionar o modelo tradicional de «masculinidade». Neste livro, Barker convida-nos a repensar o que significa ser-se homem e pede a todos os homens que ousem uma forma de vida mais livre, mais saudável e mais feliz para eles e para as pessoas que amam.
Uma análise equilibrada, clara e esperançosa sobre a masculinidade.
Phil Barker passou anos a investigar e a escrever sobre as elevadas taxas de suicídio entre os homens, a violência doméstica, a pornografia e a misoginia - mas também sobre a amizade masculina, os prazeres de ser pai e as relações entre homens e mulheres. Esta análise e reflexão fê-lo questionar o modelo tradicional de «masculinidade». Neste livro, Barker convida-nos a repensar o que significa ser-se homem e pede a todos os homens que ousem uma forma de vida mais livre, mais saudável e mais feliz para eles e para as pessoas que amam.
Uma análise equilibrada, clara e esperançosa sobre a masculinidade.
- GenresNonfiction
280 pages, Paperback
Published January 1, 2020
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
February 12, 2019
"The performance of being a man, from the moment we open our eyes, until we gasp our last breath, is damaging us, and those around us." - Phil Barker
In his debut book, Phil Barker shines a harsh light on the reality of toxic masculinity has done to our Australian communities and society in current times. One need only to look at the horrifying statistics of suicide and domestic violence; the outdated misogyny culture and addiction to pornography to realise that the previous definition and performance of masculinity is not working. Narrow ideas of what it means to be a man harm both men and women, and gender norms create impossible to satisfy or attainable expectations that create the conditions for violence, abuse and control of women to occur. To put in Phil Barker's words, it is "...suffocating, limiting and damaging."
Phil Barker writes: “There’s no downside to a world in which men avoid the behaviour dictated by the Man Box (his term for toxic masculinity) and policed by other men. Women win. They won’t get bashed, raped and murdered as much. Our children win. We can become unshakeable rocks on which they can build the foundations of their lives. Men win. We’ll stop killing ourselves. We’ll experience the life-saving happiness of wonderful relationships and love in our lives.”
The follow up question is, “How?”
The first step in solving a problem is recognising there is one; and while there is no quick way to change a culture and solve toxic masculinity overnight, we need to be able to talk about it. It is the conversation we need to have - with each other, our sons, our daughters, our fathers, our mothers, our friends, our brothers, our sisters, our partners and our mates. It is by having this dialogue that we can bring about a safer future, a kinder society and more fulfilling lives. Phil Barker encourages to the reader and to men that the courage to speak out and say "what you are doing, and what you are saying is not right" to practices and acts of toxic masculinity.
I highly recommend that people read this well-researched, engaging and thought-provoking book; whether or not you entirely agree, this look into where we should define modern manhood and the benefits positive masculinity have on society is something that needs to be discussed.
Discussion with Philip Barker on ABC News:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jSsZ...
In his debut book, Phil Barker shines a harsh light on the reality of toxic masculinity has done to our Australian communities and society in current times. One need only to look at the horrifying statistics of suicide and domestic violence; the outdated misogyny culture and addiction to pornography to realise that the previous definition and performance of masculinity is not working. Narrow ideas of what it means to be a man harm both men and women, and gender norms create impossible to satisfy or attainable expectations that create the conditions for violence, abuse and control of women to occur. To put in Phil Barker's words, it is "...suffocating, limiting and damaging."
Phil Barker writes: “There’s no downside to a world in which men avoid the behaviour dictated by the Man Box (his term for toxic masculinity) and policed by other men. Women win. They won’t get bashed, raped and murdered as much. Our children win. We can become unshakeable rocks on which they can build the foundations of their lives. Men win. We’ll stop killing ourselves. We’ll experience the life-saving happiness of wonderful relationships and love in our lives.”
The follow up question is, “How?”
The first step in solving a problem is recognising there is one; and while there is no quick way to change a culture and solve toxic masculinity overnight, we need to be able to talk about it. It is the conversation we need to have - with each other, our sons, our daughters, our fathers, our mothers, our friends, our brothers, our sisters, our partners and our mates. It is by having this dialogue that we can bring about a safer future, a kinder society and more fulfilling lives. Phil Barker encourages to the reader and to men that the courage to speak out and say "what you are doing, and what you are saying is not right" to practices and acts of toxic masculinity.
I highly recommend that people read this well-researched, engaging and thought-provoking book; whether or not you entirely agree, this look into where we should define modern manhood and the benefits positive masculinity have on society is something that needs to be discussed.
Discussion with Philip Barker on ABC News:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jSsZ...
March 18, 2023
Faz-te um homem! Não sejas piegas, isso não foi nada! Não és homem não és nada! És maricas ou quê? - são algumas das expressões que quase todos os rapazes ouvem e ouviram. Eu ouvi algumas delas e achei que era normal. Não é normal. Não pode ser.
O jornalista Neozelandês escreveu este livro condensando muitas destas ideias que sufocam os homens. A chamada "Caixa do homem", onde estão todas as regras de comportamento de um homem a sério. O que é um homem a sério? Um lobo solitário, o mais forte de todos, o protector da família e sustento da casa? Ser viril, não dar parte de fraco e nunca mas nunca expressar sentimentos, excepto a raiva.
Um livro excelente como chamada de atenção.
Estes homens que são reprimidos toda a vida sentem-se frustrados e descarregam nas mulheres e nas famílias. É todo uma estrutura de vida que foi mal concebida como herança de homens que também passaram o mesmo.
Não há idade limite para aprender e crescer. Na minha vida também fiquei no silêncio quando ouvia piadas sexistas e tive comportamentos de aceitação do errado, mas nos últimos anos percebi que algo não estava certo. As leituras dos últimos anos, inclusivé esta obra, têm-me feito abrir os olhos e a mente para o que pode ser feito. E estou a transmitir isso à próxima geração e também tentando modificar pensamentos de outras gerações.
Fico com receio sobre grupos extremistas de incels ou ADH (Activistas dos direitos dos homens) que querem um cenário quase medieval. Mas livros como este são uma boa ajuda para saírmos da "caixa do homem" e podermos ser bons seres humanos. Cuidarmos da nossa saúde física e mental.
Apenas um ponto e porque retiro uma estrela à avaliação. A estrutura e ligação dos textos. O próprio autor afirma isso. Os temas saltam de repente e falta alguma coerência na estrutura. Assemelha-se um pouco mais a uma longa conversa em que o narrador se vai lembrando dos tópicos.
Junto aqui esta curiosidade:
Notícia do Público (17/03/2023)
Os direitos das mulheres ameaçam os homens? Maioria dos millennials e GenZ acha que sim
Estudo concluiu que 53% dos millennials e 52% da geração Z acredita que a luta pelos direitos das mulheres prejudica os homens. Portugal vai contra a corrente: jovens dizem que não.
Recomendo especialmente a leitura deste livro a todos os homens, dos adolescentes aos anciãos. Podemos melhorar este Mundo. Mas recomendo muito a todos os seres humanos.
O jornalista Neozelandês escreveu este livro condensando muitas destas ideias que sufocam os homens. A chamada "Caixa do homem", onde estão todas as regras de comportamento de um homem a sério. O que é um homem a sério? Um lobo solitário, o mais forte de todos, o protector da família e sustento da casa? Ser viril, não dar parte de fraco e nunca mas nunca expressar sentimentos, excepto a raiva.
Um livro excelente como chamada de atenção.
Estes homens que são reprimidos toda a vida sentem-se frustrados e descarregam nas mulheres e nas famílias. É todo uma estrutura de vida que foi mal concebida como herança de homens que também passaram o mesmo.
Não há idade limite para aprender e crescer. Na minha vida também fiquei no silêncio quando ouvia piadas sexistas e tive comportamentos de aceitação do errado, mas nos últimos anos percebi que algo não estava certo. As leituras dos últimos anos, inclusivé esta obra, têm-me feito abrir os olhos e a mente para o que pode ser feito. E estou a transmitir isso à próxima geração e também tentando modificar pensamentos de outras gerações.
Fico com receio sobre grupos extremistas de incels ou ADH (Activistas dos direitos dos homens) que querem um cenário quase medieval. Mas livros como este são uma boa ajuda para saírmos da "caixa do homem" e podermos ser bons seres humanos. Cuidarmos da nossa saúde física e mental.
Apenas um ponto e porque retiro uma estrela à avaliação. A estrutura e ligação dos textos. O próprio autor afirma isso. Os temas saltam de repente e falta alguma coerência na estrutura. Assemelha-se um pouco mais a uma longa conversa em que o narrador se vai lembrando dos tópicos.
Junto aqui esta curiosidade:
Notícia do Público (17/03/2023)
Os direitos das mulheres ameaçam os homens? Maioria dos millennials e GenZ acha que sim
Estudo concluiu que 53% dos millennials e 52% da geração Z acredita que a luta pelos direitos das mulheres prejudica os homens. Portugal vai contra a corrente: jovens dizem que não.
Recomendo especialmente a leitura deste livro a todos os homens, dos adolescentes aos anciãos. Podemos melhorar este Mundo. Mas recomendo muito a todos os seres humanos.
December 25, 2021
3.5
SO
This starts off really well, talking about current issues, good stats, real discussions.
The future was where it starts getting a bit... off-topic. It seemed like in an attempt to fill the pages, random stories and winding discussions about nothing that seemed on topic or related, were used instead of the excellent information in the beginning.
Still very worth the read.
SO
This starts off really well, talking about current issues, good stats, real discussions.
The future was where it starts getting a bit... off-topic. It seemed like in an attempt to fill the pages, random stories and winding discussions about nothing that seemed on topic or related, were used instead of the excellent information in the beginning.
Still very worth the read.
September 7, 2019
As a male victim of multiple domestic abuse episodes ( aided and abetted by the Family Court in one case ), and a lifelong conscientious objector to the values encased within the ' Man Box ' , I was drawn to this book both by the title and the synopsis - as it is my belief that the more focus and awareness there is out there for male issues the better the community can tackle the problems presented by DV and the issues surrounding sexual harassment and so on.
On the whole the book is a very well written and constructed piece of prose, and gives the reader a very clear insight into the subject matter. Personal anecdotes add to the overall quality, and the explanation of those vile traits that come together to make up the ' man box ' is very well referenced and quantified throughout the book.
However, Mr Barker then proceeds to completely ruin all his good work in a single chapter - Chapter 3. His vitriolic and incessant rants against Men's Rights Activists severely detract from the quality of the work. In particular, his musings about a group of people referred to as ' incels ' .
Obviously, I do not advocate the more extreme beliefs or actions of MRA's, however, I passionately believe that such an organized group are imperative in today's society, as men's issues have become swamped by a society obsessed with demonizing the entire male gender for the scourge of domestic violence. As such, in the main, MRA's should be encouraged and not slandered.
The subject of ' incels ' and the comments by Mr Barker about them also raised my ire on several fronts. Whilst I cannot legitimately claim to be an ' incel ' having been married twice, currently partnered, and had a reasonably regular string of relationships, I do sympathise with their plight and their problem is very real. The facts are - unpalatable as it is - that females are very superficial, shallow creatures, and unless a man conforms to a certain ' style ' , ' persona ' or other surface projection, he is deemed worthless and of no value by the female gender, who, despite Mr Barker's claims, are in the vast majority seeking ' chads ' or ' slayers ' and won't compromise their standards, preferring to become angry, unfulfilled 40 something spinsters rather than lowering the bar and achieving happiness.
To wit, Mr Barker's rants about ' incels ' are very hollow in that they would be far more convincing coming from a 5'5" bespectacled, freckled base level clerical worker as opposed to a self professed tall, big bodied ex professional rugby player and corporate high flier.
I don't profess to be an expert in the field of psychology or human behavior but whilst the book I believe has some value as a semi - comedic look at the male state, and even some merit as a self help book, I think it misses the mark in addressing the issue of domestic abuse. The key to addressing male violence against women lies in educating women - not men - to change their attitudes and behaviours - to look outside the ' man box ' for suitable partners, not to compete for the ' chads ' and ' slayers ' , and to see the traits exhibited by the inhabitants of the ' man box ' as repulsive, not attractive and highly sought after. And to acknowledge that just as many men as women are victims of abuse. Only then will this horrible scourge begin to recede.
On the whole I would recommend the book but as light reading, rather than a serious attempt to address an important social issue.
Footnote to review on 7/9/19 - I have just read the marvelous book ' Sons Of Feminism ' by Janice Flamenco and gone back straight after and read this one again. Such a difference in presentation and examination of the facts and the pernicious effect of aggressive, hostile and belligerent feminism and the lies it uses to brainwash its followers and society in general, which is completely missed - or blatantly ignored - by the Barker tome. I recommend anyone that has read The Revolution Of Man and views it in a positive light, should read both Sons of Feminism and Warren Farrell's ' The Myth Of Male Power ' , both which present a far more balanced and accurate view of the forcibly emasculated state of modern man than the literary diarrhoea contained in Chapter 3 of Barker's book, which is little more than a personal rant by a self professed Slayer against lesser men, presents.
On the whole the book is a very well written and constructed piece of prose, and gives the reader a very clear insight into the subject matter. Personal anecdotes add to the overall quality, and the explanation of those vile traits that come together to make up the ' man box ' is very well referenced and quantified throughout the book.
However, Mr Barker then proceeds to completely ruin all his good work in a single chapter - Chapter 3. His vitriolic and incessant rants against Men's Rights Activists severely detract from the quality of the work. In particular, his musings about a group of people referred to as ' incels ' .
Obviously, I do not advocate the more extreme beliefs or actions of MRA's, however, I passionately believe that such an organized group are imperative in today's society, as men's issues have become swamped by a society obsessed with demonizing the entire male gender for the scourge of domestic violence. As such, in the main, MRA's should be encouraged and not slandered.
The subject of ' incels ' and the comments by Mr Barker about them also raised my ire on several fronts. Whilst I cannot legitimately claim to be an ' incel ' having been married twice, currently partnered, and had a reasonably regular string of relationships, I do sympathise with their plight and their problem is very real. The facts are - unpalatable as it is - that females are very superficial, shallow creatures, and unless a man conforms to a certain ' style ' , ' persona ' or other surface projection, he is deemed worthless and of no value by the female gender, who, despite Mr Barker's claims, are in the vast majority seeking ' chads ' or ' slayers ' and won't compromise their standards, preferring to become angry, unfulfilled 40 something spinsters rather than lowering the bar and achieving happiness.
To wit, Mr Barker's rants about ' incels ' are very hollow in that they would be far more convincing coming from a 5'5" bespectacled, freckled base level clerical worker as opposed to a self professed tall, big bodied ex professional rugby player and corporate high flier.
I don't profess to be an expert in the field of psychology or human behavior but whilst the book I believe has some value as a semi - comedic look at the male state, and even some merit as a self help book, I think it misses the mark in addressing the issue of domestic abuse. The key to addressing male violence against women lies in educating women - not men - to change their attitudes and behaviours - to look outside the ' man box ' for suitable partners, not to compete for the ' chads ' and ' slayers ' , and to see the traits exhibited by the inhabitants of the ' man box ' as repulsive, not attractive and highly sought after. And to acknowledge that just as many men as women are victims of abuse. Only then will this horrible scourge begin to recede.
On the whole I would recommend the book but as light reading, rather than a serious attempt to address an important social issue.
Footnote to review on 7/9/19 - I have just read the marvelous book ' Sons Of Feminism ' by Janice Flamenco and gone back straight after and read this one again. Such a difference in presentation and examination of the facts and the pernicious effect of aggressive, hostile and belligerent feminism and the lies it uses to brainwash its followers and society in general, which is completely missed - or blatantly ignored - by the Barker tome. I recommend anyone that has read The Revolution Of Man and views it in a positive light, should read both Sons of Feminism and Warren Farrell's ' The Myth Of Male Power ' , both which present a far more balanced and accurate view of the forcibly emasculated state of modern man than the literary diarrhoea contained in Chapter 3 of Barker's book, which is little more than a personal rant by a self professed Slayer against lesser men, presents.
October 15, 2021
Quick to read. A mix of self-help, some statistics, interviews, observations, mainly based on Australian experience. Maybe could have been less observational and more analytical. Still, one of those books that is trying to redefine masculinity in the 21st century. Not too much to take away from this book, but the "man-box" concept is something I´ll read more on.
June 19, 2022
Phil Baker writes his perspective about toxic masculinity and how he addressed this issue throughout his life. Some facts he presents are really important, but the book also has a great deal of autobiography and personal opinions of the author. A good mix between personal view and information
September 14, 2022
The begging has some really nice and important insights and statistics.
However, as you go along with the book, it seems like the author is attempting to fill pages with stories that, in my opinion, don't add value to the book.
However, as you go along with the book, it seems like the author is attempting to fill pages with stories that, in my opinion, don't add value to the book.
December 3, 2021
Easy read with a lot of insights into the male experience
April 14, 2022
would recommend to any (cishet) man in my life....
July 9, 2025
For sure a book that I would recommend any man to read. A book that brings up lot of topics that encourage man to do better.
4 stars because the author digresses the narrative a bit.
4 stars because the author digresses the narrative a bit.
October 15, 2023
3/5
Good read, start is more interesting, and then it seems the last parts are a bit more scattered with random tid bits. Kinda like a memoir at times but entertaining and interesting at most times.
Some cool stats there too
Thanks to my office for renovating and giving out old books!
Good read, start is more interesting, and then it seems the last parts are a bit more scattered with random tid bits. Kinda like a memoir at times but entertaining and interesting at most times.
Some cool stats there too
Thanks to my office for renovating and giving out old books!
March 21, 2019
**Warning: this text may contain spoilers** **Warning: this text may contain spoilers** I highly recommend for anyone to read.
As a female, it provides insight, reasoning, perspective and social context of the most overused and insensitive phrase "Be a man".
For a male, it will provide insight that the phrase has incorrectly been ingrained in society and thus creating a social expectation, which is outdated, and harm to the male generation.
Little we know that this notion starts from birth, unconsciously. From subtle notions of colours separating gender, to socially transmitted behaviour from parent to child. Adult behaviour is defined from what we learnt from our parents. Yes, parents may think they have the best intention for their child, but you are not your child, you can't feel what they feel or think. A child is not an extension to the parent.
As a female, it provides insight, reasoning, perspective and social context of the most overused and insensitive phrase "Be a man".
For a male, it will provide insight that the phrase has incorrectly been ingrained in society and thus creating a social expectation, which is outdated, and harm to the male generation.
Little we know that this notion starts from birth, unconsciously. From subtle notions of colours separating gender, to socially transmitted behaviour from parent to child. Adult behaviour is defined from what we learnt from our parents. Yes, parents may think they have the best intention for their child, but you are not your child, you can't feel what they feel or think. A child is not an extension to the parent.
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews