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The Road Home
When she’s passed over for the role of a lifetime, Hollywood actress Gwendolyn Carter is absolutely crushed. That’s when things go from bad to worse. Home to celebrate her dad’s birthday, Gwen discovers her mom is sick and might not have much time left. She stays to help and to repair the emotional rift that has kept them apart for so long. That’s easier said than done, though, because oh-so-perfect Lila Machowicz has all but replaced Gwen as Carol Carter's surrogate daughter.
Gwen and Lila are forced to work together to support the woman they both care about, even though they’re rivals for a place in Carol’s life. The last thing either expects is an attraction as undeniable as it is inconvenient. When Lila helps Gwen rebuild trust with her mom, Gwen’s heart begins to thaw. But every family has a closet full of skeletons, and when she discovers the family secret, will she ever be able to trust Lila again?
Cover Artist: Tammy Seidick
Genres: Contemporary / Romance
Tags: Enemies to Lovers Romance, Homecoming, Age Gap, Small Town Romances
Words: 86,000
Gwen and Lila are forced to work together to support the woman they both care about, even though they’re rivals for a place in Carol’s life. The last thing either expects is an attraction as undeniable as it is inconvenient. When Lila helps Gwen rebuild trust with her mom, Gwen’s heart begins to thaw. But every family has a closet full of skeletons, and when she discovers the family secret, will she ever be able to trust Lila again?
Cover Artist: Tammy Seidick
Genres: Contemporary / Romance
Tags: Enemies to Lovers Romance, Homecoming, Age Gap, Small Town Romances
Words: 86,000
290 pages, Paperback
First published May 1, 2020
36 people are currently reading
713 people want to read
About the author
Erin Zak
18 books352 followersErin Zak is a sapphic contemporary romance writer who loves older women, imperfect people, and beautiful places. She’s a bit dorky and quirky and tries to make sure every single one of her characters has those same qualities. You can find her on Twitter and Instagram at @erinzakwrites. You can also listen to her podcast, The Weekly Wine Down, where she gets tipsy with her best friends while discussing any and everything.
www.erinzak.com
www.erinzak.com
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 123 reviews
April 26, 2020
4.50 Stars. This damn book! I have to be honest that I was not going to read this. While I loved Zak’s last book Beautiful Accidents, I was worried about how The Road Home would affect me. We all have our personal triggers and cancer storylines are one of my biggest triggers. My family has been ravished by this disease so I deal with it enough in real life that I don’t need to read about it in fiction. What changed my mind here was that last weekend Bold Stokes Books had some free Zoom webinars. Zak, Ali Vali, and Fiona Riley were on a panel together and the three of them stole the day. They were funny and put a rare smile on my face these days. I thought how can I not go and read Zak’s new book now. Was it hard to read? Yes! Zak ripped my heart out and stomped on it. But I did get through it and most importantly… it’s Zak’s best book yet.
This book grabbed me from the beginning. While we have all read the coming home storyline before, I don’t think I’ve read anything quite like this premise. One main is a daughter who is estranged from her mother and is coming home for the first time in more than a decade. The other main is almost a part of the family too as the estranged mother took her in as a teenager. Can you imagine coming home to meet the woman that basically took your place? The woman that your mother loves the way you wished she loved you? Hello drama! I don’t know where Zak came up with this idea but you know it was about to go down. Add in that pesky thing called attraction, and I could not stop reading this book.
I loved all the drama in this book. Once you think you have a good feel on what’s happening, Zak pulls something else out of her pocket. There is not a dull spot in this book. And on top of that is the tough, tough, cancer storyline. Just bring a box of tissues with you, you will need most of the box. It was well done because it was very realistic. Really hard to read in parts but it was well done.
Besides the drama and all the tears, this also has a good romance. It’s an enemies to lovers romance and I don’t really have any complaints. I really liked the conflict between them and watching how it changed into chemistry. There is a lot going on in this book and the romance could have easily gotten swallowed up, but instead it worked well for me personally and I think it worked well for the book.
To go right to the point is that I believe this is Zak’s best book so far. She has been getting better and better with each book and now I have to put her on my automatic read list. Zak is now too good to miss. I do have to be clear that this is a tough book to read. I was not kidding about needing a box of tissues. This book will get to you emotionally especially if you have lost loved ones to cancer. This book is raw. I honestly don’t know if I would want to read it again. But I am glad I changed my mind about reading this, I would not have wanted to miss this book.
An ARC was given to me for a honest review.
This book grabbed me from the beginning. While we have all read the coming home storyline before, I don’t think I’ve read anything quite like this premise. One main is a daughter who is estranged from her mother and is coming home for the first time in more than a decade. The other main is almost a part of the family too as the estranged mother took her in as a teenager. Can you imagine coming home to meet the woman that basically took your place? The woman that your mother loves the way you wished she loved you? Hello drama! I don’t know where Zak came up with this idea but you know it was about to go down. Add in that pesky thing called attraction, and I could not stop reading this book.
I loved all the drama in this book. Once you think you have a good feel on what’s happening, Zak pulls something else out of her pocket. There is not a dull spot in this book. And on top of that is the tough, tough, cancer storyline. Just bring a box of tissues with you, you will need most of the box. It was well done because it was very realistic. Really hard to read in parts but it was well done.
Besides the drama and all the tears, this also has a good romance. It’s an enemies to lovers romance and I don’t really have any complaints. I really liked the conflict between them and watching how it changed into chemistry. There is a lot going on in this book and the romance could have easily gotten swallowed up, but instead it worked well for me personally and I think it worked well for the book.
To go right to the point is that I believe this is Zak’s best book so far. She has been getting better and better with each book and now I have to put her on my automatic read list. Zak is now too good to miss. I do have to be clear that this is a tough book to read. I was not kidding about needing a box of tissues. This book will get to you emotionally especially if you have lost loved ones to cancer. This book is raw. I honestly don’t know if I would want to read it again. But I am glad I changed my mind about reading this, I would not have wanted to miss this book.
An ARC was given to me for a honest review.
April 26, 2020
Gwendolyn Carter has spent the last seventeen years hating her mother for all the ways she’s put her down as she was growing up and, most of all, for her terrible response when she discovered her only daughter was a lesbian. Summoned home for her dad’s birthday, Gwendolyn is faced with multiple challenges. Not only is her mother sick and probably dying, Gwendolyn has to get along with the woman who, to all intents and purposes, took her place in the household, becoming Carol’s new daughter, her best friend and her colleague. To top it all, David, Gwendolyn’s father, her hero, turns out to not be such a great guy after all.
I have so many feelings about this book, I’m not sure where to start. Maybe with acknowledging how brave it is of Erin Zak to have written this book. This isn’t simply a work of imagination. It’s wonderfully written but what makes it so moving is how raw it feels, how real. I don’t know if I would be able to revisit such a heart-wrenching experience as losing a parent and come out with something so beautiful.
In addition to the grief the characters start preparing themselves to, and already face as soon as they learn Carol’s cancer is back, Erin Zak describes with delicate brush strokes all that’s complex in mother/daughter relationships, the resentment, the love, the admiration, the need for validation. As Gwendolyn re-evaluates her own behaviour and her reactions to her mother’s behaviour, she opens herself to something new and magnificent, as she allows herself to see Lila, her mother’s surrogate daughter, for who she is and not the person Gwendolyn has refused to even imagine liking. The attraction is undeniable, inconvenient and breathtaking. The chemistry between the two women is tremendous, and I love how they deal with the notion that they’re both Carol’s daughters, yet not, and the potential creepiness. I love that they have such a hard time resisting and I love the moment they decide to give in. And while the romance arc is awesome, each and every relationship of the story is complex and layered, whether it’s Gwendolyn’s relationship to her parents, to her best friend, to volleyball, to her career as an actress in Hollywood, or Carol and David’s marriage, Lila’s relationship with both Carol and David, with the volleyball players she coaches. Every one of them is full of little things that make them genuine and plausible.
Erin Zak is one of those authors I kinda missed, for some reason. The first of her books I read was Beautiful Accidents last year, and, for me, it was 5* all the way. I think I loved this one even more…
I received a copy from the publisher and I am voluntarily leaving a review.
I have so many feelings about this book, I’m not sure where to start. Maybe with acknowledging how brave it is of Erin Zak to have written this book. This isn’t simply a work of imagination. It’s wonderfully written but what makes it so moving is how raw it feels, how real. I don’t know if I would be able to revisit such a heart-wrenching experience as losing a parent and come out with something so beautiful.
In addition to the grief the characters start preparing themselves to, and already face as soon as they learn Carol’s cancer is back, Erin Zak describes with delicate brush strokes all that’s complex in mother/daughter relationships, the resentment, the love, the admiration, the need for validation. As Gwendolyn re-evaluates her own behaviour and her reactions to her mother’s behaviour, she opens herself to something new and magnificent, as she allows herself to see Lila, her mother’s surrogate daughter, for who she is and not the person Gwendolyn has refused to even imagine liking. The attraction is undeniable, inconvenient and breathtaking. The chemistry between the two women is tremendous, and I love how they deal with the notion that they’re both Carol’s daughters, yet not, and the potential creepiness. I love that they have such a hard time resisting and I love the moment they decide to give in. And while the romance arc is awesome, each and every relationship of the story is complex and layered, whether it’s Gwendolyn’s relationship to her parents, to her best friend, to volleyball, to her career as an actress in Hollywood, or Carol and David’s marriage, Lila’s relationship with both Carol and David, with the volleyball players she coaches. Every one of them is full of little things that make them genuine and plausible.
Erin Zak is one of those authors I kinda missed, for some reason. The first of her books I read was Beautiful Accidents last year, and, for me, it was 5* all the way. I think I loved this one even more…
I received a copy from the publisher and I am voluntarily leaving a review.
May 18, 2020
An absolute heart breaker but so worth the read.
The plot. Gwendoline Carter returns home for a quick visit to celebrate her father's birthday. Things take a drastic turn however when she learns that her mother is sick. The same woman who was the reason she left home in the first place. When she meets Lila, the woman she considers to be her mother's substitute daughter, things get even more complicated. Surely she's not attracted to Lila of all people?
The characters. Focusing for a second only on Gwen and Lila, I found their relationship and attraction to be completely believable. Even in moments when you would normally think "how can they be thinking about sex during a time like that?" It still made sense to me. It's all about distraction, both physical and emotional and feeling anything other than pain. Once the dust has settled however that's when you wave goodbye to your libido for a while.
The writing. Simply put the book is very well written. It packs an emotional punch, has great characters and offers a good mix of heartbreak, love and forgiveness.
The special. When I first picked up this book, I figured "I can handle this, it's not the same as what I went through". Barely one chapter in and I was already going FML! Why? My mom passed away on September 17th. When I was 17. Which was 17 years ago now. So of course I pick up a book where the character hasn't seen her mom in .. 17 years.
The negative. Please note the following has nothing to do with the quality of writing but I do need to point out the obvious triggers involved in this book. Erin Zak did an amazing job showing the ugly and sometimes hopeless side of cancer. It's an awful thing for everyone involved and can be very triggering to read about.
The verdict. Dear universe thou art a heartless bitch sometimes. I really didn't need the 17 year reminder but i'll never regret reading this book. Job incredibly well done Ms. Zak! 4,5*
Dear Diary Moment #681
"It doesn't matter how old you are or whether or not you have kids of your own. As a woman, when your mom dies, you immediately feel like a lost child again. Things will get better eventually but you'll never forget feeling that way."
~My history teacher Mrs. de Bruin, 2002
The plot. Gwendoline Carter returns home for a quick visit to celebrate her father's birthday. Things take a drastic turn however when she learns that her mother is sick. The same woman who was the reason she left home in the first place. When she meets Lila, the woman she considers to be her mother's substitute daughter, things get even more complicated. Surely she's not attracted to Lila of all people?
The characters. Focusing for a second only on Gwen and Lila, I found their relationship and attraction to be completely believable. Even in moments when you would normally think "how can they be thinking about sex during a time like that?" It still made sense to me. It's all about distraction, both physical and emotional and feeling anything other than pain. Once the dust has settled however that's when you wave goodbye to your libido for a while.
The writing. Simply put the book is very well written. It packs an emotional punch, has great characters and offers a good mix of heartbreak, love and forgiveness.
The special. When I first picked up this book, I figured "I can handle this, it's not the same as what I went through". Barely one chapter in and I was already going FML! Why? My mom passed away on September 17th. When I was 17. Which was 17 years ago now. So of course I pick up a book where the character hasn't seen her mom in .. 17 years.
The negative. Please note the following has nothing to do with the quality of writing but I do need to point out the obvious triggers involved in this book. Erin Zak did an amazing job showing the ugly and sometimes hopeless side of cancer. It's an awful thing for everyone involved and can be very triggering to read about.
The verdict. Dear universe thou art a heartless bitch sometimes. I really didn't need the 17 year reminder but i'll never regret reading this book. Job incredibly well done Ms. Zak! 4,5*
Dear Diary Moment #681
"It doesn't matter how old you are or whether or not you have kids of your own. As a woman, when your mom dies, you immediately feel like a lost child again. Things will get better eventually but you'll never forget feeling that way."
~My history teacher Mrs. de Bruin, 2002
February 1, 2021
The Road Home is a story about individuals dealing with heart wrenching news and learning how to deal with it as a family.
Gwen Carter comes home to Indiana after 17 years. She’s given Hollywood her best shot but as she closes in on 40, she knows elusive superstardom is never going to happen. Meanwhile, her parents, who are teachers in the small town, haven’t had much recent connection with their daughter until her father’s birthday party draws her back. When Gwen finally returns, all of the old wounds flare up and she’s once again at odds with her mother. Worse, her parents have a surrogate daughter named Lila who appears to be perfect and has seemingly taken her place in their hearts.
The real story, of course, begins when Gwen discovers that her mother is very ill. The author captures the internal tug of war within Gwen. She wants to be angry, she’s entitled to have those bitter feelings but 17 years is a long time to hold onto anything and with time running out, she needs to decide. Families can be flawed and imperfect but also incredibly vital. For me, the most potent scenes are the quiet and the stillness. They’re the private gatherings of family and friends surrounding a loved one in final conversations and giving and receiving comfort. One of the most difficult things to do is to let go of past battles and to say goodbye with dignity. The author writes a powerful book that shows both. In addition, the loving relationship that grows between Gwen and Lila allows light into what otherwise is an extremely painful story. I’m not going to lie. I was wiped out for a few days after I finished but no regrets.
Gwen Carter comes home to Indiana after 17 years. She’s given Hollywood her best shot but as she closes in on 40, she knows elusive superstardom is never going to happen. Meanwhile, her parents, who are teachers in the small town, haven’t had much recent connection with their daughter until her father’s birthday party draws her back. When Gwen finally returns, all of the old wounds flare up and she’s once again at odds with her mother. Worse, her parents have a surrogate daughter named Lila who appears to be perfect and has seemingly taken her place in their hearts.
The real story, of course, begins when Gwen discovers that her mother is very ill. The author captures the internal tug of war within Gwen. She wants to be angry, she’s entitled to have those bitter feelings but 17 years is a long time to hold onto anything and with time running out, she needs to decide. Families can be flawed and imperfect but also incredibly vital. For me, the most potent scenes are the quiet and the stillness. They’re the private gatherings of family and friends surrounding a loved one in final conversations and giving and receiving comfort. One of the most difficult things to do is to let go of past battles and to say goodbye with dignity. The author writes a powerful book that shows both. In addition, the loving relationship that grows between Gwen and Lila allows light into what otherwise is an extremely painful story. I’m not going to lie. I was wiped out for a few days after I finished but no regrets.
May 27, 2020
I have to say that Erin Zak is slowly but surely coming up in the list of my favourite lesfic authors. I like her writing style, the depth of her characters, and the way she builds chemistry in romance. Having said that, I wasn't going to read this novel as I try to avoid drama as the plague. But my friend Jude from Jude in the stars blog recommended it to me and I'm glad I took the plunge.
Gwendolyn Carter is a struggling actress in LA after leaving a small town in Indiana seventeen years prior. She's never been back since due to a bitter conflict with her mother. When her mum is diagnosed with cancer, she goes back home and finds she has been apparently replaced by Lila Machowicz, a beautiful and caring woman who is her mother's best friend. As they initially clashed, Gwen and Lila will eventually find common ground and an undeniable attraction. But can they trust each other despite the family secrets that surround them?
Even though that this is not an easy read, I'm amazed at how Ms. Zak has created a beautiful romance out of a sad and tragic situation. Unfortunately, the author has the experience of losing her mother to the disease and it's incredibly brave of her (and I assume cathartic too) to write about it. Her descriptions of Gwen's mother's deterioration process were done with gentleness but pulling no punches.
All characters feel authentic in their successes and shortcomings, they all seem human and real. The chemistry between the main characters is built slowly but surely and their emotional and romantic connection is a pleasure to read. My only criticism is a last-minute plot twist that didn't feel organic to the story though it's a minor issue and other readers might not care about it.
Overall, a very good romance / drama story dealing with difficult issues around love, death, and family. 4.5 stars.
See all my reviews at www.lezreviewbooks.com
Gwendolyn Carter is a struggling actress in LA after leaving a small town in Indiana seventeen years prior. She's never been back since due to a bitter conflict with her mother. When her mum is diagnosed with cancer, she goes back home and finds she has been apparently replaced by Lila Machowicz, a beautiful and caring woman who is her mother's best friend. As they initially clashed, Gwen and Lila will eventually find common ground and an undeniable attraction. But can they trust each other despite the family secrets that surround them?
Even though that this is not an easy read, I'm amazed at how Ms. Zak has created a beautiful romance out of a sad and tragic situation. Unfortunately, the author has the experience of losing her mother to the disease and it's incredibly brave of her (and I assume cathartic too) to write about it. Her descriptions of Gwen's mother's deterioration process were done with gentleness but pulling no punches.
All characters feel authentic in their successes and shortcomings, they all seem human and real. The chemistry between the main characters is built slowly but surely and their emotional and romantic connection is a pleasure to read. My only criticism is a last-minute plot twist that didn't feel organic to the story though it's a minor issue and other readers might not care about it.
Overall, a very good romance / drama story dealing with difficult issues around love, death, and family. 4.5 stars.
See all my reviews at www.lezreviewbooks.com
May 31, 2020
Emotional.
Gwen up and left everything to pursue an acting career in California. And to be far away from her homophobic mother. Gwen reluctantly agrees to travel home for her father's birthday party, only to discover that her mother is sick. There, she meets Lila, who has been somewhat of a replacement daughter for her parents since Gwen has been away.
The book was written well and flowed naturally. I was always interested in what was going to happen next. The author carefully constructed complicated relationships between Gwen and her mother, father, and friends. So there was a lot of anticipation to discover the inner workings of their dynamic and why Gwen needed to escape so long ago.
I love flawed characters, and this book was filled with them. Everyone was likable but weighted down by failed expectations, uncertain futures, the potential loss of loved ones, infidelity, etc. This was a tough book to get through because you were rooting for things to resolve for them but you kind of new that it wouldn't be the happiest of all endings.
As the story progressed, I liked the chemistry between Gwen and Lila but I failed to understand why Lila was interested in Gwen. Gwen seemed more like an enigma to her than anything. The long lost daughter who is a semi-famous actress that nobody really speaks of. And when they are first introduced, Gwen is a raging b---- to her. I wish there would have been something on a deeper level that initially connected them to help me feel more invested into what could develop there.
The larger theme of this book is the strained relationship between Gwen and her mother. I have to say that I never really felt satisfaction of knowing why her mother treated her so poorly as a child and what/when was the catalyst for her change of heart. Seemed a little bit too easily wrapped up without providing the answers I was looking for.
And there was a bizarre reveal that I don't think was necessary at all in this story.
Overall, I enjoyed the book. It was entertaining and just emotional enough for when you are in the mood for a rainy day romantic family drama.
I recommend this to those who like to read about romance, estranged families, terminal illness, caring for sick people, infidelity, volleyball, and flailing actors.
I received an ARC from the publisher for an honest review.
Gwen up and left everything to pursue an acting career in California. And to be far away from her homophobic mother. Gwen reluctantly agrees to travel home for her father's birthday party, only to discover that her mother is sick. There, she meets Lila, who has been somewhat of a replacement daughter for her parents since Gwen has been away.
The book was written well and flowed naturally. I was always interested in what was going to happen next. The author carefully constructed complicated relationships between Gwen and her mother, father, and friends. So there was a lot of anticipation to discover the inner workings of their dynamic and why Gwen needed to escape so long ago.
I love flawed characters, and this book was filled with them. Everyone was likable but weighted down by failed expectations, uncertain futures, the potential loss of loved ones, infidelity, etc. This was a tough book to get through because you were rooting for things to resolve for them but you kind of new that it wouldn't be the happiest of all endings.
As the story progressed, I liked the chemistry between Gwen and Lila but I failed to understand why Lila was interested in Gwen. Gwen seemed more like an enigma to her than anything. The long lost daughter who is a semi-famous actress that nobody really speaks of. And when they are first introduced, Gwen is a raging b---- to her. I wish there would have been something on a deeper level that initially connected them to help me feel more invested into what could develop there.
The larger theme of this book is the strained relationship between Gwen and her mother. I have to say that I never really felt satisfaction of knowing why her mother treated her so poorly as a child and what/when was the catalyst for her change of heart. Seemed a little bit too easily wrapped up without providing the answers I was looking for.
And there was a bizarre reveal that I don't think was necessary at all in this story.
Overall, I enjoyed the book. It was entertaining and just emotional enough for when you are in the mood for a rainy day romantic family drama.
I recommend this to those who like to read about romance, estranged families, terminal illness, caring for sick people, infidelity, volleyball, and flailing actors.
I received an ARC from the publisher for an honest review.
March 23, 2022
This was my first book by Erin Zak, but it will definitely not me by last.
I have so many feelings about this book I am not sure where to start. Maybe an upfront warning: don’t read this book if you are looking for some easy romance novel, this is that but also A LOT more. And everything surrounding the budding relationship is what makes this a fantastic story.
Gwen comes home for the first time in 17 years, all these years she has been trying to make it in Hollywood and has been hating her mom. She feels replaced by Lila, who came to live with her parents after she left. Without ever having met her she hates her. When Gwen and Lila meet for the first time, they both experience attraction, mixed with hatred and other confusing emotions. Carol, Gwen’s mom, has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. When Gwen finds out she has no clue what to do. She is still trying to mend things with her mom, but also doesn’t feel like mending things. Gwen feels left out at time, because Lila seems to know everything and has this easy rapport with her mom. While Gwen and Lila try not to act on their attraction and connection, they are also dealing with the many emotions that come with taking care of someone on dead’s door step.
You can tell by the raw emotion and details in the book Zak has experienced some, if not all, of the horrible emotions that come with taking care of someone with stage IV cancer. Cancer is horrible, taking care of a loved one dying from it is one of the worst experiences. I think it is a brave move from this author to maybe deal with her pain this way, come up with a love story around the pain as well. But I feel the love story is really the secondary story in this book, and it doesn’t bother me at all. Erin Zak did a great job of writing characters with depth and relatable emotions, laced it with some nice dark humour here and there and made it feel like an authentic story. I am not one who cries while reading or watching tv, but this one had me blinking a lot and wiping the corners or my eyes.
*ARC received in exchange for an honest review*
I have so many feelings about this book I am not sure where to start. Maybe an upfront warning: don’t read this book if you are looking for some easy romance novel, this is that but also A LOT more. And everything surrounding the budding relationship is what makes this a fantastic story.
Gwen comes home for the first time in 17 years, all these years she has been trying to make it in Hollywood and has been hating her mom. She feels replaced by Lila, who came to live with her parents after she left. Without ever having met her she hates her. When Gwen and Lila meet for the first time, they both experience attraction, mixed with hatred and other confusing emotions. Carol, Gwen’s mom, has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. When Gwen finds out she has no clue what to do. She is still trying to mend things with her mom, but also doesn’t feel like mending things. Gwen feels left out at time, because Lila seems to know everything and has this easy rapport with her mom. While Gwen and Lila try not to act on their attraction and connection, they are also dealing with the many emotions that come with taking care of someone on dead’s door step.
You can tell by the raw emotion and details in the book Zak has experienced some, if not all, of the horrible emotions that come with taking care of someone with stage IV cancer. Cancer is horrible, taking care of a loved one dying from it is one of the worst experiences. I think it is a brave move from this author to maybe deal with her pain this way, come up with a love story around the pain as well. But I feel the love story is really the secondary story in this book, and it doesn’t bother me at all. Erin Zak did a great job of writing characters with depth and relatable emotions, laced it with some nice dark humour here and there and made it feel like an authentic story. I am not one who cries while reading or watching tv, but this one had me blinking a lot and wiping the corners or my eyes.
*ARC received in exchange for an honest review*
January 13, 2024
ARC received via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
I knew going in that this was as much about a mother and daughter coming to terms as it was a romance (more so really) and that it had a cancer storyline, so my fault entirely for requesting it anyway. My only defence is that I have enjoyed all of Zak’s books and thought I could handle it. Yeah, I was wrong.
So, the main characters here are Gwen, a barely made it actress who lives in LA and has been estranged from her mother Carol for 15 years. She comes home for her father’s birthday and discovers that her mother is ill. Complicating this is that while she was gone her parents essentially replaced her with the other MC, Lila, who not only moved in and became the new daughter, she also coaches volleyball with Carol.
Most of the story and many of the most moving parts revolve around Gwen and her mother and their reconciliation. During this process Lila and Gwen get to know each other and fall in love. To be honest, I didn’t really buy into their relationship, I didn’t feel the chemistry between them and the constant harping on them almost being ‘sisters’ was annoying and distracting. There’s also a lot of soap opera moments around the parents marriage, including a reveal at the end that just had me shaking my head. In a book that was trying to do so much, it felt like a step too far.
Having lost my mother to Alzheimer’s and my dad to cancer/Parkinson’s reading this was like picking at a never healed wound and around the 85% mark I had to put it down, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to finish it. Not because it was bad, just because of the feelings it evoked. It’s a raw and unflinching look at the devastation of illness and finding hope even in grief. I’m giving it 4 stars only because I thought there were a few too many soap opera twists towards the end, but still recommend it, just be warned, it’s not an easy read, and it will be harder for some.
I knew going in that this was as much about a mother and daughter coming to terms as it was a romance (more so really) and that it had a cancer storyline, so my fault entirely for requesting it anyway. My only defence is that I have enjoyed all of Zak’s books and thought I could handle it. Yeah, I was wrong.
So, the main characters here are Gwen, a barely made it actress who lives in LA and has been estranged from her mother Carol for 15 years. She comes home for her father’s birthday and discovers that her mother is ill. Complicating this is that while she was gone her parents essentially replaced her with the other MC, Lila, who not only moved in and became the new daughter, she also coaches volleyball with Carol.
Most of the story and many of the most moving parts revolve around Gwen and her mother and their reconciliation. During this process Lila and Gwen get to know each other and fall in love. To be honest, I didn’t really buy into their relationship, I didn’t feel the chemistry between them and the constant harping on them almost being ‘sisters’ was annoying and distracting. There’s also a lot of soap opera moments around the parents marriage, including a reveal at the end that just had me shaking my head. In a book that was trying to do so much, it felt like a step too far.
Having lost my mother to Alzheimer’s and my dad to cancer/Parkinson’s reading this was like picking at a never healed wound and around the 85% mark I had to put it down, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to finish it. Not because it was bad, just because of the feelings it evoked. It’s a raw and unflinching look at the devastation of illness and finding hope even in grief. I’m giving it 4 stars only because I thought there were a few too many soap opera twists towards the end, but still recommend it, just be warned, it’s not an easy read, and it will be harder for some.
January 22, 2021
OK So I saw that I still had this on my TBR so bought it a few weeks ago, and as I started reading I was like "I have so read this before." Yet I saw I left no review. Nevertheless I breezed through it again, and low and behold, I found my rough draft for the first read, from June 2020. And I realize I have almost the exact same sentiments from round 2, so here she blows:
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It has taken me awhile to write anything down about this book. For one, I read it at a low point, not realizing it would get THAT deep and sad. So I am sure that affected the rating. Two, I felt there were some big holes that didn't add up. Three, as with others, I lost a parent to cancer and damn it all did this bring up some very intense moments from my past.
As others have said, this is SAD. Heart-breaking, really. Though I do feel the author dealt with such a heavy subject like cancer with dignity, a l'il editing would have been welcome. By the middle to 75%, the internal dialogues, reflection and introspection the MCs were having became very repetitive.
I also feel there are ends that just didn't add up. Enter a long spoiler:
All that being said, I did like the MCs together, Gwendolyn and Lila, and their enemies turned lovers trope worked well. I felt the angst and the disappointment and the jealousy on all sides. They were thrown together during a deeply emotional time and I found this part so well done. They both fucked up, both were so invested in their "parents," and both had off the charts attraction. Unconventional maybe, unique twist, most definitely. Neat.
All in all I will stick with a solid 3.25. I can't believe I put myself through this rollercoaster of sadness a second time, haha! Had to get my money's worth! :p
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It has taken me awhile to write anything down about this book. For one, I read it at a low point, not realizing it would get THAT deep and sad. So I am sure that affected the rating. Two, I felt there were some big holes that didn't add up. Three, as with others, I lost a parent to cancer and damn it all did this bring up some very intense moments from my past.
As others have said, this is SAD. Heart-breaking, really. Though I do feel the author dealt with such a heavy subject like cancer with dignity, a l'il editing would have been welcome. By the middle to 75%, the internal dialogues, reflection and introspection the MCs were having became very repetitive.
I also feel there are ends that just didn't add up. Enter a long spoiler:
All that being said, I did like the MCs together, Gwendolyn and Lila, and their enemies turned lovers trope worked well. I felt the angst and the disappointment and the jealousy on all sides. They were thrown together during a deeply emotional time and I found this part so well done. They both fucked up, both were so invested in their "parents," and both had off the charts attraction. Unconventional maybe, unique twist, most definitely. Neat.
All in all I will stick with a solid 3.25. I can't believe I put myself through this rollercoaster of sadness a second time, haha! Had to get my money's worth! :p
January 14, 2021
Second book that I’ve read by Erin Zak. Didn’t fancy the 1st book that I read and frankly, didn’t want to expect too much from TRH...
So verdict on The Road Home... Did I like the book?? Yes... I sure did! 😊 Loved the plot! Lots of emotion at play. I’ve always like the pull/push factor (there were plenty), the animosity between the 2 leads, the change in family dynamics and I dropped a tear or two 😢 while reading TRH... I mean, if you are as sappy as I am, you probably would too...
Overall, a satisfying read.. A solid 4 ⭐️
Available in Scribd
So verdict on The Road Home... Did I like the book?? Yes... I sure did! 😊 Loved the plot! Lots of emotion at play. I’ve always like the pull/push factor (there were plenty), the animosity between the 2 leads, the change in family dynamics and I dropped a tear or two 😢 while reading TRH... I mean, if you are as sappy as I am, you probably would too...
Overall, a satisfying read.. A solid 4 ⭐️
Available in Scribd
May 12, 2020
Gwen arrives home after her her dreams have been dashed once again in Hollywood, just in time for her Dad's birthday. She hasn't been home since she left years ago. She's never met the girl, Lila, who moved into her parents home a few years after she left, in her mind replacing her as a daughter. She doesn't expect Lila to be so beautiful or for their attraction to be so intense. When she finds out her mother is sick and her short visit turns into a longer one, slowly she begins to form a new relationship with her mother, thanks in part to Lila, with whom she also finds herself building a deeper relationship.
I found it really hard to get into this one. There was a lot of introspection and not a lot of interaction. It was hard for me to really get into the characters and into the relationship between Gwen and Lila. I liked the volleyball side of all this most of out this book, I liked the community and the bonds it created between Gwen's mother and Gwen, Lila and Gwen, etc... I think Gwen's evolution was really nice and I really enjoyed the second half of the book a lot more where the focus was on rebuilding a family.
I received an ARC via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
I found it really hard to get into this one. There was a lot of introspection and not a lot of interaction. It was hard for me to really get into the characters and into the relationship between Gwen and Lila. I liked the volleyball side of all this most of out this book, I liked the community and the bonds it created between Gwen's mother and Gwen, Lila and Gwen, etc... I think Gwen's evolution was really nice and I really enjoyed the second half of the book a lot more where the focus was on rebuilding a family.
I received an ARC via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
January 9, 2024
Do I have another lesfic author to add to my favorites? I'm calling it. Erin Zak is now in the ranks because this started my year off well.
To start, the chemistry between these main characters, Gwendolyn and Lila is everything. It sucked me in immediately. Especially the meet-cute awkward moments. I could *not* wait until they met and I wasn't disappointed from then on. They have a very sexy connection with that enemies-to-lovers zest sprinkled in. Delicious. I believe we deserved one more super hot scene because whew! However, the theme shifts to some deep, sad content and I was very invested.
I'd been avoiding angsty books with sad themes recently, but this one became cathartic. It made me lie in bed, like "oh god, oh god" because the grief is palpable. I did many of those pauses, reading late at night. I'm going to assume Zak experienced something related because the details of the Carter family's dynamics revolving around seemed very nuanced and specific.
Great push and pull, great characters. They spend a lot of time together, which I adore. Erin Zak is quite funny and she's into themes of returning home/a smaller town from the city. I live in a city and I relate to those in a big way lately. Relatable and pushes me to adjust some of my own goals. I'm infinitely grateful this story didn't involve the hackneyed use of since we know many writers who'd force that storyline in. I feel spared.
There's also sports talk in there, which isn't bad. It wasn't enough to lose me.
Lila and Gwen, particularly Lila, were written with such strong personalities. The complexities were intriguing and I found myself agreeing with both of bouncing between whichever camp depending on the topic.
Incredible. Five stars!
To start, the chemistry between these main characters, Gwendolyn and Lila is everything. It sucked me in immediately. Especially the meet-cute awkward moments. I could *not* wait until they met and I wasn't disappointed from then on. They have a very sexy connection with that enemies-to-lovers zest sprinkled in. Delicious. I believe we deserved one more super hot scene because whew! However, the theme shifts to some deep, sad content and I was very invested.
I'd been avoiding angsty books with sad themes recently, but this one became cathartic. It made me lie in bed, like "oh god, oh god" because the grief is palpable. I did many of those pauses, reading late at night. I'm going to assume Zak experienced something related because the details of the Carter family's dynamics revolving around seemed very nuanced and specific.
Great push and pull, great characters. They spend a lot of time together, which I adore. Erin Zak is quite funny and she's into themes of returning home/a smaller town from the city. I live in a city and I relate to those in a big way lately. Relatable and pushes me to adjust some of my own goals. I'm infinitely grateful this story didn't involve the hackneyed use of since we know many writers who'd force that storyline in. I feel spared.
There's also sports talk in there, which isn't bad. It wasn't enough to lose me.
Lila and Gwen, particularly Lila, were written with such strong personalities. The complexities were intriguing and I found myself agreeing with both of bouncing between whichever camp depending on the topic.
Incredible. Five stars!
May 29, 2020
Wow! I’m absolutely blown away by Erin Zak’s newest novel, The Road Home. I feel as though I’m going to need an entire thesaurus to share my thoughts about this book with you.
This is a story about a family in crisis. It is a dysfunctional family that has been torn apart by bad feelings, hurtful words and actions and the inability to forgive. But now there may be a pressing need to try for forgiveness, if they can. This is not going to be easy for Gwen, the daughter who is returning after seventeen years away to help her sick mother. She also has to deal with Lila, the woman who seems to have taken Gwen’s place in the family. What Gwen finds even more disturbing, she and and Lila seem to have a connection, a spark that they can’t shake.
Family is obviously the main theme of this romance, but there are so many layers to this theme. There is loss, heartbreak, anger, and hard feelings. At the same time you will see understanding, forgiveness, growth, love, and romance. In other words, you will see a family living through all the ups and downs that life will throw their way.
The writing in this book is excellent. The characters are perfect, the story is heartbreaking and heart lifting at the same time. The romance is beautiful and the overall tale really is uplifting.
This novel has definitely been added to my favorites list. Any book that can make me cry, laugh, frown, and smile as much as this one did deserves to be there.
I will give this warning, when you sit down to read this novel, and you must read this novel, make sure you have a big box of tissues close by. You will need them.
I received an ARC from Netgalley and Bold Strokes Books for an honest review.
Rainbow Reflections: http://rainbowreflections.home.blog/
This is a story about a family in crisis. It is a dysfunctional family that has been torn apart by bad feelings, hurtful words and actions and the inability to forgive. But now there may be a pressing need to try for forgiveness, if they can. This is not going to be easy for Gwen, the daughter who is returning after seventeen years away to help her sick mother. She also has to deal with Lila, the woman who seems to have taken Gwen’s place in the family. What Gwen finds even more disturbing, she and and Lila seem to have a connection, a spark that they can’t shake.
Family is obviously the main theme of this romance, but there are so many layers to this theme. There is loss, heartbreak, anger, and hard feelings. At the same time you will see understanding, forgiveness, growth, love, and romance. In other words, you will see a family living through all the ups and downs that life will throw their way.
The writing in this book is excellent. The characters are perfect, the story is heartbreaking and heart lifting at the same time. The romance is beautiful and the overall tale really is uplifting.
This novel has definitely been added to my favorites list. Any book that can make me cry, laugh, frown, and smile as much as this one did deserves to be there.
I will give this warning, when you sit down to read this novel, and you must read this novel, make sure you have a big box of tissues close by. You will need them.
I received an ARC from Netgalley and Bold Strokes Books for an honest review.
Rainbow Reflections: http://rainbowreflections.home.blog/
June 5, 2020
This story was sometimes heartbreaking. Sometimes passionate. Always intense. Sadly there were too many disturbing things here: a seventeen-years separation, an unfaithful marriage, a terminal illness… I'm sorry, but I didn't enjoy the book. Just not my cup of tea.
May 14, 2020
Short summary. Gwen is returning back to her hometown after being absent for 17 years. She has major issues with her mother after she came out as a lesbian, and the only reason she's returning is to celebrate her doting father's 60th birthday. Not only does she have to face her mother for the first time after many years, but she also has to deal with Lila, the person who replaced her as the daughter of the family.
Did I cry? You can bet your ass I did. This is beautifully written and by far my favourite book by Erin Zak.
I was skeptical during the first half of the book, probably because I came in expecting less romance and more drama (which did come a bit later). There were many inner monologues of the hate between Lila and Gwen and yet describing how breathtaking the other person looks. Also how much they want each other during times I can only describe as, without giving anything away, really bad timing. But I am no love expert, don't think I've ever even been in love tbh, so I'm not sure how much that affects a person's mind during tough times.
However, that is basically my only issue. How the book paced itself after the first half was magnificent and beautifully done. The drama stepped up its game for sure. I felt like I was going through all the hardships together with the characters, the ups and downs, the tears, the love. There were communication issues, but to me it made sense for the situations they're in. An interesting bit of plot twist at the end too.
I needed a cry, and I got it. Many thanks to Lex and Jude's awesome reviews of this book. I still need to do a bit more crying though, recommendations anyone? I face reality a bit too well and I seek fiction as my only source of release.
4.25 stars.
Did I cry? You can bet your ass I did. This is beautifully written and by far my favourite book by Erin Zak.
I was skeptical during the first half of the book, probably because I came in expecting less romance and more drama (which did come a bit later). There were many inner monologues of the hate between Lila and Gwen and yet describing how breathtaking the other person looks. Also how much they want each other during times I can only describe as, without giving anything away, really bad timing. But I am no love expert, don't think I've ever even been in love tbh, so I'm not sure how much that affects a person's mind during tough times.
However, that is basically my only issue. How the book paced itself after the first half was magnificent and beautifully done. The drama stepped up its game for sure. I felt like I was going through all the hardships together with the characters, the ups and downs, the tears, the love. There were communication issues, but to me it made sense for the situations they're in. An interesting bit of plot twist at the end too.
I needed a cry, and I got it. Many thanks to Lex and Jude's awesome reviews of this book. I still need to do a bit more crying though, recommendations anyone? I face reality a bit too well and I seek fiction as my only source of release.
4.25 stars.
April 20, 2020
SO EMOTIONAL!!!!
Gwendolyn has spent far too many years in Hollywood trying to make it as a big name actress but she was passed over for a career making role. Now she is heading home after decades of being away for her dad’s birthday. She doesn’t want to go, especially since her parents basically replaced her with Lila years ago. Full of resentments and at a loss as to what her future holds, Lila and Gwendolyn must work together to care for her mom when she is diagnosed with cancer.
WOW, this is quite the rollercoaster of a book! It is SOOO GOOD but really heavy in parts. I admit tears full of pain and sorrow were in my eyes more than once… There were also happy tears too. I loved how Gwendolyn “found” herself on this journey. She and Lila are attracted to each other and deal with all the feelings they have for one another, both good and bad, while Gwendolyn’s world crashes down around her. There is so much that happens in this drama and I don’t want to give any of it away…There is a real surprise twist near the end that I NEVER would have seen coming and that left me wondering a bit but it did make for a more peaceful, healing ending. I really can’t recommend this book enough but be aware that Carol does have cancer and it is realistically portrayed.
Gwendolyn has spent far too many years in Hollywood trying to make it as a big name actress but she was passed over for a career making role. Now she is heading home after decades of being away for her dad’s birthday. She doesn’t want to go, especially since her parents basically replaced her with Lila years ago. Full of resentments and at a loss as to what her future holds, Lila and Gwendolyn must work together to care for her mom when she is diagnosed with cancer.
WOW, this is quite the rollercoaster of a book! It is SOOO GOOD but really heavy in parts. I admit tears full of pain and sorrow were in my eyes more than once… There were also happy tears too. I loved how Gwendolyn “found” herself on this journey. She and Lila are attracted to each other and deal with all the feelings they have for one another, both good and bad, while Gwendolyn’s world crashes down around her. There is so much that happens in this drama and I don’t want to give any of it away…There is a real surprise twist near the end that I NEVER would have seen coming and that left me wondering a bit but it did make for a more peaceful, healing ending. I really can’t recommend this book enough but be aware that Carol does have cancer and it is realistically portrayed.
May 20, 2020
I have read a few books by Zak and for the most part liked them. This one right here pulled at heart strings and made me team-up a few times. I think it's the connection of parent-child that gets to me and possibly the sad topic of loss, or in this case losing. Gwen is not likable at first but she really grows and becomes likable. Lila was nice and her character was definitely the likable one from the get go. The book has a very heavy undertone with looming death and while sad it does have a resolution. And a good one. I will say the book is written in present tense which takes some getting used to and at times the "she" was confusing. I almost wish it was written in first person with alternating P.O.V. Regardless, this is was good and emotional read. I really enjoyed the journey of regret, love, and forgiveness.
June 30, 2021
Despite Gwendolyn and Lila, the two main characters, and their romantic relationship are lovely, but I honestly think Carol, Gwendolyn's mom, and their mother/daughter relationship totally steals the spotlight.
This book is very personal to me, almost feels like a salvation
This book is very personal to me, almost feels like a salvation
March 4, 2020
Not today, Satan
May 22, 2020
How do you write a review for a book that has you completely spun? Here goes nothing!
This is a must-read for romance lovers, and I kid you not, you need to take the tissues with you on this emotional journey. I am a fan of Erin Zak’s work. In fact, I have never rated one below 4 stars because her writing just gets me. But this book is beyond anything she has ever written and has set the bar higher for her future novels because this is a phenomenal piece of work. One hundred per cent her best book to date.
I really identified with a lot of the story, and even in the moments I didn’t, Zak tells the story in a way that all readers can feel the heartache, the warmth, and the dismay. It’s a talent she has shown us in the past, but in ‘The Road Home’, she goes above and beyond, making the reader feel like they are living the story.
Let’s start with Gwendolyn. The long lost daughter who had every reason to bolt from her hometown when she was younger. She is a tough nut to crack but, behind all her anger and hurt, is a wonderful, caring person who, in the end, deserved better than she got.
Then there’s Lila. Sweet and a little sassy but the kindest and most caring women ever. She knows Gwendolyn doesn’t like her, but she tries so hard to mend fences because she never wanted to take Gwendolyn’s place; it was just what happened. She also deserved better than she got.
So this made me put all my eggs in the Lila and Gwendolyn’s love story and this is a romance book, right? So they will get together… right? But their romance is only half the story. The other part is Gwendolyn realising her parents aren’t, in fact, perfect; that her Mum did some crappy things, but there was so much more going on than Gwendolyn’s ever knew. In fact, this is not only a love story but of finding love again from the people who are meant to love you no matter what.
This epilogue is a little different, but it’s truly excellent. It tied everything together and let me feel all the love and excitement for Lila and Gwendolyn future together. #perfection
I can’t recommend this book enough and don’t think I’ll stop recommending it for a long time yet! Erin Zak has created something wonderful with this book, and I honestly can’t wait to see what she comes up with next!
This needs to be on every Lesbian Fiction readers ‘must read’ list. It’s exceptional!
Full review @
https://lesreveur.com/2020/05/12/the-...
This is a must-read for romance lovers, and I kid you not, you need to take the tissues with you on this emotional journey. I am a fan of Erin Zak’s work. In fact, I have never rated one below 4 stars because her writing just gets me. But this book is beyond anything she has ever written and has set the bar higher for her future novels because this is a phenomenal piece of work. One hundred per cent her best book to date.
I really identified with a lot of the story, and even in the moments I didn’t, Zak tells the story in a way that all readers can feel the heartache, the warmth, and the dismay. It’s a talent she has shown us in the past, but in ‘The Road Home’, she goes above and beyond, making the reader feel like they are living the story.
Let’s start with Gwendolyn. The long lost daughter who had every reason to bolt from her hometown when she was younger. She is a tough nut to crack but, behind all her anger and hurt, is a wonderful, caring person who, in the end, deserved better than she got.
Then there’s Lila. Sweet and a little sassy but the kindest and most caring women ever. She knows Gwendolyn doesn’t like her, but she tries so hard to mend fences because she never wanted to take Gwendolyn’s place; it was just what happened. She also deserved better than she got.
So this made me put all my eggs in the Lila and Gwendolyn’s love story and this is a romance book, right? So they will get together… right? But their romance is only half the story. The other part is Gwendolyn realising her parents aren’t, in fact, perfect; that her Mum did some crappy things, but there was so much more going on than Gwendolyn’s ever knew. In fact, this is not only a love story but of finding love again from the people who are meant to love you no matter what.
This epilogue is a little different, but it’s truly excellent. It tied everything together and let me feel all the love and excitement for Lila and Gwendolyn future together. #perfection
I can’t recommend this book enough and don’t think I’ll stop recommending it for a long time yet! Erin Zak has created something wonderful with this book, and I honestly can’t wait to see what she comes up with next!
This needs to be on every Lesbian Fiction readers ‘must read’ list. It’s exceptional!
Full review @
https://lesreveur.com/2020/05/12/the-...
April 18, 2021
So many subjects, and so many tears. Young Erin certainly knows how to squeeze all emotion from a tale, it's left me exhausted and sated. An excellent book, thank you.
May 6, 2020
Definitively very moving story. As much as heart breaking it is to find out that you were “replaced” by someone else to finding out that the someone is actually meant to be with you and all the heart ache you went through is to be mend by taking care of your mother who is the reason of you feeling that way? Incredible, family drama, that shows love survives all. I have no idea what Gwen went through, but I am glad she was able to fix things with mom before she was gone. In mean time she changed directions in her life. Found so many hidden family secrets yet made her life exactly what it was supposed to be.
This is fantastic story, and crying is truly part of it.
This is fantastic story, and crying is truly part of it.
May 19, 2020
I'm speechless..this book really ripped my heart into the pieces. Even the ending is lovely, I still feel forlorn. I might need a humor book to cheer me up.
April 26, 2022
I was so sure I wouldn't cry at this. Putting on my clown shoes as I type.
January 1, 2021
I have strong feelings about this story, but I will preface with, This story is amazing. Zak clearly poured her heart and soul into every word and it shows. This story is gut wrenching and packed with emotional turmoil. Raw is a good way to describe this book and how it will make you feel. For several reasons I had trouble connecting to this story but that never prevented my appreciation and I am sure most readers will completely fall in love with this devastatingly beautiful story.
This is a story of family drama, grief, regret, jealousy, and complex emotional trauma.
The only character I was able to connect with was Gwendolyn. She left home for her own emotional health and never looked back. The only real mistakes Gwen makes in my opinion is taking out her Jealousy and hurt on Lila in the beginning of the story. Otherwise I felt Gwen got the short end of the stick in everyway. She is often painted as selfish, a failure, and heartless by everyone around her which irritated me to no end. I felt that Gwendolyn’s feelings and actions were justified most of the book even if I am the only one who feels that way.
I Love family and am glad that Gwendolyn decided to fight to try to repair hers but I don’t believe that a person should be forced to interact with harmful family members just because they are family. It should always be a choice not an obligation just because they are all you have left.
Lila was too hypocritical for my taste and while I liked her character most of the time, there was just too much disconnect in the way she treated Gwen a good portion of the time that couldn’t get past.
Carol is a complicated character and I have many feelings about her but I will just say she did things the way she thought was best. Most of her choices frustrated me in the ways they hurt Gwen but she is only human. The characters are remarkably flawed as are we all, and the beauty in the flaws is prevalent throughout the story.
There are so many emotional conflicts throughout this story and it really put me through the ringer. Between messy families, illness, confronting years of hurt, complicated relationships, and romantic entanglements there is a lot to unpack here, and Zak does a fantastic job of it.
The romance was good and added many layers to the story that I enjoyed. I had a little trouble fully embracing it due to my issues with Lila but I enjoyed how things unfolded and the attraction between these two was unmistakable and wonderful.
There were a few times when the author of characters sent mixed messages that frustrated me. Just little things usually to do with Gwendolyn, but were difficult for me to brush off.
I can see objectively that this story is fantastic and that it is only because of my perception that I couldn’t fully fall in love with it. This story is incredibly beautiful and fulfilling with a sweet ending.
This is a story of family drama, grief, regret, jealousy, and complex emotional trauma.
The only character I was able to connect with was Gwendolyn. She left home for her own emotional health and never looked back. The only real mistakes Gwen makes in my opinion is taking out her Jealousy and hurt on Lila in the beginning of the story. Otherwise I felt Gwen got the short end of the stick in everyway. She is often painted as selfish, a failure, and heartless by everyone around her which irritated me to no end. I felt that Gwendolyn’s feelings and actions were justified most of the book even if I am the only one who feels that way.
I Love family and am glad that Gwendolyn decided to fight to try to repair hers but I don’t believe that a person should be forced to interact with harmful family members just because they are family. It should always be a choice not an obligation just because they are all you have left.
Lila was too hypocritical for my taste and while I liked her character most of the time, there was just too much disconnect in the way she treated Gwen a good portion of the time that couldn’t get past.
Carol is a complicated character and I have many feelings about her but I will just say she did things the way she thought was best. Most of her choices frustrated me in the ways they hurt Gwen but she is only human. The characters are remarkably flawed as are we all, and the beauty in the flaws is prevalent throughout the story.
There are so many emotional conflicts throughout this story and it really put me through the ringer. Between messy families, illness, confronting years of hurt, complicated relationships, and romantic entanglements there is a lot to unpack here, and Zak does a fantastic job of it.
The romance was good and added many layers to the story that I enjoyed. I had a little trouble fully embracing it due to my issues with Lila but I enjoyed how things unfolded and the attraction between these two was unmistakable and wonderful.
There were a few times when the author of characters sent mixed messages that frustrated me. Just little things usually to do with Gwendolyn, but were difficult for me to brush off.
I can see objectively that this story is fantastic and that it is only because of my perception that I couldn’t fully fall in love with it. This story is incredibly beautiful and fulfilling with a sweet ending.
January 12, 2022
All the feels. All of them. When this book came out I wanted to read it sooooo much, but some of the reviews made it clear it had heavy topics and 2020 was difficult without adding suffering to my “let’s not think about real life stuff” hobby, so I postponed it and then I forgot all about it, until I decided to clean my to read list and see what was there and what shouldn’t be there and this book appeared. I have to be honest, I read the blurb, saw the author name and was so exited I didn’t bother to read any reviews, if I had I don’t think I would have read it.
I cried, about a lot of parts, in different amounts and for different reasons. This was complex but organic and fluid and simple, I know it doesn’t make sense, but I don’t know how else to describe it. All the relationships and the depth made it rich and enjoyable even with the hard topics and all the truths and twists.
Gwen and her relationship with her parents broke me. All those feelings, that anger, the doubt, the resentment, the love, the regrets, all of it. I’m crying again just writing this, because I related more to her that I would like (not the illness, thankfully) and I wasn’t ready to confront some things I have been shelving in a “do not open, fragile” box in my mind, and this made living in denial kinda difficult, so maybe I’m a little bit like Lila too.
I didn’t enjoy some parts, that’s just normal, but about 98% of the book made this cry fest and staying up late on a week night worth it.
I cried, about a lot of parts, in different amounts and for different reasons. This was complex but organic and fluid and simple, I know it doesn’t make sense, but I don’t know how else to describe it. All the relationships and the depth made it rich and enjoyable even with the hard topics and all the truths and twists.
Gwen and her relationship with her parents broke me. All those feelings, that anger, the doubt, the resentment, the love, the regrets, all of it. I’m crying again just writing this, because I related more to her that I would like (not the illness, thankfully) and I wasn’t ready to confront some things I have been shelving in a “do not open, fragile” box in my mind, and this made living in denial kinda difficult, so maybe I’m a little bit like Lila too.
I didn’t enjoy some parts, that’s just normal, but about 98% of the book made this cry fest and staying up late on a week night worth it.
January 15, 2022
Note: significant content warnings below, see the bottom of the review.
Gwen Carter left her family nearly two decades ago after her mother badly handled Gwen's coming out. With her acting career stalled, she returns to her hometown at her father's request, expecting some difficult confrontations: with her mother and with the woman who seemingly took up her role in the family, Lila Machowicz. Lila has been the surrogate daughter of the Carter family since her parents moved to Europe many years ago. Gwen and Lila have reasons to resent each other's presence, but they don't expect the attraction between them.
This is a fairly deep examination of family relationships, including illustration of the lasting harm of emotional trauma when it comes at the hands of family. It's also a look at the concept of forgiveness and how it can be established, sometimes putting aside hurts, but also not so simplistic that forgiveness automatically makes the damage go away.
The Gwen/Lila relationship is an interesting one, but it's not the primary focus of the book, with the relationships they both have with Gwen's mother taking center stage. Overall, a good book that never takes the simple way out, but also a book that's going to put you through an emotional wringer.
Content warnings: parental homophobia, cancer, both of which are major plot elements. Also adultery, but not everything there is as it seems.
Gwen Carter left her family nearly two decades ago after her mother badly handled Gwen's coming out. With her acting career stalled, she returns to her hometown at her father's request, expecting some difficult confrontations: with her mother and with the woman who seemingly took up her role in the family, Lila Machowicz. Lila has been the surrogate daughter of the Carter family since her parents moved to Europe many years ago. Gwen and Lila have reasons to resent each other's presence, but they don't expect the attraction between them.
This is a fairly deep examination of family relationships, including illustration of the lasting harm of emotional trauma when it comes at the hands of family. It's also a look at the concept of forgiveness and how it can be established, sometimes putting aside hurts, but also not so simplistic that forgiveness automatically makes the damage go away.
The Gwen/Lila relationship is an interesting one, but it's not the primary focus of the book, with the relationships they both have with Gwen's mother taking center stage. Overall, a good book that never takes the simple way out, but also a book that's going to put you through an emotional wringer.
Content warnings: parental homophobia, cancer, both of which are major plot elements. Also adultery, but not everything there is as it seems.
April 4, 2022
2 stars
The writing is good.
A lot of the characters (especially Gwen's parents and to lesser extent Lila) are in my opinion self-centred jerks who expect (and get) forgiveness without a proper apology or explanation, sometimes for really messed up behaviour.
For a more detailed dissection of what I didn't like, I'd recommend the review left by Lexa. It sums up my problems with the characters pretty well.
And it's really hard to read a book where you more or less hate everyone.
So I finished it but won't ever return to it.
The writing is good.
A lot of the characters (especially Gwen's parents and to lesser extent Lila) are in my opinion self-centred jerks who expect (and get) forgiveness without a proper apology or explanation, sometimes for really messed up behaviour.
For a more detailed dissection of what I didn't like, I'd recommend the review left by Lexa. It sums up my problems with the characters pretty well.
And it's really hard to read a book where you more or less hate everyone.
So I finished it but won't ever return to it.
November 19, 2020
This. Damn. Book. Truly, it broke me. It’s so good and everything about the way it’s written works for me.
The other real standout, apart from the characters, is the way Zak shows that grief doesn’t only happen after someone dies, starting well before they’re gone because you know you’re going to lose them.
Full review: https://www.thelesbianreview.com/the-...
The other real standout, apart from the characters, is the way Zak shows that grief doesn’t only happen after someone dies, starting well before they’re gone because you know you’re going to lose them.
Full review: https://www.thelesbianreview.com/the-...
May 16, 2020
Surprisingly well written with humour and angst. I was not aware of this author before this book, will be collecting her works from this day onwards.
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