Vagina Problems: Endometriosis, Painful Sex, and Other Taboo Topics

by Lara Parker

"With unflinching honesty, Lara Parker, the Deputy Director for BuzzFeed, shares her day-to-day challenges of living, working, and loving with chronic pain caused by endometriosis in this raw, darkly humorous, and hopeful memoir.

I wasn’t ready to be completely honest about my vagina yet, and the world wasn’t ready for that either. But I was getting there. I wanted the world to know that all of this pain I had been feeling…that it was related to my vagina. Thus, Vagina Problems was born. It was a cutesy name. It was my way of taking this pain and saying, “Whatever. I’m here. I have it. It sucks. Let’s talk about it.”

In April 2014, Deputy Editorial Director at BuzzFeed Lara Parker opened up to the world in an article on the she suffers from endometriosis. And beyond that? She let the whole world know that she wasn’t having any sex, as sex was excruciatingly painful. Less than a year before, she received not only the diagnosis of endometriosis, but also a diagnosis of pelvic floor dysfunction, vulvodynia, vaginismus, and vulvar vestibulitis. Combined, these debilitating conditions have wreaked havoc on her life, causing excruciating pain throughout her body since she was fourteen years old. These are her Vagina Problems.

It was five years before Lara learned what was happening to her body. Five years of doctors insisting she just had “bad period cramps,” or implying her pain was psychological. Shamed and stigmatized, Lara fought back against a medical community biased against women and discovered that the ignorance of many doctors about women’s anatomy was damaging more than just her own life. One in ten women have endometriosis and it takes an average of seven years before they receive an accurate diagnosis—or any relief from this incurable illness’ chronic pain.

With candid revelations about her vaginal physical therapy, dating as a straight woman without penetrative sex, coping with painful seizures while at the office, diet and wardrobe malfunctions when your vagina hurts all the time, and the depression and anxiety of feeling unloved, Lara tackles it all in Vagina Endometriosis, Painful Sex, and Other Taboo Topics with courage, wit, love, and a determination to live her best life."

Genres: Nonfiction, Feminism, Memoir, Health, Medical, Medicine, Science

226 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 6, 2020

About the author

Lara Parker is a writer who lives in Los Angeles but comes from a small town of just 900 people in Indiana. She began writing in college around the time of her diagnosis with endometriosis and hasn’t stopped writing about her vagina since. She’s currently deputy editorial director for BuzzFeed.com, where her essays about endometriosis and her other health conditions have garnered millions of views. Her debut collection of essays, Vagina Problems, debuts on October 6, 2020!

Reviews

[Nikki · Rating 1 out of 5]

A missed opportunity.

As someone with “vagina problems”, I looked forward to hearing another woman’s story on coming to understand and treat endometriosis and similar pelvic pain disorders. At many points in the story, I found myself yelling, “YEP! Exactly!”

With that said, I feel like there was a lot of extraneous material (likely to hit the publisher’s page minimum), so I found myself skipping ahead. I believe this book would have benefited from being a collection of short stories from many women in order to highlight the variations in treatment and symptoms. Instead, we hear the author’s sophomoric tirades about sex in the media and other stuff I don’t care about.

I’ll echo what another reviewer said: this book is more like a long complaint about having pelvic pain. In many chapters she discusses how “unfair” it is to have pelvic pain and how she felt like “her life is over” because she has painful intercourse. Very self-pitying. As much as I wanted to empathize, I found myself rolling my eyes instead.

[Susan's Reviews · Rating 4 out of 5]

My thanks to the author, publisher and NetGalley for a free ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Lara Parker is bravely tackling an issue that even today gets discussed in hushed tones, in case someone overhears you: vagina problems.

The author points out that a large percentage of the female population suffers debilitating pain as a result of being born with a vagina. Dysmenorrhea, cystitis, recurring UTI's, vaginosis, endometriosis, dyspareunia.... the list goes on and on. I felt very badly for this young woman, whose entire life, once she starting menstruating, was one unending wave of pain. The title of this book caught my eye, because I also suffered from painful dysmenorrhea for most of my life, with little or no help from the medical profession. Going on the pill helped, as did extra strength Advil - and learning to take it a few days before my cycle was due to start, etc., but I can agree with the author that this type of pain was not taken very seriously forty plus decades ago.

I think I would have given this book a five instead of a 3.8 star rating if there had been more focus on the cures and help available for women suffering through these issues. Have you ever been stuck in a conversation with a person who tells you every excruciating detail of a recent serious illness or surgery? In the beginning, you are very sympathetic, but after a while, you realize that you've had your fill of listening to all her terribly sad monologue about her pain and suffering. For me, I'd reached my limit when the author described at great length an episode where she was writhing in pain on the workplace unisex bathroom floor, rolling around in all those pee and poop spores. This phrase was repeated one too many times for my liking.

Hey: Hats off to Lara Parker for seeking enlightenment and answers to her questions about her many medical issues. I agree with the author that too many women have been left to suffer for so long and in silence. More funds need to be invested in research to find cures or medical treatments for all of these issues affecting women's health.

Be prepared to become enraged by the unequal allocation of resources when it comes to women's health. I recommend this book for women who have suffered, or want to know more about, vagina problems. I rate this a 3.8 stars out of 5.

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

As someone with endometriosis, I really enjoyed Vagina Problems. Parker is very open about her experiences. Reading this book made me not feel so alone when Parker described some problems I deal with daily. This memoir is very personal with some basic medical information.

[Adriana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. Am I ever thankful that I don't have vagina problems. I very much rather live with my few kill-me-now migraines a month, than the constant pain and torture that Parker lives with.
I can't express how impressed I am with Lara Parker and her willingness to put everything out there in the hopes of getting people to talk about topics that are still considered taboo by many. I can't believe how dismissive medical professionals were of her pain, but I can also totally believe that because I've also been dismissed as a hysterical woman when I was in very real pain.
I really hope that Parker's honest memoir is something that helps people open up about what is often dismissed as "female problems" and not given the attention it deserves. Yes, they're not exactly easy topics talk about, but they're also things that affect half the world's population. Let's open up and talk through the uncomfortable to get to the understanding that we need.

Many thanks to NetGalley and St. Martin's Griffin for the chance to read it early.

[Debra · Rating 2 out of 5]

There was so much that this book COULD have done to highlight the many issues that women face, especially when it comes to vagina problems. I was looking forward to this book as an informative non-fiction read that uses statistics and specific diagnoses that women receive. 

Rather than being informative though, this book read as a long complaint of chronic pain. I almost feel that a two-star rating is generous, but Lara Parker has obviously helped many people (women especially) by talking about the issues that she has faced with the multiple diagnoses she has received for the pain that she feels. 

If you are looking for one personal example of a woman who has suffered because of her vagina, I recommend this book. This book may help you recognize that you are not on your own. Note that her stories are repetitive- she retells the same stories in each of the chapters and this book would have been better at half the length.

Thank you Netgalley and St. Martin's Press for an ARC copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Mina · Rating 3 out of 5]

I finished this book and counted my blessings because I take a lot of things for granted. Damn

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

WOW. Just WOW! This easily just went straight to the top of my favorite memoirs about living with a disability. In the author's case she suffers from chronic pain related to various reproductive conditions including endometriosis, vulvodynia and vaginismus.

I hadn't even HEARD of some of these conditions and to learn that over 200 million people worldwide (approx. 10% of the population) are affected by them was mind-blowing. What's worse is how little is understood about reproductive conditions and just how long people can go before getting diagnosed (on average 7 years)!

This was by far one (if not THE) best book about living with chronic pain I've ever read. Listening to the author describe her daily and often constant pain that has no relief and can strike any time and any where was horrifying and while I have a chronic illness, it is no where near as debilitating as what the author goes through daily with little to no relief.

The book covers a number of important topics from difficulties to get diagnosed, the disrespect and dismissal many doctors give to people who complain of reproductive problems, trying to work with chronic pain and trying to find love and be in a relationship when penetrative sex can be excruciating, (if not impossible).

Highly enlightening, and in my opinion a MUST READ! Great on audio read by the author. There were so many passages I highlighted and related to, particularly the way that chronic conditions can take a toll on people's mental health and relationships!

Favorites quotes included:

"It is exhausting in every sense of the word to try to find a way to make peace with the knowledge that your own body will rebel against you over and over again and there is essentially nothing you can do about it."

"Living with chronic pain is not just being in pain, it's being forced to alter your life in a million different ways that other people don't have to. All while trying to find the mental capacity to be okay with this."

"As a person with chronic illness I constantly feel like a burden and therefore am often too ashamed to truly ask for what I need out of my friendships. It somehow feels easier to be angry or upset at friends than to humble myself to ask for help."

[Linda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Repetitive and not really all that informative🤔

I had hoped to learn something from Lara Parker's book that could help me understand how to handle some of the pain issues I've been facing for a few years. I did not find any answers here, and I found the narrative overly repetitive, depressing, and pretty well summed up in a few lines.

-Yes, she has pain that took a long time to diagnose and will not go away.
-No, she is not less worthy of love because of her pain.
-No, others who don't experience it will probably never understand how the pain dominates your life.
-No, she is not alone in her symptoms.
-Yes, the medical profession should do more to recognize and find mitigation therapies or cures for medical conditions that only affect women.
- Yes, living with vaginal problems presents tough challenges in forming and sustaining a relationship, but relationships are not just tough because of your pain.

The book is also heavily focused on the way the pain affects a woman's sex life. A book recognizing the issue is a good thing BUT I feel this one was a bit of a circular rant heavily critical of "all the doctors she'd known before." Knowing vaginal problems are common is important; I just wish there had been more light at the end of the tunnel.

Thanks to publisher St. Martin's Griffin and NetGalley for providing an advance copy of the book; this is my voluntary and honest review.

[Jen · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was really looking forward to this, but it was incredibly repetitive and very 'woe is me.' Also strangely lacking in informative and statistical details?

[Jessica Haider · Rating 4 out of 5]

Buzzfeed editor Lara Parker shares her personal experiences with endometriosis in this raw and honest memoir. Lara spent years dealing with undiagnosed pain and other symptoms. Many doctors implied that it was all in her head. Finally, she received a diagnosis of endometriosis.

She talks about her own experiences and also relates them to women's experience in healthcare. Many times women express concerns or symptoms to healthcare providers they aren't taken seriously or told it is because of anxiety or depression. Also, women aren't given a faire share of medical research due to the pesky effects of female hormones. Lara also talks a lot about the difficulty of living with any chronic illness and how it takes a physical and mental toll on someone's life.

This book reminded me of Ask Me About My Uterus: A Quest to Make Doctors Believe in Women's Pain, which is another memoir about living with endometriosis. Both books really help shine a light on the imbalance in healthcare for women and men. I recommend to anyone who is into feminist reads or looking for a memoir about chronic illness.


Thank you to the publisher for the review copy!

[Audrey · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

I was expecting the book to be more medical information than memoir, but that’s fine. The author has endometriosis and several other vaginal disorders, which tend to go undiscussed and, worse, undiagnosed. She honestly describes living with this chronic condition, and many times I was internally shouting, “That’s just like me and my chronic illness! Only the location of the pain is different.”

She describes the frustration of doctors not believing her pain is real, which has plagued women especially for centuries and should not still be happening. She describes trying to have a life when your body demands your full attention, and so much of it described my experience. I have only succeeded in not getting angry that often at my illness.

Anybody should find this book interesting. If you have a chronic illness, you will see how not alone you are. If you don’t have a chronic illness, it is good at showing how to treat people with one. I only wished for more medical information, so I will have to find another book for that.

In honor of her memoir, I am adding my own advice for dealing with a chronic illness:
• Your pain is not in competition with anyone else’s or even yourself from a past pain episode. If it hurts, you’re allowed to hate it.
• It is not your fault even if you disregarded a trigger. You do not deserve this.
• You are not the only one with this condition. There are others who know exactly what you’re feeling.

Things NOT to say to someone with chronic pain:
• Have you tried Advil? (or any other drug, therapy, homeopathy, etc.)
• You should/shouldn’t have done xxxx. That’s why you have pain.
• My friend has that condition and doesn’t feel that bad, so you must be imagining it.

How to help someone in pain:
• Walk the dog, do the dishes, bring in the mail, etc.
• Ask if you can bring them any food, medicine, or help them get in bed—help them get as comfortable as possible.
• Don’t act worried or concerned. The person will feel bad and then try to comfort you and/or hide their symptoms, which only make the condition harder to bear.

To assist migraine patients:
Create blackout conditions; block out all light and noise.
Bring ice chips and peppermint oil over.
Do not touch the body anywhere except the head.
Keep the path to the bathroom clear.

Language: Steady amount of strong language
Sexual Content: Described in clinical terms
Violence/Gore: Some descriptions of surgery and illness may make some readers queasy.
Harm to Animals: None
Harm to Children: None
Other (Triggers): Real-life sexism, ableism; chronic illness

[Sarah Williamson · Rating 3 out of 5]

AVAILABLE NOW!!!

I have followed Lara Parker on Buzzfeed for awhile now. She was one of the only voices I was readily able to access when I received my very own Endometriosis diagnosis. I have so much respect for the way she showed up and offered her own life experience with vagina problems. I know I am not alone when I say that reading her articles made me feel less isolated in a time when isolation and I were very familiar with each other. At the time of my diagnosis, there were no other voices in the community openly discussing what I was experiencing and I will always be grateful to her for showing up in such a vulnerable way, to discuss something so personal.

I say all of that to convey how important it is for books like this one to be out in the world. When I turned to books from other people's perspective on living with endometriosis shortly after my diagnoses, I found none. Instead, I found a lot of medical journals that I read and understood about 20% of the text. The lack of material out there on something that 1 in 10 women suffer from is astounding to me. This fact alone makes Parker's book an important, timely read.

Vagina Problems covers so much of what it is like to experience pelvic pain without answers. Lara talks about living with chronic pain and the challenges of feeling like you are taking up space in a way people are uncomfortable acknowledging. The chapter discussing the complete lack of help doctors have to offer people suffering from chronic pain was so eerily accurate it was difficult for me to get through. All of these topics are so important, and I feel Parker gave voice to a myriad of issues too many are familiar with.

The struggle that I had with getting through this book was the redundancy in writing and in pain explanations. Every page felt familiar because parker had said it in a slightly different way several times before. A lot of phrasing was repetitive and she would give vague details of a life experience in one chapter only to go into the same story several chapters later in greater depth. This book felt spread a little thin. I wondered several times If maybe she didn't have enough content for a full book and tried to stretch it a little farther than it could go physically. There is a lot of fluff here and I almost feel like Vagina Problems could have benefitted from one more round of editing, or maybe even rearranging chapters for a better flow. Do not get me wrong, I think Parker is an excellent writer, I just feel this particular book could use a little extra finessing.

The very fact that a book like this is going to be out for public consumption gives me hope that people can reach a greater understanding of what it is like for chronic pain sufferers. I hope that books like Vagina problems will eventually push the medical field to advocate for their patients. In my own experience, and in the experience of Lara Parker, patients have to beg and plead to be believed and treated with the kind of care and respect that they deserve in order to receive a formal diagnosis. This HAS to change and in my opinion, publishing a book like this is a step in the right direction.

Reviewer's note: A copy of this book was given to me in exchange for an honest review.


You can find the book Vagina Problems: Endometriosis, Painful Sex, and Other Taboo Topics on a bookshelf near you on October 6th 2020!!!!


⭐️⭐️⭐️/ 5 stars

[Sandra]

I can't imagine the perseverance and courage it takes to be able to live every single day with the pain that the author experiences, and then to write an entire book about it, sharing that pain and vulnerability with the world.

When reading this, it's important to note that she's talking about purely her own experiences with the Vagina Problems she has, and there is not that much statistics or information included on endometriosis in general.

All that being said, this book felt a bit repetitive at times, as she discusses the same things and uses the same phrases over and over (which I understand is reflective of her own experiences having to deal with the same issues and same pain over and over). Sometimes she would tell a story, then come back to it chapters later.

[Melisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Living with a chronic illness is very isolating. Speaking to people who have not experienced chronic pain can feel lonely - we do not share the same language or view of the world. How could we, if the last time I spent a day with no pain was a lifetime ago?

Lara, thank you for talking to me and for sharing the same language. Someone had put into words the experiences I could not explain, told me why certain things trigger me so much. I finally felt comforted. Less lonely. It also inspired me to protect myself and begin the journey of accepting it.

At last hearing (well, reading) someone's authentic and candid experience, all of it - the good, the bad, the ugly - I felt less ashamed of my own feelings and thoughts. I felt empowered - to say I am depressed, angry and offended. Corageous enough to say that I am scared and not confident about my future. However, I am not alone in these feelings and this is something I have not been able to say in years.

My opinion about this book is vast. The comments above are a collection of thoughts I had during reading. I will leave it at that.

[Elisabeth Bialosky · Rating 4 out of 5]

Upfront, this is not the best book ever written. It definitely does read as more of a blog writer and the language isn't particularly beautiful or cautious. However, the lack of pretentious qualities of this book was necessary. I love how honest Lara is about her vagina problems and how relatable of a narrator she is, even as she gets repetitive. For those of us who do have related illnesses and conditions, it felt like all her thoughts were validating some of my lifelong anxieties and I admired that her book was not only accessible, but actively spoke about the lack of accessibility within medical fields of understanding her conditions. I honestly would recommend this book for anybody to read just simply to understand the toll chronic pain and vaginal issues takes on people.

[Dana Light (dlight_reads) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Vagina Problem’s is an incredibly raw, refreshing and insightful book on one woman’s fight with endometriosis. Although this book isn’t a “how to”, I definitely learnt a few tips and tricks on combatting endo pain, that I will be trying. 💪🏼

Lara not only remains completely transparent, but she also brings a radiant sense of humor to this novel, making these difficult subjects so easy to read. As she delves into her journey with endometriosis I found myself nodding along and appreciating Lara’s strength to share her story.

Reading this novel I was reminded that I am not crazy, I am not alone and that it is absolutely okay to have bad days. I spent this weekend bloated, in complete agony, curled up in a ball with my heat-pack reading this book, and although it didn’t take away any pain, it felt like a warm hug, telling me I am strong and I will survive this.

There are moments were this book can be slightly repetitive, but Id like to compare that to the emotionally draining repetition of battling with healthcare professionals to be taken seriously.
It takes a person an average of seven years to be diagnosed with endometriosis, and the only way to be diagnosed is through an operation…

This book is incredibly raw, honest, insightful and relatable. I highly recommend this to friends and family members of people with a chronic illness, who are wanting to learn and understand more about their condition. And to anyone like me, who was recently diagnosed and just needs a little reminder that they’re not alone.

“And in many ways, people who live with chronic pain are grieving. We are grieving for the lives we could’ve had, but don’t, because of pain.”

[Esther · Rating 5 out of 5]

Medical particulars aside, of all the stuff I've read on the subject, this is the piece that says it all, everything I want people to know. The insanity of trying to resolve pelvic pain, the paranoia about eating and acting perfectly to prevent flares, the private torture, the grief over a lost life, the social obsolescence, all of it is here. This book was both incredibly difficult to read and incredibly cathartic. I've never felt driven to finish a book while also having to break over and over to weather it.

I feel so validated in my experience after reading this, especially in the endless battle with my behavior. I knew very well that what my pain wants me to do to keep it at a low level requires a superhuman amount of self-discipline. But when I see someone else go through the exact same struggle, I grok how stupid-hard it is. And the whole concept that people without chronic illness don't have to walk that tightrope? That if they fail to stick to a diet, they don't risk marooning themselves due to pain that literally immobilizes them??? That they get to pursue all their everyday and lifelong desires and ambitions without fighting constantly for a fundamental balance???? I don't know why I never think of it that way, but now that I have some perspective, the fact that I do as well as I do while also working and accomplishing other things seems impossible. Yet I do it. Maybe this is where self-trust begins???

Lara says she's come to grips with not behaving perfectly to avoid flares. I'm not there yet. Flares are scary, and I still heap guilt on myself every time I do something that exacerbates my pain. I'm hoping her take helps me find compassion for myself. Though honestly, the fear is a huge motivator. You really do panic just thinking about it, just like she describes.

This book is mostly tell rather than show and it can be repetitive, so I have no idea if people without chronic pain will connect with it. But it's not for others. It's for us.

[Sarah A-F]

2 stars

After reading some other reviews, I've decided to DNF this at 18% (~40 pages). After the introduction and two chapters, I feel like I've already read everything Parker is going to say. This is an incredibly repetitive book, with some of the exact same phrases being repeated word-for-word over and over again. As someone with "vagina problems" I did find some of this very relatable and I fully agree that it's a vital topic to talk about -- but Parker's writing is clearly better suited to blog posts than a full-length book. And I'm sure her blog posts are very worthwhile and will bring a lot of awareness to the disorders she suffers from! But I can't say this is a book I recommend reading. I'd actually point to Ask Me About My Uterus for a better read about vagina problems (specifically endometriosis). I'm really disappointed that Vagina Problems didn't work out for me and I want to acknowledge that Lara Parker is doing important work -- this book just didn't quite hit the mark.

[Angela · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars. "Living with chronic pain is not just being in pain. It's being forced to alter your life in a million different ways that other people don't have to, all while trying to find the mental capacity to be okay with this."
If you or someone you know suffers, please read this book. And I really wish all doctors were forced to read this to indeed realize that women's pain is real and not in their head.

[Anthony Pignataro · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book about pain—chronic, life-altering pain that affects 10 percent of all women. To be clear, this is not a medical study of endometriosis (or the myriad other diseases that affect women along with it), but is rather one woman’s experiences living with it. It’s both heart-breaking and inspiring. While I read this book because I wanted to know more about how endometriosis was affecting a friend of mine (chances are, if you don’t suffer from it, you know at least one person who does), I found the book also valuable in identifying ableist impulses and prejudices within myself. As author Lara Parker points out, we live in a society that places an extremely high value on healthy productivity, which only makes everything worse for those forced to live with chronic pain they do not deserve.

[Eileen · Rating 1 out of 5]

I think this will likely be many people’s first book on this topic and I know it will mean a lot to many. That said, I didn’t find the book particularly informative or engaging. I think Parker was trying to be accessible, but often just slips into oversimplification and repetition. Even the title, “Vagina Problems,” is both reductive and exclusive. There are many other books that I would recommend before this one if you’re looking to read about endometriosis, vulvodynia, vaginismus, and chronic pelvic pain.

[Tori · Rating 3 out of 5]

For some reason I thought this would be less of a memoire and more of a scientific book on Vagina Problems. Parker spends most of the book really driving home that these problems are real, they're painful, and that no one listens to those who suffer from them simply because that person happens to have a vagina.

It's painful to read (though nowhere near as painful as the pain Parker describes constantly). She is begging the medical profession to listen to those suffering with Vagina Problems, and we can't help despairing that despite that, they won't.

[senseijutsu · Rating 5 out of 5]

Las personas que critican este libro parecería que claramente no saben lo que es padecer endometriosis. Dicen que es puro texto de quejas y sufrimiento: bienvenidos a la realidad de lo que es sobrevivir a una enfermedad incurable todos los días de tu vida.

Personalmente, yo viviendo esta enfermedad, creo que este es el tipo de libros que necesitamos para visibilizar esta enfermedad, tan dejada de lado por los médicos. 5 años tarda una mujer en ser diagnosticada de endometriosis en promedio; mientras tanto te van a decir que es mental y que exageras. La realidad es que no. La realidad es que la endometriosis es una enfermedad que te desgasta la vida de por sí, y todavía más teniendo que luchar con la comunidad medica desinformada. Hasta por tu propio diagnostico hay que luchar.

Este libro creo que resultará de gran sanación y comprensión para todas las chicas que padecemos esto. Pensamos que estamos solas, tal vez no tanto. Es doloroso leer tan claras experiencias de otra persona que vivió lo mismo que yo, pero también es sanador y transformador. Agradezco a la autora por haber decidido abrirse de una manera tan privada y vulnerable para escribir este libro. Es un llamado para que empecemos a hablar de esta enfermedad y no quedarnos calladas.

Para quien piense que son demasiadas quejas y victimismo: es simplemente la realidad de lo que es convivir con una enfermedad como lo es la endometriosis y las demás mencionadas en este libro. Solo quienes la sufrimos entenderemos al 100% esta narración.

[Sofie · Rating 4 out of 5]

While I started this book months ago I never got around to finishing it until now (I think I just wasn't in the right mood to finish it earlier). In either case, I'm glad I did! As someone with vulvodynia and intense period pain, I felt validated to read this. I know what it's like for doctors not to take period pain seriously and it honestly sucks. It's frustrating and traumatic to constantly be gaslighted about your pain and not taken seriously. What's more, and Lara Parker discusses this in her book, is the toll that Vagina Problems takes on a person and their romantic relationships. It makes you feel unlovable and unworthy of love, embarassed and ashamed. But Parker reminds us that we are worthy of love and so much more. She writes: "I don't want to feel the urge to hide my pain, or my sadness, or my anger around my person. I want to just be me and know that despite everything, who I am is more than enough." That really resonated with me and while I have a lot of reconciling to do in terms of my condition (part of the reason I don't want to date anyone), this book made me feel seen, heard, and understood.

[Nicole LaRosee · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was disappointing. Rather than making an attempt to connect with readers, Lara Parker spends all 221 pages of this book telling the reader how difficult her life is. An incredibly entitled, disorganized, and boring read, Parker’s writing is redundant, self-absorbed, whiny, and immature. There are no studies/research included in this book, and it details only a very elementary understanding of these conditions.

[Cassidy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Make no mistake — this book brings to light taboo topics that the world SHOULD be talking about. And Lara Parker does a wonderful job sharing her story and vulnerability. I honor that and I was empowered by that.

My wish, though, is that there had been more structure to the book’s content and literary path. I felt like I was floating around between topics and angles the entire time. As with so many books, perhaps this one didn’t need better authorship, but better editing.

[Ann · Rating 2 out of 5]

Actually gave up. Repetitive drivel

[Jessica✨ · Rating 2 out of 5]

Way to repetitive, I thought that it would talk more about different chronic illness relating to the vagina etc. she just repeated herself non stop.

[Haley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an easy 5 stars, I think everyone needs to read this. People are giving it less stars for not being informative, but it was not meant to be. It's meant to show the world what it is like to live with an incurable chronic illness. It's something that people need to speak more about.

This book really resonated with me and helped me come to terms with my mental anguish. After years of being dismissed, called dramatic, or a hypochondriac by doctors, and countless days spent sobbing and yearning for a cure or any form of relief, I've finally started to come to terms with living with Endometriosis.

It's nice to not feel alone, that you aren't crazy and read about similar experiences to your own. I'm not very good at putting my own experience into words, in the future I'll be using this to teach those around me.

[Lindsay · Rating 4 out of 5]

5 stars for importance of subject matter, 3 stars for reading experience (mostly because it got pretty repetitive).