悩ましい彼

美しい彼 [Utsukushī Kare] #3

by Yuu Nagira, 凪良 ゆう, 葛西リカコ (Illustrator)

商品の説明
内容紹介
美形が売りの新人俳優の新作は、売れないお笑い芸人役！？　熱望した演出家の舞台なのに自分とかけ離れた配役に、稽古でもダメ出しの連続の清居。美しい顔が邪魔なら捨ててやる──！！　悩んだ末に舞台期間だけ20kgの増量を決意!!　醜くなる姿を見られたくないと恋人の平良に同居解消を言い渡す。俺には神とも星とも崇める清居が必要だ──！！　振って湧いた試練に平良は激しく動揺して！？

役者としてステップアップするため、清居が決行したのはなんと、××になるコト！？
「美しい彼」シリーズ、待望の新作が登場！！

内容（「BOOK」データベースより）
美形が売りの新人俳優の新作は、売れないお笑い芸人役!?熱望した演出家の舞台なのに自分とかけ離れた配役に、稽古でもダメ出しの連続の清居。美しい顔が邪魔なら捨ててやる―!!悩んだ末に舞台期間だけ20kgの増量を決意!!醜くなる姿を見られたくないと恋人の平良に同居解消を言い渡す。俺には神とも星とも崇める清居が必要だ―!!振って湧いた試練に平良は激しく動揺して!?

Genres: Romance, Light Novel, Contemporary, Yaoi, LGBT, Manga, Japanese Literature

322 pages, Paperback

Published July 26, 2019

About the author

Associated Names:
* 凪良 ゆう (Japanese)
* Yuu Nagira (English)
* นางิระ ยู (Thai)

Reviews

[Chai · Rating 5 out of 5]

you ever read something so good, you don't ever want it to end? so you take your time reading, savoring each scene, each conversation, each character?

this. was exactly it. exceeded my expectations and well deserved its first place in the kono BL ga yabai 2020 rankings. the english translation to this title is "he who is troubled" and according to nagira, this relates to both hira and kiyoi as they break away from the chains within themselves in order to go forward. the character development in this volume is surreal, and i was especially impressed with hira. hira was the definition of cringe machine last volume, but this volume, he seemed less negative (i mean hella negative yes, but less hella negative... if that makes sense. but by the end tho', baby. BOY LEVELED UP TO BOSS).

hira is struggling to meet the expectations placed upon him as he continues to assist a famous celeb photographer named noguchi, and it takes everything in him from getting crushed from the pressure of the jealous and curious eyes wanting to know why hira of all people was selected by noguchi himself. does hira really have hidden talents enough to take the world by storm? or is he secretly sleeping with noguchi? rumors and gossip are frequent, and hira doesn't think he belongs in such a glamorous world surrounded by actors, actresses, models, singers, etc when in his mind, he is equivalent to the pebbles in the ground. noguchi pushes him to host a solo exhibition as a prerequisite to be competitive for the prestigious kimura ihei award (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kimura_...), but hira doesn't think he is capable of succeeding. he believes people like kiyoi were born to succeed from the get go, and hira has to stay "in his place". whilst being apart from kiyoi for months (which comes with its own internal strife of course) he soon finds out everyone struggles, everyone is scared of failing, everyone gets nervous. as he sees kiyoi struggle silently, hira further realizes his feelings are not unique. however, if he continues to make excuses and don't even "try", then the people he love will move on ahead of him. he has to at least TRY. he can't hide within his own pretext of "but i don't belong in that world", when in reality he fears failure.

on the other side, kiyoi finally is selected to be part of play directed by someone he looks up to, the well known and widely sought after, ueda hideki. however, with the theme centered around the "7 deadly sins" he is casted to play - not a characteristic which suits him "pride" - but instead, the role of a character named nozomu who is "envy". his interpretation of this character is a far cry from the director's vision, and apparently everyone elses. he is alienated from his fellow cast members, insulted and berated by the director, and without no clear direction, he is left to his own devices to figure out how exactly to act this character before he humiliates himself in public or before ueda completely kicks him out of the play. he decides to throw away his "beauty" after hearing again and again why is he even trying for stage plays? people with gorgeous looks like him are better suited for tv and modeling. no one is taking his acting seriously because they are distracted by his beauty. if he's to act like nozomu, he is to BE like nozomu. so what does he do? he decides to gain 20 kilos.

i had the impression from the synopsis kiyoi was ordered to gain 20 kgs for the role, but this was purely decided by him alone. the whole gaining 20 kilos in the span of 3 months and then losing it again in the span of another 3 months - not so realistic. but it was very interesting nonetheless to read about his internal struggle with the weight gain and the verbal abuse or concern from fans, enemies, staff, and family. sadly no illustration of overweight kiyoi :(

i also just want to say, hira's love and support for kiyoi not wavering even a centimeter with kiyoi gaining all that weight.... hira. my man.

i could go on for days. THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT YOU GUYS.

also and i mean a BIG ALSO, this volume is 2/3 kiyoi's pov. bliss.

nagira's writing was really well done, her descriptive uses in certain scenes where she implemented humor were fantastic. and let's not forget hira's twitter account LOLOLOL

never in my life did i want rubber ducks so bad (as well as a rubber duck keychain!)

i am so dksjfldskjf excited to read about hira's solo debut. in 小説Chara 2020年01月号 that came out in nov '19, nagira writes a short story with hira's exhibit soon coming up and.... dun dun dun... !! i ordered a copy of the mag and it should be coming to my place on thurs, so kldsjfldksf;; cannot wait to read more.

speaking of more, nagira wrote in the author's note in the end how this series looks like it's gonna be a long one (OMFG PLEASE).

ANYWAYS yeah, great book was great. so great i took my time reading this, hoping i never reached the end. eventually i did tho' because all good things must eventually come to an end.

until the next......... volume? :O til then!

[Truc · Rating 5 out of 5]

[4.75/5] Cho điểm cuốn này cao nhất, quả thật bị thuyết phục hoàn toàn cách mà tác giả xây dựng mạch truyện theo hướng như vậy. Một Kiyoi nỗ lực hết mình vì diễn xuất mà chấp nhận tăng 20kg cho vai diễn, vì yêu cũng nỗ lực hết mình để hiểu rồi chấp nhận cậu người yêu sống trên trời của mình, vứt bỏ cả thể diện dù nhiều khi chính bản thân cũng tự ngạc nhiên sao có thể dễ dàng quăng liêm sỉ nhiều lần được như vậy, một Kiyoi kiêu hãnh luôn ngẩng cao đầu vì yêu mà bất chấp nhiều tới vậy sao.

Có một điều còn ngạc nhiên hơn rằng, cứ tưởng truyện khai thác vấn đề có đen tối u uất nhưng quá trình đọc vẫn nghĩ à ra chắc là hài đen ha, những đoạn đối thoại giữa Hira và Kiyoi, một người cố hiểu người còn lại nhưng người thì tư duy ở mặt đất người thì tư duy tầm vũ trụ quả thật là một điều hài hước rất chi là ức chế, chỉ muốn bay luôn vào truyện mà gõ đầu hai đứa thôi. Nói vậy thôi chớ trải nghiệm cuốn này là điều thú vị cực.

[Keiko, the manga enthusiast ♒︎ · Rating 3 out of 5]

The angst is suffocating me.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is my favorite of the series so far. I normally enjoy the Kiyoi chapters way more than the Hira chapters, but I liked them equally in this installment. I think it's because the characters actually grow and change throughout the narrative. It just made it a lot more interesting of a read.
Even though I enjoyed the Kiyoi overall, it was also... not great. So, Kiyoi is cast in a role by his favorite director and decides he needs to change himself in order to portray the role. This change is gaining weight. And the way this was handled was not great. The descriptions used during his weight gain were needlessly cruel. Other characters regularly call him a pig. Almost all his interactions are people asking about his weight gain. He also spends a lot of his time during this weight gain thinking about "how disgusting" he feels and looks. It was just a lot.
There were a couple of good parts about this weight gain though. One was that Hira thought Kiyoi was just as beautiful after the weight gain. And it didn't feel like lip service. Hira just genuinely adores Kiyoi in any way shape or form. Also, once Kiyoi started gaining a bunch of weight, his talent agency seemed to first be concerned about his mental health. Of course, they were motivated by wanting Kiyoi to be thin again, but it was still nice that they wanted to help with Kiyoi's mental health first.
Anyway, I enjoyed this book, but the weight thing was honestly pretty unnecessary.

[⭐️ · Rating 5 out of 5]

UGH FRUSTRATINGLY PERFECT!! These MCs shouldnt work but they just do??!!?? God i love how they both love each other so much in their own way. They 👏 just 👏 work 👏

[Nitzan Schwarz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Honestly, I love this series so so much and can't wait for Interlude to be published in July.

This review will be a bullet point review of my random thoughts throughout.

If I had to categorize the Hira to Kiyoi POV ratios of the series thus far, I would put book one at a 70-30% ratio favoring Hira, book two at a somewhat even spread, and book three at a 70-30% ratio favoring Kiyoi. That's not a bad thing, nor does it mean we lack in Hira development. Quite the contrary, as this volume was chock-full of character development for both of them. It's almost impossible to compare Hira and Kiyoi of book one to their current selves, and I mean that in the best of ways. However, for both of them to move forward individually, they also had to spend some time apart, and as a huge HiraxKiyoi shipper, that was a major bummer. It was fascinating to see both of them tackle their professional issues on their own, but damn. They really aren't together often in this volume, with them properly separated (but never broken up!) for half the book. I totally understand why it was necessary, but hopefully it won't happen again LMAO.

I hate Ueda, the "genius" director of the stage play Kiyoi is in. The whole "you've got to figure it out yourself" bit is absolute horseshit, and I despise it. You chose a relative amateur but were utterly unwilling to invest even an ounce into him. Yet, you had the gall to be mad and—quite frankly—torture him over his difficulties grasping his character. If this had been done to someone less resilient than Kiyoi, I wouldn't be surprised if it completely broke them. And this is your M.O.! Within this universe, how many people have you crushed to dust? God, I want to punch this guy. If Kiyoi had never figured it out, it would've been on you, you stupid prick!

If Ueda hadn't been such a major asshole, a lot of things would be different. Kiyoi would most likely not have chosen such an extreme—and dangerous—path forward. Or, at the very least, he would've done so far more safely, with proper monitoring and professional guidance. It's especially frustrating because of how fantastic Kiyoi's company and staff are. These people care about Kiyoi and his aspirations. But that could've very easily not have been the case. In fact, this could've cost Kiyoi his career.

The upside of this novel focusing more heavily on Kiyoi's professional struggles is that we get to see more of his family. Kiyoi had always been the more untethered of the two, surprisingly enough. I have always been a fan of seeing families in BL, especially ones that are so average, like Hira and Kiyoi's. Even though these men are far from normal, their families kind of are. Neither is super incredible, but neither are they comically bad. It's nice to see. I really hope Hira can finally meet Kiyoi's folks in the next installment (and are we ever going to see his bio dad??)

One thing I am sad about is that we didn't get to see any images of Kiyoi after the weight gain. The author does allude to the fact that she had commissioned some, but they were all "too pretty" and thus did not work (though she also seems to be implying she added them to the end of the book, but there were none in this volume). I think it's essential to have these images, and even better if he still looks fantastic in them. This novel teetered on the verge of fanphobia, though I do think it manages to avoid it, despite the Japanese culture, which is fanphobic, as can be seen by the surroundings' reaction to Kiyoi's weight gain. However, there are some critical balancing factors - first, Hira's indifference toward this weight gain; it doesn't change Kiyoi for him, which is super important (though it does come from a character most of us can't identify with). Then there is Kiyoi's company, who never entertain the thought of dropping him. Yes, they suggest rapid plans of weight loss, but it's underlined with a very genuine sense of concern for his emotional well-being and worry over what's causing him to gain weight so rapidly. And when he declines, they drop it, until it gets so severe they turn to psychological help - again, they're looking to treat the emotional problem, rather than putting the weight gain as the problem, which I feel is a very important distinction. Finally, while Kiyoi himself treats his fat self in disdain, it is very clearly directed at himself and not overweight people in general. He hates the changes to his body, hates how it doesn't move the same, hates how it makes him feel, but his inner dialogue does not seem to project all of those things onto overweight people, nor is it saying that all overweight people are ugly. It reminds me a lot of how pregnant women discuss changes to their bodies and how they struggle with them, if that makes sense? So while sometimes, I was a bit uncomfortable with Kiyoi's inner monologue and emphasis on his skinny body being the best him, I also had empathy for these feelings.

[L. · Rating 5 out of 5]

"...you both have to destroy yourselves in order to be reborn. [...] Do you get what I'm saying?"
"Not really."
"Oh. I guess it's hard to see when you're drowning."

"If he wanted to escape what scared him, he had to run. Run so fast that the scary things couldn't catch up to him."


A full month after I started reading it, I finally finished My Troublesome Man. I won't lie -- this was a hard book for me to read. I don't like disordered eating (I think at this point I can safely say it's truly the only squick, maybe trigger, that I have) and being presented with the premise of "getting fat removes someone's beauty" was fairly upsetting, especially as someone who's lived as a plus sized person in our modern beauty standard society my whole life.

But, much like the discomfort I felt while reading the first volume, it was worth it. It was so worth it. Now, would I be saying it was worth it if the author had gone into more detail around the above mentioned topics? Maybe not, but considering the level the author did go into and the way it was all handled, it ended up working for me, and almost ended up being an almost therapeutic read, given how much Hira still loved Kiyoi, how the people in Kiyoi's life responded to him, how he was able to ultimately prove himself...

But I want to set that aside for now.

This volume was a wonderful continuation of the series; like Nagira said in the afterward, characters need to develop and grow as the story goes on, and both Hira and Kiyoi needed to grow at this point in the story. And their growth was... beautiful. I loved how hopeless they both felt, and I especially loved they both had to 'destroy themselves' in order to change. It's an extremely drastic way to view change and growth... but it is also the way I view changing and growing, and is also a process I have gone through in order to grow. Sometimes you need to break yourself down, to your bare core, and build yourself back up -- and I think that was captured very well in both Hira and Kiyoi's transformations.

I also really love how part of their transformations was working to better understand each other. Hira still has a bit of a way to go, but he's making a clear effort, and Kiyoi! I am so impressed to see how deeply he is beginning to understand Hira -- both who he was in the past and who he is now, how he thinks and speaks, and what is really lurking behind his gaze. Hira came off as a simple character in the first novel, and I love that his depth has been slowly revealed over the course of other characters meeting and interacting with him.

I am really glad that this volume did not kill my love for this series. I still love it, and the characters still hold a very special place in my heart. I am eagerly awaiting the next volume, and will probably go rewatch the show again while I wait.

[K · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'd definitely been assuming this was the final volume, with the "Interlude" one being some assorted short stories or something. Clearly hadn't looked into it enough, since the author's note indicates she's planning for it to be a very long series...or at least that's how it felt. Not sure if this is a series where I'll feel invested for the very long haul, but it is nice to see the characters actually developing pretty significantly.

The big theme is self-discovery, from both Kiyoi and Hira. In the process, they begin to actually, finally, understand each other a little bit better, too. It turns out that Hira really was the true creative genius all along, with a passionate intensity and brilliantly twisted mind that just wasn't understood by his much more normal classmates.

He and Kiyoi play off each other a lot, pushing each other to new heights and taking inspiration to pursue their own journeys and become their best selves. Kiyoi, despite his beautiful face and model-like appearance, is completely hooked on live theatre and finally manages to get an acting break with his most idolized director and playwright. He does terribly for quite a while, unable to grasp the nuances of his assigned role until he finally breaks through some of his understanding of who Hira really is as a person and is able to channel a mixture of that and his own insecurities onto the stage.

I get the whole gaining weight out of dedication to a role thing - it definitely happens with character actors in Hollywood - although I'm guessing a lot of Western readers won't like what feels like pretty intense fat-shaming. From the point of view of the industry he's in, though, where we just had an entire book about how heavily managers control their talents' personal lives, Kiyoi's face and body ARE his paycheck, and he was destroying what felt like a rising star in television just to gain 40 pounds for a 2 month theatre performance that not a lot of people would even see.

Of course, his shame about Hira seeing him being "disgusting" like that is over-the-top, but that is part of his character, too. As much as he "hates" Hira's "gross" devotion towards him, Kiyoi is also pretty terrified that one day Hira will decide he's over it and move on. Kiyoi's entire life and career are built over wanting to be seen and loved, so he's the way more fragile one of the two.

Hira, meanwhile, is finally finding his "voice" through his photography, and I was disappointed that we didn't get to actually see reactions to his solo exhibition. I don't know if that'll be in the Interlude or in a subsequent volume...or if a fifth volume has even been written yet?

[sheshei · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just what the heck did I just read? Nagira Yuu, I need you to hurry up and write the fourth volume… or if it’s already published, I need it licensed to English so I can buy it as well.

The way Hira and Kiyoi matured a lot ????

They’re still as kinky as ever, too. God bless them.

Other than that, I’m just… speechless. There are no words to describe how much I loved this volume. I’d say it’s my favorite of the three. They’re still as idiotic as ever, but they’re sooooo in love and they’re trying to hard to make their relationship work better. They’re obsessed with each other and that’s GOOD!

Hira is getting his well written character development and I’m loving it. I also love how supportive Kiyoi is. He’s always making sure to show his support to Hira, even if it’s something he doesn’t like— simply because Hira likes or wants it. That’s how a relationship works.

Kiyoi too. I gotta say that he surprised me so much with the way he tried so hard to understand Hira. Of course, he’ll never be in Hira’s shoes (for better or worse, idk), but he FINALLY managed to understand him thanks to Nozomi, the character he did for Mr. Ueda’s play. I’m so, so genuinely happy that Kiyoi is getting better and better every volume.

The two of them are changing for the better and their relationship is just growing stronger than ever.

I have to mention that the “let’s stop living together and don’t come see any of the plays or anything related to me for seven months” from Kiyoi was so funny. He went through some hell because he missed Hira like crazy. But I also believe that living separately helped them a lot, and for the better.

What else can I say? Kiyoi getting all submissive when they’re making love and Hira becoming a beast like Kiyoi always wanted…. Yeah. Wish they could have babies. Deep sigh.

[Paula (lovebookscl) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Estaba un poco nerviosa por la temática de este tomo, porque seamos honestas, el tema del sobrepeso y los desórdenes alimenticios muchas veces se abordan de forma insensible en el contenido japonés. Hay diferentes estándares de belleza (a veces abordados con crueldad). Y aunque creo que hay momentos en los que se requirió más delicadeza y matiz, tampoco lo encontré terrible. Fue mejor de lo que esperaba. Creo que la temática fue abordada acorde a la personalidad del personaje afectado.

Más allá de eso, este tomo tiene tantos paralelos interesantes entre Hira y Kiyoi. Ambos están entrando a las partes más difíciles del inicio de sus carreras. Ambos toman nuevos desafíos, por su propia pasión individual pero además para impresionar al otro. Y ambos tienen profesores sumamente exigentes pero que saben pulir a sus estudiantes.

Lo curioso de todo este tomo es ver roles invertidos, y como Hira y Kiyoi abordan el cambio en la dinámica, aunque sea breve. Al final del día, su amor sigue brillando fuerte y lo que parecen ser grandes obstáculos, no lo son. Si hay algo que nunca se puede cuestionar es que se aman y que nada los va a separar.

Ver a Kiyoi marcando territorio y diciendo “my man” nunca dejará de ser gracioso.

Sigo disfrutando enormemente de esta serie y obviamente voy corriendo al siguiente tomo.

[Beam Tennyson · Rating 4 out of 5]

ขอยกนิ้วให้นากิระ ยู ผู้เขียนที่บรรยายการเติบโตของตัวละครได้อย่างชัดเจนและสมเหตุสมผลขนาดนี้
ในเล่มนี้ ฮิระกับคิโยอิที่มุ่งมั่นกับการทำงานต่างต้องเผชิญกับการเติบโตทางจิตใจครั้งยิ่งใหญ่ คนที่ต่างกันสุดขั้วจนไม่มีใครคิดว่าจะมาคบกันได้กลับเป็นพลังที่ส่งเสริมและสนับสนุนกันและกันได้อย่างดี จนทำให้เชื่อว่าไม่มีใครเหมาะกับราชาผู้สูงส่งอย่างคิโยอิเท่ากับก้อนหินข้างทางอย่างฮิระ และไม่มีใครจะรับมือกับสตอล์กเกอร์โรคจิตคลั่งรักอย่างฮิระได้ดีไปกว่าสุดซึนจอมหวงแฟนอย่างคิโยอิ
ในฐานะคนอ่านที่ตามติดความสัมพันธ์ของคู่นี้มาตลอดตั้งแต่ ม.ปลาย รู้สึกอิ่มเอมใจมากๆ และอยากตามอ่านเรื่องราวของทั้งคู่ต่อไปเรื่อยๆ

เล่มนี้ขอหักคะแนน1ดาวเนื่องจากแทบไม่มีความหวานโรแมนติกเหมือนเล่มที่ผ่านมาเพราะตัวเอกต่างคนต่างกำลังมีปัญหา555 และตัวละครรอบข้างที่แบนมากเมื่อเทียบกับตัวเอกที่มิติเยอะเกิน เหมือนมีไว้เพื่อให้คำแนะนำตัวเอกก็เท่านั้น น่าจะทำได้ดีมากกว่านี้

[misti · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another amazing book.

Again, the story was fantastic. Always leaving me to want more. I've read the entire series in 5 days and sad that it's the last one out for now. The character development,the trials, them always being them at the core while still moving forward. It's all so good, plus the spicey moments are a nice touch to add to the maturity and intimacy. It's fun to see how the roles somewhat reverse when intimacy is involved. Im also a photographer myself, albeit not a top-notch one. But it makes the story that much more compelling to me. The way they described hiras images made me really want to see them! Im so excited for the next one. I hope it comes sooner rather than later.

[Jay · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading this one, I did not think I was going to give it four stars. As I was reading it in the beginning, I felt that it was an okay three stars, and it was a bit of a tough read given the subjects it touches on in the novel. However, my opinion, which rose and fell from Four to Three and back again between scenes, finally came to the conclusion that I do in fact think it deserves a four out of five with the amount of beauty not only in the ending, but throughout the whole book.

Can it be bleak and dreary at times? Yes. But boy, if there aren't beautiful moments along the way.

4/5 Onward to the next volume...Interlude.

[Shaun "AceFireFox" · Rating 4 out of 5]

A time when we can see both our boys grow. Kiyoi in breaking through his stilted way of seeing things and letting go of some of his pride and not relying on good looks to coast, and Hira in finding some sense of independence and also learning to face his own twisted way of viewing the world.

I don't really have much to say, to be honest. It's good growth for them both. Hira's choice for his exhibition topic is definitely interesting. Because what is the best way to show someone's true self and vulnerabilities than to strip them completely bare? At least, that's how I saw it.

[Pia · Rating 4 out of 5]

清居と平良が人として、カップルとして成長したなー

[Yeon · Rating 3 out of 5]

có thằng bồ như Hira chắc ức chế vl công nhận Kiyoi thần kinh thép ghê🥲

[Arta reads at night · Rating 3 out of 5]

DNF 29%
2,8 (?) ⭐️

I just lost interest and couldn’t find it. The main feeling was “so what”. So, putting it down for now.

[Lia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Los amooo son mis amigos personales 🫣

[flop · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kinda the worst reading experience I’ve had in a long time.