Bad Theology Kills: Undoing Toxic Belief & Reclaiming Your Spiritual Authority

by Kevin Garcia, Mike McHargue (Foreword)

Bad theology nearly took Kevin's life. They believed that God could never love them because they were queer, leading to a deadly shame that nearly took Kevin's life. Kevin felt trapped by fear. Fear of losing their community, their family, and even their connection to God.That is until Kevin changed their mind, finally hearing the voice of the Spirit calling them to believe something better.Through personal experience, classical theological devices, and a fair bit of profanity, Kevin dives into some of the most common toxic belief patterns that are killing our communities, showing you how to undo them, and how to create new, better theology to lead you back to your spiritual authority.Bad Theology Kills is the first step on leaving behind a religion filled with fear and blossoming into a life and spirituality grounded in Love....Like many Evangelical Christians, Kevin grew up believing that being gay was a sin punishable by hell and social ex-communication. After 12 years of ex-gay therapy resulting in two suicide attempts, Kevin realized that God never would ask them to give up who they were, but rather God invited Kevin deeper into the heart of Love, deeper into who they always were meant to be. They realized that Love doesn't have to hurt, and that God was much bigger than anticipated.Through personal stories, fresh takes on old Bible stories, and employing trusted theological devices, Bad Theology Kills shows us not only can we craft new theologies that can redeem our faith, but we can save lives. Bad theology is killing all of us. And a better way is possible.

Genres: Religion, Nonfiction, Theology, Spirituality, Christian, LGBT, Queer

173 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 28, 2020

Reviews

[Rosalind · Rating 4 out of 5]

Eminently readable and filled with some real gems of wisdom. Ngl, some of it still feels like absolute heresy in my not-all-the-way deconstructed brain, but like, good heresy. Definitely some quotes I’ll be mulling over.

I can’t help but wish there had been a little more description of the world Kevin deconstructed from: the book seems pitched at readers who have had similarly strong evangelical upbringings, alluding to lots of shared experiences which a milder upbringing might not grasp. Not a criticism as such, I just wish Kevin had spelled out what it meant for them and their inner world slightly more. I would have liked to see the bad theology in the harsh light of day, before getting to the goods that Garcia readily imparts. That being said, I’ve no doubt that the writing of this would potentially be (re)triggering trauma and I don’t need my books written with blood. I just wonder whether the book could have a wider readership if it had been a bit more illustrative and personal. But you know me, I love a memoir.

The other huge reservation I have is the amount of literary errors. I read the Kindle version and it is, quite honestly, inexcusably shoddy. Paragraph breaks halfway through a sentence, misspellings, and loads of omitted words (by loads I mean several a chapter). It’s a testament to the content that I battled through to the end. Kevin if you’re reading this, I’m a freelancer that works with copywriting, online marketing and proofreading - I’d be delighted to correct your work FOC as a thank you for what you’re doing for the community. Slide into my DMs: @rosieverbose. Kevin’s proofreader, if you’re reading this: do better.

Overall though, a very enjoyable, provoking, and, dare I say it, prophetic read.

[Meaghan · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.75

Lots of good information, thoughts, and observations that were validating. Garcia has a beautiful story and I appreciate their insight. The downside was because it was self publised there were a lot of errors, to the point that sometimes I wasn't sure exactly what they were trying to say. This is the 2nd edition and has had some revisions already so hopefully the next edition will be clearer.
Despite that, I still found this a very helpful and impactful book.

[Yige · Rating 4 out of 5]

Just what I needed for my little deconstructing brain

[Kelsie Stelting · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book so much. I wish every person would read this with an open mind and heart.

[Kami Francis · Rating 3 out of 5]

Bad Theology is like a journal of therapy notes, a blog post, and a live-streamed sermon all rolled into one. It's raw, and it reads as if it's being spoken, even spoken extemporaneously. (And having heard Kevin Miguel Garcia preach before, I love picturing them doing their thing through these pages!) It feels familiar, written specifically for those who grew up in Evangelical movements and purity culture. And to some degree, it contains elements of that culture: sound bites, emotional tugs, and meaning-making anecdotes, but they're subversive, reframed.

It's a DIY book, and the worst part is that there were enough typos that they disrupted my reading, enough for me to mention in this review. The best part is it is truly Kevin's, in that it is both so personal, the core of of their hurt and heart on display; AND so expansive, putting into words and images the experiences and feelings of so many who have been hurt by the church. And most importantly, Kevin reminds us to listen to our BODIES, to tune into that holy thing we were told was so evil and find God there. I haven't stopped thinking about this book for weeks.
• • •

"I wonder if I am still a Christian, mainly based on everything written above. I assume many would consider my practices anywhere from unholy to wild and blatant heresy. Most of the time, I want to give up the label of Christian. I want to walk away from the Church. But the reality is that even if I didn't have the Church, it's likely I'd still talk about God through the lens of Jesus. It's the tradition I've spent my whole life in, the one that I connect most with, the one that makes sense given my experience, and the one that introduced me to God. That gratitude keeps me here, for the moment at least."

"Love only flows in two directions: in and out of a person. If you stop the flow of Love in any direction, you stop the flow in all directions. Stifling my sexuality was stifling my ability to give or receive love. Thus, I was stifling God's work in my life and any hope I had for a future."

"His experience was he saw a woman suffering, and it was within His power to help her, and He did. His experience of suffering led to his reason, asking, "It this right?" He knew the scriptures and tradition wouldn't agree with Him. He did it anyway. He healed someone on the Sabbath, flying in the face of a tradition that was harming people in real time."

"When we kissed, it was like my whole body ignited in a way I had never felt before when I kissed a woman. Fireworks. That's the best way I know how to describe it. For once, I decided to trust that feeling. It felt so good to feel good. Spending most of your life hating yourself for wanting to be held by someone who might love you, and then to release yourself from that hate; it's like tasting honey and cinnamon in your oatmeal after eating it plain your whole life. It's wholesome."

"Was it not a feeling that led me to follow Jesus? A sense in my body, an electricity of endless love and compassion, that had me caught up in the joy of the Spirit? I can remember the moment clear as day."

"I've met prophets. They don't look like the preachers I listened to growing up. They are black and queer and fat. They are native and transgender and woman. They are Buddhist and Witch and Baháʼí and Atheist. And yes, many of them are Christians, but many wouldn't call them that. They are not perfect, but saints never are. That isn't a requirement. Willingness is.

Willingness to listen for God. Willingness to listen to God. Willingness to ask more questions. Willingness to share what God is saying to them. Willingness to make the space inside their heart even bigger for the sake of more Love. Willingness to try. Willingness to do the next right thing. Willingness to be wrong. Some of these prophets call Jesus friend, some call him Lord, some don't call Jesus anything."

[Ruthanne Hughes · Rating 5 out of 5]

I haven't underlined and marked up a book this much in a long time. So much of what Kevin writes resonates so deeply with me. I caught myself releasing breaths I didn't know I was holding and relaxing parts of my body I didn't know were tense, over and over. Chapter 4, What in the Actual Hell sent me running to my therapist to realize that I've got very young childhood wounds that have been keeping me paralyzed in fear and unable to move forward in my imagination of what God could be like, how this could all be so much more beautiful and expansive and free than I was ever taught.

The content of this book is so good. I know not everyone I know is ready for it, but I want to share this freedom with everyone and recommend it all around. I will note: it's a self published book, which means it doesn't have the advantages of paid professional editors and copywriters, so if typos and grammatical wobbles keep you from being able to absorb the message, maybe wait for a later edition. Also, if Kevin ever happens to read this: I've got a weirdly alert eye for typos, grammar, and formatting, but I'm also a linguist and don't believe in pushing prescriptive grammar or conventions on people. So if you need someone to read through the book several more times and give you a compilation of those tiny adjustments, hit me up. For real.

Anyways, go read the book, y'all. <3

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found myself circling, underlining, and writing YES! in the margins a lot. I felt so comforted to find someone else who had wrestled/processed the revelations I am working through: the fear of being wrong, of upsetting loved ones, of standing on my own two feet, taking back my own authority from the confines I'd previously surrendered to. Kevin gets it and takes readers by the hand to process those anxieties and limiting beliefs.

I would have loved to get more consistency with footnotes/sources because I too would be interested in reading some of the philosophers and theologians Kevin had learned from.

just a few of many lines/phrases I underlined:
"when we do theology from only one perspective, we fail to see the vastness of who God is, making the Divine into the idolatrous image of the mythical norm."

"You are the Christ to the world in which you find yourself if you choose to be."

"I love Jesus. And I will follow Him where He leads me. Even if that is away from the Church. Even if that is away from the label of Christian altogether, if that's what it takes."

[Madison Lawson · Rating 5 out of 5]

SO good. I had an edited copy so that’s nice! There were some typos but nothing overwhelming. Really I just loved the book and the way Kevin writes. They do an incredible job of sprinkling in humor, scripture, personal stories, world facts, serious stuff, etc. Like it feels so genuine and is readable and has some incredible quotes etc. Basically, I was a fan

[renée jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent piece in content, but the editing was horrific. At least three people’s names were misspelled, there was confusion of homophones, and spacing errors abounding. These errors really caused me to struggle in understanding the content.

[Chalse · Rating 5 out of 5]

Definitely the spiciest theology book I've ever read, and there were some typos, but it was a great read. I have plenty ideas to branch off on for further reading. Most of all, though, I loved how a lot of it ties back to core ideas from Black Liberation theology.

[Katy Campbell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fantastic. I’ve never read about theology this way, been told that my experiences and feelings are just as divine as those of my pastor or mentor. Really freeing. Highly recommend.

[Brittany Gurley · Rating 4 out of 5]

The content was helpful and insightful. Garcia has a beautiful story. There are definitely some formatting issues that detracted from the material.

[Megan Mae Oitzman · Rating 2 out of 5]

Gracia’s story is heartbreaking and beautiful and raw and real. Felt like talking to a friend or reading their journal! (Read the updated version)

[Lindsey R · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kevin’s book will save lives. Their book guides readers toward peace with self and others. Kevin poses the essential question: do you want to be right or do you want to be loved? I began this book wondering if I believed in anything anymore, and finished it thinking that maybe it’s not your particular beliefs that matter so much as how your beliefs motivate you to act and live a good life with respect and love for self and others. Thanks Kevin for sharing your story and perspective.

[David Mccarrick · Rating 4 out of 5]

The good thing about a theology book is that you don't have to agree with it completely to enjoy it. I found that I often disagreed with the author in terms of their view of God and some aspects of biblical exegesis. However, their affirming stance on LGBTQ Christians and their inherent hopeful attitude regard Faith in the world was delightful. The interludes did not detract from the story and helped to illuminate their theological stances.

[Bonner A. · Rating 2 out of 5]

In reading Garcia’s story, one can’t help but feel sorrow; sorrow for the things that happened in his life; sorrow for the way he was treated from a young age (bullied); sorrow for his parents and family. It is a tragedy; a telling of the pain in his life. He pulls his readers in through his narrative, which is effective. I give him kudos for his honesty and rawness in his writings. That said, this is not a theology book, but rather a memoir of Garcia’s stories, feelings, politics, and emotions and how he responded to life growing up.

Here is the hypothesis of Garcia’s book: “I'd argue that the majority of Christian practices, especially in Evangelicalism that I grew up in, are heretical. Furthermore, I’d say they are, in fact, anti-Christ.” (p.7) To which one must first ask what are Garcia’s definitions of Christianity, Evangelicalism and the basic tenants of the Christian faith. This is where his writings become convoluted, inconsistent and contradictory (which is why it reads as more of a diary than a thought-out statement of faith).

I would agree, that Garcia’s childhood theology was heretical and damaging, but it also was not exactly Christian. He admits that he embraced a works-oriented salvation, based on behavior. He writes, “I kept my grades up, didn't have sex, drink or do drugs, or cuss. Because I did these things, I knew I was a good Christian. I belonged. I was praised for my behavior. I knew that because I did these things, God was pleased with me.” (p. 16) In short, Garcia became a modern-day Pharisee, not a Christian.

All that came to an end, when Garcia started having homosexual desires that were inconsistent with his Pharisee lifestyle. The conflict of which lead to this line of reasoning:

“I didn't choose to be attracted to boys. I know I didn't choose this. And if I didn't choose it, the only other logical option, to me, was that God designed me this way. When I asked the Holy Spirit to confirm it through feelings of peace, and if it wasn't right to give me discomfort … what I felt was peace.” (p.18) Thereby, these “feelings of peace” confirmed his reasoning and God’s approval of his homosexuality.

In response to this awakening, Garcia embraces universal salvation (we’re all forgiven) and pantheism (that God is all and in all). At the same time, he rejects Christ’s atonement for sin, and Christ’s virgin birth, death, burial and resurrection. He argues that man is good at his core - rejecting the fallen nature of man - and rejects the authority of Scripture. He writes, “…the Bible contradicts itself in so many places. If you were looking to this book to be a reliable and cohesive guide to life, you might be looking in the wrong place.” (p. 46) He concludes, “In fact, I'd say we are more qualified to make those calls than the writers of the Bible because, to be frank, they are not here.” (p. 48). To be clear, Garcia elevates our authority and our experiences today above that of Scripture. Thereby, logically it would follow, that we can write our own Bible.

After Garcia has obliterated the Bible, what’s left? Obviously, this is not orthodox Christian theology, but a shadow of it; a straw-man theology; a gross misrepresentation of the Gospel (the Good News). Garcia himself questions, “I wonder if I am still a Christian, mainly based on everything written above. (p. 43).

What Garcia lands on is not truth, but tradition. “So, if the Bible is now up for interpretation, that leaves just one thing: Tradition.” (p. 53) And what is this tradition? Here again Garcia displays his reasoning:
• Tradition teaches that of marriage as only between a man and women, and that heterosexuality as normal and good.
• This “tradition” has caused pain and suffering, by denying people what they want to do.
• God is a god of love, not of pain and suffering.
• Therefore, the tradition must be wrong and sinful.

After creating his straw-man argument and rejecting it for being harmful, Garcia in turn creates a feels-good theology with a one-dimensional god; a god with seemingly only one attribute: love. This god is all-loving and missing a few of his other attributes (justice, mercy, righteousness, infallibility, etc.). Logic and reason would then tell you, that all that follows after this paradigm shift is predictable. And it does. Like a house of cards.

Which all leads Garcia to this conclusion:

“Why am I telling you these stories? Why am I leaning more heavily into experience and not into reinterpreting scripture to make it fit our modern sensibilities? Because for us to move into a faith that is dynamic and informed by our actual lived experiences, we must actually include our lived experiences, seeing them as a holy text.” (p. 125)

Again, this was not a theology book, but rather a book of stories. In fact, there’s very little Scripture reference in it, and even then, it’s bits and pieces. While I feel sorrow for Garcia’s life experience, the “bad theology” that he labels as the nemesis of his pain and suffering is a bad carbon-copy of the original. In the end, what he embraces is not a re-enlightened Christian theology, but rather simply a secular spiritualism devoid of the power of the Gospel.

Note: as mentioned in another review, this book was poorly edited. There are several grammatical mistakes and errors which doesn’t add to the credibility of the author or the editor, Claire McIvor.

[B · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was powerful. I listened to the audiobook, which was a lovely way to experience this work. Kevin has a beautiful voice and reads their own words with emotion and exactitude; what an intimate way to enjoy such a special book! The tone is conversational but littered with moments of eloquence that make you "mm" and "YeS!" out loud.

I think this book is especially enlightening for those quite far down the path of faith deconstruction, who have long since left the conservative thought camp. Had I read this in my first year of deconstructing my theology I would have been scared shitless by the "heresy". However, reading it today (after years of already adopting a more progressive theology) was a breath of fresh air.

The genre of this book is varied, including elements of fable, poetry, memoir, and exegesis. I enjoyed the many ways Kevin addresses bad theology, as each element speaks to a different experience and is rich in its own way.

My one critique of Bad Theology Kills is that I wish it were developed for a more universal audience, not just a western one. I am an American living abroad and I witness the effects of bad theology outside of my home country too. I think this is partly due to Christianity being propagated by western missionaries with oppressive, imperialist theological lenses. I would love to read a book that could be more easily applied outside of America. Perhaps it's already been written, but my point is that Kevin's message is so important that it should be developed and shared outside of the western context.

Maybe Kevin isn't the one to write that book because of their unique experience and expertise. Regardless, Bad Theology Kills was another great read to help me along in my faith evolution journey.

[Sarah Eliason · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormon), which is similar to mainstream Christianity in a lot of ways, but also has its own brands of both oppression and hope. Even though we come from different belief systems, there was SO. MUCH. that still spoke to me.

I’ve been experiencing a faith transformation recently and there were many times that I just sobbed because I felt like someone was finally hearing my heart. I also strongly recommend both the audio and ebook - hearing Kevin say, “Ain’t you tired babe?” hits the heart strings in a way you can’t really get from the printed version, but you also will want to take all the notes.

I’ve also been seeking for more knowledge to understand what my LGBTQ+ relations experience, and to know what I can do as an ally to actively educate my white-cis-hetero brothers and sisters and build a better, safer church. I feel like Kevin’s story really opened up my eyes, and helped me to see how I needed to evolve my faith in order to create that safety.

I highly recommend this book for anyone seeking to expand their belief system.

[Alyssa · Rating 1 out of 5]

While I'm in agreement with many of the stances Garcia takes, this self-published book provides an unintentional testimony to the important role of the editor and the press. The book overflows with logical fallacies, building an argument about theology that contains little actual theology. What theological concepts are discussed in the book tend toward the sophomoric in the extreme. The work plays fast and loose with terminology, basing its arguments about theology on broad, nuance-free generalizations. Evaluated as a memoir, this book has some moments that are decent, and if Garcia were to revise it into an autobiography, it has real potential. However, as a work attempting to be theological, it becomes the very thing it seeks to resist by creating God in one's own image, if an inverse image to the one the book indicts. The book also lacks necessary citations and contains many typographical errors which pale in comparison to its extreme logical errors. There are plenty of books that effectively deal with rampant problematic theology. Read one of them instead.

[Josiah Haugen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Growing up as the gay son of a pastor in the Evangelical Free Church of America I have had to come to terms with many of the pressing and harmful theology indoctrinated into my way of thinking that has prevented me from truly loving myself and therefore have any sort of healthy faith. In this book Garcia breaks down the barriers that have been built up over the millennia and is simultaneously liberating and terrifying as you feel as though the floor of your faith has been ripped out from underneath you. At the same time however Garcia approaches each topic with grace allowing the reader to take the necessary time to explore the ideology they are suggesting. I took my time working through this book and allowed myself the space to get past some of my knee jerk reactions and embrace Garcia's point of view. Overall, Garcia is unashamedly candid and unrelenting in their thesis that Bad Theology Kills.

[Kelley Wool · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is for anyone who has done / is open to faith deconstruction AND still feels that spiritual practice is a core part of your life and identity. Kevin is a wonderful place to start if you're ready to explore what you believe and see what grows out of the ashes. Using personal narrative (I laughed and cried), Biblical theory (I love learning new shit about the Bible!), and a Spirit-filled imagination (I underlined so much in this book), Kevin is one of the prophets who will lead this generation into communion with God. I'm still working on rejecting the mentally damaging theology of a wrathful God / absolute depravity in myself, but this book helped me make big beautiful steps away from that as I begin to believe that separation from God was only an illusion, and God had always already loved me completely. What good news!

[Marilyn Mariah]

I love Kevin. I love their presence and their writing style, but holy hell was I frustrated with this book. The content? Great. Fantastic. But there were so many errors. And maybe I just didn’t get the edited version because I’ve seen people mention that they did. But also, it seems like there are a lot of things that need to be cited that just aren’t. “Studies say” and stats and quotes without references in footnotes or in a reference page or a Parenthetical citation. This could be a GREAT book for people who even just want to get introduced to the topic. However, I have a hard time thinking that people who don’t already love Kevin, their content, or is already a person in a belief system that holds to the idea that “bad theology kills” will be able to trust the author as a reliable source.

[Kali Cawthon-Freels · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fantastic content, poor editing

Bad Theology Kills is a book full of great ideas that suffers from a lack of editing. Kevin provides their readers with a deep well of insightful thoughts to chew on, but is often repetitive at the beginning-- the quality of the content improved with each chapter. The final product, through, reads like the first draft of a project. A second edition --thoroughly edited for both typos and streamlined content-- would make this book a force to be reckoned with. I've had the pleasure of meeting Kevin in real life on a couple of occasions (fantastic human), and I hope they're able to get this book through the editing necessary to make this book as widespread and impactful as it deserves to be.

[Kayla · Rating 5 out of 5]

Completely Shaken

This book left me completely shaken in an entirely good way. Kevin was able to encapsulate things I’ve always felt within myself, and awoken things that I didn’t even realize were asleep. Their ability to name their truth, to share their joy, pain, and growth is nothing short of inspiring. I am grateful and humbled by their courage. They chose to share their truth and they chose to say “What I have seen and experienced, what WE have seen and experienced, isn’t Love and things need to change.” Thank you, Kevin, for your wisdom and the love you show in this book. May I impart the wisdom you have shared to others so that they too can grow in love.

[Elizabeth Murray · Rating 4 out of 5]

I appreciate Kevin’s point of view, vulnerability, and look back at his personal history with evangelical history. This book is honest, raw, and even explicit. It would be a good read for many people who are “deconstructing” their faith, especially those who are particular hurt by
or angry the Church- or for those who have felt utterly suffocated by a rigid theology of a conservative Church. This book is not for those who are looking to slowly stretch their traditional, American understanding of God and Christianity. I think it’s for those who are already on the margins, not those you want to to “enlighten” IMHO!
I affirm Kevin’s experiences, and I’m glad he opened up about them.

[Clare H · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing book. Every progressive Christian, every conservative Christian, every conscientious person trying to understand the plight of LGBTQIA+ people in faith settings needs to read this book. I highly advise getting the print copy, as you'll want to write stuff in the margins, and underline the heck out of this.

Kevin is a natural philosopher, a gifted communicator and a person whose life tells a story we really can't afford to look away from.

Go read it.

With a highlighter pen in hand.

[RT A · Rating 4 out of 5]

Once you start deconstructing Christianity, you are bound to hear or read Kevin Garcia. I am very thankful that I came across their work. Kevin’s words affirm the harm that bad theology inflicts on everyone, especially marginalized communities, yet Kevin also urges the reader to turn to love.
An editor would have helped with the errors and typos, yet part of the reason I so enjoyed this book was how clearly I could hear Kevin’s voice throughout the book. In that case, I am glad that Kevin self-published this book.

[Jenna Marthaller · Rating 5 out of 5]

This a great read for anyone that has experience with conservative religions, such as Evangelical Christianity. This book addresses the harm churches, and people in the church, can do and how important it is to remain critical and analytical - especially when it comes to Theology. This book is especially great for those who have a conservative religious background and identify as queer. Kevin Garcia shares their experience in a beautifully honest way.

[Briana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bad Theology Kills was challenging for me to read in all the ways possible because I felt as if I was reading my own story at times. Kevin did a great job at explaining their faith journey and how it broke them and yet healed them at the same time. Love is God and God is Love. I hope to one day finally experience the passionate Love that Kevin describes as I continue on my faith journey to create my own beliefs on God.

[Katrina Glaser · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow! What a way to shift my views on theology. I've grown up in the church and have had friends in the LGBTQ community, but I was always unsure of how those two could intertwine. Kevin Miguel Garcia articulates that struggle and the necessary progress so well. Yes, there are a few grammar errors, but nothing to get in the way of the message they have: we need to reevaluate what it looks like to have Christ at the center of everything.