10 Things I Can See from Here

by Carrie Mac

Perfect for fans of John Green's Turtles All the Way Down and Nina LaCour's We Are Okay, this is the poignant and uplifting story of Maeve, who is dealing with anxiety while falling in love with a girl who is not afraid of anything.

Think positive.
Don't worry; be happy.
Keep calm and carry on.

Maeve has heard it all before. She's been struggling with severe anxiety for a long time, and as much as she wishes it was something she could just talk herself out of, it's not. She constantly imagines the worst, composes obituaries in her head, and is always ready for things to fall apart. To add to her troubles, her mom--the only one who really gets what Maeve goes through--is leaving for six months, so Maeve will be sent to live with her dad in Vancouver.

Vancouver brings a slew of new worries, but Maeve finds brief moments of calm (as well as even more worries) with Salix, a local girl who doesn't seem to worry about anything. Between her dad's wavering sobriety, her very pregnant stepmom insisting on a home birth, and her bumbling courtship with Salix, this summer brings more catastrophes than even Maeve could have foreseen. Will she be able to navigate through all the chaos to be there for the people she loves?

An ALA Rainbow Book List selection
A Bank Street Best Book of the Year

"With Maeve, Mac delivers a character who's heartwarmingly real and sympathetic, and her story provides a much needed mirror for anxious queer girls everywhere."--Kirkus, Starred review

"This is a good companion book for other anxiety-riddled stories, such as The Shattering by Karen Healey, and Finding Audrey by Sophie Kinsella."--Booklist

"This hopeful offering will resonate with young people for their own lives, even if the journey is hard and takes time and patience...[a] compelling portrait of a teen's experiences with anxiety and challenging family dynamics."--SLJ

"Mac carefully makes clear that Maeve is plenty able to find joy other places than the perfect girl and that she's working at dealing with her own problems; the romance is therefore lovely and cozy and free from overtones of dependency. The descriptions of anxiety are true and powerful, and romance buffs will likely revel in a book celebrating deep connection."--The Bulletin

"Mac is good at showing how a dread-filled mind works... [An] affecting story.''--Publishers Weekly

Genres: Young Adult, LGBT, Contemporary, Mental Health, Romance, Queer, Fiction

336 pages, Paperback

First published February 28, 2017

About the author

Four-eyed bookworm, tattooed queer, storyteller nomad mama to two unschooled earthlings, based in East Van, overlooking the shipyard cranes and always ready for the next most amazing giant tiny little big wonderful something to capture my attention.

Or:

When Carrie Mac was born, her right eye gawked off in one direction while her left eye looked the other way. Well meaning adults thought she was a changeling and so they wrapped her up and put her on the porch for the fairies to take back, please and thank you. It was snowing. It was dark. No fairies came. The same well meaning adults decided she'd catch her death out there. So they brought her in and kept her after all.

She's read millions of books, and has sat happily at the feat of a legion of storytellers. She is equally fascinated by disaster and grace. car wrecks, hurricanes, plagues, and genocides on the one hand, small and stunning everyday miracles on the other. She sometimes wishes she were a pirate. She'd often wished she'd run away and joined the circus when she had the chance. She spends a great deal of time in the company of her imagination, and when she isn't, she's wide eyed and awed by this planet and the people running amok all over it.

Reviews

[Elle (ellexamines on TT & Substack) · Rating 2 out of 5]

Actual rating: 2.5 stars. I'm going to be honest - this was just an utterly forgettable read for me. I keep looking for great f/f romances and YA contemporary just... isn't... delivering.

That's not to say the book was terrible - there were a few good points here and there. First of all, Maeve's severe anxiety was never played for laughs, which is rarer than I'd like it to be. I adored the focus on healthy relationships in stepfamilies. As someone who lives with a stepfamily, I've really noticed that YA doe a crappy job portraying stepmoms and stepbrothers especially. Stepmothers are always evil, and stepbrothers are always romantic interests. Neither of these stereotypes hold remotely true in my family, thankfully. And they didn't hold up here either. And the romance, while totally using the manic pixie dream girl trope, was definitely sweet.

The problem is I didn't feel anything for the characters. In the midst of all the catastrophic events happening to the main character, I felt nothing. I closed the book saying “that was fine” rather than “OH MY GOD I'M CRYING???” I just didn't feel a single emotion this entire book. I read this book less than four months ago, and I remember barely anything about it, including character names.

Another issue is the use of the manic pixie dream girl trope. Salim doesn't even feel like a character - she feels like a perfect girl created to fix all of the protagonist's problems. Especially her anxiety. I'd like to say that the anxiety rep was great, but I really can't give that much credit when this narrative focused so much on her getting through it. I'm also going to be honest and say that I didn't connect with much within this narrative, despite having anxiety myself. However, Maeve's anxiety is far more severe than my own, and obviously every person has different experiences with anxiety.

Maybe this was just a me problem. Maybe some people will be able to connect with the characters on a more concrete level. But I couldn't. This felt like just another contemporary to me.

[Taylor · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really liked the writing style of this book and I definitely appreciate Maeve. I've never read a book where the main character has anxiety before and I thought it would be great to read about a character who has anxiety (I also have anxiety). But I actually had a hard time reading about Maeve's anxiety without becoming increasingly anxious myself. Maeve's anxiety is a little different from my own but she still made me anxious. It got a lot better as the book went on but it still hindered me from enjoying the book.
I do really appreciate the representation of anxiety in YA though. I think this book could help people who don't have anxiety to understand what it's like and see things in a new perspective.

[Alice-Elizabeth (Prolific Reader Alice) · Rating 4 out of 5]

T/W- Panic Attacks

As a book reviewer who has an Anxiety disorder, I could definitely see a lot of the main character Maeve in me. She is worried about lots of things such as driving (I don't want to learn to drive!) and her Mum travelling away meaning Maeve living with her Dad and his new wife. There were a few characters in this novel I really didn't like and their behaviour at times I found to be quite uncomfortable. What I loved however, was Maeve's stepmother as a character who was determined and looked after her sons and baby on the way well and the f/f romance. Maeve identifies herself as Queer and opens up about lost love and worried that she might let others down. I would see myself re-reading this one again soon!

[catherine ♡ · Rating 1 out of 5]

I wanted so much to love this book, but I just couldn't get into it. There were lots of characters that I felt remained underdeveloped, and the plot itself seemed like a brain dump of random events than a fleshed-out story. The main character was hard to connect with as well - I did like how anxiety was written, but I grew tired of hearing her narrative style, which also felt awkward and disconnected.

[Caroline · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wanted to like this book a lot more than I ended up liking it which is a bit of a shame. There were some really strong aspects of the story. I loved the f/f relationship, Salix was such an amazing love interest! The depiction of anxiety was also amazing (another pro is that Salix never 'fixed' Maeve's anxiety, instead helping her find coping mechanisms and stuff like that which was sweet and more realistic).

One of the main things I enjoyed seeing was a main character who had a positive relationship with her step-family! So often in books step-families are shown as a bad thing so it was really refreshing to see a family that was a little crazy but still got along.

I did enjoy this book. I thought the writing was okay (the portions where Maeve is feeling particularly anxious were more well-written than others). There were some negative aspects of the book as well though.

Certain aspects of the plot, such as the fathers alcoholism, were resolved way too quickly and without any real consequence. I also feel like we didn't see much of a relationship between Maeve and her mother which was a little disappointing. There were a lot of moments where I think the writing was a little bit of a let down, not packing the punch it should've.

Overall Salix is a dreamboat and I love her. The twins were cute but kind of annoying at times. The anxiety was well done so I would definitely still recommend this to people.

[Stacee · Rating 2 out of 5]

When I saw the comparison to Everything Everything, I was pretty much in, but I also really liked the premise. Sadly, I was mostly disappointed.

I wanted to love Maeve. I was eager to get into her head, but it was a struggle. All of the statistics about death and mental obituaries got a little rough to read. The rest of the characters were just okay. What should have been cute twin brothers, I saw them as annoying and bratty. Her dad is a drunk and a junkie, her mom is out of the country, and her step mom is busy being pregnant. Salix was intriguing, but still seemed to fall flat. And I don't even know what to say about Ruthie.

I did like some of the descriptions of anxiety. They felt realistic and easy to understand for anyone who has never experienced it.

Overall, I guess I just didn't connect. I did debate on DNFing, but I was hoping to see her progress. And by the end, it didn't feel like anything had changed.

**Huge thanks to Alfred A Knopf Books for Young Readers and NetGalley for providing the arc free of charge**

[rachel, x · Rating 4 out of 5]

10 Things I Can See From Here was a solid contemporary story about family, mental health and first relationships. The characters and their dynamics were definitely what made this book for me. Romances tend to be a hit or miss in these kinds of stories but Mac managed to balance Maeve and Salix’s blossoming relationship perfectly with the other elements of the story. It was never overpowering or unrealistic. It unfolded at a steady pace from simple attractions through several awkward, fumbling first dates until it hit that steady relationship stage. I absolutely adored seeing Maeve and Salix test our their dynamics and learn about each other throughout the story. I loved that there weren't any cases of miscommunication or unrealistic tragic backstories. It was a simple girl-meets-girl storyline that was incredibly sweet and lovely. It is just so nice to have another good f/f romance to ship!

The anxiety rep was also fantastic. I don’t have much more to say about it. It was done so well and with such a genuine voice that I would happily recommend it.

The characters were a tiny bit of a mixed bag but for the most part, fascinating. My biggest problem was definitely Maeve’s mother. We were told that she and Maeve were close but I never saw that in the story; not only did she jet off to Haiti with her unusual boyfriend but she did so when her daughter - who has severe anxiety - was not in a particularly good place. I did not like her very much at all.

Maeve’s step-family, on the other hand, was perfect. I could cry over how much I adored seeing Claire and Maeve’s relationship unfold. It was nice to have a supportive stepmother in the story. Yes, their relationship was far from perfect but they could lean on each other when they needed and grew so much closer as the story progressed. I don’t know what else I could ask for. Her stepbrothers were adorable. I loved them too much for words. I also really liked how Maeve’s relationship with her father was handled. Was he my favourite character of all time? Dear God, no. However, I felt like it was one of the most authentic 'alcoholic parent’ I have ever read. Their relationship was complex and messy. There were no right answers. They struggled, they fought, but they were family and worked through it and I loved, loved, loved that we got to see this common trope done differently and finally done well, in my opinion.

The one aspect of this book which let me down was the portrayal of sexual assault. I was so grateful that we touched upon it, especially how it raised the point that many assault cases with a female perpetrator go unreported, but it did feel a tad rushed. I wished that it had been given some more page time or played a larger role in the overall story.

Overall?

10 Things I Can See From Here was a solid contemporary story. The portrayal of anxiety and family were beyond fantastic. I really enjoyed the unique characters and complex relationships. The romance was adorable. It was realistic and fumblish first love that made me smile. I am so happy to have found a solid f/f romance to recommend! The writing and the plot were engaging. I liked almost every aspect of this story and will definitely be keeping an eye out for more books by this author.

Please be aware of trigger warnings before checking this one out for yourself because sexual assault, addiction relapses, and suicide are central themes.

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[Shannon Miz · Rating 3 out of 5]

You can find the full review and all the fancy and/or randomness that accompanies it at It Starts at Midnight
There were quite a few good things going on in this book, so I am going to start with those.

Maeve's anxiety, especially her intrusive thoughts, were so eerily accurate that I had to actually put the book down a few times. She was scared of so many things, but especially death, and since I have the same panic and anxiety surrounding death, I related to her so much. At one point, she starts researching things that could go wrong with her stepmother's pregnancy, and I had done this with my own pregnancies. Her anxiety mirrored my own so much that it was hard to read. But important, too.
I loved Maeve's stepmother and half brothers so much. In so many books, the stepmom is the villain, but in this one, she's the damn hero. There were a few times where Claire's decisions weren't the best, but she is only human too of course and had a lot to deal with. Maeve's relationships with them was hands down one of the best parts of the book.
I enjoyed Maeve's relationship with Salix. This wasn't a coming out book, Maeve was already out to her family, and she and Salix kept running into each other. It was really sweet, if a bit convenient. I liked that Maeve didn't just immediately be "cured" because she wanted to be with Salix; she ends up nearly messing things up a lot, which I think is quite an accurate portrayal. I do wish I had connected with Salix a bit more, but I suppose it was really Maeve's story.

What I did not love as much:

Maeve's biological parents were absolute disasters. So Maeve's mom had seemed okay. They had a really close relationship, and I was all for that. But then she was going to head off to Haiti with some old guy she barely knew? While Maeve was not doing well at all? And send her to live with her alcoholic/drug addicted dad and pregnant stepmom? What? Who does that? The dad was such a jerk. I get that he had demons of his own, but wow, he was awful. I have at least ten sticky flags that say nothing but "ASSHOLE" on them, in relation to Maeve's dad. Not only is he 100% NOT there for Maeve, he also straight up neglects his pregnant wife and twin six year old sons.
Speaking of awful parental decisions, Mom and Dad of the Year wouldn't let Maeve take any kind of prescription medication for her anxiety. There was no real reason given for this, other than ignorance. The worst part in my opinion was that this was never fully fleshed out. It could have been used as a learning tool (i.e., Mom and Dad talked to a doctor who explained why medication can help in these situations) and turned into a positive, but instead it was just brushed off. Like Maeve was just some whiny kid who wanted meds, but in truth, she absolutely could have benefited from them, or at the very least, a discussion about them with someone with a medical degree.
While I don't think Maeve's relationship with Salix was a complete instance of the "savior" thing, Maeve did seem to dare to do many more things with Salix than she would have before. And considering the pressure she was under with her parents, being there for Claire and the boys, and starting a relationship that she was nervous about, this response just didn't seem... authentic.

Bottom Line: This book did have a pretty decent representation of Maeve's anxiety, and I loved that Maeve had some good supports. There were a few things that could have been fleshed out a bit more to make it a stronger message overall.

[Kelly Gunderman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Check out this and other reviews on my young adult book blog, Here's to Happy Endings!

***Actual Rating - 4.5 stars***

As someone who has suffered from severe anxiety and panic disorders since I was young, I was really excited to pick up this book, because it features a main character who pretty much worries about everything all the time, and her anxiety pretty much takes over her life. Because of this, I really thought this was going to be a book that I would be able to relate to completely.

Boy, was I ever right about that.

Reading this book was like reading through a journal of my own thoughts over the past fifteen years - at some point, I've felt almost all of these emotions and panicked about so many of the same things - things as simple as meeting a new person or walking down the street by myself. I loved Maeve's character, and I can't remember the last time I was able to relate to a character on such a deep and personal level, but I had that ability with Maeve in 10 Things I Can See From Here. Sure, I didn't exactly have a step-mother who opted for home births or two twin brothers to look after, but I have my own children so I definitely do my fair share of worrying. About everything. Everything.

While most books that deal with anxiety might touch on it and make a great story from it, this is probably the most raw, detailed case of it that I've read about in a YA book (and I've read a lot of them). It was actually painful to read in spots, because yes, this is real life for some people, and there was no sugarcoating anything here.

Maeve has been dealing with severe anxiety for years, and her parents have decided not to let her take medication for it, because her mother believes that her brain has not finished developing, and that maybe somewhere down the line she will be able to overcome it on her own. So she is forced to deal with constant worrying thoughts, from the time she wakes up in the morning until the time she goes to bed at night - thoughts that most people don't spend agonizing moments thinking about - like how many people die in the country every year from car accidents, or all of the horrible things that can happen simply by getting on the ferry by herself.

Living with her mother most of the year, and only seeing her father and step-mother (and two adorable yet annoying twin brothers) on planned occasions, since they live across the border in Canada. So when Maeve's mom announces that she is going to Haiti to work in a vaccination with her (old) boyfriend Raymond, Maeve isn't too thrilled to be going to spend time with her dad and step-mother. Sure, it wouldn't be so bad if it were only for a while - but this is for six months, and no one understands her quite like her mother. Her father makes jokes about her anxiety (when he's clean and sober), and her step-mother Claire, while meaning well, doesn't seem to get it at all. And then there's the fact that Claire is expecting another baby, and after the home birth she had with the twins that Maeve was present for, she isn't exactly looking forward to going through with it again.

Over the summer, Maeve is forced to deal with all kinds of things she would rather avoid by spending the summer in her cottage in the woods with her mother, but since her mother left her with her dad, it just gives Maeve more to worry about - such as plane crashes, Cholera, and her mother and Raymond getting serious about each other.

While Maeve is staying with her dad, things start to fall apart around her. Claire and her father are always fighting, her twin brothers are pretty much determined to do whatever they want, Maeve has to deal with the death of someone she was close to, and her father starts drinking again, causing tension with them all.

The only bright side of the entire time she is with her father in Canada is the fact that she has met a girl - a girl whom she develops feelings for quickly, after seeing her around so often and finally being able to speak to her. But even that ends up getting touched by Maeve's anxiety - she runs away from her on their first date. How can Maeve deal with her anxiety long enough to let something good happen to her?

I read through this book in one night, and loved every single page. Maeve was such a real character - from the fake obituaries that she wrote in her head every time she saw something bad happening, to the feelings she had for Salix when the two of them started to talking, to the horrible pain she felt surrounding her father's lapse in sobriety. So many parts of this book are things that teenagers have to face every day, coupled with crippling anxiety that makes daily life almost impossible to handle. This is in no way an easy book to read - some parts made me cringe, others made me cry, while yet others made me laugh, nodding along because I had felt so many of those same emotions, worried so many of the same worries. It was emotional. It was painful. It was honest. It was beautiful.

Maeve and Salix had such a connection from the very first time that Maeve saw her in the parking lot while waiting for her father to pick her up. I loved watching the progress of their relationship from the first time they met through the end of the book, seeing how things changed for the two of them. They're relationship felt real, and not at all forced.

Watching Maeve's father fall back into this life of drug and alcohol abuse was also difficult. It's easy to see what an impact that it has on their family - and how it destroyed the relationship that he had with Maeve's mother so many years ago. At the same time, I loved seeing that the two families were able to accept each other - Maeve's mother didn't have any hard feelings toward Claire, and the same went for Claire's feelings toward Maeve's mother. There's so much family interaction in this book, and it made it so much more of a pleasure to read.

This is a deep novel full of things that can make or break a person, and what it feels like to deal with it all while suffering from anxiety.

Note:I received an eARC of this book from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

[kory. · Rating 1 out of 5]

trigger/content warnings; ableism, fatphobia, sexual assault, queerphobia, biphobia, lesbophobia, lesbophobic slurs, gendered slurs, misogyny, slut shaming, alcohol consumption, child abuse, addiction, pregnancy, anxiety, anxiety/panic attacks,

rep; maeve (mc) is a lesbian and has anxiety. salix (li) is queer. ruthie (sc) is queer. claire (sc) is bisexual.

okay, i don’t really have anything positive to say about this book. honestly, i wanted to call it quits before i even made it halfway through. but since i have a need to finish books, i carried on.

here’s some things i didn’t like:

maeve’s constant death statistics, stories of tragic and gruesome deaths, and made up obituaries got old after the first time.

there’s a lot of ableist language and ideas for a book with a heavy mental illness presence.

maeve’s father is the worst. he’s an abusive addict, and he’s also just an asshole. he slapped maeve, he hurt corbin when play wrestling and refused to admit it and apologize, he made owen cry by implying that he was weak and cried too much, he told maeve that the painting of her and him that was one of maeve’s best memories wasn’t even a real memory, he laughed when maeve came out to him and said he likes girls too and winked. gross!!

maeve’s parents denying her medication for her anxiety disorder because she isn’t legally an adult and she “might grow out of it” was just ridiculous. as maeve points out, when you’re physically injured or ill, parents don’t deny kids treatment or medication, so it shouldn’t be any different with mental illness.

maeve claims that ruthie is her best friend, but is she really? i mean, the way maeve talks about ruthie is awful. she was always insulting her appearance and she even calls her a “gigantic ogre.” who does that? and then when ruthie comes out to maeve, maeve pretends to not hear her, because she doesn’t want to have to deal with ruthie’s sexuality on top of dealing with own. fucking awful.

i really hated when three random little boys throw six different homophobic slurs at maeve and salix. it was just entirely unnecessary, it added nothing to the story and had zero affect on anything. not every story with queer characters needs queerphobia.

salix says that everyone worries, it isn’t just maeve. and that’s as ignorant as telling someone with depression that “everyone gets sad,” and then maeve fucking says she’s right and apologizes?? like? what the fuck?? don’t apologize for having anxiety you can’t control and tell someone who simplifies an anxiety disorder to everyday worrying and nerves that they’re right. ugh.

maeve slut shames the women her father fools around with and that annoyed me.

maeve’s grandmother, stepmother, and father push and push and push her to drive, even though she clearly does not want to and is not comfortable with the idea of driving. encouragement is one thing, trying to force someone with anxiety to do something that gives them anxiety or is out of their comfort zone, because you think they should be doing things differently or “getting over their fears” at a faster pace is fucked up. don’t do it. ever. it isn’t your place. let them go at their own pace. let them decide if in that moment they want to face or avoid something that gives them anxiety.

something happened between maeve and ruthie and it’s repeatedly mentioned vaguely, but never explained until the end of the book and i hate that. i hate when an event or something keeps being brought up over and over, but we have to wait so long to actually find out what happened. it isn’t creating suspense, it’s just annoying.

there’s some biphobia. claire says that she had a girlfriend in college and maeve dismisses it by saying a one girl crush in college doesn’t make you gay. claire says she never claimed to be gay, and that if she was to be labeled then she’d technically be bisexual. maeve says, “being queer was also about not being into boys. just as it was about attraction, it was also about an absence of attraction, like white space. there wouldn’t be white space if i liked both.” and that’s super shitty and erasure. fuck that. queer girls don’t have to not be into boys to be queer. there doesn’t have to be a “white space” to be queer. “liking both” doesn’t mean you aren’t queer. queer girls don’t even have to be into girls to be queer. there’s such a wide spectrum, it isn’t black and white like that. that line was just very careless and offensive.

i honestly can’t even think of one thing that stood out to me in a good way. so yeah, that’s it.

[Alexis · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is hard for me to rate. I didn't love it or loathe it, but I also feel like there wasn't anything memorable or enjoyable about it.

The two main things about this book I liked were that Salix was never presented as a love interest who was trying to "cure" Maeve's anxiety and that Maeve's sexuality in this book was really casual. There was no major coming out plotline. Maeve just was queer without any pomp and circumstance. I liked that.

However I also had a lot of things about this book that I just didn't enjoy. The first being that aside from the step-mother Claire, I really couldn't care about any of the characters. I should have liked Maeve. We both have anxiety, we both have complicated families, we're both queer. But for the majority of the book I just wanted her to stop talking. I wanted to read about someone else. I just had no connection to her or any interest in her life. I was also personally very offended when she insisted that being bisexual means that you aren't queer, something she says when her step-mother admits to being bisexual (I'm pansexual which is a sexuality that already doesn't exist on people's radar so I didn't enjoy bisexuality being erased like that.) That was probably when I decided that I didn't care about Maeve at all.

Reading this book also made me so anxious. Maeve constantly spouts out death and tragedy and disaster statistics. I studied public health in school which means I am no stranger to all the sad and horrible things that happen in this world, but public health is meant to be optimistic. In public health, we're studying to try and change these statistics. From Maeve, these statistics were depressing and overwhelming. My anxiety presents itself a lot in a form of paranoia (though it was mostly bad when I was younger.) This book made me anxious to get in my car, to walk to my door at night, to light candles. I felt like I was constantly trying to control a panic attack reading from Maeve's point of view. And maybe that was Mac's point, but it just made the book awful to read.

I also just feel like some of the chapters were so unnecessary and unpleasant for me personally. There were of course all of the talk of death statistics, but there were also chapters where the main character talks about her step-mother giving birth in graphic detail. I've never had kids and I don't particularly want them so reading this chapters, for me personally, was really gross. I wanted to skip them all together. There was also a chapter where she describes seeing her mom's boyfriend's "shriveled penis" which was also nauseating to read. I just wish that some of the content in this book had just been left out.

I had been really excited when I'd first gotten this book, but it ended up just being a major let down for me personally.


I received an ARC of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Morris · Rating 4 out of 5]

“10 Things I Can See From Here” is one of the best books that I have read about anxiety disorder.

The way the story is written does an excellent job of showing the stream of consciousness that happens when something triggers anxiety. At times I was feeling the anxiety creeping in to my own head. The novel is by no means a one-trick pony, either. The issues of coming out, gay bashing, familial drug abuse, divorce, step-family dynamics, and first love are tackled head-on. All of the characters are developed, and for the most part, likable.

I can’t stress this enough: My favorite part is that it did not follow the false trope of mental health issues being solved by meeting the right person. Salix helps Maeve, but she is not a miracle cure. Only Maeve’s dad can kick his drug habit, no matter how hard his family tries to help. Good lessons, in my opinion.

I recommend “10 Things I Can See From Here” for anyone looking for books about anxiety or a wonderful lgbt romance. Yay for diverse books!

This unbiased review is based upon a complimentary copy provided by the publisher.

[Delaney (flairforfiction) · Rating 1 out of 5]

I really disliked this book which was disappointing because the premise sounded good and the introductory letter from the editor in my copy left me with some positive expectations. I was thoroughly let down.

For starters, I couldn't stand the main character. I feel bad because I know she has anxiety and I can't tell if my dislike of her is because of that or just because I found her to unlikable. She would look up facts about the number of people who died doing certain things (ex: taking trains, driving cars, swimming in the ocean, etc) which she used as a way to sort of cope with her anxiety in a way? But then she would annoy people about all these facts she knew about this stuff until they got mad at her. And I feel like I would hate to spend time with someone like that in real life so I couldn't blame them. She also would constantly make up eulogies for herself when she was in certain scenarios and they weren't funny or cute or anything; they were just morbid.

I also found that the love interest was sort of bland. She didn't have much of a personality and nothing that really stood out to me to make me like her. And I didn't care much for their romance either which is sad because I want to find more lovely wlw romances in YA. This was not it. I found their interactions to be awkward, especially their intimate/sex scenes. It didn't come across as romantic or touching or anything. I just felt awkward and weird reading it.

The only character I liked was Maeve's stepmom. She was super sweet and you could tell she really loved all her kids (including her stepdaughter) and I just found her to be the only enjoyable and genuine character in the book.

This book was really depressing and I just didn't like basically anything that happened.

Also, Maeve's parents should seriously question the fact that they don't want Maeve to take medication. She needs it. Badly.

Thank you to Penguin Random House and First in Line for the arc of this book.

Content warnings: anxiety, sexual assault, drug and alcohol abuse, death, graphic birthing scene, sexual situations

[Olivia (Stories For Coffee)]

This book was so great to read and what really made this story was the quirky and imperfect family of Maeve’s as well as Salix, the love interest. The family played such a large role in the story, an aspect that I love to see in YA literature, and it also showed how families are flawed and can still be loving and supportive. Maeve’s relationship with Salix, as well, was so cute and heartwarming to read. Their relationship and sexualities weren’t hidden away from others which I adored because Maeve’s parents were supportive of her relationship with Salix who helped Maeve grow as a person and learn to deal with her anxiety. While there were a few characters who said homophobic things to both Maeve and Salix, it was denounced and shown that those characters weren’t educated or as accepting as the positive people in Maeve’s life. Their relationship played such a large role in the story, and I only wished that we saw more of it play out in front of the reader.

I also thought that the various issues that were brought up in the beginning of the story, like Maeve’s issues with her mother and father weren’t wrapped up as nicely as I had hoped. It felt as though the problems were forgotten and were never given the development they needed in order to see somewhat a solution to the issues that were addressed. The ending of this book should have been stretched out more, but overall, I enjoyed all I had to offer with the relationships that were created in this story.

As someone who is dealing with anxiety, reading this book wasn’t the most enjoyable experience for me. It triggered emotions that I normally don’t normally feel while reading a novel. Because this touches upon mental illness, it felt too much for me in a way. The anxiety that Maeve felt came off the pages for me and made me feel panicky majority of the time I was reading this story. That is why I refrained from giving it a star rating because my emotions were running wild while reading this book and I didn’t want that factor to lessen my star rating.

While this book has the potential to teach those who don’t suffer from anxiety about one person’s experience with it, I would not recommend it to someone who deals with anxiety who get triggered by reading other people’s experiences.

[Allison · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ah this was such a DELIGHT, and at turns heartbreaking, adorable, and uproariously funny. It's a quick read, but I spent HOURS looking up the morbid things Maeve is obsessed with and anxious about, so I was thankfully able to really take my time and enjoy this.

This is a 2017 release, so I'll leave it at that for now and write a longer review later!

Thanks so much to Knopf for the review copy!

[Maddy Mitchell · Rating 4 out of 5]

cute!!!

[Megan (thebookishtwins) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received this free from the publishers via NetGalley

Maeve struggles with severe anxiety. She can’t help but worry about everyone and everything, which can often be debilitating. When her Mum decides to take a 6 month trip to Haiti, Maeve gets sent to live with her Father, a recovering addict struggling with sobriety, and her pregnant step-mum in Vancouver. However, her move to Vancouver brings a new slew of worries which Maeve struggles to control. She meets Salix, a cute violinist, and a romance begins. However, her anxiety makes navigating her relationship and her life hard, and unforeseen events happen that starts to test her limits.

10 Things I Can See From Here was a fantastic portrayal of anxiety, with the added elements of a f/f romance. Maeve’s anxiety is largely focused on death. She creates obituaries in her head and memorises death statistics as a coping mechanism. When her Mum doesn’t text back, she thinks of the worst-case scenario. My anxiety isn’t as severe as Maeve’s, but I could really relate and I totally understood the intrusive thoughts that come hand in hand with anxiety.

The opening was FANTASTIC. I loved the little list at the beginning titled ‘Stupid Things People Say’, such as ‘You are not your anxiety’, ‘Don’t exaggerate’, ‘Keep calm and carry on’, ‘What is there to worry about?’, ‘Just put it out of your mind’, ‘Why get upset about something so small’, and many other things. Anyone with anxiety has heard these MANY times, often from people close to us.

10 Things I Can See From Here is a very character-driven novel – Maeve is at the centre of this story. So if that isn’t your thing, I’d steer clear of this. I liked Maeve, she felt familiar and authentic. I’ve seen a lot of negative reviews which state that they disliked Maeve largely due to her anxiety. Stating that her anxiety is unbelievable and annoying and that Maeve is selfish and obnoxious because of her anxiety, which I think is highly disheartening – especially in a book with such realistic portrayal of anxiety.

I liked that Maeve had a supportive family. I loved her relationship with her step mum. It was a very positive one which I think is unusual in YA – her conflict with her family was with her father who is a recovering addict that is struggling to stay sober. I’d have loved to see more of her relationship with her mum, but she was absent for the whole book, but I got a sense that the relationship was really supportive, so I’d have loved to have seen it.

I really liked her relationship with Salix. It was slightly insta-love – more like insta-attraction – but there was some really good development and it was super cute. I also really loved Maeve’s description of her attraction to girls:

“Being queer was also about not being into boys. Just as it was about attraction, it was also about an absence of attraction, like white space. Girls shimmered, as if all the light shone on them and not on the boys at all. Boys were hardly there, just shadows and background noise. I liked how girls talked, and moved, the way they smiled, or tucked their hair behind an ear…the lines of their arms and the curves of their bodies.”

Another positive of the romance was that it didn’t ‘cure’ her of her anxiety. In fact, nothing really changed with her anxiety, which I liked because we all have our own coping mechanisms (as did Maeve), but anxiety never goes away.

While I really connected with Maeve, I do feel like the secondary characters and story itself could have been fleshed out a bit more, as it was very character driven rather than plot driven. I’d have also liked to see some closure at the end, especially regarding her father and his sobriety.

While I thought the representation of anxiety was realistic and authentic, I want to warn readers that because Maeve suffers from severe anxiety and a lot of intrusive thoughts, if you suffer from anxiety yourself it may be a bit difficult to read and may trigger your own anxiety. Other than that – I’d definitely recommend.

[gaby · Rating 3 out of 5]

What's ironic about this book, is that the cover is flashy as hell. Like annoying flashy. Like I can see this book on my bookshelf in the dark flashy. The actual content of the book however, is just... bleh. Everything felt so meh and mediocre. I felt no emotion or connection to this book at all. I trudged along throughout this book, with no resounding hate towards the book, but honestly, I had no resounding emotion(positive or not) to this book in general.

I didn't feel anything for any of the characters.. In the midst of the catastrophic events of the novel, I didn't feel sympathy or emotion towards what was going on to them. I felt honestly rather indifferent. It also made the anxiety narrative harder to feel authentic and human when Maeve would be having intrusive thoughts and worries about something that I felt rather unfazed about. Everyone's anxiety is different, but I found Maeve's rather hard to relate to, and I usually find "relatability" a big factor of how much I enjoy books focusing on mental illness. I have read reviews where people find the representation eerily similar to their own struggles so I'm happy other people have enjoyed this book for its rep! But unfortunately, not me.

The one resounding positive from this book was its focus on stepfamilies in a positive light. So many books have an "evil stepmother and step-siblings" type thing going on, and I'm really glad this book doesn't feed into those stereotypes. Maeve's familial relationships were one of the few things I felt was truly fleshed out in this novel, and I really enjoyed reading about her interactions with her family members (well not her biological parents because they kinda sucked but whatever)


(brownie points for canada bc I love canada-- this book was set in vancouver !!)

Bottom line, maybe my lack of enjoyment was simply a me problem? I'm a judgmental, apathetic bitch what's new?

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

My first read for Mental Health Book Bingo is complete!
I'll update with a proper review when I get time but here are my current thoughts!
Really enjoyed it! LOVED the f/f romance, it was really well written and there's discussion of stuff that's not often really written about and I loved that! Some of the anxiety stuff was not quite as good as I would have liked but I also think it was well explained and that I often set my expectations super duper high for this sort of thing so that probably doesn't help! It definitely wasn't mis-representing it anyway!
Basically, it's good fun, has a perfect mix of like hella drama but good stuff at the same time and Maeve shows a lot of growth throughout the book which I loved :)

[Nicka Cassandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

TRIGGER WARNING!! ANXIETY AND PANIC ATTACKS!!!

Fair warning for everyone who experiences anxiety and panic attacks I wouldn’t recommend you reading this book because this book has ANXIETY written all over it! I too somehow got a little bit triggered but I managed to get through it! This book is definitely not for everyone to read. But it’s not a reason for me to hold back from reading it!

Let’s talk about why I loved this book so much!

This book is a great mental illness representation when it comes to anxiety/panic attacks! Maeve is suffering from severe anxiety, as you progress through the story you can see how she feels every time. Though the book can be triggering to some especially to those who have anxiety. Nevertheless it made me realize what a person who suffers from it really feels. It’s hard for them to focus on things that are real at times. They tend to be lost in the world of overthinking situations. This book tackles problems like drugs, alcohol addiction, sexual assault, mental illness etc.

The characters are everything to me! The family dynamic in this book is everything! The events happening felt so real like it’s an actual representation of every living person. The way the author has written this book is pure perfection and a great channel to readers to understand people who struggles with anxiety or any mental illness. I love the female to female relationship going on with Maeve and Salix! Salix’s character is one of the best, I love how she was cool with everything, she always lends an ear to Maeve! Claire, Maeve’s very pregnant step-mom is the step-mom you want to have, I liked her character a lot and also Owen AHHH he’s the cutest. I just want him to be real and be my real baby brother! The only characters I didn’t like in this book was her parents though I learned to appreciate her dad’s character in the end.

The way the author acknowledged sexual assault in this book is what I loved! Whatever sexuality you have you are not excused from doing bad things to other people. SEXUAL ASSAULT IS SEXUAL ASSAULT! Gender doesn’t limit you from being a victim of such things. If you’re experiencing these kinds of acts don’t be afraid to speak up, I know there will always be those people who will wholeheartedly listen to you!

I need to point out the very important thing in this book! Mental illness can’t be cured by love. Maeve and Salix’s relationship was sweet and cute though it was kinda instalovey. Salix had a great effect towards Maeve’s health. She would comfort her in times when she needed her the most. Salix was there for her! At the end of the book you can see how much change happened to Maeve but she wan’t magically cured. She still had anxiety but now she learned how not to get her fears swallow her up. She was surrounded by the people that she loves the most, her family and friends. She also appreciated herself for doing the things at first she thought was going to be a disaster. I may not know how a certain person with severe anxiety feels but this book gave me a whole new perspective about it!

[Aims · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received an e-ARC of this book via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

Maeve has severe generalized anxiety disorder, which basically means that she worries excessively about everything. Her mother doesn’t believe in medication for her anxiety until Maeve hits eighteen, so Maeve can’t get the help that she knows she needs. She’s found a way to keep her panic attacks in check, but even then, her day-to-day life is affected by her anxiety. Things get worse when Maeve’s mom goes away to Haiti for six months, leaving Maeve to spend her summer with her father in Vancouver. Her dad’s a recovering alcoholic, and her relationship with him isn’t the best, but no way is her mom leaving Maeve alone at home for six months. While there, Maeve meets Salix, a carefree, laid-back girl who plays the violin and has big dreams- the two bond immediately, and maybe the summer won’t be as bad as Maeve had thought.

Contemporaries often bother me – not to generalize them or anything, but I tend to be more critical towards contemporaries, perhaps because it’s easier to see myself in them. If a contemporary is not well-rounded, meaning that if it focuses too much on one thing instead of several aspects of a person’s life, chances are that I won’t like it. The fact that I enjoyed 10 Things I Can See From Here is testament to the fact that it is extremely well-rounded and balanced, giving the right amount of weight to Maeve’s dynamic with her stepmother and her half-brothers, her mother and father, her budding romance with Salix, her relationship with her ex-bestfriend, and her dealing with her own anxiety. Each and every subplot was done justice, and that’s what makes this contemporary stand out.

Maeve’s relationship with her father is, in my opinion, the main focus of the story rather than the romance. She’s such a sensitive person, who feels everything twice as much as the people around her, something that often works against her – but she can’t help it. Her longing to connect with her father when she’s going through an exceptionally rough patch, her willingness to give him chance after chance because she loves him so much and just wants things to get better – the entire dynamic was realistic, and it was heartbreaking, and it was important because it sheds light on children of parents who abuse substances.

The second thing that struck me was the way Maeve’s anxiety was presented- almost like a character, in and of itself. Mac weaves the anxiety into the very narration, into her own writing style and technique. She spends careful time on getting the reader inside Maeve’s head, so much so that you begin to feel the worry pulsating inside your own body. Which is not to say that you can ever feel the experiences of people who have GAD, but you get some awareness. From negative reviews, I’ve seen that the colorful, often very graphic depictions of death and accidents, and the excessive worry became tiresome and dull for some people- I guess that’s a valid critique, but I can counter it by saying that repetition was the point. GAD is not comfortable. It’s not something you can switch off when you feel it getting repetitive and tiresome; it’s persistent, it’s debilitating, and I think the way it’s presented here is very important. Moreover, I saw some critique saying that Maeve was an unlikable protagonist. She does make some decisions that I doubt, some off-hand comments about her ex-bestfriend that made me flinch, but the critique I’ve seen relates to how she “annoys” other characters. Again, I think Mac did such a wonderful job of showing how anxiety doesn’t only affect the person who has it, but the people around said person too. It’s unfair to say that Maeve was unlikable just because she behaved in a way that anxiety made her behave.

The romance between Maeve and Salix was very cute; it was healthy, it developed well, and even though I had issues with how they kept bumping into each other (I dislike tropes that play on fate), I really enjoyed their dynamic. I loved that Salix understood Maeve’s anxiety and helped however she could, and the trope of “love-cured-my-illness” was banished out-of-sight.

I had a few issues too, mainly with the lack of closure surrounding some of the storylines. I wanted to see more of Maeve and her mother’s relationship, especially because she plays an incredibly important role in Maeve’s life. I wanted to see flashbacks, or some interaction outside of e-mails, texts and phone calls. I also felt that the story would have benefited had an epilogue been added to the end, something that showed us what Maeve’s life is like after she has to go back home. There could easily be a sequel to this, because I feel like I need to know more about Maeve and Salix, the resolution with the family issues, with the need to see Maeve get the help that she needs with her anxiety. A sequel would be great.

Ultimately, 10 Things I Can See From Here is a beautifully written summer-contemporary that is perfect for fans of Morgan Matson, Stephanie Perkins and Rainbow Rowell. If you’re looking for something well-rounded that’s not too heavy, but also focuses on important themes, pick this one up.

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[Kaitie · Rating 4 out of 5]

It took me a while to get into this book but I must say that it got me. This is a story that is very relateable I feel. I feel so bad for Maeve because she is shipped to her father's house to live with him for 6 months but her father is a pile of trash.

I definitely feel like she has a little bit of anxiety but I just couldn't help but feel like she was more OCD. She reminded me A LOT of Aza from Turtles All the Way Down by John Green. Listening to her constantly freak out was a whirlwind holy crap.

All in all I liked this book I liked the ending and now I have a little trick to use when I am feeling anxious! (:

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

Why did I only hear about this book through my library?? Oh my gosh it was absolutely brilliant! I loved the writing and each of the characters from the very beginning! This was a well thought out coming of age and coming out novel that I feel is severely under rated. I will read anything else this author comes out with. However, I do believe that it needs a trigger warning for sexual assault.

[Dove · Rating 5 out of 5]

I LOVE WHEN THERE'S A PART OF THE BOOK THAT BASICALLY QUOTES THE TITLE AND EXPLAINS THE TITLE AND THEN THE TITLE MAKES SENSE. WHICH IS THIS BOOK. IT DID THAT. IT DID MY FAVOURITE THING!!! THE LAST CHAPTER LITERALLY QUOTES THE TITLE. THE TITLE IS LIKE THIS THING THAT THE TWO GIRLS DO TOGETHER TO BOND. AND IT'S SO CUTE. IM GOING TO START DOING THAT WHENEVER IM WITH MY FRIENDS ANYWHERE INTERESTING. YOU JUST LIST 10 THINGS YOU CAN SEE FROM WHEREVER YOU ARE TO MAKE IT MORE MEMORABLE. Ok enough yelling. But clearly, you can see I loved this book. I started reading this book yesterday and I literally could not stop. I was addicted. It was just such a good book. I finished it in one day, in two sittings. It was so cute. And unique. It's about this girl who suffers from major anxiety and she's always overthinking and she thinks about the worst possible scenario which makes her anxious all the time and she has difficulty doing the littlest of things. Ontop of that, her life isn't simple because her dad is struggling with sobriety, her mother moved to Haiti for work, so she lives with her pregnant stepmom who insists on a home birth and her two half brothers who are twins. Also, she's a lesbian. And although her family is pretty accepting, she finds it difficult to find love because of her anxiety. She overthinks and when some of the worst case scenarios start coming true, her anxiety spikes more. She's struggling with all these problems and this book really gives insight on living with anxiety and living as a lesbian. It's super interesting. Like these are both perspectives you don't read a lot about, and the combination is beautiful. It makes it super unique and it makes you want to keep reading to see how differently she perceives life and it's interesting to see her reactions to daily scenarios and how she overcomes problems. I was so happy when she met Salix and fell in love because they were opposites and i love when opposites attract and they really brought out the best in each other. And near the end when her dad was doing drugs and she had no choice but to be brave and confront him which helped her overcome her anxiety. Also when her stepmom had an early pregnancy and she had to help deliver the child. Like it was all so interesting and everything came apart at the same time and each event helped strengthen her character. I love reading about mental illnesses and the LGBTQ+ community, which made me love this book. I highly recommend this book to everyone because I think it's super interesting to read books from these perspectives to open and broaden your mind. I especially like the part when she brought up the fact that in health class they only educate you about straight relationships, which makes it harder for LGBTQ people because they don't know how they are supposed to behave or how exactly it works. They are kinda left to fend for themselves, which isn't cool. I don't know, this book just got me thinking and I really liked it.

[Ari]

i largely liked this book, which is about a sixteen-year-old girl with anxiety trying to deal with it, but a few minor things soured me on a lot of it....

there's an old best friend character who we only ever see in flashback, who's Awkward and Nerdy and who we (spoilers) find out late in the game forced a kiss on the main character, which is what led to their falling-out. and the way this best friend is described is not only as awkward, but as fat in these phrases that just made me, A Fat Person, feel like garbage. this character has hands the narrator describes as beefy (the specific context here is, she can build tiny delicate mechanical things, in contrast to.....). as a person who doesn't walk but lumbers. she's big, gigantic, broad-shouldered. she sits shotgun in the car and here's the narrator explaining why:

"It wasn't that she was fat -- not at all -- but she couldn't pull herself together to fit into anything. Clothes, groups, backseats. Ruthie always seemed to spill over."

like............ that sucked to read! and there's never any kind of resolution like, oh, the narrator is decribing her like this because she's so uncomfortable with ruthie forcing herself on her, or the narrator changing her language. another character in the flashbacks throws a piece of popcorn into ruthie's mouth because she was staring, and ruthie gags, and the narrator never thinks, oh yeah, that's a garbage thing to do to someone who is supposed to be your friend. the narrator, and narrative, is unkind to her, because of her body; she's a disposable lesson for the main character and for the reader. and, like, yes, she is a good example for teen readers on How To Not Approach Your Crush, but that's...... overshadowed by how the writing treats everything else about her body as wrong. (i mean, i haven't been a fat teen for years now, and it was hard for me to read; how much more so for the current fat teens who will read this?)

the other thing that stood out to me is that the main character isn't allowed to have anxiety meds till she's an adult (???!!!!!) because her parents are worried it will affect her development (!!!!!!), and the main character very vocally wishes for medication, but that's never returned to or resolved, and she finds some inner strength without them, which is great for her, but also, please let this teen get the help she needs, all the adults in her life get mad at her for her worry and treat it like a character defect instead of her brain chemistry eating her alive, please just let this poor kid try some celexa, oh my god, thank you, Bye

[Anna (Adventures with a Book Nerd) · Rating 2 out of 5]

Guys, I really wanted to like this book. I really did. But I guess that my expectations were just too high. This was a book that sounded so good on NetGalley, and I didn't actually think that I was going to be approved. So I was super excited when I was! Then I read the book and went f**k, now I have to write a negative review.

In this book we follow Maeve as she is forced to live with her father while her mom is off saving lives with her new boyfriend. Well, you could say that Maeve is less than thrilled about the move. But in Vancouver, Maeve is reunited with her brothers, and even meets Salix. Maybe this won't be as bad as she thinks that it will be.

My biggest problem with this book was it's writing. Sure, there were some sweet and important parts, but most of the book was just a bunch of mind gunk. The book is told from the first person POV of Maeve, and at first I really liked it! But it got really old, really fast. I found that the book read like a poorly written diary with just a bunch of emotions splattered on the pages. It just doesn't make a good book.

Along with the writing, the plot was also all over the place. It felt like there were three separate plots that were going on at the same time, but they never really mixed or met at the end. It was difficult to keep track of all of the plots, and trying to decipher them from the even more confusing writing.

My favorite part of this book had to be the relationship between Salix and Maeve. It was really sweet to watch their romance progress throughout the book. Also, I loved how Salix didn't try to cure Maeve. She accepted her for who she was, and I loved watching them help each other.

So overall this was an okay book. While the romance was sweet, the confusing plot and writing often took my attention away from the main focuses of the book.

I received a copy of this book from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions in this review are my own.

[bee 🍉 · Rating 4 out of 5]

“You can say that you’re sorry. You can say that you’re going to stop. You can say that you’re going to get help. That’s what the hell you can say.”

I read this book a few months ago and I’m only just getting around to writing a review now but I first of all just wanted to say how special this book truly is.

One of the worsts things in this world is having to witness someone you love struggling with addiction or alcoholism.

Maeve was a character that I really saw myself in. I understood her anxiety. I understood her anger.

Her brothers and their silly antics made me giggle out loud multiple times. I truly just loved every single one of these characters and the story that came with them.

The fact that this book was also wlw on top of everything just made it just that much better. This book truly holds a special place in my heart.

[Rebecca · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading this book was not the experience I expected it to be. The main character is gay but the story isn't about being gay. Her family has issues but the story isn't about dealing with familial troubles. This amazing novel is about what it's like to have fears and worries crowding your mind and learning how to deal with it and accepting help, which I think is a very important skill to learn about and apply to your own life.

[Katelyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 for me. The first half of this book was reals all over the place and felt too scattered. The main character Maeve is likeable enough. What I mainly enjoyed was her relationship with Salix though, that was really wholesome and lovely. It ended on a high note. Overall, a pretty average book. Nothing incredible but not bad by any means

[lilly · Rating 2 out of 5]

Conclusion: too many important topics that were not discussed very well and in depth

Could have been a good book with more than just one-sided characters and maybe even some sort of storyline if it had about 200 extra pages.