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Securely Attached: How Understanding Childhood Trauma Will Transform Your Parenting-A Handbook for Adoptive and Foster Parents
Has Trauma Affected the Child You’re Caring For? Just as you prepared your home to welcome a new child, it is important to prepare your heart and mind—especially if the child has suffered from a background of trauma. Perhaps your invitation for love is met with hostility, and you find that this new member of your family rejects connection. If so, then it’s critical to acknowledge the effects of trauma on a child’s ability to attach. Mike and Kristin Berry realized this when they became adoptive and foster parents. In their twenty-year marriage, they have had the joy of adopting eight children and fostering twenty-three. They now offer guidance from their own journey to others parenting a child who has experienced past trauma. In Securely Attached , they offer practical insights that are supported by therapeutic and medical facts, so all parents can provide best for the children in their care. You’ll Get the help you need to better care for the children in your home. Discover how you can create a family and home that is safe and supportive so your children can grow to trust and become securely attached.
288 pages, Paperback
Published October 6, 2020
38 people are currently reading
577 people want to read
About the author
Mike Berry
63 books18 followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.
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September 10, 2021
As the dad of two adopted kids, I have an uncomfortable relationship with the adoption community. There’s a sense of “saviorism” that can permeate the culture and parents can be ignorant or even purposefully dismissive of a child’s birth family and culture. In transracial adoptions, parents can be ignorant or insensitive to the racial differences between them and their children. In all adoptions, parents can fail to understand their child’s traumatic history. Adoption is trauma and many adoptive parents don’t realize that. That’s why a book like Securely Attached is so important.
The book begins with an overview of trauma. Everyone experiences trauma on some level. This is a good starting point because it helps parents—who probably aren’t adoptees—to identify with their adopted or foster children. It helps you see how little things might be triggers for major traumas. One story they tell is about a five-year-old foster child who insisted on taking his toothbrush to school with him. After discussion, they found that the child had no sense of stability. Having been moved from home to home, he never knew if he would return to where he was staying—and he hated new toothbrushes.
From here, Mike and Kristin move to a discussion of how trauma affects the brain. They develop an analogy of the brain like a house. The basement is pure survival. It’s the foundation, but no learning or relationship building takes place. The first floor is where emotions and feelings live, while the upstairs floor is for “higher” functions like logic, learning, planning, etc. This imagery is helpful because it gives adults (and kids) understandable language in which to discuss trauma. Further chapters deal with resiliency, attachment, and healing. Their one-paragraph descriptions of healthy and unhealthy attachments at various points in the lifespan are great for helping parents determine where their children are at on this scale.
The middle part of the book is about how parents can work toward developing secure attachments with their children. While the book is specifically for foster and adoptive children, there’s a lot of good information here for biological children as well. The Berrys have a wonderful, respectful understanding of parenting that I absolutely admire. I could say so much, but I’ll just focus on their core belief that behavior is a voice:
“The greedy child may have been starving when he was a baby. The silly child may use laughter to cover her insecurities. The quiet child may have learned to cope by pretending to be invisible. The child who is overly affectionate may be informally interviewing for a new mom or dad. To feel safe, the hypervigilant child may need things in precise order. The charming child may use the attention of others to overcome self-doubt. The defiant child may feel that obedience is a loss of control. The lazy child may be too overwhelming, depressed, or anxious to make any step forward.”
In other words, children aren’t bad. They aren’t naughty. They have unmet needs and their behaviors are an attempt to express or meet those needs. Kristin writes of reminding herself during one child’s extended meltdown—this is not pure defiance, this is trauma behavior. That change of perspective can really alter how we view parenting. They advocate asking three questions amid “bad” behaviors: 1) what happened in this child’s past? 2) what is happening to this child right now? 3) what is about to happen to this child?
They devote a whole chapter to helping parents understand the root cause of unwanted behaviors. Is it disrespect or their survival instinct? Disobedience or a lack of executive functioning? Bad behavior or a sensory need? A lack of sleep? A lack of body awareness? And for every question, they have an anecdote that illustrates what they mean. To give one personal example, I remember teaching physical education to a preschool class and one kid constantly ran over the others, pushing them, knocking them down, running into them. He was also head and shoulders taller than anyone else. It wasn’t bad behavior. It was a lack of body awareness. He couldn’t control his body. He wasn’t that much more rough than other kids, just a lot bigger.
The Berrys teach parents how to plan ahead for problems. And this ranges from the normal and everyday to the heartbreakingly extreme. Do you have a child who struggles with transitions? Work a plan to remind them of upcoming transitions and try different methods of transitioning. Do you have a child who acts out violently to the point you may need to call the police? The Berrys provide a whole script for how to call 911, ask for a crisis-intervention-trained officer, be clear that mental illness is involved, is unarmed, and not a threat to police. The chapter on managing crisis behavior is poignant but heart wrenching.
Lastly, the Berrys teach caregivers how to emotionally regulate themselves. Caregivers need help too. Dealing with trauma can be traumatic. Dealing with dysregulation can leave you dysregulated. Learning how to emotionally regulate oneself not only leads to better mental health and better parenting outcomes, but also models for your children appropriate ways of dealings with self-dysregulation.
Securely Attached is a paradigm-changer for parenting. It should be mandatory reading for prospective adoptive or foster parents. Highly readable, filled with anecdotes and stories, founded in solid research, Mike and Kristin write out of their own experiences to present an honest view of adoption and foster care that places the child first. Their understanding that kids do well when they can, along with their acknowledgment of childhood trauma, makes for a loving, empathetic, heart-rending book on how to create an environment for kids to grow into stability.
The book begins with an overview of trauma. Everyone experiences trauma on some level. This is a good starting point because it helps parents—who probably aren’t adoptees—to identify with their adopted or foster children. It helps you see how little things might be triggers for major traumas. One story they tell is about a five-year-old foster child who insisted on taking his toothbrush to school with him. After discussion, they found that the child had no sense of stability. Having been moved from home to home, he never knew if he would return to where he was staying—and he hated new toothbrushes.
From here, Mike and Kristin move to a discussion of how trauma affects the brain. They develop an analogy of the brain like a house. The basement is pure survival. It’s the foundation, but no learning or relationship building takes place. The first floor is where emotions and feelings live, while the upstairs floor is for “higher” functions like logic, learning, planning, etc. This imagery is helpful because it gives adults (and kids) understandable language in which to discuss trauma. Further chapters deal with resiliency, attachment, and healing. Their one-paragraph descriptions of healthy and unhealthy attachments at various points in the lifespan are great for helping parents determine where their children are at on this scale.
The middle part of the book is about how parents can work toward developing secure attachments with their children. While the book is specifically for foster and adoptive children, there’s a lot of good information here for biological children as well. The Berrys have a wonderful, respectful understanding of parenting that I absolutely admire. I could say so much, but I’ll just focus on their core belief that behavior is a voice:
“The greedy child may have been starving when he was a baby. The silly child may use laughter to cover her insecurities. The quiet child may have learned to cope by pretending to be invisible. The child who is overly affectionate may be informally interviewing for a new mom or dad. To feel safe, the hypervigilant child may need things in precise order. The charming child may use the attention of others to overcome self-doubt. The defiant child may feel that obedience is a loss of control. The lazy child may be too overwhelming, depressed, or anxious to make any step forward.”
In other words, children aren’t bad. They aren’t naughty. They have unmet needs and their behaviors are an attempt to express or meet those needs. Kristin writes of reminding herself during one child’s extended meltdown—this is not pure defiance, this is trauma behavior. That change of perspective can really alter how we view parenting. They advocate asking three questions amid “bad” behaviors: 1) what happened in this child’s past? 2) what is happening to this child right now? 3) what is about to happen to this child?
They devote a whole chapter to helping parents understand the root cause of unwanted behaviors. Is it disrespect or their survival instinct? Disobedience or a lack of executive functioning? Bad behavior or a sensory need? A lack of sleep? A lack of body awareness? And for every question, they have an anecdote that illustrates what they mean. To give one personal example, I remember teaching physical education to a preschool class and one kid constantly ran over the others, pushing them, knocking them down, running into them. He was also head and shoulders taller than anyone else. It wasn’t bad behavior. It was a lack of body awareness. He couldn’t control his body. He wasn’t that much more rough than other kids, just a lot bigger.
The Berrys teach parents how to plan ahead for problems. And this ranges from the normal and everyday to the heartbreakingly extreme. Do you have a child who struggles with transitions? Work a plan to remind them of upcoming transitions and try different methods of transitioning. Do you have a child who acts out violently to the point you may need to call the police? The Berrys provide a whole script for how to call 911, ask for a crisis-intervention-trained officer, be clear that mental illness is involved, is unarmed, and not a threat to police. The chapter on managing crisis behavior is poignant but heart wrenching.
Lastly, the Berrys teach caregivers how to emotionally regulate themselves. Caregivers need help too. Dealing with trauma can be traumatic. Dealing with dysregulation can leave you dysregulated. Learning how to emotionally regulate oneself not only leads to better mental health and better parenting outcomes, but also models for your children appropriate ways of dealings with self-dysregulation.
Securely Attached is a paradigm-changer for parenting. It should be mandatory reading for prospective adoptive or foster parents. Highly readable, filled with anecdotes and stories, founded in solid research, Mike and Kristin write out of their own experiences to present an honest view of adoption and foster care that places the child first. Their understanding that kids do well when they can, along with their acknowledgment of childhood trauma, makes for a loving, empathetic, heart-rending book on how to create an environment for kids to grow into stability.
October 6, 2020
Mike and Kristin Berry’s books never fail to inspire, comfort, and equip parents for the foster/adoptive journey, and Securely Attached is no exception. In fact, this might be their most practical and actionable book yet.
Children who are in foster care or have been adopted have experienced trauma. Trauma permanently alters the brain and how it functions. As such, we can’t raise these kiddos as we would a child who has always been attached to their biological family. In Securely Attached, Mike and Kristin give us the understanding and the tools to help us raise these kids to be successful adults. One of my favorite quotes, when talking about de-escalating crisis situations, is, “Remember, this isn’t a battle between you and your child, it is a battle you are entering with your child.” This is hard to remember sometimes when you have a child who is tearing up the house and screaming hurtful things at those around them, but as Mike and Kristin teach, it is so important to the peace of your home and the success of your child.
Some of the topics covered are how trauma affects the brain, attachment techniques, understanding behaviors that stop attachment, seeing beyond bad behaviors to what’s really going on, and regulation strategies, among many others. This book is a must for parents of foster/adoptive children, but could also be useful for church leaders, teachers, daycare workers, or anyone who works with children. I cannot recommend this, and all of Mike and Kristin’s books, more highly.
I received a complimentary copy of this book. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
Children who are in foster care or have been adopted have experienced trauma. Trauma permanently alters the brain and how it functions. As such, we can’t raise these kiddos as we would a child who has always been attached to their biological family. In Securely Attached, Mike and Kristin give us the understanding and the tools to help us raise these kids to be successful adults. One of my favorite quotes, when talking about de-escalating crisis situations, is, “Remember, this isn’t a battle between you and your child, it is a battle you are entering with your child.” This is hard to remember sometimes when you have a child who is tearing up the house and screaming hurtful things at those around them, but as Mike and Kristin teach, it is so important to the peace of your home and the success of your child.
Some of the topics covered are how trauma affects the brain, attachment techniques, understanding behaviors that stop attachment, seeing beyond bad behaviors to what’s really going on, and regulation strategies, among many others. This book is a must for parents of foster/adoptive children, but could also be useful for church leaders, teachers, daycare workers, or anyone who works with children. I cannot recommend this, and all of Mike and Kristin’s books, more highly.
I received a complimentary copy of this book. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
October 9, 2020
Securely attached is a handbook intended for those that care for children - both adoption and fostering.
This book is of interest as some of the tips can be used in the classroom. It is beneficial to all teachers to understand how trauma and ACES (adverse childhood experiences) can impact a child and subsequently affect your teaching and their learning.
Having a toolkit with strategies and interventions can only enhance one's knowledge. The book is very well written, easy to understand and follow.
This is a must-read for all educators.
This book is of interest as some of the tips can be used in the classroom. It is beneficial to all teachers to understand how trauma and ACES (adverse childhood experiences) can impact a child and subsequently affect your teaching and their learning.
Having a toolkit with strategies and interventions can only enhance one's knowledge. The book is very well written, easy to understand and follow.
This is a must-read for all educators.
November 28, 2020
As a Key Worker for Looked After children in a school and a Supported Lodgings provider for teens in the foster care system, this book appealed to me as another approach to looking at the minds and emotions of children with deep trauma and attachment issues. I have come back to this book several times over the past 6 months and despite thinking I was incredibly knowledgeable about Attachment Theories, I have learned something new from every chapter.
Well written, clear to understand and heart wrenching at times.
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the arc.
Well written, clear to understand and heart wrenching at times.
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the arc.
March 20, 2022
Lots of information that nurturing parents would find intuitive and repetitive. Lots of contradiction (give them space is one suggested technique for co-regulation, stay close is another one). Lots of Jesus in this book which was exhausting for this atheist. Some good info but could distill that into a blog post.
December 19, 2023
In a world where patience, empathy, and selflessness are in short supply, this couple is living these qualities out on a daily basis. I appreciate their podcast, and I appreciate this book. Great encouragement and tangible advice for foster and adoptive families. And a great resource for someone like me who is considering this path.
October 3, 2020
This book is practical. Indirectly you learn the mindset of a parent of a child from a hard place, otherwise known as trauma, and are taught the research best practice concepts for successful interaction with adopted or foster children.
This book is the steps to put in place mentally, emotionally, and physically in parenting a child or children from hard places. It is practical. Reading it bit by bit would give you hope even if you take months to get through the whole book.
It is rare to find a book on how to help a child dealing with trauma that addresses multiple children in the home. Many practices focus on helping ONE child with their scenario.
Each chapter ends with: What Now? and then a Remember bullet point list. These tasks suggest you journal, chat with a friend, create a plan, basically a task or aspect of life to think through in response to this chapter's content.
This book is for the parents or caregivers IN the trenches, if someone who has not experienced children from a hard place, it might help, but the reader might not grasp what life is like fully from this book. Kristin's book is a better story of living with trauma in the midst of family and life.
Wonders
The book is an amazing practical resource. I'm trying to think back through when I was hopeless, desperate, and needed resources, I've read and been educated by the same resources listed in their notes section and then some. And I am trying to think through some of the biggest challenges that I needed support and resources to cope with. This book is an easy read, as it is well written, with a good balance of facts, experience, and stories. It is 285 pages and builds a great foundation for the reader.
A few practical concerns I've faced that I wish had been brought up in the book or if mentioned, most people need more information.
*Church- attending, how to educate your leadership, connection, life group participation, resources available to support your family attending church.
*Documentation: yes save everything. But who do you share your notes/journals with?
*Navigating support systems, what to seek, what to ask, what to share...like SSi, Voc Rehab, specialty care, developmental pediatricians.
*Foster children's contact and visits with bio family members. Preparing your child, the child's debriefing, gifts, holidays, etc.
*To expand the above- kinship care, when you aren't in the system, but need the system.
*Resources that this is built on and a list of books (some are in the notes, but a set of tools to extend the learning and find like-minded people)
*What happens when the child leaves your home because the parent is ready to resume parenting.
Visuals-- a few good infographics, some memes of the steps to follow in connecting, some refrigerator cheat sheets to connect. To make the practical memorable.
Visuals--examples of documenting- actual images or lists- they are indirectly shared, but how to write down vital things, and what is vital, as well as tips on how to do it.
Little faith references, a few scriptures mentioned, but this is really non-fiction how to fact-based book, and practical tips, that often a person who isn't of faith wouldn't object to reading. It surprises me that Moody is the publisher. But I know that believers are many of the caregivers and those who adopt children.
Thankful to partner with Moody Publishers and read an advanced copy of the book pdf. Wish this book was available 5 or 6 years ago.
This book is the steps to put in place mentally, emotionally, and physically in parenting a child or children from hard places. It is practical. Reading it bit by bit would give you hope even if you take months to get through the whole book.
It is rare to find a book on how to help a child dealing with trauma that addresses multiple children in the home. Many practices focus on helping ONE child with their scenario.
Each chapter ends with: What Now? and then a Remember bullet point list. These tasks suggest you journal, chat with a friend, create a plan, basically a task or aspect of life to think through in response to this chapter's content.
This book is for the parents or caregivers IN the trenches, if someone who has not experienced children from a hard place, it might help, but the reader might not grasp what life is like fully from this book. Kristin's book is a better story of living with trauma in the midst of family and life.
Wonders
The book is an amazing practical resource. I'm trying to think back through when I was hopeless, desperate, and needed resources, I've read and been educated by the same resources listed in their notes section and then some. And I am trying to think through some of the biggest challenges that I needed support and resources to cope with. This book is an easy read, as it is well written, with a good balance of facts, experience, and stories. It is 285 pages and builds a great foundation for the reader.
A few practical concerns I've faced that I wish had been brought up in the book or if mentioned, most people need more information.
*Church- attending, how to educate your leadership, connection, life group participation, resources available to support your family attending church.
*Documentation: yes save everything. But who do you share your notes/journals with?
*Navigating support systems, what to seek, what to ask, what to share...like SSi, Voc Rehab, specialty care, developmental pediatricians.
*Foster children's contact and visits with bio family members. Preparing your child, the child's debriefing, gifts, holidays, etc.
*To expand the above- kinship care, when you aren't in the system, but need the system.
*Resources that this is built on and a list of books (some are in the notes, but a set of tools to extend the learning and find like-minded people)
*What happens when the child leaves your home because the parent is ready to resume parenting.
Visuals-- a few good infographics, some memes of the steps to follow in connecting, some refrigerator cheat sheets to connect. To make the practical memorable.
Visuals--examples of documenting- actual images or lists- they are indirectly shared, but how to write down vital things, and what is vital, as well as tips on how to do it.
Little faith references, a few scriptures mentioned, but this is really non-fiction how to fact-based book, and practical tips, that often a person who isn't of faith wouldn't object to reading. It surprises me that Moody is the publisher. But I know that believers are many of the caregivers and those who adopt children.
Thankful to partner with Moody Publishers and read an advanced copy of the book pdf. Wish this book was available 5 or 6 years ago.
July 25, 2020
I received this free for the purpose of review. These authors have researched and also lived out the suggestions they make.
I found the book helpful as it relates to foster/adopted children. They first helped me to understand that
trauma is a very real thing and even infants have a small mark on them based on their birth family and life in the womb.
I also found the book outstanding as it relates to parenting in general. Too many times I have corrected the behavior without asking the question, "What happened or why did you do that?". Toddlers depending on their age, may not be able to answer the question but even those ages we can observe and discern things like, hunger, tired, wet diaper and other physical surroundings. Even toddlers as they tell you what happened you are showing care for them, not just correcting behavior. The goal is to show and express love and show compassion even in discipline. SPOILER ALERT: "THIS HURTS ME MORE THAN IT DOES YOU", save for a much older child when you can explain the term.
Now, a foster or adopted child suffers much trauma; drug addict, alcoholic, abuse in family, abandoned,
and so we the parents have to start and build the foundation of being able to communicate rather than correct. Everything you do as a foster or adoptive parent will be tough but face it every day life is tough if you want to do the right thing.
So, parenting both biological and adoptive parents have but one solution that works every time:
As the Lord God to give you wisdom and cry out for your own heart to be softened to Jesus and courage to do the right thing.
I found the book helpful as it relates to foster/adopted children. They first helped me to understand that
trauma is a very real thing and even infants have a small mark on them based on their birth family and life in the womb.
I also found the book outstanding as it relates to parenting in general. Too many times I have corrected the behavior without asking the question, "What happened or why did you do that?". Toddlers depending on their age, may not be able to answer the question but even those ages we can observe and discern things like, hunger, tired, wet diaper and other physical surroundings. Even toddlers as they tell you what happened you are showing care for them, not just correcting behavior. The goal is to show and express love and show compassion even in discipline. SPOILER ALERT: "THIS HURTS ME MORE THAN IT DOES YOU", save for a much older child when you can explain the term.
Now, a foster or adopted child suffers much trauma; drug addict, alcoholic, abuse in family, abandoned,
and so we the parents have to start and build the foundation of being able to communicate rather than correct. Everything you do as a foster or adoptive parent will be tough but face it every day life is tough if you want to do the right thing.
So, parenting both biological and adoptive parents have but one solution that works every time:
As the Lord God to give you wisdom and cry out for your own heart to be softened to Jesus and courage to do the right thing.
October 6, 2020
“Securely Attached” is helping us learn how to unlearn.
The way our biological parents raised us (me and my wife) is not how we should necessarily raise our adopted boys (16, 12).
The Berry’s explain how trauma experiences change our perspective, just like taking photos of the same room from different angles. Each angle reveals something else about that room.
I’ve learned the scientific reasons of how trauma affects the brain, how to recognize disrupted attachment, and what “survival mode" really means.
As the Berry’s share their story with honesty and vulnerability, I often find myself laughing with embarrassment, “that’s us.” Especially the executive functioning example and the familiar melt down scene while driving seventy miles an hour on the open highway!
Within the first week of reading the book, my wife and I have begun to adjust our parenting to meet the needs of our boys who were placed with us just 12 weeks before the beginning of the quarantine. They’ve had five different learning environments and three living arrangements in less than a year.
Changing how I respond, how we discipline, how I impact dysregulation, and how we listen has been hard, especially with the uncertainty of the pandemic.
Through this book and the additional resources in the “What Now?” sections, the Berry’s are bringing stability and understanding to our lives. They are helping us guide our kids from hard places to create new, healthy attachments so they can live independent, healthy lives.
The way our biological parents raised us (me and my wife) is not how we should necessarily raise our adopted boys (16, 12).
The Berry’s explain how trauma experiences change our perspective, just like taking photos of the same room from different angles. Each angle reveals something else about that room.
I’ve learned the scientific reasons of how trauma affects the brain, how to recognize disrupted attachment, and what “survival mode" really means.
As the Berry’s share their story with honesty and vulnerability, I often find myself laughing with embarrassment, “that’s us.” Especially the executive functioning example and the familiar melt down scene while driving seventy miles an hour on the open highway!
Within the first week of reading the book, my wife and I have begun to adjust our parenting to meet the needs of our boys who were placed with us just 12 weeks before the beginning of the quarantine. They’ve had five different learning environments and three living arrangements in less than a year.
Changing how I respond, how we discipline, how I impact dysregulation, and how we listen has been hard, especially with the uncertainty of the pandemic.
Through this book and the additional resources in the “What Now?” sections, the Berry’s are bringing stability and understanding to our lives. They are helping us guide our kids from hard places to create new, healthy attachments so they can live independent, healthy lives.
September 19, 2020
*𝘐 𝘷𝘰𝘭𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘦𝘸𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘥𝘷𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳'𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘱𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘪𝘯 𝘦𝘹𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘯 𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘦𝘸. 𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘰𝘸𝘯*
𝘈𝘴 𝘢𝘯 𝘖𝘶𝘵𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘱𝘪𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘻𝘦𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢, 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘦𝘹𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬. 𝘐𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺, 𝘐 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘴 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘥𝘰𝘱𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘴. 𝘛𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘤𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘧𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘭𝘦𝘥𝘨𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮. 𝘖𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘭𝘭, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘢 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘫𝘰𝘣 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘴𝘺𝘤𝘩𝘰-𝘦𝘥𝘶𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢, 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘴 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯, 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵, 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘤𝘰-𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘶𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘶𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢 𝘴𝘺𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘴 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘶𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘳𝘢𝘭 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘴. 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘥. 𝘐 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘳𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘢 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢 𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘭𝘶𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘪𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘧𝘪𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘬𝘦𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘱𝘵𝘴 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘥. 𝘐 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥 𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘱𝘺 𝘴𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘥𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘵, 𝘤𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘢 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘧𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭; 𝘣𝘶𝘵, 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘨𝘶𝘪𝘥𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴.
𝘈𝘴 𝘢𝘯 𝘖𝘶𝘵𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘱𝘪𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘻𝘦𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢, 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘦𝘹𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬. 𝘐𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺, 𝘐 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘴 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘥𝘰𝘱𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘴. 𝘛𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘤𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘧𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘭𝘦𝘥𝘨𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮. 𝘖𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘭𝘭, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘢 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘫𝘰𝘣 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘴𝘺𝘤𝘩𝘰-𝘦𝘥𝘶𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢, 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘴 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯, 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵, 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘤𝘰-𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘶𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘶𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢 𝘴𝘺𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘴 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘶𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘳𝘢𝘭 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘴. 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘥. 𝘐 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘳𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘢 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢 𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘭𝘶𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘪𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘧𝘪𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘬𝘦𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘱𝘵𝘴 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘥. 𝘐 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥 𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘱𝘺 𝘴𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘥𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘵, 𝘤𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘢 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘧𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭; 𝘣𝘶𝘵, 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘨𝘶𝘪𝘥𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴.
October 6, 2020
I can't say enough good things about Securely Attached. Mike & Kristin Berry have provided foster and adoptive parents/caregivers with a wonderful guide to create a safe and healthy environment for children who have experienced trauma. Chapter topics range from defining trauma to understanding behaviors to encouraging self-care for caregivers. At the end of each chapter, they provide additional resources, journal prompts and things to remember, to help readers dig deeper into and apply what they have read.
This book helped me to better define trauma, and recognize that my children (despite the fact that two were adopted at birth) have all experienced it in different ways. I found hope in the examples they provided from their own life and the lives of others. I finished this book feeling better prepared to work with and encourage my children. I know it won't solve all of our problems, but I am confident that life will be just a bit easier when I utilize some of the suggestions they shared. I would highly recommend this to any foster and adoptive parent. It is practical, easy to read and easy to understand.
I received an advance reader copy from the author, but the opinions expressed are my own.
This book helped me to better define trauma, and recognize that my children (despite the fact that two were adopted at birth) have all experienced it in different ways. I found hope in the examples they provided from their own life and the lives of others. I finished this book feeling better prepared to work with and encourage my children. I know it won't solve all of our problems, but I am confident that life will be just a bit easier when I utilize some of the suggestions they shared. I would highly recommend this to any foster and adoptive parent. It is practical, easy to read and easy to understand.
I received an advance reader copy from the author, but the opinions expressed are my own.
October 6, 2020
Disclaimer: I have never read a book from Mike and Kristin Berry that I didn't love and share with others.
That said, this is a great resource for foster and adoptive parents who are walking through the effects of trauma with their children. Spoiler alert: Entering a safe and loving environment doesn't erase the past or the scars. Science and research coming with wisdom from people who have lived in the trenches is invaluable. It is also a great resource for people who love foster and adoptive parents and their children and who want to effectively come alongside and support -- educators, social workers, pastors, counselors, extended family, friends -- it's really just great for everyone. And for parents of biological children who have faced trauma, as well, as none of us are immune. Please get your copy today! And maybe an extra one to share.
That said, this is a great resource for foster and adoptive parents who are walking through the effects of trauma with their children. Spoiler alert: Entering a safe and loving environment doesn't erase the past or the scars. Science and research coming with wisdom from people who have lived in the trenches is invaluable. It is also a great resource for people who love foster and adoptive parents and their children and who want to effectively come alongside and support -- educators, social workers, pastors, counselors, extended family, friends -- it's really just great for everyone. And for parents of biological children who have faced trauma, as well, as none of us are immune. Please get your copy today! And maybe an extra one to share.
February 24, 2021
I randomly picked up this book because I have several friends who have adopted children and some friends who want to foster. I’ve always wondered what that world is like. I think I have romanticized the idea of adopting or fostering a poor little child, and this book confirmed that for sure! This book was easy to read, gave a lot of practical examples, and equipped me with MUCH more compassion than I previously had for foster children and adoptees. The trauma they have been through, has done actual damage to their brains, and correcting their bad behavior isn’t as simple as disciplining them. Reading this book also encouraged me in my parenting of my own children, and reminded me that I need to listen to them/see what’s bothering them and not harshly enforce rules. I am very thankful that I have the opportunity to make secure attachments with my children.
October 6, 2020
Fostering and adoption sound so heroic but they are both heavy callings with many serious challenges. Securely Attached is a book that helps attack the discouragement and frustration that can be experienced during a foster or adoption journey. It is easy to read- in a conversational style like you are sitting down for coffee with a seasoned warrior parent. I especially loved the ends of the chapters where it gave additional resources and some questions to think over or discuss if you use this book as a group study. I would more than highly recommend this book. The price is super compared to the amount we pay for a single meal these days and the benefits are beyond priceless. This book renewed our hope and strength in this journey.
October 6, 2020
Another amazing resource from the Berrys filled with rich information but written in language that every foster/adoptive parent can understand. The book starts by helping parents understand their own experiences of trauma and how such experiences are viewed and taken in differently by each person. It's extremely helpful to hear how trauma manifests itself within foster/adopted youth and how resiliency and healing plays a part. The book also details how trauma disrupts attachment and how to heal these bonds. As a foster/adoptive parent, I highly recommend this resource and its insights on not only understanding these truths but also excellent practical advice on managing complex situations and behaviors stemming from trauma and attachment struggles.
October 6, 2020
When you read this you will learn how to be a better person! There is so much great wisdom here, unpacking how to connect with children from foster care and adoption, or other trauma. The new information from recent studies and research will help any parent to raise children and be aware of what is going on in the brain. It is real, and the practical help and advice in this book sets you up to succeed. We work with foster children, but honestly, this helps me with my children who have not known that type of trauma because I'm more aware of the patterns and behaviors of the brain. It should be required reading for every social worker and teacher in the country!
October 6, 2020
Securely Attached by Mike & Kristin Berry is a must read for foster/adoptive parents written by foster/adoptive parents. Learning about how trauma changes the brain, how to parent with connection and identify the attachment needs of my kids, while addressing my own attachment needs has been invaluable to our family. Securely Attached is written with easy to implement strategies, follow up questions and even includes links to online resources at the end of each chapter. I can’t wait to start this book in our adoptive parents book club soon.
October 7, 2020
I have read so many books on attachment theory and working with foster/adoptive kids who struggle with attachment difficulties! This book by far has been the best! I love the way that Mike and Kristen Berry lay out these hard concepts in simple, easy to understand language. I also loved that at the end of each chapter it give resources to learn more and question to journal and discuss! I will be recommending this book for years to come!
September 9, 2020
A great resource for those considering or currently in foster care and/or adoption.
Honestly, due to state required training (differs by states) you may or may not cover the topics discussed in this book. But it is a great reminder and refresher as we consider trauma and the effects of said trauma. I would recommend any family considering foster care and/or adoption to read this book.
Honestly, due to state required training (differs by states) you may or may not cover the topics discussed in this book. But it is a great reminder and refresher as we consider trauma and the effects of said trauma. I would recommend any family considering foster care and/or adoption to read this book.
October 28, 2020
As an adopter, I found this book invaluable. It provides an honest insight into trauma and how it manifests itself in the behaviour of children. Using real-life examples also reminded me how important connecting with other adopters, sharing experiences and supporting each other is.
I'd recommend this book to anyone considering adoption or fostering.
I'd recommend this book to anyone considering adoption or fostering.
October 10, 2020
Another great book by Mike & Kristin Berry. This book really does help you to understand how trauma effects children and your parenting. Helpful strategies, real life stories, this is a must read for foster or adoptive families.
October 16, 2020
If you are an adoptive or foster parent or are considering it, this is a must read!!! To individuals and families who feel alone in fostering or adopting, you will be encouraged as you read and realize you are not alone.
January 23, 2023
I was torn on my rating. 3.5 stars
There was a lot of useful helpful practical information, but the religious stuff distracted from the material. If this hadn't been the first book on the subject that I'd read, I probably would have rated it lower.
There was a lot of useful helpful practical information, but the religious stuff distracted from the material. If this hadn't been the first book on the subject that I'd read, I probably would have rated it lower.
February 9, 2023
Securely attached gives a great overview of the life of raising kids who have experienced immense trauma. Practical advice is given throughout the book, as well as anecdotes from families who have lived it and are still living it. I loved how they also dive into how the brain is permanently altered from trauma but there is still hope attachment and improvement in behaviors. Highly recommend.
May 8, 2023
This book is centered on parenthood but is entirely generalizable and is a fully embodied take on how we can be a bit gentler and more considered around how we engage with those who have experienced trauma.
June 14, 2023
This was such a helpful read! Full of scenarios and great ideas as well as solid review of foundational skills and knowledge for working as a trauma-informed caregiver or support team member. Definitely a book I'll be re-reading down the line.
October 8, 2020
Great, easy to read, practical book for foster/adopt parents!
August 22, 2023
Well, it wasn’t my favorite trauma parenting book (perhaps because of lack of details when I wanted more), but it was encouraging with a healthy perspective!
July 2, 2024
I read this many months ago, and somehow missed writing a review. It is EXCELLENT, super inspiring and practical. Highly recommend.
August 17, 2023
Some chapters in this book were wonderful - especially the science of the brain with trauma. I bought the book so I could keep this chapter on hand. But all of the religion is just overwhelmingly unnecessary and has nothing to do with the subject of understanding childhood trauma. It could easily be another book about how religion helps you as a foster or adoptive parent - great.
Also, VERY strangely "organized" - topics are topsy-turvy and repetitive.
Also, VERY strangely "organized" - topics are topsy-turvy and repetitive.
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