The Weight of Love

by Hilary Fannin

'This is heartache for grown ups. The Weight of Love pulls you in and does not let go.' ANNE ENRIGHT

'Beautiful and painful, exquisitely written, shot through with nostalgia for our earlier selves.' MARIAN KEYES

London, 1996. Robin and Ruth meet in the staff room of an East London school. Robin, desperate for a real connection, instantly falls in love. Ruth, recently bereaved and fragile, is tentative.

When Robin introduces Ruth to his childhood friend, Joseph, a tortured and talented artist, their attraction is instant. Powerless, Robin watches on as the girl he loves and his best friend begin a passionate and turbulent affair.

Dublin 2017. Robin and Ruth are married and have a son, Sid, who is about to emigrate to Berlin. Theirs is a marriage haunted by the ghost of Joseph and as the distance between them grows, Robin makes a choice that could have potentially devastating consequences.

The Weight of Love is a beautiful exploration of how we manage life when the notes and beats of our existence, so carefully arranged, begin to slip off the stave. An intimate and moving account of the intricacies of marriage and the myriad ways in which we can love and be loved.

'Delicate, powerful, hypnotic.' DONAL RYAN

Genres: Fiction, Irish Literature, Book Club, Contemporary, Novels, Ireland

352 pages, Paperback

First published March 5, 2020

Reviews

[Barbara]

This is a first novel that doesn’t read like a first novel. The author is clearly an accomplished writer, a journalist and playwright in Ireland, and now a novelist. The prose of this novel captivates the reader from beginning to end. It is not simply the skilled use of beautiful language, but the aspects of people and events the author chooses to describe. It imbues the reader with many senses – nostalgia, romance, lust, regret, longing and melancholy, and even happiness and joy, something that I seek, but too rarely find in modern novels.

It is the story of three friends – Ruth, Joseph, and Robin; two cities – London and Dublin; and two time periods – the mid-90’s and 2017 and beyond. All three have had upbringings that were dysfunctional in one way or another. All three spend their lives searching for love, fulfillment, a sense of achievement, and reconciliation with their pasts.

This is not an ordinary love story, nor one of lost opportunities. Rather it examines three imperfect people, their relationships to each other, and what binds them for life whether they want that or not. And it is about fidelity and infidelity. This is a book that could easily be missed and overlooked. It hasn’t gotten the hype that other books, less worthy, are buried under. And it is a book that I won’t soon forget.

[Mairead Hearne (swirlandthread.com)]

‘He sat up, pushed back the bedclothes, held her gaze, and she felt a bolt,
a charge that made her want to sink to the floor.
Here it is, she thought, here is love, and fear’

Publishing March 19th with Doubleday Ireland, The Weight of Love is described as ‘an intimate and moving account of the intricacies of marriage and the myriad ways in which we can love and be loved.‘

The Weight of Love is indeed a very special book, a book that captivates and compels with a stunning structure and written with a very elegant pen.

Robin and Ruth meet up in a school in East London in 1995. He is a teacher and she is an SNA. Both ex-pats, Irish, they form an immediate bond and start to spend lunchtimes together discussing many topics across their lives. Robin is instantly attracted to Ruth but it is an ill-fated passion. On introducing Ruth to his wayward and artistic friend Joseph, Robin is no fool. He sees that fate has already made up her mind and his love for Ruth will have to remain hidden.

Robin grew up in West Cork near the sea with his German mother Ushi. It was a bohemian life with Ushi working with her hands making pottery and bringing home waifs and strays. When Robin met Joseph, it was clear that Joseph’s mother was distracted with other things and soon Joseph began to spend all his time with Ushi and Robin. Joseph was more daring, more erratic but the friendship between the two boys worked. They drifted in and out of contact over the years but when both later settled in London, a re-connection was made. Robin was always aware of Joseph’s character flaws, his tortured artistic nature and his attraction to women. When he sees Ruth’s demeanor on meeting Joseph, her everything change, he knew he stood no chance. He looked on as the relationship developed, like a spectator unable to intervene.

Twenty years later and Robin and Ruth are married and living in Ireland. With their son, Sid, heading off on his own journey of enlightenment to Berlin, Ruth and Robin’s relationship is put under the microscope. Their shared past is tumultuous, their history is fragile. Is this a marriage that can survive? Can the memories of those years in London ever be packed tightly away forever? What happens when irrational choices are made?

The chapters jump between now and then, with the past and present expertly woven into a captivating story. The layers are peeled back as the gaps are filled in and both begin to merge into this beautifully constructed tale of tenderness, of yearning.

Hilary Fannin has written a stunning portrayal of love in all its varied forms and colours. With a compelling narrative, the reader is exposed to a literary treat. A wonderful story depicted with such exquisite writing, The Weight of Love carries a profound sense of wistfulness for what could have been.

An astonishing debut novel, The Weight of Love, is an emotive, intelligent and contemporary tale, a poignant and arresting study of passion and pain, of love and loss.

Highly recommend!

[Derval]

3.5 stars. This book started kind of clunkily for me, with the author working too hard to create poetic imagery. It was all a bit over the top: "...he noticed that her eyes were grey and so much wilder and so much sadder than she intended." How sad does Robin think Ruth intends her eyes to look?? The style calmed down as the book progressed though, and I ended up enjoying it a lot more than I initially thought I would. My main issue is with the plausibility of the different loves in the triangle- why does Robin love Ruth so much and so fast? Why does Ruth still hold on to the idea of Joseph for so many years, especially after the way he treated her? I suppose love doesn't always make sense, but I struggled to understand the passions at play here. There were also a couple of moments that took me out of the story, one in particular where Helen is remembering a time when she was waiting for Ruth to arrive for a catch up. The section starts with the indication that this is just going to be Helen and Ruth, but then all of a sudden Colm and Robin pipe up. Saying all this though, I did absolutely zip through this book and I liked it a lot. I would have given it four starts except for these niggles.

[Jeanniehay64]

The weight of love is a compelling book which explores love in all its forms. The passion and pain of unrequited love and the effects it can have on lives is beautifully portrayed.

Robin and Ruth meet in a school in London where he is a teacher and she is a special needs assistant. They are both originally from Ireland and this unites them initially and as their friendship grow Robins feelings deepen and he hopes Ruth feels the same. When Ruth meets Robins boyhood friend Joseph their mutual attraction is evident.

Robin and Ruth marry and settle in Ireland with their son Sid ,.but what about the years in between? Will the past come back to haunt their marriage? Will decisions made previously destroy their happiness? Can Ruth ever forget Joseph and will Robin ever feel first in her affections? Will their love story have a happy ending? Is it possible to love more than one person.

This is not your typical love story the characters at some points can seem uncaring and messed up. I felt like giving them my advice on lots of occasions but then again in real life it’s easy to see things differently when your on the outside looking in with no emotional attachment. Real life relationships are complicated and do not have a blueprint and this book explored this beautifully.

A fantastic debut novel thank you to netgalley and the publishers for my chance to read and review it.

[Carol Jones]

This is a debut novel for Irish playwright Hilary Fannin, although you would never guess that. It's an intimate novel, chronicling a love triangle in two timelines, 1995 and 2018. Robin, who loves Ruth, who loves Joseph, are young and finding themselves in London. Robin introduces his teaching colleague Ruth to his childhood friend and artist Joseph, and then watches helplessly as they fall in lust. Twenty some years later, Robin and Ruth are married, living in Dublin and their relationship has faltered.

The novel ponders the nature of love - romantic, sexual and parental - its ebbs and flows, the claws it hooks into us and doesn't let go. It is layered with the details of ordinary lives, made special by this almost forensic, yet poetic examination. Beautifully written, with characters who are sometimes frustratingly annoying in their choices, this is a gripping story of human love in many guises.

[Lucille]

I am a fan of contemporary Irish writing but I found The Weight of Love a difficult book to like. I found myself distanced from the characters, perhaps because of the writing style.

Essentially this is a love triangle between Robin, Ruth and Joe but I had little sympathy for any of the characters. Unlikeable characters do not normally put me off, as they can be relatable to real life ones, but they do need to have some redeeming features. Ruth loved Joe and used Robin, Robin loved Ruth and was weak because of his unrequited love and Joe? Joe loved himself.

A novel that shreds marriage and friendships apart, The Weight of Love will probably appeal to readers who enjoy Anne Enright and Sally Rooney. Many thanks to RandomHouse/Transworld and NetGalley for the opportunity to read and review this book.

[CC]

I thought this book was excellent. I made no annotations to my copy at all which is always a great sign, I whisked right through it, completely absorbed by the observational passage of time for each character. Even seemingly secondary ones like Helen had an impact, not just serving as stage dressing but part of the whole. The Weight of Love may not be your typical love story. It may not have characters that you relate to at all, or even want to know. They make exhilarating and sometimes terrible decisions, hurt one another, carry resentments and make a terrible mess of things. As unflinching as it all is I felt this was a powerful look at love and relationships.

[Sheila]

The book, about a love triangle , raises a lot of questions. Do we ever get over our first love, continually wondering what if? The story takes place in Dublin and London , and we know a lot of the details in the first few pages. Very well told, a difficult format to negotiate, the story moves at its own sweet pace. Not only is it adult relationship love , but also parental love, love of an area, home, friends. I was torn by Ruth's indecision, by Robin's indifference in the end. Death and its emotions were beautifully handles. A great book.

[Emer]

I enjoyed this book - it reads like 'Normal People' if you are in your late 30's. I have to say it was at times disjointed and some of the terminology seems forced. There are some beautiful lines and it was easy to read.

[Vivian]

Every major character was distinctly unlikeable. A loves B who loves C who loves no one. The constantly shifting timelines were also annoying. The second half of the book was an improvement but in the end it was difficult to care about such self indulgent, miserable people.

[Anne Farrer]

Slow and awkward, with clunky pacing and unsatisfying jumps between time periods. Descibed as a love triangle this really didn't succeed because all three characters were miserable and unlikable. No love for the love here.

[Ophelia]

My gosh I found this dull. Depressing and dreary. Clearly I was not in the mood for this book.

[Sharon Keogh]

Beautifully written, pulls you in and doesn't let you go, seemlessly moved between two different time periods, flesh and blood characters that linger long after the last page.

[James Lawless]

When Robin Wolfe, an Irishman teaching in a comprehensive school in Clerkenwell in London in 1995, meets Special Needs Assistant Ruth Lennon, he becomes immediately infatuated with her. Ruth however is more tentative towards him. But, when Robin introduces her to his erratic and artistic boyhood friend Joseph Kazargazof, Ruth embarks on a passionate liaison with Joseph.
The novel then flits to Dublin 2017 where we witness Ruth and Robin married with a son Sid on the point of going to Berlin to try to be a DJ. The remainder of the narrative is involved in filling in the gaps as the ‘courteous, twitchy marriage’ is haunted by the ghost of Joseph. While competently done, one irritating consequence of this method of flashback writing is the almost constant use of the pluperfect tense. However, it is very readable and page-turning despite a little sag in the middle where perhaps there is too much emphasis on food.
There are on-the-button descriptions such as the meteorological accuracy of some Irish summers’ where ‘the sun waits until you’ve given up on it entirely before it flashes it brilliance and then disappears altogether’. And the atmosphere of London in the nineties is wonderfully captured. Robin liked the city because there he could think freely ‘on the grey edges of its disregard.’ And when Ruth shared with three Irish nurses in Streatham, she listened to the harrowing stories they brought back every night from the hospital. And one of nurses, the reliable Helen ‘like durable grouting’ harbours a secret love for Robin. But it is ‘a pebble-sized love that you could turn over in your pocket without anyone at all being aware of its weight in your hand’.
Fannin is a fine writer with an original turn of phrase. She renders brilliantly an epiphanic moment for Robin when as a child he encounters Joseph’s mother topless and entertaining a man in the marram grass on a West Cork beach. For up to this he had thought of mothers merely as people who ‘had faces, mouths that opened and closed in butchers’ shops and eyes that squinted on sidelines’.
In London Ruth felt separated ‘from the husk of herself’. While at home Ruth’s mother measured out her days visiting her dying husband in hospital, and with her ritualistic washing of his pyjamas was ‘treating death with an excessive politeness, as if it was an exhaustingly powerful guest’.
To read the rest of this review go to https:jameslawless.net

[Emer Tannam]

3.5

I really hope Hilary Fannin writes more books.

There are a few things that I didn’t love about this book. Like my sister, who read it at around the same time as me, sometimes the style didn’t work for me.“the kind of beauty pours itself a drink and drifts off into the garden while you’re still lingering by its door”, or “The cold was extravagant, the cold was the father of the bride, wanting everyone to witness his generosity, to envy his capacity for largesse.”

There were also too many flashbacks within flashbacks, which I found confusing. From a grammatical point of view, that’s just too much past perfect. The purpose of it seemed to be to create suspense, but it’s not that kind of book.

I also got the impression that the author doesn’t like dogs.

The relationship between Joe and his mother was creepy. In fact, all the relationships were a bit much. We have Helen in love with Robin who’s in love with Ruth who’s in love with Joe who’s in love with his mother.

And I didn’t really understand how if Robin was such a great guy, he was having an affair, and even brining his lover to meet his mother.

On the other hand, despite these niggling details, I was bet into it.

Sometimes the style really did work, like when she described “upholstered aunts and uncles” at a wedding.

It was also funny. I especially enjoyed the conversations between Helen and her mother. I would have liked more of Helen.

“Do you want your nebulizer?’ ‘No,’ her mother replied as Helen was preparing to dive under the bed again and wrestle with the plug. ‘I don’t want my nebulizer, I want to die.’ ‘Yes, so you’ve said, more than once. How about a cup of tea instead?’”

I enjoyed the relationship between Robin and his mother, found it very moving.

Overall, really engrossing and enjoyable, and I’ll definitely read anything else she writes.

[Rachel]

I received an ARC of this book with thanks to Transworld Publishers, Doubleday Ireland via NetGalley.

Throughout this story we follow the intertwined love triangle of Ruth, Robin and Joseph. The infatuations of some, the unattainable nature of others and how they navigate living day-to-day with the errors of the past and the frustrations of the present. How through lack of communication and affection a relationship can crumble but the slightest attempt of reach has the power to help heal. How the obsession of loved ones in our minds and placing them on an unattainable pedestal has the strength to break not only your heart, but yours and their spirit. And how the unspoken eats away at us more than we possibly understand until upon realisation, at which point we're too far apart to repair the distance we've created between one another.

I wouldn't classify this an uplifting book, but I really enjoyed this story. It's about the everyday, ordinary kind of love. It's a love story that isn't romanticised; it just feels real. Whilst reading this I felt transported to an icy, windy Irish beach. I felt cold, but comforted at the same time which is a true talent for a writer to possess.

[Kate]

This character-driven story explores how we love; who we choose to love; and the lasting impression left by our first love. It’s beautifully written, and Fannin creates characters that you can relate to – they are honest, have good intentions and are also flawed. I will look forward to reading more from Fannin.

[Pamela]

Complex and confusing

A slow book about complex and confusing characters none of whom.can make decisions and don't know what they want. Poorly described and difficult to know who's who. A tough read.

[K]

The ending is good but it really drags in the middle - it took what felt like forever to finish.

[Lindsay Bond O'Neill]

I love her columns and really wanted to love this too but I just didn’t get it and it took lots of strength to keep going and not abandon it.

[FH Linda]

This book read like a very dull, damp, rainy day. Disappointing.

[Rebecca]

This isn’t my usual 5 stars but I wanted to differentiate it from other similar novels as I do think that it is a step above. At its most simplistic this is a love triangle that harks back to the characters’ lives in London in the mid nineties (the main protagonists are now living in Dublin) but it does bring in plenty of other relationships and characters besides - all of which add something important in their own way. Often I get frustrated with this type of novel as authors seem to try too hard to justify their characters’ (often fairly mundane) decisions with grandiose philosophies of life. Fannin does nothing of the sort - this is a very definite show and not tell. Of course there is some introspection and internal monologue but on the whole characters make choices that feel very much of their personalities but that you also feel could easily have been different on a different day in slightly different circumstances. I think it’s fair to say that as a result the characters can feel a bit aimless and lack agency but in my opinion it just makes them more believable and I would bet most people have known a version of them over the course of their lives.

Overall this is beautifully written and I think Fannin does a wonderful job of looking at the everyday complexity and mundanity of relationships (not just romantic) - both how they form and how they survive and then ultimately how they shape us. If you enjoy this kind of character led, quiet novel I would definitely recommend.

[Donal Healy]

I need to be careful with this review because I essentially read the book in two halves about a month apart.

The first half of the book is an unsteady pile of beautiful prose with a plot that loosely supports it. By the time I picked up the book again I had enough of an idea of the characters to appreciate the patchwork of memories and events through which the plot unfolds.

It’s a clunky read and the characters are for the most pretty unlikeable, although I think Ruth is at least understandable. Smaller characters like Helen offer some really great insights, I love her line about having « a small pebble sized love, that she could feel in her pocket and turn about snd squeeze into her palm » (paraphrased)

One of the reviews on the inside cover call it a grown up love story about heartbreak and I think the book definitely lived up to that.

[Anna]

Others have commented here that this is a very accomplished book for a debut novel...I would agree entirely. I found it to be a compelling and authentic read. I immediately found I had clear mental images of the characters and locations. I wanted this book to be longer! I loved Ushi and her steadfastness and found myself annoyed at Robin when he brought Celestine to visit her when she was vulnerable. This just demonstrated to me how much I had engaged with the characters. Lovely prose...just a very occasional clunky use of words....ie declamatory or mephitic. Rather than a criticism that bears much weight this goes to the fact of how much I enjoyed this book that I paid attention to every word! Well worth a read.

[Zoe Adams]

I really enjoyed this. The first two chapters were absolutely terrible, but I'm glad I pushed through. I didn't really feel for the characters, but it was definitely a well-crafted novel, and it explored the theme so well that I can appreciate its quality even though I would never name it as a 'favorite' book. I don't usually like books that jump around in time, but this was done really well, and despite all the jumping, you felt like the author was building up the characters' pasts and experiences in a logical way. My only complaint is that the characters need to 'go for a slash' far too often for my liking; and that phrase really jarred against what was otherwise quite lyrical writing.

[Ciara H]

Oh dear.
Robin, Ruth, and Joseph. And Sid. And Celestine.
Tortured souls all.
Such sadness and misery throughout their lives. Perhaps I missed the happy moments.
I do remember the Ireland as described but the newer Ireland that has hope a joy is only alluded to by Colm and Helen - very much secondary characters.
The lives are so maudlin, so bleak, and so joyless. It's not a fun book.
As an exploration of love I feel the joy of love (in all it's forms) are not fairly balanced with the hurt caused by love. Joy or happiness are barely fleeting only and overwhelmed by the sadness and numbness of unfulfillment in love.

[Moya33]

Hmm.. interesting read. Like some, I was annoyed at Ruth's passivity, Joe's self absorption, and Robin's vagueness about everything. I was confused with the jumping around of time periods but managed to figure that out. I did find myself reading with interest as I wanted to know the outcome of all this pain and suffering the three of them had in regards to their history together.
The good part was I guessed correctly the astrological signs of Joe and Ruth before they even were verified during the book!!

[Helen]

This is no ordinary Roma notice novel .Rather it tells the story of three friends each of whom is dysfunctional . The trials and tribulations of relationships beginning with young teenagers madly in love continuing into the hardships and handicaps of more mature relationships . The path of true love never runs smoothly . Hilary Fannin show an understanding of human idiosyncratic behaviour and how it affects others

[Della O'Brien]

Took me a while to get into this, but it crept up on me. Strong sense of place in London and Ireland. Great characters. Initially one woman two men then two women one man. Mothers figure prominently. Story of two friends in London, one falls in love with a friend of the other and their lives unfold from there.

[Catherine Clapperton]

I thoroughly enjoyed Hilary Fanning's Debut Novel! Her writing style is delicious and I ravenously devoured The Weight of Love in no time at all.

We follow the lives and loves of Ruth, Joseph and Robin. Entirely relatable with a strong plot. Would highly recommend!