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Free: From Legalism to Grace Breaking Out of the United Pentecostal Church
An encouraging memoire about leaving a controlling, legalistic religion. After spending twenty five years in the United Pentecostal Church the author shares her family's story of breaking free of the bonds of religious traditions and legalism. This book dives into the core doctrines of the United Pentecostal Church and shares scripture references and Biblical revelations of God's grace. The author goes into very personal details exploring the oppression and low self-esteem women especially face in the grips of this kind of organization. Follow her on her journey as she overcomes the feelings of inadequacy and low self worth as she discovers who she truly is as a child of her Creator.
- GenresReligion
139 pages, Kindle Edition
Published August 11, 2019
32 people are currently reading
58 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
August 12, 2021
There are two things I love about this book- it’s honesty and it’s kindness. Jennifer Brewer was very honest in her memoir when it came to describing her experiences in the United Pentecostal Church (UPC). She told the truth, even about her own failings and by doing this we can easily identify with her (because we all fall short of what we are supposed to do.) Her honesty, in talking about her negative thoughts and sharing her insecurities, allow the reader to be on her side . We suffer with her and root for her to leave this oppressive cult.
While being honest about the wrongs that were done to her, Jennifer is kind in ascribing the best motives to those who were hurting her. While it would be easy to lash out in rage and hold on to bitterness, Jennifer seeks the higher ground and, in so doing, teaches us to respond with the Love of Christ. To Jennifer, most of those who hurt her didn’t realize what they were doing and only wanted her Salvation.
In the end, Jennifer discovers Grace and it is a joy to read about her journey. My favorite line in the book describes how she finally breaks free- She says,
“It was like we had broken out of a lifetime of prison after realizing the door had been unlocked the entire time! “
That reminds us that God has always loved us and always seeks after us. He frees us from the prison of our own wrong thinking and if you want to read a great account of how one woman discovers that than read this book.
Thank you, Jennifer Brewer, for a very uplifting book.
While being honest about the wrongs that were done to her, Jennifer is kind in ascribing the best motives to those who were hurting her. While it would be easy to lash out in rage and hold on to bitterness, Jennifer seeks the higher ground and, in so doing, teaches us to respond with the Love of Christ. To Jennifer, most of those who hurt her didn’t realize what they were doing and only wanted her Salvation.
In the end, Jennifer discovers Grace and it is a joy to read about her journey. My favorite line in the book describes how she finally breaks free- She says,
“It was like we had broken out of a lifetime of prison after realizing the door had been unlocked the entire time! “
That reminds us that God has always loved us and always seeks after us. He frees us from the prison of our own wrong thinking and if you want to read a great account of how one woman discovers that than read this book.
Thank you, Jennifer Brewer, for a very uplifting book.
July 28, 2023
I related to this so much being raised in the UPC so it was healing to read this in a way. It helped me feel less alone in the spiritual abuse I experienced and am still wrestling with. I didn’t rate it 5 stars because she made a few comments about modesty that I don’t agree with. Modesty is still important and a desire God has for us to live out. I think maybe she carried so much resentment towards the way the UPC teaches modesty that she got a little carried away wanting to get away from those standards and didn’t know how to approach modesty anymore.
June 15, 2022
This story felt very personal to me, it opened my eyes to the spiritual abuse I faced growing up. It also opened my eyes to the grace of God, in this we are free.
January 10, 2024
Before I start I would like to say I attend a UPCI church. I believe in the baptism of Jesus Name and speaking in tongues.
Okay here we go! All members of the UPCI should be reading this book. NO not to change your mind on the standards and pull you away from what you wholeheartedly believe in.
BUT to admit there is a HUGE problem in the church. When people don’t believe the same standards you do. When people question and have questions, when people make life physical changes. How we should NOT react! Because the way we have been taught to react causes more hurt than healing!
Reading Jennifer’s book gives you personal insight on how people who leave your church feel! How they are judged and shunned and gossiped about.
NOW let me say this NOT ALL UPCI churches are like this.
Not all pastors & they’re wives are like this.
Not all church members are like this.
BUT the majority of them are! And I speak from experience.
Instead of putting all these issues under the rug, how can we be different?
How can we truly LOVE with no strings attached!
Some of us need a good Bible study on LOVE (love everyone! even those you gossip about & judge and call backsliders)
And above all things have fervent love for one another, for love will cover a multitude of sins.
I Peter 4:8
And 1 Corinthians 13:4-8❤️
Do I agree with everything she said, no. I firmly believe in some things she no longer believes in and that’s COMPLETELY fine! Did she change my mind? No she didn’t. Could I relate to some issues? Yes I did.
Thanks Jennifer for sharing your story with us!
BTW my UPCI brothers and sisters!
Don’t let the title scare you away :)
Okay here we go! All members of the UPCI should be reading this book. NO not to change your mind on the standards and pull you away from what you wholeheartedly believe in.
BUT to admit there is a HUGE problem in the church. When people don’t believe the same standards you do. When people question and have questions, when people make life physical changes. How we should NOT react! Because the way we have been taught to react causes more hurt than healing!
Reading Jennifer’s book gives you personal insight on how people who leave your church feel! How they are judged and shunned and gossiped about.
NOW let me say this NOT ALL UPCI churches are like this.
Not all pastors & they’re wives are like this.
Not all church members are like this.
BUT the majority of them are! And I speak from experience.
Instead of putting all these issues under the rug, how can we be different?
How can we truly LOVE with no strings attached!
Some of us need a good Bible study on LOVE (love everyone! even those you gossip about & judge and call backsliders)
And above all things have fervent love for one another, for love will cover a multitude of sins.
I Peter 4:8
And 1 Corinthians 13:4-8❤️
Do I agree with everything she said, no. I firmly believe in some things she no longer believes in and that’s COMPLETELY fine! Did she change my mind? No she didn’t. Could I relate to some issues? Yes I did.
Thanks Jennifer for sharing your story with us!
BTW my UPCI brothers and sisters!
Don’t let the title scare you away :)
October 16, 2022
I wanted to like this book more.
I am sympathetic to those who come out of the cult culture of the UPC, having spent over twenty-five years of my own life in that bubble. The problem as I see it is that too many people throw the baby out with the bathwater, not knowing what to hold on to or what to let go of. They trade one flawed theological system for another, usually because they never learned how to apply sound exegetical and hermeneutic principles to Bible study. Jennifer has gone through a lot, as have I and many others in the "apostolic" movement. Reading her book I found too many ways that she traded one error for another, and that is unfortunate. Her story is heart-wrenching at times, and I wish her all the best. Her theology, however, needs some refinement.
I would highly recommend Gordon T. Smith's landmark book, "Evangelical, Sacramental, and Pentecostal: Why the Church Should Be All Three" as a helpful corrective to the unhealthy extremes that we often feel pulled toward when questioning our theological heritage. There is much good to be treasured in my pentecostal past, even as I forge ahead with newfound appreciation for evangelical and sacramental perspectives. I continue to love and fellowship with friends in the UPC; I have, however, found that those are waters that I can no longer swim in, not because they are too deep, but because they are too murky. May God grant us all grace as we continue to make our calling and election sure.
I am sympathetic to those who come out of the cult culture of the UPC, having spent over twenty-five years of my own life in that bubble. The problem as I see it is that too many people throw the baby out with the bathwater, not knowing what to hold on to or what to let go of. They trade one flawed theological system for another, usually because they never learned how to apply sound exegetical and hermeneutic principles to Bible study. Jennifer has gone through a lot, as have I and many others in the "apostolic" movement. Reading her book I found too many ways that she traded one error for another, and that is unfortunate. Her story is heart-wrenching at times, and I wish her all the best. Her theology, however, needs some refinement.
I would highly recommend Gordon T. Smith's landmark book, "Evangelical, Sacramental, and Pentecostal: Why the Church Should Be All Three" as a helpful corrective to the unhealthy extremes that we often feel pulled toward when questioning our theological heritage. There is much good to be treasured in my pentecostal past, even as I forge ahead with newfound appreciation for evangelical and sacramental perspectives. I continue to love and fellowship with friends in the UPC; I have, however, found that those are waters that I can no longer swim in, not because they are too deep, but because they are too murky. May God grant us all grace as we continue to make our calling and election sure.
December 26, 2025
Instead of seeking the Holy Ghost, the author sought lies to sin
Like so many who have been or still are in the UPCI and many other organizations, there is no true relationship with the One that SHOULD be the center of it all. From the beginning the author makes it clear she doesn’t even know if she EVER received the gift of the Holy Ghost (Acts 2:1-4), thus no power (Acts 1:8). No actual connection with the One she was living the lifestyle for. After that first experience, no effort to ask God for more until confident she was filled with the Holy Ghost speaking in tongues and having true joy. IN HIS PRESENCE IS FULLNESS OF JOY. It wasn’t about living for God, it was ALL about what others would think and people’s acceptance. They said I got it! Now I fit in, except my last name isn’t the same. Now, I’ll give up my biological dad to fit in. The author blames the UPCI for the show and yet her own words deceive and condemn her. When one is filled with the Holy Ghost, one becomes a new creature (2 Corinthians 5:17). Obviously that didn’t happen and the author had no relationship with the Master. No prayer life. No reading the Word, except for occasional splurges here and there. She contradicts herself so many times, like a wave tossed in the ocean (Ephesians 4:14). She says she wasn’t looking for a way out of the UPCI, but she was searching for a way out… searching without the anointing of God and His Spirit to lead her into all truth and righteousness (John 16:13). Seeking God and the Holy Ghost could have made a great difference in her life and the lives of ALL she affected, especially her innocent children. She wasn’t looking for a license to sin, but let me go drink wine and eat cheesecake now. Let me put that red bikini on, but really, not to tempt others or have others look at me. Come on. She still wants to raise her kids in church, but well, sin is okay now. And now, with this book and blogs, leading others to take the bait of her own sins, lack of self accountability, and absolute disregard in truly seeking King Jesus Christ through the Spirit, instead of her own power and might (Zechariah 4:6). Unfortunately, the author had a great opportunity to live in the beauty of holiness in God, having such great joy and love, but she preferred to blame the organization, pop a xanax, and say, “Now I’m free!” True freedom is found through prayer and reading the Bible until you enter the throne room of God, where there is joy, liberty, love, and life through His Spirit. God is beautiful for situation. Drink the new wine! Not the world’s wine. Get drunk in His Presence, not in the pleasures of sin for a season (Hebrews 11:25). God bless you all in the mighty name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth!!!!!!!
Like so many who have been or still are in the UPCI and many other organizations, there is no true relationship with the One that SHOULD be the center of it all. From the beginning the author makes it clear she doesn’t even know if she EVER received the gift of the Holy Ghost (Acts 2:1-4), thus no power (Acts 1:8). No actual connection with the One she was living the lifestyle for. After that first experience, no effort to ask God for more until confident she was filled with the Holy Ghost speaking in tongues and having true joy. IN HIS PRESENCE IS FULLNESS OF JOY. It wasn’t about living for God, it was ALL about what others would think and people’s acceptance. They said I got it! Now I fit in, except my last name isn’t the same. Now, I’ll give up my biological dad to fit in. The author blames the UPCI for the show and yet her own words deceive and condemn her. When one is filled with the Holy Ghost, one becomes a new creature (2 Corinthians 5:17). Obviously that didn’t happen and the author had no relationship with the Master. No prayer life. No reading the Word, except for occasional splurges here and there. She contradicts herself so many times, like a wave tossed in the ocean (Ephesians 4:14). She says she wasn’t looking for a way out of the UPCI, but she was searching for a way out… searching without the anointing of God and His Spirit to lead her into all truth and righteousness (John 16:13). Seeking God and the Holy Ghost could have made a great difference in her life and the lives of ALL she affected, especially her innocent children. She wasn’t looking for a license to sin, but let me go drink wine and eat cheesecake now. Let me put that red bikini on, but really, not to tempt others or have others look at me. Come on. She still wants to raise her kids in church, but well, sin is okay now. And now, with this book and blogs, leading others to take the bait of her own sins, lack of self accountability, and absolute disregard in truly seeking King Jesus Christ through the Spirit, instead of her own power and might (Zechariah 4:6). Unfortunately, the author had a great opportunity to live in the beauty of holiness in God, having such great joy and love, but she preferred to blame the organization, pop a xanax, and say, “Now I’m free!” True freedom is found through prayer and reading the Bible until you enter the throne room of God, where there is joy, liberty, love, and life through His Spirit. God is beautiful for situation. Drink the new wine! Not the world’s wine. Get drunk in His Presence, not in the pleasures of sin for a season (Hebrews 11:25). God bless you all in the mighty name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth!!!!!!!
September 15, 2024
I am struggling to decide on a rating for this book, and when I find myself in that spot, I usually go to a middle/neutral 3.
I have many shared experiences with the author, both as a part of the church and as someone who has taken a path of questions and research in a search for truth. As a memoir, it is relatable on many points. I would assume for someone who has not been a part of the UPCI, it could be illuminating.
As a call to make sure you search out truth of your beliefs and not simply rest on whatever has been handed to you, whether from family, culture or society in general, I whole-heartedly support that endeavor.
The parts I struggled with was being so specific on people and events, which tended to sound more like a public airing of grievances than anything else. I have no doubt the journey of the writer involved many layers and experiences. I’m just not sure how helpful some of the sharing was.
If the goal of the book was memoir only, then it is what it is. If the goal was to share a story that wanted buy-in and followers, I think the results will be very mixed.
I have many shared experiences with the author, both as a part of the church and as someone who has taken a path of questions and research in a search for truth. As a memoir, it is relatable on many points. I would assume for someone who has not been a part of the UPCI, it could be illuminating.
As a call to make sure you search out truth of your beliefs and not simply rest on whatever has been handed to you, whether from family, culture or society in general, I whole-heartedly support that endeavor.
The parts I struggled with was being so specific on people and events, which tended to sound more like a public airing of grievances than anything else. I have no doubt the journey of the writer involved many layers and experiences. I’m just not sure how helpful some of the sharing was.
If the goal of the book was memoir only, then it is what it is. If the goal was to share a story that wanted buy-in and followers, I think the results will be very mixed.
September 15, 2020
Loved this sweet book that I literally stumbled upon the other day! I’ve been out of the UPC for 30 years and have long since gotten over my bitterness. But her story resonated with me and I understood and could relate to every word. I, also started a blog for my healing. And I also finally understood the simplicity of the gospel and the meaning of grace. It became my story and my song and still is and will forever be! Blessings to you, Jennifer, in your walk with the Lord and as you read the Bible without a UPC lens. His Word never gets old and I’m amazed every day!
August 16, 2021
This book is spot on!
“I would love for those still in the religion to understand, the way they treat those who have left matters. Their words and actions affect people for lifetimes.”
“It was like we had broken out of a lifetime of prison after realizing the door had been unlocked the entire time.”
“The difference between a religion and a cult is what happens when you try to leave.” Mike Rinder
“I would love for those still in the religion to understand, the way they treat those who have left matters. Their words and actions affect people for lifetimes.”
“It was like we had broken out of a lifetime of prison after realizing the door had been unlocked the entire time.”
“The difference between a religion and a cult is what happens when you try to leave.” Mike Rinder
July 7, 2025
I did not grow up in the UPC but in a very similar fundamentalist religion/environment. This book was encouraging and familiar. When you are coming out of these type of situations hearing others stories really helps simply to know you are not alone and there is life out there.
August 7, 2020
This book is certainly an eye-opener and our hearts should go out to any person who has lived under this type of deception.
August 7, 2021
Interesting read. I was in the UPC for about 3 years until shortly after I got married and have been out for 33 years. I am SO glad I’m not in that organization anymore!!!!
May 3, 2023
This is an excellent book! The author in a loving way describes the process she went through leaving legalism and entering freedom in God's love.
May 20, 2023
Resonated with me
I really enjoyed reading this book. Jennifer's story resonated with me. Healing from spiritual abuse is not a quick thing but there is hope.
I really enjoyed reading this book. Jennifer's story resonated with me. Healing from spiritual abuse is not a quick thing but there is hope.
August 23, 2023
Amazing story of waking up and leaving a cult.
July 16, 2021
Having the opportunity to read through someone else's experiences and perspective regarding their experience in this organization was definitely insightful and revealing. Many people throughout various similar organizations are going through/have gone through similar experiences and having an opportunity to see how the author handles it is appreciated.
March 18, 2021
This. All the feels. If you know, then you know
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews