The Museum of Horrors

by Dennis Etchison (Editor), Joyce Carol Oates (Contributor), Conrad Williams (Contributor)

A spinetingling collection, filled with all things gruesome and terrifying, features eighteen stories from such contributors as Peter Straub, Richard Laymon, Ramsey Campbell, Joyce Carol Oates, Charles L. Grant, and Lisa Morton. Original.

Genres: Horror, Anthologies, Short Stories, Fiction, Short Story Collection

369 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published January 1, 2001

About the author

aka Jack Martin.

Dennis William Etchison was an American writer and editor of fantasy and horror fiction. He is a multi-award winner, having won the British Fantasy Award three times for fiction, and the World Fantasy Award for anthologies he edited.

Reviews

[Phil · Rating 2 out of 5]

An amazingly boring collection of horror short stories, The Museum of Horrors was put together by the Horror Writer's Association in 2001. I know this won some awards, but only a few of the stories were even interesting. Straub's "Perdido" was fun, but more of an outline of a novel than a true novella. Somtow's "The Bird Catcher" was probably the best of the lot, and that rated maybe 3 stars. Recommended as a sleep aid.

[Lisa (Harmonybites) · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm sorry to say this is bound to be a cranky review. But then I find nothing more annoying than a mediocre short story anthology. Were The Museum of Horrors a novel, I could have closed it after about 50 pages concluding it wasn't worth my time. But with this, I lurched from story to story hoping to strike gold. Disappointing since since this was billed in the back cover as the "Winner of the World Fantasy Award for Best Anthology of the Year." I can't even say that this collection of eighteen "all new stories" were a whole greater than its parts. With an original anthology you can't cherry-pick tales, so often a strong theme is part of what makes it work. In this case, only three of the stories incorporated even a mention of a museum. The front of the book announced the book featured "Peter Straub, Joyce Carol Oates, Richard Laymon, Ramsey Campbell and others." Obviously these four are the authors they considered the biggest draw, and certainly Straub, Oates, Campbell (and Charles L. Grant) were the only names I recognized included in the collection.

In the case of Straub, if you look at the contents page, his contribution "Perdido" is subtitled "A Fragment from a Work in Progress." That's something I expect from Fan Fiction Net--not professional publishing, and particularly inexcusable as it takes up 50 pages of the 370-page book. Joyce Carol Oates provides one of the two novellas in the anthology, a story she thinks highly enough of to be the title story in a collection of her own. She's an author with a lot of literary creds, a National Book Award winner and Pulitzer Prize nominee. I found myself underwhelmed by the two novels by her I had tried, We Were the Mulvaneys and Black Water, so I had low expectations, but at first thought this might work. Her "The Museum of Dr. Moses" was macabre and creepy, the story well-written and atmospheric without seeming sloppy or affected in style like the previous works I had tried by her--but ultimately the ending fell flat. It says a lot about this collection that it still was among the strongest stories in the book. I really liked Ramsey Campbell's novel The House on Nazareth Hill and his "Worse Than Bones" was nominated for Best Short Fiction in the 2002 International Horror Guild Awards. I thought it a rather routine ghost story however and not gracefully written. And Richard Laymon? His "Hammerhead" is supposedly a humor piece (that looks into the mind of a serial killer), but I found it so gruesome from the start that I skipped the rest after a couple of pages--and I can say that about only one other story in the collection. (The other being William F. Nolan's "In Real Life" which changed perspectives so much I felt dizzy.) Robert Devereaux's "Apologia" about Jesus and Judas is obviously meant to be edgy and brave. As an essay I might have found its points convincing and interesting. But as a story not only did it confusingly jump all over the place, it just seemed mean-spirited. (And I'm an atheist with plenty of issues with Christianity, so if I find the story borderline offensive I can only imagine how a Christian might feel.) And the above stories didn't even come close to being the one I hated the most. No, that would be Joel Lane's sickening "The Window", a story with BDSM trappings involving a middle-aged pederast and his abuse of a troubled teen. Stories I found silly and lame included Peter Atkin's "King of Outer Space", Melanie Tem's "Piano Bar Blues," Gordon Linzner's "Author, Author," and Th. Melzger's "Transorbital Love Probe," which I do have to give points for weirdness. It is memorable.

So that covers 11 of the 18 stories. Were there any stories I did like? Yes, but except in one case, only mildly, rather than in a I-wish-I-could-write-like-this or "Wow, I didn't expect that" way. There are six stories I'd rate three stars rather than only one like the above:

Tom Piccirilli, "Those Vanished I Recognize" - Chilling and with more emotional impact than any story in the collection.
Darren O. Godfrey, "Inland, Shoreline" - I liked how this piece intercut the two time-frames and the ending was about the only one I found even a bit surprising.
Conrad Williams, "Imbroglio" - A stylishly written disturbing story about an ordinary boy, his family--and a brush with a serial killer.
Susan Fry, "The Impressionists in Winter" - The one period piece, it was an atmospheric and well-written ghost story.
Charles L. Grant, "Whose Ghosts These Are" - I'd heard of Grant, a Nebula Award winner, as one of the best writers of Urban Fantasy out there. I don't know I can say this story of a retired cop impressed me, but it was well-written and with deft characterizations--even if I saw the ending coming from the first mention of "the Ghost guy."
Lisa Morton, "Pound Rots in Fragrant Harbour" - This struck me as a twisty little variation on the classic "deal with the devil" story and was absorbing and well written. My only complaint was that I found one aspect of the ending unnecessary and crass.

And finally there was one story that did impress me, S. P. Somtow's "The Bird Catcher," which unsurprisingly won Best Novella in the World Fantasy Award. It's set in Thailand where Somtow has family and has visited, which is no surprise giving how vividly he evoked the story's setting. So a third of the stories I liked and one I thought haunting and all in all amazing. Enough to redeem the anthology and make it worth reading as a whole? Not really, but enough to push my rating to two stars.

[Donald Armfield · Rating 2 out of 5]

From back of cover: Here for the first time in paperback are eighteen original tales of terror and the grotesque

Those two underlined words fit three of the tales. The other 15 makes good shorts, but couldn't scare a seven year old. Glad I only bought this for a dollar.

These are my favorite and only Hammerhead fits "TERROR AND GROTESQUE"

Kings of Outer Space by Peter Akins: a little trip of sci-fi and where her husband is? 3.5 stars

Inland, Shoreline by Darren O. Godfrey: a boys dad is nothing to him. "good shot dad" the boy says on a hunting trip. His cousin was the entended target, years later the boy has his target..... 4 stars

Hammerhead by Richard Laymon: has to be the best out of the whole collection. A man beats people in the head with a hammer and gives us a front row seat. 5 solid stars.

[Chrystal Hays · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another outstanding anthology of contemporary horror, featuring some of the best names in the business, and a few newcomers.

Melanie Tem's "Piano Bar Blues" was a little predictable, for me.

Peter Straub's "Perdido: Fragment from a Work on Progress" really makes me want him to finish the work.

"The Bird Catcher" by S. P. Somtow is haunting and poignant and perfectly creepy.

A great collection in a mass market paperback, making me think I should stop shunning the little size if it is not available larger...

[Shawn · Rating 3 out of 5]

PLACEHOLDER REVIEW:

Had occasion to re-read one story here: "Pound Rots In Fragrant Harbor" and adjusted my rating down from a solid Good to a flawed Good. The story of a man who made a deal with some unknown power for an extended life, and now finds his debt coming due as his body rots away, poisoning those around him, and how his destiny intersects with a young Chinese girl who has been given a mission in life. Not bad, but a bit more on the "dark fantasy" side of things.

[Popo9694 · Rating 2 out of 5]

If you’re looking for “horror” here, just crack open this book at the book store, flip over to Richard Laymon’s “Hammerhead,” read it, then close the book and put it back on the shelf. From beginning to end, it was difficult to get through and boring as hell.

[John Bruni · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a solid horror anthology. Not that I'm surprised, considering the stellar line up. There are very few stinkers in this one. These tales are so good that it's impossible to choose a favorite. One of the highlights for me was "The Museum of Dr. Moses" by Joyce Carol Oates. I'm not a huge fan of hers, but this is above and beyond for her. Then there's "Those Vanished I Recognize" by Tom Piccirilli, which has one of the most depressing endings I've ever read. You can never go wrong with Richard Laymon, whose "Hammerhead" is a convincing argument for outlawing hammers. "Imbroglio" by Conrad Williams is one of the grimmest serial killer stories I've come upon. "Pound Rots in Fragrant Harbour" by Lisa Morton is a nasty, gross little tale with a lot more going on in it than one realizes at first. "Apologia" by Robert Devereaux tells the tale of Jesus from Judas's POV in a very interesting way (I love the conclusion he reaches at the end). And to crown it all off is S.P. Somtow's "The Bird Catcher," which will fill you with dread, but not in the way you think. This book should be in every horror fan's collection.

[Bryan Whitehead · Rating 3 out of 5]

At first glance I figured the Horror Writers Association was going to attempt another theme anthology along the same lines as the Freak Show volume edited by F. Paul Wilson a few years back. But if that was the game, only three of the contributors – Joyce Carol Oates, Charles L. Grant and S.P. Somtow – bothered to even pretend to play by the rules. That by itself was disappointment enough, because I’m a big fan of horror stories set in dark, dusty dens of collected antiquity. But even beyond failure to conform to a common theme, several of the authors included herein really let editor Dennis Etchison down. Some of them seem to be pushing stuff off on the HWA that they were probably having trouble selling elsewhere. The grand prize for reader abuse should probably be split between Richard Laymon (c’mon Ricky, splatterpunk is dead; I couldn’t even finish your disastrously dreadful offering) and Peter Straub (a fragment of a novella you may never bother to finish? You’re good, Pete, but you ain’t that good). Overall if I hadn’t come into the experience with such high expectations I think I would have liked this a lot more than I did.

[Aurora Dimitre · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is so funny to have Richard Laymon in this mix. Like, he’s in here with Joyce Carol Oates. What is this man doing here?

Coincidentally, Laymon’s story was the most interesting. These stories are not particularly horrifying. Mostly, they’re tragedies. There are a lot of ghost stories here, and they’re all very sad, and a lot of them are good stories, I just wouldn’t call them good horror stories. When I think of a good horror anthology, I think of like, Book of the Dead. Book of the Dead definitely hits. Also had a Laymon story, but it felt more in-place there.

I dunno. I’ve read from a number of the authors in this collection—Laymon, of course, Oates, Picarilli, Straub. Out of those four, Straub’s was the most frustrating, because it wasn’t finished. Straub admitted in an author’s note that it wasn’t finished. Why did you put it here then? Hello?

Overall—skip it? I dunno, it wasn’t what I was expecting and it wasn’t what I was wanting.

[Kirsten · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nice collection of short stories. The Peter Straub story was a little disappointing, because it was an exerpt from a novel he acknowledges will probably never be completed, and it's really incomplete as a story. Other than that, this is a good mix of stories that tend toward "intellectual" and spooky horror rather than just blood and guts.

[Alex McConnell · Rating 2 out of 5]

This must be the least scary horror anthology I’ve ever read. Which truly is saying something because I’ve read a boatload of them.
The Museum of Horrors won the world fantasy award for best anthology that year and I can only guess it was because of the standing of the contributors. The anthology is a who’s who of contemporary horror authors, some of who have been in the field half a century, yet aside from being “well written” (which is to say overly wordy and convoluted) these tales lack memorability or bite. It’s called Museum of Horrors people, maybe have a scary monster in there somewhere.
But no. We get Tom Piccrilli driving up and down a highway being sad, Peter Straub dumping a clearly unfinished novella then having to explain it at the end and Robert Devereaux explaining (not well) Judas’s side of the whole Jesus story.
In complete honesty I felt there to be only a couple of memorable tales in the group. Laymons “Hammerhead”, classic psycho killer. Susan Fry’s “The Impressionists in Winter”, a creepy ghost story. Lisa Morton’s “Pound Rots in Fragrant Harbour”, a continent spanning tale of greed and immortality.
In summary this book should have been much better with the heavy hitters involved. The cheap attempt to wrap the stories in a Museum narrative also misses completely, leaving the reader to wonder Why.

[Carol Waters · Rating 3 out of 5]

Who chose this type font? It appears to be about eight or nine point and it’s making my eyes fuzz over. It takes away a lot of the pleasure of the book because I have to keep wiggling around to get the light on the page properly. The stories were uneven, with some exceptionally well done and some that seem to have simply been tossed into the mix. I really enjoyed Peter Straub’s selection and then got to the end and discovered whoops this was the start of something he never finished. Not the best collection I’ve ever read. It should be about 200 pages longer given the size of the type.

[Ava · Rating 4 out of 5]

Picked this up because 1) it's an HWA anthology 2) it's a horror anthology with more than one woman included which is surprisingly hard to find and 3) it's called the Museum of Horrors, which is like two of my favorite concepts put together. While many of the stories were not on-theme at all, to my disappointment, they were still quite enjoyable and I didn't skip any, which is rare for me in an anthology.

[Eric · Rating 1 out of 5]

My expectations were high for this book, considering the lineup. Unfortunately, there are far too many stinkers to rate this any higher than a 1. The Oates story was probably the best, even with the anti-climactic ending. Others ranged from merely decent to downright stupid and pointless. Not worth anyone's time.

[Cail Judy]

Bit of a misnomer to call this book “read” — I took it out of the VPL to read one Charles L. Grant story called “Whose Ghosts These Are.” A quiet, spooky story about a retired beat cop looking for a hobby and finding something else. Sought Grant out based on the recommendation of Nathan Ballingrud, who wrote WOUNDS.

[Robert Kline · Rating 4 out of 5]

I rather enjoyed most of the short stories in this compilation of horror. Like most collections of fiction, there were some I really enjoyed and some that were just not my cup of tea, but most of the tales get held my interest enough to keep reading.

I loved Peter Straub’s “Perdido”. Even though the story was never actually finished by the writer, the set up of the tale was fascinating.

[Marilyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

As with most short story collections some I liked and some I didn't. They ranged from the just creepy to the disgusting to the WTH did I just read. I was disappointed in the Peter Straub story. I always liked his novels, but this short story just stopped. I don't want to give anything away, but I had one big question about what was going on and it never got answered.

[Anthony Davies · Rating 3 out of 5]

There are some good stories in this compendium, but it is not in the least bit scary, so the title is a little misleading. These stories would not be out of place in Roald Dahl’s Tales of the Unexpected , but for the most part, don’t belong in a horror collection

[Belinda A. Allen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some gems in this anthology most especially S.P. Somtow "The Bird Catcher" other excellence by Lisa Merton, Joyce Carol Oates and Peter Straub.

[Sean · Rating 2 out of 5]

A small number of very good stories gets a little overwhelmed by the decidedly weaker three-quarters or so.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some great ones in here. The Bird Catcher sticks out, as does The Window and Those Vanished I Recognize.

[Nick · Rating 2 out of 5]

This collection of stories was pretty hit and miss. And sadly for me, it came down a little heavy on the miss side. Many were dull and plodding, others attempted to be overly intellectual or artsy when they didn't need to, and others just seemed to go nowhere. And come to think of it, that seems to be a major flaw in many horror collections I've read lately.

There were a few stories I enjoyed though. "Worse than Bones" by Ramsey Campbell, "Those Vanished I Recognize" by Tom Piccirilli, "Inland, Shoreline" by Darren O. Godfrey, and "Transorbital Love Probe" by Th. Metzger were the standout pieces for me.

And I cannot fail to mention Richard Laymon's little work of nastiness, "Hammerhead," which was a welcome bit of fun depravity after slogging through snoozers like "Piano Bar Blues" by Melanie Tem, although it hardly seemed to fit with the rest of the collection.

[Tabitha · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is an okay set of stories. Doesn't seem to represent the best work from the authors involved. (I'm looking at you Peter Straub, Mr. Here's-a-rough-draft-of-a-chapter-of-my-new-book.)
Some of the stories are plenty creepy, some are just really weird. 'Transorbital Love Probe' is exactly as strange as you might assume from the title. Also, tellingly, the only story in the whole book that really stood out from the rest for me. I've seen this one at a couple Goodwill's, and worth the .99 they charge for a paperback, for sure.

[Timothy Freigant · Rating 3 out of 5]

To be honest, I was kind of disappointed. A lot of the stories I just really didn't get into. Richard Laymon as always didn't disappoint and is the reason why I gave it a three but all the other stories were just I felt like crap like we have to publish this book quickly lets just throw these stories and say it is horror. Heck the second to last story was somewhat offensive as a christian talking about how Judas betrayed Jesus.

[Mosker · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good written horror is like televised comedy--harder than it looks and this selection managed to avoid the mediocrity most anthologies have except...

...it loses a star for the Peter Straub work in progress (silly me, I thought that in the title meant metafiction.) There are enough heavy hitters (Whoa! Joyce Carol Oates! ) to not need this, and the Straub was pretty good too.

[Jared · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a collection of short stories. I started by reading "The Museum of Dr. Moses" by Joyce Carol Oates. It was fantastic up until the ending, which in my opinion was incredibly disappointing and uninteresting. I could think of a couple different ways I would've ended it, all of which are better than what it had. After that, the other stories I read were decent, but not stellar.

[Kelly · Rating 2 out of 5]

Honestly pretty disappointed with the majority of the stories included. A few gems, but the others left me way wanting. In all, I purchased the book as a way to check out different horror writers--the book served its purpose.

[krin · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a good collection of horror tales. Ones I liked included "Piano Bar Blues" by Melanie Tem and "Hammerhead"by Richard Laymon.

[Mark · Rating 2 out of 5]

Horror stories with psychological edge, edited by master of psychological horror. Sometimes, monsters are us.