Gary Trosclair explores the power of the driven personality and the positive outcomes those with obsessive compulsive personality disorder can achieve through a mindful program of harnessing the skills that can work, and altering those that serve no one. If you were born with a compulsive personality you may become rigid, controlling, and self-righteous. But you also may become productive, energetic, and conscientious. Same disposition, but very different ways of expressing it. What determines the difference? Some of the most successful and happy people in the world are compelled by powerful inner urges that are almost impossible to resist. They’re compulsive. They’re driven. But some people with a driven personality feel compelled by shame or insecurity to use their compulsive energy to prove their worth, and they lose control of the wheel of their own life. They become inflexible and critical perfectionists who need to wield control, and they lose the point of everything they do in the process. A healthy compulsive is one whose energy and talents for achievement are used consciously in the service of passion, love and purpose. An unhealthy compulsive is one whose energy and talents for achievement have been hijacked by fear and its henchman, anger. Both are one by meaning, the other by dread. The Healthy Healing Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder and Taking the Wheel of the Driven Personality, will serve as the ultimate user’s guide for those with a driven personality, including those who have slid into obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD). Unlike OCD, which results in specific symptoms such as repetitive hand-washing and intrusive thoughts, OCPD permeates the entire personality and dramatically affects relationships. It also requires a different approach to healing. Both scientifically informed and practical, The Healthy Compulsive describes how compulsives get off track and outlines a four-step program to help them consciously cultivate the talents and passions that are the truly compelling sources of the driven personality. Drawing from his 25 years of clinical experience as a psychotherapist and Jungian psychoanalyst, and his own personal experience as someone with a driven personality, Trosclair offers understanding, inspiring stories of change, and hope to compulsives and their partners about how to move to the healthy end of the compulsive spectrum.
I'm very obsessive, and even more compulsive........and this book is screwing me over...instead of helping me it is making things worse...... The problem being that three months ago I had read three quarters through the book and was was on the verge of finishing when I foolishly and then lent it out to a needy "friend"......who then failed to return it....YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE BAD FRIEND....if you are reading this the how about you return my F...ing book......meanwhile I can't wait any longer to write this review...it is driving me mental....if I had finished the book I could have gotten to the section which instructed me on how to self manage my obsessive behaviours and compulsive need to be productive..I would then not worry so much about needing to finish the book....I would not have to ruminate about my failed reading goals, ...Hear I am at 1am, unable to sleep, trying to finish my book reviews and organize my book shelves. I could be sleeping blissfully and and dreaming of piss farting around doing nothing and watching netflicks while snorting tequila....but no...Instead its the early morning hours and much like and OCD vampire I am inexorably driven to finish my book review, organize my sock draw, plan my weekly calendar, triple check the windows, berate myself for a social faux pax I committed twelve years ago, check my diary to ensure I haven't missed anything, weight myself, do some ab crunches, recheck the windows and retire to my doona for a thoroughly unrefreshing nights sleeps, lamenting how if only I could have finished the above book my life could have change forever, but now the window of opportunity is lost and I am doomed to rot in the obsessive hell of my own making...... f..k you book thief, you may have won this round, but vengeance is a dish best served cold, and obsessives never forget....one serving of Gaspacio vengeance soup coming up, make it extra cold with and extra helping of polonium......The book by the way was pretty good, but that is now totally besides the point and totally irrelevant....if you chose to buy it, which you should, head my warning...don't lend it out to anyone, ever......
Do you relate with following behaviours - • Excessive devotion to work that impairs social and family activities • Excessive fixation with lists, rules and minor details • Perfectionism that interferes with finishing tasks • Rigid following of moral and ethical codes • Unwillingness to assign tasks unless others perform exactly as asked • Lack of generosity; extreme frugality without reason • Hoarding behaviours
If you showcase more than 1 of these behaviours, you may have traits of OCPD which is a lesser-known, lesser researched personality disorder than similar OCD. Not many books are there for the general public on this topic. Gary has given a 4 step framework but more than that the book helps you to understand why you do, what you do. Overall it is a wonderful book, especially for those who have minor traits and thus self-realisation with the help of this book can be very helpful for them.
Trosclair's The Healthy Compulsive is one of two "layperson's" books on OCPD.
In this book, Trosclair draws on 25 years of clinical practice to describe OCDP individuals at home and at work. He is open about OCPDs strength's and weaknesses, the challenges they face, and the effects that OCPD can have on family life and relationships. If you have OCPD, or are living with someone that you think has OCPD, then this book will be immensely helpful to you.
Below a quick overview of what to expect:
Chapter 1 - Identifying the Driven Personality: gives a run-down of the DSM-5 criteria for OCPD and their limitations. Gary's view is more holistic, suggesting that (as with ADHD) there are both healthy and unhealthy spectra of compulsive behaviour, and that individuals can slide between these in their lifetimes. I particularly enjoyed Gary's comments on OCPD and modern society (it's a rewarded form of neurodivergence), OCPD prevalence (he thinks 1 in 12 people are on the spectrum), OCPD versus OCD, and OCPD, masking, suicide, and depression (mildly terrifying, to be honest).
Chapter 2 - How Did I Get This Way: explores the family background of OCDP. While I'm sceptical of oversimplifying people's personalities based on childhood experiences, Trosclair handles this section skilfully. Expect to hear about genetic predisposition, epigenetics, perception, family histories, and coping mechanisms.
Chapter 3 - Four Steps to Becoming a Healthier Compulsive: describes the psychotherapeutic process. This is followed by Chapter 4 - Identify Your Story to Develop Insight, Chapter 5 - Engage Emotionally with Deeper Layers of Feeling, Chapter 6 - Cultivate Meaning and Chapter 7 - Taking Action. If you've been in therapy before, then you can probably skip past this. If you haven't, then these chapters might help you. YMMV.
Chapter 8 - Body: is a short discussion of how OCPD can show up in the body. It's fiiine, but not particularly long or detailed. Fans of The Body Keeps the Score will probably be underwhelmed here.
Chapter 9 - Time and Money: is definitely worthwhile. Trosclair draws on 25 years of clinical practise to explore OCPD's relationship with 'waste' (wasted time, wasted money, wasted resources, hoarding...), and it is enlightening.
Chapter 10 - Work and Career: also worthwhile. Partners of OCDP will frequently wonder whether they married a spreadsheet or a spouse, and Trosclair delivers lots of 'aha' moments here. Highlights include: work addiction (and withdrawal), perfectionism, burnout, distraction, avoidance and neglect.
Chapter 11 - People, Partners and Parenting: offers a fascinating look at OCPD from the child’s perspective and the impact of OCPD parents on their children. Trosclair challenges the misconception that OCPD parents don’t care, explaining that their love is often expressed in different ways, like providing financially for their family. Of course, there may be a gap between what the parent intended and what the child experiences - and Trosclair does a great job of deconstructing this. In addition to discussing common OCPD parenting strategies and their (side) effects, Gary also reminds OCPD parents that "perfect" is the enemy of good. A must read for OCPD families.
Chapter 12 -Rest and Play: discusses vacation anxiety. Yes, that's a thing.
Chapter 13 -Psychological Growth:very Jungian and wholesome. I preferred the chapter on vacation anxiety..
Chapter 14 -Support for the Compulsive's Journey: explores the various kinds of therapies available (CBT, psychodynamic), along with support groups, meditation, and the pros and cons of going solo.
Chapter 15 -Support and Suggestions for the Compulsive's Partner: probably deserves a book of its own. According to Trosclair, one in twelve people sit on the compulsive spectrum - that's a lot of relationships.
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TL;DR: despite my misgivings, this is a decent (and hopeful) introduction to OCPD with a meaty bibliography. For more, see the author's the healthy compulsive podcast.
Whatever your parents and environment were like, one of the most influential factors in your development was whether you had a sense of security in your relationships, and a sense that it was safe being yourself in those relationships. Even rigid and overprotective parenting doesn’t necessarily turn you into an unhealthy compulsive—if your parents forge strong relationships with you.
Children who don’t form secure attachments with their caregivers, and so don’t feel that they can be themselves, are more likely to suffer from OCPD.19 If you have controlling parents, but you also have a strong connection with them, you are less likely to develop OCPD.
before you were old enough to realize what you were doing, you began to develop a strategy that helped you to cope with the fit between your predisposition and your environment. Those with a good fit and a secure environment could follow their passions out of desire rather than fear. But many driven people who were born into an environment where they felt insecure had to use their energy and talent to try to feel more secure. To the degree that they needed to do this, they became healthy or unhealthy compulsives
Some of the strategies that driven people adopt to feel more secure are proving they’re virtuous, being perfect, planning so as to avoid catastrophes and criticism, and attaining achievement.
He was born with a driven personality into a family where rules were paramount. Following rules was the surest way to avoid punishment and shame—the belt from his authoritarian father and the silent treatment from his depressed mother. There were few options to get praise, an essential ingredient for human development.
When we first started mapping out Frank’s psyche, the only part of himself that he was aware of was his determination to do the right thing and get other people to do the right thing. This was a strong parental voice, always admonishing him to be good. At times this parental voice took on the tone of a Prophet, telling everyone else in the world what the right thing was for them to do. Because his actual parents weren’t available to take their proper role, this Parental Prophet came to dominate Frank’s personality as he tried to keep his brothers and sisters in line. This emphasis on guiding others was a large part of his identity.
One danger for compulsives is that anger may feel completely justified, as if expressing anger is the moral thing to do. People with road rage feel that they should be teaching the other person a lesson. Righteous indignation often spoils relations between compulsives and the people around them. Their anger can lead them to be aggressive and even violent, or it can take its toll in less obvious ways. For example, suppressed anger may turn into righteousness, judgment, resentment, and stubbornness—all of which may lead you to indulge in passive- aggressive behavior, withholding the things that you know other people want or expect from you. Frank could be direct with some people, but with other people—like his siblings—he would just stop talking to them in order to silently punish them.
Beneath the sense of determination and urgency that many compulsives are usually aware of often lies a deep fear of not measuring up, and consequently of being punished or rejected. This fear, however, often isn’t conscious, and it produces a more generalized and chronic sense of foreboding and dread. They don’t know what it is they fear. Many theorists attribute compulsive behavior entirely to this sort of anxiety. According to this hypothesis, accomplishing tasks is simply their way of trying to silence anxiety. It’s far more complicated than that, but this strategy is certainly part of the equation.
Many compulsives avoid anxiety by trying to control the future and trying not to make any mistakes. This can be adaptive in a practical way, but very destructive emotionally. It’s better to learn to find a way to handle inevitable roadblocks and personal errors than to spend your life trying to prevent them.
As much as compulsives may avoid emotion, they can also get stuck in it. There are many reasons for this. One is that they don’t let themselves fully experience the deepest layers of their emotion. It doesn’t flow as it would normally, diminishing with time and acknowledgment. Another reason is that because they are perfectionistic, they won’t allow themselves to be happy until everything, and I mean everything, is fixed. Whether it’s a toenail that needs trimming or world peace that needs winning, compulsives find it hard to rest until their issues are resolved. Because they’re good at tolerating frustration and delaying gratification, this can go on for a very long time—for some, their entire life. This is why compulsives often have a reputation for being constantly grumpy. It’s why unhealthy compulsives develop the habit of discontent.
Money promises control and predictability, and as a compulsive, you’re in danger of trying to get more money to get more control. More often it delivers stress. As Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “Money often costs too much.” True, you do need a certain amount of it to be secure and comfortable, but the unhealthy compulsive is at risk of making it their god, of giving it far more importance than is needed. If you aren’t clear what’s important to you, money may fill the vacuum. It may become an end rather than a means. Think of Ebenezer Scrooge.
they feel they need to prove their value because they feel insecure, and because they feel they need all the time, money, and energy they can muster to prove themselves, they speed up their tempo and hold tightly to whatever they have. Or, as children they feel that their autonomy, individuality, and independence, their very essence, are at risk, and they react by controlling, by clinging to their money and time as symbols of their freedom.
Work may become a form of self-medication,9 trying to make yourself feel better without addressing the real problem of insecurity, anger, depression, or emptiness.
> Many unhealthy compulsives did not achieve a secure sense of attachment in their families, and they’re often hyperalert to the possibility of being abandoned.
The real life person examples have great tips on how to manage the same overall behavior that develops from different manifestations and reasoning.
Much of OCPD talk is about how difficult it is to have a relationship (platonic or romantic) with someone who has OCPD, but this book took it a step further by explaining why OCPD can come about and how the underlying feeling/desire of the compulsive behavior is often based on caring for others, strong ethical beliefs, and quelling anxiety.
Excellent book about the pitfalls and potential treatments of OCPD (or recovering perfectionists like myself). Yet another book I would like to re-read periodically.
"The Healthy Compulsive" by Gary Trosclair is a remarkable and insightful exploration of obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD) and the driven personality. Drawing on his extensive experience as a psychotherapist, Trosclair offers readers a profound understanding of the underlying drivers and complexities of OCPD, while providing invaluable guidance for those seeking to transform their "driven" tendencies into a healthier, more fulfilling way of being.
One of the book's greatest strengths is Trosclair's ability to vividly capture the lived experience of individuals with OCPD. Through poignant anecdotes and case studies, he sheds light on the intense drive, perfectionism, and emotional detachment that often characterize the driven personality. Readers with OCPD will find themselves nodding in recognition as Trosclair deftly articulates the internal struggles and conflicting motivations that can dominate their lives.
Importantly, the author does not simply present OCPD as a disorder to be "fixed." Instead, he frames it as a personality style with both strengths and weaknesses, and outlines a path towards harnessing the positive aspects of compulsivity while mitigating the harmful effects. The four-step framework he outlines – developing insight, engaging emotionally, clarifying aspirations, and committing to aligned actions – provides a comprehensive and accessible roadmap for personal transformation.
Throughout the book, Trosclair skillfully weaves together insights from psychology, philosophy, and spirituality, demonstrating a deep understanding of the multifaceted nature of OCPD. His exploration of the "Inner Game" – the interplay between the conscious, controlling ego and the more intuitive, authentic self – is particularly illuminating, echoing the work of thinkers like Timothy Gallwey and Carl Jung.
While the book may at times feel repetitive in its emphasis on certain key concepts, this repetition ultimately serves to solidify the reader's understanding and reinforce the importance of Trosclair's central themes. The repetition also helps to address the complex, entrenched nature of OCPD, acknowledging that change is a gradual, multilayered process.
The book's final sections, which delve into the application of the author's framework to various domains of life, such as work, relationships, and psychological growth, further enhance its practical utility. Readers will appreciate the concrete, nuanced guidance Trosclair provides for navigating these challenging areas.
Overall, "The Healthy Compulsive" is a remarkable and valuable resource for individuals struggling with OCPD, as well as for the loved ones and professionals who support them. Trosclair's empathetic, non-judgmental approach, combined with his deep expertise, make this book an essential read for anyone seeking to understand and transform the driven personality. Its insights and strategies will undoubtedly empower readers to embrace their compulsive tendencies in a healthier, more fulfilling way.
i just finished reading this book and i love it very much i got diagnosed with OCPD sometime before summer started and ive been following Gary Trosclair's podcast since then (if you havent checked it out yet and enjoyed this book you definitely should) and i decided to order the book. A lot of the examples in the book also resonated with me, i have a lot of work to do on "letting go" :]
Not a lot of books out there yet on OCPD, so I particularly appreciated a take on the subject from somebody who "gets it", who has the disorder himself, the fact that Gary Trosclair is also a pychotherapist is icing on the cake. I'm so glad to see he has a website, blog, youtube channel and podcast, which I'll be avidly following. I definitely want to read his other book too since he explains things so lucidly. He touches on some essential ideas like Inner Family Systems work, shadow work, processing emotions, etc.
I'll dip back into this book to make some pertinent notes, including checking out the bibliography and other references cited. There was certainly a lot in there to think about, much of which I'm already familiar with, but with some new insights to boot. It hadn't occured to me before that OCPD shares many traits with workaholism, the same driven nature, for which there is a 12-step group apparently. In the meantime, the main mantra from my reading for me to keep in my head for the moment is "slow down" and "good enough not perfection".
Very readable, clear and well written (I think there was just one single sentence in the whole book that was a little ambiguous for me but I kinda guessed the meaning), I particularly appreciated the 'end of chapter summary' practical pointers. I sometimes chuckled to myself at the advice, which went along the lines of "stop walking so fast" or "read a novel occasionally instead of self-help books", something OCPDs need reminding about lol.
I see the author is interested in Jungian psychology, and I imagine he is familiar with the Enneagram, in particular the Type 1, the 'Reformer', which resembles the OCPD character the most. There are many things in this book that reflect and reinforce what I'm learning about in other enneagram books about the Type 1, and the kind of advice and guidelines I'm picking up on.
I would have liked a much more in-depth, incremental step-by-step follow-up of a patient's progress throughout therapy in the book to make the book come more alive and stimulating. It would especially have been nice to have had more 'amusing' (or should I say 'tragic'?) everyday examples of OCPD behaviour which the reader can surely identify with, such as the lady who researches like mad before a holiday to find the perfect hotel, restaurant, reading ALL the reviews, etc, or whenever she needs to buy a product, which unfortunately is very relateable and alas, can literally waste months and months of an OCPD's precious time. Reading about other real people out there with the same specific challenges, whose obsessions and compulsions get in the way of efficiency and productivity, is 'comforting' in so far as at least one feels less alone and more understood sharing the same weird personality traits.
In all this is a nice easy primer book for getting to know the OCPD. A deeper, more detailed book would be much appreciated, perhaps in terms of the author's own story and how he overcame his own challenges or with a patient (or several) he has treated. Perhaps integrating ideas from the enneagram, perhaps incorporating Jung's archtypes as they pertain to the OCPD character. In my own experience my dreams are constantly showing me my OCPD traits haha.
I've been familiar with Freud's 'anal character' for decades, but in today's technologically advanced world, it would definitely be interesting to know more about the challanges other 'anals' or OCPDs are having with the internet, their phones, especially as Hoarding is a challenge, and Digital Hoarding is still not being adressed as a real concern, and yet it can be so time-wasting, messy, unproductive, irrational and stressful. The author does touch on it, it's just I would have liked more on the topic lol.