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What to Say Next: Successful Communication in Work, Life, and Love―with Autism Spectrum Disorder
Using her personal experience living as a professional woman with Autism Spectrum Disorder , Sarah Nannery, together with her husband, Larry, offers this timely communication guide for anyone on the Autism spectrum looking to successfully navigate work, life, and love.
When Sarah Nannery got her first job at a small nonprofit, she thought she knew exactly what it would take to advance. But soon she realized that even with hard work and conscientiousness, she was missing key meanings and messages embedded in her colleagues’ everyday requests, feedback, and praise. She had long realized her brain operated differently than others, but now she knew for sure: she had Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).
With help from her neurotypical partner—now husband—Larry, mostly in frantic IM chats, Sarah rose to Director of Development at one of the world’s largest nonprofits. Together they have tackled challenges in how Sarah navigates personal and professional relationships, how they navigate marriage and parenthood, all of which are differently challenging for someone with ASD. But she wonders, at times, how life would be different if she’d had to figure it all out herself. So, in What to Say Next , she offers advice, empathy, and straightforward strategies from her own tool-kit—not only for others who see the world differently, but for their families, partners and colleagues.
In What to Say Next , Sarah breaks down everyday situations—the chat in the break room, the last-minute meeting, the unexpected run-in—in granular detail, explaining not only how to understand the goals of others, but also how to frame your own. Larry adds his thoughts from a neurotypical perspective, sharing what was going on in his brain and how he learned to listen and enlighten, while supporting and maintaining Sarah’s voice. At a time when more and more people are being diagnosed with ASD—especially women and girls—this book tells important truths about what it takes to make it in a neurotypical world, and still be true to yourself.
When Sarah Nannery got her first job at a small nonprofit, she thought she knew exactly what it would take to advance. But soon she realized that even with hard work and conscientiousness, she was missing key meanings and messages embedded in her colleagues’ everyday requests, feedback, and praise. She had long realized her brain operated differently than others, but now she knew for sure: she had Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).
With help from her neurotypical partner—now husband—Larry, mostly in frantic IM chats, Sarah rose to Director of Development at one of the world’s largest nonprofits. Together they have tackled challenges in how Sarah navigates personal and professional relationships, how they navigate marriage and parenthood, all of which are differently challenging for someone with ASD. But she wonders, at times, how life would be different if she’d had to figure it all out herself. So, in What to Say Next , she offers advice, empathy, and straightforward strategies from her own tool-kit—not only for others who see the world differently, but for their families, partners and colleagues.
In What to Say Next , Sarah breaks down everyday situations—the chat in the break room, the last-minute meeting, the unexpected run-in—in granular detail, explaining not only how to understand the goals of others, but also how to frame your own. Larry adds his thoughts from a neurotypical perspective, sharing what was going on in his brain and how he learned to listen and enlighten, while supporting and maintaining Sarah’s voice. At a time when more and more people are being diagnosed with ASD—especially women and girls—this book tells important truths about what it takes to make it in a neurotypical world, and still be true to yourself.
304 pages, Hardcover
First published March 30, 2021
98 people are currently reading
2858 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 41 reviews
March 26, 2021
I highly, highly recommend this book if you fall on the spectrum, if you love someone on the spectrum, work with someone on the spectrum, or really if you want a better understanding of how others may think in and feel that are different than you.
The book is written by a wife/husband team and mostly deals with communication and relationships between someone on the spectrum and someone who may be considered not part of the spectrum. Mostly the book deals with adult topics, such as work environments, coupling and the move into parenthood. I would suggest this book to late high school/college age students on the spectrum to help them start to think of ways they can successfully communicate without their iep/504 to back them up. To start building the tools early. I would recommend this book to the parents of kids on the spectrum as young as middle school, so you would have ideas on things to suggest and understand in certain circumstances.
The book is written by a wife/husband team and mostly deals with communication and relationships between someone on the spectrum and someone who may be considered not part of the spectrum. Mostly the book deals with adult topics, such as work environments, coupling and the move into parenthood. I would suggest this book to late high school/college age students on the spectrum to help them start to think of ways they can successfully communicate without their iep/504 to back them up. To start building the tools early. I would recommend this book to the parents of kids on the spectrum as young as middle school, so you would have ideas on things to suggest and understand in certain circumstances.
January 30, 2023
Just another book for ASD folks to have to do more and more work to survive. There is a lot of good info but it’s all on the ASD person to do. Nothing here connects with how to talk to other people about how they can contribute to a better relationship. It is not on ASD people to remake their entire lives so that mediocre NT folks can continue to put in little effort. It is exhausting to bombarded with resources for how to fix myself when I am not the problem! The problem is both parties not figuring it out together. It’s on everyone else as much as me. The author seems to view herself as lesser than her husband. It’s on her to provide everything her NT husband needs. Don’t like small talk? Well that provides the chemical release for NT people. Great, are they going to allow us to have a similar chemical release in a way that we choose? Probably not.
March 1, 2025
As I saw someone else say, this book is very much a "Masking 101" book, or how to succeed in business when you are a high level business professional (who seems to only begrudgingly let go of the A********'s terminology at the beginning of the book despite that being out of the DSM for 12 years now.)
Nannery also lumps all allistic people into the "neurotypical" label, which is both incorrect and harmful.
I kept with it, waiting for something to resonate. Every suggestion she made reminded me of an allistic mentor I had who was deeply abusive to me, telling me how **I** needed to change to please the world rather than the world needing to do some lifting for myself. I kept asking "why? that doesn't make sense." as if I might get an answering, knowing one wouldn't come. That's not to say I don't try to work on harmful behaviors, but I fail to see, for example, why we need to continue to treat board members like they are kings just because they think they are and talk to our peers with unequal respect.
Perhaps it was also just me, but the portrayal of Sarah and Larry's relationship (as they described it) unsettled me. His "expertise" seemed to infantilize Sarah while also, at times, being somewhat frightening. In his last description of how he would react during an argument (as he says, throwing things) I was very concerned.
Nannery also lumps all allistic people into the "neurotypical" label, which is both incorrect and harmful.
I kept with it, waiting for something to resonate. Every suggestion she made reminded me of an allistic mentor I had who was deeply abusive to me, telling me how **I** needed to change to please the world rather than the world needing to do some lifting for myself. I kept asking "why? that doesn't make sense." as if I might get an answering, knowing one wouldn't come. That's not to say I don't try to work on harmful behaviors, but I fail to see, for example, why we need to continue to treat board members like they are kings just because they think they are and talk to our peers with unequal respect.
Perhaps it was also just me, but the portrayal of Sarah and Larry's relationship (as they described it) unsettled me. His "expertise" seemed to infantilize Sarah while also, at times, being somewhat frightening. In his last description of how he would react during an argument (as he says, throwing things) I was very concerned.
April 15, 2023
Nannery's straightforward, well-explained guide provides strategies for those on the spectrum to cope with their differences, understand allistic expectations, and temporarily assimilate. I've been wanting to learn how to adapt for social and professional success, so I found some nuggets helpful-- particularly the purpose of small talk, interpreting and mirroring body language, and navigating office interactions.
Nannery is communicating what she personally has learned during the course of her adult life, so an adult reader might match or exceed her knowledge in some areas. Much of Nannery's perspective seems filtered through the lens of her allistic husband, who has given her a great deal of advice and many life lessons over the years. This lends a transparency to the couple's recommendations-- I know where their ideas are coming from and why it is framed in that way. This is good: it helps me comprehend which points are useful to me and which I should take with a grain of salt.
Unfortunately I had to take a large amount of advice with a grain of salt-- particularly the relationship chapter, which could have used caveats more liberally. This is exacerbated by the chapter's focus on marriage and "making it work" instead of dating. Nannery has limited experience with romantic relationships apart from her husband and sometimes this restricts her perspective. Additionally Nannery outlines why being with someone outside the spectrum has been effective: she says it lends a certain balance and functionality to her relationship. She doesn't say everybody has to do it, but I am skeptical about the wisdom of disseminating this claim uncritically.
There is also the question of assimilation. Is it a lot of work, even painful, for people on the spectrum? Yes. Would it be easier for allistic people to relax their expectations than it is for autistic people to mask? Yes. Is denying allistic people key "chemicals" during social interactions really that bad? Well, maybe for the autistic people. And that's the key issue with this book, as useful and needed as it is-- that the rigid interpersonal demands neurotypical people often refuse to state out loud have to be parsed and carefully performed by autistic people in the first place. Nannery acknowledges this takes a lot of work for people on the spectrum, and of course the burden is not on her to find the greater solution. She succeeds at her own premise, which is sharing what she has learned for people who wish to learn it.
However, I felt some of the issues a lot of autistic people struggle with when masking (self-advocacy, emotional exhaustion, alienation, anger) were either not addressed or under-addressed. Since "What to Say Next" is essentially a book providing masking tips, this is a detriment.
I wish the book discussed how and when to advocate for your needs as an autistic person, instead of its unspoken idea that a) masking may help you reduce the need for direct self advocacy, and b) you just have to find compassionate allistic people who can help you navigate the world.
She does give some tips for coping with internalization (self-blame), negative spirals, and disassociation. But Nannery knows she is not a licensed therapist, so she doesn't go into much detail. Perhaps it would have made the book more satisfying if she acknowledged problems like "getting angry when you're misunderstood yet again"-- even if she just kept her advice to "1. XYZ is common and normal, 2. go get professional help."
Nannery is communicating what she personally has learned during the course of her adult life, so an adult reader might match or exceed her knowledge in some areas. Much of Nannery's perspective seems filtered through the lens of her allistic husband, who has given her a great deal of advice and many life lessons over the years. This lends a transparency to the couple's recommendations-- I know where their ideas are coming from and why it is framed in that way. This is good: it helps me comprehend which points are useful to me and which I should take with a grain of salt.
Unfortunately I had to take a large amount of advice with a grain of salt-- particularly the relationship chapter, which could have used caveats more liberally. This is exacerbated by the chapter's focus on marriage and "making it work" instead of dating. Nannery has limited experience with romantic relationships apart from her husband and sometimes this restricts her perspective. Additionally Nannery outlines why being with someone outside the spectrum has been effective: she says it lends a certain balance and functionality to her relationship. She doesn't say everybody has to do it, but I am skeptical about the wisdom of disseminating this claim uncritically.
There is also the question of assimilation. Is it a lot of work, even painful, for people on the spectrum? Yes. Would it be easier for allistic people to relax their expectations than it is for autistic people to mask? Yes. Is denying allistic people key "chemicals" during social interactions really that bad? Well, maybe for the autistic people. And that's the key issue with this book, as useful and needed as it is-- that the rigid interpersonal demands neurotypical people often refuse to state out loud have to be parsed and carefully performed by autistic people in the first place. Nannery acknowledges this takes a lot of work for people on the spectrum, and of course the burden is not on her to find the greater solution. She succeeds at her own premise, which is sharing what she has learned for people who wish to learn it.
However, I felt some of the issues a lot of autistic people struggle with when masking (self-advocacy, emotional exhaustion, alienation, anger) were either not addressed or under-addressed. Since "What to Say Next" is essentially a book providing masking tips, this is a detriment.
I wish the book discussed how and when to advocate for your needs as an autistic person, instead of its unspoken idea that a) masking may help you reduce the need for direct self advocacy, and b) you just have to find compassionate allistic people who can help you navigate the world.
She does give some tips for coping with internalization (self-blame), negative spirals, and disassociation. But Nannery knows she is not a licensed therapist, so she doesn't go into much detail. Perhaps it would have made the book more satisfying if she acknowledged problems like "getting angry when you're misunderstood yet again"-- even if she just kept her advice to "1. XYZ is common and normal, 2. go get professional help."
December 9, 2023
DNF at 50%.
Some tips may be helpful for some readers, but it's heavily anecdotal and repetitive. The workplace tips come from the author working a presumably middle-class job that's irrelevant to me personally. I also just won't put up with the author repeatedly mentioning Harry Potter.
Some tips may be helpful for some readers, but it's heavily anecdotal and repetitive. The workplace tips come from the author working a presumably middle-class job that's irrelevant to me personally. I also just won't put up with the author repeatedly mentioning Harry Potter.
April 1, 2021
This is a really good book. Clear, logical, and helpful. I think the different exchanges between the husband and wife are so cute. They remind me of how my neurotypical hubby helps me with things. I am going to suggest this to my book club as our next possible selection when it's my turn to host.
December 1, 2022
This book was like several wrapped into one.
The business advice...probably most useful for new grads, or those still flummoxed by work place social expectations. Things like breaking down the power dynamics in your management chain and how to maintain control in meetings. Not super relevant to me at the moment, but full of useful advice.
The relationship advice...Nannery says most of her advice comes from another book, which is sadly not available as an audiobook but I'm gunna need to read it stat because this section was extremely relatable.
The parenting advice...I have some quibbles here...Nannery discusses "natural consequences" several times, but what she describes are not natural, they are still adult imposed. Logical consequences, not natural. Her advice is more humane than many parenting approaches out there but is still painfully rooted in behavioralism. Setting that aside, her larger arguments are sound and compassionate (meet kids where they are, have realistic expectations, set them up for success, take them seriously, understand that it's "can't" not "won't").
I really enjoyed her writing. Her examples are specific and detailed, direct and factual. No vague handwaving leaving you to guess wtaf she is nattering on about. The asides from her husband were charming and showed a deep empathy for and appreciation of his wife that was sweet to read.
Enjoyable and well worth the read.
The business advice...probably most useful for new grads, or those still flummoxed by work place social expectations. Things like breaking down the power dynamics in your management chain and how to maintain control in meetings. Not super relevant to me at the moment, but full of useful advice.
The relationship advice...Nannery says most of her advice comes from another book, which is sadly not available as an audiobook but I'm gunna need to read it stat because this section was extremely relatable.
The parenting advice...I have some quibbles here...Nannery discusses "natural consequences" several times, but what she describes are not natural, they are still adult imposed. Logical consequences, not natural. Her advice is more humane than many parenting approaches out there but is still painfully rooted in behavioralism. Setting that aside, her larger arguments are sound and compassionate (meet kids where they are, have realistic expectations, set them up for success, take them seriously, understand that it's "can't" not "won't").
I really enjoyed her writing. Her examples are specific and detailed, direct and factual. No vague handwaving leaving you to guess wtaf she is nattering on about. The asides from her husband were charming and showed a deep empathy for and appreciation of his wife that was sweet to read.
Enjoyable and well worth the read.
April 2, 2022
what to say next is a great book to look into the daily challenges of what is it like to be in the autism spectrum.
with her neurotypical husband, sarah nannery tackles challenges in the workplace, how she navigates personal & professional relationships, marriage & parenthood - which could be challenging for someone with ASD.
at a time where more and more people are being diagnosed with ASD, this book tells the important truths about what it takes to make it in a neurotypical world and still be true to yourself. 🙌
i did find the writing abit dry and it was more technical than i thought but i really really learnt a lot of things from sarah's experiences - on her daily life and interactions. most importantly, it made me realize that everyone is different and that itself, its beautiful. :') i also felt that its so important to start from ourselves and our own level of awareness, openness, and information when it comes to inclusion. the more we work on ourselves, the easier it will be to be sensitive to others & be inclusive naturally.
people with autism deserve to be treated as completely equal to neurotypical people. lets continue to build awareness, show inclusiveness, understanding and acceptance for those on the autism spectrum 💓🧩
with her neurotypical husband, sarah nannery tackles challenges in the workplace, how she navigates personal & professional relationships, marriage & parenthood - which could be challenging for someone with ASD.
at a time where more and more people are being diagnosed with ASD, this book tells the important truths about what it takes to make it in a neurotypical world and still be true to yourself. 🙌
i did find the writing abit dry and it was more technical than i thought but i really really learnt a lot of things from sarah's experiences - on her daily life and interactions. most importantly, it made me realize that everyone is different and that itself, its beautiful. :') i also felt that its so important to start from ourselves and our own level of awareness, openness, and information when it comes to inclusion. the more we work on ourselves, the easier it will be to be sensitive to others & be inclusive naturally.
people with autism deserve to be treated as completely equal to neurotypical people. lets continue to build awareness, show inclusiveness, understanding and acceptance for those on the autism spectrum 💓🧩
June 30, 2024
Truly a “you don’t know what you don’t know” kind of thing. Wish I had had something like this years ago before I even realized I was autistic. Ugh. This is a little dry in places because it does literally go over how to navigate different situations — work (mainly corporate), long term relationships, some life stuff, etc. I enjoyed that we got both an autistic and neurotypical perspective. I am a little jealous she has her husband to turn to help translate what’s going on whenever she needs. Hopefully, if I ever find myself in a corporate setting again, I’ll be able to function better and be less frustrated and burnt out.
March 7, 2023
Maybe I have ASD!!! But anyway!!! I think this book would be extremely helpful for all people, partners, and professionals: it covers a lot of different aspects of ASD and discusses a LOT of things related to workplace expectations/politics and general communication that I think all people would be better off knowing—ASD or otherwise. Definitely recommend. 9/10.
May 28, 2024
Mixed feelings about this book. Good things: I loved that she does not write with a victim-mentality, "no one understands me and I'm angry with the whole world because of this"- I found it refreshing that she approaches her difficulties with a positive attitude of wanting to do what she can to manage them. I also found some things she shared very helpful - particularly for the workplace and marriage, and some explanations of why certain things are difficult, and coping strategies, really were a revelation.
On the flip-side of my first point above, she didn't really offer any ideas for how to advocate for yourself in the workplace, how to ask others for help, or how to explain your difficulties to colleagues. Despite all the explanations of how to understand communication in the workplace, some people have difficulties that will be insurmountable without workplace adaptations.
The section in the workplace was certainly culture-specific to the US and quite a lot did not resonate with me in the culture I live and work in.
The section on parenting was about parenting a child with autism, and little about being a parent with autism.
I'm glad I read it but will not come back to it.
On the flip-side of my first point above, she didn't really offer any ideas for how to advocate for yourself in the workplace, how to ask others for help, or how to explain your difficulties to colleagues. Despite all the explanations of how to understand communication in the workplace, some people have difficulties that will be insurmountable without workplace adaptations.
The section in the workplace was certainly culture-specific to the US and quite a lot did not resonate with me in the culture I live and work in.
The section on parenting was about parenting a child with autism, and little about being a parent with autism.
I'm glad I read it but will not come back to it.
February 4, 2025
not worth the read. very anecdotal, seemed poorly researched (lots of claims made with no supporting evidence, some outright misinformation, no sources cited or resource index). the advice was mostly either things an adult would already know through life experience or too specific to the author’s exact lifestyle and career to be applicable to others.
April 27, 2025
(Audible) Very instructive book for autistics (and introverts) on how to interact and communicate in the workplace, despite its confusing office politics, different communication styles and distinct preferences for oral and written communication. The author admits that her neurodivergence makes it difficult for her to understand meaning in conversations because her interpretation of words is very literal and she is low context. Because most autistics gravitate towards spending a great deal of time and energy on their special interests, she recommends that autistics examine if they can turn their special interests into a vocation or employment opportunity. Recognizing that office politics demand a unique type of social capital that can be challenging for autistics, the author suggests that being proficient in technical skills can do a lot to make up for low social skill. I have also found that if you are really good at your job, many co-workers or supervisors won’t mind that you don’t spend a great deal of time building up social capital.
The authors provide a number of gems:
: neurodivergent people may be more vulnerable to manipulation, because they assume the same sincerity in communication that they exhibit will be present in others
: good communication begins with being transparent with thoughts and feelings
: when dealing with mistakes or miscommunication, value intentions over outcomes (i.e. assume person is good inside, see book of the same title)
The one downside of the audiobook, which was narrated by a female, was it wasn’t clear when the author was her husband or herself. So, I spent part of the book thinking the neurodivergent author was lesbian, without specifically saying she was lesbian. That was my only real criticism of the book.
The authors provide a number of gems:
: neurodivergent people may be more vulnerable to manipulation, because they assume the same sincerity in communication that they exhibit will be present in others
: good communication begins with being transparent with thoughts and feelings
: when dealing with mistakes or miscommunication, value intentions over outcomes (i.e. assume person is good inside, see book of the same title)
The one downside of the audiobook, which was narrated by a female, was it wasn’t clear when the author was her husband or herself. So, I spent part of the book thinking the neurodivergent author was lesbian, without specifically saying she was lesbian. That was my only real criticism of the book.
December 2, 2025
I am an autistic woman who has an academic degree in psychologically in order to attempt to better understand neurotypical people and better be able to survive in a neurotypical world. In spite of that, I still struggle everyday in my work and personal life to survive.
This book embodies that struggle and gives you references and cheat sheets on how to overcome those struggles from an autistic viewpoint and experience. I’ve never before read something written by an autistic person for other autistic people, and this book has been so eye opening and helpful I’ve switched from casual reading to studying it with a pen in hand for notes and underlines, tabs for quick access to the cheat sheet references, and am summarizing the important ideas from each chapter for quick reference later on.
In just the first chapter, Sarah’s dissection of communication helped me understand that I struggle professionally with verbal communication and that by leaning into written communication I can prevent a ton of undue stress. It has improved my workplace experience and general stress level so much, I really can’t even put it into words.
This book is helping me understand myself in ways that years of trying on my own hasn’t been able to. My life is definitively better for reading it.
If you are autistic or know someone who is, please buy it. And thank you to Sarah and Larry for taking the time to write what is becoming a manual for understanding my autism.
This book embodies that struggle and gives you references and cheat sheets on how to overcome those struggles from an autistic viewpoint and experience. I’ve never before read something written by an autistic person for other autistic people, and this book has been so eye opening and helpful I’ve switched from casual reading to studying it with a pen in hand for notes and underlines, tabs for quick access to the cheat sheet references, and am summarizing the important ideas from each chapter for quick reference later on.
In just the first chapter, Sarah’s dissection of communication helped me understand that I struggle professionally with verbal communication and that by leaning into written communication I can prevent a ton of undue stress. It has improved my workplace experience and general stress level so much, I really can’t even put it into words.
This book is helping me understand myself in ways that years of trying on my own hasn’t been able to. My life is definitively better for reading it.
If you are autistic or know someone who is, please buy it. And thank you to Sarah and Larry for taking the time to write what is becoming a manual for understanding my autism.
November 27, 2024
Imagine if this book was about how women can be successful in communication, work, life and love and all the advice was like: don't speak up, act demure so you don't seem like a bitch when asking for things that are basic decency, cater towards the majority so they don't get bothered by your womanly issues. Suppress yourself, you got this honey. (wink)
I would categorize this book as borderline harmful to Autistics because masking is not a viable option, it's not even a solution. The process and effects of masking is akin to having high pain tolerance and placing your hand on a hot stove. While you may withstand the pain more than the average person, it doesn't mean you aren't still harming yourself. If masking showed up as physical lacerations, would you still advocate for it? No. So why is this considered a self-help book for ASC when it implicitly implies a "you need to fix yourself" attitude? This would be better as a memoir because it's heavily tinged with an allistic perspective instead of a mutual conversation between neurodiversity and neurotypical worlds.
If you met one Autistic, you've only met one Autistic.
I would categorize this book as borderline harmful to Autistics because masking is not a viable option, it's not even a solution. The process and effects of masking is akin to having high pain tolerance and placing your hand on a hot stove. While you may withstand the pain more than the average person, it doesn't mean you aren't still harming yourself. If masking showed up as physical lacerations, would you still advocate for it? No. So why is this considered a self-help book for ASC when it implicitly implies a "you need to fix yourself" attitude? This would be better as a memoir because it's heavily tinged with an allistic perspective instead of a mutual conversation between neurodiversity and neurotypical worlds.
If you met one Autistic, you've only met one Autistic.
June 7, 2022
This book really made me feel seen and heard as someone who is in the process of getting evaluated for Autism. It's amazing how much Sarah's experiences reflect mine so much! I've always thought of myself as an emotional person who never thinks analytically (except when it comes to video games). Some of the many similarities include: naturally not understanding social cues in a group setting, hating small talk, having a hyperliteral one-track mind (not understanding puns and jokes 80-90% of the time), negative spirals, repeating phrases and words during negative situations, etc.
Thank you Sarah and Larry sharing your story. It helped me learn more about myself and how to better navigate the NT world we live in.
Thank you Sarah and Larry sharing your story. It helped me learn more about myself and how to better navigate the NT world we live in.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 18, 2023
This book was an insightful overview of the communication complications that occur in neurodiverse relationships. It provides simple how-to instructions on how to navigate work, friends, and family for those with autism. It’s worth picking up if you want to understand ND people in your life, but also I would take some advice with a grain of salt since it’s coming from this specific author’s life experiences
August 6, 2023
Very useful book of how to cope with many of the challenges we as autistic adults navigate during any given day. The solutions offered are easy to understand and use. The insights offered by Larry at the end of each chapter reinforce the struggles the ASD community faces in just a simple day. There are great example situations with solutions that work. I wish I’d had this book 10 years ago when I was still in the workforce. It would have helped me tremendously.
November 24, 2025
I see myself in this book, not in an exact replica, but in certain instances and situations where I have either thought, acted, or reacted in a similar fashion. I want my friend to read this for the corporate stuff that relates to his life more than mine and also to understand better what or how others might perceive things or think about situations, on the spectrum or not. I think everyone could glean something important from this book, but only if they wanted to.
April 23, 2021
If you've ever needed a textbook for understanding what is happening between the lines - this book is for that. I wish I had this before I've started out in the corporate world. Some awkward silences where I dig my brain for something to say to successfully participate in casual conversation could have been avoided.
It doesn't matter if you have ASD brain or not.
It doesn't matter if you have ASD brain or not.
November 24, 2021
I went back and forth with the stars for this one. Ultimately, this is written from the perspective of a cishet autistic woman, and it does have a wealth of information about communication in the areas listed. However, it did feel quite alienating because it was not exactly advertised as a specific perspective, but as general advice.
August 12, 2022
Sarah Nannery, as a young professional with autism spectrum disorder, got her first job at a small non-profit, sure she knew what she needed to do to move ahead. Instead, she found she was missing messages and hidden meanings in her coworkers texts, emails, conversations, and actions.
After a particularly confusing and frustrating experience, she started consulting her neurotypical husband Larry. This became a series of consultations mostly via text. Sarah learns more about how neurotypicals think, and how to communicate. Along the way, Larry and Sarah learn more about communicating with each other, and raising, managing, and communicating with their autistic son.
There's a lot of good information here, good guidance for those with ASD in working with the neurotypical majority, and for the neurotypicals working with autistic coworkers--and honestly I think, for anyone working in groups, whether ASD or neurotypical.
As someone who grew up as an undiagnosed autistic girl in the 50s and 60s, it really hit me in the feels to listen to the parts about Sarah working out what routines and patterns help her ASD son cope, and how to manage those occasions when the plan has to change. I remember, all too clearly, trying to communicate what was wrong when sudden changes in plan, that seemed minor to everyone else, flipped me into meltdown. It wasn't that no one cared, but for sure no one understood why I was "being so difficult."
Some of the advice and guidance here for navigating a professional environment, I worked out on my own, painfully and with great frustration. Others, I never did. I made myself into the person everyone brought the weird questions to, because I'm good at it, it's fun, and it's of real value, but I remained, quite unintentionally, a somewhat difficult person to work with--and I had no idea why the people around me were so confusing and difficult.
This is a really interesting and useful book.
Recommended.
I bought this audiobook.
After a particularly confusing and frustrating experience, she started consulting her neurotypical husband Larry. This became a series of consultations mostly via text. Sarah learns more about how neurotypicals think, and how to communicate. Along the way, Larry and Sarah learn more about communicating with each other, and raising, managing, and communicating with their autistic son.
There's a lot of good information here, good guidance for those with ASD in working with the neurotypical majority, and for the neurotypicals working with autistic coworkers--and honestly I think, for anyone working in groups, whether ASD or neurotypical.
As someone who grew up as an undiagnosed autistic girl in the 50s and 60s, it really hit me in the feels to listen to the parts about Sarah working out what routines and patterns help her ASD son cope, and how to manage those occasions when the plan has to change. I remember, all too clearly, trying to communicate what was wrong when sudden changes in plan, that seemed minor to everyone else, flipped me into meltdown. It wasn't that no one cared, but for sure no one understood why I was "being so difficult."
Some of the advice and guidance here for navigating a professional environment, I worked out on my own, painfully and with great frustration. Others, I never did. I made myself into the person everyone brought the weird questions to, because I'm good at it, it's fun, and it's of real value, but I remained, quite unintentionally, a somewhat difficult person to work with--and I had no idea why the people around me were so confusing and difficult.
This is a really interesting and useful book.
Recommended.
I bought this audiobook.
February 8, 2021
It is exactly what it says it is, so there's that. Did not go as far as I expected/hoped on relationship logistics, but maybe that can be their next book?
(Disclaimer: I received a free ARC of this book through a Goodreads Giveaway.)
(Disclaimer: I received a free ARC of this book through a Goodreads Giveaway.)
October 26, 2021
Such an interesting viewpoint of both a husband and a wife and how they manage their interactions from the lens of ASD. I really loved how the husband and wife acted like a team to overcome some of the discomfort associated with life with ASD. Highly recommend.
February 19, 2022
In defensive of the book:
1. I am not the target audience.
2. I skipped the first few chapters on work.
The authors style was well outlined and concise. Ultimately, I didn’t glean a ton as the NT partner of someone with ASD. I did not find Larry’s Two Cents particularly relevant or helpful.
1. I am not the target audience.
2. I skipped the first few chapters on work.
The authors style was well outlined and concise. Ultimately, I didn’t glean a ton as the NT partner of someone with ASD. I did not find Larry’s Two Cents particularly relevant or helpful.
May 8, 2022
This book was fascinating, another book from my friend that came when I needed it. I went almost a decade without normal human interaction, and I highly value the analytic approach to lifting social systems. The book was enjoyable.
August 4, 2023
Also Autistic
This book has been soo insightful, and has helped me to learn more about myself, and how to better navigate and communicate in a mostly nuerotypical world. Thank you so much for writing this!
This book has been soo insightful, and has helped me to learn more about myself, and how to better navigate and communicate in a mostly nuerotypical world. Thank you so much for writing this!
February 2, 2025
An excellent resource, written by an Autistic woman and her neurotypical husband, partners and adoring friends!
Whether you have Autism, love someone with Autism, or work with someone with Autism - this book is for you!
Whether you have Autism, love someone with Autism, or work with someone with Autism - this book is for you!
April 5, 2025
One of the first autistic communication books that actually treats the readers like adults, or at bare minimum doesn't talk down to us, and gives practical suggestions and scenarios, and has a neurotypical person's perspective while we're at it.
March 3, 2021
very useful and interesting.
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