I don't know much about Vincent van Gogh. I'm sure I studied him once in school, probably in the early grades because I only remember bits and pieces. What I do remember somehow always gets confused with Leonardo da Vinci (which I have to always mentally correct myself before saying, otherwise I end up saying DiCaprio). I know nothing about da Vinci so I have no idea how these two men ever got confused. I know van Gogh did Starry Night, the bedroom, his sunflowers, and cut off his own ear, but I constantly forget the Mona Lisa is da Vinci's, not his. I feel terrible about this blending together of two very different people (they're not even from the same century!!! What!?). I promised myself I would work very hard to fully separate them in my mind. They deserve it. Have I worked on this yet? Not really, but I think this book helped.
There are a lot of things to love about this book: the characters & their relationships, the storyline, the setting, the writing style, and the gentle care in which the topics of mental health and sexuality are handled. I can feel Nicole Medley's love for her characters, and that's really beautiful. I almost can’t believe this is her debut novel. I’ll have to check out her other books.
I'm really struggling to find the words to express how beautiful, necessary, and moving this book is. The entire thing made me want to cry. THE ENTIRE BOOK. It's just so beautiful. It's ravishing. It's something I didn't know I needed. This also came at a perfect time. During the time I was reading this I had a very, very bad cold and I felt terrible. I was mostly condemned to silence from lack of a voice, and sounded and felt like I'm going to cough my lungs up. I needed something beautiful like this. Middle grade fiction is honestly the best. I'm going to need to get my own copy of this book. I need to know I have this when I need it.
Fig... What to say about Fig? Finola is so precious. She's so relatable even if our lives are very different. She’s so desperate to understand her artist father that she takes an art class even though STEM courses are her thing. She wants to know what he sees when he stands on the beach in the middle of a hurricane, or even when he’s standing there on a regular day. She’s so worried about her dad. She’s only in sixth grade, but she is his caretaker more often than not. Her teacher realizes there is a problem when Fig’s dad shows up to art class one day, his eyes unfocused, desperate to find Fig. This leads CP & P (Child Protection and Permanency) to their door, again, and this time they will be keeping a much closer eye on Fig and her dad. His mind doesn’t work very well all the time, and Fig is afraid that CP & P will take her away from him due to this.
Fig loves her dad, she really does, but sometimes he makes it really hard. Hurricane season is the worst. He’s obsessed with hurricanes, and New Jersey gets one every now and then. He loves them, Fig hates them. He always gets weird when he knows they're coming. She has her calendar marked so that she can count the days until the hurricane danger passes, which is going to correspond with the date that CP&P will make their final decision.
This leads me to Tim Arnold, the once-renowned pianist and composer who hasn’t written a piece of music since Fig was born. Fig has a hard time imagining the man he was before. Sometimes she catches glimpses of the man before, on his better days, but most of the time he’s lost in her father’s head with the music she can’t hear, seeing the things in the ocean that she can’t see. He tries really hard, but he can’t fight what’s happening inside his head alone. He hates losing track of himself, publicly embarrassing his daughter, (Oh, the second hand embarrassment was so strong!) and having to rely on their new neighbour for everything. He hates the fact that she soon gets so caught up in how similar his problems are to Vincent van Gogh’s that she can’t see him anymore.
“I feel like there is something vibrating inside me. I feel anxious and jittery and scared, Fig. And this is me when I do feel better. You do such a wonderful job of taking care of me, but we need help, both of us, because it can’t be all on your little shoulders. And I need to stop feeling this way.”
Fig starts learning about Vincent van Gogh because she has a big art project to do and she’s struggling to find inspiration. She becomes obsessed when she realizes the similarities between Vincent and her dad, and Theo van Gogh and herself. Vincent’s letters to his brother Theo help Fig to understand her father. She thinks that he is Vincent and she is his Theo.
"Vincent couldn't have been Vincent without Theo, and Fig could not have been Fig without her dad. And maybe that was where she had gotten it wrong all along... Because she felt like she was losing him, and she wasn't his Theo, but he was hers, and she needed him and didn't know what to do now that he didn't need her."
Mark Finzi is their new neighbour. He’s different from all their other neighbours who think Fig’s father is crazy. Mark drags her dad out of a hurricane, and he seems to understand the things about her dad that she can’t. She knows they need Mark’s help, but she hates that they need him. Fig and Mark have a rocky relationship because of this. As Mark and her dad get closer, Fig feels like she’s slipping farther away from everything. Mark is butting into her family and she doesn’t know what to do about it.
"She was caught between wanting to yell at him to mind his own business, and wanting to cry because there was someone who noticed her enough to piece together her mind the way she was trying to do with her dad's." (This quote always makes me very emotional)
Another character I loved was Fig’s friend Danny Carter. Danny wants to help Fig figure out her dad, and he also wants to be more than just friends with her. Danny is so sweet, and he turns out to be a very loyal, supportive friend, exactly what Fig needs. Even when Fig admits that she likes the girl at the library, not him, Danny eventually comes around and realizes that he’d rather have her as his best friend than not at all.
I just love this book so much. I can't even seem to fully express it, just like my love of the movie Zootopia. This book feels like a warm hug on a cold day when you’re feeling kind of depressed. This book just makes me feel like everything is going to be okay, and those kinds of books are the best. With time, and with help from others, everything is going to be okay. We’re all going to be okay, we’ll survive this hurricane.
Thank you Nicole, thank you Vincent, but most of all, thank you Theo van Gogh. This book is clearly, in part, a love letter to Vincent van Gogh, but even more so, it’s a thank you letter to Theo. Theo believed in and appreciated Vincent before anyone else did. He didn’t entirely understand his brother (there was no understanding of mental illness then) but he loved his brother despite his problems and he knew that Vincent didn’t mean to be a burden. He looked at Vincent and decided he would love him no matter how difficult Vincent made it. He would not give up on him. Without Theo, there would be no Vincent, and without Vincent, this book wouldn’t be the beautiful gift to the world that it is.