What do you think?
Rate this book
Prancūzių paslaptys
"Prancūzei tyla gali būti seksuali. Jei nori atstumti vyrą, išpliurpk jam apie save viską arba paprašyk jo viską papasakoti apie save. Nepalik nieko slapto."
Ar kada susimąstėte apie tai, kad prancūzės gyvena pagal savo pačių susikurtas taisykles?
Debra Ollivier meta iššūkį tradicinėms nuostatoms apie flirtą, meilę, seksą, santuoką, motinystę ir viską, ką tai apima. Pasitelkusi savo patirtį, pažįstamų prancūzių moterų mintis bei gyvenimo istorijas, autorė griauna vyraujančias nuostatas ir kviečia gyventi bei mylėti taip, kaip tai daroma Prancūzijoje.
Prancūzėms žavesio suteikia ne tik madingi bateliai, plazdantys vėjyje šalikėliai ar lūpdažiai. Jos džiaugiasi gyvenimu čia ir dabar, švenčia neatidėliotiną malonumą, nebėga nuo dviprasmybių ir nesitiki, kad vyrai jas supras.
Prancūzės renkasi gyvenimą, o ne išgyvenimą!
Štai, kaip prancūzės visą gyvenimą mąsto apie meilę:
Jis myli mane truputį.
Labai.
Aistringai.
Beprotiškai.
Nemyli visai.
Ar kada susimąstėte apie tai, kad prancūzės gyvena pagal savo pačių susikurtas taisykles?
Debra Ollivier meta iššūkį tradicinėms nuostatoms apie flirtą, meilę, seksą, santuoką, motinystę ir viską, ką tai apima. Pasitelkusi savo patirtį, pažįstamų prancūzių moterų mintis bei gyvenimo istorijas, autorė griauna vyraujančias nuostatas ir kviečia gyventi bei mylėti taip, kaip tai daroma Prancūzijoje.
Prancūzėms žavesio suteikia ne tik madingi bateliai, plazdantys vėjyje šalikėliai ar lūpdažiai. Jos džiaugiasi gyvenimu čia ir dabar, švenčia neatidėliotiną malonumą, nebėga nuo dviprasmybių ir nesitiki, kad vyrai jas supras.
Prancūzės renkasi gyvenimą, o ne išgyvenimą!
Štai, kaip prancūzės visą gyvenimą mąsto apie meilę:
Jis myli mane truputį.
Labai.
Aistringai.
Beprotiškai.
Nemyli visai.
272 pages, Hardcover
99 people are currently reading
1224 people want to read
About the author
Debra Ollivier
4 books36 followersOllivier lived in France for over ten years, had her two children there, and became a dual citizen. She currently divides her time between Paris and Los Angeles, where she lives with her family, and is at work on a historical novel.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 187 reviews
January 8, 2019
As I am French, I was at first surprised and then deeply intrigued when I first saw this book. Of course, I know that French and American are extremely different but I didn’t know that books have been written about it. When I open it, it wasn’t without misgiving as such a book must surely contain a lot of generalisations and clichés and as anyone who read this book must know by now, French people don’t fit in moulds. In fact, we even deeply resent such an assumption. However, as I was quite curious about American culture, I decide to give it a try in order to see what exactly were those great differences.
As we have many American films and books in France, I already had a good vision of American culture but only a superficial one; I didn’t know the rules behind the behaviour. For example, I didn’t even know about the “dating rules” or that such things even existed! Such a ridiculous things to do and quite incomprehensible for us. Of course as I am shy, I tend to be a bit insecure and rules can therefore be a bit reassuring, nonetheless I would deeply resent them as being a threat to my freedom. In the same way, it is true that French women don’t want to be like each other or liked by everyone. We always want to be different and thus draw attention to ourselves and our originality.
One thing I don’t agree with is the author take on adultery. It’s true that it is very present in our history, literature, films and culture and that in certain milieu open relationships are accepted, however I don’t see it at all as being a generality. It is not something me or any of the women I know would accept with any complaisance. In fact, it is a great insult directed toward the woman who is cheated upon. Of course, some reconciliations can be made and excuses accepted, but only on the tacit acceptance that such a thing would never happen again. Otherwise, there is divorce. The main difference with America may be that we would not drag religious problems in it. The bad person is not the women having a liaison with a married man (after all if she loves him, she can’t help responding to his advances) but the man himself.
It’s true that marriage itself is not such a dream to everyone and that many couple are happy living together without getting married. In fact, such a period is recommended even before marriage in order to test your couple before committing yourself.
As for what is said about flirtation and “dates” I think it is quiet accurate. In fact, I see people who want to know everything about me, even potential boyfriend as a threat. I don’t like anyone to invade my personal space and if they do, I can only focus on throwing them out.
In the same way, it’s true that we focus a lot on our leisure and on “having a life”.
Another thing which I want to underline, armpit hair are definitely NOT ok in France. Again, it depends on persons and education, but most of us definitely find it disgusting and filthy. In the same way, about housekeeping, even if we are not as extreme as the American are presented in the book (far from it), we still think it’s important. Our house must be clean and look ok when we receive people. It’s ok to have children toys, books or magazines lying around but not dust, that’s unhealthy.
On the whole, this book makes me put clearly what I was already understanding unconsciously about my own culture and think a bit about the American one. Even if there is a lot of generalisation (and I was struck by the fact that a great deal of the examples mentioned in the book are mostly found in one kind of social milieu, as are the author’s French friends and the French writers she quotes), I found it mainly accurate and enjoy it a lot. I would recommend it to people interested in reading about culture differences.
As we have many American films and books in France, I already had a good vision of American culture but only a superficial one; I didn’t know the rules behind the behaviour. For example, I didn’t even know about the “dating rules” or that such things even existed! Such a ridiculous things to do and quite incomprehensible for us. Of course as I am shy, I tend to be a bit insecure and rules can therefore be a bit reassuring, nonetheless I would deeply resent them as being a threat to my freedom. In the same way, it is true that French women don’t want to be like each other or liked by everyone. We always want to be different and thus draw attention to ourselves and our originality.
One thing I don’t agree with is the author take on adultery. It’s true that it is very present in our history, literature, films and culture and that in certain milieu open relationships are accepted, however I don’t see it at all as being a generality. It is not something me or any of the women I know would accept with any complaisance. In fact, it is a great insult directed toward the woman who is cheated upon. Of course, some reconciliations can be made and excuses accepted, but only on the tacit acceptance that such a thing would never happen again. Otherwise, there is divorce. The main difference with America may be that we would not drag religious problems in it. The bad person is not the women having a liaison with a married man (after all if she loves him, she can’t help responding to his advances) but the man himself.
It’s true that marriage itself is not such a dream to everyone and that many couple are happy living together without getting married. In fact, such a period is recommended even before marriage in order to test your couple before committing yourself.
As for what is said about flirtation and “dates” I think it is quiet accurate. In fact, I see people who want to know everything about me, even potential boyfriend as a threat. I don’t like anyone to invade my personal space and if they do, I can only focus on throwing them out.
In the same way, it’s true that we focus a lot on our leisure and on “having a life”.
Another thing which I want to underline, armpit hair are definitely NOT ok in France. Again, it depends on persons and education, but most of us definitely find it disgusting and filthy. In the same way, about housekeeping, even if we are not as extreme as the American are presented in the book (far from it), we still think it’s important. Our house must be clean and look ok when we receive people. It’s ok to have children toys, books or magazines lying around but not dust, that’s unhealthy.
On the whole, this book makes me put clearly what I was already understanding unconsciously about my own culture and think a bit about the American one. Even if there is a lot of generalisation (and I was struck by the fact that a great deal of the examples mentioned in the book are mostly found in one kind of social milieu, as are the author’s French friends and the French writers she quotes), I found it mainly accurate and enjoy it a lot. I would recommend it to people interested in reading about culture differences.
January 11, 2016
I am always wary when an author presents a “typical” person of any kind. In this case, it’s the “typical” French woman, and as we all know, this person probably doesn’t exist outside of popular opinion. At the same time, there is nearly always a grain of truth in a stereotype, and in this case the generalizations have more to do with cultural conditioning than any solid, definable “type” of person. Also, this being a self help book for all intents and purposes, the generalizations are necessary to present a philosophy that is applicable to life, namely American life. Because this is a book built on generalizations and broad strokes, be aware that the statements I will make in regards to this book and the French way of life will most likely be equally non-specific. They may be inaccurate or only half-true, but I think they can be helpful for all that.
I became fascinated by the French in high school. Like many sensitive, bookish and –let’s face it, pretentious- teenagers, I thought there was something truly amazing about a culture that didn’t seem obsessed with being likable or ambitious. A culture that could produce the likes of Rabelais, Moliere, Sartre and especially de Beauvoir, not to mention some of the most glamorous and tragic American expats, felt so inviting and almost magical when surrounded by a world of grin-and-bear-it perpetual optimism and soul-crushing popularity contests. Americans are not generally encouraged to sit and contemplate existence, much less come to the conclusion that life might, in fact, be rather pointless; we’re supposed to grab life by the balls and force it to meet our expectations. If things aren’t turning out the way they “should,” we must not be trying hard enough. This perspective has never sat well with me. In the broadest terms, Americans love control and we want everything to be black and white. We want to have everything defined and categorized, not to mention sterilized. Not so the French, or so Debra Ollivier says.
Ollivier is an American married to a Frenchman, so she does have the advantage of being both on the inside and the outside of her material. She has spent years living in Paris and the States, comparing and contrasting the way of life in both places and internalizing the elements that have allowed her to make a life on foreign soil. What French Women Know is a guide to incorporating certain French ways of thinking into your life, in hopes of capturing some of that joie de vivre of which they seem to have such an abundant supply. Thankfully, Ollivier doesn’t treat her material like a guidebook; there are no lists, no 12-step formulas or life-affirming mantras. That would be terribly un-French. Rather, she has taken observations and anecdotes and filtered them in such a way as to contrast the “best” elements of Gallic life with its Anglo counterparts and see how they measure up to each other. And, for the most part, I’d say she’s pretty fair; neither culture comes out on top as “the winner,” but I have to say that much of the French philosophy, with some definite exceptions, is more appealing.
For example, Ollivier asserts that the French are all about the “middle ground,” whereas America is the land of highs and lows. Where an American might put all their hopes for the future and all their energy into a romantic relationship, the French are much more cool-headed and ambiguous about romance. Your spouse (or your children, for that matter) are not the end all and be all of happiness; they’re important, but a French woman will focus on balance where an American woman will buy into the mythological Happily Ever After. It should be pretty obvious that the great H.E.A has wreaked considerable havoc in the American psyche. We build industries on it and rely on it as an important component of not just our emotional economy, but our monetary one as well. A phenomenon that is, when you come to think of it, a little sickening. France has a wedding-honeymoon-baby economy of its own, of course, but it’s nothing to our behemoth Bridezilla empire.
The middle ground vs. black-and-white argument covers a lot of ground. Our American concept of beauty, for instance, is a bizarre world of contradiction. We have a cookie-cutter ideal that suffers little variation and results in some very unhealthy behaviors (not to mention mental health issues), but at the same time we have a plus-size industry that is unheard of in France. The French, bless them, have the wonderful and not-exactly-clear philosophy of jolie laide, which translates hideously to “ugly pretty.” The French are famous for having an abundance of beautiful women, but if you look very closely, very few of them fit the criteria we so rigorously enforce in America. They embrace “flaws” as character; a large nose, a flat chest, too short, too tall, these things are accepted and flaunted rather than concealed or “fixed.” Again, this isn’t absolute and there are plenty of ugly people in France I’m sure, but a big dose of confidence and sex appeal really goes a long way to trick us into ignoring this little inconvenient fact.
Ah, speaking of sex appeal, that’s the real heart of all of this. The middle ground approach doesn’t allow for the bizarre extremes of American attitudes to sex, which vacillate alarmingly between voyeurism and denial. Thanks to our Puritan ancestors for that one. The French accept sex, as well as many other perfectly natural things, as just another part of life, and a valuable one at that. Americans indulge in pleasure, no doubt about that, but the flip side is nearly always guilt and half-hearted justifications. The French find this ridiculous and almost incomprehensible. The French aren’t the only ones; America is one of the few nations outside of Islamic countries that regularly censors biology books intended for children and has made it an unofficial rule that all toys must be gender neutral below the belt.
I know this is starting to sound like a lot of America-bashing, but it’s really not. I love my country, even if sometimes only because it’s mine. Ollivier admits that there are aspects of the American way that work just fine; we are generally friendly and civic-minded, and when we want something we will work hard to get it. And the French have their flaws too, with their don't-give-a-damn attitude towards strangers and a notoriously vague way of making judgments. But Ollivier’s suggestion throughout this book is to temper our cultural extremism with a little moderation, and to enjoy life for what it is rather than for what it merely has the potential to be. Don’t worry so much about smudged make-up or if your romantic encounters don’t suit the one-size-fits all labels we so like to apply to them or if your kitchen doesn’t look like Martha Stewart’s. Life should be enjoyed because it really is short and I doubt many people will be on their death beds wishing they had put in just a few more hours a week in the office. This is a philosophy I would love to embrace, and I don’t think I’m alone in this. Now, France has the advantage of not actually needing to cultivate any of this, it’s embedded in the deepest heart of their culture and comes naturally. I will have to work on it, but it’s nice to have a guide to remind me that there are parts of the world where not getting a promotion is not a heart breaking scenario or that there are couples in the world that don’t give up their adulthood when children arrive, and about a million other little things that would make life feel more balanced and less like a color-coded to-do list.
I’ve gone on and on about the ideas of the book, probably more than is remotely necessary, but I would also like to mention that Ollivier is a very engaging writer. Her style is witty and conversational without that feeling of someone trying too hard to be charming. It’s very natural and enjoyable. It’s very French.
I became fascinated by the French in high school. Like many sensitive, bookish and –let’s face it, pretentious- teenagers, I thought there was something truly amazing about a culture that didn’t seem obsessed with being likable or ambitious. A culture that could produce the likes of Rabelais, Moliere, Sartre and especially de Beauvoir, not to mention some of the most glamorous and tragic American expats, felt so inviting and almost magical when surrounded by a world of grin-and-bear-it perpetual optimism and soul-crushing popularity contests. Americans are not generally encouraged to sit and contemplate existence, much less come to the conclusion that life might, in fact, be rather pointless; we’re supposed to grab life by the balls and force it to meet our expectations. If things aren’t turning out the way they “should,” we must not be trying hard enough. This perspective has never sat well with me. In the broadest terms, Americans love control and we want everything to be black and white. We want to have everything defined and categorized, not to mention sterilized. Not so the French, or so Debra Ollivier says.
Ollivier is an American married to a Frenchman, so she does have the advantage of being both on the inside and the outside of her material. She has spent years living in Paris and the States, comparing and contrasting the way of life in both places and internalizing the elements that have allowed her to make a life on foreign soil. What French Women Know is a guide to incorporating certain French ways of thinking into your life, in hopes of capturing some of that joie de vivre of which they seem to have such an abundant supply. Thankfully, Ollivier doesn’t treat her material like a guidebook; there are no lists, no 12-step formulas or life-affirming mantras. That would be terribly un-French. Rather, she has taken observations and anecdotes and filtered them in such a way as to contrast the “best” elements of Gallic life with its Anglo counterparts and see how they measure up to each other. And, for the most part, I’d say she’s pretty fair; neither culture comes out on top as “the winner,” but I have to say that much of the French philosophy, with some definite exceptions, is more appealing.
For example, Ollivier asserts that the French are all about the “middle ground,” whereas America is the land of highs and lows. Where an American might put all their hopes for the future and all their energy into a romantic relationship, the French are much more cool-headed and ambiguous about romance. Your spouse (or your children, for that matter) are not the end all and be all of happiness; they’re important, but a French woman will focus on balance where an American woman will buy into the mythological Happily Ever After. It should be pretty obvious that the great H.E.A has wreaked considerable havoc in the American psyche. We build industries on it and rely on it as an important component of not just our emotional economy, but our monetary one as well. A phenomenon that is, when you come to think of it, a little sickening. France has a wedding-honeymoon-baby economy of its own, of course, but it’s nothing to our behemoth Bridezilla empire.
The middle ground vs. black-and-white argument covers a lot of ground. Our American concept of beauty, for instance, is a bizarre world of contradiction. We have a cookie-cutter ideal that suffers little variation and results in some very unhealthy behaviors (not to mention mental health issues), but at the same time we have a plus-size industry that is unheard of in France. The French, bless them, have the wonderful and not-exactly-clear philosophy of jolie laide, which translates hideously to “ugly pretty.” The French are famous for having an abundance of beautiful women, but if you look very closely, very few of them fit the criteria we so rigorously enforce in America. They embrace “flaws” as character; a large nose, a flat chest, too short, too tall, these things are accepted and flaunted rather than concealed or “fixed.” Again, this isn’t absolute and there are plenty of ugly people in France I’m sure, but a big dose of confidence and sex appeal really goes a long way to trick us into ignoring this little inconvenient fact.
Ah, speaking of sex appeal, that’s the real heart of all of this. The middle ground approach doesn’t allow for the bizarre extremes of American attitudes to sex, which vacillate alarmingly between voyeurism and denial. Thanks to our Puritan ancestors for that one. The French accept sex, as well as many other perfectly natural things, as just another part of life, and a valuable one at that. Americans indulge in pleasure, no doubt about that, but the flip side is nearly always guilt and half-hearted justifications. The French find this ridiculous and almost incomprehensible. The French aren’t the only ones; America is one of the few nations outside of Islamic countries that regularly censors biology books intended for children and has made it an unofficial rule that all toys must be gender neutral below the belt.
I know this is starting to sound like a lot of America-bashing, but it’s really not. I love my country, even if sometimes only because it’s mine. Ollivier admits that there are aspects of the American way that work just fine; we are generally friendly and civic-minded, and when we want something we will work hard to get it. And the French have their flaws too, with their don't-give-a-damn attitude towards strangers and a notoriously vague way of making judgments. But Ollivier’s suggestion throughout this book is to temper our cultural extremism with a little moderation, and to enjoy life for what it is rather than for what it merely has the potential to be. Don’t worry so much about smudged make-up or if your romantic encounters don’t suit the one-size-fits all labels we so like to apply to them or if your kitchen doesn’t look like Martha Stewart’s. Life should be enjoyed because it really is short and I doubt many people will be on their death beds wishing they had put in just a few more hours a week in the office. This is a philosophy I would love to embrace, and I don’t think I’m alone in this. Now, France has the advantage of not actually needing to cultivate any of this, it’s embedded in the deepest heart of their culture and comes naturally. I will have to work on it, but it’s nice to have a guide to remind me that there are parts of the world where not getting a promotion is not a heart breaking scenario or that there are couples in the world that don’t give up their adulthood when children arrive, and about a million other little things that would make life feel more balanced and less like a color-coded to-do list.
I’ve gone on and on about the ideas of the book, probably more than is remotely necessary, but I would also like to mention that Ollivier is a very engaging writer. Her style is witty and conversational without that feeling of someone trying too hard to be charming. It’s very natural and enjoyable. It’s very French.
February 13, 2013
Paris-obsessed middle-aged American women will find much to reassure them of the rightness of their Francophilia in "What French Women Know..." A more critical reader interested in a serious cultural compare and contrast will see past the *très* gag-worthy "merci beaucoup"s and obnoxiously frequent "excusez moi"s and know the book for what it is - a masturbatory fantasy for people who love and glorify the idea of France and of being French because some unnameable sophistication must be imbued upon the denizens of Gaul.
I actually agree with the core concepts of the book. Americans are unnecessarily Puritanical, laughably uncomfortable with the human body, and are eager to conform to simple and unvaried molds of beauty. However, the delivery of the book was over the top and bordered on being unreadable.
For a book to read over a weekend while humping a wedge of brie, What French Woman Know would be all right.
For a book backed by peer-reviewed research and cultural studies that can actually broaden one's understanding of "love, sex and other matters of the heart and mind" I strongly recommend "Sex at Dawn."
I actually agree with the core concepts of the book. Americans are unnecessarily Puritanical, laughably uncomfortable with the human body, and are eager to conform to simple and unvaried molds of beauty. However, the delivery of the book was over the top and bordered on being unreadable.
For a book to read over a weekend while humping a wedge of brie, What French Woman Know would be all right.
For a book backed by peer-reviewed research and cultural studies that can actually broaden one's understanding of "love, sex and other matters of the heart and mind" I strongly recommend "Sex at Dawn."
July 24, 2009
If American author, Debra Olliver, sat down at my kitchen table and mentioned that she had lived in France for ten years with her French husband, and I in my exuberance asked her to tell me all about French women over coffee, What French Women Know would be a transcript of the resulting conversation. In a lengthy conversational essay, Olliver expounds on every personal anecdote, pop culture reference, and quote she can muster relating to the French woman—a woman who boasts an internationally acclaimed allure.
What can an American woman learn in the 240 pages addressing the secrets of the French approach to life, love and most definitely sex? If you’d like to know, first you must concede that the average French woman is simply sexier, more self assured, and more sophisticated than the average American woman. If you can accept that premise, then this smartly explores how French Culture produces a distinct woman, and how that woman captivates the world. What French Women Know is an enjoyable read, and the only book I’ve read to portray Edith Wharton as down right catty.
What can an American woman learn in the 240 pages addressing the secrets of the French approach to life, love and most definitely sex? If you’d like to know, first you must concede that the average French woman is simply sexier, more self assured, and more sophisticated than the average American woman. If you can accept that premise, then this smartly explores how French Culture produces a distinct woman, and how that woman captivates the world. What French Women Know is an enjoyable read, and the only book I’ve read to portray Edith Wharton as down right catty.
February 21, 2022
I’m a life-long Francophile of French ancestry, although my ancestors didn’t teach me the language and I had to learn it on my own, such as I speak it today, if you can call that learned—more like a half-baked loaf of bread. This may answer the question, “Dude, why did you read this book?”
My first reaction was to hate this book and the presumption that “French women” can be lumped into one ball, or one pop culture attempt at cashing in on how to teach America women how to have an orgasm which all reminds me of the hilarious Randy Newman song, “Maybe I’m doing it Wrong.” If neither you nor your lover can make the fireworks go off, my suggestion is to look harder (pun intended and unavoidable) and don’t come up for air until you find the answer.
Although I have lived in Spain far longer than she lived in France, I would never think about writing a book presuming to know everything about Spanish men. The thought of writing that book is preposterous to me, however, this doesn’t mean that she isn’t right about a few things. “Some of this is true” is hardly a ringing endorsement of a book, sort of like the broken clock that’s correct twice a day.
My first question for the author was if life in France was so wonderful, why did she go back to live in Los Angeles, of all the horrible places on earth? Just looking at photos of LA and its relentless car culture makes me break out in hives.
The book was written in 2009 when I presumed that the author was already stuck in LA traffic dreaming of being able to walk somewhere, anywhere, so she probably needs to come back for a refresher course. She goes on a on about how French women aren’t fat. While they may not top out like Walmart, electric cart-driving leviathans, they are getting fatter and fatter by the day, with every processed and fast-food choice made available to them.
She also makes a big deal about how French women are too cool and self-confident to exercise. Good luck with that after about age forty-five when the forces of nature start beating your body like a hurricane. Couple this with how smoking still is looked upon as anything but a curse in many parts of Europe, and after fifty, you won’t be able to go on even the tamest of bike rides or walk up a flight of stairs at a museum without wheezing and gasping for air.
A big portion of the book is simply paraphrasing movies, TV shows, magazine articles, and books by other writers. It's like she's saying that everything and anything that has been said about French women is true and deserves to be passed on.
While certainly no expert, if I could be allowed to make one observation about French women that she doesn’t make in the book, it would be that French women seem to understand that sexiness has nothing to do with looks or your bra size: it’s an attitude. You see it, at least in some French women. They give you a look as if to say,”You have something I want, and I KNOW I have something you want.”
My first reaction was to hate this book and the presumption that “French women” can be lumped into one ball, or one pop culture attempt at cashing in on how to teach America women how to have an orgasm which all reminds me of the hilarious Randy Newman song, “Maybe I’m doing it Wrong.” If neither you nor your lover can make the fireworks go off, my suggestion is to look harder (pun intended and unavoidable) and don’t come up for air until you find the answer.
Although I have lived in Spain far longer than she lived in France, I would never think about writing a book presuming to know everything about Spanish men. The thought of writing that book is preposterous to me, however, this doesn’t mean that she isn’t right about a few things. “Some of this is true” is hardly a ringing endorsement of a book, sort of like the broken clock that’s correct twice a day.
My first question for the author was if life in France was so wonderful, why did she go back to live in Los Angeles, of all the horrible places on earth? Just looking at photos of LA and its relentless car culture makes me break out in hives.
The book was written in 2009 when I presumed that the author was already stuck in LA traffic dreaming of being able to walk somewhere, anywhere, so she probably needs to come back for a refresher course. She goes on a on about how French women aren’t fat. While they may not top out like Walmart, electric cart-driving leviathans, they are getting fatter and fatter by the day, with every processed and fast-food choice made available to them.
She also makes a big deal about how French women are too cool and self-confident to exercise. Good luck with that after about age forty-five when the forces of nature start beating your body like a hurricane. Couple this with how smoking still is looked upon as anything but a curse in many parts of Europe, and after fifty, you won’t be able to go on even the tamest of bike rides or walk up a flight of stairs at a museum without wheezing and gasping for air.
A big portion of the book is simply paraphrasing movies, TV shows, magazine articles, and books by other writers. It's like she's saying that everything and anything that has been said about French women is true and deserves to be passed on.
While certainly no expert, if I could be allowed to make one observation about French women that she doesn’t make in the book, it would be that French women seem to understand that sexiness has nothing to do with looks or your bra size: it’s an attitude. You see it, at least in some French women. They give you a look as if to say,”You have something I want, and I KNOW I have something you want.”
June 27, 2010
I found myself in the "sex" isle while at the library a week or two ago. There was lots of giggling and then I proceeded to walk out with a dozen books. Very mature.
I read reviews for a lot of the books and I remember reading a lot of negative ones about this book. Women were UP IN ARMS about the (not so favourable) comparisons between American's and the French. I can see what they were getting at now. It's the TONE in which Debra Ollivier explains the different outlooks between residence of the two nations that I would say is the problem. She doesn't just say "this is how they differ" or "this is their outlook", she goes out of her way to prove that French women do it better.
This is a self-help book disguised as a text that discusses a culture. Tricky tricky.
Reviews that complain about her broad-brush insights are moot. Obviously, in this type of text broad-brush comparisons are necessary. No, every French or American woman is not like how she describes, but her broad descriptions are the general cultural outlook. 'Nough said.
I liked the book, overall. I enjoyed some of the perspectives and the spelled out differences in culture (with examples and way too many quotes). However, I didn't take it all too seriously. If I rolled my eyes a time or two, I didn't hold it against the author, I just moved on. Also, I don't think this book will change anyone's life. It's just entertaining and made me ponder the potential differences between how I think, how my mom tells me to think, and how Ollivier claims French Women think.
I read reviews for a lot of the books and I remember reading a lot of negative ones about this book. Women were UP IN ARMS about the (not so favourable) comparisons between American's and the French. I can see what they were getting at now. It's the TONE in which Debra Ollivier explains the different outlooks between residence of the two nations that I would say is the problem. She doesn't just say "this is how they differ" or "this is their outlook", she goes out of her way to prove that French women do it better.
This is a self-help book disguised as a text that discusses a culture. Tricky tricky.
Reviews that complain about her broad-brush insights are moot. Obviously, in this type of text broad-brush comparisons are necessary. No, every French or American woman is not like how she describes, but her broad descriptions are the general cultural outlook. 'Nough said.
I liked the book, overall. I enjoyed some of the perspectives and the spelled out differences in culture (with examples and way too many quotes). However, I didn't take it all too seriously. If I rolled my eyes a time or two, I didn't hold it against the author, I just moved on. Also, I don't think this book will change anyone's life. It's just entertaining and made me ponder the potential differences between how I think, how my mom tells me to think, and how Ollivier claims French Women think.
October 3, 2010
Earlier this week, as I headed to my job, a man in my building asked me out after a few minutes of conversation. I thought this rather abrupt, as in this short conversation, it was clearly established that we had absolutely nothing in common, especially when his main point of conversation was saying in multiple ways, "You're one of those artsy chicks, right?" and also made sure to mention how much his car cost (that he had just wrecked the week before). Regrettably, I gave him my number, because I was raised to be a nice girl who should be incredibly open and "date around," because that is the only way to find a man - putting an egg in a series of baskets. Baskets with BMWs.
When I later told him I had a boyfriend (lie, as my regret increased as the subsequent days went by), he backtracked and told me he had a girlfriend, and he just wanted to hang out, and sarcastically commented, "Uh, right. Thanks for telling me you have a boyfriend, though," beginning a web of awkwardness that forces me to run up to my apartment at top speed in order to avoid running into him again.
I happened to be reading this book throughout all these happenings, and now feel truly lucky that I can, in fact, call this common behavior between sexes in the U.S. utterly bizarre, twisted, and immature. I include my own role in it as such. Granted, I understand that "Not everyone!" is like this, and there are plenty of mature, adult relationships, but exactly how they get to that point can use a little refining.
However, the thought struck me that, despite many women reading this and being ready to throw up their hands and embrace the French "dating" culture (the wonderful, mature, and adult version of our own), most of the men in this country most likely would not follow through. The cycle continues.
Overall, I adored the ideas in the book, and also respected the author for explaining throughly why these attitudes are possible in France. It wasn't just, "Do it this way," but rather, "This is how it is there, but they are also allowed through hundreds of years of historical influence, to be this way." Unlike some readers, I didn't feel it was necessarily saying it was "better" than our own culture, as the author was sure to disclaim the differing situations for French women that give them the ability to conduct the whole relationship scene in this way.
Extra bonus points for saying the REAL reason "French women don't get fat" - because they're ridiculously strict about eating, as opposed to the opposing laissez-faire attitude we've been taught to believe, and do not possess the "live and let live" code we attempt to have in the States. The author claims they're downright rude about weight gain - what better motivation than cruelty, really? (Eye roll.) Again, take what you want and leave the rest, but I appreciated her honesty, as the last thing we need in this country is being told that if we "just slow down and enjoy our food the French way!" we'll suddenly be a size 2. As I said, that was sort of how I took the book: it definitely embraced aspects of French culture, but was sure to point out in different parts why it wouldn't work in America and, well, do we really WANT certain things this way?
Finally, if there was one thing that would make me move to France, it was the chapter regarding how they raise children. In the US, the author claims, adults deign to children and make the world acceptable for them; in France, children are expected to conform to an adult world. And as someone who had already abandoned her regular bar because every time I went in, a regular's two-year-old was wandering around, I say, "Here, here!" Wine is magical, but it does not make me want to do the mandatory, "She is sooooo cute!" comment to affirm her darling little existence to her insecure parental units wishing for their former party lives back. Or, as the author's French friend commented when she saw her living room (with light sockets covered, toys strewn everywhere, padding on table corners, and latches on drawers): "Your living room looks like a psych ward."
Thank you, France. I won't eat like you, but I *will* send my preschooler on an overseas trip with his/her classmates.
When I later told him I had a boyfriend (lie, as my regret increased as the subsequent days went by), he backtracked and told me he had a girlfriend, and he just wanted to hang out, and sarcastically commented, "Uh, right. Thanks for telling me you have a boyfriend, though," beginning a web of awkwardness that forces me to run up to my apartment at top speed in order to avoid running into him again.
I happened to be reading this book throughout all these happenings, and now feel truly lucky that I can, in fact, call this common behavior between sexes in the U.S. utterly bizarre, twisted, and immature. I include my own role in it as such. Granted, I understand that "Not everyone!" is like this, and there are plenty of mature, adult relationships, but exactly how they get to that point can use a little refining.
However, the thought struck me that, despite many women reading this and being ready to throw up their hands and embrace the French "dating" culture (the wonderful, mature, and adult version of our own), most of the men in this country most likely would not follow through. The cycle continues.
Overall, I adored the ideas in the book, and also respected the author for explaining throughly why these attitudes are possible in France. It wasn't just, "Do it this way," but rather, "This is how it is there, but they are also allowed through hundreds of years of historical influence, to be this way." Unlike some readers, I didn't feel it was necessarily saying it was "better" than our own culture, as the author was sure to disclaim the differing situations for French women that give them the ability to conduct the whole relationship scene in this way.
Extra bonus points for saying the REAL reason "French women don't get fat" - because they're ridiculously strict about eating, as opposed to the opposing laissez-faire attitude we've been taught to believe, and do not possess the "live and let live" code we attempt to have in the States. The author claims they're downright rude about weight gain - what better motivation than cruelty, really? (Eye roll.) Again, take what you want and leave the rest, but I appreciated her honesty, as the last thing we need in this country is being told that if we "just slow down and enjoy our food the French way!" we'll suddenly be a size 2. As I said, that was sort of how I took the book: it definitely embraced aspects of French culture, but was sure to point out in different parts why it wouldn't work in America and, well, do we really WANT certain things this way?
Finally, if there was one thing that would make me move to France, it was the chapter regarding how they raise children. In the US, the author claims, adults deign to children and make the world acceptable for them; in France, children are expected to conform to an adult world. And as someone who had already abandoned her regular bar because every time I went in, a regular's two-year-old was wandering around, I say, "Here, here!" Wine is magical, but it does not make me want to do the mandatory, "She is sooooo cute!" comment to affirm her darling little existence to her insecure parental units wishing for their former party lives back. Or, as the author's French friend commented when she saw her living room (with light sockets covered, toys strewn everywhere, padding on table corners, and latches on drawers): "Your living room looks like a psych ward."
Thank you, France. I won't eat like you, but I *will* send my preschooler on an overseas trip with his/her classmates.
October 26, 2010
One and a half stars -- one for the subject matter; half for the text. "What French Women Know" struck me as purporting to be a bit more intellectual than the author's previous book, "Entre Nous: A Woman's Guide to Finding Her Inner French Girl," in assessing the products of America's feel-good culture and a society in which people are taught to embrace their imperfections, themselves and their opinions. Ollivier tries to have fun discussing why French society fosters independent, stylish spirits and explaining a culture in which "good job" is more often expressed as "not bad" and sights are trained to be set realistically low rather than imaginatively high. She uses personal anecdotes and literary quotes to report that the French find people who agree all the time "bland"; that there is no equivalent in French vernacular for the term "opposite sex"; that the French do not "date" as Americans do, nor have a cultural sense that girls have to be liked by everyone. But the book is a mishmash of anecdotes and hints of research, and Ollivier's style is, frankly, annoying. The substance in this book (French women have a strong sense of the brevity of time, accept that life is inherently imperfect and behave accordingly) could have made for a smashing magazine article. Dragged out into a painfully repetitive book -- striking each instance of "once (said/wrote/told)," "after all," "of course," and "recently" would surely shorten the manuscript by a good four pages --- she manages to drive over some wisps of ideas again and again when drilling down to her point and stating it clearly would have worked a lot better.
Read
October 24, 2016I read this in preparation for a panel I moderated at Books Are Better Shared. (http://booksarebettershared.com/)
The focus of the panel was to discuss how authors help readers access worlds far beyond their own personal experiences, and this was a great addition to the discussion.
The focus of the panel was to discuss how authors help readers access worlds far beyond their own personal experiences, and this was a great addition to the discussion.
August 18, 2013
I really adored Ollivier's previous book about French women, "Entre Nous," but I had trouble finishing "What French Women Know." Ollivier makes sweeping generalizations about both French and American women. For example:
"I was recently at a cocktail party in the States when the hostess asked all of us guests to get in a circle with our margaritas and tell the group about the most meaningful and powerful experience we'd ever had. One woman with a head full of meaningful and powerful red hair shot up and said, 'The first time I had a multiple orgasm!'"
While that certainly is an interesting anecdote, I don't know how many American women have attended a cocktail party like that. Most of the time I got the impression that Ollivier was writing from her own (rather narrow) perspective (that of a woman who was born and raised in southern California) and assumed that this must be the way that every other American woman has experienced life and thus behaves.
Honestly, I cringed my way through this book. If you're looking for a fun and meaningful look into French culture, I would suggest Harriet Welty Rochefort's "French Toast," Elaine Sciolino's "La Seduction,"* or Jean-Benoît Nadeau and Julie Barlow's "Sixty Million Frenchmen Can't Be Wrong." I would even recommend Ollivier's previous effort, "Entre Nous," which contained excellent book and movie suggestions -- but please, please, steer clear of this book. It's chocked full of stereotypes and shallow observations, and precious little insights.
*I have to admit that I picked up "What French Women Know" because it was recommended by both Sciolino and Barlow. Now that I've finished I'm, I'm bewildered by their recommendations.
"I was recently at a cocktail party in the States when the hostess asked all of us guests to get in a circle with our margaritas and tell the group about the most meaningful and powerful experience we'd ever had. One woman with a head full of meaningful and powerful red hair shot up and said, 'The first time I had a multiple orgasm!'"
While that certainly is an interesting anecdote, I don't know how many American women have attended a cocktail party like that. Most of the time I got the impression that Ollivier was writing from her own (rather narrow) perspective (that of a woman who was born and raised in southern California) and assumed that this must be the way that every other American woman has experienced life and thus behaves.
Honestly, I cringed my way through this book. If you're looking for a fun and meaningful look into French culture, I would suggest Harriet Welty Rochefort's "French Toast," Elaine Sciolino's "La Seduction,"* or Jean-Benoît Nadeau and Julie Barlow's "Sixty Million Frenchmen Can't Be Wrong." I would even recommend Ollivier's previous effort, "Entre Nous," which contained excellent book and movie suggestions -- but please, please, steer clear of this book. It's chocked full of stereotypes and shallow observations, and precious little insights.
*I have to admit that I picked up "What French Women Know" because it was recommended by both Sciolino and Barlow. Now that I've finished I'm, I'm bewildered by their recommendations.
August 2, 2009
I read Debra Ollivier's previous book, "Entre Nous," and enjoyed it thoroughly. I jumped at the opportunity to review "What French Women Know," as I was certain that the well-known expatriate columniste for "Le Monde" would share more of her interesting insights to French culture.
Ollivier did not disappoint. She writes about friendships, dating (a concept the French do not really have), cooking and shopping -- and how French women look at all of these things differently from American women.
Ollivier's work is humorous and, at times, self-deprecating when she writes about her experiences in navigating the cultural differences between the French and the "Anglo-Saxons" (a catch-all term that some French folk use to describe the British or Americans).
There are many lessons to be taken from the Gallic attitude toward life, and Ollivier shares them in an entertaining fashion. Highly recommended.
Ollivier did not disappoint. She writes about friendships, dating (a concept the French do not really have), cooking and shopping -- and how French women look at all of these things differently from American women.
Ollivier's work is humorous and, at times, self-deprecating when she writes about her experiences in navigating the cultural differences between the French and the "Anglo-Saxons" (a catch-all term that some French folk use to describe the British or Americans).
There are many lessons to be taken from the Gallic attitude toward life, and Ollivier shares them in an entertaining fashion. Highly recommended.
March 3, 2011
There are many explanations of what French women know.
But I adore their fundamental attitude: they love Men a lot a lot. And not surprisingly, the compliment is repaid by French men: they love Women a lot a lot. So the foundation is always there to build upon.
French women know men need a lot of tolerance and looking after. This view offers a certain relief in the "battle of the sexes" as it is played out in the States.
This book gets to the core of the famous French diet and way of eating, and how French women maintain their looks. The explanation is fundamental and understandable.
But I adore their fundamental attitude: they love Men a lot a lot. And not surprisingly, the compliment is repaid by French men: they love Women a lot a lot. So the foundation is always there to build upon.
French women know men need a lot of tolerance and looking after. This view offers a certain relief in the "battle of the sexes" as it is played out in the States.
This book gets to the core of the famous French diet and way of eating, and how French women maintain their looks. The explanation is fundamental and understandable.
June 13, 2021
I liked that it was a comparison of cultures and not a self help book. Instead of telling the reader how to live it had the reader question their own culture. This is not a book for everyone. The reader must really love French culture or be looking for something outside of a book to tell you how to love and be sexy. I’m happy it had the Reader’s Guide at the end, which lists out all the main points and takeaways from the book. I would revisit that piece and not necessarily read the book in it’s entirety again.
March 7, 2021
It’s as simple as this: French woman live to live. American woman live to impress. Ollivier provides various examples comparing the care free, life loving, sexy French woman to that of the overworked, stress induced, and tired American woman. Some of the comparisons throughout the books felt a bit repetitive but there a few that really stood out, especially the viewpoint of sex in the US. A quick and easy read, Ollivier has inspired me to put on some Chanel lipstick, have a glass of wine, and not give a single F***. Ciao!
December 29, 2017
250 сторінок про те, що не варто надто чимось перейматися, що б то не було, але шоколадних еклерів таки краще не їсти, ах і ще мереживна білизна, звісно)
July 10, 2017
Що зробили б Ви, шановна читачко, якби опинилися в одній черзі біля каси супермаркету разом з гарним незнайомцем? Напевно, спершу подумали б: “А він гарний!”. А потім, якщо ви самотня, замріялися би про ваше можливе побачення... Ось зокрема цим і відрізняється українка від француженки, скажу я Вам :) Француженка, як пише у своїй книзі Дебра Олів'є, зазвичай чинить інакше.
Або інша ситуація. Шановний читачу (тепер я звертаюся до чоловіків), уявіть, що Вас із дружиною запросили угості, і серед запрошених були й інші подружні пари та самотні жінки й чоловіки... З якою компанією активніше спілкувалися б Ви: з чоловічою чи шукали б співрозмовниць у компанії жінок? Щось мені підказує, що, як мінімум, Ви спілкувалися б переважно зі своєю дружиною, а як максимум — обговорювали б цікаві теми в компанії інших чоловіків, а дружина в цей час ділилася б новинами з іншими жінками... Ось зокрема цим відрізняються українці від французів :) Про що я? Читайте далі.
Книга Дебри Олів'є “Що відомо француженкам про кохання, секс та інші приємні речі” у перекладі українською Видавничої групи “КМ-БУКС” стала першою з тих, які я вже прочитала від початку року. Коли я вперше тримала її в руках, то чомусь мені спало на думку: назва якась попсова... Ні, назва зовсім не викликала відрази! Просто тему кохання і сексу частенько використовують для публікацій, а зміст й ідея таких творів бувають слабенькими :-) Як же я помилилася в цьому випадку!
Секс і їжа, дружба і зрада, гроші та кохання, вирішення побутових питань, психологія й уподобання, мода, спілкування та наголоси гендеру, і головне — мистецтво життя! — усі ці теми, справді, розкрила авторка зі свого погляду та з точки зору відомих дослідників культури й побуту народу Франції. Звичайно, наскільки це дозволили зробити по максимуму 256 сторінок книги.
Відразу хочу сказати, що авторка знає, про що пише, хоч і американка за національністю. Дебра свого часу переїхала до Франції, вийшла заміж, народила дітей, отримала французьке громадянство і зараз живе з родиною по черзі в кожній з двох країн: трошки у Франції, трошки у США. Її праці мають психологічне спрямування і публікуються у відомих американських та французьких журналах, окремі роботи друкуються великими накладами і, як інформують джерела, стають бестселерами.
Книга “Що відомо француженкам про кохання, секс та інші приємні речі” складається з семи основних розділів: Чоловіки, Загадковість, Правила, Досконалість, Природа, Art de vivre, Тіло, та написана легкою для сприйняття мовою. У кожному з розділів дослідниця дає красномовні приклади з життя та публікує думки провідних французьких і американських вчених та відомих дослідників, які займаються вивченням психології статей та інших, стосовно тих чи інших моментів.
Пройдемося швидко по розділах.
Чоловіки. У цьому розділі Дебра дає відповіді, зокрема, на ті два запитання, які я поставила вам, шановні читачі, на початку допису. Отож француженка, зі слів авторки, не просто помилується гарним чоловіком і помріє про нього. Вона, швидше за все, відверто висловить своє захоплення ним. Наприклад, та француженка з черги у супермаркеті, перед якою стояв гарний француз, на випадкове запитання касира: “Мадам, Ви разом з цим мосьє?..”, висловила своє захоплення чоловіком у своїй відповіді — голосно зітхнула і промовила: “О, на жаль, ні...”. Вишукано, чи не так? :) До слова, чоловік був приємно вражений. А щодо гостин у великій компанії подружніх пар, то тут французи йдуть ще далі. Своєрідний девіз таких вечірок: “Хай живе мікс статей!”. Дебра розповіла, що на таких вечірках подружні пари зазвичай роз'єднують і саджають за столом чоловіка поміж двома жінками, а жінку — відповідно, між двома чоловіками. Саме так, на думку французів, застільна розмова буде і захопливою, і інтелектуальною, і з блиском в очах :) Оригінально, правда ж? Також у цьому розділі авторка розповідає про значення флірту для французів, про суто французькі проблеми з гардеробом, про змішування протиріч, про те, як фрацуженки кохають і розуміють чоловіків, про неприпустимість суворого егалітаризму та ще багато цікавого.
Загадковість. З цього розділу ви зрозумієте, чому для французів термін “постійні стосунки” є своєрідним оксюмороном. А також про те, що зовсім немає значення, як ви зав'яжете шарф на шиї — бо важливий розум, дізнаєтеся, коли менше означає більше, та з якою ретельністю французи “плекають свої таємні сади”.
Правила. Про те, що для французів правила створені для того, щоб їх порушувати. Ви зрозумієте з розділу, як французи знаходять рівновагу романтики з життєвими реаліями, їхнє ставлення до шлюбу та кохання, і дізнаєтеся, як француженкам вдається усвідомлювати швидку плинність часу й насолоджуватися кожним моментом життя.
Досконалість. Ніхто не досконалий :) Від цього і відштовхуємося, щоб прожити цікаве й приємне життя, та щоб було що розповісти внукам. Авторка повідає, як просто і в той же час творчо підходять французи до вирішення проблемних питань.
Природа. Звичайно, насамперед мова про людську природу і природу почуттів, про волосся на тілі, про те, чому французи гостро відчувають різницю між внутрішньою сексуальністю та сексуальним виглядом, та про те, чому француженки у віці переважно почуваються сексуальними і не панікують через нові зморшки.
Art de vivre. Про мистецтво насолоджуватися життям. Про те, що не помитий після обіду посуд не спричинить катастрофу, якщо ви забудете про нього і дозволите собі трохи розслабитися. Про те, чим заробляння на життя відрізняється від самого життя, чому француженка завжди готова насолодитися “розхристаним сексом” з коханим чоловіком, та інші моменти, що спонукають французів неперевершено володіти мистецтвом насолоди життям.
Тіло. Вас цікавить, чому француженки зазвичай не гладшають? Або — чому французам до вподоби принцип “погано зараз, добре потім”? Тут ви отримаєте відповіді на ці запитання.
Отже, підведемо підсумок: чому вас може зацікавити ця книга?
Вам буде цікаво прочитати книгу Дебри Олів'є “Що відомо француженкам про кохання, секс та інші приємні речі”, наприклад, якщо вам подобаються книги про культуру та побут різних народів... Або, скажімо, ви плануєте переїзд до Франції, й у зв'язку з цим хочете знати більше про особливості та звичаї французів. Чи у вас з'явилися нові знайомі з цієї країни, і ви хочете стати ближчими до них або ж не бажаєте неприємно вразити своїм нерозумінням їхнього світосприйняття. Ну, а якщо ви займаєтеся бізнесом і плануєте вийти на ринок у Франції — вам сто відсотків необхідно знати більше деталей портрету вашого потенційного французького клієнта, і ця книга певним чином привідкриє ворота до “таємних садів” французів :)
Якщо зараз ви шукаєте, яку книгу прочитати, візьміть з полиці магазину книгу Дебри. Тут ви не знайдете ілюстрацій з побуту мешканців Франції. Але точно довідаєтеся багато цікавого про французів — такого, що досі про них не чули. Окремо хочу відмітити майстерність перекладу В.Кучменко (на жаль, видавництво не публікує повне ім'я перекладача). Переклад виконаний з англійської на українську мову, на мій погляд, колоритно і вдало.
Або інша ситуація. Шановний читачу (тепер я звертаюся до чоловіків), уявіть, що Вас із дружиною запросили угості, і серед запрошених були й інші подружні пари та самотні жінки й чоловіки... З якою компанією активніше спілкувалися б Ви: з чоловічою чи шукали б співрозмовниць у компанії жінок? Щось мені підказує, що, як мінімум, Ви спілкувалися б переважно зі своєю дружиною, а як максимум — обговорювали б цікаві теми в компанії інших чоловіків, а дружина в цей час ділилася б новинами з іншими жінками... Ось зокрема цим відрізняються українці від французів :) Про що я? Читайте далі.
Книга Дебри Олів'є “Що відомо француженкам про кохання, секс та інші приємні речі” у перекладі українською Видавничої групи “КМ-БУКС” стала першою з тих, які я вже прочитала від початку року. Коли я вперше тримала її в руках, то чомусь мені спало на думку: назва якась попсова... Ні, назва зовсім не викликала відрази! Просто тему кохання і сексу частенько використовують для публікацій, а зміст й ідея таких творів бувають слабенькими :-) Як же я помилилася в цьому випадку!
Секс і їжа, дружба і зрада, гроші та кохання, вирішення побутових питань, психологія й уподобання, мода, спілкування та наголоси гендеру, і головне — мистецтво життя! — усі ці теми, справді, розкрила авторка зі свого погляду та з точки зору відомих дослідників культури й побуту народу Франції. Звичайно, наскільки це дозволили зробити по максимуму 256 сторінок книги.
Відразу хочу сказати, що авторка знає, про що пише, хоч і американка за національністю. Дебра свого часу переїхала до Франції, вийшла заміж, народила дітей, отримала французьке громадянство і зараз живе з родиною по черзі в кожній з двох країн: трошки у Франції, трошки у США. Її праці мають психологічне спрямування і публікуються у відомих американських та французьких журналах, окремі роботи друкуються великими накладами і, як інформують джерела, стають бестселерами.
Книга “Що відомо француженкам про кохання, секс та інші приємні речі” складається з семи основних розділів: Чоловіки, Загадковість, Правила, Досконалість, Природа, Art de vivre, Тіло, та написана легкою для сприйняття мовою. У кожному з розділів дослідниця дає красномовні приклади з життя та публікує думки провідних французьких і американських вчених та відомих дослідників, які займаються вивченням психології статей та інших, стосовно тих чи інших моментів.
Пройдемося швидко по розділах.
Чоловіки. У цьому розділі Дебра дає відповіді, зокрема, на ті два запитання, які я поставила вам, шановні читачі, на початку допису. Отож француженка, зі слів авторки, не просто помилується гарним чоловіком і помріє про нього. Вона, швидше за все, відверто висловить своє захоплення ним. Наприклад, та француженка з черги у супермаркеті, перед якою стояв гарний француз, на випадкове запитання касира: “Мадам, Ви разом з цим мосьє?..”, висловила своє захоплення чоловіком у своїй відповіді — голосно зітхнула і промовила: “О, на жаль, ні...”. Вишукано, чи не так? :) До слова, чоловік був приємно вражений. А щодо гостин у великій компанії подружніх пар, то тут французи йдуть ще далі. Своєрідний девіз таких вечірок: “Хай живе мікс статей!”. Дебра розповіла, що на таких вечірках подружні пари зазвичай роз'єднують і саджають за столом чоловіка поміж двома жінками, а жінку — відповідно, між двома чоловіками. Саме так, на думку французів, застільна розмова буде і захопливою, і інтелектуальною, і з блиском в очах :) Оригінально, правда ж? Також у цьому розділі авторка розповідає про значення флірту для французів, про суто французькі проблеми з гардеробом, про змішування протиріч, про те, як фрацуженки кохають і розуміють чоловіків, про неприпустимість суворого егалітаризму та ще багато цікавого.
Загадковість. З цього розділу ви зрозумієте, чому для французів термін “постійні стосунки” є своєрідним оксюмороном. А також про те, що зовсім немає значення, як ви зав'яжете шарф на шиї — бо важливий розум, дізнаєтеся, коли менше означає більше, та з якою ретельністю французи “плекають свої таємні сади”.
Правила. Про те, що для французів правила створені для того, щоб їх порушувати. Ви зрозумієте з розділу, як французи знаходять рівновагу романтики з життєвими реаліями, їхнє ставлення до шлюбу та кохання, і дізнаєтеся, як француженкам вдається усвідомлювати швидку плинність часу й насолоджуватися кожним моментом життя.
Досконалість. Ніхто не досконалий :) Від цього і відштовхуємося, щоб прожити цікаве й приємне життя, та щоб було що розповісти внукам. Авторка повідає, як просто і в той же час творчо підходять французи до вирішення проблемних питань.
Природа. Звичайно, насамперед мова про людську природу і природу почуттів, про волосся на тілі, про те, чому французи гостро відчувають різницю між внутрішньою сексуальністю та сексуальним виглядом, та про те, чому француженки у віці переважно почуваються сексуальними і не панікують через нові зморшки.
Art de vivre. Про мистецтво насолоджуватися життям. Про те, що не помитий після обіду посуд не спричинить катастрофу, якщо ви забудете про нього і дозволите собі трохи розслабитися. Про те, чим заробляння на життя відрізняється від самого життя, чому француженка завжди готова насолодитися “розхристаним сексом” з коханим чоловіком, та інші моменти, що спонукають французів неперевершено володіти мистецтвом насолоди життям.
Тіло. Вас цікавить, чому француженки зазвичай не гладшають? Або — чому французам до вподоби принцип “погано зараз, добре потім”? Тут ви отримаєте відповіді на ці запитання.
Отже, підведемо підсумок: чому вас може зацікавити ця книга?
Вам буде цікаво прочитати книгу Дебри Олів'є “Що відомо француженкам про кохання, секс та інші приємні речі”, наприклад, якщо вам подобаються книги про культуру та побут різних народів... Або, скажімо, ви плануєте переїзд до Франції, й у зв'язку з цим хочете знати більше про особливості та звичаї французів. Чи у вас з'явилися нові знайомі з цієї країни, і ви хочете стати ближчими до них або ж не бажаєте неприємно вразити своїм нерозумінням їхнього світосприйняття. Ну, а якщо ви займаєтеся бізнесом і плануєте вийти на ринок у Франції — вам сто відсотків необхідно знати більше деталей портрету вашого потенційного французького клієнта, і ця книга певним чином привідкриє ворота до “таємних садів” французів :)
Якщо зараз ви шукаєте, яку книгу прочитати, візьміть з полиці магазину книгу Дебри. Тут ви не знайдете ілюстрацій з побуту мешканців Франції. Але точно довідаєтеся багато цікавого про французів — такого, що досі про них не чули. Окремо хочу відмітити майстерність перекладу В.Кучменко (на жаль, видавництво не публікує повне ім'я перекладача). Переклад виконаний з англійської на українську мову, на мій погляд, колоритно і вдало.
November 18, 2018
Більшість свого часу , я приділяю тому, щоб дізнатися світ. Людей, культуру. І с кожним разом мене щось дивує, десь обурює , а часом надає змогу відкрити душу для чогось нового . Знання і прагнення того, щоб бачити щось далі за свого носика-це велика сила, на жаль якою не всі хочуть користуватися, а можливо просто краще жити так , як є, тому що, пізнання чогось нового часом лякає і ти вже не маєш змоги жити як раніше, тому що прагнеш побачити і зрозуміти всю глибокість свого існування , тому більшість вибирає «плавати на поверхні».
Дуже цікава книжка, скажу про пару цікавих фактів , одним з яких я вже давно користуюсь і іншим яким почну користуватись. Мені дуже сподобалось ставлення француженок до сім`ї, я також вважаю , що щастя любить тишу, коли людина дійсно задоволення своїм становищем , їй не потрібно це виставляти на показ, а треба оберігати те, що має .
По-друге, це гостинність . Я звикла бачити , пари які запрошені до гостей , або ті, що сидять поруч, жінка когтями ціпляється за чоловіка, шаг вліво -шаг вправо -постріл. Бачу, як незручно знаходитись чоловікові якій постійно знаходиться під тиском «це не пий, це не їж, того не роби, цього не кажи»-чоловіки до жінок «просто помовчи, ти нічого не розумієш» і в мене завжди виникає питання «чому ви з цією людиною? Якщо є стільки зауважень до її існування як окрємої особистості ?». Є ще інший тип, коли приходять у гості , створюють два табори -курятник і табір орангутангів , чому взагалі ви пришли , якщо невзмозі говорити про щось всі разом, якщо не слухаєте один іншого тому що вам не цікаво , або вважаєте себе розумником? Французи розуміють , що таке задоволення, як його отримувати від спілкування. Тому , коли ви приходити у гості, господиня сама вказує хто куди повинен присісти , хлопчик-дівчинка -хлопчик -дівчинка і ви не будете сидіти поряд зі своєю дружиною чи чоловіком, ви дасте собі змогу їй/йому насолоджуватися спілкуванням з людьми, насолоджуватися компанією і висловлювати свою думку, не стукаючи чоловіка каблуком під столом. Бути вільним у відносинах, у тому сенсі , що людина , це людина розумна і вона моє право на то, щоби спілкуватися з іншими, без сорому , дихаючи вільно, приносячи багато кольорів в своє та ваше спільне життя. Ейнштейн колись сказав «чоловіки одружуються з жінками, сподіваючись, що ті ніколи не зміняться. Жінки виходять заміж, сподіваючись, що їхні обранці зміняться. І ті, й інші неодмінно розчаровуються.» Не треба нічого міняти, просто треба вірити в людину і пригадати, того, в кого ви колись закохались. Це і є сенс свободи. Ви дві окремих людини , які існують разом, кожен день працюючи над тим, щоб не тільки називатися сім’єю , а й набути сенсу бути сім’єю .
Дуже багато цікавого в цій книжці. Кому читати? Тим , хто любить дізнаватись щось нове і кожного дня працювати над собою і вчитись чомусь новому. Пам’ятайте , Декарт колись сказав «корисно знати про традиції різних народів, щоб мати змогу краще розуміти свій. Щоб не сприймати усе, що нам не приймання, як щось кумедне чи таке, що суперечить здоровому глузду, бо саме це звикли робити ті, хто нічого не бачив.»
August 11, 2024
An easy and entertaining read comparing French and American women and culture- go into it imagining like you’re reading gossip, like you’re reading “sex and the city”. The concepts are a bit black and white and olds (70s?), but it was recommended by my mom and a really fun book to read on vacation. Felt like it gave American women a bit of a bad rep but I did enjoy just hearing French ways of living
April 6, 2017
so I got this out of a little free library thinking it would be good in light of a certain, er, arrangement I've entered into lately. it wasn't much help at all.
I hate the way it's written. she goes for kitchy comparisons, inserting french brands into her similes. it's overwritten. "in short, french culture still turns out puff pastries like it did hundreds of years ago, just as, if we may be gastronomically audacious in our metaphors, it still turns out french women." gastronomically audacious. I like a plainer written text, myself.
the thing that most annoyed me is her digs at feminism. she makes a lot of statements about french women including the idea that this would make (american) feminists rattle their spears, or pound their spears on the ground, or something. she seems to position herself outside feminism, neither disavowing or claiming it. I don't think she really knows wtf feminism is. "I was also reminded of the terribly unfeminist french expression 'treat your husband like a lover and your wife like a mistress'. " why does she think that is unfeminist? it's certainly egalitarian, and it's just a reminder not to take your spouse for granted.
my main issue with her take on feminism is that she mildly but consistently pits french women against it. oh, french women love love love men. (in other words, american women, particularly feminists, do not.) french women don't bitch about their husbands. but the fact is, her book reveals that it is a deeper egalitarian sensibility in french culture that has led to a much less heated battle of the sexes in france than in the US. one of the main drivers is that french culture didn't have the same separation of the spheres into men-public life and women-private life that we saw in the eighteenth and nineteenth century in the US. french men and women have been socializing and working and revolting together all the way along. well, that sort of equality and access - that's what feminism advocates for. and it feeds into everything. she remarks that in the US there are narrow standards for female beauty, which causes both the women who meet them and the women who don't to resent men, while in france, beauty is given a much wider range, leading to a greater self-confidence for women who can be themselves and find their own style rather than trying to squeeze themselves into a restrictive mold. again, totally compatible with feminist discourse.
so yeah, as a comparison of the two cultures, this book is interesting. here's what happens when you don't disdain female voices for centuries, here's what happens when you don't have the protestant work ethic and the puritan view of sex as two major strains in your culture. here's what happens when you create social welfare and people don't have to worry about health insurance. she really stays too much on the surface of all this for me - I don't know if she is just not that kind of sociological thinker, or if she was trying to keep the focus of the book more towards a fluffy self help piece for american women who want to become freer from american mores and rules about love and sex.
as self help, it utterly fails. everything that's more relaxed and appealing about french women is 1) applicable to all french people and 2) a product of deep cultural differences. there's no take away for american women about how they can be more like french women, just sort of, wow, too bad for you that you were born here instead of there. it's really positioned this way - a cover blurb from the boston globe says "a gallic prescription for living a life that is richer, more sensual, messier, and a lot more fun." nope. no prescription at all. not one single hint or tip about how to think differently about love and sex than your own culture has drummed into you, just information about why another culture does. which shouldn't be surprising, but the book itself talks about how the french are rather mystified at this idea of continual rigorous self improvement and productivity rather than just enjoying life.
I mean, frankly, perhaps due to my more english atheist family of origin, I don't have as much buy in to the protestant work ethic and puritanical viewpoint as her sort of typified US woman. this is basically a book that says, hey, french culture is less sexist in some ways, and less uptight in some ways, than american culture. haven't liberals/progressives/lefties in the US accepted that the US gets wrong a lot of things that europe gets right already?
so I found the writing annoying, I found the whole premise of the book just to be a bad fit - this book will not help you to become more relaxed like a french woman naturally turns out because of her superior culture, lol. I guess it can show you an alternative that you can work towards or not.
I hate the way it's written. she goes for kitchy comparisons, inserting french brands into her similes. it's overwritten. "in short, french culture still turns out puff pastries like it did hundreds of years ago, just as, if we may be gastronomically audacious in our metaphors, it still turns out french women." gastronomically audacious. I like a plainer written text, myself.
the thing that most annoyed me is her digs at feminism. she makes a lot of statements about french women including the idea that this would make (american) feminists rattle their spears, or pound their spears on the ground, or something. she seems to position herself outside feminism, neither disavowing or claiming it. I don't think she really knows wtf feminism is. "I was also reminded of the terribly unfeminist french expression 'treat your husband like a lover and your wife like a mistress'. " why does she think that is unfeminist? it's certainly egalitarian, and it's just a reminder not to take your spouse for granted.
my main issue with her take on feminism is that she mildly but consistently pits french women against it. oh, french women love love love men. (in other words, american women, particularly feminists, do not.) french women don't bitch about their husbands. but the fact is, her book reveals that it is a deeper egalitarian sensibility in french culture that has led to a much less heated battle of the sexes in france than in the US. one of the main drivers is that french culture didn't have the same separation of the spheres into men-public life and women-private life that we saw in the eighteenth and nineteenth century in the US. french men and women have been socializing and working and revolting together all the way along. well, that sort of equality and access - that's what feminism advocates for. and it feeds into everything. she remarks that in the US there are narrow standards for female beauty, which causes both the women who meet them and the women who don't to resent men, while in france, beauty is given a much wider range, leading to a greater self-confidence for women who can be themselves and find their own style rather than trying to squeeze themselves into a restrictive mold. again, totally compatible with feminist discourse.
so yeah, as a comparison of the two cultures, this book is interesting. here's what happens when you don't disdain female voices for centuries, here's what happens when you don't have the protestant work ethic and the puritan view of sex as two major strains in your culture. here's what happens when you create social welfare and people don't have to worry about health insurance. she really stays too much on the surface of all this for me - I don't know if she is just not that kind of sociological thinker, or if she was trying to keep the focus of the book more towards a fluffy self help piece for american women who want to become freer from american mores and rules about love and sex.
as self help, it utterly fails. everything that's more relaxed and appealing about french women is 1) applicable to all french people and 2) a product of deep cultural differences. there's no take away for american women about how they can be more like french women, just sort of, wow, too bad for you that you were born here instead of there. it's really positioned this way - a cover blurb from the boston globe says "a gallic prescription for living a life that is richer, more sensual, messier, and a lot more fun." nope. no prescription at all. not one single hint or tip about how to think differently about love and sex than your own culture has drummed into you, just information about why another culture does. which shouldn't be surprising, but the book itself talks about how the french are rather mystified at this idea of continual rigorous self improvement and productivity rather than just enjoying life.
I mean, frankly, perhaps due to my more english atheist family of origin, I don't have as much buy in to the protestant work ethic and puritanical viewpoint as her sort of typified US woman. this is basically a book that says, hey, french culture is less sexist in some ways, and less uptight in some ways, than american culture. haven't liberals/progressives/lefties in the US accepted that the US gets wrong a lot of things that europe gets right already?
so I found the writing annoying, I found the whole premise of the book just to be a bad fit - this book will not help you to become more relaxed like a french woman naturally turns out because of her superior culture, lol. I guess it can show you an alternative that you can work towards or not.
February 24, 2013
"What French Women Know..." can be summed up with the most oft repeated phrase in the book, which is that French women are aware of "the brevity of life and the immediacy of pleasure." The author is an American who moved to France and married a French man and became a Francofile. She wrote this book exploring the differences between French and American women, focusing on love, sex, and food. All these three areas of life have an element of hunger to them. I would say after reading this book American women are more skilled at curbing and denying appetite and our culture more abusive in it's restrictions on our sexuality. How many times do you hear 'my d*ck' on the subway, compared to how many times you hear 'my vagina'... case in point. We live in a hyper macho society where the female body is simultaneously hidden away and objectified. In France it would seem women are in possession of their sexuality, they own it and they walk confidently in it. I'm also fascinated with the concept of 'ugly pretty' that Debra Ollivier describes as a phenomenon in France. "Jolie laide" is the French saying which means 'ugly pretty' in English - no real English equivalent exists. The term is used to describe women who are beautiful or sexy in an unconventional way. Every woman in France can feel sexy and beautiful based on who they are/ what they project from the inside (character, confidence etc...). This is not to say every woman does feel sexy in France, and a lot of the book is based on generalizations. In France the magazine cover beauty queen is still there, she just holds a lot less power over other women in France, and their ability to feel stunning. It seems American women could learn a thing or two from the French.
August 18, 2018
Art de Vivre, що означає мистецтво насолоджуватися життям - ось про що книжка. А конкретніше, то це прекрасний своєрідний «рецепт» щасливого та наповненого любов‘ю життя від французів.
Кожна третя сторінка цієї книжки у мене в помітках. Багато цікавих та корисних фраз, речень та цілих абзаців було виписано у блокнотик.
Кілька найулюбленіших з них занотую тут:
1. Чоловіків треба любити сильно. Дуже, дуже сильно. Інакше їх просто неможливо витримати.
2. Коли особисте життя людини стає надто відкритим, її внутрішня цінність нівелюється.
3. Хіба можна сподіватися на те, що хтось збереже нашу таємницю, якщо ми самі не здатні Ї зберегти?
4. Внутрішній світ є напрочуд сексуальним. Його слід живити, розвивати і плекати.
5. Француженки в цілому знають, ким вони є. Вони на тільки впевнені в собі, що це відчувається в повітрі - і, здається, абсолютно не переймаються з приводу того, що про них думають інші. Насправді так і є. І саме це робить їх настільки унікальними, коли йдеться про красу, стиль і їхнє je ne sais quoi.
6. Якщо ти всім подобаєшся, це означає, що в тобі немає «родзинки». Жодної унікальності, не кажучи вже про сексуальність.
7. Француженки не прагнуть всім подобатися, як і не прагнути бути «як інші». Ї просто байдуже. Така здатність наділяє цих жінок витримкою і неабиякою силою.
8. Розділити трапезу з іншою людиною - це інтимний акт, до якого не слід ставитися надто легковажно.
9. Француженки вірять у спокусливі атрибути внутрішнього світу. Вони знають, що розум - це сексуально. Їхня принадність - це не поверхневий гламур, а вміння плекати свій внутрішній світ.
Кожна третя сторінка цієї книжки у мене в помітках. Багато цікавих та корисних фраз, речень та цілих абзаців було виписано у блокнотик.
Кілька найулюбленіших з них занотую тут:
1. Чоловіків треба любити сильно. Дуже, дуже сильно. Інакше їх просто неможливо витримати.
2. Коли особисте життя людини стає надто відкритим, її внутрішня цінність нівелюється.
3. Хіба можна сподіватися на те, що хтось збереже нашу таємницю, якщо ми самі не здатні Ї зберегти?
4. Внутрішній світ є напрочуд сексуальним. Його слід живити, розвивати і плекати.
5. Француженки в цілому знають, ким вони є. Вони на тільки впевнені в собі, що це відчувається в повітрі - і, здається, абсолютно не переймаються з приводу того, що про них думають інші. Насправді так і є. І саме це робить їх настільки унікальними, коли йдеться про красу, стиль і їхнє je ne sais quoi.
6. Якщо ти всім подобаєшся, це означає, що в тобі немає «родзинки». Жодної унікальності, не кажучи вже про сексуальність.
7. Француженки не прагнуть всім подобатися, як і не прагнути бути «як інші». Ї просто байдуже. Така здатність наділяє цих жінок витримкою і неабиякою силою.
8. Розділити трапезу з іншою людиною - це інтимний акт, до якого не слід ставитися надто легковажно.
9. Француженки вірять у спокусливі атрибути внутрішнього світу. Вони знають, що розум - це сексуально. Їхня принадність - це не поверхневий гламур, а вміння плекати свій внутрішній світ.
April 13, 2011
I was a little disappointed when I started reading this when I discovered that it was just another view by an American embedded in Paris. My disappointment faded, however as the author turned against the social mores of American life with a persistent ferocity. She does not go so far as to say that the French way of life is perfect, or even 'near' perfect, but she does say that many aspects of French life are superior to the American Way.
I found myself agreeing with every frankly laid out point. American puritanism, greed, gluttony, conformity, and materialism all come into scope to be felled one by one as 'completely unacceptable' in French life... and the author contends that this is a shameful thing to persist in America as well. The title of the book might have been more aptly phrased, "What American (Canadian, British) Women (and Men) Don't Know."
What did I come away with? 1. Take notice of the mysterious nature of French women, but do not fear the mystery; accept it. 2. Men are expected to act like men in France, particularly around French women. 3. Never ever date an American woman if you can at all help it.
This was a great read, if not a bit preachy.
Enjoy my friends,
Robyn
I found myself agreeing with every frankly laid out point. American puritanism, greed, gluttony, conformity, and materialism all come into scope to be felled one by one as 'completely unacceptable' in French life... and the author contends that this is a shameful thing to persist in America as well. The title of the book might have been more aptly phrased, "What American (Canadian, British) Women (and Men) Don't Know."
What did I come away with? 1. Take notice of the mysterious nature of French women, but do not fear the mystery; accept it. 2. Men are expected to act like men in France, particularly around French women. 3. Never ever date an American woman if you can at all help it.
This was a great read, if not a bit preachy.
Enjoy my friends,
Robyn
July 17, 2013
It's not the shoes, the scarves, or the lipstick that gives French women their allure. It's this: French women don't give a damn. They don't expect men to understand them. They don't care about being liked or being like everyone else. They generally reject notions of packaged beauty. They accept the passage of time, celebrate the immediacy of pleasure, like to break rules, embrace ambiguity and imperfection, and prefer having a life to making a living. They are, in other words, completely unlike us.
Ollivier goes beyond familiar ooh-la-la stereotypes about French women, challenging cherished notions about sex, love, dating, marriage, motherhood, raising children, body politics, seduction, and flirtation. Less a how-to and more a how-not-to, What French Women Know offers a refreshing counterpoint to the stale love dogma of our times. Peppered with anecdotes from its Franco-American author and filled with provocative ideas from French sexperts, mistresses and maidens alike, it debunks longstanding myths, presenting savvy new thinking from an old sexy culture and more realistic, life-affirming alternatives from the land that knows how to love.
pub 2009
Ollivier goes beyond familiar ooh-la-la stereotypes about French women, challenging cherished notions about sex, love, dating, marriage, motherhood, raising children, body politics, seduction, and flirtation. Less a how-to and more a how-not-to, What French Women Know offers a refreshing counterpoint to the stale love dogma of our times. Peppered with anecdotes from its Franco-American author and filled with provocative ideas from French sexperts, mistresses and maidens alike, it debunks longstanding myths, presenting savvy new thinking from an old sexy culture and more realistic, life-affirming alternatives from the land that knows how to love.
pub 2009
February 25, 2011
I really enjoyed this book. I'd rather give it a 3.5 stars since I preferred the author/narrator when she spoke in the French accent. She seemed to rush the English portions a bit. I think she was nervous.
There is a lot of food for thought in this tiny tome. I felt like I was getting an opportunity to look into a Frenchman's mind which is very insightful since I live with one. It explains a lot: the nonchalance, the aloofness, the unfriendliness ... I could go on but then you'll wonder why I love the French so much.
The best part of reading this book was the really interesting discussion about American/Anglo-Saxon values and perceptions compared to French I had with Angelo until he sliced open his hand with the bread knife. (And yes he was eating a baguette with smelly cheese.) It was so fascinating. He even went on about how he loves how everyone is so polite in America and friendly and helpful.
Plus I heard the best joke/anecdote "Two Men & a Woman." It's very apropos (& a bit stereotypical) about culture. Email me if you want to read it.
There is a lot of food for thought in this tiny tome. I felt like I was getting an opportunity to look into a Frenchman's mind which is very insightful since I live with one. It explains a lot: the nonchalance, the aloofness, the unfriendliness ... I could go on but then you'll wonder why I love the French so much.
The best part of reading this book was the really interesting discussion about American/Anglo-Saxon values and perceptions compared to French I had with Angelo until he sliced open his hand with the bread knife. (And yes he was eating a baguette with smelly cheese.) It was so fascinating. He even went on about how he loves how everyone is so polite in America and friendly and helpful.
Plus I heard the best joke/anecdote "Two Men & a Woman." It's very apropos (& a bit stereotypical) about culture. Email me if you want to read it.
November 9, 2010
The book is exactly what it claims to be: a quick, fun examination of cultural differences in Lady Stuff (romance, bodies, relationships, diet) between French and American women. Besides her own experiences, the author includes quips from friends, popular culture, and philosophers to highlight the attitudes and stereotypes surrounding women in the two cultures. She keeps it light, highlighting that examining others allows us to see our own quirks, while lambasting The Rules mentality that American woman are said to have. Although she acknowledges she's making generalizations, by the end it starts to get a little old, but it's short and quick so by that point the book is already finished.
Although I'd recommend it to friends for a fun read, I admit I was embarrassed to show the cover when I was reading it on the subway.
Although I'd recommend it to friends for a fun read, I admit I was embarrassed to show the cover when I was reading it on the subway.
March 1, 2013
So what do we learn from the great country that gave us libertine passion; Marquis de Sade, and philosophical giant; Voltaire?
Apparently a lot! Especially on how its culture cultivated their women. I found this a great read especially because I am a non Aglo-Saxon, so it's basically learning both cultures for me.
I would love to inbreed some of this free-spirited values for myself, and can finally understand some of the things I don't understand when watching French movies!
I found this an entertaining read, as I am not partisan to any cultures, this afforded me a few chuckles here and there.
Very enlightening too. Read it and embrace the inner French girl in you that wants to come out.
After all, smart is sexy to the French, and a different opinion is greatly appreciated in their vibrant misery culture. Plus you don't get fat. :P
3.8/5. Recommended!
Apparently a lot! Especially on how its culture cultivated their women. I found this a great read especially because I am a non Aglo-Saxon, so it's basically learning both cultures for me.
I would love to inbreed some of this free-spirited values for myself, and can finally understand some of the things I don't understand when watching French movies!
I found this an entertaining read, as I am not partisan to any cultures, this afforded me a few chuckles here and there.
Very enlightening too. Read it and embrace the inner French girl in you that wants to come out.
After all, smart is sexy to the French, and a different opinion is greatly appreciated in their vibrant misery culture. Plus you don't get fat. :P
3.8/5. Recommended!
July 25, 2011
You know, it's just so strange to casually pick up what you think is going to be a quick light read that won't make any dents in your head, and find that some author just nails you when you least expected it. This woman explained some important things about living the good life, that has nothing to do with how we're taught to live the good life as AMERICANS. Really nothing. French women, it seems, are brought up in an adult culture, a confident culture, a culture that applauds the breaking of rules when the rules need to be broken. It's understood. It's confident. It's real in a way that we don't really understand. But I understand better now. And it's going to make a world of difference in my life, way more than any of the silly "believe it and you'll see it" books so many of us read.
May 31, 2017
Ця книга викликає дуже змішані почуття.
По-перше, вона складно читається, тому що містить багато посилань на різні дослідження і безліч порівнянь на кшталт "а американки те" "а француженки це".
По-друге, доводиться дуже багато інформації відкинути, щоб не втратити головну думку.
По-третє, після прочитання з сумом робиш невтішний висновок, що ми дууууже схожі на американок. Та, що там, наше суспільство дуже схоже на американське, на жаль. Чому на жаль? Та тому що ми женемося за якимись ефімерними ідеалами, забуваючи, що проживаємо життя цієї самої миті - вона прекрасна і неповторна.
По-четверте, знову захотілося у Францію, не обов'язково у Париж, але обов'язково не в туристичний.
Ну і останнє, і найкраще у цій книзі, після прочитання виникло бажання придбати нову білизну 😇
По-перше, вона складно читається, тому що містить багато посилань на різні дослідження і безліч порівнянь на кшталт "а американки те" "а француженки це".
По-друге, доводиться дуже багато інформації відкинути, щоб не втратити головну думку.
По-третє, після прочитання з сумом робиш невтішний висновок, що ми дууууже схожі на американок. Та, що там, наше суспільство дуже схоже на американське, на жаль. Чому на жаль? Та тому що ми женемося за якимись ефімерними ідеалами, забуваючи, що проживаємо життя цієї самої миті - вона прекрасна і неповторна.
По-четверте, знову захотілося у Францію, не обов'язково у Париж, але обов'язково не в туристичний.
Ну і останнє, і найкраще у цій книзі, після прочитання виникло бажання придбати нову білизну 😇
December 8, 2009
interesting to note that in America there is only one beauty the blond bimbo whereas in France beauty can take many different sides and intelligence is valued for a woman. The author points out that in America it is all about youth and fitting that narrow ideal whereas in France it is about adulthood and women regardless of age are/ feel sexy. They don't obsess about being the perfect woman and go to extremes about obsessing about their husband and children, being the perfect wife and mother and at the same time having a very neat and tidy household.
February 12, 2013
I loved this book. I think of the phrase, "you're too close to it to really see" when I read this and think about how I live my live. All the anxieties about love and relationships, the body and self confidence that we have as American women, (generally speaking) and then there are are women who live else where with out it? This is possible??? Who knew! lol. This painted an entirely different perspective for me and I couldn't stop reading. (Well, listening, it was a book on tape lol! I'm a cheater hehe). Excellent. I know I'll be enjoying it more than once.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 187 reviews