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Marriage Triggers: Exchanging Spouses' Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses
Foreword by Dave and Ashley Willis, authors of
The Naked Marriage
and hosts of The Naked Marriage Podcast
A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and applying God’s Word to radically transform relationships.
Many couples know their marriage has room for improvement, but it is hard to pinpoint exactly why a relationship is suffering. Often times everyday triggers are the culprit. If you are wondering how to break out of the cycle of reactionary outbursts, cold shoulders, resentment, and pain that harms your relationship, you are not alone. Experiencing peace and joy rather than anger and frustration is not as hard as you think!
Marriage Triggers walks you through thirty-one of the most common marital issues that sabotage great relationships, like poor communication, lack of spiritual leadership, busy schedules, and different parenting styles. Married for fourteen years, authors Amber and Guy Lia are your typical couple and they share tips for countering negative reactions to triggers with gentle, biblical responses.
Rather than run from the things that cause conflict, Amber and Guy believe these triggers are opportunities for growth, both individually and as a couple. They challenge you to let Marriage Triggers renew your commitment to responding gently and biblically towards your partner.
A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and applying God’s Word to radically transform relationships.
Many couples know their marriage has room for improvement, but it is hard to pinpoint exactly why a relationship is suffering. Often times everyday triggers are the culprit. If you are wondering how to break out of the cycle of reactionary outbursts, cold shoulders, resentment, and pain that harms your relationship, you are not alone. Experiencing peace and joy rather than anger and frustration is not as hard as you think!
Marriage Triggers walks you through thirty-one of the most common marital issues that sabotage great relationships, like poor communication, lack of spiritual leadership, busy schedules, and different parenting styles. Married for fourteen years, authors Amber and Guy Lia are your typical couple and they share tips for countering negative reactions to triggers with gentle, biblical responses.
Rather than run from the things that cause conflict, Amber and Guy believe these triggers are opportunities for growth, both individually and as a couple. They challenge you to let Marriage Triggers renew your commitment to responding gently and biblically towards your partner.
256 pages, Paperback
First published January 28, 2020
70 people are currently reading
366 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 68 reviews
December 21, 2019
4⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I was super excited about reading this with my husband. We have certainly had our ups and downs, and I couldn’t wait to learn more about dealing with him. Marriage is tough and it takes a strong constitution to stay in it. I love him. I really do. So we eagerly dove into this one.
This is a book that gave us transparent and practical insights from a couple, a lot like me and my husband, who love God and are still learning to love one another well. I loved chapter 3 about backseat drivers, very helpful. Not everything applied to us but they were helpful and encouraging. Below are some things I loved.
“We are strongly convinced that properly dealing with triggers is one of the biggest factors that leads to a healthy marriage.”
“Being proactive in our marriages prevents us from being reactive in our marriages.”
“Imagine what your marriage could be if you were completely in tune with each other’s greatest struggles, needs, desires, and hurts. Imagine how much closer you could be as husband and wife if those topics that cause instant arguments could become the very topics that lead to your most meaningful conversations. Imagine being the safest place on earth for each other.”
This was a NETGALLEY gift and all opinions are my own.
I was super excited about reading this with my husband. We have certainly had our ups and downs, and I couldn’t wait to learn more about dealing with him. Marriage is tough and it takes a strong constitution to stay in it. I love him. I really do. So we eagerly dove into this one.
This is a book that gave us transparent and practical insights from a couple, a lot like me and my husband, who love God and are still learning to love one another well. I loved chapter 3 about backseat drivers, very helpful. Not everything applied to us but they were helpful and encouraging. Below are some things I loved.
“We are strongly convinced that properly dealing with triggers is one of the biggest factors that leads to a healthy marriage.”
“Being proactive in our marriages prevents us from being reactive in our marriages.”
“Imagine what your marriage could be if you were completely in tune with each other’s greatest struggles, needs, desires, and hurts. Imagine how much closer you could be as husband and wife if those topics that cause instant arguments could become the very topics that lead to your most meaningful conversations. Imagine being the safest place on earth for each other.”
This was a NETGALLEY gift and all opinions are my own.
August 10, 2021
Awesome practical advice and good reminders on what a Christ centered marriage looks like.
November 19, 2019
Powerful does not even begin to describe this book. My husband and I are going through this book together as our nightly devotional, and it really has outline our conversations and guided them Biblically in order to analyze our relationship. It has given us both the push and the words to spark deeper conversations. It has allowed us to unpack years of baggage, and has showed us that God was missing at the center of our marriage. This book has sparked spiritual revival not only in our marriage but in our own personal walk with God. This will be a book that we read over and over again to remind us how to love, how to show grace, how to fight fair and how to live our marriage Biblically.
December 18, 2019
I love that this book is easy to read and process. Each chapter discusses one trigger, with our typical response, the biblical response and then practical ways to change our responses. It’s real and raw and has helped me look at things in my marriage differently. I’ve been convicted of sin I didn’t even realize was sin, I’ve prayed, I’ve learned, I’ve been comforted and encouraged. This will be a book I read over and over again.
November 2, 2025
Practical and realistic strategies, as well as encouragement to end the cycle of reactionary behaviours and arguments with your spouse.
January 2, 2020
Marriage Triggers is a must-have resource for any couple who desires a thriving marriage. With a well-balanced approach, Guy and Amber give your marriage a fighting chance by addressing triggers that threaten to divide you. Confront angry patterns with grace-infused conversations as you move toward a healthier, hope-filled relationship.
-Adam Reid, Lead Pastor at Central Church and Katie M. Reid, Author of Made Like Martha and Co-hosts of the live marriage show, "Stop! Hammock Time."
-Adam Reid, Lead Pastor at Central Church and Katie M. Reid, Author of Made Like Martha and Co-hosts of the live marriage show, "Stop! Hammock Time."
October 28, 2019
I read Parenting Triggers by this author several years ago. That is why I signed up to be part of the launch team for Marriage Triggers. Amber and her husband Guy break down many of the external and internal triggers that start fights in many couples relationships. Each chapter highlights a different trigger which is nice so you can hop around and read the ones applicable to you. They write with honesty and Biblical truth to help you and your spouse get your relationship on the right track. If you are looking for a book to help you in a hostile marriage or even a new marriage, this is a great tool to guide you both to the feet of Christ.
I received an early copy of this book from the publisher. This is my honest opinion.
I received an early copy of this book from the publisher. This is my honest opinion.
November 21, 2019
This book has already impacted our marriage in so many positive ways. Mainly because it’s caused me to take a look at my own side of the relationship and has opened my eyes to triggers I have I didn’t even know about! You cannot change your spouse, but you can sure change yourself in a positive way and pray for that spouse daily. God works in crazy ways and I can bet if you start praying for your spouse daily that your own heart will be softened toward them, plus they will see a difference that changes things in their own hearts. Highly recommend for any marriage, whether a healthy one fresh off the honeymoon boat or a seasoned one full of hurts and hang ups.
October 28, 2019
I honestly didn't know what to expect when I picked up Marriage Triggers. I didn't see how this book would help in my marriage situation and really thought my problems were beyond what this book could help. But wow...it has opened my eyes. I truly believe that there are always two sides to every story, and this book helped open my eyes to some of the underlying, destructive things I was doing in my marriage relationship. And I love how Guy and Amber offer such practical and biblical ways to counter the triggers in marriage. So glad I was able to read this book and so hopeful for the changes it will surely bring in me. Thanks for following God and writing this book!
October 29, 2019
Throughout the book “Marriage Triggers: Exchanging Spouses' Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses,” Amber and Guy Lia continually point their readers back to Scripture. I have appreciated the opportunities this book has given me to reflect on all God has done to mold me and transform our marriage. Time and again this book has reminded me to set aside my expectations and turn to God and his Word. God is for us and he is for our marriage! I highly encourage all married couples to read this book and allow your marriage to be transformed.
October 28, 2019
Marriage Triggers has truly been a blessing already in my marriage! Not even halfway through, my eyes are being open to MY need for my Loving Savior Jesus and MY heart is growing more and more personally and towards my husband! It has been convicting, loving, gentle, eye opening and encouraging. I am thankful for Amber and Guy for pouring their hearts into this book, the transparency given and this wonderful resource for marriages every where.
October 28, 2019
This is not a one-time read! Marriage Triggers is a must have tool for every engaged and married couple; It establishes the biblical truth and framework for the marriage Christ desires us to thrive in.
Gloria & Joe Lorusso
Bartlett, IL
Gloria & Joe Lorusso
Bartlett, IL
January 27, 2020
This book has been so convicting and encouraging. My marriage will never look the same! Thank you, Guy and Amber, for being open about your own triggers and passionate about helping others grow toward the true purpose of marriage!
November 6, 2019
I fell in love with the original Triggers book and love this one as well. If you feel stuck in a place where you’re waiting for your spouse to change, this book helps change your perspective and think about your own attitudes and reactions all while focused on a Christ-centered marriage.
January 28, 2020
This book is for ALL couples that want to make sure that Christ is at the center of their marriage. I think some people might read the title and keep going because they think they don't need it. We ALL need more of Jesus in the way that we respond to our spouses. This book helps us to realize areas that we need to make adjustments in that we didn't even know were off. On the other hand, it helps provide practical, Biblical direction for the areas that we KNOW we need help in. The chapters are easy to read and alternate between Amber and her husband, Guy. It's NOT just for women. It's for men, too and best when read together from hearts that long for Christ to be glorified. My husband and I both know the Lord very well, but we still struggle with our reactions in specific areas and so I'm grateful to have another married couple that loves the Lord enough to boldly share their own shortcomings that others might gain Christ. Ultimately, this means that the Father is the one that is glorified! If you and your spouse are struggling to make Christ the center of your marriage, it's time to read this book!
March 3, 2020
After reading the original Triggers and having a transformation in my parenting, I opened my copy of Marriage Triggers with great expectations. I was not disappointed. Within the first few days, I quickly noticed a change in my heart that triggered a change in my marriage. Marriage Triggers is a wonderful balance of conviction and encouragement, wrapped up beautifully with God's Word. Whether your marriage is in need of a minor tune-up or a major overhaul, this book is a great tool that will help you to see those annoying marriage triggers as opportunities to draw closer to Jesus
February 5, 2020
So many great insights in this book that I wouldn't have ever thought about. And the guidance and help in addressing all the different triggers is wonderful and eye opening! It's an amazing book and if you are able to read it and put it into practice, I truly believe that not only can your marriage be changed, but the relationships you have with everyone around you can be as well! Amazing and life changing!
January 28, 2020
This book is better than good. It's really the perfect book for every marriage, those who are newlyweds and those who've been married for 30 years. The Lia's take turns in writing the chapters, so you will hear from both perspectives which is perfect for the couple reading this together. (which I think is a good idea) They address many triggers a marriage may face including: in-laws, finances, communication and intimacy. If you, like God, want your marriage to THRIVE, you should read this book. If your marriage is already thriving, read this for encouragement to keep those flames burning! You will have a renewed understanding of each other as well as the scriptures to fall back on when times may get tough. This is an awesome resource, truly inspired by the Lord. You will not be disappointed!
February 1, 2020
In the marriage triggers book I have been able to look through my marriage from another lens. Even though I can’t relate to all of the marriage triggers it is great to be aware of several of them so I don’t fall into any of those triggers. I think that many couples could gain a lot from this book and become aware of the 31 most common marriage triggers. The book certainly gives you a lot to think about regarding your own marriage and own you can make it better.
February 2, 2020
This book has had such a huge impact in my marriage! My husband and I had the opportunity to read it before it’s release- Amber and Guy are so easy to relate to and I’m so thankful for the way they transparently share their journey and the things they have learned over the years. My husband and I were able to really sit back and have some amazing conversations throughout the book. I’d HIGHLY recommend this book to any of my married friends. It is easy to read and yet full wisdom.
February 5, 2020
I was so excited to see that Amber and Guy were coming out with Marriage Triggers. This is a great marriage resource that brings in perspectives from both Amber and Guy of common marriage triggers. They guide readers by sharing real life examples and give gentle biblical responses to those conflicts that tend to trigger anger.
February 21, 2020
I loved Parenting Triggers and I loved Parenting Scripts, so when I saw that there was a Marriage Triggers coming out I was on board! I wish I could’ve read this 10 years ago when I was a newlywed! I will definitely be buying this as marriage gifts for newly married couples! This is really important information that is easier read than figuring out first hand!
May 7, 2020
I had lots of reflections as I read this book. I also realized how many of these things I was dealing with in my own marriage but not entirely conscience of it all. I appreciate the Lia's being willing to write a book that allows people to see what the big triggers can be and to ultimately remind them to ask God for help/to start over in their marriage.
February 21, 2022
This books was beneficial for those struggling in marriage. The thing I would want women especially to be wary of is the use of both extreme christian conservative + liberal ideologies Amber uses to whichever point she is trying to make. It can be damaging on both ends of the spectrum of thought, if you swing one way or the other. Other than that, it is a good read.
October 13, 2025
This is a great book to read for strengthening your marriage! Biblical grounded in each chaos. Regardless if you're going through hardships, healing from past wounds, or wanting to maintain a rocking marriage.
The chapters are broken up in an easy to read and take in. Also, it's from the perspective of both a wife and a husband. Which is nice to get the perspective of both in the marriage.
The chapters are broken up in an easy to read and take in. Also, it's from the perspective of both a wife and a husband. Which is nice to get the perspective of both in the marriage.
March 1, 2020
Get ready for real marriage topics to be shared! This book discussed real and quite difficult topics that I have experienced in my marriage. Amber and Guy have done a good job of sharing biblical truths to overcome obstacles in your marriage along with practical solutions.
January 26, 2020
I was given an early copy of this book from the publisher as part of the launch team. Honestly, I was frustrated with my marriage, and I needed help. I thought it would help me figure out how to change the parts of my husband that was difficult for me to live with. Instead, it truly opened my eyes to my own selfishness and how my own thoughts and actions were setting my husband and our marriage up for failure. I appreciate how honest Guy and Amber were about their marriage triggers, how they worked and continue to work through them, scripture they shared, and prayers at the end of each chapter.
I would thoroughly recommend this book for all couples! I think one spouse can read this alone and benefit. However, I feel from personal experience it would be best read as a couple. I read most of it without my spouse, and it caused some bitterness I had to work through!
I would thoroughly recommend this book for all couples! I think one spouse can read this alone and benefit. However, I feel from personal experience it would be best read as a couple. I read most of it without my spouse, and it caused some bitterness I had to work through!
January 29, 2020
Whether you're recently engaged or just celebrating 50 years together, this book truly has something for every couple. Marriage is not always roses and bubbly champagne, as we all know. Life can be messy and if you have a lot of triggers in your marriage, it can be explosive. Guy and Amber Lia tackle the little things in life that can trigger not so little reactions in our marriages, one short chapter at a time. A great book to read and share with all your married friends and a total marriage game changer!
February 3, 2020
This book was just “meh” for me. I probably would have appreciated it more as a newlywed but the advice fell flat for me (married 6 years with 3 children)
March 3, 2020
Loved this book! They incorporate scripture and real life stories and struggles they have had and worked through. This book is a must for any and all marriages.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 68 reviews