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The Opposite of Certainty: Fear, Faith, and Life in Between
What happens when we can no longer pretend that the ground underfoot is bedrock and the sky above predictable?
All Janine Urbaniak Reid ever wanted was for everyone she loved to be okay so she might relax and maybe be happy. Her life strategy was simple: do everything right. This included trying to be the perfect mother to her three kids so they would never experience the kind of pain she pretended not to feel growing up. What she didn’t expect was the chaos of an out-of-control life that begins when her young son’s hand begins to shake.
The Opposite of Certainty is the story of Janine’s reluctant journey beyond easy answers and platitudes. She searches for a source of strength bigger than her circumstances, only to have her circumstances become even thornier with her own crisis. Drawn deeply and against her will into herself, and into the eternal questions we all ask, she discovers hidden reserves of strength, humor, and a no-matter-what faith that looks nothing like she thought it would.
Beautifully written and deeply hopeful, Janine shows us how can we come through impossible times, transformed and yet more ourselves than we’d ever allowed ourselves to be.
All Janine Urbaniak Reid ever wanted was for everyone she loved to be okay so she might relax and maybe be happy. Her life strategy was simple: do everything right. This included trying to be the perfect mother to her three kids so they would never experience the kind of pain she pretended not to feel growing up. What she didn’t expect was the chaos of an out-of-control life that begins when her young son’s hand begins to shake.
The Opposite of Certainty is the story of Janine’s reluctant journey beyond easy answers and platitudes. She searches for a source of strength bigger than her circumstances, only to have her circumstances become even thornier with her own crisis. Drawn deeply and against her will into herself, and into the eternal questions we all ask, she discovers hidden reserves of strength, humor, and a no-matter-what faith that looks nothing like she thought it would.
Beautifully written and deeply hopeful, Janine shows us how can we come through impossible times, transformed and yet more ourselves than we’d ever allowed ourselves to be.
304 pages, Paperback
First published May 12, 2020
73 people are currently reading
1598 people want to read
About the author
Janine Urbaniak Reid
1 book18 followersJanine Urbaniak Reid writes about her imperfect life, what connects us, and addresses the question of what it means to love fiercely in a sometimes dangerous and always uncertain world.
She was born in Chicago and grew up in California. She graduated from the University of California at San Diego. She was vice president of a San Francisco public relations firm before she began raising a family, and then writing full time.
Janine has been published in the Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, San Francisco Chronicle, and widely syndicated. Hoping to bring humanity into the healthcare discussion by sharing her experience, she penned a piece for the Post which went viral. She has been interviewed on national news networks, and continues her work as a spokeswoman for healthcare justice.
She lives in Northern California with her family and a motley assortment of pets.
She was born in Chicago and grew up in California. She graduated from the University of California at San Diego. She was vice president of a San Francisco public relations firm before she began raising a family, and then writing full time.
Janine has been published in the Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, San Francisco Chronicle, and widely syndicated. Hoping to bring humanity into the healthcare discussion by sharing her experience, she penned a piece for the Post which went viral. She has been interviewed on national news networks, and continues her work as a spokeswoman for healthcare justice.
She lives in Northern California with her family and a motley assortment of pets.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 58 reviews
May 6, 2020
If you enjoy medical memoirs, this book is for you. If you are a perfectionist, this book is also for you. I personally struggle with wanting life for my family “just so” and this book beautifully illustrates the freedom in letting go of the past and living in the present. The writing was excellent and I would love to read more by this author.
I will be posting a review on my blog shortly.
I will be posting a review on my blog shortly.
May 5, 2020
What happens when we can no longer pretend that the ground underfoot is bedrock and the sky above predictable? Thank you @thomasnelson and @tlcbooktours for sending me The Opposite of Certainty by @janineurbaniakreid. What a timely book as our nation and the entire globe navigates together this time of uncertainty.
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When @annelamott writes the forward to a book, you have to read it. A couple quotes grabbed me from her forward. 💖💖
“God comes to comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.” 💖💖
“This is a handbook for how we might all come through impossible times, transformed and yet more ourselves than we’d ever allowed ourselves to be.” 💖💖
That resonated so deeply with the season I find myself in. Not only in regards to covid-19. But the season of uncertainty and rebirth after leaving a 15 year career in youth ministry.
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Janine begins her story with “I want to tell this story as if it happened to someone else.” How many of us after a season of trials have felt these words ourselves. If you are facing uncertainty and want a guide to walk with you, I highly recommend this book
.
.
All Janine Urbaniak Reid ever wanted was for everyone she loved to be okay so she might relax and maybe be happy. Her life strategy was simple: do everything right. This included trying to be the perfect mother to her three kids so they would never experience the kind of pain she pretended not to feel growing up. What she didn’t expect was the chaos of an out-of-control life that begins when her young son’s hand begins to shake.
The Opposite of Certainty is the story of Janine’s reluctant journey beyond easy answers and platitudes. She searches for a source of strength bigger than her circumstances, only to have her circumstances become even thornier with her own crisis. Drawn deeply and against her will into herself, and into the eternal questions we all ask, she discovers hidden reserves of strength, humor, and a no-matter-what faith that looks nothing like she thought it would.
Beautifully written and deeply hopeful, Janine shows us how we can come through impossible times transformed and yet more ourselves than we’ve ever allowed ourselves to be.
.
.
When @annelamott writes the forward to a book, you have to read it. A couple quotes grabbed me from her forward. 💖💖
“God comes to comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.” 💖💖
“This is a handbook for how we might all come through impossible times, transformed and yet more ourselves than we’d ever allowed ourselves to be.” 💖💖
That resonated so deeply with the season I find myself in. Not only in regards to covid-19. But the season of uncertainty and rebirth after leaving a 15 year career in youth ministry.
.
.
Janine begins her story with “I want to tell this story as if it happened to someone else.” How many of us after a season of trials have felt these words ourselves. If you are facing uncertainty and want a guide to walk with you, I highly recommend this book
.
.
All Janine Urbaniak Reid ever wanted was for everyone she loved to be okay so she might relax and maybe be happy. Her life strategy was simple: do everything right. This included trying to be the perfect mother to her three kids so they would never experience the kind of pain she pretended not to feel growing up. What she didn’t expect was the chaos of an out-of-control life that begins when her young son’s hand begins to shake.
The Opposite of Certainty is the story of Janine’s reluctant journey beyond easy answers and platitudes. She searches for a source of strength bigger than her circumstances, only to have her circumstances become even thornier with her own crisis. Drawn deeply and against her will into herself, and into the eternal questions we all ask, she discovers hidden reserves of strength, humor, and a no-matter-what faith that looks nothing like she thought it would.
Beautifully written and deeply hopeful, Janine shows us how we can come through impossible times transformed and yet more ourselves than we’ve ever allowed ourselves to be.
May 26, 2020
This is one of the most real feeling book that I have read in a long while. the fact that Janine shared her family story was inspiring. I felt for her son, Mason. Yet, the chipper attitude that Mason maintained despite his situation was uplifting.
What I liked about this book was the fact that Janine did not sugarcoat her son's cancer or the feelings that she was experiencing. Janine was not happy or thinking positive thoughts all the time. She was worried, upset, frustrated, and thankful when Mason was given the "all clear" and graduated high school.
I dare you to not feel anything while reading this book. You might even shed a tear or two. God is great. Faith and pray in him can bring miracles.
What I liked about this book was the fact that Janine did not sugarcoat her son's cancer or the feelings that she was experiencing. Janine was not happy or thinking positive thoughts all the time. She was worried, upset, frustrated, and thankful when Mason was given the "all clear" and graduated high school.
I dare you to not feel anything while reading this book. You might even shed a tear or two. God is great. Faith and pray in him can bring miracles.
June 13, 2020
This was an amazing story to read. It was difficult for me, at times, to continue, because my heart was breaking for Janine, her husband, children and especially Mason. We almost lost our daughter to an eating disorder many years ago and this stirred up some very traumatic memories. My husband actually told me to put the book aside, as life right now with Covid, is difficult enough, but I had to persevere and keep reading. This is a beautifully written testament to the strength of a family and the courage it takes to keep fighting for your children's health, both physical and mental. I imagine this might be too difficult for some to read, so look inside yourself to see how much you can deal with before you proceed.
March 30, 2021
This book instills every mama’s worst fear, and yet I read it with such respect for the author and her desperate determination, when there is nothing left to do but persevere.
August 21, 2022
This was an honest journey through a family's medical crisis, as recorded by the mother. There is reflection on self and the imperfect medical process in the United States. Perhaps unintentionally, the issues of lack of support for caregivers, and lack of follow up care for newly released hospital patients, and limited care for head trauma patients are also displayed. Reid clearly can rely on resources from a financially successful husband; the level of insurance coverage, and personal expenses they were able to absorb directly contributed to their son's treatments, and recovery. Reid's struggles with faith were honest and open; yet I never felt that they morphed into a strong unshakable resolve. More of a tentative hope that there is something bigger than ourselves in the universe. Would not recommend.
May 30, 2020
It is always tough to "rate" a memoir. This is someone's actual life experience and my opinion on the matter doesn't change what happed to them. But I did want so much more from this book.
This is the account of one woman's life as she deals with the diagnosis, procedures, and multiple life changes that come about after they find out her son has a brain tumor. For such a short book, it covers a broad time period - from when her son was little and she saw the first signs of hand tremors to when he graduates from High School.
The author does a wonderful job of detailing the events as they transpired. She gives accounts of everything from doctor visits to schooling, friendship and marriage struggles. She goes in chronological order which makes the story easy to follow.
What I wanted from the book was more opening. More deep connections from this powerful experience. I was hoping for encouragement or hope for how to manage these situations and others when life throws you a curve ball. I feel like this was a detached retelling of events more than a soulful rally for support.
Which may have totally been her point, hence the tough ability to rate a memoir! I wanted a more personal story filled with ways I can connect to my own issues. She provided a step by step account of her journey. I think if you have a child with medical issues, this is a book that will make you feel less alone in your journey. The need for child advocacy was a theme throughout.
This is the account of one woman's life as she deals with the diagnosis, procedures, and multiple life changes that come about after they find out her son has a brain tumor. For such a short book, it covers a broad time period - from when her son was little and she saw the first signs of hand tremors to when he graduates from High School.
The author does a wonderful job of detailing the events as they transpired. She gives accounts of everything from doctor visits to schooling, friendship and marriage struggles. She goes in chronological order which makes the story easy to follow.
What I wanted from the book was more opening. More deep connections from this powerful experience. I was hoping for encouragement or hope for how to manage these situations and others when life throws you a curve ball. I feel like this was a detached retelling of events more than a soulful rally for support.
Which may have totally been her point, hence the tough ability to rate a memoir! I wanted a more personal story filled with ways I can connect to my own issues. She provided a step by step account of her journey. I think if you have a child with medical issues, this is a book that will make you feel less alone in your journey. The need for child advocacy was a theme throughout.
May 27, 2022
Beautifully written. Breaks your heart and then fills you with joy. The author’s son is diagnosed with a brain tumor when he’s 8 and this is the story of his survival, an honest and open book about the struggles this family survived.
June 5, 2020
The Opposite of Certainty is a great read that shows us that we are stronger than we know, especially when we face tough times. Janine details the experience of finding out about her son's brain tumor, learning how to cope with her emotions, and trying to stay strong through it all.
Janine starts out by taking her son Mason to get a check-up for some tremors. She knew and felt that something was wrong but tests came back negative. After living a pretty normal life, she noticed that her son's symptoms were getting worse and were more noticeable. Her mother's instinct kicked it and she took him back to a specialist. It turned out that he had a brain tumor.
She didn't want her son to go through radiation or chemotherapy if it wasn't absolutely necessary. When some doctors thought she might be crazy because she didn't automatically agree with that treatment, she still sought out a second opinion.
This book reminded me to trust yourself. I have experienced something like Janine and spent many times at a hospital caring for a loved one. Sometimes we notice symptoms or things that are just off that doctors and nurses wouldn't automatically look for. That doesn't make us wrong for pointing it out. Maybe it's our way of coping but maybe God made us see it so that we could catch it and bring it to a medical professional's attention.
When you go through a stressful time, you constantly feel stressed and on edge. Worrying becomes the norm. But I believe that faith and prayer can help us no matter what. And Janine proved that it helped too.
I give The Opposite of Certainty 5 stars. I loved that Janine opened up completely and that will allow readers to understand her decisions and emotions. Janine, you are a strong woman, mother, and cancer survivor. Thank you for writing this breathtaking book.
Janine starts out by taking her son Mason to get a check-up for some tremors. She knew and felt that something was wrong but tests came back negative. After living a pretty normal life, she noticed that her son's symptoms were getting worse and were more noticeable. Her mother's instinct kicked it and she took him back to a specialist. It turned out that he had a brain tumor.
She didn't want her son to go through radiation or chemotherapy if it wasn't absolutely necessary. When some doctors thought she might be crazy because she didn't automatically agree with that treatment, she still sought out a second opinion.
This book reminded me to trust yourself. I have experienced something like Janine and spent many times at a hospital caring for a loved one. Sometimes we notice symptoms or things that are just off that doctors and nurses wouldn't automatically look for. That doesn't make us wrong for pointing it out. Maybe it's our way of coping but maybe God made us see it so that we could catch it and bring it to a medical professional's attention.
When you go through a stressful time, you constantly feel stressed and on edge. Worrying becomes the norm. But I believe that faith and prayer can help us no matter what. And Janine proved that it helped too.
I give The Opposite of Certainty 5 stars. I loved that Janine opened up completely and that will allow readers to understand her decisions and emotions. Janine, you are a strong woman, mother, and cancer survivor. Thank you for writing this breathtaking book.
September 30, 2020
From the opening line, I found this mom’s story instantly relatable – “I want to tell this story as if it happened to someone else,” she writes – and from reading about an experience that includes dealing with a child’s illness, it is easy to see why a parent might want to remove themselves from the narrative.
Her introspection answers questions posed to her: “What did you do to make God so mad at you?” What did you do wrong that caused your child to be sick?
Despite the difficult subject matter, the book was easy to read and enthralling all the way through. Reid describes challenges plaguing many mothers – deciding whether to work outside the home or devote her time to raising the children, and what that means for her other identities as a wife and indeed as a woman in her own right. But even more than that, she delves into the issues that existed long before she took on those other selves, exploring the depth of her early life. The memoir emphasizes religious faith and how its discovery helps in the definition and experience of the issues plaguing Reid and her family and it was inspiring to read about their overcoming the challenges. Reading this book invites introspection into our own experiences but it also gives hopeful perspective and spreads a feeling of warmth as though the author invited you into the intimacies of her life. The Opposite of Certainty is a book to recommend to any parent or any who’s ever navigated the health care system, either as a patient or a nervous care giver.
Note: I received a complimentary copy of the book from Thomas Nelson Publishers and TLC Book Tours in exchange for an honest review
Her introspection answers questions posed to her: “What did you do to make God so mad at you?” What did you do wrong that caused your child to be sick?
Despite the difficult subject matter, the book was easy to read and enthralling all the way through. Reid describes challenges plaguing many mothers – deciding whether to work outside the home or devote her time to raising the children, and what that means for her other identities as a wife and indeed as a woman in her own right. But even more than that, she delves into the issues that existed long before she took on those other selves, exploring the depth of her early life. The memoir emphasizes religious faith and how its discovery helps in the definition and experience of the issues plaguing Reid and her family and it was inspiring to read about their overcoming the challenges. Reading this book invites introspection into our own experiences but it also gives hopeful perspective and spreads a feeling of warmth as though the author invited you into the intimacies of her life. The Opposite of Certainty is a book to recommend to any parent or any who’s ever navigated the health care system, either as a patient or a nervous care giver.
Note: I received a complimentary copy of the book from Thomas Nelson Publishers and TLC Book Tours in exchange for an honest review
May 21, 2020
This is a beautifully written, honest account of thinking you have everything under control, and then you hear the words that your child has cancer. And still trying to control things from there. I cannot fathom how I would handle that news, but I can absolutely relate to 'knowing better than God' as He has better things to worry about, so I'll just take it from here, thank you very much. I think that Janine said it best in here, it was something to the effect of, yes I trust God, I just don't trust Him with my kids. She is honest with her faith, her journey with Mason and his treatments, her marriage and the struggles that it went through as she was reluctant to let go of what she thought was best for everyone. It was tough to read about the doctors that were so off the mark with Mason at times, but his parents (and God) were there every time.
It is not an easy read, but you can appreciate her honesty, and her self-awareness throughout this book. I devoured this in one day, I could not put it down. It was such a great read, and an ultimate reminder that even though no matter the situation, God is ultimately in control, and we are not.
Thank you to W Publishing and TLC Book Tours for the free book to review.
It is not an easy read, but you can appreciate her honesty, and her self-awareness throughout this book. I devoured this in one day, I could not put it down. It was such a great read, and an ultimate reminder that even though no matter the situation, God is ultimately in control, and we are not.
Thank you to W Publishing and TLC Book Tours for the free book to review.
May 20, 2020
Oh man. This book is an emotional roller-coaster, especially if you're a mom and you can't even fathom hearing that your child has cancer. You go through this book feeling what she's feeling and it is so hard to put down. Almost like if you put this down something awful is going to happen to Mason. Personally I have been through a significant trauma and I really identified with a lot of her feelings throughout and that just really hit home for me.
I'll have a full, more in-depth review on my blog on 5/28/20: my link text
I'll have a full, more in-depth review on my blog on 5/28/20: my link text
June 20, 2020
Really 3.5 for me. This was an interesting book for me to read. Mason is a young boy with a brain tumor and his mother details his journey. I could relate to both Mason and his mother and what they were both feeling as I traveled a journey of a brain cancer as well. People tell you how brave you are but really you put one foot in front of the next each day. Both Mason and my journey traveled to a good space.
July 26, 2020
What do you do when the bottom falls out of your "perfect" and predictable life? Author Janine Reid takes on this question as she shares her family's journey of faith in the midst of health crises that turned their lives upside down. She is very transparent about her own struggles and the impact of a devastating diagnosis on the entire family. Sometimes faith holds on by a thread ... but it does hold on.
September 12, 2020
This is a memoir about the journey of a well off mother coping with her child’s cancer and it’s impact on her and her family. It’s certainly heartbreaking and reels my attention but I did not feel that it lived up to the power or depth implied in the description. The glowing endorsement by Anne Lamont (one of the author’s best friends) stating that this is the book for these uncertain times left me expecting more.
October 12, 2020
2020 has been a year of collective uncertainty - we have all had to deal with disappointment and change and being forced to let go of our plans for what we thought this year would look like.
In The Opposite of Certainty, Janine Urbaniak Reid shares with us her experience of letting go of perfection when her son was diagnosed with a brain tumor. I listened to the audiobook and it felt like a good friend sharing her experiences. While this was written before this year, I couldn’t help but draw comparisons to our current pandemic lives. I appreciate her honesty and openness about her experiences.
Thank you to Thomas Nelson and Netgalley for the free ebook, I also got the audiobook from the library.
In The Opposite of Certainty, Janine Urbaniak Reid shares with us her experience of letting go of perfection when her son was diagnosed with a brain tumor. I listened to the audiobook and it felt like a good friend sharing her experiences. While this was written before this year, I couldn’t help but draw comparisons to our current pandemic lives. I appreciate her honesty and openness about her experiences.
Thank you to Thomas Nelson and Netgalley for the free ebook, I also got the audiobook from the library.
June 14, 2020
From the moment Danica’s head fell crooked I was thrust into the frightening and lonely life of following my mama gut and fighting for the best neurosurgical care for my girl. I’ve never read a memoir that so genuinely reflected the excruciating details of this hard as well as the complicated relationship to one’s self in this mother sacrifice. The marriage thread will stay with me most. I finished and immediately gave it to my husband to read.
July 21, 2020
This is a clear eyed account of a family life that is turned upside down when one of the kids is diagnosed with a life threatening disease... one that is misunderstood and dodgy and doesn’t follow a predictable path.
I discovered this book through an Anne Lamott recommendation - turns out Anne is a good friend of the author and walked along side her during Mason’s journey.
There is so many things I loved about this book...
I loved Janine’s candid portrayal of a mom’s authentic and vulnerable self as she does her very best to shepherd her son through the treatment. I saw myself in her portrayal on so many levels—- my need for control and stuffing every emotion to hold it together and building protective walls. So by the end of the book I felt like I was sitting with a friend nodding at all of the wisdom she gained about herself through the process. She is an awesome mom but she is not perfect. And I loved that she was honest about that.
I loved her son, Mason and his gentle kind soul. Their relationship at the end of the book was so sweet. Good luck Mason, in whatever you decide to do in life!!
Rarely does a story like this examine a marriage under extreme stress and do it fairly. I applaud the author for her gentle but authentic portrayal of their marriage. I let out a cheer when Alan decided to stay in Houston.
And lastly, I loved her faith filled and supportive friends. Friends make all the difference in the world in hard times.
One of my favorite quotes (p230)
“It’s like this with God and me. I feel hopeless. I feel afraid. My mind calculates risks and estimates what I can buy insurance for. A friend once joked that our minds are suited for math problems. Meaning, data goes in and the synapses fire in search of answers. I can be distracted by my mathematical abilities that I forget certain solutions are above my grade level.”
“Remember you have a God in your life, and so do your kids.”
“I survive on messy grace that holds me upright and propels me forward from one day to the next. So far, there’s always enough”.
I discovered this book through an Anne Lamott recommendation - turns out Anne is a good friend of the author and walked along side her during Mason’s journey.
There is so many things I loved about this book...
I loved Janine’s candid portrayal of a mom’s authentic and vulnerable self as she does her very best to shepherd her son through the treatment. I saw myself in her portrayal on so many levels—- my need for control and stuffing every emotion to hold it together and building protective walls. So by the end of the book I felt like I was sitting with a friend nodding at all of the wisdom she gained about herself through the process. She is an awesome mom but she is not perfect. And I loved that she was honest about that.
I loved her son, Mason and his gentle kind soul. Their relationship at the end of the book was so sweet. Good luck Mason, in whatever you decide to do in life!!
Rarely does a story like this examine a marriage under extreme stress and do it fairly. I applaud the author for her gentle but authentic portrayal of their marriage. I let out a cheer when Alan decided to stay in Houston.
And lastly, I loved her faith filled and supportive friends. Friends make all the difference in the world in hard times.
One of my favorite quotes (p230)
“It’s like this with God and me. I feel hopeless. I feel afraid. My mind calculates risks and estimates what I can buy insurance for. A friend once joked that our minds are suited for math problems. Meaning, data goes in and the synapses fire in search of answers. I can be distracted by my mathematical abilities that I forget certain solutions are above my grade level.”
“Remember you have a God in your life, and so do your kids.”
“I survive on messy grace that holds me upright and propels me forward from one day to the next. So far, there’s always enough”.
September 27, 2020
This is the story of a woman who is usually in control and then has to contend with one of her children having a tumor (not a spoiler because this comes very early in the book).
The central theme seems to be her realizing that she cannot control everything that might affect her children. She also grapples with what it means to be a person of faith when bad things happen. A striking subtheme is how insensitive others can be when they encounter suffering.
I did not enjoy this book on several levels. First, some key sentences were written in a way that the meaning was unclear. I don't think this was intentional. Second, I had a difficult time sympathizing with the author's struggles over uncertainty. Most of us become accustomed to uncertainty and lack of control without having to encounter something as dramatic as a child with a tumor. It kind of feels like this woman had an uncannily planned life up until this event. This made it difficult for me to connect with her suffering.
I decided not to finish this book about halfway in.
The central theme seems to be her realizing that she cannot control everything that might affect her children. She also grapples with what it means to be a person of faith when bad things happen. A striking subtheme is how insensitive others can be when they encounter suffering.
I did not enjoy this book on several levels. First, some key sentences were written in a way that the meaning was unclear. I don't think this was intentional. Second, I had a difficult time sympathizing with the author's struggles over uncertainty. Most of us become accustomed to uncertainty and lack of control without having to encounter something as dramatic as a child with a tumor. It kind of feels like this woman had an uncannily planned life up until this event. This made it difficult for me to connect with her suffering.
I decided not to finish this book about halfway in.
June 14, 2020
This book read like a journal to me. It had the chronological play by play and some introspection, but I kept wanting to press pause and ask the author to talk more about this or that epiphany she had had or something that she had learned.
May 18, 2020
This book is about the spiritual and medical journey Janine went through caring for her son Mason. Mason was diagnosed with a brain tumor at age 11, went into the ICU at 15, and continues to this day with the damage to his brain. But Janine’s book is about the spiritual journey coming from a near perfect life. The odd thing is her experiences dealing with Mason’s brain tumor provides insight into dealing with Covid-19 right now in mid-2020.
The parallels between the events and feelings in this book are similar if not identical to what is going on in life, society, and our personal selves during the Covid-19 pandemic. Janine describes her journey through life taking care of her son Mason, her family, and her life, juggling everything as her formerly secure life changes into something else. The title says it all: once she was certain about the trajectory and quality of her life. Now, not as much certainty, and more something else. She eloquently takes us along her journey in prose while I wonder how I would have done in similar circumstances. And now, in the midst of Covid-19, I, you, we, and our society has much less certainty, and more something else, a mix of hope, fear, unknown, and dread. To me, she has given us a language to articulate our feelings, and those hopes and fears for our collective unknown future.
The parallels between the events and feelings in this book are similar if not identical to what is going on in life, society, and our personal selves during the Covid-19 pandemic. Janine describes her journey through life taking care of her son Mason, her family, and her life, juggling everything as her formerly secure life changes into something else. The title says it all: once she was certain about the trajectory and quality of her life. Now, not as much certainty, and more something else. She eloquently takes us along her journey in prose while I wonder how I would have done in similar circumstances. And now, in the midst of Covid-19, I, you, we, and our society has much less certainty, and more something else, a mix of hope, fear, unknown, and dread. To me, she has given us a language to articulate our feelings, and those hopes and fears for our collective unknown future.
December 31, 2020
The Opposite of Certainty is a compelling story about strength, faith, and perseverance. Life changed when Janine’s young son, Mason, got sick. Once Mason began experiencing severe migraines and tremors, Janine’s motherly intuition told her something was wrong. But, half the battle was getting a diagnosis. For two years, Mason’s condition worsened as doctors misdiagnosed him. Janine continued to push for answers, but the answer she finally received wasn’t an easy one.
After Mason’s diagnosis, Janine struggles to adjust to their new normal. With so much on her plate, she begins to neglect both herself and her marriage. But, that doesn’t stop Janine from trying to solve all her problems. However, Janine’s search for answers just left her with more questions.
Once reaching the point of mental and physical exhaustion, Janine finally decides to let go. She lets go of the need to control the uncontrollable. She lets go of perfection. And once she let go of the discomfort of the unknown, she found comfort in the known. There are few things in life that you know for certain, but faith, love, and a solid support system can strengthen and guide you through the uncertainty.
https://tabithoughts.com/book-review-...
After Mason’s diagnosis, Janine struggles to adjust to their new normal. With so much on her plate, she begins to neglect both herself and her marriage. But, that doesn’t stop Janine from trying to solve all her problems. However, Janine’s search for answers just left her with more questions.
Once reaching the point of mental and physical exhaustion, Janine finally decides to let go. She lets go of the need to control the uncontrollable. She lets go of perfection. And once she let go of the discomfort of the unknown, she found comfort in the known. There are few things in life that you know for certain, but faith, love, and a solid support system can strengthen and guide you through the uncertainty.
https://tabithoughts.com/book-review-...
May 18, 2020
The parallels between the events and feelings in this book are similar if not identical to what is going on in life, society, and our personal selves during the Covid-19 pandemic. Janine describes her journey through life taking care of her son Mason (with an inoperable brain tumor), her family, and her life, juggling everything as her formerly secure life changes into something else. The title says it all: once she was certain about the trajectory and quality of her life. Now, not as much certainty, and more something else. She eloquently takes us along her journey in prose while I wonder how I would have done in similar circumstances. And now, in the midst of Covid-19, I, you, we, and our society has much less certainty, and more something else, a mix of hope, fear, unknown, and dread. To me, she has given us a language to articulate our feelings, and those hopes and fears for our collective unknown future.
May 29, 2020
The whole time I was reading this book I just wanted to reach into the book and hug the author. This book takes you on an emotional roller coaster and captures your heart, squeezing it so tight at times I was holding my breath.
Janine becomes concerned when her son complains of headaches and a tremor in his hand cannot be ignored. Although she’s not convinced the doctor is right, she accepts the diagnosis of migraines and a need to lay off the sugary sweets.
Unfortunately they find out very quickly this doctor was very very mistaken, and so begins a families journey to save Mason.
I was so invested in the story that I read this whole book in one sitting. Having children who had medical issues growing up I really felt for Janine and what she went through as a mom. Anyone who has battled an illness themselves or with a family member will find the book to be very familiar, and at the very least, everyone will be humbled.
Janine becomes concerned when her son complains of headaches and a tremor in his hand cannot be ignored. Although she’s not convinced the doctor is right, she accepts the diagnosis of migraines and a need to lay off the sugary sweets.
Unfortunately they find out very quickly this doctor was very very mistaken, and so begins a families journey to save Mason.
I was so invested in the story that I read this whole book in one sitting. Having children who had medical issues growing up I really felt for Janine and what she went through as a mom. Anyone who has battled an illness themselves or with a family member will find the book to be very familiar, and at the very least, everyone will be humbled.
July 20, 2020
Excellent memoir of one mother's mission to save and serve her brain damaged child, her family and her marriage! The author sets a VERY HIGH BAR for expectations of herself, having grown up in a home of alcoholics, and this story tells of her struggle to live up to her goals. Fortunately, she has a loving family, a husband who works very hard and earns enough to provide what they want.
One passage sticks with me, and I quote, "I know better than ever that marriage, like cancer and child-rearing, is an endurance sport. The point of the contract is to hang on through the thin, brittle places when it's commitment, not passion or even friendship, that carries the relationship from one day to the next." I've copies this passage for myself too, and am placing it here over the computer screen, so I can see it often and be reminded! Thank you Mrs. Reid!
One passage sticks with me, and I quote, "I know better than ever that marriage, like cancer and child-rearing, is an endurance sport. The point of the contract is to hang on through the thin, brittle places when it's commitment, not passion or even friendship, that carries the relationship from one day to the next." I've copies this passage for myself too, and am placing it here over the computer screen, so I can see it often and be reminded! Thank you Mrs. Reid!
July 4, 2020
Really good book not just about a mother’s challenge with her son’s health problems, but her struggle to understand her own need to relentlessly control everything.
“I know less about God than I did before. But I believe more. It might have something to do with emptying out what I knew for certain, those boxes I tried to fit around Infinite Power to accommodate my finite human mind. I don’t think God gave Mason a tumor or me breast cancer to teach us a lesson, though we’ve learned plenty. Same goes for alcoholism and knotty relationships.”
Excerpt From
The Opposite of Certainty
Janine Urbaniak Reid
https://books.apple.com/us/book/the-o...
This material may be protected by copyright.
“I know less about God than I did before. But I believe more. It might have something to do with emptying out what I knew for certain, those boxes I tried to fit around Infinite Power to accommodate my finite human mind. I don’t think God gave Mason a tumor or me breast cancer to teach us a lesson, though we’ve learned plenty. Same goes for alcoholism and knotty relationships.”
Excerpt From
The Opposite of Certainty
Janine Urbaniak Reid
https://books.apple.com/us/book/the-o...
This material may be protected by copyright.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 24, 2020
Not quite what I expected. Maybe not being a mother, recovering alchoholic, or a Christian, I could not relate that well with much of what she writes. This is a very detailed journal-like autobiography covering the time her son was treated for a brain tumor. She must have kept copious notes to be able to write so many details, which I find odd as it was clearly a very emotional time for her.
I also felt that she was clearly financially privileged to undertake some of the alternative health care treatments she mentions. Maybe its because I live in the same county as her in CA and see this all around me.
I also felt that she was clearly financially privileged to undertake some of the alternative health care treatments she mentions. Maybe its because I live in the same county as her in CA and see this all around me.
November 6, 2023
Janine Urbaniak Reid offers an intimate look inside life during a time of struggle and uncertainty, taking great care to hold the reader in a place of comfort and safety. She walks the reader through every mother's nightmare -- her child's cancer diagnosis and treatment -- and holds a guiding light along the path, always looking forward. She generously includes the nuanced demands of this moment on her marriage and family, touching on every person's struggle with life's complications. I emerged from this story with gratitude and hope that life's uncertainties can be experienced with grace and courage.
September 2, 2020
After a brush with alcohol abuse in her teens and early twenties, the author set upon building a life of certainty. She had everything under control until her youngest son’s brain tumor. Giving full attention to her son’s survival, her health, marriage, and two other children suffered. With time, she learned to trust God and live in the present, one day at a time, as recovering alcoholics and recovering control freaks like me must learn.
March 1, 2021
Marked as read, but not finished. I felt I was just reading someone's diary...someone going through an extremely difficult time, but not compelling enough (or unique enough) to hold my attention. The lesson is one many of us have already learned at some point in our lives when faced with a terrifying uncertainty. After finishing a third of the book, I flipped ahead to peruse several more random pages, but the tone was the same.
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