i can’t believe the first gay novel in singapore was written by a 20 year old boy because what excuse do i have now??
it is kind of laughable how much this story still connects with my experience over 30 years later—raffles feels like raffles, a clerk job in the army feels exactly like that, albeit with less gay tension everywhere (although: there really is still so much gay tension). middle-class chinese elite school gay boys who went on to study law just dominated arts & cultural production (and in many ways, still do).
there’s so much you could read into, the way this book constructs a fantasy of the straight-passing, respectable, monogamous and educated chinese gay man, versus the working class dirty, overly sexual “other samuel”, the cruising clubgoing nightlife culture, the scores of repressed pedophiles who somehow figure into three character backstories. in trying to write his way out of gay shame, chris maybe inordinately gives into it, complete with a really puzzling AIDS-but-it-wasn’t-gay-sex plotline.
but, despite it all, i felt warmed by this book, its desire to try and grapple with a sense of queer unlivability and death, to insist upon a constant, renewed sense of living, and how it grants compassion to its various characters, as thinly as they often are written. i am glad for this, and how odd it feels to think of a history that begins in the 1990s, that still feels current and present today, a history that is about a life without a sense of beginning or end, just continual rewriting—a history of unsettledness, a peculiar and yet familiar history.