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These Guns for Hire

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They have a combined total of 500 million book sales, and have won every possible award in the mystery, thriller, and dark fiction genres.

Thirty original hitman stories by today's modern masters. Noir. Wise guys. Sex. Freelance assassins. Humor. Violence. Femme fatales. Amateurs. Horror. Surprise twists. Hardboiled.

Get ready for some wet work!

492 pages, Hardcover

First published October 31, 2006

3 people are currently reading
180 people want to read

About the author

J.A. Konrath

198 books3,016 followers
Joe Konrath has written over twenty novels in the Lt. Jacqueline "Jack" Daniels thriller series. They do not have to be read chronologically to be enjoyed, but the order is: Whiskey Sour, Bloody Mary, Rusty Nail, Dirty Martini, Shot of Tequila, Fuzzy Navel, Cherry Bomb, Dead On My Feet, Serial Killers Uncut (with Blake Crouch), Shaken, Stirred (with Blake Crouch), Dying Breath, Everybody Dies, Rum Runner, Last Call, White Russian, Shot Girl, Chaser, Old Fashioned, Bite Force, and Witch Brew. More coming soon.

Wow, that's a lot of Jack.

If you like your thrillers on the dark side, check out the Konrath Dark Thriller Collective, which includes the books The List, Origin, Afraid, Trapped, Endurance, Haunted House, Webcam, Disturb, What Happened To Lori, The Nine, Second Coming, and Close Your Eyes.

Joe also wrote the Stop A Murder mystery puzzle series, where you become the sleuth and solve brain teasers to try and catch a killer.

He also wrote the sci-fi trilogy, Timecaster, Timecaster Supersymmetry, and Timecaster Steampunk. Even if you don't think you like sci-fi, give them a try. They feature Joe's well-known characters from his other series, and are insane.

With Ann Voss Peterson he wrote the Codename: Chandler thrillers, including Flee, Spree, Three, Hit, Exposed, Naughty, Fix (with F. Paul Wilson), Rescue, and Free.

And, finally, he writes erotica under the pen name Melinda DuChamp, also with Ann Voss Peterson. Those books are probably too spicy for you, so only the brave and bold should seek them out.

Joe writes a lot. You should probably read everything.

You can visit Joe and sign up for his newsletter at www.JAKonrath.com/mailing-list.php

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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
Profile Image for Eric_W.
1,957 reviews431 followers
May 23, 2010
As with all collections, these stories vary in interest and quality. Still, most are quite good. My favorite hitman story is in the form of a FBI transcript who have bugged two mobsters who are having dinner in a restaurant. One is regaling the other with his latest assignment. He had been asked to take out a lemur. Apparently, the animal belonged to the squeeze of one of their friends and the guy would come home to his wife covered with lemur hair and his wife wanted to know where he was hanging out and was getting suspicious. Seems simple enough. But he can't shoot the lemur; "he's got these eyes, sorta like your grandma..." So he figures he'll entice the lemur out of the cage with some crackers and then haul him off somewhere. Well things go from bad to worse when the lemur escapes out the window, bops the guy over the head with a toilet brush, fakes his death and casues the hitman to be pulled over for drunk driving. He passes the sobriety test with flying colors only to discover the lemur has locked all the car doors. Etc. Very amusing story.

The collection also includes another Keller story, very baseball oriented,for those who love Lawrence Black as I do. I thought I had read all the Keller stories, but must have missed (or forgotten - God forbid) this one. Another favorite was by Jeff Strand (who usually write horror, not a genre I find much time for) which is a comedic conversation between the target of an assassination and the assassin, an ex-Wal-Mart employee who agreed to do the hit for $50. It's wonderful, including the grape juice on the carpet.

As to why hitmen stories are popular? One author I think said it best in the introduction to his story. They represent an inversion of the traditional mystery and we find ourselves drawn to the competent person who manages to outwit the opposition.
Profile Image for Georgiann Hennelly.
1,960 reviews26 followers
August 17, 2009
these guns for hire was an excellant book .something for everyone .its a book of short storys by different authors something for everyone. i would diffently recommend this book to anyone who likes crime novels
Profile Image for Marianne Stehr.
1,230 reviews7 followers
June 25, 2010
Not a fan of short stories, the only reason I picked it up is because I am a fan of J.A. Konrath's writing. THe stories were ok, some much, much better than others, but all in all an ok book that took me too long to read because I just couldn't get into it.
6 reviews
January 1, 2009
I read as much as I can in this visually stunning and contrasting picture book!
Profile Image for Jason Waltz.
Author 41 books73 followers
August 24, 2019
Took me more than 5 years to read this, and I'm only finishing it now cuz I'm trying to shorten my 'currently reading' list. One memorable story, a handful of so-so/okay, and a load of BS. One of the least entertaining anthologies I have ever read.
Profile Image for Boxhuman .
157 reviews11 followers
July 18, 2009
“The Guns for Hire” is a collection of hitman short stories. As a whole, many themes became repetitive - the hit is a foul-mouthed, wife beating jerk that “gets what's comin’ to ‘im”. Usually the hitmen were retired or well-versed in their craft. Disappointingly, the reasons and journey to becoming a hitman was usually glossed over and briefly mentioned. That would have been a fantastic, defining aspect, but no one really wrote about that. Also, I would have liked to have seen more female writers. However, those are my only gripes. Most of the writers were very entertaining and it was interesting to see what so many came up with for the theme, “hitman”.

Here are some of the ones I liked/hated/wrote notes for:
I liked “They Always Get You” by Victor Gischler
-“Another Rock n Roll Hit” wasn’t that great and read more like a fanfic than original.
-“There’s Somebody Here That Wants to Talk With You” was part horror, part vengeance, but mostly lame.
-“The Professional” by Sean Doolittle was fantastic!
-“Guest Services” by Max Allan was fun.
-“Gutter Snipes” was pretty bland, especially the sign “telling” him what to do was irritating.
-“Beauty” by Ed Gorman was good. O.K. story, but a fun hitman – I like his style.
-“The Black Rose” was a campy West-meets-East, but very refreshing seeing through a different view: at the wrong end of revenge.
-“Detour” was horrible. So bad, I actually took notes. It was very disjointed and pushed itself too hard to look cool. “He was in a blue Buick. Who drives a Buick anymore?” “He said he knew her husband first, and had promised Grayson- what kind of name if Grayson?” When your own character is questioning your story…that’s not good. And the nausea factor raised when she called her boss, Johnny D (rolls eyes) and introduced him, “Johnny D was my boss. And my man. It didn’t matter he was twenty years older than me. Or that he’d been one of Pop’s buddies. His partner, as a matter of fact. Johnny D taught me a lot about my job. And after Pop died, he taught me other things. A shiver of pleasure ran up my spine.” Uhg, no…just no.
-“The Attitude Adjuster” had an interesting premise, but was boring in the end.
-“When You’re Right, You’re Right” by Brian M. Wiprud rocked my world. Hitman vs. Lemur!
-“Bereaved” by J.A. Konrath was very hip, although the villain (i.e. the man buying the hit) followed the cliché seen in others, being a foul-mouthed, wife-beating jerk.
-“Not Shy, Not Retiring” was fun, sexy, and very unique as the hitwoman was in her 50’s. It wasn’t silly at all, and was actually sincere and interesting. Good way to break a stereotype.
-“Bat-Head Speed” was hard to read, not from the accent, but from the rapid tangents.
-“Keller’s Designated Hitter” by Lawrence Block was very good. I really liked Keller and had a bond with him. He wasn’t typical. He wasn’t smooth. A little socially awkward, and a stamp collector, but damn good at his job.
-“Nice Kids Carry Guns” by Paul A Toth. Yes! I loved his effeminate, lispy hitman, Chet. I loved the play between characters on 386 by calling Chet “mom” and Harley (his partner) “dad”. I love that! (Just like in Ouran) Sometimes the writing didn’t flow naturally (and some things were too forced like the gods theme: Uranus, Mercury, etc.), but it was still great.
-Loved, loved, *loved* “Poor Career Choice”! The beginning was amazing – what a way to grab a reader! Plus, it had me laughing out loud – the “slice of bitch” play is one of the funniest things I’ve read because I was thinking that, too. “ ‘Slice of bitch?’ What?” and then the protagonist mirrored my reaction. I’m used to things like that getting away, but the protagonist didn’t let it. He had the same reaction and it surprised me. I love being surprised!
- “Bloodshed Fred” was an interesting twist.
And I forget the very last story, but I really liked that one, too. The hitman really knew how to play someone and it seemed realistic.

Bottomline: A lot of fun. Not a hard read. I will look into some of the authors.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Michael Smith.
1,933 reviews66 followers
August 8, 2018
Noir crime fiction has made a comeback in recent years, including a flood of stories featuring assassins and killers-for-hire. Hitmen are interesting subjects for fiction because, if they’re successful at what they do, they’re cool, professional, and in control. Probably they’re amoral -- or, at least, not troubled psychologically by what they see as their jobs. One of the best-known of this recent crop of killers is Lawrence Block’s Keller, and he’s represented here in “Keller’s Designated Hitter,” one of the four stories that was not written expressly for this fat anthology. Other popular authors who contributed include Victor Gischler, Max Allan Collins, Ed Gorman, and David Morell. All the others are new to me, and several among them are worth checking out in future. I can’t summarize this many stories, except to say that they run the gamut from thoughtful and philosophical to tongue-in-cheek to “gotcha” stories with trick endings. The average quality of the writing is a little above average, which is fair enough, and since they run around fifteen pages each, you can easily dip in as the mood takes you. There are a few which stray rather too far from the rubric. (A killing carried out in a panic because of circumstances and without forethought isn’t a “hit.”) Neither is a terrorist with a bomb-vest a “hitman,” since it’ll be a very short career and he probably wasn’t paid. But most of the stories hew closely to what one expects from a collection with this title and the variety of approaches is enlightening.
Profile Image for Veronica Marie Lewis-Shaw.
116 reviews9 followers
September 16, 2011
Finished this a couple of weeks ago... an AWESOME read! Out of the 31 stories, there were only two I didn't really care for, but please don't take that as a criticism of the stories... they just weren't for me. If I don't like a story or feel it was somehow deficient, I will tell you why. I am very glad I ponied up the $$ for this anthology... a great collection of writers and some really amazing stories. I'm not going to say that they gave me any ideas... that would be self-incrimination, wouldn't it... I mean, if I were somehow to become a suspect in the untimely demise of a certain individual... right? LOL!! I thoroughly enjoyed this collection of shorts and it has inspired me to try my hand at a hitman tale; something I have thought about before, but just never got the steam up...

A great read... heartily recommend to all!
Profile Image for Jim A.
1,267 reviews82 followers
January 10, 2012
I love short story anthologies. It allows me to find new authors without the expense of buying individual books. "These Guns For Hire" was no exception. There were some familiar authors here, Morrell, Block, Konrath, as well as many I had never read.

Many of the stories ended with a great twist. From the nun tending her rose plantings to Block's Keller following a major league ballplayer around the country, holding off on the killing until the ballplayer reached two milestones.
Profile Image for Jenn.
1,647 reviews33 followers
July 1, 2008
I have two copies of this...one that was signed by J A Konrath and has a few stories in it, and the second signed by a whack load of authors in hardcover that will never leave my sight!

The stories are real, intense and a whole lot of fun. two thumbs up all the way!
Profile Image for Richard.
162 reviews4 followers
February 7, 2011
This was an excellent read. I checked it out back in 8th grade but was unable to finish it. And over the years I forgot the title until now. If you like hitman and a big crime fiction fan this should be on your shelf.
172 reviews10 followers
December 14, 2013
Just a fun batch of short stories about contract killers. One of them involves icing a pet lemur, in another the mark tries to talk the killer out of fulfilling the job. Wish I could write something like this; then I wouldn't think I could pull off such a job.
153 reviews
October 20, 2008
A collection of some very clever short stories from a lot of very talented mystery writers. A good read.
796 reviews8 followers
June 14, 2011
Good mix of stories.

Hard to pick a favorite because there are several candidates.
Profile Image for Dan.
12 reviews
August 6, 2016
Like most compilations by multiple authors, some were really good, some not.
167 reviews
February 8, 2016
Some of the stories are great!! And others are not that great.. J A Konrath's (<--big fan of his) story hits it out of the park!!
Profile Image for Mike Wigal.
485 reviews8 followers
May 28, 2016
Fun read. Being all fiction I seriously doubt real hit men work like these stories.
53 reviews1 follower
Want to read
January 13, 2009
Poss Chicago. From Big Sleep.
Profile Image for Ben.
564 reviews10 followers
April 1, 2011
A lot of good short stories.
685 reviews3 followers
February 3, 2016
Best line, from a story by Jeff Abbott- "Have fun living off the mold in your fridge."
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews

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