What do you think?
Rate this book
Cool Sex: An Essential Young Adult Guide to Loving, Mindful Sex
'By far the most accessible and practical book on love and sex that I've ever read. As I was reading it, I felt myself changing positively, without even doing anything! Having already experienced the incredible power of mindfulness in so many other ways, I need no convincing that by applying the recommendations here, you'll witness your relationship with sex transform bringing greater pleasure, loving kindness and intimacy.' Darren Cockburn, Mindfulness expert, author of the internationally acclaimed Being Present (nominated for UK's Kindred Spirit's 2019 Emerging Voices) Sex is hot isn't it? Do you notice how sexually suggestive erotic images greet you at every corner? These 'steamy' images give a one-sided, unbalanced view of sex. For deeply satisfying sex the real secret is to reduce the heat, to cool down, and to be relaxed and mindful. Nature designed bodies for easy going loving sexual play that lasts for hours. Using the ancient eastern understandings of Tantra and body magnetism, higher experiences and blissful states are available. Cool Sex by Wendy Doeleman and Diana Richardson provides explanations, practical tips and easy to follow exercises. Discover the empowerment and fulfilment of sex with loving mindfulness.
128 pages, Paperback
Published December 1, 2020
3 people are currently reading
30 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
October 6, 2020
*I received this book via NetGalley in exchange of an honest opinion.*
I found this book very informative. It proposes cool sex, a type of sex in which orgasm isn’t the main focus, but rather a deep connection with your body. It had a lot of interesting point I hadn’t thought about before. The book has several exercises that promote relaxation, and it also touches topics like sexual health and higiene, body positivity, empowerment, and more. It also works wether you’re a boy, girl, straight, gay, bi, or anything else in between. If you’re interested in different, less stereotypical ways to view sex, I’d definitely encourage you to pick up this book.
I found this book very informative. It proposes cool sex, a type of sex in which orgasm isn’t the main focus, but rather a deep connection with your body. It had a lot of interesting point I hadn’t thought about before. The book has several exercises that promote relaxation, and it also touches topics like sexual health and higiene, body positivity, empowerment, and more. It also works wether you’re a boy, girl, straight, gay, bi, or anything else in between. If you’re interested in different, less stereotypical ways to view sex, I’d definitely encourage you to pick up this book.
February 9, 2022
While the book has some valuable information it also comes with so many straight up wrong statements and “facts”. It’s also irritatingly moralizing, if nothing else the labeling of “cool sex” as cool in “being cool/hip” and cool as opposite of hot, and hot sex is bad. Hot sex is according to the authors intense and over quickly and not fulfilling on a real level. Hot sexy is goal focused with aim on orgasm and cool sex is connection focused. Blah! Of course hot sex can be with connection.
This book is a marketing distilled packaged version of Diana Richardson’s Tantric Sex and that book too was not worth the time. There are so many better books on tantric sex, like Urban Tantra by Barbara Carellas, and there’s nothing cool about “Cool Sex’s” trying too hard to reach young adults. It just tries too hard and trying too hard rarely makes good fulfilling sex.
This book is a marketing distilled packaged version of Diana Richardson’s Tantric Sex and that book too was not worth the time. There are so many better books on tantric sex, like Urban Tantra by Barbara Carellas, and there’s nothing cool about “Cool Sex’s” trying too hard to reach young adults. It just tries too hard and trying too hard rarely makes good fulfilling sex.
October 20, 2020
Thank you to the publishers and netgalley for providing me this ARC to review.
Unfortunately I didn't like this book. While I totally agree with the sentiment behind it I found the language used quite patronising. It says that it is aimed at 15 to 25 year old but the tone to me read much younger.
I was also really put off by the kind of disclaimer early on that said something about while this book was focusing on more heterosexual relationships (because we obviously don't have enough books on that already?) everyone has masculine and feminine energy so the advice could suit any relationship??
This to me read like at the end of the book the authors realised they would get criticism for only focusing on heterosexual relationships and tried to gloss over the fact, but I'm not buying it.
Unfortunately I didn't like this book. While I totally agree with the sentiment behind it I found the language used quite patronising. It says that it is aimed at 15 to 25 year old but the tone to me read much younger.
I was also really put off by the kind of disclaimer early on that said something about while this book was focusing on more heterosexual relationships (because we obviously don't have enough books on that already?) everyone has masculine and feminine energy so the advice could suit any relationship??
This to me read like at the end of the book the authors realised they would get criticism for only focusing on heterosexual relationships and tried to gloss over the fact, but I'm not buying it.
August 3, 2020
I received an eARC from NetGalley in exchange for my honest review, which can be found here: https://www.netgalley.com/book/197552...
I didn't like this book, simple as that.
I didn't like this book, simple as that.
August 17, 2020
Intended mainly for young adults, this guide may actually be helpful to almost anyone who is looking for a deeper, mire i timage and mindful connection.
'Cool' sex does not necessarily mean more current or trendy forms of lovenaking, but is meant as an adjective to be distinguished from so-called 'hot' sex, which may be exciting in its own way, but still leave a certain amount of dissatisfaction afterwards, and here the sciencecis in the hormones:. the fast and furious 'wham, bam' kind is, according to this book, more fuelled by dopamine, bringing cheap highs that burn out more quickly. There are other hormones in play that do not, and it is these that the writers suggest will come into play for a more deeply enjoyable kind of sex.
As might already be guessed, this book is really sexing up an old idea for a new generation: that of the ancient practise of tantra - or neo tantra (some of the old yogas may be undesirable in the context here). The aim is to focus a little less on the destination or goal (the orgasm) and more on the journey (mindful, mutual pleasuring). The reader will just have to try some of the techniques described here to see if they really can deepen the experience of love.
Describing different types of orgasms according to which organ is stimulated most seemed a little less helpful - my understanding for example is that differentiating between clitoral and vaginal orgasms was just a psychoanalytical myth, though I have had of the g-spot. The idea that there might be an even more mystical spot further up was quite some news, though the idea of tantra always was that retaining vital energies can and do find their way up the main chakras. This book steers away from pursuing this path too strenuously - the aims here are simply, more to do with making recommendations for a more profound quality to enjoying sex and intimacy.
'Cool' sex does not necessarily mean more current or trendy forms of lovenaking, but is meant as an adjective to be distinguished from so-called 'hot' sex, which may be exciting in its own way, but still leave a certain amount of dissatisfaction afterwards, and here the sciencecis in the hormones:. the fast and furious 'wham, bam' kind is, according to this book, more fuelled by dopamine, bringing cheap highs that burn out more quickly. There are other hormones in play that do not, and it is these that the writers suggest will come into play for a more deeply enjoyable kind of sex.
As might already be guessed, this book is really sexing up an old idea for a new generation: that of the ancient practise of tantra - or neo tantra (some of the old yogas may be undesirable in the context here). The aim is to focus a little less on the destination or goal (the orgasm) and more on the journey (mindful, mutual pleasuring). The reader will just have to try some of the techniques described here to see if they really can deepen the experience of love.
Describing different types of orgasms according to which organ is stimulated most seemed a little less helpful - my understanding for example is that differentiating between clitoral and vaginal orgasms was just a psychoanalytical myth, though I have had of the g-spot. The idea that there might be an even more mystical spot further up was quite some news, though the idea of tantra always was that retaining vital energies can and do find their way up the main chakras. This book steers away from pursuing this path too strenuously - the aims here are simply, more to do with making recommendations for a more profound quality to enjoying sex and intimacy.
October 15, 2024
Cool Sex: An Essential Young Adult Guide to Loving, Mindful Sex by Diana Richardson and Wendy Doeleman
First and foremost, I want to state that I am not an author. I have no idea what it takes to write a book. I am a consumer with an OPINION, and only an opinion, based on my life experiences. Furthermore, this is mostly written for... myself!
Oh boy, where do I even begin with this one? I had high hopes for a book promising to be an "essential guide" for young adults, but those hopes were quickly dashed. Within the first 10% of the book, I found myself drowning in a sea of pseudoscientific nonsense and metaphysical mumbo-jumbo about bodily energies.
The authors seem to have a tenuous grasp on actual biology and human sexuality, instead opting to fill pages with unsubstantiated claims and new-age concepts that have no basis in scientific fact. It's as if they threw darts at a board of buzzwords and decided to string them together into chapters. I'm all for exploring different perspectives on intimacy and relationships, but when a book marketed as educational material for young adults veers so far from established scientific understanding, it becomes irresponsible and potentially harmful. Needless to say, I couldn't bring myself to finish this book. Life's too short to wade through 128 pages of misinformation masquerading as wisdom.
Rating: 1/5 stars This book earns the lowest rating on my scale for being poorly written and factually incorrect. It's a shame, really. Young adults deserve better resources when it comes to understanding sex and relationships.
Rating Scale:
5 stars - Exceptional, life-changing
4 stars - Highly enjoyable, likely to reread, would recommend
3 stars - Decent read, might not remember long-term
2 stars - Not for me, struggled to finish
1 star - Poorly written or factually incorrect
First and foremost, I want to state that I am not an author. I have no idea what it takes to write a book. I am a consumer with an OPINION, and only an opinion, based on my life experiences. Furthermore, this is mostly written for... myself!
Oh boy, where do I even begin with this one? I had high hopes for a book promising to be an "essential guide" for young adults, but those hopes were quickly dashed. Within the first 10% of the book, I found myself drowning in a sea of pseudoscientific nonsense and metaphysical mumbo-jumbo about bodily energies.
The authors seem to have a tenuous grasp on actual biology and human sexuality, instead opting to fill pages with unsubstantiated claims and new-age concepts that have no basis in scientific fact. It's as if they threw darts at a board of buzzwords and decided to string them together into chapters. I'm all for exploring different perspectives on intimacy and relationships, but when a book marketed as educational material for young adults veers so far from established scientific understanding, it becomes irresponsible and potentially harmful. Needless to say, I couldn't bring myself to finish this book. Life's too short to wade through 128 pages of misinformation masquerading as wisdom.
Rating: 1/5 stars This book earns the lowest rating on my scale for being poorly written and factually incorrect. It's a shame, really. Young adults deserve better resources when it comes to understanding sex and relationships.
Rating Scale:
5 stars - Exceptional, life-changing
4 stars - Highly enjoyable, likely to reread, would recommend
3 stars - Decent read, might not remember long-term
2 stars - Not for me, struggled to finish
1 star - Poorly written or factually incorrect
December 13, 2024
This was a great reminder why I dislike self-help books and why, even when I need a really short book to meet my challenge, I should not partake.
1. This is not a novel idea. This is tantric sex, in another name. I hate the flagrant attempt to act as if this is some new idea.
2. I'm not mature enough for this. The author refused to use normal naming conventions so I spent 1.5 hours listening to her talk about TONGUE KISSING. It was so awks. Why kissing had to be defined into kissing with TONUE and NO TONGUE I wasn't sure but nothing in this book was actually science-based so it feels like saying french kissing (a non-scientific term) was probably ok. On the other hand, I could not stop cackling when the author, so astutely, deemed the penis the "male's energy rising pole" because come on, that's hysterical.
3.. The narrator's way of saying condom has forever scarred me. Condum, not condOm.
The things one does to meet a book challenge ....
1. This is not a novel idea. This is tantric sex, in another name. I hate the flagrant attempt to act as if this is some new idea.
2. I'm not mature enough for this. The author refused to use normal naming conventions so I spent 1.5 hours listening to her talk about TONGUE KISSING. It was so awks. Why kissing had to be defined into kissing with TONUE and NO TONGUE I wasn't sure but nothing in this book was actually science-based so it feels like saying french kissing (a non-scientific term) was probably ok. On the other hand, I could not stop cackling when the author, so astutely, deemed the penis the "male's energy rising pole" because come on, that's hysterical.
3.. The narrator's way of saying condom has forever scarred me. Condum, not condOm.
The things one does to meet a book challenge ....
October 6, 2020
I received an e-arc of this from netgqlley to read for an honest review. All thoughts and opinions are my own honest thoughts.
This was an interesting read.
I find the idea of cool sex to be something that everyone should at least know about, not everything is about the hot and heavy heart pounding type but the emotional and physical of sex. This book portrayed that well, though some of the paragraphs did give me a giggle. I think it brought the topic of sex and some things associated with sex to the forefront of young people's mind but the execution could go right over there heads.
An engaging book that anyone whose interested in exploring some more connectable way of getting intimate.
This was an interesting read.
I find the idea of cool sex to be something that everyone should at least know about, not everything is about the hot and heavy heart pounding type but the emotional and physical of sex. This book portrayed that well, though some of the paragraphs did give me a giggle. I think it brought the topic of sex and some things associated with sex to the forefront of young people's mind but the execution could go right over there heads.
An engaging book that anyone whose interested in exploring some more connectable way of getting intimate.
October 7, 2020
As someone who is relatively inexperienced when it comes to sex, I've tried to read a lot of guides on the subject hoping to learn more and expand my horizons.
Cool Sex has a unique premise compared to other guides I've read which intrigued me from the beginning. The main ideas behind it are relaxation, awareness and creating a connection.
I liked how accessible the book was, with clear subheadings and heading to guide my reading as I explored the concepts. The definitions for key terms were well researched and explained.
I was left with a good understanding of the idea of Cool Sex and more importantly achievable practical ideas to put into practice.
Cool Sex has a unique premise compared to other guides I've read which intrigued me from the beginning. The main ideas behind it are relaxation, awareness and creating a connection.
I liked how accessible the book was, with clear subheadings and heading to guide my reading as I explored the concepts. The definitions for key terms were well researched and explained.
I was left with a good understanding of the idea of Cool Sex and more importantly achievable practical ideas to put into practice.
February 22, 2021
A very informative book, Cool Sex brings a new kind of intimacy to your relationship, full of spirituality and emotions and most importantly relaxation. Whether you're addicted to sex or sometimes it turns painful, or even just looking for new things to experiment with, this book is full of ideas to not only get yourself to relax, but also your partner to relax, whoever they might be, without actually getting down to it.
Check out my full review here!
https://radioactivebookreviews.wordpr...
Check out my full review here!
https://radioactivebookreviews.wordpr...
July 20, 2020
This book is not necessarily geared toward the ages of 15-25, those older than 25 can benefit as well. The first 100 pages are so may turn the LGBTQ community away. The book is geared towards male and female sexual intercourse. The LGBTQ community is mentioned briefly.
The tips and tricks are solely for tantric sex. This book can be used in tandem with sexual education courses. To avoid STDs and STIs please utilize condoms, research the proper way to put them on. One can learn a number of tantric techniques, deep breathing and building intimacy.
The tips and tricks are solely for tantric sex. This book can be used in tandem with sexual education courses. To avoid STDs and STIs please utilize condoms, research the proper way to put them on. One can learn a number of tantric techniques, deep breathing and building intimacy.
September 20, 2020
This book had some interesting insight into an alternative way to connect with your partner beyond just the physical, to include emotional and a heartfelt connection. It gave me some things to think about and consider, not sure if I will put into practice some of the suggestions or not. But I enjoyed the mindfulness breathing techniques and might put some of those exercises into practice just for general health and well being. Thank you netgalley for making this book available to me and allowing me to try something a little different.
July 19, 2020
I received this book in exchange for an honest review.
I really loved the idea of the book. I really admired the author for writing a book meant to educate young adult on sex education. It was a really educating read for me. The only thing I didn’t really like about the book was how it was written. As a young adult I couldn’t really connect with the writing. But overall it was an okay approach to informing teenagers about sex.
I really loved the idea of the book. I really admired the author for writing a book meant to educate young adult on sex education. It was a really educating read for me. The only thing I didn’t really like about the book was how it was written. As a young adult I couldn’t really connect with the writing. But overall it was an okay approach to informing teenagers about sex.
August 14, 2020
Thank you NetGalley for providing me an eARC of this book.
A book like this, being published in 2020, should be WAY more diverse. This book’s focus is on male/female sex and barely touches on LGBTQ+ and really leaves out a lot. How can you use this book as a tool to educate when a good portion of the population is left out? Yes, the LGBTQ+ community is mentioned but that’s about it. I’m quite disappointed by this book.
A book like this, being published in 2020, should be WAY more diverse. This book’s focus is on male/female sex and barely touches on LGBTQ+ and really leaves out a lot. How can you use this book as a tool to educate when a good portion of the population is left out? Yes, the LGBTQ+ community is mentioned but that’s about it. I’m quite disappointed by this book.
December 17, 2020
A well written book that gives interesting perspectives of sex and how it does not have to be all about the orgasm. The book is really geared towards a younger audience who is more new to sexual relationships. However, I felt elements of the book to any person looking at other perspectives. I didn't agree with everything in the book, but I thought it was educational and worth trying some of the suggestions. If you are looking to broaden your mind and techniques of sex it is worth a read.
December 17, 2020
Thank you Netgalley for this ARC. ⠀
⠀
While I like the intention and idea of the book, I could not connect with the writing at all. It felt like it was written for a much younger audience, even though I fall in the marketed target audience. Sadly, this went to the #DNF pile. ⠀
⠀
While I like the intention and idea of the book, I could not connect with the writing at all. It felt like it was written for a much younger audience, even though I fall in the marketed target audience. Sadly, this went to the #DNF pile. ⠀
July 25, 2022
Good read
May 15, 2023
It was ok I have read better books about sex not the best one
May 18, 2023
I felt it was a good take on ways to be intimate with someone and loved it because it was different from everything you hear everyone talk about! 4 ✨
October 23, 2020
Way too scientific and gendered. Doesn't include Transgender people enough. Didnt include LGBT+ people enough. Says nothing about gay sex.
November 2, 2020
Phew! It wasn't just me who found Cool Sex by Diana Richardson and Wendy Doeleman. It did give you some insight on love making however, missed so much out within this area! This book was a waste of time and there are many other books out there that are better and covers all areas of cool sex and with both genders!
Thank you to the publishers and netgalley for providing me this ARC to review.
Thank you to the publishers and netgalley for providing me this ARC to review.
July 13, 2021
DNF
I was really sad to not like this. I thought it would be exactly the book about sex that I always wanted. The one that would've helped younger me with edicating herself om the subject and becokong less self conscious about sex, discussing it, having it, etc.
However, I didn't mesh with the writing and it felt like it was trying to hard to be relatable? Which may be what teens these days need, but I would have much preferred something a little more clinical. Something that gave you an overview on the subject, taught you about it properly and addressed the insecurities individuals can have about it.
As stated, I didn't finish it. So it might well discussed those things. But the writing just wasn't for me.
I was really sad to not like this. I thought it would be exactly the book about sex that I always wanted. The one that would've helped younger me with edicating herself om the subject and becokong less self conscious about sex, discussing it, having it, etc.
However, I didn't mesh with the writing and it felt like it was trying to hard to be relatable? Which may be what teens these days need, but I would have much preferred something a little more clinical. Something that gave you an overview on the subject, taught you about it properly and addressed the insecurities individuals can have about it.
As stated, I didn't finish it. So it might well discussed those things. But the writing just wasn't for me.
December 7, 2020
3.5
Entretenido, curioso, interesante, y atrapante. Se lee en muy poco tiempo por el estilo de redacción, pero siento que podría haber profundizado más, y aunque intentó ser inclusivo con otras orientaciones sexuales y el tema trans, fue muy superficial, apenas algunas menciones. Puede darle ideas a personas que no sean heterosexuales, pero es un libro principalmente enfocado a ese público.
Entertaining, curious, interesting, and engaging. It reads in a very short time because of the writing style, but I feel like I could have gone deeper, and although it tried to be inclusive with other sexual orientations and the trans issue, it was very superficial, just a few mentions. You can give ideas to people who are not heterosexual, but it is a book mainly focused on that audience.
Entretenido, curioso, interesante, y atrapante. Se lee en muy poco tiempo por el estilo de redacción, pero siento que podría haber profundizado más, y aunque intentó ser inclusivo con otras orientaciones sexuales y el tema trans, fue muy superficial, apenas algunas menciones. Puede darle ideas a personas que no sean heterosexuales, pero es un libro principalmente enfocado a ese público.
Entertaining, curious, interesting, and engaging. It reads in a very short time because of the writing style, but I feel like I could have gone deeper, and although it tried to be inclusive with other sexual orientations and the trans issue, it was very superficial, just a few mentions. You can give ideas to people who are not heterosexual, but it is a book mainly focused on that audience.
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews