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Nobody Knows the Trouble I've Seen: Exploring The Emotional Lives of Black Women
Black women are beautiful, intelligent and capable —but mostly they embrace strong. Esteemed clinical psychologist, Dr. Inger Burnett-Zeigler, praises the strength of women, while exploring how trauma and adversity have led to deep emotional pain and shaped how they walk through the world.
Black women’s strength is intimately tied to their unacknowledged suffering. An estimated eight in ten have endured some form of trauma—sexual abuse, domestic abuse, poverty, childhood abandonment, victim/witness to violence, and regular confrontation with racism and sexism. Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen shows that trauma often impacts mental and physical well-being. It can contribute to stress, anxiety, PTSD, and depression. Unaddressed it can lead to hypertension, diabetes, heart disease, overeating, and alcohol and drug abuse, and other chronic health issues.
Dr. Burnett-Zeigler explains that the strong Black woman image does not take into account the urgency of Black women’s needs, which must be identified in order to lead abundant lives. It interferes with her relationships and ability to function day to day. Through mindfulness and compassionate self-care, the psychologist offers methods for establishing authentic strength from the inside out.
This informative guide to healing, is life-changing, showing Black women how to prioritize the self and find everyday joys in self-worth, as well as discover the fullness and beauty within both her strength and vulnerability.
Black women’s strength is intimately tied to their unacknowledged suffering. An estimated eight in ten have endured some form of trauma—sexual abuse, domestic abuse, poverty, childhood abandonment, victim/witness to violence, and regular confrontation with racism and sexism. Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen shows that trauma often impacts mental and physical well-being. It can contribute to stress, anxiety, PTSD, and depression. Unaddressed it can lead to hypertension, diabetes, heart disease, overeating, and alcohol and drug abuse, and other chronic health issues.
Dr. Burnett-Zeigler explains that the strong Black woman image does not take into account the urgency of Black women’s needs, which must be identified in order to lead abundant lives. It interferes with her relationships and ability to function day to day. Through mindfulness and compassionate self-care, the psychologist offers methods for establishing authentic strength from the inside out.
This informative guide to healing, is life-changing, showing Black women how to prioritize the self and find everyday joys in self-worth, as well as discover the fullness and beauty within both her strength and vulnerability.
269 pages, Kindle Edition
Published June 29, 2021
143 people are currently reading
2232 people want to read
About the author
Inger Burnett-Zeigler
1 book24 followersDr. Inger Burnett-Zeigler is a licensed clinical psychologist and associate professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University. She has two decades of clinical experience helping people with stress, trauma, mood and anxiety conditions, and interpersonal strain. In her clinical practice she promotes holistic wellness through mindfulness and compassionate self-care. Inger’s scholarly work focuses on the role that social determinants of health play in mental illness and treatment, particularly in the Black community. She is an advocate for normalizing participation in mental health treatment and assuring that all individuals have access to high-quality, evidence based mental health care. Inger has written dozens of articles and other publications on trauma and mental health in the Black community and lectures widely on research about barriers to access and engagement in mental health treatment, mindfulness and strategies to improve mental health treatment participation and outcomes. She is an active contributor to the public discourse on mental health and she has been featured in the New York Times, TIME Magazine, and Chicago Tribune. Inger received her undergraduate degree in psychology from Cornell University, her doctorate in clinical psychology from Northwestern University, and completed a post-doctoral fellowship at the VA Ann Arbor/University of Michigan. She is a proud lifelong Chicagoan.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 69 reviews
August 3, 2021
What worked about this book for me was seeing Black women at the center of the conversation. So often books about mental health are written for "all people" which means white people, or at the very least no consideration is done for cultural differences between races. I appreciated that.
What didn't work for me was that the book was too scattered between memoir, self-help, and academic nonfiction. The book was too all over the place. I appreciate that the author tried to bring herself and her patients into the book, but wasn't wild about the advice sections. They felt unspecific.
What didn't work for me was that the book was too scattered between memoir, self-help, and academic nonfiction. The book was too all over the place. I appreciate that the author tried to bring herself and her patients into the book, but wasn't wild about the advice sections. They felt unspecific.
December 15, 2021
I was initially very excited about this book. It promises to be an insightful, intimate look at the unseen burden on Black women from a clinical eye. Black women are strong for a variety of reasons, however, over the years what once was a boon has been manipulated to benefit others at the expense of the Black womans’ body, mind and soul. Before I get into the critique, I will say contrary to my relatively low star rating the book is not a total wash.
The first few chapters are genuinely quite good. Here is a quick rundown of what’s covered before the drop-off point at chapter four:
- the strain of being the only Black woman in a workplace -> you worry about how you're being perceived and do not want to conform to any stereotypes regardless of their validity (ie liking fried chicken or getting cornrows) because you know you'll automatically be mentally filed into a certain box
- Black women despite being more consistently the primary breadwinner in a household have the highest rates of unemployment outside of Black men and the highest rates of poverty of any demographic
- how rampant imposter syndrome runs in comparison to women of other demographics
Coping with the overwhelming knowledge of the inequity in the world -> you can do everything 'right' and still have nothing to show for it which compounds the feelings of inferiority
- Having no outlet for vulnerability leading to internalizing major systemic issues as personal ones
Chapter 3 ‘Intergenerational Trauma’ is by far the best. Trauma responses become ingrained behavior modeled for future generations because no one ever stops to think about why they're continuing the cycle. For Black women specifically this is a huge facet of the strong Black woman archetype because it has been projected onto us on such a massive scale that it is treated as endemic to the culture - Black women are brainwashed to believe certain things are normal for all Black women to go through so it goes unchecked. While these attributes are abundantly common, they are not 'normal' merely normalized.
Because a large part of the archetype is not discussing trauma, the stress, anxiety and/or depression Black women may face is reinforced as they are unconsciously feeding the misconception that something is wrong with them individually for not being able able get over it rather than recognizing that everyone struggles sometime and getting help is not a sign of weakness. Black women tend to measure themselves by the success of other prosperous Black women when ironically those Black women are likely to be hiding the weight of their struggles for the same reason. This is rooted in the idea that the Black woman needs to shoulder all responsibility as she is best equipped to handle it despite its roots in specious white supremacist ideology.
The trauma spreads - hence the title intergenerational - as a result of not properly confronting their trauma which will inevitably result in the child repeating their mistakes out of spite or ignorance, thus retraumatizing the mother unintentionally. Or, arguably, a better alternative, the child distances themselves irrevocably from their mother. Either way the outcome is fractured child-parent relationships.
On some level I was already aware of this information as this is not my first jaunt into non-fiction centering Black experiences. Still it was nice to have it put into words in a way that allowed me to better articulate my own conclusions on the subjects at hand.
Like I alluded to before, Chapter 4 is where the shoe drops..
Chapter 4 ‘Loss of Innocence’ revolves around sexual trauma except it focuses on generalizations about all women instead of highlighting particularities relevant to Black women. It does not talk about risk factors for Black women, why or how Black women are subjected more to sexual violence than some other groups, warning signs to watch out for or harmful cultural messaging that enables abusers to hide in plain sight inside our community. She uses Black examples like Maya Angelou and Oprah Winfrey only to not actively build on what exactly makes Black women more susceptible.
From there it degrades further at a steady rate.
Burnett-Zeigler does come back to Black women, but she does continue to lack intersectionality at times moving forward. This is most evident in her sparse use of testimonials to back up her points. The synopsis suggests there will be anecdotes to explore the full spectrum of Black womanhood. Instead, Burnett-Zeigler most often falls back on her own personal opinions rather than open the floor for others to share. To a point, I don’t mind because the duality of her experience as a Black woman and a psychologist suggests an opportunity for a nuanced, novel look at the everyday ailments plaguing us today. She has a voice that could provide a fresh perspective.
By not including more testimonials she exposes the limited framework from which this book is operating. It written by a cisgender heterosexual Black woman in the range of mid 30s to 40s. On its face that isn’t an issue. Authors have been writing about topics outside of their wheelhouse to great acclaim for centuries. You do not necessarily have to be a part of a group to write about it well. That being said, not all authors are able to step outside of themself to combat potential blinds spots that could impede intent. Purposely or not, Burnett-Zeigler ends up filtering everything through this extremely narrow lens. This is never made more obvious than when she discusses religion.
She is clearly a religious person. There’s no problem with that. Many people, especially Black people, prefer a faith based therapist or therapy program. Religion is huge amongst Black people in general.
The trouble comes from her allowing this fact to cloud her impartiality.
For instance, she makes a good point about how important a sense of community is to Black women due to years of isolationism. It is all for naught though since she just falls back on religion as the primary source of community building. She never talks about the alternative: how isolating being non-religious can be when you're Black considering the hold it has on the group.
Burnett-Zeigler makes sure to attach a, frankly disingenuous, ‘or other communities’ in discussing the significance of community bonding. Without going into detail it is merely a sign of her virtue signaling. It’s important for Black women to have any kind of community in order to be less vulnerable to victimization. If Black women are given a chance to form ties amongst one another there are usually more opportunities to assuage the more damaging physical and/or mental effects if not mitigate them entirely. In using this language, she comes off as if she is guarding herself against criticism through faux political correctness rather than a desire to be genuinely all inclusive.
“This tradition among Black women of using faith in God to gather their strength to get through difficult times is a core part of being a strong Black woman” is a direct quote from her. This is an extremely alienating statement for one and also patently untrue since there are absolutely strong Black women who fit the mold otherwise who are not religious. The author is obviously using her own personal idea of a 'strong Black woman' as a barometer rather than using the basic archetype to jump off of. The foundation she's building her argument off of is very biased.
Is religion important to a lot of Black women? Indisputably. The problem is that the amount of Black women who are religious has nothing to do with the concept. Being a ‘strong Black woman’ is about feeling unbearable pressure to meet impossible standards. While achieving religious harmony is a facet of some womens’ expectations it is not a fundamental requirement of the archetype. As such a distinction needs to be made from when she’s speaking about the concept of a ‘strong Black woman’ as a whole vs speaking about aspects only applicable to some.
She doesn't bring up the disadvantages of religious zeal at all. Religion very much can be and is a stressor due to how it differs across the country. It is often weaponized by Black elders as a means of maintaining power and control. It can make it difficult to break out of the archetype when you have been conditioned to believe that God is all you need to weather the storm.
When bad things happen it absolutely can make you question your faith, we’re all only human after all, and that can be traumatizing if you've spent your whole life devoted, only to have that safety net ripped away. I disliked how she established religion essentially as a curative for all predicaments. All the positive things she says about how religion is helpful is true, however, she doesn't dig past the surface to look at negative contributing factors that could skew the data. She states that a belief in God is related to Black women being not as stressed or traumatized.
There’s a caveat to this statement that Burnett-Zeigler chooses, consciously or not, to ignore. Going back to what I said before, if you’ve been raised to believe He will provide/He doesn't send us more than we can handle rhetoric then that can easily be twisted into brushing off the pain and burying true feelings to soldier on since God is supposed to be all you need. To ask for more is ungrateful. What's worse is this is a position that is culturally validated as most Black people believe in God.
The religious chapter exposes how surface level a lot of the assertions are in this book. There's not a lot of statistics or studies or talking to other experts or interview excerpts. It’s more her ideas conveyed in a way that belie their spurious nature. This book presents itself as a feminist takedown of an insidious, racist myth for Black women by a Black woman. It’s not. It’s a long form opinion piece by a mainstream feminist who happens to be Black.
I could go on, but I’m just going to leave it here. While the religious chapter exposes the most holes in the logic, believe me it extends past that. Like when she unintentionally stigmatizes parenting as a mentally ill person by framing the presence of all mental illness as a guarantee there will be deficient parenting when she (hopefully) means ‘untreated’ mental illness or when she attempts to garner sympathy for an interviewee on the basis of her being discriminated against as a Black mother without providing enough context to make a proper assessment of the situation.
The first few chapters are genuinely quite good. Here is a quick rundown of what’s covered before the drop-off point at chapter four:
- the strain of being the only Black woman in a workplace -> you worry about how you're being perceived and do not want to conform to any stereotypes regardless of their validity (ie liking fried chicken or getting cornrows) because you know you'll automatically be mentally filed into a certain box
- Black women despite being more consistently the primary breadwinner in a household have the highest rates of unemployment outside of Black men and the highest rates of poverty of any demographic
- how rampant imposter syndrome runs in comparison to women of other demographics
Coping with the overwhelming knowledge of the inequity in the world -> you can do everything 'right' and still have nothing to show for it which compounds the feelings of inferiority
- Having no outlet for vulnerability leading to internalizing major systemic issues as personal ones
Chapter 3 ‘Intergenerational Trauma’ is by far the best. Trauma responses become ingrained behavior modeled for future generations because no one ever stops to think about why they're continuing the cycle. For Black women specifically this is a huge facet of the strong Black woman archetype because it has been projected onto us on such a massive scale that it is treated as endemic to the culture - Black women are brainwashed to believe certain things are normal for all Black women to go through so it goes unchecked. While these attributes are abundantly common, they are not 'normal' merely normalized.
Because a large part of the archetype is not discussing trauma, the stress, anxiety and/or depression Black women may face is reinforced as they are unconsciously feeding the misconception that something is wrong with them individually for not being able able get over it rather than recognizing that everyone struggles sometime and getting help is not a sign of weakness. Black women tend to measure themselves by the success of other prosperous Black women when ironically those Black women are likely to be hiding the weight of their struggles for the same reason. This is rooted in the idea that the Black woman needs to shoulder all responsibility as she is best equipped to handle it despite its roots in specious white supremacist ideology.
The trauma spreads - hence the title intergenerational - as a result of not properly confronting their trauma which will inevitably result in the child repeating their mistakes out of spite or ignorance, thus retraumatizing the mother unintentionally. Or, arguably, a better alternative, the child distances themselves irrevocably from their mother. Either way the outcome is fractured child-parent relationships.
On some level I was already aware of this information as this is not my first jaunt into non-fiction centering Black experiences. Still it was nice to have it put into words in a way that allowed me to better articulate my own conclusions on the subjects at hand.
Like I alluded to before, Chapter 4 is where the shoe drops..
Chapter 4 ‘Loss of Innocence’ revolves around sexual trauma except it focuses on generalizations about all women instead of highlighting particularities relevant to Black women. It does not talk about risk factors for Black women, why or how Black women are subjected more to sexual violence than some other groups, warning signs to watch out for or harmful cultural messaging that enables abusers to hide in plain sight inside our community. She uses Black examples like Maya Angelou and Oprah Winfrey only to not actively build on what exactly makes Black women more susceptible.
From there it degrades further at a steady rate.
Burnett-Zeigler does come back to Black women, but she does continue to lack intersectionality at times moving forward. This is most evident in her sparse use of testimonials to back up her points. The synopsis suggests there will be anecdotes to explore the full spectrum of Black womanhood. Instead, Burnett-Zeigler most often falls back on her own personal opinions rather than open the floor for others to share. To a point, I don’t mind because the duality of her experience as a Black woman and a psychologist suggests an opportunity for a nuanced, novel look at the everyday ailments plaguing us today. She has a voice that could provide a fresh perspective.
By not including more testimonials she exposes the limited framework from which this book is operating. It written by a cisgender heterosexual Black woman in the range of mid 30s to 40s. On its face that isn’t an issue. Authors have been writing about topics outside of their wheelhouse to great acclaim for centuries. You do not necessarily have to be a part of a group to write about it well. That being said, not all authors are able to step outside of themself to combat potential blinds spots that could impede intent. Purposely or not, Burnett-Zeigler ends up filtering everything through this extremely narrow lens. This is never made more obvious than when she discusses religion.
She is clearly a religious person. There’s no problem with that. Many people, especially Black people, prefer a faith based therapist or therapy program. Religion is huge amongst Black people in general.
The trouble comes from her allowing this fact to cloud her impartiality.
For instance, she makes a good point about how important a sense of community is to Black women due to years of isolationism. It is all for naught though since she just falls back on religion as the primary source of community building. She never talks about the alternative: how isolating being non-religious can be when you're Black considering the hold it has on the group.
Burnett-Zeigler makes sure to attach a, frankly disingenuous, ‘or other communities’ in discussing the significance of community bonding. Without going into detail it is merely a sign of her virtue signaling. It’s important for Black women to have any kind of community in order to be less vulnerable to victimization. If Black women are given a chance to form ties amongst one another there are usually more opportunities to assuage the more damaging physical and/or mental effects if not mitigate them entirely. In using this language, she comes off as if she is guarding herself against criticism through faux political correctness rather than a desire to be genuinely all inclusive.
“This tradition among Black women of using faith in God to gather their strength to get through difficult times is a core part of being a strong Black woman” is a direct quote from her. This is an extremely alienating statement for one and also patently untrue since there are absolutely strong Black women who fit the mold otherwise who are not religious. The author is obviously using her own personal idea of a 'strong Black woman' as a barometer rather than using the basic archetype to jump off of. The foundation she's building her argument off of is very biased.
Is religion important to a lot of Black women? Indisputably. The problem is that the amount of Black women who are religious has nothing to do with the concept. Being a ‘strong Black woman’ is about feeling unbearable pressure to meet impossible standards. While achieving religious harmony is a facet of some womens’ expectations it is not a fundamental requirement of the archetype. As such a distinction needs to be made from when she’s speaking about the concept of a ‘strong Black woman’ as a whole vs speaking about aspects only applicable to some.
She doesn't bring up the disadvantages of religious zeal at all. Religion very much can be and is a stressor due to how it differs across the country. It is often weaponized by Black elders as a means of maintaining power and control. It can make it difficult to break out of the archetype when you have been conditioned to believe that God is all you need to weather the storm.
When bad things happen it absolutely can make you question your faith, we’re all only human after all, and that can be traumatizing if you've spent your whole life devoted, only to have that safety net ripped away. I disliked how she established religion essentially as a curative for all predicaments. All the positive things she says about how religion is helpful is true, however, she doesn't dig past the surface to look at negative contributing factors that could skew the data. She states that a belief in God is related to Black women being not as stressed or traumatized.
There’s a caveat to this statement that Burnett-Zeigler chooses, consciously or not, to ignore. Going back to what I said before, if you’ve been raised to believe He will provide/He doesn't send us more than we can handle rhetoric then that can easily be twisted into brushing off the pain and burying true feelings to soldier on since God is supposed to be all you need. To ask for more is ungrateful. What's worse is this is a position that is culturally validated as most Black people believe in God.
The religious chapter exposes how surface level a lot of the assertions are in this book. There's not a lot of statistics or studies or talking to other experts or interview excerpts. It’s more her ideas conveyed in a way that belie their spurious nature. This book presents itself as a feminist takedown of an insidious, racist myth for Black women by a Black woman. It’s not. It’s a long form opinion piece by a mainstream feminist who happens to be Black.
I could go on, but I’m just going to leave it here. While the religious chapter exposes the most holes in the logic, believe me it extends past that. Like when she unintentionally stigmatizes parenting as a mentally ill person by framing the presence of all mental illness as a guarantee there will be deficient parenting when she (hopefully) means ‘untreated’ mental illness or when she attempts to garner sympathy for an interviewee on the basis of her being discriminated against as a Black mother without providing enough context to make a proper assessment of the situation.
October 4, 2021
I did a review on this book in depth. I also interviewed the author (Video coming soon).
Below is the link to the interview.
http://bigblackbooks.org/nobody-knows...
Below is the link to the interview.
http://bigblackbooks.org/nobody-knows...
June 12, 2021
Powerful and important book. All throughout the book there is an emphasis on empowerment from within one’s being not by catering to an image of strength but by accepting all parts of one’s self and how to express thoughts, feelings, and experiences in a balanced way. Important message and much overdue. Fantastic work!
July 11, 2021
Nobody Knows the Trouble I've Seen: Exploring the Emotional Lives of Black The Emotional Lives of Black Women by Inger Burnett-Zeigler
Published June 29, 2021
<3 This is a #MustRead. #Yoga #therapy #mentalhealth #selfcare #mentalillness #domesticviolence #healthcare #racial #disparities in healthcare #enslavement #addiction #BlackChurch #bipolar #denial #incarceration
Black women are beautiful, intelligent and capable —but mostly they embrace strong. Esteemed clinical psychologist, Dr. Inger Burnett-Zeigler, praises the strength of women, while exploring how trauma and adversity have led to deep emotional pain and shaped how they walk through the world.
Black women's strength is intimately tied to their unacknowledged suffering. An estimated eight in ten have endured some form of trauma—sexual abuse, domestic abuse, poverty, childhood abandonment, victim/witness to violence, and regular confrontation with racism and sexism. Nobody Knows the Trouble I've Seen shows that trauma often impacts mental and physical well-being. It can contribute to stress, anxiety, PTSD, and depression. Unaddressed it can lead to hypertension, diabetes, heart disease, overeating, and alcohol and drug abuse, and other chronic health issues.
Dr. Burnett-Zeigler explains that the strong Black woman image does not take into account the urgency of Black women's needs, which must be identified in order to lead abundant lives. It interferes with her relationships and ability to function day to day. Through mindfulness and compassionate self-care, the psychologist offers methods for establishing authentic strength from the inside out.
This informative guide to healing, is life-changing, showing Black women how to prioritize the self and find everyday joys in self-worth, as well as discover the fullness and beauty within both her strength and vulnerability.
Published June 29, 2021
<3 This is a #MustRead. #Yoga #therapy #mentalhealth #selfcare #mentalillness #domesticviolence #healthcare #racial #disparities in healthcare #enslavement #addiction #BlackChurch #bipolar #denial #incarceration
Black women are beautiful, intelligent and capable —but mostly they embrace strong. Esteemed clinical psychologist, Dr. Inger Burnett-Zeigler, praises the strength of women, while exploring how trauma and adversity have led to deep emotional pain and shaped how they walk through the world.
Black women's strength is intimately tied to their unacknowledged suffering. An estimated eight in ten have endured some form of trauma—sexual abuse, domestic abuse, poverty, childhood abandonment, victim/witness to violence, and regular confrontation with racism and sexism. Nobody Knows the Trouble I've Seen shows that trauma often impacts mental and physical well-being. It can contribute to stress, anxiety, PTSD, and depression. Unaddressed it can lead to hypertension, diabetes, heart disease, overeating, and alcohol and drug abuse, and other chronic health issues.
Dr. Burnett-Zeigler explains that the strong Black woman image does not take into account the urgency of Black women's needs, which must be identified in order to lead abundant lives. It interferes with her relationships and ability to function day to day. Through mindfulness and compassionate self-care, the psychologist offers methods for establishing authentic strength from the inside out.
This informative guide to healing, is life-changing, showing Black women how to prioritize the self and find everyday joys in self-worth, as well as discover the fullness and beauty within both her strength and vulnerability.
July 19, 2021
two big takeaways: burnett-zeigler is incredibly smart, and important for the future of psychology; and, wow (!) it must amazing having her as a therapist. i chose this book based on the title, cover, and quick blurb from the library, and did not know just how much information was packed inside. 'nobody knows' is part history book, part sociology text, part psychology text, part self-help book, entirely dedicated to the history (present, and future) of mental health, physical health, familial relations, cultural relations, and religion of Black women in the u.s. although i wasn't the intended audience, i found it important for white people to read, as i continuously reflected on my own experience with mental health treatment and learning in psychology, so much of which is based on the likes of freud, jung, skinner, maslow and the critiques of foucault, it's all white guys with glasses, varying degrees of lessening hair, and a limited point of view. every mental hospital/program i've been in, patients (and often staff), are a vast majority white; it always feels off, and this books helps explain why. a lot of information, too much to even attempt to summarize in a goodreads review (plus, i don't feel qualified to). glad i came across it, a lens-shifting book for sure.
November 30, 2021
This book is an intense, vital resource for Black women struggling under the myth that strength means suppressing a wide range of emotions. Drawn on both the experiences of clients and friends, Dr. Burnett-Zeigler’s work speaks to an underserved community.
This book is so impactful. As a white woman, I cannot say the book was written with me in mind, but I understand the tremendous pressure of perfection that many women are under. The book went much further and gave me a glimpse into women's lives in a way I never understood before. This is a beautiful resource for all women (especially women of color) and anyone else who wants to understand their struggle to live a fully balanced emotional life.
To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at: https://zibbyowens.com/transcript/dr-...
This book is so impactful. As a white woman, I cannot say the book was written with me in mind, but I understand the tremendous pressure of perfection that many women are under. The book went much further and gave me a glimpse into women's lives in a way I never understood before. This is a beautiful resource for all women (especially women of color) and anyone else who wants to understand their struggle to live a fully balanced emotional life.
To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at: https://zibbyowens.com/transcript/dr-...
December 11, 2021
The book is absolutely necessary. Reading it felt like the author was peeling off layers of me as if I were an onion. Speaking of onions, yes, I shed many tears reading this. I felt seen.
Although the content and suggestions weren’t “news” to me, it was the reminder that I needed to hear at this very moment. While reading, I asked myself several times -how does she know my story? my past?
I can see how someone would consider this book a HEAVY READ. However, for me I felt a sense of calm and relatability. I could not put this book down!
I will continue to recommend this book to every black woman I know.
5 out of 5 stars! Wow. Just WOW.
Although the content and suggestions weren’t “news” to me, it was the reminder that I needed to hear at this very moment. While reading, I asked myself several times -how does she know my story? my past?
I can see how someone would consider this book a HEAVY READ. However, for me I felt a sense of calm and relatability. I could not put this book down!
I will continue to recommend this book to every black woman I know.
5 out of 5 stars! Wow. Just WOW.
December 26, 2024
I wanted to read about black women and how we are impacted/discussed in literature. Even though this was nonfiction, there were so many elements where I felt seen or women I've loved, who raised me or who I have seen through life ~ I could connect with this book. I listened to this as an audiobook and I'm still processing all I heard.
October 18, 2021
This book touches on wounds. It is not for everyone. I read it in pieces. Overall it was a good experience. I will read it again. Not sure if I would recommend it. It starts out as a 3 star book. And it ends at 5.
March 18, 2022
This book sets the soul free. It gives validation to the Black woman experience. It is exactly what I needed. I highly recommend this book for Black women dealing with various areas of trauma. You are not alone. You are seen. You can heal. Take the journey.
March 4, 2023
Loved this book! Felt like a much needed therapy session.
April 18, 2023
Thank you! This was very much needed. That’s all. That’s the review.
May 30, 2022
This book came off a little more self-helpy than what I thought it was going to be.
August 17, 2021
Thank you Booksparks and the publisher for sending this my way.
I want to start out by saying I am a white, cis woman. This book was in no way written for me, so I suggest looking for some #ownvoices reviewers for their opinions on this book. I have my own, but I am not the intended audience so my thoughts should be taken with a grain of salt.
I thought this was an insightful read, if not hard to read at times. The author does have an introduction where she glazes over the topics the book discusses, and gives a bit of content warnings as well. I appreciate that! Being a white woman, I know a lot of this book will not connect with me because I have not had these same experiences, but I also learned a lot and am now aware of some of the struggles Black women face in todays society.
Like I said, some of this book was tough to read, but important to get through. A lot of this is detailing the struggles the author, her friends, and her patients go through on a daily basis and while growing up, as well as how to work on fixing those things. She splits the book into sections like parenting, intimacy, vulnerability, and healing. Some of the chapters feel a bit repetitive, but each ones breaks down and works through its own topic.
I was able to take some of the lessons in this and apply it to myself, but a majority of this book I was just sitting back and learning the ways Black women have struggled for centuries, and the ways society has let them down. It is all very eye opening.
Overall, I am in no way the intended audience for this book, but I was able to learn some things and have my eyes opened to the lives some Black women live. There is history in this book, and it covers a wide variety of topics in so few pages. Despite discussing some difficult topics, the writing was engaging and I think everyone could learn a thing or two from reading this.
CW: childhood sexual abuse, domestic violence, pregnancy trauma, abandonment, racism, gun violence, sexism.
I want to start out by saying I am a white, cis woman. This book was in no way written for me, so I suggest looking for some #ownvoices reviewers for their opinions on this book. I have my own, but I am not the intended audience so my thoughts should be taken with a grain of salt.
I thought this was an insightful read, if not hard to read at times. The author does have an introduction where she glazes over the topics the book discusses, and gives a bit of content warnings as well. I appreciate that! Being a white woman, I know a lot of this book will not connect with me because I have not had these same experiences, but I also learned a lot and am now aware of some of the struggles Black women face in todays society.
Like I said, some of this book was tough to read, but important to get through. A lot of this is detailing the struggles the author, her friends, and her patients go through on a daily basis and while growing up, as well as how to work on fixing those things. She splits the book into sections like parenting, intimacy, vulnerability, and healing. Some of the chapters feel a bit repetitive, but each ones breaks down and works through its own topic.
I was able to take some of the lessons in this and apply it to myself, but a majority of this book I was just sitting back and learning the ways Black women have struggled for centuries, and the ways society has let them down. It is all very eye opening.
Overall, I am in no way the intended audience for this book, but I was able to learn some things and have my eyes opened to the lives some Black women live. There is history in this book, and it covers a wide variety of topics in so few pages. Despite discussing some difficult topics, the writing was engaging and I think everyone could learn a thing or two from reading this.
CW: childhood sexual abuse, domestic violence, pregnancy trauma, abandonment, racism, gun violence, sexism.
September 22, 2021
"Usually when people talk about the 'strength' of Black women they are referring to the way in which they perceive Black women coping with oppression. They ignore the reality that to be strong in the face of oppression is not the same as overcoming, that endurance is not to be confused with transformation." bell hooks, ain't i a woman
This book is the ultimate guide to Black women's journey to acceptance, healing and self love. Dr. Zeigler successfully covers many sensitive subjects that Black women encounter throughout their lives. Bound within the spine of this masterpiece are several therapy sessions and recommendations that you can revisit ad lib. Dr. Zeigler unravels the myth of what society believes a strong Black woman to be and redefines what it means to be strong by embracing your vulnerability. Dr. Zeigler did an outstanding job by incorporating statistics and research surrounding Black trauma. She gives the definition of the strong Black woman and educates us on how the effects of slavery, intergenerational trauma and epigenetics all continue to negatively contribute to Black womens health. This book outlines a wealth of recommendations to acknowledge and address your mental health challenges that can present itself physically as well. At the beginning of each chapter is a poem or quotes by bell hooks, Maya Angelou, Audre Lorde and Ntozake Shange. Included are additional resources / contact information where you can report several types of abuse and the suicide prevention line. Remember, if you see or suspect abuse, report it.
Think for a moment what lies beneath your strength.
This book is the ultimate guide to Black women's journey to acceptance, healing and self love. Dr. Zeigler successfully covers many sensitive subjects that Black women encounter throughout their lives. Bound within the spine of this masterpiece are several therapy sessions and recommendations that you can revisit ad lib. Dr. Zeigler unravels the myth of what society believes a strong Black woman to be and redefines what it means to be strong by embracing your vulnerability. Dr. Zeigler did an outstanding job by incorporating statistics and research surrounding Black trauma. She gives the definition of the strong Black woman and educates us on how the effects of slavery, intergenerational trauma and epigenetics all continue to negatively contribute to Black womens health. This book outlines a wealth of recommendations to acknowledge and address your mental health challenges that can present itself physically as well. At the beginning of each chapter is a poem or quotes by bell hooks, Maya Angelou, Audre Lorde and Ntozake Shange. Included are additional resources / contact information where you can report several types of abuse and the suicide prevention line. Remember, if you see or suspect abuse, report it.
Think for a moment what lies beneath your strength.
September 5, 2021
I really enjoyed this book. I found it relatable and warm. I recommend this book to all Black women living in today’s society.
February 25, 2022
Major letdown
February 15, 2025
3.5 ⭐️, perhaps??
Admittedly, I really just wanted to be done with this. Some of the content is heaaavvyyy, and even more so because the examples are TRUE, either worldly or de-identified accounts of her clients. I’m a bit perplexed wondering who the intended audience is, because at times, she speaks directly, as though assuming that the reader is Black or a Black woman. But I wonder how many people really want to read a book about their lived experience? Of course (hello, therapy!) sometimes we experience things that we don’t know are not uncommon, so it can be healing to learn that there is a name for something (i.e., parentification). But, the way that she breaks down some concepts almost points to an assumption that the audience is completely unfamiliar- take the Strong Black Woman concept, for example. Maybe she’s just covering all her bases in being especially explanatory, whether readers are Black women who relate, or not. So, fair enough I guess. But sometimes it was just a little confusing as a reader, like, are you talking to me??
One book can’t cover everything, but this book felt very binary or heteronormative in some ways, to me. For example, the chapter called “Daddy Issues” makes no mention of families of same-sex couples. And she talks a lot about religion and its historical role for African Americans, but only Christianity. I was particularly interested in this book as a “baby therapist”/Mental Health Counseling grad student and she’s a Black psychologist (yay). Yet even as someone whose experience aligns with the lens that she speaks through, she leaves out A LOT, with regard to sexuality, religion (or atheism or agnosticism, etc.), gender identity, etc.
XOXO to anyone who actually reads this whole review… closing with a few quotes that I appreciated— yay psychoeducation, yay therapy, etc.
“Beneath the surface problem is a set of life experiences, embedded within a family system and combined with individual biology and the social environment. In therapy we work to understand how all of these factors have contributed to the current state of suffering and replace learned unhealthy behaviors with new ones that promote wellness.” (p.110 from ebook)
“Therapy is the process of identifying the source of our suffering, either in the past or the present; becoming aware of how we cling to that which causes us pain; and learning how to let it go.” (p. 127 from ebook)
“Joy does not deny or minimize the reality of the painful experiences that we may have endured or require that we silence our pain. Joyful moments are hiding in the crevices of our lives, waiting to be seen and held tenderly.” (p. 143 from ebook)
Admittedly, I really just wanted to be done with this. Some of the content is heaaavvyyy, and even more so because the examples are TRUE, either worldly or de-identified accounts of her clients. I’m a bit perplexed wondering who the intended audience is, because at times, she speaks directly, as though assuming that the reader is Black or a Black woman. But I wonder how many people really want to read a book about their lived experience? Of course (hello, therapy!) sometimes we experience things that we don’t know are not uncommon, so it can be healing to learn that there is a name for something (i.e., parentification). But, the way that she breaks down some concepts almost points to an assumption that the audience is completely unfamiliar- take the Strong Black Woman concept, for example. Maybe she’s just covering all her bases in being especially explanatory, whether readers are Black women who relate, or not. So, fair enough I guess. But sometimes it was just a little confusing as a reader, like, are you talking to me??
One book can’t cover everything, but this book felt very binary or heteronormative in some ways, to me. For example, the chapter called “Daddy Issues” makes no mention of families of same-sex couples. And she talks a lot about religion and its historical role for African Americans, but only Christianity. I was particularly interested in this book as a “baby therapist”/Mental Health Counseling grad student and she’s a Black psychologist (yay). Yet even as someone whose experience aligns with the lens that she speaks through, she leaves out A LOT, with regard to sexuality, religion (or atheism or agnosticism, etc.), gender identity, etc.
XOXO to anyone who actually reads this whole review… closing with a few quotes that I appreciated— yay psychoeducation, yay therapy, etc.
“Beneath the surface problem is a set of life experiences, embedded within a family system and combined with individual biology and the social environment. In therapy we work to understand how all of these factors have contributed to the current state of suffering and replace learned unhealthy behaviors with new ones that promote wellness.” (p.110 from ebook)
“Therapy is the process of identifying the source of our suffering, either in the past or the present; becoming aware of how we cling to that which causes us pain; and learning how to let it go.” (p. 127 from ebook)
“Joy does not deny or minimize the reality of the painful experiences that we may have endured or require that we silence our pain. Joyful moments are hiding in the crevices of our lives, waiting to be seen and held tenderly.” (p. 143 from ebook)
November 27, 2024
It took me a year to finally get around to reading this book and I ended up reading it at the perfect time. I just didn't know it would resonate with me so much right now. I cried through most of this book. I think every black woman needs to read or listen to this. It's just so validating. If you're just starting your healing and self love journey, I feel like this gives you so much important information on where to begin. If you've been on this journey for a while, I think this book will give you the reassurance you need. Sometimes we just need a reminder of what we've been through, the sacrifices we've made, and of course our successes. We deserve to rest, to be ourselves, to feel safe, loved and understood. We deserve to give ourselves grace and kindness. We deserve to spoil ourselves. We also must face these hardships head on. It's never been easy for us and it's not fair, but it feels nice to know you're not alone. Almost every black woman feels like you. We are strong, resilient, creative, intelligent and powerful. We have the ability to make change in our personal lives and in the world.
The only thing I wish the author had touched on was the abuse that black women face in the church. The sexual, physical, and spiritual violence that we face in our spiritual sanctuaries. She did speak on the church and how black women have used religious and spiritual practices to cope. She spoke on how there's a lot of stigma within the church about mental health which I do think was important to speak on. However the author spoke on all the different types of abuse and different ways that can manifest except the abuse within the church. Many black folks develope OCD, spiritual psychosis, and Anxiety due to religion. At one point the author says religious people are less likely to devlope depression which may be true but theyre more likely to devlope delusions, anxiety, pstd, ocd, etc. Many black women and girls are sexually abused by people within the church. When they are in a domestic violence situation, the church often dismisses it and encourages us to stay with our abuser. Many of us are raised to be fearful of life, god, and, the future. I do wish this had been spoken about. I think it's extremely important and relevant to what's being discussed in the book.
That being said, this book was incredible in my opinion and a wonderful place to start on your journey ladies ❤️
The only thing I wish the author had touched on was the abuse that black women face in the church. The sexual, physical, and spiritual violence that we face in our spiritual sanctuaries. She did speak on the church and how black women have used religious and spiritual practices to cope. She spoke on how there's a lot of stigma within the church about mental health which I do think was important to speak on. However the author spoke on all the different types of abuse and different ways that can manifest except the abuse within the church. Many black folks develope OCD, spiritual psychosis, and Anxiety due to religion. At one point the author says religious people are less likely to devlope depression which may be true but theyre more likely to devlope delusions, anxiety, pstd, ocd, etc. Many black women and girls are sexually abused by people within the church. When they are in a domestic violence situation, the church often dismisses it and encourages us to stay with our abuser. Many of us are raised to be fearful of life, god, and, the future. I do wish this had been spoken about. I think it's extremely important and relevant to what's being discussed in the book.
That being said, this book was incredible in my opinion and a wonderful place to start on your journey ladies ❤️
December 24, 2022
Book Review:
Nobody Knows The Trouble I’ve Seen: The Emotional Lives of Black Women by Inger Burnett-Ziegler, PhD. I was very excited to read a book that focused on the specific intricacies of black women. This is a call to center ourselves and focus on self care so that we do not pour out of an empty cup.
Black women are known to give to the point of physical and emotional exhaustion. We have to uproot and replace the strong black woman trope in order to experience ease and softness. The first four chapters addresses this premise and provides tangible examples of how to overcome. Dr. Burnett-Ziegler covers a lot of ground in the book. She gives some case study examples and even provides some life experiences of her own. Her transparency is appreciated and contributes to the overall quality of the book.
The book acknowledges the fact that the strong woman image reduces the urgency of our needs and ability to thrive. On that note, I would like to see this subject explored further as the image correlates with the disadvantages of religious zeal and how religion plays a part as a weapon in the strong black woman mindset and is often used to obtain free work under the guise of responsibility. This becomes a problem if you have been taught to believe that all burdens of adulting belong to the black woman in any of the relationships that she’s involved in. The unfortunate reality is that this drives insecurities and ties our worth to what we can provide. This was an excellent read and I appreciate the contribution to the conversation that this book. Highly recommended.
#book #bookstagram #books #LaQuettaGlaze #ingerburnettzeigler
Nobody Knows The Trouble I’ve Seen: The Emotional Lives of Black Women by Inger Burnett-Ziegler, PhD. I was very excited to read a book that focused on the specific intricacies of black women. This is a call to center ourselves and focus on self care so that we do not pour out of an empty cup.
Black women are known to give to the point of physical and emotional exhaustion. We have to uproot and replace the strong black woman trope in order to experience ease and softness. The first four chapters addresses this premise and provides tangible examples of how to overcome. Dr. Burnett-Ziegler covers a lot of ground in the book. She gives some case study examples and even provides some life experiences of her own. Her transparency is appreciated and contributes to the overall quality of the book.
The book acknowledges the fact that the strong woman image reduces the urgency of our needs and ability to thrive. On that note, I would like to see this subject explored further as the image correlates with the disadvantages of religious zeal and how religion plays a part as a weapon in the strong black woman mindset and is often used to obtain free work under the guise of responsibility. This becomes a problem if you have been taught to believe that all burdens of adulting belong to the black woman in any of the relationships that she’s involved in. The unfortunate reality is that this drives insecurities and ties our worth to what we can provide. This was an excellent read and I appreciate the contribution to the conversation that this book. Highly recommended.
#book #bookstagram #books #LaQuettaGlaze #ingerburnettzeigler
January 23, 2024
The title of this book and its focus on black women's mental health is what got my attention. This book was somewhat hard to read because of the topics (e.g., sexual assault) discussed. But it was also insightful, thoroughly researched, and catered specifically to black women and girls. I appreciated the author providing personal details about her life, firsthand accounts of some of her patients/family members, and how being imbued with the "strong black women" myth affected their lives. Dr. Inger Burnett-Ziegler does a good job of recognizing and acknowledging that mental health issues in the black community can be taboo, and getting help can be problematic when healthcare professionals are unaware of or disregard cultural differences. Another reviewer mentioned that "the book was too scattered between memoir, self-help, and academic nonfiction" (Traci Thomas). I agree with her opinion on that part because I wasn't sure what the context of the book would contain, and these concepts threw me off at first until I learned to expect it. Overall, I do think this was a good book and could be an informational read for people who aren't well versed with the "strong black woman" myth and the effects cultures/American system has on black women receiving mental health care.
March 21, 2023
Dr. Inger Burnett-Zeigler, praises the strength of women, while exploring how trauma and adversity have led to deep emotional pain and shaped how they walk through the world.
This informative guide to healing, is life-changing, showing Black women how to prioritize the self and find everyday joys in self-worth, as well as discover the fullness and beauty within both her strength and vulnerability.
******** ********
This is one of them books that’s so powerful I find myself shouting “Yes Sis!” Or “Tell Dem Sis” as I’m reading…. Because it hits so many home truths that we as a culture are only learning in the last decade to accept and truly understand.
Some may consider this book to be a heavy read and other may find it calming. For me… reading this book was an essential form of self-care (maybe because I relate to so much of it). I know so many of us have read this like this before… but sometimes we need a reminder.
The most important thing you can take from this book is recognising there is power and strength in vulnerability.
******** ********
Favourite quote:-
“Now I know that my strength is in my vulnerability” (p.g 218)
This informative guide to healing, is life-changing, showing Black women how to prioritize the self and find everyday joys in self-worth, as well as discover the fullness and beauty within both her strength and vulnerability.
******** ********
This is one of them books that’s so powerful I find myself shouting “Yes Sis!” Or “Tell Dem Sis” as I’m reading…. Because it hits so many home truths that we as a culture are only learning in the last decade to accept and truly understand.
Some may consider this book to be a heavy read and other may find it calming. For me… reading this book was an essential form of self-care (maybe because I relate to so much of it). I know so many of us have read this like this before… but sometimes we need a reminder.
The most important thing you can take from this book is recognising there is power and strength in vulnerability.
******** ********
Favourite quote:-
“Now I know that my strength is in my vulnerability” (p.g 218)
May 28, 2023
This book is written for black women by a black woman, and as a result I understand that I am not the person this book was written for and that my opinion is to be taken with a grain of salt. Here it is anyway for what it’s worth:
Things that worked:
—conversational tone
—specific anecdotes about actual experiences
—good use of research to supplement real stories
Things that didn’t work:
—this book does not appear to be for queer black women and non-binary folk at all, which is fine I suppose but like. Some chapters were very much written with the hypothetical reader’s cishet life experience in mind (the one about church being a universally healing space did make me think a lot about how black queer people might navigate the stigma that is being perpetuated by what is supposed to be a space of community and healing and the oppression of Christianity and/or reclaiming of the faith)
—I’m not sure what the point was? What was the message supposed to be? Was there a thesis statement? Idk I might have just missed it bc again, not for me, but I still don’t know
Things that worked:
—conversational tone
—specific anecdotes about actual experiences
—good use of research to supplement real stories
Things that didn’t work:
—this book does not appear to be for queer black women and non-binary folk at all, which is fine I suppose but like. Some chapters were very much written with the hypothetical reader’s cishet life experience in mind (the one about church being a universally healing space did make me think a lot about how black queer people might navigate the stigma that is being perpetuated by what is supposed to be a space of community and healing and the oppression of Christianity and/or reclaiming of the faith)
—I’m not sure what the point was? What was the message supposed to be? Was there a thesis statement? Idk I might have just missed it bc again, not for me, but I still don’t know
November 17, 2021
I think it’s probably hard to not relate to a book by a Black woman from the southside of Chicago who is my age. While the author’s family makeup differed from mine, I just feel like her mother, her grandmother and the things they told her and instilled in her from a place of pride but also from their own hurt and hurt passed down to them was just so relatable. I really like the way this book weaved therapy throughout in the author’s own story but also in the stories of the women she used as examples. It is practical, approachable and a great intro to someone who has never had therapy and would like to consider it. She gives a real example of a session telling the reader exactly what they can expect (with her) and I think it’s a really cool way to put someone at ease who may be grappling with attending therapy. Really important work I think.
March 25, 2022
The first half of this book was really telling me about myself! "Being a strong Black woman has historically been the essence of Black femininity ". Whew! The truth of that and so many other similar insights had me really questioning so much of myself, the personal I cultivate, the things I hold myself accountable for...Really really good.
But I was REALLY disappointed by her analysis/lack of analysis in one section--the detrimental role The Church plays in upholding the myth of the Strong Black Woman Black and in delaying/preventing Black women from seeking professional mental health services. There was no real acknowledgement of this, and I think this is harmful to ignore
Overall though, good book.
But I was REALLY disappointed by her analysis/lack of analysis in one section--the detrimental role The Church plays in upholding the myth of the Strong Black Woman Black and in delaying/preventing Black women from seeking professional mental health services. There was no real acknowledgement of this, and I think this is harmful to ignore
Overall though, good book.
August 29, 2021
Good book. I love the supporting research references, that’s just the scholar in me. The Black girl in me needed this book. I think it’s a great read for us to not only understand ourselves and do the work, but understand another sista’s issues that we may not have experienced. The sexual abuse was chilling and heartbreaking for me to read. It wasn’t my experience. However it helped me understand how the violations occurring as a girl haunt women in their adults lives. The suicide rate increases for Black women was also shocking. I like the questions she gave for your to ask yourself in chapter five.
February 20, 2022
This was just what I needed in this season of my life! I loved this book. It was like therapy in a book. It's so true and validating. I'm on a healing journey and this was something that is helpful for this journey. I liked the authors ability to marry facts with empathy. Sometimes there are hard truths we need to hear and the impact of the delivery can ruin the message. This author got that and delivered with the heart of a teacher and kindness of a loved one. I'm so glad I ran into this book on a shelve at the library. It's just what I needed. I love the goal of promoting therapy in the black community it can save lives.
March 13, 2025
Nobody Knows the Trouble I've Seen is a powerful and necessary read that beautifully explores the emotional lives of Black women. It serves as both a collective and individual reminder of the healing and wellness journey we are on. One of the biggest takeaways for me was the importance of rest in the healing process—something I’ve often struggled with, mistakenly equating stillness with laziness. This book helped me reframe that mindset and truly embrace rest as a vital part of self-care.
If you’re a Black woman on your wellness journey, this is an absolute must-read. Without a doubt, it’s in my top five recommendations!
If you’re a Black woman on your wellness journey, this is an absolute must-read. Without a doubt, it’s in my top five recommendations!
October 10, 2021
I had a hard time reading this one. It hit too close to home for me. I am a black woman and the things discussed in this book made me feel a little stressed. There is some great insight into the world of black women and how we process stress and anxiety, which seems not to be working in our favor.
I enjoyed it overall but I guess right now in this season of my life, this is not the read for me. I would recommend to anyone looking for more insight into what being a strong Black woman entails.
I enjoyed it overall but I guess right now in this season of my life, this is not the read for me. I would recommend to anyone looking for more insight into what being a strong Black woman entails.
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