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Tall Tales and Wee Stories
"Tall Tales and Wee Stories" brings together the very best of Billy's storytelling for the first time, including The Last Supper, Jojoba Shampoo, Incontinence Pants and Shouting at Wildebeest. With an introduction and original illustrations by Billy throughout, it is an inspirational, energetic and riotously funny read, and a fitting celebration of one of the finest comedians.
330 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2019
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About the author
Billy Connolly
52 books262 followersWilliam "Billy" Connolly, Jr., CBE is a Scottish comedian, musician, presenter and actor. He is sometimes known, especially in his native Scotland, by the nickname The Big Yin (The Big One). His first trade, in the early 1960s, was as a welder (specifically a boilermaker) in the Glasgow shipyards, but he gave it up towards the end of the decade to pursue a career as a folk singer in the Humblebums and subsequently as a soloist. In the early 1970s he made the transition from folk-singer with a comedic persona to fully-fledged comedian, a role in which he continues. He also became an actor, and has appeared in such films as Mrs. Brown (1997), for which he was nominated for a BAFTA; The Boondock Saints (1999); The Last Samurai (2003); Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events (2004); and The X-Files: I Want to Believe (2008).
It is as a stand-up comedian that Connolly is best known. His observational comedy is idiosyncratic and often off-the-cuff. He has outraged certain sectors of audiences, critics and the media with his free use of the word "fuck". He has made jokes relating to masturbation, blasphemy, defecation, flatulence, haemorrhoids, sex, his father's illness, his aunts' cruelty and, in the latter stages of his career, old age (specifically his experiences of growing old). In 2007 and again in 2010, he was voted the greatest stand-up comic on Channel 4's 100 Greatest Stand-Ups.
Connolly has been married to comedian and psychologist Pamela Stephenson since 1989. In the book Billy, and in a December 2008 online interview, Connolly states he was sexually abused by his father between the ages of 10 and 15. He believes this was a result of the Catholic Church not allowing his father to divorce after his mother left the family. Due to this, Connolly has a "deep distrust and dislike of the Catholic church and any other organization that brainwashes people". In a 1999 interview with "The Sunday Herald" Connolly condemned the SNP as "racist" and the new Scottish parliament as a "joke".
In November 1998, Connolly was the subject of a two-hour retrospective entitled Billy Connolly: Erect for 30 Years, which included tributes from Judi Dench, Sean Connery, Whoopi Goldberg, Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, and Eddie Izzard.
It is as a stand-up comedian that Connolly is best known. His observational comedy is idiosyncratic and often off-the-cuff. He has outraged certain sectors of audiences, critics and the media with his free use of the word "fuck". He has made jokes relating to masturbation, blasphemy, defecation, flatulence, haemorrhoids, sex, his father's illness, his aunts' cruelty and, in the latter stages of his career, old age (specifically his experiences of growing old). In 2007 and again in 2010, he was voted the greatest stand-up comic on Channel 4's 100 Greatest Stand-Ups.
Connolly has been married to comedian and psychologist Pamela Stephenson since 1989. In the book Billy, and in a December 2008 online interview, Connolly states he was sexually abused by his father between the ages of 10 and 15. He believes this was a result of the Catholic Church not allowing his father to divorce after his mother left the family. Due to this, Connolly has a "deep distrust and dislike of the Catholic church and any other organization that brainwashes people". In a 1999 interview with "The Sunday Herald" Connolly condemned the SNP as "racist" and the new Scottish parliament as a "joke".
In November 1998, Connolly was the subject of a two-hour retrospective entitled Billy Connolly: Erect for 30 Years, which included tributes from Judi Dench, Sean Connery, Whoopi Goldberg, Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, and Eddie Izzard.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 603 reviews
January 3, 2021
EXCERPT: And into this (pub) one day wandered a guy called Gordon, with his vertical-stripe velvet coat, his shoes that turned up at the front, his Brylcreemed hair, his Ascot tie and his violin. And a wierd look about his face. I became instantly friendly with him.
Gordon only had one eye - he'd lost the other one in a motoring accident in Spain - but that's not when we discovered it, that came later. We found that out one day when it was somebody's birthday in the pub. 'Happy birthday!' - chink-chink - 'Happy birthday! All the best!' - chink-chink - 'Yeah, happy birthday to you!' - chink-chink. And Gordon went; 'Yeah, happy birthday!' and he lifted his glass and chink-chinked it with his glass eye. We were amazed: 'Did you see that? He chinked the glass off his fucking eye!'
He was a crazy bloke. He drank Guinness and when he needed to pee, he'd take his eye out and put it in the foam, because there were a lot of thieves in the pub. We called them 'mine-sweepers', because they'd go up and grab somebody else's glass, saying, 'That's mine!' Well, they'd try it with Gordon's - 'That's mine!' - and then they'd see this eye floating in the foam: 'Aaaggghhh!'
Well I was walking through the pub one day, and he came in the door with his arm in a sling. I said, 'What happened to you?' He said, 'You'll never believe it. I was driving up Sauchiehill Street, I was scratching my good eye, and I ran into a bus.' He'd thought because his artificial eye was so expensive he could see through it!
ABOUT 'TALL TALES AND WEE STORIES': In December 2018, after fifty years of belly-laughs, energy and outrage, Billy Connolly announced his retirement from live stand-up comedy. It had been an extraordinary career.
When he first started out in the late sixties, Billy played the banjo in the folk clubs of Scotland. Between songs, he would improvise a bit, telling anecdotes from the Clyde shipyard where he'd worked. In the process, he made all kinds of discoveries about what audiences found funny, from his own brilliant mimes to the power of speaking irreverently about politics or explicitly about sex. He began to understand the craft of great storytelling. Soon the songs became shorter and the monologues longer, and Billy quickly became recognised as one of the most exciting comedians of his generation.
Billy's routines always felt spontaneous. He never wrote scripts, always creating his comedy freshly on stage in the presence of a live audience. A brilliant comic story might be subsequently discarded, adapted or embellished. A quick observation or short anecdote one night, could become a twenty-minute segment by the next night of a tour.
Billy always brought a beautiful sense of the absurd to his shows as he riffed on his family, hecklers, swimming in the North Sea or naked bungee jumping. But his comedy can be laced with anger too. He hates pretentiousness and calls out hypocrisy wherever he sees it. His insights about the human condition have shocked many people, while his unique talent and startling appearance on stage gave him license to say anything he damn well pleased about sex, politics or religion.
Billy got away with it because he has always had the popular touch. His comedy spans generations and different social tribes in a way that few others have ever managed.
MY THOUGHTS: I bought this book from a small independent bookstore in Russell, northern New Zealand, when we were up there on holiday over the 2019/20 Christmas/New Year period.
I love Billy Connolly and was lucky enough to see him live last time he toured New Zealand. I came out of his show with my mascara all down my face, and my sides ached for days.
Billy writes exactly as he talks, so I could hear him as I was reading. Some of the stories were familiar to me, some were new. All were entertaining. No one escapes his attention. Not his wife, daughters, friends, workmates, or the scone loving, brogue, twinset and heather coloured tweed wearing elderly ladies of Scotland.
If you're a Billy Connolly fan, or simply need a good laugh, this is the book you need. It has joined The World of Pooh: The Complete Winnie-The-Pooh and the House at Pooh Corner by A.A. Milne as my all time favourites. They are never put away on a shelf, but instead are always somewhere close at hand where I can pick one up and while away a few minutes, or hours.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
THE AUTHOR: William "Billy" Connolly, Jr., CBE is a Scottish comedian, musician, presenter and actor. He is sometimes known, especially in his native Scotland, by the nickname The Big Yin (The Big One). His first trade, in the early 1960s, was as a welder (specifically a boilermaker) in the Glasgow shipyards, but he gave it up towards the end of the decade to pursue a career as a folk singer in the Humblebums and subsequently as a soloist. In the early 1970s he made the transition from folk-singer with a comedic persona to fully-fledged comedian, a role in which he continues. He also became an actor.
It is as a stand-up comedian that Connolly is best known. His observational comedy is idiosyncratic and often off-the-cuff. He has outraged certain sectors of audiences, critics and the media with his free use of the word "fuck". He has made jokes relating to masturbation, blasphemy, defecation, flatulence, haemorrhoids, sex, his father's illness, his aunts' cruelty and, in the latter stages of his career, old age (specifically his experiences of growing old). In 2007 and again in 2010, he was voted the greatest stand-up comic on Channel 4's 100 Greatest Stand-Ups.
Connolly has been married to comedian and psychologist Pamela Stephenson since 1989. In the book Billy, and in a December 2008 online interview, Connolly states he was sexually abused by his father between the ages of 10 and 15. He believes this was a result of the Catholic Church not allowing his father to divorce after his mother left the family. Due to this, Connolly has a "deep distrust and dislike of the Catholic church and any other organization that brainwashes people". In a 1999 interview with "The Sunday Herald" Connolly condemned the SNP as "racist" and the new Scottish parliament as a "joke".
In November 1998, Connolly was the subject of a two-hour retrospective entitled Billy Connolly: Erect for 30 Years, which included tributes from Judi Dench, Sean Connery, Whoopi Goldberg, Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, and Eddie Izzard.
DISCLOSURE: I own my copy of Tall Tales and Wee Stories written by Billy Connolly and published by Two Roads. All opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own personal opinions.
For an explanation of my rating system please refer to my Goodreads.com profile page or the about page on sandysbookaday.wordpress.com
This review and others are also published on Twitter, Instagram and my webpage https://sandysbookaday.wordpress.com/...
Gordon only had one eye - he'd lost the other one in a motoring accident in Spain - but that's not when we discovered it, that came later. We found that out one day when it was somebody's birthday in the pub. 'Happy birthday!' - chink-chink - 'Happy birthday! All the best!' - chink-chink - 'Yeah, happy birthday to you!' - chink-chink. And Gordon went; 'Yeah, happy birthday!' and he lifted his glass and chink-chinked it with his glass eye. We were amazed: 'Did you see that? He chinked the glass off his fucking eye!'
He was a crazy bloke. He drank Guinness and when he needed to pee, he'd take his eye out and put it in the foam, because there were a lot of thieves in the pub. We called them 'mine-sweepers', because they'd go up and grab somebody else's glass, saying, 'That's mine!' Well, they'd try it with Gordon's - 'That's mine!' - and then they'd see this eye floating in the foam: 'Aaaggghhh!'
Well I was walking through the pub one day, and he came in the door with his arm in a sling. I said, 'What happened to you?' He said, 'You'll never believe it. I was driving up Sauchiehill Street, I was scratching my good eye, and I ran into a bus.' He'd thought because his artificial eye was so expensive he could see through it!
ABOUT 'TALL TALES AND WEE STORIES': In December 2018, after fifty years of belly-laughs, energy and outrage, Billy Connolly announced his retirement from live stand-up comedy. It had been an extraordinary career.
When he first started out in the late sixties, Billy played the banjo in the folk clubs of Scotland. Between songs, he would improvise a bit, telling anecdotes from the Clyde shipyard where he'd worked. In the process, he made all kinds of discoveries about what audiences found funny, from his own brilliant mimes to the power of speaking irreverently about politics or explicitly about sex. He began to understand the craft of great storytelling. Soon the songs became shorter and the monologues longer, and Billy quickly became recognised as one of the most exciting comedians of his generation.
Billy's routines always felt spontaneous. He never wrote scripts, always creating his comedy freshly on stage in the presence of a live audience. A brilliant comic story might be subsequently discarded, adapted or embellished. A quick observation or short anecdote one night, could become a twenty-minute segment by the next night of a tour.
Billy always brought a beautiful sense of the absurd to his shows as he riffed on his family, hecklers, swimming in the North Sea or naked bungee jumping. But his comedy can be laced with anger too. He hates pretentiousness and calls out hypocrisy wherever he sees it. His insights about the human condition have shocked many people, while his unique talent and startling appearance on stage gave him license to say anything he damn well pleased about sex, politics or religion.
Billy got away with it because he has always had the popular touch. His comedy spans generations and different social tribes in a way that few others have ever managed.
MY THOUGHTS: I bought this book from a small independent bookstore in Russell, northern New Zealand, when we were up there on holiday over the 2019/20 Christmas/New Year period.
I love Billy Connolly and was lucky enough to see him live last time he toured New Zealand. I came out of his show with my mascara all down my face, and my sides ached for days.
Billy writes exactly as he talks, so I could hear him as I was reading. Some of the stories were familiar to me, some were new. All were entertaining. No one escapes his attention. Not his wife, daughters, friends, workmates, or the scone loving, brogue, twinset and heather coloured tweed wearing elderly ladies of Scotland.
If you're a Billy Connolly fan, or simply need a good laugh, this is the book you need. It has joined The World of Pooh: The Complete Winnie-The-Pooh and the House at Pooh Corner by A.A. Milne as my all time favourites. They are never put away on a shelf, but instead are always somewhere close at hand where I can pick one up and while away a few minutes, or hours.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
THE AUTHOR: William "Billy" Connolly, Jr., CBE is a Scottish comedian, musician, presenter and actor. He is sometimes known, especially in his native Scotland, by the nickname The Big Yin (The Big One). His first trade, in the early 1960s, was as a welder (specifically a boilermaker) in the Glasgow shipyards, but he gave it up towards the end of the decade to pursue a career as a folk singer in the Humblebums and subsequently as a soloist. In the early 1970s he made the transition from folk-singer with a comedic persona to fully-fledged comedian, a role in which he continues. He also became an actor.
It is as a stand-up comedian that Connolly is best known. His observational comedy is idiosyncratic and often off-the-cuff. He has outraged certain sectors of audiences, critics and the media with his free use of the word "fuck". He has made jokes relating to masturbation, blasphemy, defecation, flatulence, haemorrhoids, sex, his father's illness, his aunts' cruelty and, in the latter stages of his career, old age (specifically his experiences of growing old). In 2007 and again in 2010, he was voted the greatest stand-up comic on Channel 4's 100 Greatest Stand-Ups.
Connolly has been married to comedian and psychologist Pamela Stephenson since 1989. In the book Billy, and in a December 2008 online interview, Connolly states he was sexually abused by his father between the ages of 10 and 15. He believes this was a result of the Catholic Church not allowing his father to divorce after his mother left the family. Due to this, Connolly has a "deep distrust and dislike of the Catholic church and any other organization that brainwashes people". In a 1999 interview with "The Sunday Herald" Connolly condemned the SNP as "racist" and the new Scottish parliament as a "joke".
In November 1998, Connolly was the subject of a two-hour retrospective entitled Billy Connolly: Erect for 30 Years, which included tributes from Judi Dench, Sean Connery, Whoopi Goldberg, Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, and Eddie Izzard.
DISCLOSURE: I own my copy of Tall Tales and Wee Stories written by Billy Connolly and published by Two Roads. All opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own personal opinions.
For an explanation of my rating system please refer to my Goodreads.com profile page or the about page on sandysbookaday.wordpress.com
This review and others are also published on Twitter, Instagram and my webpage https://sandysbookaday.wordpress.com/...
March 24, 2020
I'm a big fan of Billy Connolly, as a comedian, a storyteller and just generally as an all round interesting good bloke who is great to listen to. But this book did not do a lot for me, except make me reflect what a great performer he is.
The book made me think of scientific reductionism - that tendency of some scientists to break a problem into tiny parts and see the solution in terms of those tiny parts instead of retaining some holistic vision. For Billy Connolly is more than the sum of his parts. If you read these stories without any idea who Billy Connolly was, I suspect you would find them neither terribly interesting nor amusing. In fact, I was surprised how comically thin many of these tall tales and wee stories were. And yet some of them I think I can actually remember him telling and laughing at.
I think this comes down to the fact that he is overall a brilliant performer. And to understand this brilliance you need to hear his voice, see his face, sense his energy levels when he was performing, - and so on. The words written down on paper just don't do it for me on their own - but if you add him back into them, they will.
There were a few bits which were either slightly amusing or interesting, but slim pickings from a 320 or so pages long book. My advice, give this a miss. He has written other stuff - I'd say go for that.
The book made me think of scientific reductionism - that tendency of some scientists to break a problem into tiny parts and see the solution in terms of those tiny parts instead of retaining some holistic vision. For Billy Connolly is more than the sum of his parts. If you read these stories without any idea who Billy Connolly was, I suspect you would find them neither terribly interesting nor amusing. In fact, I was surprised how comically thin many of these tall tales and wee stories were. And yet some of them I think I can actually remember him telling and laughing at.
I think this comes down to the fact that he is overall a brilliant performer. And to understand this brilliance you need to hear his voice, see his face, sense his energy levels when he was performing, - and so on. The words written down on paper just don't do it for me on their own - but if you add him back into them, they will.
There were a few bits which were either slightly amusing or interesting, but slim pickings from a 320 or so pages long book. My advice, give this a miss. He has written other stuff - I'd say go for that.
February 6, 2021
Rude, lead and crude, with quite a bit of profanity thrown in, but entertaining nonetheless. I've never watched his stand up routines, but became aquatinted with this comedian by watching PBS. If you've watched his stand up you may already have heard some of the tales in this book. From his growing up in a tenament in Glasgow to his Catholic schooling, there are incidents that left me laughing. I sent to Catholic school, and could identify even if we were schooled county's apart.
His travels and opinions of other countries, I particularly liked his explanation on why the Swiss yodeled. Too funny! Some of course fell flat, the nature of the heart where comedy is concerned, but there is plenty within for one to find comedic gems. Like I said though, he does not mince nor minimize his words, opinions, profanity at all.
A much welcomed comedic break.
His travels and opinions of other countries, I particularly liked his explanation on why the Swiss yodeled. Too funny! Some of course fell flat, the nature of the heart where comedy is concerned, but there is plenty within for one to find comedic gems. Like I said though, he does not mince nor minimize his words, opinions, profanity at all.
A much welcomed comedic break.
November 2, 2022
I've always identified with Billy Connolly because I grew up in the same city as him, so I totally get his humour and patter.
These are brilliant wee stories that you can pick up and put down when it suits you.
Most of the stories I all ready knew about from his stand up but it was good to read it, it cheered me up.
Obviously reading these stories aren't better than watching him because it's not got the tone and mannerisms etc.
A fun, funny read though!
These are brilliant wee stories that you can pick up and put down when it suits you.
Most of the stories I all ready knew about from his stand up but it was good to read it, it cheered me up.
Obviously reading these stories aren't better than watching him because it's not got the tone and mannerisms etc.
A fun, funny read though!
November 17, 2019
Over the years I've seen Billy Connolly's numerous stand up routines on TV, but I've always regretted not seeing him live on stage. To make up for this in a small way I treated myself to a signed copy of this brilliantly entertaining book.
Connolly has put together his best "tall tales & wee stories" from a lifetime of stand up comedy. There are a few stories here that are new to me, but even the routines I know well still made me laugh out loud.
The stories all flow beautifully & so many of them are classics it's impossible to choose any favourites. A great collection of tales from a real legend.
Connolly has put together his best "tall tales & wee stories" from a lifetime of stand up comedy. There are a few stories here that are new to me, but even the routines I know well still made me laugh out loud.
The stories all flow beautifully & so many of them are classics it's impossible to choose any favourites. A great collection of tales from a real legend.
September 16, 2023
One of the reasons I love Billy Connelly’s stories is that he tells them just like I do myself - only funny. Unnecessary background, side tracks, lost threads, missed points, picked up threads, another side story, completely unrelated facts about characters in the story, oh and look - there’s the punchline!
I was wondering a little if there could be something in what some reviewers said that these would work less well in written form, but that went out the window at the end of the second sentence and by the end of the second paragraph I was huffing and puffing and laughing out loud. Can honestly not remember when a book made me do that last time.
The missing star is mainly because I felt the book lost pace towards the end and the last few chapters would actually have been better to leave out. Billy (as I expected) also veers a tad close to slapstick and/or toilet humour at times. It’s a great read though and very strong four stars.
I was wondering a little if there could be something in what some reviewers said that these would work less well in written form, but that went out the window at the end of the second sentence and by the end of the second paragraph I was huffing and puffing and laughing out loud. Can honestly not remember when a book made me do that last time.
The missing star is mainly because I felt the book lost pace towards the end and the last few chapters would actually have been better to leave out. Billy (as I expected) also veers a tad close to slapstick and/or toilet humour at times. It’s a great read though and very strong four stars.
September 27, 2020
I love Billy Connolly having seen him live two or three times and watched all his television programmes including the excellent 'World Tour' series in England, Scotland, Australia and New Zealand. I also have a few of the live DVDs.
So I was looking forward to this book. It is a let down. If, like me, you have seen all the above then you will know the majority of the tall tales and wee stories he tells here. There are some I have not heard before though but that does not really make up for it. It is a dip in-and-out book for sure.
He says that when you read the book you will hear him and that is so true. Who is this book aimed at? I am not really sure. For Connolly fans it is going over old ground. For someone that does not know him I would say get the 'World Tour' DVDs.
So I was looking forward to this book. It is a let down. If, like me, you have seen all the above then you will know the majority of the tall tales and wee stories he tells here. There are some I have not heard before though but that does not really make up for it. It is a dip in-and-out book for sure.
He says that when you read the book you will hear him and that is so true. Who is this book aimed at? I am not really sure. For Connolly fans it is going over old ground. For someone that does not know him I would say get the 'World Tour' DVDs.
January 24, 2022
I have been a fan of Billy Connolly for as long as I can remember and sadly never took the opportunity to go and see him live before he retired in 2018. I have seen many of his recorded performances though and I think all of his travelogues as he has been around various parts of the world.
This book is a collection of some of his best-known stories that he tells as part of his sets. He is a very human comedian, he is as happy to rip the piss out of himself as he is to call out the hypocrisy of others whilst giving you a stitch laughing about it so much.
Some of the tall tales and wee stories in here I have heard before. That doesn’t make them any less funny though. One of my favourites was his description of swimming in the North Sea as a Child! Provided you don’t mind a bit (ok a lot) of profanity then there is almost certainly something in here that will make you laugh. Great stuff and thanks for all the laughs, Billy.
This book is a collection of some of his best-known stories that he tells as part of his sets. He is a very human comedian, he is as happy to rip the piss out of himself as he is to call out the hypocrisy of others whilst giving you a stitch laughing about it so much.
Some of the tall tales and wee stories in here I have heard before. That doesn’t make them any less funny though. One of my favourites was his description of swimming in the North Sea as a Child! Provided you don’t mind a bit (ok a lot) of profanity then there is almost certainly something in here that will make you laugh. Great stuff and thanks for all the laughs, Billy.
November 14, 2019
Tall Tales and Wee Stories: The Best of Billy Connolly
Billy Connolly, is one of those comedians who everybody knows and loves, his innate honesty and sharp wit, have had audiences in stitches for five decades. I read this on the bus on the way to and from work and was giggling all the way there and back. The drivers must have thought I'd lost by mind. Highlights include a trip to Births Deaths and Marriages and a chapter on why multiple orgasms have put tremendous pressure on men and women have no idea. This book is typical Billy and I loved every word of it.
Billy Connolly, is one of those comedians who everybody knows and loves, his innate honesty and sharp wit, have had audiences in stitches for five decades. I read this on the bus on the way to and from work and was giggling all the way there and back. The drivers must have thought I'd lost by mind. Highlights include a trip to Births Deaths and Marriages and a chapter on why multiple orgasms have put tremendous pressure on men and women have no idea. This book is typical Billy and I loved every word of it.
March 29, 2020
Good fun running through transcripts of a lot of the better routines (and some that don't translate very well, falling flat on the page, the absence of the performer of a text never so keenly felt). The ultimate realisation is that Connolly was an even better stage presence than imagined to have elevated some of this way beyond its merit. Ultimately, great spending time with that voice again.
July 17, 2021
Ach, sorry Billy. This book just isn't that funny. Perhaps my expectations were too high.
Connelly starts this book by conceding that he is no longer well enough to stand in front of an audience for over two hours. He is very open about living with Parkinson's Disease but he is also now 78 years old.
He was always a very physical comedian; his act was slapstick in many ways with a lot of the humour arising from his gestures and facial expressions. It doesn't translate on to the page especially well. It is indeed a book of 'wee stories' - an there's a gey lot o' them.
This is something to dip into from time to time for a wee smile rather than to read in one go.
Connelly starts this book by conceding that he is no longer well enough to stand in front of an audience for over two hours. He is very open about living with Parkinson's Disease but he is also now 78 years old.
He was always a very physical comedian; his act was slapstick in many ways with a lot of the humour arising from his gestures and facial expressions. It doesn't translate on to the page especially well. It is indeed a book of 'wee stories' - an there's a gey lot o' them.
This is something to dip into from time to time for a wee smile rather than to read in one go.
October 1, 2025
Sir William Connolly is a national treasure and deservedly so.
A welder turned folk singer turned comedian Billy is much loved in the UK for his rambling monologues, which showcase an extraordinary life and comedic genius. This book sets out many of his famous routines in prose, not word for word, rather describing the tales and situations underneath the tall tales.
I rarely laugh out loud when reading but this had me going in places. Well worth a read.
A welder turned folk singer turned comedian Billy is much loved in the UK for his rambling monologues, which showcase an extraordinary life and comedic genius. This book sets out many of his famous routines in prose, not word for word, rather describing the tales and situations underneath the tall tales.
I rarely laugh out loud when reading but this had me going in places. Well worth a read.
January 4, 2020
What makes the inhabitants of Glasgow so eternally fascinating! Here, Billy Connolly gives insight through his tenement childhood through his life, told in short vignettes, some laugh-out-loud hilarious. In fact, his secret to enjoying life without fail is to be sure not to lose your ability to laugh. At times curmudgeonly, at times kind, often very raw and profane, but always honest, and with that wee twinkle.
Full disclosure - I never had the pleasure of seeing Sir Connolly's standup in person. In fact, I first became aware of him through his portrayal in the film Mrs. Brown, and didn't realize acting was only one of his skills, and not the one he was best known for.
Full disclosure - I never had the pleasure of seeing Sir Connolly's standup in person. In fact, I first became aware of him through his portrayal in the film Mrs. Brown, and didn't realize acting was only one of his skills, and not the one he was best known for.
February 7, 2020
CYNICAL, HALF-HEARTED RECYCLED CASH IN!
Imagine one of your favourite bands or singers who had been recording music for around half a century, decided to put those songs in book form without any hint of the music at all. You would rightly be confused by the move. Beyond the cash generating aspect, what would be the point?...Well that is basically what Connolly has done here.
The main problem with this book is that almost all of it has appeared in at least one, sometimes two previous books and a lot of his stand up. It really feels a bit cheeky and lazy when we are getting the exact same stories dragged out for two books in a row?...Surely the readership deserves some quality control?...instead of recycling the same old stories again and again.
Of course this has its funny moments now and then, but the truth is that too many of these stories do not translate well onto the page at all. I’ve heard many of them on his stand up stuff and it is delivered a lot better, so much of it is lost when committed to the page, all the drama, nuance and volume stripped away it can feel incredibly dull and disappointing.
On the positive side, this is a quick read and it’s an easy read, but overall there is a good reason why Connolly has not published too many books in his half century involved in the creative and performing arts. Some of these are really awful and not only fall flat but fail miserably and really don’t do the great man justice at all.
October 19, 2019
All my favourite stories in written form. Billy Connolly has such a special place in my heart and I always get really emotional talking about him but this one made me laugh rather than cry. I had tears running down my face reading my favourite skits I was laughing that much. It took me five minutes to read one bloody paragraph about the knitted balaclava because I was hysterically laughing. They are just as funny in written form as they are on stage. Love you big yin!
February 1, 2020
I saw Billy on stage a few years ago and I laughed until it hurt. I think seeing him live definitely helped while reading the book, as I could imagine him strutting round the stage telling his tall tales and wee stories. He's written the book exactly the way he talks, swear words and all.
April 6, 2020
I t had me laughing out loud! Thank you Billy.
February 20, 2021
I’ve been a massive Billy Connolly fan for many years. I’ve got lots of DVDs featuring his standup and travelogues, and I was lucky enough to see him live twice. He never fails to make me laugh, even just on a chat show. So it was with great sadness I heard about his retirement, although entirely understandable in his circumstances.
I was looking forward to reading this book in which he has gathered many of his most famous stories for posterity. Billy never really told ‘jokes,’ they were always funny anecdotes and tales, often poking fun at himself or other absurdities he saw in every day life. He often talked about sex and bodily functions, and was very sweary and he makes no apology for that, so the book would not be for anyone who did not like this in his live shows because Billy is exactly the same in the book as when performing. If you did love his humour though, you will find many of your favourite stories within these pages.
The book is split in to chapters on different, loosely connected topics, but otherwise it is fairly randomly organised with just little anecdotes and longer ones interspersed with comments, thoughts and musings on his life and career. Some people won’t like it because it isn’t a particular linear format, but then Billy’s comedy was never like that. He would start on a topic and then wander off at a tangent when other things occurred to him before looping back round to the original story (or sometimes not!), so the book is a good reflection of his style and really brought him to life for me.
I could hear his voice telling these familiar, and some unfamiliar, stories very clearly. Parts of it made me laugh out loud and I had to keep stopping to read bits aloud to The Irishman who kept asking me what I was laughing at. It was a book that really cheered me up during this lockdown. However, it is not the same as watching Billy perform, and you realise how much his expressions and gestures and movements added to the comedy of his story-telling. The ‘Wildebeest’ example illustrates this best. It is many people’s favourite story of Billy’s, but it just isn’t as funny when you can’t see him doing the vacant expression of the wildebeest and the actions of the lions as they plan their attack.
Overall, I really enjoyed reading this but it can’t replace Billy’s performances, and I for one will miss him terribly. I wish I could have met him in real life just once before Parkinson’s started to take effect. I’m sure it would have been great craic.
I was looking forward to reading this book in which he has gathered many of his most famous stories for posterity. Billy never really told ‘jokes,’ they were always funny anecdotes and tales, often poking fun at himself or other absurdities he saw in every day life. He often talked about sex and bodily functions, and was very sweary and he makes no apology for that, so the book would not be for anyone who did not like this in his live shows because Billy is exactly the same in the book as when performing. If you did love his humour though, you will find many of your favourite stories within these pages.
The book is split in to chapters on different, loosely connected topics, but otherwise it is fairly randomly organised with just little anecdotes and longer ones interspersed with comments, thoughts and musings on his life and career. Some people won’t like it because it isn’t a particular linear format, but then Billy’s comedy was never like that. He would start on a topic and then wander off at a tangent when other things occurred to him before looping back round to the original story (or sometimes not!), so the book is a good reflection of his style and really brought him to life for me.
I could hear his voice telling these familiar, and some unfamiliar, stories very clearly. Parts of it made me laugh out loud and I had to keep stopping to read bits aloud to The Irishman who kept asking me what I was laughing at. It was a book that really cheered me up during this lockdown. However, it is not the same as watching Billy perform, and you realise how much his expressions and gestures and movements added to the comedy of his story-telling. The ‘Wildebeest’ example illustrates this best. It is many people’s favourite story of Billy’s, but it just isn’t as funny when you can’t see him doing the vacant expression of the wildebeest and the actions of the lions as they plan their attack.
Overall, I really enjoyed reading this but it can’t replace Billy’s performances, and I for one will miss him terribly. I wish I could have met him in real life just once before Parkinson’s started to take effect. I’m sure it would have been great craic.
March 15, 2023
Tall tales and wee stories is exactly what it says on the tin. Hilarious short stories from Billy Connolly’s life, adventures and stories he’s heard along the way! It very funny, as you imagine it would be as it’s written by a comedian! There is plenty of swearing in this read but honestly although it’s not nice swearing its human. We just come out with it and that’s what I love about this read! I’ve got a few favourite stories but these probably the stories that stood out to me the most… Breakfast in bed, I couldn’t stop laughing at that one, Ibiza was another one I was heavily laughing at. Funny, heartfelt at times and just a great read! I don’t want to give anything away but if you like Billy you’ll like this!!
4 STARS!!
4 STARS!!
August 22, 2020
Ah Billy Connolly is just such an icon. His comedy is timeless and classic. I have loved watching his stand up over the years on TV and once had tickets to see him live - which I so regret not being able to use. This book is a collection of small stories from his life, some we've heard before, some new. I found myself reading it in my head using his voice and I think this made it so much funnier. Please read this if you are a fan. Even if you aren't, you will probably enjoy it nonetheless.
https://thebeautifulbookbreak.com
https://thebeautifulbookbreak.com
January 18, 2020
Now that Billy has retired from stand up comedy, he’s finally been persuaded to write down some of his more well known stories. I was reading this and I had his voice in my head, and I was having to stifle laughter when reading this not to wake anyone up. Very funny stories and a great read.
July 30, 2021
Found myself peeing myself laughing at this one. I love Billy Connolly and this was just the ticket for a lockdown read to dip in and out of. I could visualise him delivering the lines and could hear his voice. I defy you not to grin like an idiot when reading this. LOVED IT!
February 20, 2021
So, if you're likely to be offended by the swearing, you may as well fuck off now.
This is pure Billy. But it's one-dimensional.
If watching Billy is like eating a delicious 3-course meal, then reading this book is like looking at the menu.
This is pure Billy. But it's one-dimensional.
If watching Billy is like eating a delicious 3-course meal, then reading this book is like looking at the menu.
November 3, 2024
I've had this book in the car for 4yrs and have dipped into while waiting it was perfect as one of the stories was usually all I read he is a comedic genuis and will be missed it certainly made me laugh
December 23, 2024
quite a few old favourites from his stage performances - not quite as funny on the page compared with his live act delivery but still a laugh out loud set of tales
February 13, 2022
“…and laugh. Always look to laugh. Nothing else will ever keep you going like laughter.”
No surprise but I laughed out loud the whole way through.
No surprise but I laughed out loud the whole way through.
June 2, 2020
I don't like giving this book just one star as it's nicely produced and well edited, but it's actually a bit of a cheat.
What I mean by this is that all it is a collection of Billy's stand-up routines, all of which are hilarious when he delivers them on stage but they fall flat on the page. There are a few great stories but most of them are anything but; the fact that I knew most of them wasn't the problem as I can listen to him on YouTube indefinitely (in fact, I would take an audio recordings of his comedy onto my desert island).
If only the publisher's had had the courage to be honest it could have made for a much better book; they could have had a preface by the editor who transcribed the material with a related commentary; or, if Billy actually did this mundane task himself, surely he'd say something about it in the intro. I've transcribed audio material before and it's really hard work, as is the editing that has to then follow.
There's no clue on the cover or front matter about who did the dirty work but in the acknowledgements the first name to get a thank you (and his own sentence) is Nick Davies. Who is Nick Davies? I will ask Google right now ... it turns out he's a bigshot editor who's worked for some of the main London publishing houses. I assume he's too high and mighty to have done this transcribing task himself (maybe Billy actually did it?. Maybe one of his household minions?)
What I do know is that publishers will sell their own mother to get their hands on a book by a celebrity of Billy's stature, as it's like making a sequel of a popular film -- there's a ready-made audience ready to buy it however indifferent its quality may be.
This is what Nick Davies said in The Bookseller's puff piece about the book:
“As his many millions of fans will know, Billy’s stories can be rude, warm-hearted, anarchic, joyful, angry, far-fetched, down-to-earth and everything in between. They are also beautifully constructed, brilliantly paced and deeply funny. I’ve written to Billy at various points over the last 15 years to ask if he would bring these stories to the printed page and I’m thrilled that he has finally agreed. Tall Tales is an absolute treat of a book that will delight readers everywhere.”
In conclusion, it's important to get Billy's jokes in book form -- particularly for people like me of a Scottish persuasion. But I would have appreciated a description of how the book came together and who was the poor sod who did the actual work.
What I mean by this is that all it is a collection of Billy's stand-up routines, all of which are hilarious when he delivers them on stage but they fall flat on the page. There are a few great stories but most of them are anything but; the fact that I knew most of them wasn't the problem as I can listen to him on YouTube indefinitely (in fact, I would take an audio recordings of his comedy onto my desert island).
If only the publisher's had had the courage to be honest it could have made for a much better book; they could have had a preface by the editor who transcribed the material with a related commentary; or, if Billy actually did this mundane task himself, surely he'd say something about it in the intro. I've transcribed audio material before and it's really hard work, as is the editing that has to then follow.
There's no clue on the cover or front matter about who did the dirty work but in the acknowledgements the first name to get a thank you (and his own sentence) is Nick Davies. Who is Nick Davies? I will ask Google right now ... it turns out he's a bigshot editor who's worked for some of the main London publishing houses. I assume he's too high and mighty to have done this transcribing task himself (maybe Billy actually did it?. Maybe one of his household minions?)
What I do know is that publishers will sell their own mother to get their hands on a book by a celebrity of Billy's stature, as it's like making a sequel of a popular film -- there's a ready-made audience ready to buy it however indifferent its quality may be.
This is what Nick Davies said in The Bookseller's puff piece about the book:
“As his many millions of fans will know, Billy’s stories can be rude, warm-hearted, anarchic, joyful, angry, far-fetched, down-to-earth and everything in between. They are also beautifully constructed, brilliantly paced and deeply funny. I’ve written to Billy at various points over the last 15 years to ask if he would bring these stories to the printed page and I’m thrilled that he has finally agreed. Tall Tales is an absolute treat of a book that will delight readers everywhere.”
In conclusion, it's important to get Billy's jokes in book form -- particularly for people like me of a Scottish persuasion. But I would have appreciated a description of how the book came together and who was the poor sod who did the actual work.
October 4, 2025
I wasn't expecting this but: Beautiful. All of my years of language learning and cultural immersion culminate by being able to understand Connolly's humor and I am fully satisfied.
October 30, 2019
I love Billy Connolly! Always have, always will. First came to know of him whilst growing up outside Glasgow and my mum not allowing me to watch him on TV or listen to him on radio. And of course, being forbidden made me secretly seek him out.
My first time seeing him on stage was in Bournemouth in the early 80s and some of the audience walking out!! He actually addressed me a couple of times cos he told some jokes that Glaswegians (or near enough) would REALLY get, so I was in hysterics and pretty obvious.
Last time was in 2016 on his High Horse tour where the effects of Parkinson's was obvious, mostly because he pointed them out and made jokes about them!
So having this book is great if you're a fan of the man and his legendary comedy. I've also watched him on TV interviews, his Audience With shows, listened to radio interviews, watched his movies (he's also a terrific actor) so many of the stories/anecdotes, I've heard before. Some remembered more than others and some I'd forgotten, but the way he writes them, you can visualise him performing it and hear his voice saying it, and they were just as funny as the first time I'd heard them .... and some even moreso. He really is a fabulous raconteur and, as he says himself, he's not really a joke teller as such, just shares his brilliant observations of and opinions on life, love, sex, rules, "beige", acting, his childhood and much, much more. It's been a while since any book made me laugh out loud (even whilst in bed reading at stupid o'clock in the morning when I didn't want to put it down)!
A really easy, hilarious read. I'd give it a 4.5 out of 5.
My first time seeing him on stage was in Bournemouth in the early 80s and some of the audience walking out!! He actually addressed me a couple of times cos he told some jokes that Glaswegians (or near enough) would REALLY get, so I was in hysterics and pretty obvious.
Last time was in 2016 on his High Horse tour where the effects of Parkinson's was obvious, mostly because he pointed them out and made jokes about them!
So having this book is great if you're a fan of the man and his legendary comedy. I've also watched him on TV interviews, his Audience With shows, listened to radio interviews, watched his movies (he's also a terrific actor) so many of the stories/anecdotes, I've heard before. Some remembered more than others and some I'd forgotten, but the way he writes them, you can visualise him performing it and hear his voice saying it, and they were just as funny as the first time I'd heard them .... and some even moreso. He really is a fabulous raconteur and, as he says himself, he's not really a joke teller as such, just shares his brilliant observations of and opinions on life, love, sex, rules, "beige", acting, his childhood and much, much more. It's been a while since any book made me laugh out loud (even whilst in bed reading at stupid o'clock in the morning when I didn't want to put it down)!
A really easy, hilarious read. I'd give it a 4.5 out of 5.
October 27, 2019
I grew up listening to Billy, I remember hearing the jobby weecher and the Crucifixion on records my elder brother would play while I was still in short trousers. He's been a part of my life for that long, and now he's retiring from the stage. But it's not all bad news, for he leaves us this, a collection of all his best stories, but written down. Given how much I've heard from him, anything I read, I hear in his voice, which when you include the sex noises is a little weird. He's the finest comedian Scotland has ever produced, this shows why.
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