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Out of Touch

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A powerful tale of betrayal and abandonment from a stunning new voice. When a brother and sister receive a letter from the father they haven't seen in twenty years, they must confront long-buried tensions in ways that will change them for ever.

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A man hit Ava with his car, a few miles from her bungalow. He brings her flowers in hospital, and offers to do her laundry. He also brings her the letter she dropped that night on the road.

In New York, Ava's brother Michael receives the same letter. He thinks about it as he steps out of the shower into his curtainless bedroom. A naked woman stares at him from the apartment across. They both laugh and cover up with their arms.

Brother and sister cannot avoid the letter: their estranged father is dying and wants to meet. Can they forgive their father, and face each other after all these years apart? Will new unexpected friends offer the advice and comfort they need?

With sharp wit and sensitivity, Out of Touch is a deeply absorbing story about love and vulnerability, sex and power, and the unbreakable bonds of family.

320 pages, Hardcover

First published April 2, 2020

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Haleh Agar

1 book10 followers

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5 stars
42 (19%)
4 stars
83 (38%)
3 stars
78 (35%)
2 stars
12 (5%)
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3 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 44 reviews
1 review
April 11, 2020
I loved this book. It is so finely drawn and nuanced, never overblown or overwrought. Agar skilfully invites the reader into the worlds of Ava and Michael, never pushing a point but whispering with almost painfully poignant details at times. This is an incredible debut.
Profile Image for Gem ~.
968 reviews46 followers
March 10, 2020
Stunning writing and so eloquently explores nuances of families, conflict and love.
Full review to follow
Profile Image for Vivienne.
115 reviews2 followers
April 12, 2020
Ava and her brother Michael are opposites and out of touch; both received an unexpected and unwelcome letter from their estranged father saying he is dying and would like to meet up with them. What follows is the woven tale of who they are now, their lives, sometimes ordinary, sometimes messy with interjections of their painful pasts.
What I liked was how the author introduced and developed the characters, how their inner thoughts sometimes conflicted with their reactions to situations as well as interspersed suggestions of theirs being a dysfunctional upbringing.
I also liked the theme of addressing conflict within a family, of being a parent versus one's own upbringing and whether there is a place for forgiveness; however, I felt the storyline was disjointed and as it jumped from one event to another I was left asking how some of these trivial observations and side stories enhanced the storyline, character development and flow.
Profile Image for Violet.
989 reviews54 followers
July 16, 2020
Very moving novel about two siblings - one in north England, one in New York - who receive a letter from their dying father who wants to see them after being estranged for years. It's full of memories of their parents' relationship, their alcoholic mum, the guilt of not being there for her and the resentment of having to look after her... Relationships, children... At times it reminded me of some books by Anne Tyler, the focus on family, the psychology, the details. I found it really moving, and beautifully written. I would read other novels by Haleh Agar.

(Free copy from NetGalley)
Profile Image for Meggy Chocolate'n'Waffles.
547 reviews110 followers
April 2, 2020
A sister. A brother. A father. A letter.
If there are as many families are there are m&ms in their factories, Out of Touch drew me in instantly by the sheer force of its authentic, painful, and constantly-evolving take on relationships.
Let’s rewind a little.

Haleh Agar wins the best first encounter with a main protagonist. When we meet Ava, she’s on the ground, having just been hit by a car. Yet, this is not a dark and grisly scene with body parts bent at weird angles and blood everywhere. No, it’s a painful but weirdly odd and fun – and absolutely genius – key moment in Ava’s life that marks the beginning of something the reader can’t fully understand yet…

Michael, on the other side of the Atlantic, is in a room full of people who wants to share their stories. If he appeared detached from the crowd, his attendance to those events where strangers talk about their life and its issues told me that consciously or not, Michael was looking for answers. My feeling was reinforced when he walked back home to his wife and little son.

Ava and Michael’s lives are polar opposite in appearance, but both siblings have more in common than they think. Their different ways of trying to cope with what childhood left them gave me a clear understanding of their personalities and the author made sure I could relate to parts of their stories, connect to their doubts and feelings, and most of all, care for them.

Unhappiness is a natural part of being alive.

A letter from their father is the big ripple that comes to disturb their days. It is clear that Ava and Michael have suffered from the absence of their dad and a rocky growing-up with their mother. I think only a lucky few can honestly say they’ve had the best childhood, no matter how much our parents have loved us. Haleh Agar’s family tale rings so true that anyone can connect to the story. Laced with a sharp wit and the intricate ways of love, Out of Touch felt familiar throughout, as if it was made of tiny bits from all of us in the world. Crazy but so true, and even more powerful for it.

It comforted him, how dysfunctional the families were in most of the myths: fathers eating their children, children slaying their parents and mothers throwing their sons down mountaintops.


Do you forgive? Do you forget? Can you move on? Parenthood is no easy path and parents are flawed. Children learn and make mistakes, no matter their age. Is there a right way to mend family bonds?
Ava, Michael, and their father haven’t seen each other in years. How do you cross the frail bridge built by a letter?
We are not talking about a ‘hey, how are you?’ missive. No, their father Lee has sent a bomb. He is dying, and he wants to see his children. My personal experience had me conflicted at this, and I love the way the author has handled Ava and Michael’s reactions. A last chance at being a family triggers choices, reopens wounds, and ultimately puts everyone in an uncomfortable seat. In this novel, no one is perfect, but in the end, they all need a nudge to reach the next step in their life. I loved watching them face the shadows of their past. Not everything gets tied up nicely, because nothing in family ever gets this chance. However, with a magnificent sensitivity, Haleh Agar paints an eloquent family portrait.


Profile Image for Jo Shaw.
523 reviews35 followers
April 6, 2020
Out of Touch by Haleh Agah is an eloquently written look at family dynamics, and how individual family members address both physical and emotional pain within a dysfunctional family. The story begins with a bang as we find Ava lying on the ground after being hit by a car. She had been distracted by a letter she had received from her estranged father who wanted to reconnect with her. The book alternates between Ava’s story, and that of her estranged brother Michael, who had similarly received a letter.

Both siblings have been affected by events that took place in their childhoods, and although they both perceive their childhoods as having been different to one another, the reality is that their experiences were very similar. Ava feels that her life has been taken away from her as she was expected to look after her mother from an early age, and finds herself still stuck in the same rut months after her mother’s untimely death. Michael spends his time worrying about his marriage and his role as parent to his son Jacob, because he does not want to repeat the same mistakes that his father made in raising him.

Receiving similar letters from their dying father prompt both siblings to review their own lives, with the assistance of people who enter their lives along the way. I particularly warmed to the friendship that Ava began with Sam, the younger man who hit her with his car, and the way in which he looked out for her and helped as much as she would allow him to do. Although both siblings were reluctant to renew their relationships with their father, they found that opening up to the possibilities made changes to their lives in many ways.

This book was both moving and challenging for me, because I found myself empathising with the siblings, but also struggled to understand some of the choices they made along the way. Seeing them learn from their mistakes rounded the story off perfectly for me, and I found that I really enjoyed the journey this book took me on.
223 reviews2 followers
April 12, 2020
This is a stunning first novel, set in the British town of Welton, where the focus is on Ava, and New York - where the story concentrates on Michael, Ava's estranged brother.

Agar alternates the chapters. Ava's start with her being hit by a car - the drive, a teenager called Sam, becomes a friend and helps her see through the dark days that follow, driving her to appointments, taking her to London to see her terminally ill father who hasn't been in her life for years. Ava's life in her dreary bungalow (where she has lived along since her mother was killed in a car crash on the M1 motorway the year before) was derailed even more when Sam hit her. However, it also opened up opportunities for her, namely meeting younger people - and having sex with someone which she needed and wanted.

New York chapters focus on Michael, his wife Layla and son Jacob. Seemingly, he has been cut off from the family for a long while: he didn't go to his mother's funeral and when he got married, he only gave his mother and Ava three weeks' notice. Clearly, from his early days in New York, where he went to university, things have been strained and this doesn't resolve quickly.

Agar deals with the complexities of family relationships here but also temptation - such as when Michael has a one-night stand with Sarah, a British artist who is staying in the apartment opposite his - and Ava sleeping with Sam, over 10 years her junior. But Out of Touch is about so much more: the decisions we are forced to make; the long-running implications of our actions; not knowing what we want or how to get it. This is a human story for our modern times and Agar is very adept at transplanting readers into the lives of the two siblings: they're thousands of miles apart but dealing with the same things at the same time.

I loved Out of Touch - I hope you do, too.
Profile Image for Naza.
97 reviews9 followers
April 5, 2020
From the publisher.

A man hit Ava with his car, a few miles from her bungalow. He brings her flowers in hospital, and offers to do her laundry. He also brings her the letter she dropped that night on the road.
In New York, Ava's brother Michael receives the same letter. He thinks about it as he steps out of the shower into his curtainless bedroom. A naked woman stares at him from the apartment across. They both laugh and cover up with their arms.
Brother and sister cannot avoid the letter: their estranged father is dying and wants to meet. Can they forgive their father, and face each other after all these years apart? Will new unexpected friends offer the advice and comfort they need?



My review.
A beautiful and intense family portrait described by multiple facets.

I loved the descriptive writing style of the author as I could see myself catapulted into the lives of the two main characters,Michael and Ava.
All the different nuances of love,betrayal,loss and family bonds are represented in such a vivid yet touching way and I was completely absorbed by this brilliant story.
When it comes to family,the dynamics and the relationships are often so complicated; Haleh has been able to portray them in a simple yet authentic way.

A powerful and gripping debut.Bravo!

Thanks to Haleh Agar and to W&NBooks & Orion Books for the ARC of this book in exchange of my honest opinion.
Profile Image for Yousra.
43 reviews
July 10, 2020
I would have finished Out of Touch quicker if I hadn’t had such a busy week at work! This beautiful debut is the tale of a brother and sister - Michael, who lives in New York, and Ava, who lives in a town near Sheffield - who lead completely separate lives after Michael decides not to return to the UK after graduating from university in America. A letter from their estranged father who is dying requesting to see them one last time means they may have to face each other again and address the distance between them, both figuratively and physically. That’s all I’ll say about the storyline!

I thoroughly enjoyed this book and Haleh’s eye for detail. The nuanced way in which she throws in minute details is one of unique features of this novel, as is her precision in storytelling. She is a highly talented author. I liked that the focus of the book is sibling dynamics (dysfunctional dynamics at that) as well as sexual relationships that are not clear-cut in nature. The main focus is the sibling relationship while narratives about love/sexual relationships happen along the sidelines of the main storyline. I loved the diversity in the characters’ ethnicities. While the novel addresses difficult themes such as separation, loss and grief, there is something about the way in which Haleh writes that makes the story heartwarming and a feel-good book too. A thumbs-up from me!
Profile Image for Alyson.
656 reviews18 followers
April 23, 2020
I was torn between giving this books a three or a four star review. This is because by the end of the story I had become involved with it but I found it very slow to get going, and rather disjointed as many reviewers have already said.
The tale is told from two different view points: Ava and her brother Michael. It begins as Ava is involved in a car accident - a sharp reminder of the death of her mother in a different car accident a year previously. Through these connections we are carried along in Ava's life as she becomes involved with the man who's car hit her and reconnected with her brother after many years apart. We learn of her father's philanderings, her mother's drinking, her own with-drawl from society and Michael's rejection of the family. How they reconnect and come to terms with their differences is the nub of the plot.
I didn't warm to either Ava or Michael as characters which was a big distraction when reading it. However I was keen to find out what happened.
7 reviews
February 10, 2022
usually am not one to write reviews but this book was something else. for the first time, i even began writing thoughts and things i observed in my journal because the writing was so clever. the way haleh agar drew many parallels throughout the entire story - between michael and his father, sarah and the person she is writing in her class; and how she depicted ava as someone who was very realistic, the way she had a hard time dealing with people that leaves, and another parallel to her mother. they were all just beautiful writing. the story was slightly slow at the beginning, but by the time it reaches halfway, things really pick up and i found myself not being able to put it down. definitely one of the more mature books i've read, but a very refreshing but intimate way of portraying adult relationships, older family relationships and everyday life things. could have been very mundane and dry, but the writing got me hooked. enjoyed this, very much.
Profile Image for Hannah Persaud.
Author 3 books11 followers
February 17, 2021
Brave and honest, this is a compulsive and hard hitting read with tenderness rippled through.

Following the parallel stories of brother and sister Michael and Ava, this novel skilfully depicts their current fractured lives whilst delving back into the causes of their estrangement. As they fail to emotionally connect with the world around them, their mistakes play out in vivid slow motion. This novel is unapologetic for their actions, for their occasional cruelty and for the harm that they inflict on others. Michael and Ava are not only struggling to reconcile their own relationship but also their relationship with the world.

Examining identity, forgiveness and reconciliation, this is a compulsive and thoughtful page turner and I whole heartedly recommend it.

Profile Image for Alex Cadoux.
14 reviews
March 29, 2020
So this book tells the story of Ava and Michael siblings who grew up with unconventional and often warring parents. As adults they are estranged from each other and from their father. There mother having died recently. Their father gets in contact when he discovers he is dying and wants to see them.
I felt like the story was a bit disjointed. Ava has her life and her story and Michael has his life and his story and it didn’t particularly flow for me. I would have liked to have had more from them as a family and less of the sideline stories which took up too much space for me.
I have given it 3 ⭐️ ⭐️⭐️
Profile Image for Fiona Mitchell.
Author 4 books83 followers
July 26, 2020
This is a calm and nuanced story about family estrangement told from two points of view - Ava in England and her brother Michael in America. There is nothing frantic here, the novel unwinds patiently and believably. We see Michael battling mistakes of the past and then making a seemingly unforgivable new one. And after being hit by a car, Ava, though wheelchair-bound, starts to forge a new future for herself, but will there be room in it for the brother who she hasn’t seen for many years? Understated, beautiful writing that digs deep into its characters, this literary novel completely absorbed me. An impressive debut.
Profile Image for Lucy Mitchell.
Author 5 books51 followers
April 20, 2020
One of my favourite books of 2020. For a few days I was totally immersed in Ava and Michael’s world. This story of a dysfunctional family was totally captivating and in places so deep. I couldn’t believe this was a debut as it was so good. Both Ava and Michael were brilliant characters. Both flawed and both needing to face their own issues before being able to piece back their family relationship. This was one of the few books where I didn’t question the actions of characters as everything made sense. This author should keep writing fabulous books like this one!
6 reviews
May 8, 2020
This is a beautifully and carefully written story of two siblings and their journey to reconnect. It’s intimate and honest.... and after reading it I think the advertisement blurb isn’t right at all. It’s better than that...

Their story is not totally thriller family drama of dark secrets (well, I didn’t take it that way) and it’s not extreme either - But the story of their story is perfectly pitched and lovingly almost subtly executed. There are welcome surprises and together it actually makes perfect sense.
Profile Image for Pgchuis.
2,405 reviews40 followers
June 19, 2022
This was beautifully written, but peopled with unlikeable characters. I'm also not sure what the point of the story was meant to be. Ava and Michael are estranged from each other and from their now dying father, and the novel explores how this came about, but by the end I wasn't sure anything had really been resolved or learnt explained. It was interesting reading about Ava's prolonged recovery from her car accident.

I hope this author goes on to write more novels, but puts some more relatable characters in them.
Profile Image for Bethan Botterill.
16 reviews
May 9, 2025
I’m not sure how this book has above a 3* rating as nothing really happens. It feels like a lot of things almost happen but then the author moves on to something else. There’s a lot of side plots that don’t really add anything to the story.

I counted at least three grammatical errors and spelling mistakes in my copy. I don’t mind one, but three just feels like lazy editing.

It’s an easy read but I definitely wouldn’t recommend it for anything more than a pool-side read if you have nothing else to hand.
64 reviews
April 4, 2020
I found this book really absorbing, so much so that I finished it within a few hours of receiving it! The story explores some complex family dynamics while remaining very readable and enjoyable. I particularly warmed to Ava and I found her relationship with Sam really heart-warming. Without giving too much away, I felt that the author wrapped up the story perfectly and the ending felt very satisfying. 4.5 stars.
1 review
July 27, 2020
We chose this book for our book club and it threw up some interesting chat about what the role of a child is, the role of parents, and whether it’s justified to punish your family by absenting yourself from family life. We also chatted about the way behaviour is passed down through generations and how people break free from that. Really enjoyable read, very vivid and full of character, and a great one to discuss. Look forward to more from this author!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Heather Barnett.
Author 2 books25 followers
July 31, 2020
Out of Touch is a thoughtful, funny, honest novel about the messiness of lives in the real world and how our family shapes us, for better or worse. I loved the writing style, which was very much to get out of the way of the story - at no point did an over-written phrase or unnecessary metaphor break the flow. I loved getting to know the characters, who felt real to me, and was I carried along by the story. This is an accomplished, enjoyable read.
3 reviews
April 11, 2020
I thought this book was truly awesome! I was hooked from start to finish. Haleh Agar has created characters rich in depth and personality. You really grow to care deeply for them throughout the book.

It is very easy to relate to the story of family, heartbreak, emotion and complex relationships. I will be telling everyone to read this book!

Can’t wait for more from this author!
Profile Image for K.
235 reviews1 follower
May 11, 2020
Beautiful
I couldn't put this down. It sunk its tentacles into me from the first sentence. The characters are well developed, complicated and real; the situations they find themselves in awkward and oh so very human. The end was both moving and quietly satisfying. Kudos to Agar, a very fine debut! I shall eagerly await future titles...
Profile Image for Jennifer Harvey.
Author 11 books21 followers
August 25, 2020
A tender and honest examination of the conflicts which can pull families apart and the events which bind us even when we are separated. The dual storylines were deftly woven together and the small behavioural observations provide intimate insights into the protaganists and the pain which has shaped them and continues to determine their actions.

An intelligent and fascinating debut.
Profile Image for Jane Lomas.
29 reviews1 follower
October 29, 2020
Haleh Agar paints a perfect picture of a broken family and the road back to reconciliation.

All the characters were heartbreakingly believable and Haleh showed them, warts and all. My heart ached for Ava, trying to keep it all together, and for this dysfunctional family who lost so much.

This book gave me much to think about and I think it will stay with me for a long time.
1 review
March 31, 2021
In Haleh Agar’s debut novel, siblings embarks on a journey of self-discovery with surprising results. So much relatable material, I loved every page! It made me reach out and mend a broken relationship- thank you a thousand times. I felt such a strong connection with the characters. This book displays both heart-wrecking and heartwarming sincerity. This author is definitely one to watch.
Profile Image for Emma.
101 reviews4 followers
May 10, 2020
I really enjoyed this book and I wasn't expecting to. It is beautifully written but not in a boring/flowery way. It deals with relationships with partners and family wonderfully and I found that I didn't want it to end.
1 review
May 13, 2020
OUT OF TOUCH by Haleh Agar is an honest and pleasant look into the life of an imperfect family; a family we can all relate to. I could not put this book down. This is a must read. Add it to your book club lists. You will love it!
Profile Image for Mandy.
33 reviews1 follower
February 28, 2022
This book is well written and engaging. I struggled the first few chapters because I was not engaged with the characters. As the book progresses, I started to engage a bit more and enjoy the book.

It’s a good read, although not a light one.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 44 reviews

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