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Pizza, Pincushions and Playing it Straight
If you’ve ever wanted to know what it’s like as a sex worker, or how the words “dick cheese” can be used in perfect, horrifying context, then this is a book for you. Surprising. Insightful. Don't drink liquids while reading. This is not a “Happy Hooker” story. This is a “Hooker who is sick of your bullshit” story.
306 pages, ebook
Published February 2, 2020
39 people are currently reading
789 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 113 reviews
February 27, 2020
I've been following the brilliant facebook page Insufferably Intolerant Science Nerd for some time. The author is a working scientist and is active in the support of good science (climate change science, vaccines), and also a promoter of interesting and amusing science articles from all over as well as being an outspoken feminist who is also a lesbian.
In 2019 she revealed on her facebook page that during her university years she had worked as a prostitute in an Australian brothel, and she published a series of vignettes of her time in that profession. They were sometimes funny, weird, horrifying, touching and always fascinating. Her comments overflowed with requests to write a book about it. And here we are.
This is an amazing, well-researched and referenced book (hundreds of references) that looks at sex work both in terms of what the work day life of a brothel worker is, and what it means to provide this sort of service, and what it means to work in a profession with this sort of social stigma. As part of the discussion, the author reflects on sex, gender roles, patriarchy, politics, criminalization/legalization of the work and provides a great deal of insight. Or as she refers to it on her facebook page: the world's longest rant.
It's also full of "Interlubes" breaking between chapters which include many of the vignettes that started off the exercise in the first place.
One minor issue shared with a lot of self-published work is a few problems with missing, extra and incorrect words. A less minor issue is the absolutely terrible formatting of the ebook. All I can say is it's well worth pushing through the terrible formatting to get to the content.
In 2019 she revealed on her facebook page that during her university years she had worked as a prostitute in an Australian brothel, and she published a series of vignettes of her time in that profession. They were sometimes funny, weird, horrifying, touching and always fascinating. Her comments overflowed with requests to write a book about it. And here we are.
This is an amazing, well-researched and referenced book (hundreds of references) that looks at sex work both in terms of what the work day life of a brothel worker is, and what it means to provide this sort of service, and what it means to work in a profession with this sort of social stigma. As part of the discussion, the author reflects on sex, gender roles, patriarchy, politics, criminalization/legalization of the work and provides a great deal of insight. Or as she refers to it on her facebook page: the world's longest rant.
It's also full of "Interlubes" breaking between chapters which include many of the vignettes that started off the exercise in the first place.
One minor issue shared with a lot of self-published work is a few problems with missing, extra and incorrect words. A less minor issue is the absolutely terrible formatting of the ebook. All I can say is it's well worth pushing through the terrible formatting to get to the content.
February 11, 2020
I've been a big fan of Rayne's Facebook page (Insufferably Intolerant Science Nerd) for many moons, and I remember when the first couple of posts came out with short snippets of Rayne's previous life as a sex worker.
These brief sentences were entertaining and heartbreaking in equal measure. Sure, everyone loves a good lube joke, but what about the guy who breaks down crying because he's lost his wife? After a few anecdotes of drippy lube and stupid customer requests, that guy's story hits you like a 12 inch dildo wielded by an amateur strap-on enthusiast. That is to say, it rather abruptly rams you in a place you really weren't expecting it to reach.
I was expecting the book to be much the same. Fun stories, sad stories, stories about burgers (NO PICKLES!) or KFC. Maybe expounded (heh) on a little bit to add some weight to the book.
What I read instead was a book about sex work, our society as a whole in relation to aforementioned sex work/workers, and how solely lacking sex education can be (especially for LGBTQIA* youth). Of course, the stories were still there (as 'Interlubes', which is hilarious. #punsrule), however Rayne has used this platform to provide, at least in my opinion, an honest look at topics that many people simply glance at before turning up their noses.
And she does it with snark, honesty, and an overarching mood of 'For f*ck's sake, use a flared base!'.
These brief sentences were entertaining and heartbreaking in equal measure. Sure, everyone loves a good lube joke, but what about the guy who breaks down crying because he's lost his wife? After a few anecdotes of drippy lube and stupid customer requests, that guy's story hits you like a 12 inch dildo wielded by an amateur strap-on enthusiast. That is to say, it rather abruptly rams you in a place you really weren't expecting it to reach.
I was expecting the book to be much the same. Fun stories, sad stories, stories about burgers (NO PICKLES!) or KFC. Maybe expounded (heh) on a little bit to add some weight to the book.
What I read instead was a book about sex work, our society as a whole in relation to aforementioned sex work/workers, and how solely lacking sex education can be (especially for LGBTQIA* youth). Of course, the stories were still there (as 'Interlubes', which is hilarious. #punsrule), however Rayne has used this platform to provide, at least in my opinion, an honest look at topics that many people simply glance at before turning up their noses.
And she does it with snark, honesty, and an overarching mood of 'For f*ck's sake, use a flared base!'.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 20, 2022
I've been a fan of the Insufferably Intolerant Science Nerd's facebook page for some time and always find her posts (aka rants) insightful, interesting and hilarious, combining both well-researched science with inclusive/intersectional feminism. So i was excited to read this book and learn more about the sex industry from someone who not obly has personal experience, but also who i trust to have done real research and have the very best interests of women, and sex workers in general, in mind. And it didn't disappoint! This book is a no holds barred (yet all holes bared ;p) insight into her experiences as a sex worker, combined with essential information and education on sex worker rights and how to keep workers respected and safe. I've learnt a lot with this book, while laughing aloud regularly, and would highly recommend it to everyone!
May 8, 2020
This review was originally posted on The Moonlight Library
This will be a brief review since it is for a genre I don't normally review.
Pizza, Pincushions and Playing it Straight is not suitable for young adults UNLESS they are already sexually active, or thinking that they might soon be.
This is because the subject matter is about the author's time as a legal brothel prostitute in Australia whilst also being gay, and how she balanced having sex with strangers for money.
I have been a fan of the Insufferably Intolerant Science Nerd on Facebook for some time, and when she started posting little vignettes of her ex clients, everyone kept clamouring for a book. Well, we got one.
Constantine fills the pages with data and details about the perks and plight of sex workers not only across Australia, but across the world, showcasing the subject in a frank and honest manner. Some of the essays read quite defensibly, but also impart a wealth of information and education on sex work itself. The vignettes (or 'interlubes' as they are titled) are fun or poignant bookends for every chapter. Sometimes the essays can get a bit intense or long, so I found the vignettes are a good way to reward a reader. Constantine also reflects on sexuality, sex experience, and how working at a brothel helped her to become a sexually confident, especially around consent. I found those parts particularly interesting to read.
To be completely honest, the book could do with a pass at an editor, especially around the vignette scenes where dialogue is concerned, but this hasn't affected my rating since Constantine published this book herself after the demands of her many followers on Facebook, and at several points also made the book free to download. Keeping in mind that Constantine never set out to write a book but did so anyway, and with the education and the entertainment in this book, I think it would be a good read for many people.
You can purchase the book at https://pizza-and-pincushions.myshopi...
This will be a brief review since it is for a genre I don't normally review.
Pizza, Pincushions and Playing it Straight is not suitable for young adults UNLESS they are already sexually active, or thinking that they might soon be.
This is because the subject matter is about the author's time as a legal brothel prostitute in Australia whilst also being gay, and how she balanced having sex with strangers for money.
I have been a fan of the Insufferably Intolerant Science Nerd on Facebook for some time, and when she started posting little vignettes of her ex clients, everyone kept clamouring for a book. Well, we got one.
Constantine fills the pages with data and details about the perks and plight of sex workers not only across Australia, but across the world, showcasing the subject in a frank and honest manner. Some of the essays read quite defensibly, but also impart a wealth of information and education on sex work itself. The vignettes (or 'interlubes' as they are titled) are fun or poignant bookends for every chapter. Sometimes the essays can get a bit intense or long, so I found the vignettes are a good way to reward a reader. Constantine also reflects on sexuality, sex experience, and how working at a brothel helped her to become a sexually confident, especially around consent. I found those parts particularly interesting to read.
To be completely honest, the book could do with a pass at an editor, especially around the vignette scenes where dialogue is concerned, but this hasn't affected my rating since Constantine published this book herself after the demands of her many followers on Facebook, and at several points also made the book free to download. Keeping in mind that Constantine never set out to write a book but did so anyway, and with the education and the entertainment in this book, I think it would be a good read for many people.
You can purchase the book at https://pizza-and-pincushions.myshopi...
April 27, 2023
Bluntly honest best sums this up. The book recounts the experience in general and specific events of the author while she worked as a sex worker in a brothel in a conversational tone. It steadily moves on to discuss the broader issues of the sex work industry, the challenges sex workers face and the lacklustre, harmful way that our societies treat anything related to sex, both for men and women. In fact, there are probably more words in this one book about having healthy sexual experiences and relationships than most people are exposed to during their first 20 years of life.
Interspersed throughout are short slices-of-life of the author's experiences with her clients and co-workers; vignettes which are alternatingly funny, sad, informative, touching but all add a human dimension to an industry whose workers and clients are so frequently unfairly maligned and 'otherised' as perverts, infantile victims, low-lifes and worse.
The last chapters deal with the different ways countries deal with the sex work industry such as partial/full criminalisation, decriminalisation etc. Well-referenced and to the point, the failings of all criminalisation models are described, including those of the Nordic Model, and it is the sex workers who bear the cost of the measures which others claim are 'for their own good'. As always, it is a reminder that when crafting legalisation relating to marginalised groups, one ought to listen carefully to the needs, concerns and wants of these groups. Something that is obvious, but is oftentimes forgotten or maliciously, deliberately ignored.
Interspersed throughout are short slices-of-life of the author's experiences with her clients and co-workers; vignettes which are alternatingly funny, sad, informative, touching but all add a human dimension to an industry whose workers and clients are so frequently unfairly maligned and 'otherised' as perverts, infantile victims, low-lifes and worse.
The last chapters deal with the different ways countries deal with the sex work industry such as partial/full criminalisation, decriminalisation etc. Well-referenced and to the point, the failings of all criminalisation models are described, including those of the Nordic Model, and it is the sex workers who bear the cost of the measures which others claim are 'for their own good'. As always, it is a reminder that when crafting legalisation relating to marginalised groups, one ought to listen carefully to the needs, concerns and wants of these groups. Something that is obvious, but is oftentimes forgotten or maliciously, deliberately ignored.
September 6, 2020
Yesterday, I started reading "Pizza, Pincushions, and Playing it Straight." I finished it less than 24 hours later. On the surface, it's a memoir by a woman who worked in a brothel. I thought it would be interesting to read about the exploits of a sex worker, and it was. I also thought there would be some funny stories, and there were a ton. But what I didn't expect was one of the greatest, most educational, most entertaining, and most enlightening books I'd ever read.
This book deals with consent, and confidence, and sex, and gender, and a million other topics that are related to sex work and sexuality, but they're discussed in a way that makes them approachable, understandable, and makes them seem so... easy.
My only regret about this book is that I wasn't able to buy and read it (redacted) years ago when I was 18 and still trying to figure out sex, relationships, my body, and who I was going to be. Many of the lessons in the book are ones I have learned over the years, but they are also lessons I usually learned the hard way. This resource, at a young age, would have been invaluable to me and my education about myself and my relationships (sexual and non-sexual) with others.
Seriously, buy this book. It doesn't matter whether you're an 18 year old nerdy virgin (like i was), an 80 year old widow, whether you've been married for thirty years, whether you're gay or straight or somewhere in between, whether you're in a relationship or not..... This book is important.
This book deals with consent, and confidence, and sex, and gender, and a million other topics that are related to sex work and sexuality, but they're discussed in a way that makes them approachable, understandable, and makes them seem so... easy.
My only regret about this book is that I wasn't able to buy and read it (redacted) years ago when I was 18 and still trying to figure out sex, relationships, my body, and who I was going to be. Many of the lessons in the book are ones I have learned over the years, but they are also lessons I usually learned the hard way. This resource, at a young age, would have been invaluable to me and my education about myself and my relationships (sexual and non-sexual) with others.
Seriously, buy this book. It doesn't matter whether you're an 18 year old nerdy virgin (like i was), an 80 year old widow, whether you've been married for thirty years, whether you're gay or straight or somewhere in between, whether you're in a relationship or not..... This book is important.
May 30, 2020
There are funny parts.
There are howlingly funny parts.
There are sections which are not funny at all, and rightly so.
And there are sections which will probably make you a bit angry and a bit more educated.
There are howlingly funny parts.
There are sections which are not funny at all, and rightly so.
And there are sections which will probably make you a bit angry and a bit more educated.
September 20, 2020
This book certainly challenged a lot of my preconceived notions about sex workers. I live in a country where it is mostly illegal and viewed with a sort of blanket distrust that anyone can actually choose this career path, so to speak, without being traumatized, attacked, or victimized. I personally am on board with legalization so that workers can have workplace protections and safety standards, the same as any profession. Actually reading a memoir about this was very interesting. I read it because I follow the author’s science page on Facebook, The Insufferingly Intolerant Science Nerd.
February 11, 2020
A frank, hilarious and incredibly insightful book about society and sex.
January 26, 2021
I'm so appreciative of this book, but struggling with how to best capture this in words. As a person who loves science and reason, I always appreciate Rayne's considered approach to explaining things. As a person who gets easily fed up with others (but was overly trained into BS "politeness,") I also appreciate Rayne's willingness to explain those concepts with both multisyllabic science terms, and also four letter sentence enhancers.
As a person who loves hearing other people's stories, I was interested to learn about this small slice of Rayne's live (though I want to know the rest, I will happily listen to extended rants about everything else too Rayne!). As a proud social justice warrior and advocate for healthier and clearer discussions about sex, I was excited to read such a clear-eyed, unfiltered account of her life as a sex worker. As a therapist, I was also struck by the similarities between so many professions in which there is a professional reserve, a focus on the needs of another person for a defined period of time, and an energetic cost for the person providing that focus. But perhaps most of all I appreciated the empathy for all employees, and the clear explanation of the importance of ALL labor rights, and of the world getting their collective panties out of a wad and assuming that anything that relates to sex is somehow categorically different from all of the things that it is actually like. As someone who works with the kink community this is my pet peeve - some people can be great at communication about sex, consider it essential, but then don't talk about their other wants and needs...GRRR.
But this is about Rayne's rants, which I loved. You should read this book. You should read it if you are interested in labor rights. You should read it if you are interested in thinking about how sexual shaming is making everyone DUMBER. You should read it if you are interested in considering how criminalizing things actually results in LESS safety, not more. And you should read it if you are a fan of witty banter peppered with citations and a reference list a mile long. I am a huge fan of that last - SUPER HOT, from one science nerd to another!
As a person who loves hearing other people's stories, I was interested to learn about this small slice of Rayne's live (though I want to know the rest, I will happily listen to extended rants about everything else too Rayne!). As a proud social justice warrior and advocate for healthier and clearer discussions about sex, I was excited to read such a clear-eyed, unfiltered account of her life as a sex worker. As a therapist, I was also struck by the similarities between so many professions in which there is a professional reserve, a focus on the needs of another person for a defined period of time, and an energetic cost for the person providing that focus. But perhaps most of all I appreciated the empathy for all employees, and the clear explanation of the importance of ALL labor rights, and of the world getting their collective panties out of a wad and assuming that anything that relates to sex is somehow categorically different from all of the things that it is actually like. As someone who works with the kink community this is my pet peeve - some people can be great at communication about sex, consider it essential, but then don't talk about their other wants and needs...GRRR.
But this is about Rayne's rants, which I loved. You should read this book. You should read it if you are interested in labor rights. You should read it if you are interested in thinking about how sexual shaming is making everyone DUMBER. You should read it if you are interested in considering how criminalizing things actually results in LESS safety, not more. And you should read it if you are a fan of witty banter peppered with citations and a reference list a mile long. I am a huge fan of that last - SUPER HOT, from one science nerd to another!
April 17, 2020
This is a great and insightful book. It’s concise in its message and brilliantly written (some editing needed but the points are still easy to understand), so very human and the respectful and validating language used towards the LGBTQI community and trans people in particular warms my heart.
The commentary on sex work in society is important, and I find it especially insightful being written from the experiences within an Australian context (whilst touching on the circumstances of sex work globally). It comes across as very frank and realistic and I was engaged thoroughly throughout. It's a topic I regrettably haven't come across before; in particular, the discussion of decriminalisation vs legalisation is something I now feel the need to look into further.
I'm really glad that this book was written and will hopefully continue to help educate and encourage change for the better.
The commentary on sex work in society is important, and I find it especially insightful being written from the experiences within an Australian context (whilst touching on the circumstances of sex work globally). It comes across as very frank and realistic and I was engaged thoroughly throughout. It's a topic I regrettably haven't come across before; in particular, the discussion of decriminalisation vs legalisation is something I now feel the need to look into further.
I'm really glad that this book was written and will hopefully continue to help educate and encourage change for the better.
July 2, 2022
This didn’t feel like a book about sex work – it was about human decency; treating people with respect; setting, enforcing and respecting boundaries; workplace safety and the importance of unions; understanding the nuances of consent; the damaging nature of gender stereotypes; body image and customer service and sales.
Memorable Quotes
Memorable Quotes
"Consent is also important, and something that should not be confused with enthusiastic consent. Consent means that I am simply willing to participate. It tells me nothing about a person’s desire to participate, nor how comfortable they are doing so. Enthusiastic consent means that I am both willing and wanting to participate, and completely comfortable with what is going to happen."
"To be clear: just because you are paid, doesn’t mean the client owns you."
"Consent is much more complicated than just saying "Yes," and is not conditional on the whims of whoever is paying."
"Sex work is only exploitative in the minds of people who think paying for a service means they have free rein to treat the service provider however they want."
"Capitalism is exploitive. Sex work is labour."
"Confidence does not come from the ability to say "No," it comes from the understanding that saying "No" is okay."
"Sex work is what happens when sales and marketing meet customer service, with different sex acts being the tools used to provide that service."
"Being confident is understanding that you are as good as everyone else. It isn’t the absence of insecurity, it’s the knowledge that you have worth despite them."
"Some people are more invested in protecting their daughters from the men they allow their sons to grow up to be, than actually finding a solution that prevents harm to everyone."
"Our cultural acceptance of toxic masculinity and shaming of healthy masculinity perpetuates not only a culture where men cannot seek help, but one that actively ensures the continual cycle of male entitlement, a lack of accountability for their actions, and expressions of violence. "Boys will be boys" is a poisonous pill that everyone has swallowed. No one is exempt from this. "Boys will be boys" is not only uttered by men but also mothers, and we do a disservice to us all by ignoring this fact."
"Because remember kids, our value as women is still measured by how many people have been inside us."
April 12, 2020
This book made me laugh out loud more times than I could count. It moved me in my core. It made me so deeply aware of the importance of sex work in society in a way I had never heard before. It is well written, well referenced and incredibly informative about the sex and prostitution industry and I would recommend this book to every single person on earth, above 18!
October 26, 2020
I questioned myself as I ordered the much anticipated paperback version even though I had already purchased but not read the ebook. Why would someone need 2 copies of the same book?
Eh, ebooks just aren't my thing so I ordered the paperback anyway.
Enter COVID-19 the pandemic, the quarantine and the people suck ass world. In an attempt to restore my mental health, I booked a week long vacation in a rustic cabin during the off season on an island with no wi-fi, no tv, crappy weather and a partner who said "I don't what kind of book I would even like to read since it's been so long since I actually read a book". Bazinga, guess what? I have just the book for us to read . . .
And there began our joint journey into the world of a sex worker.
The book is both highly entertaining and extremely educational, while invoking a wide range of emotional responses. While we both agree that sex work should be legal in the US, that doesn't mean that we still didn't hold on to some naivete and hesitation about this particular career choice. You challenged our unconscious biases that we still hold of sex workers. You educated us about the ins and outs of current legislations regarding sex work from around the globe. You forced us outside of our comfortable boxes of "it's not for me but you do you" and made us look at things from other perspectives. All the while still providing entertaining tidbits that support your educational topics.
Growing up in an extremely conservative evangelical home, I can relate to where the author was coming from in her own life. I grew up being taught sex is dirty, women shouldn't want sex much less enjoy it, and sexuality must be hidden at all costs. I grew up believing that I was responsible for a man not being able to control himself sexually. I grew up believing that if I went somewhere alone with a boy/man I was consenting to whatever he wanted to do. True consent much less enthusiastic consent? Non existent, you were supposed to do whatever you had to do to make sure that the man in your life is sexually satisfied so he doesn't have to visit one of those dirty, disease, and drug ridden prostitutes. If he cheats, it's the woman's fault. While my confidence has improved, it has taken me decades to unlearn these ideals. They still haunt me today.
The biggest "in your face challenge" was facing my thoughts of "sex workers need to be rescued". That sex workers are broken, mentally ill, being exploited, being trafficked, are drug addicts, are in need of being saved, have been sexually abused as kids, need to find Jesus. That if they had the choice, they wouldn't do it. That if they had any self worth, they would choose a different job. While in some cases this may be true, in other cases it's just a job like the rest of us have and some really enjoy doing this job {gasping while clutching thy pearls thinking that if I had been raised in Australia I just might have enjoyed becoming a sex worker}.
If there is one take away that everyone should agree to after reading this book is, sex work is a job. Someone has to do it. So, why don't we make those who do it safe while doing it. Period.
This book should be given to everyone to read for their 18th birthday. I would say, they should be given it at age 14 when ideals regarding sex are still being formed, but I see mobs of pearl clutchers condemning me to hell for even thinking of tainting the purity of their precious children.
Now back to us. A personal thank you to Rayne for providing a medium that opened up communication that had slowly closed over the course of a decade between my partner and myself. Life gets busy. Relationships get put on the back burner. Wants, desires, and needs change over time. Facing a soon to be empty nest, which is something we've never had at the start of our relationship, reading this book brought back a much needed sense of who we are as a couple and where we want to go from here. Again thank you.
My partner gives your book the highest accolades of "I was entertained. I was educated. It was thought provoking. All in the same book." It really doesn't get any better than this. Trust me.
For me, the citations and footnotes, while they annoyed my partner, made me a little wet . . .
I could say so much more but I've already driveled on more than I should have. I'm looking forward to a sequel!
Eh, ebooks just aren't my thing so I ordered the paperback anyway.
Enter COVID-19 the pandemic, the quarantine and the people suck ass world. In an attempt to restore my mental health, I booked a week long vacation in a rustic cabin during the off season on an island with no wi-fi, no tv, crappy weather and a partner who said "I don't what kind of book I would even like to read since it's been so long since I actually read a book". Bazinga, guess what? I have just the book for us to read . . .
And there began our joint journey into the world of a sex worker.
The book is both highly entertaining and extremely educational, while invoking a wide range of emotional responses. While we both agree that sex work should be legal in the US, that doesn't mean that we still didn't hold on to some naivete and hesitation about this particular career choice. You challenged our unconscious biases that we still hold of sex workers. You educated us about the ins and outs of current legislations regarding sex work from around the globe. You forced us outside of our comfortable boxes of "it's not for me but you do you" and made us look at things from other perspectives. All the while still providing entertaining tidbits that support your educational topics.
Growing up in an extremely conservative evangelical home, I can relate to where the author was coming from in her own life. I grew up being taught sex is dirty, women shouldn't want sex much less enjoy it, and sexuality must be hidden at all costs. I grew up believing that I was responsible for a man not being able to control himself sexually. I grew up believing that if I went somewhere alone with a boy/man I was consenting to whatever he wanted to do. True consent much less enthusiastic consent? Non existent, you were supposed to do whatever you had to do to make sure that the man in your life is sexually satisfied so he doesn't have to visit one of those dirty, disease, and drug ridden prostitutes. If he cheats, it's the woman's fault. While my confidence has improved, it has taken me decades to unlearn these ideals. They still haunt me today.
The biggest "in your face challenge" was facing my thoughts of "sex workers need to be rescued". That sex workers are broken, mentally ill, being exploited, being trafficked, are drug addicts, are in need of being saved, have been sexually abused as kids, need to find Jesus. That if they had the choice, they wouldn't do it. That if they had any self worth, they would choose a different job. While in some cases this may be true, in other cases it's just a job like the rest of us have and some really enjoy doing this job {gasping while clutching thy pearls thinking that if I had been raised in Australia I just might have enjoyed becoming a sex worker}.
If there is one take away that everyone should agree to after reading this book is, sex work is a job. Someone has to do it. So, why don't we make those who do it safe while doing it. Period.
This book should be given to everyone to read for their 18th birthday. I would say, they should be given it at age 14 when ideals regarding sex are still being formed, but I see mobs of pearl clutchers condemning me to hell for even thinking of tainting the purity of their precious children.
Now back to us. A personal thank you to Rayne for providing a medium that opened up communication that had slowly closed over the course of a decade between my partner and myself. Life gets busy. Relationships get put on the back burner. Wants, desires, and needs change over time. Facing a soon to be empty nest, which is something we've never had at the start of our relationship, reading this book brought back a much needed sense of who we are as a couple and where we want to go from here. Again thank you.
My partner gives your book the highest accolades of "I was entertained. I was educated. It was thought provoking. All in the same book." It really doesn't get any better than this. Trust me.
For me, the citations and footnotes, while they annoyed my partner, made me a little wet . . .
I could say so much more but I've already driveled on more than I should have. I'm looking forward to a sequel!
May 7, 2022
This book is not good for your soul.
December 2, 2022
It should be mentioned that this is written by a transwoman. It’s important to get the full perspective of the writer when they are writing about themselves.
February 21, 2022
I did enjoy Rayne's book, but it seemed a bit unbalanced. Starting with the good:
It's incredibly informative and she took the time to research a lot of (comparative) legislation not only from Australia, but from the US as well as from other countries - serving as good case practices, bad case practices or "origin stories", to showcase how some other measures came to be based on a given context. The "Interlubes" are entertaining and give enough to maybe quench the thirst of a curious mind (I know she mentioned that many people were asking for spicy stories), but stop before giving away details that might be too intimate.
It's interesting to read about the experience of a professional from the field told from their own point of view - no filters or secondary interpretations - as well as finding out about some of the safety procedures that exist in a country where prostitution is legal and about the many hats a professional wears besides giver/receiver of sexual pleasures (so many more hats).
Where things broke a bit for me: although the whole book (also) has an educational purpose, the last two chapters change the tone completely, and then the last chapter finishes, classically, with some more interlubes. I do believe the topics reached here are incredibly important and maybe I might've emphasised them a bit more? Like "Part x(xx) (hehe) - Legislation's impact on the sex industry" or some other such thing. The chapter before last doesn't have the classical end, the last one does (and again, given the topic, one of these choices seems a bit off in my opinion). And then... it's just done! I read it as an e-book and the end comes at about 82%, following with references and footnotes; this made the end even more unexpected. I think a final chapter would have been in order - an epilogue, some conclusions, some final jokes, something... something to give it a finality.
It's incredibly informative and she took the time to research a lot of (comparative) legislation not only from Australia, but from the US as well as from other countries - serving as good case practices, bad case practices or "origin stories", to showcase how some other measures came to be based on a given context. The "Interlubes" are entertaining and give enough to maybe quench the thirst of a curious mind (I know she mentioned that many people were asking for spicy stories), but stop before giving away details that might be too intimate.
It's interesting to read about the experience of a professional from the field told from their own point of view - no filters or secondary interpretations - as well as finding out about some of the safety procedures that exist in a country where prostitution is legal and about the many hats a professional wears besides giver/receiver of sexual pleasures (so many more hats).
Where things broke a bit for me: although the whole book (also) has an educational purpose, the last two chapters change the tone completely, and then the last chapter finishes, classically, with some more interlubes. I do believe the topics reached here are incredibly important and maybe I might've emphasised them a bit more? Like "Part x(xx) (hehe) - Legislation's impact on the sex industry" or some other such thing. The chapter before last doesn't have the classical end, the last one does (and again, given the topic, one of these choices seems a bit off in my opinion). And then... it's just done! I read it as an e-book and the end comes at about 82%, following with references and footnotes; this made the end even more unexpected. I think a final chapter would have been in order - an epilogue, some conclusions, some final jokes, something... something to give it a finality.
April 10, 2020
I came across this book as it is penned by the rather fabulous Insufferably Intolerant Science Nerd on facebook, a page I have followed for some time now. Prior to writing the book, Rayne Constantine shared little snippets of her experiences as a sex worker, a profession she worked in while studying, and I had found them so interesting.
This book takes things a little bit further, as it really delves into the sociopolitical factors surrounding sex work, looking at everything from the legalities of the profession through to the very real need for the profession. Some of the stories she shared of clients actually made me cry, the validation that they themselves got from their time with her.
And of course there were some decent laughs as well. Because there is one thing that Rayne Constantine is, and that is a very dry, witty writer.
It is a self published book, and that shows in the flow of some parts of the book. Like many self published novels, you can see where a strong editor would weave their magic, however, this does not detract from the novel overall.
For many, this could be a confronting read, if not solely because of the fact that Rayne holds her head high and stares you down, refusing to allow you to get away with the belief that sex workers are abused/drug addicts/victims/less than. Alongside that, there is her complete freedom around sex, sexuality, and all that might be part of such a discussion. However, it is an excellent look at an industry that is often only used to provide cast off victims in police procedural or rags to riches type stories, and raises some incredibly important points around safety and protection of an industry that should be taken more seriously than it is.
This book takes things a little bit further, as it really delves into the sociopolitical factors surrounding sex work, looking at everything from the legalities of the profession through to the very real need for the profession. Some of the stories she shared of clients actually made me cry, the validation that they themselves got from their time with her.
And of course there were some decent laughs as well. Because there is one thing that Rayne Constantine is, and that is a very dry, witty writer.
It is a self published book, and that shows in the flow of some parts of the book. Like many self published novels, you can see where a strong editor would weave their magic, however, this does not detract from the novel overall.
For many, this could be a confronting read, if not solely because of the fact that Rayne holds her head high and stares you down, refusing to allow you to get away with the belief that sex workers are abused/drug addicts/victims/less than. Alongside that, there is her complete freedom around sex, sexuality, and all that might be part of such a discussion. However, it is an excellent look at an industry that is often only used to provide cast off victims in police procedural or rags to riches type stories, and raises some incredibly important points around safety and protection of an industry that should be taken more seriously than it is.
November 25, 2020
While the grammar isn't the greatest, the subject matter is great. This book has been a roller coaster of ups and downs through the authors experience of being a sex worker; not to push people away from the idea, but to give a full view of it. I love that Rayne discusses how repressed our society is about sexual positivity and the way she describes her journey through discovering her own skewed views while trying to learn and grow to be a more sexually positive individual. I feel enlightened knowing so much more about how brothels and their clients can function and how the role of a sex worker is so much more than just putting our for cold, hard cash. Having worked in the cam industry, myself, it was such a relief to see something out there depicting the type of work as something that people shouldn't be ashamed of and more as an honest job. It definitely isn't the type of work that just anyone can do, and this book discusses all of the possible things that you need to consider before you even contemplate doing such a thing. I hope that this book becomes well received among the masses and that maybe Rayne looks into furthering her memoirs with a better editor in the future to tackle those grammar errors :p
August 3, 2021
This was so great! The author used to work as a legal sex worker in Australia and she ate a lot of pizza, had more pricks than a pincushion, and had sex with men and women despite her preferences being women only. I am a people watcher and I am always interested in what it might be like to have a certain job and especially a job like this! The author's goal is to give you a look into the field of work from many different angles, and the first half of the book delves into a description of what the booking process is and what safety precautions are used and discussions about the clients. Before reading this book, I would have answered "Horny dudes" if asked who I thought might go to a legal brothel but she gives a lot of other categories from adventurous married couples to newly transgendered people to lonely elderly widowed guys to the handicapped. And horny guys. A lot of horny guys. I was surprised at all of the vanilla chatting that goes on, like some of these people just wanted someone to talk to. The second part of the book is about the politics of it all. The self created morality police, the actual police, and laws that are supposed to make the industry safer but usually just put the workers, legal and not legal, in more danger of being harmed.
July 20, 2021
To say that this book is irreverent and funny does it a disservice. It is insightful and deeply human, it is illuminating to the issues of sex within our societies, and it is helpful, but not in the way that traditional self help books get branded and passed around. This book helped put to words that I as a queer in the sexually repressed southern region of the united states have always struggled to illuminate clearly, and has helped me to explain thoughts on enthusiastic consent versus tacit acceptance and look at my sexuality through a non judgemental, less self loathing lens. Rayne is a talented writer with a witty turn of phrase that puts a human element to deeply human feelings and experience all while pushing one to think more clearly about the why's of one's feelings for the sometimes uncomfortable revelations that come with not just a woman's sexuality or her place in society, but the deeply vulnerable and feeling nature of people. The book is both thought provoking and thoroughly giggle worthy.
April 14, 2020
What a wonderful collection of emotional stories and pointed critiques! It's a tough combination to pull off, but the author does it with every bit of success I'd expect as a fan of her Facebook page. Her personal experience with humanity underscores so much of the universal experiences we share, and she sets that shared understanding against a backdrop many will be unfamiliar with to create a sharp reminder of the things in society that many may be unaware of and others choose to ignore. Plus it's plain fucking funny. There are laughs, there are tears, there are unicorn blowjobs and mystery shower cum - I don't know what more you could ask for.
I do hope they are able to get a publisher to pick this up for printing. Toss a round of copy editing and a hardcover on this perfectly pervy and poignant work, and I'd buy a copy in a heartbeat. Probably a few for gifting, too. As the kids-these-days' memes would say, shut up and take my money!
I do hope they are able to get a publisher to pick this up for printing. Toss a round of copy editing and a hardcover on this perfectly pervy and poignant work, and I'd buy a copy in a heartbeat. Probably a few for gifting, too. As the kids-these-days' memes would say, shut up and take my money!
January 17, 2021
Constantine writes in such a way that you'd believe you are talking to an old friend over drinks. Honest, forthright, funny, and so very human. Reading this book was like catching up with an adventurous and wise favorite cousin.
While you might expect the book to follow a certain pattern knowing what experiences it is based on, the book takes you on a contemplative journey where you laugh, think, rage, and assess your unconscious biases. It also walks the reader down the path of self acceptance, self love, and illustrated the thought processes that can bring a person to this point.
The book shows how important firm boundaries and self worth are, not only in our professional lives, but also our personal sphere.
After reading my first copy, I bought a few more to share with my young employees (who also rave about it). This of course necessitated buying more copies for my patients and my colleagues.
Constantine's book should be required reading, especially for folks coming of age, looking to examine their subconscious biases, or finding their boundaries.
While you might expect the book to follow a certain pattern knowing what experiences it is based on, the book takes you on a contemplative journey where you laugh, think, rage, and assess your unconscious biases. It also walks the reader down the path of self acceptance, self love, and illustrated the thought processes that can bring a person to this point.
The book shows how important firm boundaries and self worth are, not only in our professional lives, but also our personal sphere.
After reading my first copy, I bought a few more to share with my young employees (who also rave about it). This of course necessitated buying more copies for my patients and my colleagues.
Constantine's book should be required reading, especially for folks coming of age, looking to examine their subconscious biases, or finding their boundaries.
July 2, 2021
After reading, my response to the author was "Hello. I just finished your book. Thank you. I'm now wondering if we can petition HRH The Queen, to make your book required reading for all W.A. State politicians." Followed by a bit about that likely not being worth it.
A no holes barred, donuts and banana bread good rollicking tale is within. The book has it's serious side, and for me as a guy, contains valuable information that we just don't get access too normally. Guys, read it, check your privilege and learn from it. Woke or not. Ladies, can also learn from this book, I think. Both genders can get a lesson on how to, and how not to, treat those with identities in between, or totally unrelated. I hope the serious side of the book will help to shape attitudes, and law reforms, far and wide. Remember the cheese burgers, forget the pickles. Thank you, Rayne for your tales from your life. Many thanks to your wifely one also.
A no holes barred, donuts and banana bread good rollicking tale is within. The book has it's serious side, and for me as a guy, contains valuable information that we just don't get access too normally. Guys, read it, check your privilege and learn from it. Woke or not. Ladies, can also learn from this book, I think. Both genders can get a lesson on how to, and how not to, treat those with identities in between, or totally unrelated. I hope the serious side of the book will help to shape attitudes, and law reforms, far and wide. Remember the cheese burgers, forget the pickles. Thank you, Rayne for your tales from your life. Many thanks to your wifely one also.
April 8, 2020
My review is based on viewing this as a treatise on sexual attitudes and humans as sexual beings. As such, I'm not worrying about comparing the writing style to, say, Gaiman or Simon Singh.
I've followed IISN for years on FB, and am continually amazed at her ability to evaluate situations (and life in general) quite objectively. (usually followed by an entertaining rant-put-down of some boneheads who try to insult her)
This book reads like a well-edited and well-curated collection of her posts and thoughts. Maybe the best thing one can learn here is that people are all different and we really ought to be able to deal with that. PP&PIS is kind of like David Sedaris' essay on spending a month at a naturist camp, tho' the latter is about external openness and the former about internal openness
I've followed IISN for years on FB, and am continually amazed at her ability to evaluate situations (and life in general) quite objectively. (usually followed by an entertaining rant-put-down of some boneheads who try to insult her)
This book reads like a well-edited and well-curated collection of her posts and thoughts. Maybe the best thing one can learn here is that people are all different and we really ought to be able to deal with that. PP&PIS is kind of like David Sedaris' essay on spending a month at a naturist camp, tho' the latter is about external openness and the former about internal openness
February 24, 2021
I wanted to read this book after I learned about it from the author's Facebook page "Insufferably lntolerant Science Nerd".
Damaging episodes in my early life had left me with confusion about sex roles, prostitution , autonomy and consent. And politeness.
Through her FB page, I had found the author's style and snarky humour cut through where decades of life experience and psychological interventions had not. Reading this book blew away the lying ghost voices of my past and replaced them with her own no- nonsense account of her own values and lived experience.
You know all those books that are advertised as " life changing"? For me, this one truly was.
In the interests of full disclosure I was gifted a copy of this book after my original purchase failed and I wrote to the author. The gifting has not influenced my opinion of the book.
Damaging episodes in my early life had left me with confusion about sex roles, prostitution , autonomy and consent. And politeness.
Through her FB page, I had found the author's style and snarky humour cut through where decades of life experience and psychological interventions had not. Reading this book blew away the lying ghost voices of my past and replaced them with her own no- nonsense account of her own values and lived experience.
You know all those books that are advertised as " life changing"? For me, this one truly was.
In the interests of full disclosure I was gifted a copy of this book after my original purchase failed and I wrote to the author. The gifting has not influenced my opinion of the book.
June 10, 2020
An interesting and captivating book thanks to both the anecdotes and the serious themes in between. The topic outline and the themes are very well thought out. Rayne writes in a great personal style and has a modern and inclusive feminst perpective. Of course with solid scientific references.
This book helped me sort out the complexities of the issue and where my own stance is in this matter: Safety for workers and stopping abuse and harassment in the industry is more important than anything else.
In the Swedish debate about prostitution after Paolo Roberto was found buying sex from a trafficking victim, there has been a lot of talk of not letting the buyers be the one telling the story. This is one of the voices that should be heard instead.
This book helped me sort out the complexities of the issue and where my own stance is in this matter: Safety for workers and stopping abuse and harassment in the industry is more important than anything else.
In the Swedish debate about prostitution after Paolo Roberto was found buying sex from a trafficking victim, there has been a lot of talk of not letting the buyers be the one telling the story. This is one of the voices that should be heard instead.
April 20, 2021
I learned of the author through her Facebook page and was immediately fascinated. This book offers insigts in the sex industry and the legislations and societal misconceptions surrounding it, but there is also so much more.
Do you want sex education? History? Politics? Science? LGBTQ+? Litlle slices of life that are so funny they are going to make you laugh hysterically on the train, causing everyone to look at you like they are contemplating calling an exorcist? You will find it in this book.
I immediately recommended it to all of my friends and everybody willing or unwilling to listen. I don´t think there is anyone who couldn´t gain something from reading this book.
PS: We stan the wife in this house.
Do you want sex education? History? Politics? Science? LGBTQ+? Litlle slices of life that are so funny they are going to make you laugh hysterically on the train, causing everyone to look at you like they are contemplating calling an exorcist? You will find it in this book.
I immediately recommended it to all of my friends and everybody willing or unwilling to listen. I don´t think there is anyone who couldn´t gain something from reading this book.
PS: We stan the wife in this house.
July 20, 2021
I like well sourced, well researched books that will teach me something. As a cisgender hetero female in the US, who has spent her life in academia, the topic was not something I'd ever really thought much about. I found the text to be easy to read, and as soon as the text got dense, there was a vignette to break it up, which kept the tempo quick. I finished the book, which I found compelling, changed. Life lessons learned through sex work mirrored what I think many people need to learn to be successful adults, and what I learned through my own life. The text then moves to analyze workplace models and provides a more broad world view. The book won't provide you solely salacious tidbits or describe trauma but it will meld some stories with some historical context. It's not porn.
January 21, 2023
Moist.
In all seriousness, I cannot express just how insightful and important this book is. Rayne is an immensely entertaining and intelligent writer (her “Insufferably Intolerant Science Nerd” page remains one of the few bright beacons of value for Facebook), and within these pages honestly and emotionally explores the modern world’s relationship with sexuality, self-expression, and workers rights. So I highly encourage everyone to read this book, to both potentially learn something about yourself or for future enjoyment or safety (safe sex is good sex, and men have a g-spot within their anus fyi) and to realise why we should decriminalise sex work and no longer shun the people working within the industry. I’m going to be that weird person who recommends this book to all my friends.
In all seriousness, I cannot express just how insightful and important this book is. Rayne is an immensely entertaining and intelligent writer (her “Insufferably Intolerant Science Nerd” page remains one of the few bright beacons of value for Facebook), and within these pages honestly and emotionally explores the modern world’s relationship with sexuality, self-expression, and workers rights. So I highly encourage everyone to read this book, to both potentially learn something about yourself or for future enjoyment or safety (safe sex is good sex, and men have a g-spot within their anus fyi) and to realise why we should decriminalise sex work and no longer shun the people working within the industry. I’m going to be that weird person who recommends this book to all my friends.
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