What do you think?
Rate this book
What Do We Need Men For?: A Modest Proposal
A darkly funny and very personal attempt to answer the question by America's longest running advice columnist
When E. Jean Carroll—possibly the liveliest woman in the world and author of Ask E. Jean in Elle Magazine — realized that her eight million readers and question-writers all seemed to have one thing in common—problems caused by men—she hit the road. Criss-crossing the country with her blue-haired poodle Lewis Carroll, E. Jean stopped in every town named after a woman between Eden, Vermont and Tallulah, Louisiana to ask women the crucial question: What Do We Need Men For?
E. Jean gave her rollicking road trip a sly, stylish turn when she deepened the story, creating a list called “The Most Hideous Men of My Life,” and began to reflect on her own sometimes very dark history with the opposite sex. What advice would she have given to her past selves—as Miss Cheerleader USA and Miss Indiana University? Or as the fearless journalist, television host and eventual advice columnist she became? E. Jean intertwines the stories of the outspoken people she meets on her road trip with her own history of bad behavior (from mafia bosses, media titans, boyfriends, husbands, a serial killer, and others) creating a decidedly dark yet hopeful, hilarious and thrilling narrative. Her answer to the question What Do We Need Men For? will shock men and delight women.
When E. Jean Carroll—possibly the liveliest woman in the world and author of Ask E. Jean in Elle Magazine — realized that her eight million readers and question-writers all seemed to have one thing in common—problems caused by men—she hit the road. Criss-crossing the country with her blue-haired poodle Lewis Carroll, E. Jean stopped in every town named after a woman between Eden, Vermont and Tallulah, Louisiana to ask women the crucial question: What Do We Need Men For?
E. Jean gave her rollicking road trip a sly, stylish turn when she deepened the story, creating a list called “The Most Hideous Men of My Life,” and began to reflect on her own sometimes very dark history with the opposite sex. What advice would she have given to her past selves—as Miss Cheerleader USA and Miss Indiana University? Or as the fearless journalist, television host and eventual advice columnist she became? E. Jean intertwines the stories of the outspoken people she meets on her road trip with her own history of bad behavior (from mafia bosses, media titans, boyfriends, husbands, a serial killer, and others) creating a decidedly dark yet hopeful, hilarious and thrilling narrative. Her answer to the question What Do We Need Men For? will shock men and delight women.
Audiobook
First published July 2, 2019
295 people are currently reading
4158 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 271 reviews
August 7, 2019
I am not sure what I just read, but I know that I hated it. I expected something ironic and funny, but all I got was awkward rambling with unique storytelling (also not a positive trait).
July 9, 2019
I've never read anything written by E. Jean Carroll before. I didn't even know she was a long-time advice columnist for Elle, or that she had written an article long ago for Outside magazine about one of my favorites, Fran Lebowitz (excerpting one of my favorite Lebowitz quotes for WDWNMF: "To me the outdoors is what you must pass through to get from your apartment into a taxi"). However, after reading the recent article about her in New York Magazine, largely centered around her rape by Donald Trump in a Bergdorf Goodman dressing room, she seemed to me a very different sort of person. She was not outraged. She actually had a fairly low-key media presence, considering the subject matter, related to the article/book. Was she odd or eccentric? Manipulative or naive? I was intrigued and decided to buy her book if for no other reason to monetarily reward someone for standing up to Trump.
Anyway, the book turns out to be a road trip of sorts (devoid of scenery descriptions, which E. Jean promises to provide via email for those who must have them) through various towns named after women, speaking with women about "What do we need men for?" The premise, after the Alexander Pope classic "A Modest Proposal," is silly, sprung from Carroll's observation that most of her readers' questions center around men problems. Along the way, there are regrettably few enlightening encounters, though many delightful women make appearances. However, I found E. Jean such an earnest, funny, exuberant lover of womanhood and animals and life -- in a setting that cried out for cynicism -- that I did enjoy going along for the ride. It's a breezy read that despite being dotted with some of E. Jean's horrific encounters with men left me feeling upbeat at its end. She's nobody's victim.
Anyway, the book turns out to be a road trip of sorts (devoid of scenery descriptions, which E. Jean promises to provide via email for those who must have them) through various towns named after women, speaking with women about "What do we need men for?" The premise, after the Alexander Pope classic "A Modest Proposal," is silly, sprung from Carroll's observation that most of her readers' questions center around men problems. Along the way, there are regrettably few enlightening encounters, though many delightful women make appearances. However, I found E. Jean such an earnest, funny, exuberant lover of womanhood and animals and life -- in a setting that cried out for cynicism -- that I did enjoy going along for the ride. It's a breezy read that despite being dotted with some of E. Jean's horrific encounters with men left me feeling upbeat at its end. She's nobody's victim.
October 21, 2019
I enjoyed this book quite a bit to begin with, but it was a bit of a rollercoaster ride. This review is going to pertain towards the writing rather than the content (Carroll has dealt with a lot of bs and it isn't my intention to review that piece).
I liked the humour at first, but it felt a bit... tiring as it went on. Carroll often went on tangents, which made it a bit difficult to get through. She would start a story, go on about something else and then would finish the story pages and pages later- there were times where I went "oh yeah, that's what she was talking about in the first place!" after some brief confusion.
On the flip side, there were a few times where it felt a bit repetitive, especially when she would talk about certain people by reintroducing them with their title or whatnot just a couple of pages later.
All-in-all a fine read. Quite a number of powerful men (Les Moonves, Trump, etc.) are (rightfully) put on blast and Carroll discusses at length the horrible men who have plagued their lives. I imagine almost every woman will relate to at least one of her stories.
P.S this book is not written FOR MEN, for any out there who want to read it with the sole purpose of being offended.
I liked the humour at first, but it felt a bit... tiring as it went on. Carroll often went on tangents, which made it a bit difficult to get through. She would start a story, go on about something else and then would finish the story pages and pages later- there were times where I went "oh yeah, that's what she was talking about in the first place!" after some brief confusion.
On the flip side, there were a few times where it felt a bit repetitive, especially when she would talk about certain people by reintroducing them with their title or whatnot just a couple of pages later.
All-in-all a fine read. Quite a number of powerful men (Les Moonves, Trump, etc.) are (rightfully) put on blast and Carroll discusses at length the horrible men who have plagued their lives. I imagine almost every woman will relate to at least one of her stories.
P.S this book is not written FOR MEN, for any out there who want to read it with the sole purpose of being offended.
August 29, 2019
Update: OK, I finished the book. My first impression has not changed. A book about nothing....
OK, This is my first impression. It's cute. Way too much of man-bashing even for my taste and I am a single (by choice, after three marriages) very independent, self-sufficient woman, but, what do I know, I am just at the beginning of the book. Also, I would not recommend an audiobook. E. Jean Carroll narrates it herself and I don't like it. She is hard to listen too. I think it was a mistake to self narrate it. I think I will put it aside, for now, and will get back to this book a bit later. I will not give up on it. Maybe I am just not in the right state of mind.
OK, This is my first impression. It's cute. Way too much of man-bashing even for my taste and I am a single (by choice, after three marriages) very independent, self-sufficient woman, but, what do I know, I am just at the beginning of the book. Also, I would not recommend an audiobook. E. Jean Carroll narrates it herself and I don't like it. She is hard to listen too. I think it was a mistake to self narrate it. I think I will put it aside, for now, and will get back to this book a bit later. I will not give up on it. Maybe I am just not in the right state of mind.
January 20, 2024
Imagine Carrie Bradshaw at 70…she can still write a bit but this Carrie Bradshaw never got Big or even Aidan..and she’s alone…and so she goes on a tiny book screed of all the men who’ve assaulted her supposedly….from the babysitter and the sitter’s boyfriend to the likes of Les Moonves and Donald Trump.
The conceit is she will drive around america and stop only in towns with women’s names…Blythe Tennessee, aurora Kansas and ask women what are men good for?
Can’t women just run the joint and do awesome?
Psychologically, this 70 year old barren, childless woman running around America importuning women to disavow men is rich…a woman who basked in the glow of male adulation now wants all women to give them up bc men have given up on her.
A few last points: the answer to carrolls question of what do we need men for? Is modern civilization. For 300,000 years everyone lived lives that were nasty,brutish, and short and only in the last few hundred years have science and technology lifted us out of the muck.
Finally, I read this bc of Carrolls unsupported allegations that Trump assaulted her…there’s simply no way to defend oneself against an allegation of more than 25 years ago where no one was a witness…most telling, is that Carroll claims she was not traumatized by the alleged Bergdorf assault. That was why she went back to the store again and again, but then adds as a postscript she never had sex again after the assault…so which is it?
No woman ever was raped and 15 years later announced to her thousands of Twitter followers that her rapists’s tv show was her favorite…and that’s exactly what Carroll did…
The conceit is she will drive around america and stop only in towns with women’s names…Blythe Tennessee, aurora Kansas and ask women what are men good for?
Can’t women just run the joint and do awesome?
Psychologically, this 70 year old barren, childless woman running around America importuning women to disavow men is rich…a woman who basked in the glow of male adulation now wants all women to give them up bc men have given up on her.
A few last points: the answer to carrolls question of what do we need men for? Is modern civilization. For 300,000 years everyone lived lives that were nasty,brutish, and short and only in the last few hundred years have science and technology lifted us out of the muck.
Finally, I read this bc of Carrolls unsupported allegations that Trump assaulted her…there’s simply no way to defend oneself against an allegation of more than 25 years ago where no one was a witness…most telling, is that Carroll claims she was not traumatized by the alleged Bergdorf assault. That was why she went back to the store again and again, but then adds as a postscript she never had sex again after the assault…so which is it?
No woman ever was raped and 15 years later announced to her thousands of Twitter followers that her rapists’s tv show was her favorite…and that’s exactly what Carroll did…
July 13, 2019
Okay, bear with me, I'm new to writing reviews. I read a couple books a week but rarely take the time to write a review. THIS BOOK IS INCREDIBLE! I laughed so hard at times and cried at others and all the while felt my own demons losing power. WOW! I've sent copies to the women in my life most in need of personal strength (E. Jean has that in spades). Read this book, you will love it and you will feel better and then let's all take a road trip together. GIRL POWER!!!
July 3, 2019
A celebration of womanhood in all its glory. Also, very funny. E. Jean is a national treasure. Pre-publication coverage has been all about the Trump incident, but that's about 1 percent of the book, and it comes at the end. Read it for the humor, the insight, and for Lewis Carroll and Miss Bingley.
November 17, 2019
In which E. Jean Carroll tells the story of how Toadstool Tallywhacker Trump raped her in a dressing room at Bergdorf Goodman back in the 1990s.
Most of this book was just so-so. I had expected it to be a lot more entertaining, but sometimes it seemed like she was trying too hard to be humorous.
Most of this book was just so-so. I had expected it to be a lot more entertaining, but sometimes it seemed like she was trying too hard to be humorous.
October 22, 2019
Like many Goodread reviewers confess, I had never heard of E. Jean Carroll before picking up What Do We Need Men For? A Modest Proposal, but turns out she’s famous. She’s been a “somebody” in one fashion or another since college. Most famously, she is the advice columnist at Elle magazine and has been since 1993. In her feminist take on Jonathan Swift’s satire A Modest Proposal, Carroll produces the most straight-shooting yet lost-in-the-woods book I’ve ever read.
With a Prius full of organic beans and her dog, E. Jean Carroll sets out across America to ask women, “What Do We Need Men For?” This question is a trick, of this I am convinced. On the one hand, other people, animals, and technology can completely replace what men provide women. On the other hand, I would need to seek out an identical version of my husband, but as a woman. And where do trans and non-binary people fit into this? Because it’s a satire, you should never take Carroll’s book too seriously. Don’t get hung up on the question.
In fact, our advice columnist admits to sexually harassing men herself. She also has a list of men (including the wonderful writer Tom Robbins) who make the “honorary women” roster. She’s not actually crafting a theory and testing it, nor is she making a larger point that I can identify. Thus, my claim that this book is “lost in the woods,” so to speak. Between listing all her favorite motel beds that she’s slept on in her 75 years and the unidentifiable (to me) outfits she wore, my brain twirled around and wondered if I was a child in the grocery store whose mom had been right there just a moment ago.
Those outfits. Never in my life have I heard of the color “lava-gray.” It’s easy to feel like you’re swimming in a pile of unidentifiable clothing, including a “jaunty Korean driving cap, Stewart hunting-plaid kilt, and the giant grosgrain bows on [her] three-tone saddle shoes.” This is one outfit, but the way. And to put on a shirt and a Chinese wrap and a vest and a cheerleading sweater and something with fringe — I mean, I can’t even picture this abominable snowman she must have transferred herself into with all those layers. The clothes are ridiculous and largely unidentifiable to those who wear such dull numbers “shirts” and “pants.”
Then, Carroll describes what happened after she was raped in a department store very directly and proceeds to state the facts of what occurred to the best of her memory. It’s all so direct, with no gray areas or room for interpretation, that getting caught up in her favorite beds and silly outfits felt like a fake left as the writer threw right hook. Every so often, a story — of an attempted rape (there are a few), of a hand shoved up a skirt (there are a few), of a man later convicted as a serial killer who tried to enter Carroll’s house but her dog stopped him (happened just once, thankfully) — sneaks out of the basement, shouts its existence, and runs back down the stairs, slamming the door behind its reeking memory.
The result is a book that left me feeling in the middle. Sometimes I was befuddled, other times wanting to hear a more complete story of what happened that one time with the likes of Hunter S. Thompson or a famous actress. The stories of assault were scattered, but in many cases E. Jean Carroll explains that before writing the book (and she writes as if she’s directly talking to us, as if she’s calling up for a chat), she’d never told anyone what happened to her, so it’s understandable that this book was a process of sorts that was published as such.
Originally reviewed at Grab the Lapels.
With a Prius full of organic beans and her dog, E. Jean Carroll sets out across America to ask women, “What Do We Need Men For?” This question is a trick, of this I am convinced. On the one hand, other people, animals, and technology can completely replace what men provide women. On the other hand, I would need to seek out an identical version of my husband, but as a woman. And where do trans and non-binary people fit into this? Because it’s a satire, you should never take Carroll’s book too seriously. Don’t get hung up on the question.
In fact, our advice columnist admits to sexually harassing men herself. She also has a list of men (including the wonderful writer Tom Robbins) who make the “honorary women” roster. She’s not actually crafting a theory and testing it, nor is she making a larger point that I can identify. Thus, my claim that this book is “lost in the woods,” so to speak. Between listing all her favorite motel beds that she’s slept on in her 75 years and the unidentifiable (to me) outfits she wore, my brain twirled around and wondered if I was a child in the grocery store whose mom had been right there just a moment ago.
Those outfits. Never in my life have I heard of the color “lava-gray.” It’s easy to feel like you’re swimming in a pile of unidentifiable clothing, including a “jaunty Korean driving cap, Stewart hunting-plaid kilt, and the giant grosgrain bows on [her] three-tone saddle shoes.” This is one outfit, but the way. And to put on a shirt and a Chinese wrap and a vest and a cheerleading sweater and something with fringe — I mean, I can’t even picture this abominable snowman she must have transferred herself into with all those layers. The clothes are ridiculous and largely unidentifiable to those who wear such dull numbers “shirts” and “pants.”
Then, Carroll describes what happened after she was raped in a department store very directly and proceeds to state the facts of what occurred to the best of her memory. It’s all so direct, with no gray areas or room for interpretation, that getting caught up in her favorite beds and silly outfits felt like a fake left as the writer threw right hook. Every so often, a story — of an attempted rape (there are a few), of a hand shoved up a skirt (there are a few), of a man later convicted as a serial killer who tried to enter Carroll’s house but her dog stopped him (happened just once, thankfully) — sneaks out of the basement, shouts its existence, and runs back down the stairs, slamming the door behind its reeking memory.
The result is a book that left me feeling in the middle. Sometimes I was befuddled, other times wanting to hear a more complete story of what happened that one time with the likes of Hunter S. Thompson or a famous actress. The stories of assault were scattered, but in many cases E. Jean Carroll explains that before writing the book (and she writes as if she’s directly talking to us, as if she’s calling up for a chat), she’d never told anyone what happened to her, so it’s understandable that this book was a process of sorts that was published as such.
Originally reviewed at Grab the Lapels.
May 11, 2020
Part memoir, part satire (I think?), part epic cross country truth-seeking road trip - E. Jean Caroll takes a hard look at whether men being "in charge" benefits the U.S. or serves as a detriment. Given who is currently in charge I think you can guess what side of the line she comes down on.
The audio book is also narrated by E. Jean which was a real comedic treat!
The audio book is also narrated by E. Jean which was a real comedic treat!
July 28, 2019
E. Jean is hilarious and I love her because she loves all women unconditionally. The horrific and criminal act perpetrated on her by the current occupant of the White House is a minor episode in this book so don't let that dissuade you from reading it. Her modest proposal is sublime. Terrific summer read, funny and you'll love Lewis Carroll!
July 13, 2019
Just began the journey and loving it.
This profile of the author set me off to buy the book.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2...
This profile of the author set me off to buy the book.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2...
August 8, 2019
I love her wit. A very good read and sad, but in a comical way, or tragic. Depends on how sensible you are to women's issues. I think I am all for her plan. Let women lead, men go to camp.
July 1, 2025
Here’s another case of me rounding up with an extra star a book that entertained me greatly. E.Jean Carroll is a hoot and a half. I knew nothing about her other than that she won her lawsuit against Trump, for which I cheered mightily. But wow, what an interesting individual with a colorful life history and a knack for storytelling with a sharp wit.
This book is very tongue-in-cheek and meanders back and forth in time but kept me engaged. For anyone considering reading this, I HIGHLY recommend the audiobook. It’s like you’re sitting in her living room with her and she’s all stream of consciousness hilarity.
I’m looking forward to listening to her latest, once it’s been recorded, called Not My Type. Perfect title for the subject you can easily surmise.
This book is very tongue-in-cheek and meanders back and forth in time but kept me engaged. For anyone considering reading this, I HIGHLY recommend the audiobook. It’s like you’re sitting in her living room with her and she’s all stream of consciousness hilarity.
I’m looking forward to listening to her latest, once it’s been recorded, called Not My Type. Perfect title for the subject you can easily surmise.
December 8, 2021
You know Moira Rose from Schitts Creek? The way she's always namedropping? The way she considers much of her surroundings beneath her but pluckily ventures forth anyway? The way she looks down on people from rural communities while trying to convince herself they're too dumb to notice her contempt? Imagine that she's not an actress but a writer; imagine that instead of trying to convey glamour and elegance through many affections of speaking and dress she often tries to be yuk-it-up, slapstick hilarious; then age her a decade.
The result is E. Jean Carroll, at least in this book. It's not really that fun to spend time with her.
In June 2019 New York Magazine published an excerpt, titled "Hideous Men," from What Do We Need Men For? I read it and was blown away. I figured the rest of the book might be just as good, so I really wanted to read the whole thing--but times were tough and I didn't want to pay for a hardcover copy. I kept waiting for a paperback to come out, or for my library to buy it, but that just didn't happen, so eventually, I broke down and bought a copy myself....
And it's one of the silliest books I've ever read in my life. OK, there's the satirical Swiftian "modest proposal" in the subtitle, which involves killing all men and selling them for "their elements" (literally oxygen, hydrogen, nitrogen, etc), which would currently fetch $1.03 or so total per man. It's too dumb and derivative to take seriously or even get offended by. I wish Carroll had worked harder and come up with a better modest proposal, one that might actually seem plausible, despite its monstrosity.
But what's really annoying are all the self-congratulatory, cloying ways Carroll announces how clever she finds her own juvenile jokes, like telling the reader that she named her cat Vagina T. Fireball and that her car is a used Prius, which she named Miss Bingley, after which she spent all this money on automotive paint so she could "hand-paint--hand-paint, Ladies--blue polka dots and green frogs on her."
Yes, there are moments of gravitas, because so much of the book is about violence, sexual or otherwise--being sexually assaulted as a child by other children or teenage babysitters; being assaulted her first semester at college by a creepy boy whom she escapes only because he must use two hands to open the jackknife he intends to use on her; being sexually assaulted as an adult by her boss or by Donald Trump; being strangled nearly to death by her husband. These incidents, which generally do not include a cat named Vagina T. Fireball, are among the better passages in the book and are the reason I gave the book two stars instead of one. But since most of them are included in the NYM "Hideous Men" piece, it's best to just read that and skip all the other trash.
Furthermore, the gravitas and the silliness undercut it each other. I'm sure it's possible to write a funny book about rape and sexual assault--don't know that anyone has done it yet, but I'm sure it's theoretically possible--but it would be challenging. A silly book about sexual assault is too, too easy to write, and I don't see how it helps anything.
So now I understand why my library didn't buy a copy of this book and why it's never come out in paperback: it's not really very good. Most people know better than to buy it or read it. I wish I had been as wise.
The result is E. Jean Carroll, at least in this book. It's not really that fun to spend time with her.
In June 2019 New York Magazine published an excerpt, titled "Hideous Men," from What Do We Need Men For? I read it and was blown away. I figured the rest of the book might be just as good, so I really wanted to read the whole thing--but times were tough and I didn't want to pay for a hardcover copy. I kept waiting for a paperback to come out, or for my library to buy it, but that just didn't happen, so eventually, I broke down and bought a copy myself....
And it's one of the silliest books I've ever read in my life. OK, there's the satirical Swiftian "modest proposal" in the subtitle, which involves killing all men and selling them for "their elements" (literally oxygen, hydrogen, nitrogen, etc), which would currently fetch $1.03 or so total per man. It's too dumb and derivative to take seriously or even get offended by. I wish Carroll had worked harder and come up with a better modest proposal, one that might actually seem plausible, despite its monstrosity.
But what's really annoying are all the self-congratulatory, cloying ways Carroll announces how clever she finds her own juvenile jokes, like telling the reader that she named her cat Vagina T. Fireball and that her car is a used Prius, which she named Miss Bingley, after which she spent all this money on automotive paint so she could "hand-paint--hand-paint, Ladies--blue polka dots and green frogs on her."
Yes, there are moments of gravitas, because so much of the book is about violence, sexual or otherwise--being sexually assaulted as a child by other children or teenage babysitters; being assaulted her first semester at college by a creepy boy whom she escapes only because he must use two hands to open the jackknife he intends to use on her; being sexually assaulted as an adult by her boss or by Donald Trump; being strangled nearly to death by her husband. These incidents, which generally do not include a cat named Vagina T. Fireball, are among the better passages in the book and are the reason I gave the book two stars instead of one. But since most of them are included in the NYM "Hideous Men" piece, it's best to just read that and skip all the other trash.
Furthermore, the gravitas and the silliness undercut it each other. I'm sure it's possible to write a funny book about rape and sexual assault--don't know that anyone has done it yet, but I'm sure it's theoretically possible--but it would be challenging. A silly book about sexual assault is too, too easy to write, and I don't see how it helps anything.
So now I understand why my library didn't buy a copy of this book and why it's never come out in paperback: it's not really very good. Most people know better than to buy it or read it. I wish I had been as wise.
March 5, 2020
This book is more than just a fun read. E. Jean Carroll is witty and provocative. When she travels across the US interviewing women, they usually hesitate before answering the title question. One says she needs a man to take out the garbage, another says they are needed for sex, but overall the effect of these interviews is to give pause. Why do women believe they need men? One thing is clear, women need to step up to the plate and stop relying so heavily on men.
Some think we need men to protect us from other men. These "bad" men also provide a focus of the book. E. Jean incorporates her own narrative and experiences with various men. Her story is framed by an initial rape attempt when she was merely a teen and ends with her being raped in the dressing room at Bloomingdales by Donald Trump. Her account is entirely believable.
The subtitle of E. Jean's book alludes to Jonathan Swift's 18th century proposal. However, Swift may very well have taken his title from Mary Astell's extended essay, "A Serious Proposal to the Ladies." Although not widely known, Astell was an important early feminist. In her essay, she argued for the education of women. While women's education has improved greatly since the end of the 17th century, I think it would be a good idea to take up that argument again: More women need higher education, namely university degrees. I think this would lead to more women voting intelligently and the appreciation of excellent candidates like Elizabeth Warren. Get to it ladies! The future depends on you.
Some think we need men to protect us from other men. These "bad" men also provide a focus of the book. E. Jean incorporates her own narrative and experiences with various men. Her story is framed by an initial rape attempt when she was merely a teen and ends with her being raped in the dressing room at Bloomingdales by Donald Trump. Her account is entirely believable.
The subtitle of E. Jean's book alludes to Jonathan Swift's 18th century proposal. However, Swift may very well have taken his title from Mary Astell's extended essay, "A Serious Proposal to the Ladies." Although not widely known, Astell was an important early feminist. In her essay, she argued for the education of women. While women's education has improved greatly since the end of the 17th century, I think it would be a good idea to take up that argument again: More women need higher education, namely university degrees. I think this would lead to more women voting intelligently and the appreciation of excellent candidates like Elizabeth Warren. Get to it ladies! The future depends on you.
January 5, 2020
A humorous look at some very upsetting experiences. (I think some reviewers are missing that this is in large part a humor-oriented book.) And I do always enjoy a fun road trip book! This book wasn't really for me; but as always, it's good to see things from some different perspectives.
And, as an old person who is tired of decades spent listening to rationalizations and putting up with shit: I am going to start screaming the next time I hear/see some self-righteous man saying an equivalent of "well *I've* never raped/assaulted/harassed anyone* AS IF THAT IS THE TOPIC UNDER DISCUSSION! (Hint: everything not about you. No need to personalize every discussion. Empathy is a better strategy.) Congratulations, for achieving a level of basic humanity? But that detail does nothing to change the fact that most women HAVE been raped/assaulted/harassed by men. Maybe not you, but damn - it was somebody. And yes, now people are increasingly going to hear about it. So, good for Carroll for expressing her experiences.
And, as an old person who is tired of decades spent listening to rationalizations and putting up with shit: I am going to start screaming the next time I hear/see some self-righteous man saying an equivalent of "well *I've* never raped/assaulted/harassed anyone* AS IF THAT IS THE TOPIC UNDER DISCUSSION! (Hint: everything not about you. No need to personalize every discussion. Empathy is a better strategy.) Congratulations, for achieving a level of basic humanity? But that detail does nothing to change the fact that most women HAVE been raped/assaulted/harassed by men. Maybe not you, but damn - it was somebody. And yes, now people are increasingly going to hear about it. So, good for Carroll for expressing her experiences.
July 4, 2019
Auntie E has written my favorite advice column in Elle Magazine for years, and this book did not disappoint. I highly recommend listening to the audio book, which she narrates. She had me laughing out loud about all her eccentricities and those of whom she interviewed, fuming about the lack of balance in power between genders, and fired up about voting bad men out and awesome women in. Her life is fascinating and I'll eat up any insight she gives into it.
July 8, 2019
residue from the back cover of this book has embedded itself lightly in my fingerprints due to the resulting hand sweat of reading this so prolongedly in the sun. it’s as good a metaphor as any i could have thought up for what it’s like finishing this book. and i mean that in a good sort of way. or in a “gut and soul -wrenching, speaks to my heart” sort of way. i can’t quite decide how to name it. but i do know i will be talking about e. jean carroll for a long long time.
April 16, 2023
Rating this a 5 because I think she's incredibly brave for sharing her story in this way. I sincerely loved E. Jean's column in Elle and it was lovely to revisit her style of writing. This book comes across as a bit unhinged, but so are the awful things that have happened to E. Jean - I was truly shocked by all the assaults by men. It's remarkable that she has persevered as she has; and she's not the only one.
July 19, 2019
The author's whimsical effervescence prevails even while she covers a lifetime of misuse at the hands of men. Her stories are remarkable in that they are NOT unique. We should all be as courageous and irrepressible.
August 5, 2019
This is a funny, rolicking, sharp account of a road trip across America interwoven with memories of the author's very many sexual assaults throughout her life. Despite the tough content, it is funny, inspirational, spirited, and hopeful. I fell in love with her.
April 3, 2024
Prior to reading this, I hadn't read or known anything by or about Carroll besides her stunning victory against Trump. Now, I know a great deal, as this is more memoir than anything else (I expected a manifesto.) Her writing is completely scattered and nearly impossible to follow. In every chapter, she spends some time describing the road trip she is on to ask women around the country "What do we need men for?", some time describing the most hideous men of her life, some time describing other random memories, and some time discussing other crap like what she packed, what she ate, her hotel room cleaning routine, etc. It really depends on the chapter how much energy she dedicates to each topic, but in every chapter, approximately one out of every five sentences starts with the word, "Ladies!"
Even putting all that aside, listening to this audiobook, read by Carroll herself, was perhaps the most bizarre listening experience of my life. It was like Carroll had been hoping her entire life to someday get to narrate her own audiobook. She was laughing at her own jokes, flying into a rage, and even getting choked up as she performed; it was really something. She went all in - the sound effects were alarming!
I want to know - has Carroll always been this wacky, or is this something that started in her 70's? I certainly admire her for her eccentricities, cause I'm pretty weird, but I'm nowhere near her level. Hopefully I will get there eventually.
Even putting all that aside, listening to this audiobook, read by Carroll herself, was perhaps the most bizarre listening experience of my life. It was like Carroll had been hoping her entire life to someday get to narrate her own audiobook. She was laughing at her own jokes, flying into a rage, and even getting choked up as she performed; it was really something. She went all in - the sound effects were alarming!
I want to know - has Carroll always been this wacky, or is this something that started in her 70's? I certainly admire her for her eccentricities, cause I'm pretty weird, but I'm nowhere near her level. Hopefully I will get there eventually.
July 10, 2019
If you like E. Jean Carroll's column and her style you will likely enjoy this book. She manages to convey the reality of the sexual harrassment, diminishment, and abuse that many (most?) women experience in their lifetime while at the same time showing how strong and vital women are. Carroll's style is breezy, sarcastic, a little off-center (which sometimes veers off into making no sense) but there is one line in there that broke my heart and added gravity to an otherwise "light" take [spoiler]She writes that after Tr**p attacked her: "I haven't had sex since." (paraphrasing I don't have book in front of me) One sentence and then she moved on, but that one sentence reveals all we need to know. [/spoiler]
Recommended for readers who like sassy quirky takes on serious themes. Don't read it if you're just responding to the recent hype.
Recommended for readers who like sassy quirky takes on serious themes. Don't read it if you're just responding to the recent hype.
January 16, 2024
what i find disturbing is she doesn't know the date of the Trump incident, you'd think you'd know the month and the year, unless you're keeping some facts vague until all the legal stuff is over.
I'm still creeped out by some of her personality being attracted to awful men though, and some of the unpleasant childhood experiences.
From her article in The Cut:
"When I entered Indiana University, I was the most boy-crazy 17-year-old in the nation."
"My situation in life — my father being a Beta Theta Pi from Wabash College, my mother being a Kappa Delta from UCLA, my wild wish to pledge either Pi Beta Phi or Kappa Kappa Gamma, my rah-rah disposition, my total ignorance of what is going on in the world, the fact that I never crack a book — all are equally against my becoming a columnist, the first requirement of which is acknowledging that there are other beings on the planet besides boys."
"How I end up in that car, who the boy is … well, I don’t remember. I’ve been looking through my 1961 datebook, and each day is so chock-full of the names of boys who called me, the names of boys whom I expected to call me and didn’t, the names of boys who did call me but I didn’t care if they called me, the names of boys who if they didn’t call me I was never going to speak to again, the names of boys who if they called me I would not pick up the phone, and the names of boys I would have my roommate, Connie, call and ask if they called me while she was on the line with a boy who was begging me to call him back, I can’t figure out who this boy is."
"But meet No. 1 on the Most Hideous Men of My Life List. He belongs to that class of boys who are not athletes and so must make their mark on campus with their devastating looks or gobs of money. I don’t remember this boy having either. I remember this boy’s thing is his car. It is a stick shift...."
I remember the thought flashes through my mind that could I have foreseen the circumstance of a boy throwing me down and pushing my sweatshirt up to my chin, I would not have worn a padded bra. A padded bra makes a girl look like she lacks something.
“I don’t want to wrestle,” I say. “Get off!”
He pins my arms over my head by my wrists.
“Get off!” I say again.
He is holding my wrists with both his hands, and, before I can react, he changes his hold to one hand and, with his free hand, pulls a knife out of his back pocket.
“See this?” he whispers.
I look at it. At the time, I own two Girl Scout knives, a Girl Scout knife-safety certificate, and my own personal hatchet, and the neighbor kids believe I have reached a height of felicity rarely attained on Illsley Place, our street, because of my winning 30 rounds of mumblety-peg, a game where we throw pocketknives at each other’s bare feet. So, yes, I can “see” his knife. It’s a jackknife, a knife with a folding blade, dark brownish-gray, made out of some kind of horn, about five or six inches. If he opens it, it will measure, end to end, 10 or 11 inches. It’s not the knife. Well, it is the knife, but it’s the look on his face that scares me.
“Get off,” I say.
He pushes my bra up over my breasts. I can smell his excitement; it’s like electrified butter, and I zero in on the fact that he must use two hands to open the knife.
“Get off!” I say.
“I am gonna get off,” he whispers.
He lets go of both of my wrists for two seconds to open the knife, and I roll out from under him and run.
...........
Let’s just double-check my diary: Do I write that I went to the campus police and reported the boy? Do I say I went to the university health clinic and talked with a therapist? No. I say:
BE IT KNOWN—
That from this day forth I will not except [sic] or go on any dates that are not of my choice — they must be boys who are to my liking [I can’t read what I crossed out here]. I have to [sic] many things to do — rather than waste my time with CREEPY BOYS.
(signed) Jeanie Carroll
...............
I like her work with SNL, and she tackled a book on Hunter S. Thompson, but even that has creepy vibes
like this:
Now, about this Most Hideous Men of My Life List: It is a list of the 21 most revolting scoundrels I have ever met. I started it in October 2017, the day Jodi Kantor and Megan Twohey published their Harvey Weinstein bombshells in the New York Times. As the riotous, sickening stories of #MeToo surged across the country, I, like many women, could not help but be reminded of certain men in my own life. When I began, I was not sure which among all the foul harassers, molesters, traducers, swindlers, stranglers, and no-goods I’ve known were going to make the final accounting. I considered Matt Lauer, Bill O’Reilly, and the giant dingleberry Charlie Rose, all guys whose TV shows I was on many times and who made headlines during the rise of #MeToo. But in the end, they do not make my Hideous List.
Hunter S. Thompson … now, there’s a good candidate. I know. I wrote his biography. Does Hunter, the greatest degenerate of his generation, who kept yelling, “Off with your pants!” as he sliced the leggings from my body with a long knife in his hot tub, make the list? Naw.
And if having my pants hacked off by a man lit to the eyebrows with acid, Chivas Regal, Champagne, grass, Chartreuse, Dunhills, cocaine, and Dove Bars does not make the list — because to me there is a big difference between an “adventure” and an “attack” — who, in God’s name, does make my Hideous List?
After almost two years of drawing and redrawing my list, I’ve come to realize that, though my hideosity bar is high, my criteria are a little cockeyed. It is a gut call. I am like Justice Potter Stewart. I just know a hideous man when I see one. And I have seen plenty.
...........
As it turns out, a Hideous Man marks practically every stage of my life. And so, Reader, from this cavalcade of 21 assholes, I am selecting a few choice specimens. One or two may not be pleasant for you to read about, I apologize. But if we all just lean over and put our heads between our knees, the fainting feeling will pass. No one need be carried from the room.
............
I really don't know what to make of her, other than she seems to keep making bad choices.
"E. Jean Carroll testified that her second marriage was at times violent, saying that her then-husband choked her on three occasions."
"Carroll also testified that her second husband, John Johnson, strangled her on three occasions. She said that the violence was not sexual, and that she did not call the police and did not sue him."
October 30, 2019
The #metoo shitstorm has influenced my reading in several stages: pain (all the reporting/revelations/allegations since 2016) moved into anger (Good & Mad by Rebecca Traister), which opened up to calls for action (Invisible Women by Caroline Criado Perez) and I finally landed at satire with this book. What a relief, we can laugh again.
And I did laugh because this septuagenarian took to the road with her dog, Lewis Carroll, to ask women a simple question inspired by Jonathan Swift. This is a road trip, buddy story and investigation at its most farcical (I particularly love the polka dot painted Prius named Miss Bingley). There is wisdom from a lifetime of experience (and what a life!) that she's sharing but she's also commiserating with women who've experienced trauma and abuse. There is no shortage of trauma and abuse in this book (that's how she developed her Most Hideous Men list) but I appreciate how candid she is when retelling these events: they're complicated and messy and she doesn't have complete answers for how she even feels today. But every chapter brings you straight back to the present where she's wandering small-town America in her kilt, talking to strangers and tucking extra bacon on her plate to take back to the room for her poodle. It's a light read that covers dark territory then drops you back on your doorstep better than you started - I was happy to take that ride.
And I did laugh because this septuagenarian took to the road with her dog, Lewis Carroll, to ask women a simple question inspired by Jonathan Swift. This is a road trip, buddy story and investigation at its most farcical (I particularly love the polka dot painted Prius named Miss Bingley). There is wisdom from a lifetime of experience (and what a life!) that she's sharing but she's also commiserating with women who've experienced trauma and abuse. There is no shortage of trauma and abuse in this book (that's how she developed her Most Hideous Men list) but I appreciate how candid she is when retelling these events: they're complicated and messy and she doesn't have complete answers for how she even feels today. But every chapter brings you straight back to the present where she's wandering small-town America in her kilt, talking to strangers and tucking extra bacon on her plate to take back to the room for her poodle. It's a light read that covers dark territory then drops you back on your doorstep better than you started - I was happy to take that ride.
December 9, 2019
E. Jean Carroll is like your eccentric aunt, or your mom's single friend. When I started the audio, it was A LOT. "Ladies!! What do we need men for?" And then lists, so many lists!
But ultimately there is a method to her madness. As she goes on a road trip state to state staying in Hardwick Inns in towns named after women, she has a simple question: What do we need men for? Some women say, "to take out the trash" and some say, "we don't". And interspersed with that is a list of Most Hideous Men, many of whom terrifyingly abused her, starting when she was young.
Ms. Carroll has had a long and truly interesting life and she doesn't touch on a lot of what I'd like to hear (epic camping adventures in far flung places?!) but she's clear when she supports and believes women.
I'm glad I read this, even though the cheerleader and sorority sister in Ms. Carroll comes through loud and clear (sometimes too loud and too clear-- if listening to the audio, save it for your commute home, not in the morning, or better yet with a Manhattan in hand).
But ultimately there is a method to her madness. As she goes on a road trip state to state staying in Hardwick Inns in towns named after women, she has a simple question: What do we need men for? Some women say, "to take out the trash" and some say, "we don't". And interspersed with that is a list of Most Hideous Men, many of whom terrifyingly abused her, starting when she was young.
Ms. Carroll has had a long and truly interesting life and she doesn't touch on a lot of what I'd like to hear (epic camping adventures in far flung places?!) but she's clear when she supports and believes women.
I'm glad I read this, even though the cheerleader and sorority sister in Ms. Carroll comes through loud and clear (sometimes too loud and too clear-- if listening to the audio, save it for your commute home, not in the morning, or better yet with a Manhattan in hand).
March 5, 2020
"The ten-thousand–year-old damsel-in-distress story is dead. Bad things still happen to women, yes; but women are no longer damsels. Women are sweaty. Women are scalding. Women are strong. Women are tender. Women are fierce. Women are fighters!"
E. Jean is a force of nature, a woman who has endured countless harassments and assaults over the decades but maintained her laughter, conversationalism, and habit of calling other women (strangers) things like "Magnificent! Spectacular! Super duper!" Immensely relatable, sometimes shockingly optimistic.
E. Jean is a force of nature, a woman who has endured countless harassments and assaults over the decades but maintained her laughter, conversationalism, and habit of calling other women (strangers) things like "Magnificent! Spectacular! Super duper!" Immensely relatable, sometimes shockingly optimistic.
July 21, 2019
I realize i'm not quite the target audience for this book.
This is a light reading, somewhat frivolous read. There's no definitive conclusion to the question posed in the title. It's a little bit funny at times but i guess i might have missed quite a bit as i don't get a lot of the references.
Still, it was kinda entertaining and a quick enough read for me to see it all through. Despite me being white male from Europe, hardly the audience the author would have had in mind. :-)
This is a light reading, somewhat frivolous read. There's no definitive conclusion to the question posed in the title. It's a little bit funny at times but i guess i might have missed quite a bit as i don't get a lot of the references.
Still, it was kinda entertaining and a quick enough read for me to see it all through. Despite me being white male from Europe, hardly the audience the author would have had in mind. :-)
August 6, 2019
I picked up this book after listening to a podcast featuring the author (With Friends Like These). I’ve never, to the best of my knowledge, read the authors column in ELLE, so I wasn’t really sure what to expect. I equally laughed, clutched my pearls and wanted to rage while reading this book. The concept is interesting but some of the details were incredibly difficult to read. TBH I’m not sure how to rate this book, it jumps around quite a bit and breaks my heart as often as I chuckle.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 271 reviews