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A Match Made In Heaven: British Muslim Women Write About Love and Desire
Star-studded and beautifully written, this collection offers diverse stories about love and desire by South Asian-heritage British Muslim women authors, including Ayisha Malik ( Sofia Khan Is Not Obliged ) and Shelina Janmohamed ( Love in a Headscarf ). Although outsiders often expect Muslim women to be timid, conservative, or submissive, the reality is different. While some of these authors express a quiet piety and explore poignant situations, others use black humor and biting satire, or play with possibilities. Still others shade into the territory of a Muslim Fifty Shades of Grey , creating grey areas where the mainstream media sees only black and white. If grooming-gang scandals grab headlines, characters are more scandalized by suitors’ sloppy personal grooming. Finding the right crimson lipstick for a date or the perfect power outfit for meeting a cheating ex-husband are commoner preoccupations than the news. Stylish but far from shallow, the stories also reflect on migration, racism, arranged marriage, gender differences, lesbian desire, bearding, and many other subjects.
284 pages, Paperback
Published December 1, 2020
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
February 9, 2021
I really wanted to enjoy this, there was so much scope and potential for this to be GOOD, original, but it just fell into the stereotypes that non-Muslim authors have categorised us Muslim women to be in; desperate to drink and indulge in sex before marriage. It's the sort of stuff, I've read and seen on Netflix countless times and it just made me sigh. I really wanted something more original, more intimate and deeper than just "his crotch was calling out, inviting me on top" cringe.
Gotta give this a bad score, really disappointed and not worth how much I spent on it.
Gotta give this a bad score, really disappointed and not worth how much I spent on it.
December 21, 2022
Had this book on my to-read list for a number of years and finally got around to reading it. I know some Muslims who have had arranged marriages and have gone though some "misadventures" just like these, or close to them in some of the storytelling. There's a lot among these short stories/essays: humor, joy, awkwardness (prepare for secondhand embarrassment!), sadness, trauma, etc.
It is a series of short pieces in a collection that tell different types of meetings/relationships, etc. Some are poignant, some are funny, some are in between. There are complicated issues (some people do not want to get married but do for societal/cultural/familial pressures, etc., some cannot be together because one is not Muslim, etc.)
I enjoyed it, recognized some of the tropes/stories/experiences from people that I know (meaning, some of these are shared experiences and I don't know anyone in these stories), but do agree with the criticisms. Some of it might be familiar if you already know a bit about marriages, matchmaking, etc. with Muslims.
It's an interesting collection that would probably be of interest to scholars and maybe people who enjoy essay collections but I wish I had read this as a library borrow instead of a full price purchase. Wouldn't rush to read it, either.
It is a series of short pieces in a collection that tell different types of meetings/relationships, etc. Some are poignant, some are funny, some are in between. There are complicated issues (some people do not want to get married but do for societal/cultural/familial pressures, etc., some cannot be together because one is not Muslim, etc.)
I enjoyed it, recognized some of the tropes/stories/experiences from people that I know (meaning, some of these are shared experiences and I don't know anyone in these stories), but do agree with the criticisms. Some of it might be familiar if you already know a bit about marriages, matchmaking, etc. with Muslims.
It's an interesting collection that would probably be of interest to scholars and maybe people who enjoy essay collections but I wish I had read this as a library borrow instead of a full price purchase. Wouldn't rush to read it, either.
August 28, 2020
This is a book of short stories which are drawn together by the fact that they are all by Muslim women, and all take as their subject “Love and Desire”. Not that, as the Introduction is at pains to point out, they are similar beyond that theme. The apparent expectation is that Muslim are “both conservative and submissive”, but these sixteen stories do not demonstrate that to be the case; indeed they are sufficiently diverse to suggest that all they all feature relationships in a vast range.
There are stories which show enormous respect for a relationship by the rules, even if not exactly as expected by organising mothers. There are also those that show a strong resistance to what is enforceable under the strict rules of the faith, as one man proposes to take a second wife. The women who are at the centre of these stories sometimes express themselves through the narrative, whereas in at least one both partners’ views are fully explored. These stories are limited only by imagination, but are mostly grounded in experience. Some of the authors are well known, others produced their stories from a workshop setting. Some use pseudonyms for various reasons, as honesty and down to earth truths even in fiction can be too revealing. I was pleased to have the opportunity to read and review this special book.
The pressure on young women and men to marry can lead to difficult relationships, which is a theme explored in more than one story. Women in Britain also experience the pressures of education and career being in conflict with traditional expectations of marriage and house work, and this is reflected in the stories. Some women’s stories reflect betrayal of different types, whereas others have quite a twist with responsibility not lying where it first seemed.
This is not a miserable collection of stories throughout; there are flashes of humour, determination and strength. Obviously some stories will appeal more to some readers than others, which reflects the variety and mixture of writing styles. It is difficult to work out which is the ultimate favourite without revealing the twists in many of the tales, the unexpected and unpredictable endings, the satisfactory resolutions and the open endings which encourage further speculation on the part of the reader.
This is essentially a varied collection of stories which show the diversity of views they reflect from the perspective of Muslim women. There is humour in a story involving a bathroom window, there is deep and unresolvable sorrow in a story set amongst the Syrian war. There are happy marriages, relationships, there are those who struggle to rise above an incident or fact, while others show true survival. The editors have done an amazing job in bringing together words, stories and contributions that really push the boundaries of the expected. There is no one presumption of what women can produce here, as the description states “so absolutely nothing can be taken for granted”. This is a book which can be enjoyed on many levels, by people who may not have much knowledge or understanding of the Muslim faith, and by those for whom it is a life long commitment. I found much to enjoy in this book, being able to explore its diversity in the contributions it contains, and would definitely recommend it.
There are stories which show enormous respect for a relationship by the rules, even if not exactly as expected by organising mothers. There are also those that show a strong resistance to what is enforceable under the strict rules of the faith, as one man proposes to take a second wife. The women who are at the centre of these stories sometimes express themselves through the narrative, whereas in at least one both partners’ views are fully explored. These stories are limited only by imagination, but are mostly grounded in experience. Some of the authors are well known, others produced their stories from a workshop setting. Some use pseudonyms for various reasons, as honesty and down to earth truths even in fiction can be too revealing. I was pleased to have the opportunity to read and review this special book.
The pressure on young women and men to marry can lead to difficult relationships, which is a theme explored in more than one story. Women in Britain also experience the pressures of education and career being in conflict with traditional expectations of marriage and house work, and this is reflected in the stories. Some women’s stories reflect betrayal of different types, whereas others have quite a twist with responsibility not lying where it first seemed.
This is not a miserable collection of stories throughout; there are flashes of humour, determination and strength. Obviously some stories will appeal more to some readers than others, which reflects the variety and mixture of writing styles. It is difficult to work out which is the ultimate favourite without revealing the twists in many of the tales, the unexpected and unpredictable endings, the satisfactory resolutions and the open endings which encourage further speculation on the part of the reader.
This is essentially a varied collection of stories which show the diversity of views they reflect from the perspective of Muslim women. There is humour in a story involving a bathroom window, there is deep and unresolvable sorrow in a story set amongst the Syrian war. There are happy marriages, relationships, there are those who struggle to rise above an incident or fact, while others show true survival. The editors have done an amazing job in bringing together words, stories and contributions that really push the boundaries of the expected. There is no one presumption of what women can produce here, as the description states “so absolutely nothing can be taken for granted”. This is a book which can be enjoyed on many levels, by people who may not have much knowledge or understanding of the Muslim faith, and by those for whom it is a life long commitment. I found much to enjoy in this book, being able to explore its diversity in the contributions it contains, and would definitely recommend it.
January 16, 2023
I’d give this a 4 for content and 2 for writing quality - a lot of the stories are interesting and off the beaten track, but they are written with little self reflection, and without any resolution.
There is no contextualization of why these women (and men, when written from the male perspective) said/ did the things they said / did, which left me feeling unsatisfied by the stories. It almost seems like the scenarios were chosen for the shock value - “Hey look what Muslim women are into when they think their parents/ uncles and aunties/ society isn’t looking” rather than an exploration of the experience of being immigrant, first generation British, religious and racial minorities and other aspects of their identities.
There is no contextualization of why these women (and men, when written from the male perspective) said/ did the things they said / did, which left me feeling unsatisfied by the stories. It almost seems like the scenarios were chosen for the shock value - “Hey look what Muslim women are into when they think their parents/ uncles and aunties/ society isn’t looking” rather than an exploration of the experience of being immigrant, first generation British, religious and racial minorities and other aspects of their identities.
January 27, 2021
Read my full review here: https://coffeeandshortbread.wordpress...
I rated this five stars not because I thought all the stories were 5 stars, there were some that I didn't relate to at all, but I found this book had such an excellent overall experience about Muslim women and desire that I felt it deserved 5 stars. I will say if you are a Muslim woman you will find one story in here that will really relate to. The quality of the writing is great and I was really sucked in by the stories, they were so entertaining. This book was well crafted, thoughtful, shocking but was an awesome reading experience.
I rated this five stars not because I thought all the stories were 5 stars, there were some that I didn't relate to at all, but I found this book had such an excellent overall experience about Muslim women and desire that I felt it deserved 5 stars. I will say if you are a Muslim woman you will find one story in here that will really relate to. The quality of the writing is great and I was really sucked in by the stories, they were so entertaining. This book was well crafted, thoughtful, shocking but was an awesome reading experience.
September 22, 2020
It seems unfair to give an overall rating for a book of stories by different authors. Some were very good indeed, one or two were patchy or (for me) disappointing.
But a really interesting read. It’s good to dip into lives that are so different and yet not so different from mine.
But a really interesting read. It’s good to dip into lives that are so different and yet not so different from mine.
February 16, 2022
3/3.5 stars for this one. A couple of the stories didn’t fully hit their marks and it’s understandable because many of the contributors were new writers. I still enjoyed some stories, even the haram ones 🤣
This connection definitely reads like the British version of “Love, in shaAllah”
This connection definitely reads like the British version of “Love, in shaAllah”
October 22, 2024
Insightful but limited perspective in some chapters
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews