Crazy Was All I Ever Knew: The Impact of Maternal Mental Illness on Kids

by Alice Kenny

To this day, Alice still thinks of her childhood home as "the crazy house." Like Alice, millions of adult Americans are living with the effects of the precarious childhoods they experienced as offspring of mentally ill parents. If you are one of them, you can no doubt relate to this book. As a child, you most likely lived in a crazy house of your own. As an adult, you’ve probably retained and may even relive memories of your tumultuous upbringing. Crazy Was All I Ever Knew explores the impact of maternal mental illness on children through memoir and research. Alice intersperses episodes from her life with research on the risks faced by children of mentally ill moms, adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) in general, and the science of resilience. In her memoir, Alice divulges secrets and embarrassments long hidden due largely to the stigma of mental illness. She shares the abuse she suffered as a child and the anxieties and self-doubt that still linger. What happened to Alice as a child and later as an adult mirrors research findings in many ways. Importantly, the developing science of resilience sends a resounding message of hope. Resilience can be built at any age. Researchers at the Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University have found that having a single supportive relationship with a caring adult can make all the difference in a child's life. For adults, the key to healing is learning to forgive—yourself. As Dr. Philip R. Muskin of Columbia University Medical Center says, “You have to be able to say, ‘It’s not my fault.’”

166 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 2, 2020

Reviews

[Dyane Harwood · Rating 5 out of 5]

Alice Kenny's book covers a topic that has rarely been addressed so comprehensively and astutely in the maternal mental health literature. "Crazy Was All I Ever Knew" is an extremely useful, inspiring book. It speaks to any parent who has been affected by maternal mental illness. Kenny's work gives parents hope that they haven't destroyed their children by being mentally ill, and she empahsizes that children are far more resilient than we realize. As a child of a father who had bipolar one disorder, and as a mother diagnosed with postpartum bipolar disorder, Kenny's incisive work has helped me to reframe how my mental illness has affected my children.

Dyane Harwood
Author, "Birth of a New Brain—Healing from Postpartum Bipolar Disorder"

[T C · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well written personal account of growing up in an unbalanced family environment, Ms.Kenny details several scenarios that evoke reader concern and empathy for children who because of their youth and innocence are still relatively unaware of their plight and family conditions. Often papered over, parental, and here specifically maternal psychological impairments are explored and examined with the reason and perspective that maturity enables. Without tonality of blame or condemnation, the author brings to readers attention this important and timely issue that may be considerately more prevalent than anyone may realize. Very readable, thoughtful anecdotal work.

[Charlotte · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a very sad memoir of a woman who was beaten and emotionally abused by a cruel mother. It also contains many quotes from research on Adult Children from Dysfunctional Families and Resilience studies.
It would be a good book for a social work class to study. It is short but meaningful. It took me several months to read it because it is heartbreaking and I read only a little at a time.