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Diary of a Drag Queen
“This book changed my life. Tom Rasmussen’s honesty, vulnerability, and fearlessness jump out of every page and every word. It is the queer bible I’ve always needed.” — Sam Smith, singer and songwriter
In these pages, find glamour and gaffes on and off the stage, clarifying snippets of queer theory, terrifyingly selfish bosses, sex, quick sex, KFC binges, group sex, the kind of honesty that banishes shame, glimmers of hope, blazes of ambition, tender sex, mad dashes in last night's heels plus a full face of make-up, and a rom-com love story for the ages. This is where the unspeakable becomes the celebrated. This is the diary of a drag queen—one dazzling, hilarious, true performance of a real, flawed, extraordinary life.
"I hope people like me will read this and feel seen and loved by it. I hope people who aren't like me will enjoy it, laugh with it, learn from it. And I hope people who don't like me will file lawsuits just so I can wear my brand-new leopard-print skirt suit and bust their asses in court."
—Crystal Rasmussen, in Refinery29
433 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 7, 2019
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3799 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 208 reviews
September 23, 2024
Wow, where to start.
Firstly, it's as over the top as a queen can be and for that reason there were parts that made me laugh out loud. But equally there are other parts that made me feel like I did at a long neck village in Thailand, humans shouldn't have to make a buck by being entertainment to others.
I felt like I was looking into the very soul of the author, their thoughts on society, pride, gay marriage, RuPaul. At times I was on edge, grossed out (if your uncomfortable reading about poop this probably isn't the right book for you) sad, hopeful, fabbity fab.
And for that this is a solid 4 star book as it brought out so many emotions.
Firstly, it's as over the top as a queen can be and for that reason there were parts that made me laugh out loud. But equally there are other parts that made me feel like I did at a long neck village in Thailand, humans shouldn't have to make a buck by being entertainment to others.
I felt like I was looking into the very soul of the author, their thoughts on society, pride, gay marriage, RuPaul. At times I was on edge, grossed out (if your uncomfortable reading about poop this probably isn't the right book for you) sad, hopeful, fabbity fab.
And for that this is a solid 4 star book as it brought out so many emotions.
February 8, 2019
Diary of a Drag Queen is about as far away from my usual reading as you could get, but when I heard about it I knew it was exactly what I needed to have a fantastic laugh; if you're easily offended or prudish then let me say very clearly that this is most definitely not for you. Described as "a unique portrayal of the queer experience," we follow Crystal Rasmussen through a fun-filled year in their (preferred term) life. It's all here; the good, the bad and the ugly, and there were numerous times I was laughing so hard I had tears streaming down my face. I think it's the complete and utter frankness, brutal honesty and no holds barred nature of the book which makes it very easy to admire the way Crystal lives.
Well written with a great flow to it, this is a cracking good read. Lighthearted and perfect to pass the time before bed. I didn't want it to end. The writing is raw and powerful and represents a person who is living life exactly as they want. Crystal is a warm personality, and you truly feel as if you've known them all your life by the end of the book. The spectrum of emotions you feel through the duration of this biography is astounding; it'll make you laugh, cry, cringe and squirm. It's thought-provoking and moving in equal measure - the phrase "warts and all" has never been so apt.
Many thanks to Ebury Press for an ARC.
You can also find my reviews posted here on my blog.
Well written with a great flow to it, this is a cracking good read. Lighthearted and perfect to pass the time before bed. I didn't want it to end. The writing is raw and powerful and represents a person who is living life exactly as they want. Crystal is a warm personality, and you truly feel as if you've known them all your life by the end of the book. The spectrum of emotions you feel through the duration of this biography is astounding; it'll make you laugh, cry, cringe and squirm. It's thought-provoking and moving in equal measure - the phrase "warts and all" has never been so apt.
Many thanks to Ebury Press for an ARC.
You can also find my reviews posted here on my blog.
February 14, 2019
I’m self-confessedly not one to enjoy autobiographies or memoirs, so for this year’s Reading Challenge, I chose one of my options as a book in a genre that I usually don’t pick up. Quite fortuitously I was also offered an ARC of Crystal Rasmussen’s Diary of a Drag Queen, so I thought I’d kill two birds with one stone and choose it as my February challenge book.
It’s challenging for me to review Diary of a Drag Queen, because I’m not sure how much of my dislike stems from its genre, and how much for the book itself. Don’t get me wrong, Rasmussen is a fantastic writer, and they have some absolutely spot on things to say about being queer and the issues facing LGBTQIA+ and other minority communities. But that for me was the issue. There was nothing else. The very nature of the memoir is that the diarist gets to pick and choose what they release to the public, and Rasmussen chose their stories carefully to be an almost equal mix of important discussions on these issues and stories told for shock value.
Diary of a Drag Queen is about Rasmussen’s queer identity only, without actually saying too much about Rasmussen as a person. I’ve never met them, but I’d like to think there is more to them than anonymous, dirty sex, and intellectual discussions about what it means to be queer. As such Diary of a Drag Queen ended up feeling more like a lecture on gender and sexual identity, than a cohesive, interesting narrative.
Diary of a Drag Queen shows two faces of Rasmussen. First, the intellectual who deeply thinks about the issues facing them and their community. This is told well through personal anecdotes and a self-deprecating wit that I found endearing when I started the book. They are unapologetically blunt, filthy, and incredibly candid about their body image issues which made their words feel somehow universal. I really identified with Rasmussen. Their words and thought processes really gelled with me, despite the differences in our experiences. I really felt a commonality, that drew me into the narrative.
Perhaps the change in how I felt about Diary of a Drag Queen came at the point where our experiences diverged. After a while, the very things that made Rasmussen relatable achieved the opposite, simply because they almost started to feel repetitive. Again, this is likely a genre issue. This is Rasmussen’s experience, and I have absolutely no right to say how that experience should have played out. But, I can approach it as a reader, and for me, personally, I found it repetitive and dull after a while.
Diary of a Drag Queen is incredibly explicit. That’s fine. But when that kind of explicit narrative gets boring halfway through, then you know it’s missed the mark somewhere. This is Rasmussen’s second face. The reader is treated to a very candid, no holds barred recounting of their sex life. In and of itself, completely fine, and actually interesting to get a glimpse into a world in which I will never belong, but after the 20th Grindr shag, and the 50th dirty sex story the shock had worn off and I was just bored. If my reaction to someone offering to shit in someone’s mouth is ‘not again, that is so page 20’, then something has gone wrong along the line.
Perhaps Diary of a Drag Queen is not written for me. Or maybe it is. So much of what was so great about it was Rasmussen’s amazing insight. But that insight wasn’t enough to carry the narrative past the halfway mark. Then it felt like an overload – a curious mix of proselytising and stories told for shock value. Had this been another genre I probably wouldn’t have felt that way, so I don’t blame Rasmussen. But, what my Reading Challenge for February has taught me, is that I should probably keep avoiding memoirs and autobiographies. I obviously just don’t like them.
It’s challenging for me to review Diary of a Drag Queen, because I’m not sure how much of my dislike stems from its genre, and how much for the book itself. Don’t get me wrong, Rasmussen is a fantastic writer, and they have some absolutely spot on things to say about being queer and the issues facing LGBTQIA+ and other minority communities. But that for me was the issue. There was nothing else. The very nature of the memoir is that the diarist gets to pick and choose what they release to the public, and Rasmussen chose their stories carefully to be an almost equal mix of important discussions on these issues and stories told for shock value.
Diary of a Drag Queen is about Rasmussen’s queer identity only, without actually saying too much about Rasmussen as a person. I’ve never met them, but I’d like to think there is more to them than anonymous, dirty sex, and intellectual discussions about what it means to be queer. As such Diary of a Drag Queen ended up feeling more like a lecture on gender and sexual identity, than a cohesive, interesting narrative.
People bandy about terms like ‘fake’, but choosing how you want to look is the definition of authentic.
Diary of a Drag Queen shows two faces of Rasmussen. First, the intellectual who deeply thinks about the issues facing them and their community. This is told well through personal anecdotes and a self-deprecating wit that I found endearing when I started the book. They are unapologetically blunt, filthy, and incredibly candid about their body image issues which made their words feel somehow universal. I really identified with Rasmussen. Their words and thought processes really gelled with me, despite the differences in our experiences. I really felt a commonality, that drew me into the narrative.
People think drag queens are stupid. This is misogyny in action: they think that because we feminise ourselves, because we spend a lot of time on make-up and hair and getting exactly the right look, we are vapid, bitchy and stupid.
People are wrong to think drag queens are stupid.
Perhaps the change in how I felt about Diary of a Drag Queen came at the point where our experiences diverged. After a while, the very things that made Rasmussen relatable achieved the opposite, simply because they almost started to feel repetitive. Again, this is likely a genre issue. This is Rasmussen’s experience, and I have absolutely no right to say how that experience should have played out. But, I can approach it as a reader, and for me, personally, I found it repetitive and dull after a while.
The antidote to this shame is not pride, or honour, or even celebration. That comes later. The antidote to shame is honesty. Stark, crass, funny, powerful honesty. Honesty that smashes through notions of taboos and inappropriatenesses.
Diary of a Drag Queen is incredibly explicit. That’s fine. But when that kind of explicit narrative gets boring halfway through, then you know it’s missed the mark somewhere. This is Rasmussen’s second face. The reader is treated to a very candid, no holds barred recounting of their sex life. In and of itself, completely fine, and actually interesting to get a glimpse into a world in which I will never belong, but after the 20th Grindr shag, and the 50th dirty sex story the shock had worn off and I was just bored. If my reaction to someone offering to shit in someone’s mouth is ‘not again, that is so page 20’, then something has gone wrong along the line.
Perhaps Diary of a Drag Queen is not written for me. Or maybe it is. So much of what was so great about it was Rasmussen’s amazing insight. But that insight wasn’t enough to carry the narrative past the halfway mark. Then it felt like an overload – a curious mix of proselytising and stories told for shock value. Had this been another genre I probably wouldn’t have felt that way, so I don’t blame Rasmussen. But, what my Reading Challenge for February has taught me, is that I should probably keep avoiding memoirs and autobiographies. I obviously just don’t like them.
April 10, 2020
Well, um...I can safely say that this is the first book I didn't finish in the span of probably a couple years. And I somehow choked down Juno Roche's book. I wanted to like this. I did. I was so intrigued and interested in learning about drag queens, what that persona and lifestyle and night life entailed, because really, I don't know as much as I'd like to about it, and I think that there's definitely power in knowledge. Besides, it's a known fact that empathy and sympathy grows the more you read about perspectives that aren't your own. But.
But.
I read the first 10% (as an ebook, hence the percentage), and I really don't know how I did it. No matter what page I was reading, there were mentions of cum. Sperm. Semen. BDSM. Nudes. And strange interjects from who I can only assume was Crystal, who seemed to have a (made up) life filled with drama and flair. Look, I don't think I'm a prude. But dear god am I SO tired of seeing this fetishizing of women's bodies, reading about sloppy, slobbery, semen-crusted walks of shame, imagining egregious amounts of make-up and money not-well-spent on shitty, mindless things that are supposed to make us feel better because we've rewarded ourselves with something 'new' or through their purpose of somehow aiding us 'self care' in the midst of capitalism.
What I understand is that drag can be uplifting, an expression of gender and pushing and pulling against stereotypes. And, at its most accepted, it's fun! Yet this was just...self-aggrandizing, borderline egotistical, and Crystal felt like a mockery of women at best.
However fun it was for Tom and Crystal, it was equally gross for me. DNF.
Review cross-listed here!
But.
I read the first 10% (as an ebook, hence the percentage), and I really don't know how I did it. No matter what page I was reading, there were mentions of cum. Sperm. Semen. BDSM. Nudes. And strange interjects from who I can only assume was Crystal, who seemed to have a (made up) life filled with drama and flair. Look, I don't think I'm a prude. But dear god am I SO tired of seeing this fetishizing of women's bodies, reading about sloppy, slobbery, semen-crusted walks of shame, imagining egregious amounts of make-up and money not-well-spent on shitty, mindless things that are supposed to make us feel better because we've rewarded ourselves with something 'new' or through their purpose of somehow aiding us 'self care' in the midst of capitalism.
What I understand is that drag can be uplifting, an expression of gender and pushing and pulling against stereotypes. And, at its most accepted, it's fun! Yet this was just...self-aggrandizing, borderline egotistical, and Crystal felt like a mockery of women at best.
However fun it was for Tom and Crystal, it was equally gross for me. DNF.
Review cross-listed here!
January 13, 2021
it feels so uncomfortable to rate and talk about some memoirs. specially when I don't like them because who am I to judge what someone else decides do share about their lives?
in this case, there were a few things I enjoyed and others I didn't at all. I enjoyed the reflections on gender, identity and how to navegate life when you're queer. however, I didn't like how most of the stories in this book/diary just sounded fake. they're too out-of-a-movie. there's also a lot of explicit sexual descriptions, which kind of blurred together at one point since they were mostly so vulgar and outrageous. it bored me quite a bit.
overall, I guess I was expecting some outrighly extravagant tale and not just a real life tale, but fully exaggerated.
in this case, there were a few things I enjoyed and others I didn't at all. I enjoyed the reflections on gender, identity and how to navegate life when you're queer. however, I didn't like how most of the stories in this book/diary just sounded fake. they're too out-of-a-movie. there's also a lot of explicit sexual descriptions, which kind of blurred together at one point since they were mostly so vulgar and outrageous. it bored me quite a bit.
overall, I guess I was expecting some outrighly extravagant tale and not just a real life tale, but fully exaggerated.
January 28, 2023
Raw, emotional, filthy and completely hilarious, I loved this book so much. I listened to it on audiobook which was an excellent decision as the author narrates it. It’s the diary of a drag queen, but it’s also a memoir on friendship, love, sex, being gay, gender, identity, bullying, employment, body-shaming, feminism, poverty, social class, fashion, family and how to style it out when your massive poo has blocked a KFC toilet. I loved it.
May 20, 2020
There were some really great parts of this book - the author was a great storyteller and shares so many funny, memorable anecdotes. The vignette style really worked for them & I loved all their sex stories and their reflections on gender, class, sex, and family. I liked hearing about their personal relationship with drag, but it did get kind of repetitive (I don't think it needed to be the anchor of this book). I liked that the author clearly thinks a lot about politics and privilege, but it felt a little forced when they tried to merge these reflections (or anecdotes about other multiply marginalized people and performers) with their own narrative. It's a clear bind for white authors - you don't want to not talk about race, but neither do you want to make perfunctory observations about privilege. *shrugs* Over all, I'd definitely recommend this book to others!
May 6, 2022
HOWLING with laughter at some points, a single tear sliding down at others. This book is a ROLLER COASTER, a dumpster fire, a beautiful mess and I genuinely learned a lot.
I will say, though, that this book isn’t for everyone. Lots of explicit sex stories & poo stories. I loved the beginning, but halfway through it seemed to be hitting a lot of the same notes over and over again. I enjoyed it, but I was ready for it to be over by the time I got to the 3/4 point because of that repetition.
BUT I love the “found family” aspect, I love the gender conversations throughout that made me think, and I loved the hilarity of it. I was a big fan of the footnotes that have more context (and made me laugh!). It was an enjoyable palette cleanser between my usual fantasy novels
I will say, though, that this book isn’t for everyone. Lots of explicit sex stories & poo stories. I loved the beginning, but halfway through it seemed to be hitting a lot of the same notes over and over again. I enjoyed it, but I was ready for it to be over by the time I got to the 3/4 point because of that repetition.
BUT I love the “found family” aspect, I love the gender conversations throughout that made me think, and I loved the hilarity of it. I was a big fan of the footnotes that have more context (and made me laugh!). It was an enjoyable palette cleanser between my usual fantasy novels
June 9, 2023
this is (and I do not say this lightly) my Favorite book. it is a hug for my big queer heart
I am obsessed with the combination of the mundane and philosophical- the way moments & reflections are weaved together into something like a cohesive story without adhering to any of the rules of a story, obvi. Tom said they hate narratives but I think they have crafted a stunning one, on their own terms.
I recommend this to everyone, forever. best consumed in a park while eating McDonalds, while crying in your bed, hungover at your favorite diner & over (several) cocktails alone at the bar.
I aspire to craft something so beautiful one day!!
I am obsessed with the combination of the mundane and philosophical- the way moments & reflections are weaved together into something like a cohesive story without adhering to any of the rules of a story, obvi. Tom said they hate narratives but I think they have crafted a stunning one, on their own terms.
I recommend this to everyone, forever. best consumed in a park while eating McDonalds, while crying in your bed, hungover at your favorite diner & over (several) cocktails alone at the bar.
I aspire to craft something so beautiful one day!!
May 3, 2021
I almost never give up on a book. This was one of those rare cases.
April 9, 2021
This book wasn’t the easiest of reads, but it was worth it. It’s given me food for thought, laughs, outrage and embarrassment that Crystal and their friends, and the whole LGBTQIA+ community are treated with such physical and verbal abuse, misunderstanding and indifference.
To the author: thank you for allowing me to have a glimpse of your world.
To the author: thank you for allowing me to have a glimpse of your world.
January 21, 2023
The perfect book! It catches the queer experience – whether you are as outrageous as Crystal or not!
It reads so well. Funny. Touching. Sexy. Cringe.
Loved it!
It reads so well. Funny. Touching. Sexy. Cringe.
Loved it!
January 26, 2023
I wish there were 400 more pages… I’m sad to not be in their world anymore. This author is a genius and I have never related to sentiments about gender expression more. I felt seen by this book and learned so much too. Valid valid valid valid valid
March 6, 2019
Thanks to Ebury Press and Netgalley for the Advance Review Copy.
The title is pretty self explanatory for this one. It's the diary of a drag queen, in this case the drag persona of journalist Tom Rasmussen.
This book is certainly not for anyone even a remotely bit prudish. If you have even one iota of prudery in you then back away slowly. It is unapologetically explicit in its accounts of sexual activity, sexual fantasies, drug taking, jokes about incest....you get the picture.
The author is clearly an accomplished writer, as evidenced also by her writing contributions outwith the scope of this book. The book has lots of hilarious anecdotes but also looks unflinchingly at issues relating to discrimination, homophobia and the reclamation of power within the LGBTQIA+ community.
My main issue with the book was that after an entertaining start, it all got a bit samey. The author was also just a bit too caustic and mean-spirited for me to fully engage with this diary. The social justice commentary was a little heavy-handed and descended into Tumblrina territory at certain points. Some of it also felt a bit r/thathappened e.g. getting a free flight from NYC to Iceland because the airline staff liked his perfume. Uh huh. There were just too many times I wasn't able to read it as a genuine diary so I wasn't able to enjoy it fully.
Overall, lots of people would love this one but it was just too full-on for me.
The title is pretty self explanatory for this one. It's the diary of a drag queen, in this case the drag persona of journalist Tom Rasmussen.
This book is certainly not for anyone even a remotely bit prudish. If you have even one iota of prudery in you then back away slowly. It is unapologetically explicit in its accounts of sexual activity, sexual fantasies, drug taking, jokes about incest....you get the picture.
The author is clearly an accomplished writer, as evidenced also by her writing contributions outwith the scope of this book. The book has lots of hilarious anecdotes but also looks unflinchingly at issues relating to discrimination, homophobia and the reclamation of power within the LGBTQIA+ community.
My main issue with the book was that after an entertaining start, it all got a bit samey. The author was also just a bit too caustic and mean-spirited for me to fully engage with this diary. The social justice commentary was a little heavy-handed and descended into Tumblrina territory at certain points. Some of it also felt a bit r/thathappened e.g. getting a free flight from NYC to Iceland because the airline staff liked his perfume. Uh huh. There were just too many times I wasn't able to read it as a genuine diary so I wasn't able to enjoy it fully.
Overall, lots of people would love this one but it was just too full-on for me.
April 2, 2020
It doesn't seem fair to judge someone else's memoir. They are opening up their life (for whatever reason or purpose) for the full view of others. That takes courage.
Diary of a Drag Queen is a courageous book. Crystal and Tom Rasmussen tell their story with openness, honesty, humor, pain, lewdness and an in-your-face frankness. If you're a prude, you will be offended and this is not the book for you. If you're not, you'll find yourself laughing and enjoying their story. For awhile. Somewhere along, the book seemed to become one-note, and like any note hit again and again and again and again, it becomes tiresome.
This is strictly my opinion, all people and readers view things from a different perspective. I can only speak my own truth.
My thanks to NetGalley and FSG Originals for allowing me to read a copy of Diary of A Drag Queen in exchange for an unbiased review. All opinions expressed here are my own.
Diary of a Drag Queen is a courageous book. Crystal and Tom Rasmussen tell their story with openness, honesty, humor, pain, lewdness and an in-your-face frankness. If you're a prude, you will be offended and this is not the book for you. If you're not, you'll find yourself laughing and enjoying their story. For awhile. Somewhere along, the book seemed to become one-note, and like any note hit again and again and again and again, it becomes tiresome.
This is strictly my opinion, all people and readers view things from a different perspective. I can only speak my own truth.
My thanks to NetGalley and FSG Originals for allowing me to read a copy of Diary of A Drag Queen in exchange for an unbiased review. All opinions expressed here are my own.
March 23, 2019
I have always wanted to be a drag queen. I know it sounds strange and inherently being a drag queen is mainly a male role but dammit drag queens get to have so much fun. They are so glamorous and it just seems like an amazing element of performance.
This is why I was drawn to the memoir Diary of a Drag Queen by Crystal Rasmussen. Rasmussen is so very candid when explaining the life of a drag queen, about his life as a gay man – whether this be the difficult relationship with love, random hook-ups and how gay men are still victims of hatred.
It is hard not to like Diary of a Drag Queen. It is dry, funny, warm and endearing. My favourite thing was the little asides littered within the text – they were often hilarious.
Diary of a Drag Queen is a wonderful read and I fully recommend it.
Diary of a Drag Queen by Crystal Rasmussen is available now.
This is why I was drawn to the memoir Diary of a Drag Queen by Crystal Rasmussen. Rasmussen is so very candid when explaining the life of a drag queen, about his life as a gay man – whether this be the difficult relationship with love, random hook-ups and how gay men are still victims of hatred.
It is hard not to like Diary of a Drag Queen. It is dry, funny, warm and endearing. My favourite thing was the little asides littered within the text – they were often hilarious.
Diary of a Drag Queen is a wonderful read and I fully recommend it.
Diary of a Drag Queen by Crystal Rasmussen is available now.
February 20, 2019
I read this book in one sitting. It made me laugh out loud, it made me cry and it also made me totally re-assess how I move through the world as a cis woman and the countless ways in which I can be a better LGBTQI+ ally. In other words, it's gloriously funny, rude, entertaining and joyful, while also being a vital polemic that challenges the reader to be a better person. Crystal is a stunning voice, her wit and honesty are breathtaking and I can't wait to see what she does next.
December 10, 2020
I started off this book liking it a lot, then I got bored and was about to give up but it took a turn and I ended up loving it.
For something that I took a chance on in the library, it turned out to be a funny read.
For something that I took a chance on in the library, it turned out to be a funny read.
January 15, 2021
A fun thrill ride through working class queerness. So many things I laughed along with, others that forced me to look at myself and my place within the community, and to finish with confidence in identity. Thank you Crystal!
September 18, 2020
Definitely listen to the audiobook if you can, that's what brings this to life.
August 31, 2024
2.5 rounded up! This book was so full of life that it took on a true personality of its own. The author has such a sharp and unique humor to their writing, but I’d expect nothing less from the diary of a person born for stardom. I’ll start off by saying that this book is quite far from the types of books I usually gravitate towards, but I’m so glad I read it! The author speaks so openly about their journey through life, their queerness and the intersection of both. The story is equally tragic when confronting hatred and homophobia, but gripping and sometimes disturbing when opening up about fecal stories and working for a living as a performer. If you aren’t into poop-centric side plots, or pretty graphic details, then this book may not be for you.
Through the innermost thoughts of a queer drag queen written in the form of a diary, an intimate conversation between the writer and the reader unfolds. Anecdotes of coming out, hate crimes and homophobia, sexism, struggles with body image, debt and financial illiteracy, bad bosses, and the reality of following your dreams into a less than lucrative career all while flailing into adulthood are balanced by stories about true friendship, a love for performance, navigating through queer discovery, relationship building and destruction, this story captures the beauty of it all. This book takes you on a rollercoaster of adventures during which you sext for a horrible boss, or watch as a turd floods towards a restaurant of unsuspecting patrons. You also dive headfirst into life as a struggling artist with a lot to prove and more to overcome.
Reading about self destructive behavior in such a humorous tone is contradictory but interesting for the readers. On one hand, I was deeply invested in the storyline and the lessons learned, or not learned, through pivotal life moments and critical thinking transformed into “what it means to be queer” checklists. On the other hand I found it a bit hard to love reading about poop, bodily fluids, and the super graphic recounting of encounters at clubs or with hookups from Grindr. Perhaps I’m not the audience for those particular topics.
I did however feel profoundly enlightened when it comes to acquiring a deeper understanding of the LGBTQIA+ community, the experience of existing in a space that is so beautiful but also so plagued by those who don’t understand it. I also felt very grateful for the inclusion of acknowledgment for the bias against women and the misogyny that exists in these spaces. I found that reading about the queer experience from a queer author really opened the door for a new perspective to take shape. While I did not peg this book as particularly educational when I started reading it, I find now that I have actually learned a lot.
I learned a lot about self confidence, about pursuing your dreams and taking it in stride when the plan or path to get there has changed. I learned a lot about protecting your peace, but also when to make impactful statements about who you are and what you stand for. Maybe against my will a little bit or maybe of my own volition, I learned a lot about self introspection and analysis rooted in a deep self hatred or lack of self understanding.
While I initially wrote off some of the destructive behavior as being related to a lack of self respect, I soon learned that it was a part of living entirely authentically. These behaviors, while perhaps not the most productive for self preservation, offered incredibly valuable insight into the true self and the authentic self that we fight to protect.
Overall I wouldn’t recommend this book to my mom but I would tell anyone who was interested in reading it that this book was authenticity captured on paper- with a touch of delusional logic that somehow works out in the end. Or maybe it doesn’t, but wasn’t it the friends we made along the way? Clever and enlightening, while also being maybe a little bit gross, this book was all around over the top!
Through the innermost thoughts of a queer drag queen written in the form of a diary, an intimate conversation between the writer and the reader unfolds. Anecdotes of coming out, hate crimes and homophobia, sexism, struggles with body image, debt and financial illiteracy, bad bosses, and the reality of following your dreams into a less than lucrative career all while flailing into adulthood are balanced by stories about true friendship, a love for performance, navigating through queer discovery, relationship building and destruction, this story captures the beauty of it all. This book takes you on a rollercoaster of adventures during which you sext for a horrible boss, or watch as a turd floods towards a restaurant of unsuspecting patrons. You also dive headfirst into life as a struggling artist with a lot to prove and more to overcome.
Reading about self destructive behavior in such a humorous tone is contradictory but interesting for the readers. On one hand, I was deeply invested in the storyline and the lessons learned, or not learned, through pivotal life moments and critical thinking transformed into “what it means to be queer” checklists. On the other hand I found it a bit hard to love reading about poop, bodily fluids, and the super graphic recounting of encounters at clubs or with hookups from Grindr. Perhaps I’m not the audience for those particular topics.
I did however feel profoundly enlightened when it comes to acquiring a deeper understanding of the LGBTQIA+ community, the experience of existing in a space that is so beautiful but also so plagued by those who don’t understand it. I also felt very grateful for the inclusion of acknowledgment for the bias against women and the misogyny that exists in these spaces. I found that reading about the queer experience from a queer author really opened the door for a new perspective to take shape. While I did not peg this book as particularly educational when I started reading it, I find now that I have actually learned a lot.
I learned a lot about self confidence, about pursuing your dreams and taking it in stride when the plan or path to get there has changed. I learned a lot about protecting your peace, but also when to make impactful statements about who you are and what you stand for. Maybe against my will a little bit or maybe of my own volition, I learned a lot about self introspection and analysis rooted in a deep self hatred or lack of self understanding.
While I initially wrote off some of the destructive behavior as being related to a lack of self respect, I soon learned that it was a part of living entirely authentically. These behaviors, while perhaps not the most productive for self preservation, offered incredibly valuable insight into the true self and the authentic self that we fight to protect.
Overall I wouldn’t recommend this book to my mom but I would tell anyone who was interested in reading it that this book was authenticity captured on paper- with a touch of delusional logic that somehow works out in the end. Or maybe it doesn’t, but wasn’t it the friends we made along the way? Clever and enlightening, while also being maybe a little bit gross, this book was all around over the top!
March 11, 2021
What can I say. This is just incredible! Absolutely hilarious yet poignant; explicit yet educational, relevant and very important.
The themes/experiences explored throughout this diary are immensely important for all LGBTQ+. I found myself laughing out loud in one moment whilst feeling such empathy and sadness in the next
A seriously good and very important read! Thanks Crys henny 😘
The themes/experiences explored throughout this diary are immensely important for all LGBTQ+. I found myself laughing out loud in one moment whilst feeling such empathy and sadness in the next
A seriously good and very important read! Thanks Crys henny 😘
March 16, 2020
somehow feeling both further removed from and more connected with the queer community, gonna grapple with that a little bit. obsessed with the way this was written; so raw, witty, heartfelt, etc. etc.
love!
love!
March 1, 2021
A VERY honest, open and unique perspective of what it’s like to be part of the LBGTQIA+ community. The book addresses so many difficult issues about being non binary, queer and a drag queen. Its really helped me understand what these terms mean in practice with such a unique perspective!
October 8, 2025
My stomach hurt from laughing, my face stung from tears, my jaw hit the floor on several occasions. If the purpose of literature is to educate and entertain then job fucking done. A highly original delight.
May 4, 2020
I'm really glad this popped up in my "suggested reading" and that I took the plunge to try it out. I found myself laughing out loud in parts, stopping what I was doing in shock, and holding my breath until the chapter ended. While it's not exactly a comedy, there are extremely tragic moments shared, Crystal/Tom brings a much needed balance to the roller coaster shared.
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August 9, 202021st May - absolute GOLD
June 8, 2022
certainly NSFW, so entertaining and skillful! I gasped and giggled and was horrified and shocked so many times, realising how innocent I am lol
great start to my pride month reading!!
great start to my pride month reading!!
April 10, 2024
Made me laugh and broke my heart.
Explores gender identity and sexuality in a really interesting way and is a shocking reminder of how disgustingly homophobic & prejudice too many people still are
Explores gender identity and sexuality in a really interesting way and is a shocking reminder of how disgustingly homophobic & prejudice too many people still are
March 15, 2023
what a wonderful read :’) thank u liz for lending me your copy!!! ive said this a few times but this book feels like reading the words and thoughts of a friend. all their thoughts about queerness and identity and living in one’s body very much resonated 💞
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