Making Space: How to Live Happier by Setting Boundaries That Work for You

by Jayne Hardy

Let healthy boundaries define the space where you can truly thrive.

Boundaries may not sound like the key to freedom—but when our boundaries are fuzzy or missing, we often end up fenced in by others’ wants and needs. If you say yes when your energy is MIA and your to-do list is overflowing—if you jump when your email pings well after dinner or let your partner’s or kid’s schedule rule your day—now is the time to reclaim some space!

Making Space will clear the way for what you need—and for what you want. With this relatable, compassionate guide, you’ll create strong boundaries around work, home, relationships, and We’re all worthy of boundaries that keep us safe, happy, and healthy. You get to take up space, too!

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Psychology, Personal Development, Audiobook

204 pages, Paperback

Published January 5, 2021

Reviews

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book not only talks about boundaries, but also talks about the environment, social media and health.
I listened to the audiobook version of this and loved it. The narrator was perfect for it.
My take away was that I need to
make healthy boundaries and sticking to it. Practice, practice, practice.
Peoples fears, and insecurities cannot be set on a scale of measurement. We are each unique, which means its different for every single person. I was so glad to hear that.
I also learned that it’s not fair to myself or others to not know what I want. Which in turn won’t create healthy boundaries.
Things I learned that made me think:
• Sleep is super important
• Speak up when necessary
• Push past feelings of rejection
• What fills me up?
• What do I like to do?
• What do I not like doing?
• Who am I?
I’m going to start working on how to accomplish/practice these things to start my journey. I found this book very helpful and it also came with work sheets to help me understand where I’m at.
I highly recommend this book. It’s got a lot of useful, helpful and encouraging things to share.
Thank you Tantor Audiobook via Netgalley for this ARC in exchange for my honest review.

[Bria · Rating 4 out of 5]

Making Space was a very quick read (4.5hrs on audio, or 200 pages), packed full of knowledge about boundaries and why they are so important for our mental health and relationships. I LOVED how she broke each section into specific areas where boundaries are needed, such as romantic relationships, children, work, your digital space and more. I found the whole audiobook to be a breath of fresh air and a reminder I very much needed. The narrator was smooth and made it very easy to listen to.

However, this is not a workbook type self-help book. There wasn’t tangible steps and actions that were clearly laid out as some other books on this type of thing. Making Space is the kind of book you read when you need a pep talk. I listened via audiobook but plan on now buying the hardcopy to dig into deeper. There were several sections (especially the parenting/children one) that I KNOW I will want to reference in the future. Lovely book overall. Would recommend.


Thanks to NetGalley & RB Media for an ARC in exchange for my honest review

[Anne · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received an ARC from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

I thought this book was quite good. I related to a lot of the anecdotes in this book. I was wishing for a bit of a deeper look into boundaries and how to set them and how to bounce back after they’ve been violated, but the book was short, so it only covered the basics (at least the “basics” you’d learn in CBT). Overall, I think it was a very good overview of boundaries. Some of the subjects felt a bit overdone; for example, social media and technological boundaries. Yes, it’s important to set these boundaries. However, information on how to set technological boundaries is available in many other books and even videos online. I would have liked more unique information. 3.5 stars overall. I think if the book was more in depth, I would have rated it higher, but it’s a good resource or refresher about boundaries nonetheless.

[Chris · Rating 3 out of 5]

Boundaries, what they are, why they are important, and how to set them, are the basis of this book. Provides practical tips on how to make boundaries a part of your every day to reduce stress.

The narrator was pleasant to listen to.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this for my honest review.

[Katy Sabo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved listening to this one as a millennial. It’s an honest hot take on how we were raised and how we can fix the status quo for the next generation. She touched on so many topics that require boundaries, some of which is nice to get that reminder that your personal needs and peace is most important for your overall mental health.

[Amber · Rating 3 out of 5]

As with many "self-help" books, I felt that there was not quite enough content for an entire book here. That being said, there were some nuggets of wisdom in the beginning of the book that were worthwhile.

I struggled a bit through the section on making space culturally, societally, and environmentally. If a person is reading this book because he or she has issues with boundaries in personal circumstances, I don't know that they should also be encouraged to shoulder the burden of trying to improve the world in the same breath. While I agree that you can't totally shut out what's happening in the world, I think you need to spend time on developing your own personal boundaries and energy reserves well before you get to this stage.

Overall, I think this would have been an excellent article, but went on a bit too much in book form for me since it all felt very general. I think it could have benefitted from some more concrete examples and a walkthrough on how to handle sample situations. Personal stories from others could also have contributed to help keep the reading interesting and provide more specific content.

[Mandy Hazen · Rating 5 out of 5]

How frustrating is it to be told by all the different sources the things you must do to be successful in life? This book definitely does NOT do that. It instead takes an empathetic approach and gives bite size approaches and allows you to have kindness and patience with yourself when dealing with life. This is so necessary for everyone to read in life. I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Alexis · Rating 5 out of 5]

*I received this book as an e-ARC from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.*

I don't think I could've clicked the request button any faster than I did for this book. Setting boundaries has become a pretty big area of my life that I've chosen to really grow in (hi, I'm a Type Two on the enneagram) so Making Space was absolutely perfect for the current season I'm in.

This book had a solid flow to it and I liked how Hardy broke up the sections into different areas of your life where you can apply boundaries (work, relationships, etc). The last chapter threw me for a loop because I didn't fully see the connection between boundaries and fighting for change, but her words were impactful nonetheless.

I wound up making an album on my phone to organize my highlighted screenshots I took while reading. Below are some of my favorite nuggets of advice that stood out to me:

* "...what has worked for us may not work for someone else; our answer might not be their answer."
* "Those yeses of our are valuable because they're a gift of our resources to another. Don't scatter them around like confetti."
* "...you deserve your own kindness, even when you've messed up."

There were many times where I felt like Hardy was calling me out, but I needed it and I appreciated it. There's a particular section when she's discussing how others might react to your boundaries -

"Newly found boundaries often highlight the people in our lives who prospered from our having none. The resistance can be symptomatic of their self-interest. Their reaction says little about our boundaries but quite a lot about their character and their lofty expectations of us, not to mention what they stand to lose when we get our boundaries into shape."

My jaw dropped. You see, since I've started to be more intentional with setting boundaries, I've had people react negatively; I've had to tell myself that their reaction was a reflection of them and not me; I've had to remind myself that boundaries are okay and they are necessary. Making Space only further drilled this message into my brain.

Another action I took that was inspired by the book was shutting off all my phone notifications. Not only has it reduced my screen time significantly, but I have noticed a decrease in my anxiety as well! I feel more in control and it's pretty amazing.

I would highly recommend this book to my fellow Type Twos and anyone who is curious about or wants to grow in the topic of boundaries. Overall, I'm giving Making Space 5 leaves!

[Nikki · Rating 3 out of 5]

Making Space: How to Live Happier by Setting Boundaries That Work for You by Jayne Hardy
Narrated by: Pearl Hewitt
Publisher: Tantor Audio
Genre: Nonfiction (Adult) | Self-Help
Release Date: January 5, 2021

Making Space by Jayne Hardy is a book about boundaries.

The narration by Pearl Hewitt was wonderful! I loved her tone, voice, and accent.

I enjoyed this book, but I felt like it was missing something. There was a lot of information about opportunities for creating boundaries, what boundaries are, and why they are important. What I found missing was how to create boundaries and what to do when there is pushback or conflict because of the boundary.

I found the most useful chapter was about creating boundaries regarding social media. The author posed the question about whether we would buy a magazine if we didn't like the content and compared it to how we blindly consume content on social media. I definitely will be changing how I view the content I see on social media and using the unfollow button more frequently.

I'm so grateful to Jayne Hardy, Tantor Audio, and NetGalley for providing me with a free copy of this ARC audiobook in exchange for my honest review.

[Jessica Rossi · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'd recommend this book for anyone who is looking to establish an initial foundation or understanding of boundaries. It could also serve as a nice refresh if you feel your boundaries are out of whack. Making Space offers a variety of examples across different areas of your life (children, relationships, technology, work) where boundaries are useful and offers some tried and true recommendations for where you can instill or adjust your boundaries.

If you've already done a lot of work with boundaries and looking for a deeper approach, with new or innovative ideas, this book may not be the best fit for you.

Thank you to NetGalley for access to the audio version of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[winnie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Setting boundaries is something that you would think should come naturally to everyone when in reality, it doesn’t. I enjoyed reading this book! Jayne Hardy touched on making space in several main aspects of one’s life - within relationships, in a digital age, at work, and culturally to name a few.

On the difference between assertion and aggression: “When we stand up for ourselves and what we believe in, we can do so respectfully, honestly, mindfully, and calmly, with an open-mindedness and willingness to negotiate if need be and to acknowledge conflicting views [...] We don’t want to win to the detriment of another, we simply want to affirm our beliefs and opinions, and not compromise ourselves in the process.”

[Alex Kearney · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really needed to read anything on boundaries so this had an impact beyond the 3 stars I’m giving it.

For the most part it’s a really good introduction to the subject. It got pretty repetitive after a while and included a random chapter on social justice which lauded the work of Greta Thunberg and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. I got the feeling that this book could’ve been about anything in the world and the author would’ve taken the opportunity to preach a chapter’s worth on abortion “rights” and climate change.

Anyways, I only borrowed this from the library because they didn’t have Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend. Besides the bad stuff, it helped me a lot.

[Makayla · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. Thank you Jayne for writing a book that feels like a letter from your best friend or your inner self. It not only validates all your feelings of self betrayal and people pleasing - it lovingly nudges you towards a path of self love (both easy and hard truths). It gives a variety of examples and life scenarios were boundaries are not respected and where they can be strengthened and how.
This book was easy to read and including exercises to reflect on the content which I find important. You can't expect to change without integrating what you learn.

[Brianna · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received a free ARC of the audiobook from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. This book was a delight to listen to. It’s jam packed with helpful tips and strategies for setting and maintaining boundaries in a variety of ways: interpersonally, digitally, at work, in different relationships. It’s great for any boundary-setter: someone trying to learn how, someone already practicing, and the experienced enforcer. You’ll surely learn something new or find validation and meaning within the pages of this book.

[Kidron Tirey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hardy pens a guidebook for boundaries that shines as truest gold. I cannot say enough noble things about the useful and practical way this book entreats the reader. The content is not merely presented at the theoretical level but is heavily shaped at eye-level, like a mirror that reflects astute and detailed reflections that can be clearly and objectively observed/identified. This book is an easy read yet deeply informed. Bravo all-around.

[Maggie · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a former no-boundaries human who still struggles on the daily to set and maintain healthy boundaries, I needed to hear every single word of this. I’ll definitely be listening to it again! The author so clearly struggled and overcame these issues herself which makes her words about it that much more powerful. She really digs into the heart of the issue.

[Kat · Rating 3 out of 5]

I recieved an audiobook from netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

I enjoyed her perspective and learned a few new things while reading this. I found the audio lacked a little. It was difficult for me to stay interested which is why I finished it without putting it down.

[OjoAusana · Rating 4 out of 5]

*received for free from netgalley for honest review* Definitely worth the read, found most of this pretty worth while and interesting

[Gena · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some useful tidbits and definitions. Helpful for those looking for an 'I've been there too' rather than an expert's research and through guidance.

[Isabel Batteria · Rating 2 out of 5]

What a bland, shallow book.

[meredith · Rating 3 out of 5]

Just okay - not amazing. Definitely brought up some good points about boundaries and some good food for thought, but got bored by the end of the book.

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Making Space was a perfect crash course on appropriate boundary setting. I especially loved the font, which seemed to make the words even more important. The activities at the end of the chapters perfectly complemented the lessons learned. I feel more armed in appropriately setting and keeping boundaries at work and at home. I know this will help make my life even better!

I received an advanced readers edition of this book, but all views are my own.

[Charmin · Rating 3 out of 5]

HIGHLIGHTS:
1. BOUNDARIES:
- Our body tells us to “pay attention”.
- Stop giving away power.
- Stop taking responsibility for things that are NOT yours.

2. SORROW:
- To be seen and acceptance without resistance.

3. KIDS:
- Empower the kids “no”.
- kids can decide who they want to hug and kiss (body).
- Privacy of sharing their thoughts.

[Ellie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I listened to “Making Space” by Jayne Hardy over the course of two days at 1.5 speed. It was the first audiobook I’ve gotten to review for Netgalley and it was a memorable one at that. I was pleased that the author sprinkled plenty of helpful psychological references and helpful reminders throughout the book.

One of the hallmark themes of the book is that we are not often taught how to create our own boundaries growing up. In fact, we are told to be obedient and comply blindly as children and teens. The author implores that we try to give our children the autonomy and space needed (as developmentally appropriate, of course).

Another important theme that the author touches on, reminds us not to take on other people’s responsibilities—in fact it harms their growth! Not to mention that taking on other people’s duties can sometimes be overbearing, infringing, and co-dependent. Truth bomb. To conclude, the author reminds us that “our happiness is our responsibility” and that we should get used to giving and taking.

**The PDF that I enjoyed was an advanced reader copy granted to me through Netgalley. All opinions are my own and not that of the publisher.**

[Sam · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received this from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

This book would be really helpful for the introverts and people pleasers in your life.

[Pamela Sweezy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m recommending this to everyone who works for others more than they take care of themselves.