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Enough: Notes From a Woman Who Has Finally Found It
For women everywhere, a collection of fierce and often funny personal essays on finding enough, from writer Shauna M. Ahern, of Gluten-Free Girl fame.
Like so many American women, Shauna M. Ahern spent decades feeling not good enough about her body, about money, and about her worth in this culture. For a decade, with the help of her husband, she ran a successful food blog, wrote award-winning cookbooks, and raised two children. In the midst of this, at age 48, she suffered a mini-stroke. Tests revealed she would recover fully, but when her doctor impressed upon her that emotional stress can cause physical damage, she dove deep inside herself to understand and let go of a lifetime of damaging patterns of thought.
With candor and humor, Ahern traces the arc of her life in essays, starting with the feeling of "not good enough" which was sown in a traumatic childhood and dogged her well into adulthood. She writes about finding her rage, which led her to find her enduring motto: enough pretending. And she chronicles how these phases have opened the door to living more joyfully today with mostly enough: friends, family, and her community.
Readers will be moved by Ahern's brave stories. They will also find themselves in these essays, since we all have to find our own definition of enough.
Like so many American women, Shauna M. Ahern spent decades feeling not good enough about her body, about money, and about her worth in this culture. For a decade, with the help of her husband, she ran a successful food blog, wrote award-winning cookbooks, and raised two children. In the midst of this, at age 48, she suffered a mini-stroke. Tests revealed she would recover fully, but when her doctor impressed upon her that emotional stress can cause physical damage, she dove deep inside herself to understand and let go of a lifetime of damaging patterns of thought.
With candor and humor, Ahern traces the arc of her life in essays, starting with the feeling of "not good enough" which was sown in a traumatic childhood and dogged her well into adulthood. She writes about finding her rage, which led her to find her enduring motto: enough pretending. And she chronicles how these phases have opened the door to living more joyfully today with mostly enough: friends, family, and her community.
Readers will be moved by Ahern's brave stories. They will also find themselves in these essays, since we all have to find our own definition of enough.
224 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 8, 2019
91 people are currently reading
1797 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 109 reviews
September 16, 2019
Ever wonder what happens when a teenage girl doesn't outgrow her "not like other girls!" phase? You get this book. Ahern comes across as petty, misogynistic, and self-important in this painful, bratty memoir.
November 13, 2019
A good bit of the reason I wanted to read this book is that I had read fellow food writer Ahern’s earlier memoir/self-help book, Gluten-Free Girl: How I Found the Food That Loves Me Back…And How You Can Too ten years ago and in it, she hints about her childhood in a way that made me think it was less than rosy but didn't really get into it. I am a memoir lover (I’ve read over 35 this year alone) so I picked it up right away wanting to know more.
She certainly does flesh out her childhood in this memoir but unfortunately, it is in a clunky way that raises more questions than answers. Some (most) of her stories just don’t sound quite right. For example, we are to believe that she had a gym teacher in the 1970s who insists that the sole activities the class can do for the entire year are jump rope for girls and baseball for boys. This is solved by young Shauna marching into her principal’s office and reciting the Title IX ruling. Obviously, children’s memories can be faulty but this (and many other) stories of her elementary school life are so implausible as to be a bit ridiculous. Why include them? Any adult knows these stories don’t ring true at all. Why didn’t she ask her mother (who is still living, as is her father) about these times? Or think critically about them and realize that at age 6 it may have seemed like it she taught reading while the teacher took a break but that it was more likely that the children took turns reading while the teacher sat in the back of the room?
She tells stories about how unpopular, unsocialized and friendless she was but then reveals that she started a Beatles club (in the 1980s!) that had nearly 90 members and slumber parties and even formed a band with her brother and her friends. She is even friends with at least one of these women today. I think she still suffers from what I think of as “missing out syndrome” where a child thinks everyone is having fun without them when really they are reading a book and going to bed at 8 pm as well. The stories of her college years and young adulthood similarly sound like exaggerations for effect.
Her story about how she became inspired to write this book sounds off to me too–she has a “mini-stroke”/TIA yet her doctor says she is in peak shape in every way physically with great blood pressure and cholesterol levels (then later in the book she says she lowered her blood pressure and cholesterol quite substantially after the TIA– so which is it?) and that she should really be looking into other areas of her life for ways she can improve. He asks her--What’s keeping from her from sleeping soundly? Does she have stress she can alleviate? Then he asks “Where in your life are you not feeling good enough?” which in the setting–a doctor’s office after a TIA–clearly comes across as the doctor asking her how she can improve her physical health. Most people would probably answer “I could exercise more to reduce stress, increase my cardiac health and help my sleep” but Ahern sees it as a call to examine why she has never felt like “enough” in her personal life. Either she grossly misinterpreted her doctor's question or she is fabricating a colorful backstory for this latest memoir.
The essay about her failed gluten-free flour business is really appalling. She freely admits to doing little research before starting a Kickstarter campaign that nets her $92,000. She claims that no one told her that you would spend all that money on thank you rewards. This is obviously not true because she set the awards up herself before the campaign went live and in no way did they equal over $92k. She talks about google being her best friend and how she spends her time looking up things like shipping, how to set up a business account, trademarking, --- all after she accepts the Kickstarter money. Some error apparently goes unnoticed for a long time (one can only assume because she has zero clue what she is doing) which results in her not collecting shipping money from the orders and she decides to shut down the business and that she isn’t made for running a business. That’s incredibly evident but a conclusion she could have reached by actually researching anything about the flour business before starting it and taking $92K of other people’s money. It's really gross and she even mentions that's it is easy to start a business if you have a trust fund but come on, she had $92K+ no strings attached start up money from complete strangers, was broke so didn't invest any of her own money and took out zero business loans--not a trust fund but not that far off either.
Her money woes are evident again in the essay about her brief stint working in a grocery store bakery. I’m glad she accepted that she needed to take a regular job to pay the bills and get insurance for her children but the whole essay smacks of poverty tourism. She ends it by saying she left the store for a better-paying gig (then another when that one ended) and that her husband only works a few days a week “for the community” vs needing the money. It really came across as gross and condescending to people who actually work in grocery stores for more than just a fill-gap lark.
She blames her mother for virtually everything that went wrong in her life from her protracted virginity to where she went to college but never places any blame on her father who had at least one affair, and did things like dragging his agoraphobic wife to live in a stranger's house in England and then let her keep the children out of school for company when he wouldn't let her go home to California. Her parents are still together so he was there her entire childhood--he even coached her team. I can see how this was rough on her as a child but as an adult, you'd think she'd have a more nuanced view of the situation. She does not.
She has some real issues with women, feminity and gender roles. Most of her thinking seems stuck in a past that even she didn’t live in. The popular girls are always blonde, girls are catty, girls wear dresses instead of practical overalls, women are supposed to be demure, women don’t cuss. The list goes on and on. Ahern is aggressively “not like other girls” in a way that is odd for a 50+-year-old woman. There is no nuance in her world. She thinks being “nice” is fake and refuses to fake it anymore but her examples of being nice–holding doors open, apologizing when you hit someone with a shopping cart– seem to be just common courtesy. Do you need to apologize for sitting in an open seat or being first in line? No. But if you bang into someone at the grocery store, an acknowledgment and a brief “sorry” is just a part of living in a society. She doesn’t seem to be able to recognize the difference between basic manners and women undermining themselves. She then takes it to a bizarre extreme and says being “nice” is also ignoring the extermination of Jews during the Holocaust. I don’t even know where to begin with that. Then she makes a strange pivot to drag queens and being fierce that is garbled, a bit offensive and tone-deaf. It’s a puzzling leap. She flat out says most people are pretending to be happy and satisfied. I think she is neither but surely many are? She comes across as a less articulate Holden Caulfield at middle age.
She seems completely unable to realize what is universal (puberty is rough on everyone) and what isn’t (everyone is faking their lives according to Ahern which simply isn’t true) and this colors the bulk of the book. Most of her stories are very, very particular to her but then she makes these attempts to connect it to the rest of the world so we can find our “enough” but it never quite works. The whole book vacillates between trying to be on the self-help spectrum and being a regular memoir in essay form but does neither terribly well.
Her daughter’s health issues and her husband’s surprise admission that he drinks basically 24 hrs a day every day and has for decades a few days before she gives birth seem like they would have been more of a source of stress than her childhood but she links even her husband’s issues back to her parents–they didn’t drink so she didn’t know what was normal. It seems very stunted and unexplored.
I don’t think this book really holds up to the title at all. Ahern comes across as a deeply unhappy woman to this day. I do not believe she found “enough”. I do not recommend this ultimately very frustrating book to anyone looking for inspiration or hope. I find it strange and maddening that in a book about finding your "enough", truthtelling and honest reflection she seems to have made up or exaggerated so many of her examples in order to make her murky point.
However, it is a very short book. The print is large and some “essays” are just lists of her thoughts about various body parts. If you were a huge fan of her blog or her current Instagram account and you want to know more about her, it may be worth checking out. Be forewarned it is not a funny or joyful book. There is no call to action to find “enough” in your own life or tips on how to accomplish this.
I get into a few more details about this book in my review on my book review blog from which parts of this review are taken.
She certainly does flesh out her childhood in this memoir but unfortunately, it is in a clunky way that raises more questions than answers. Some (most) of her stories just don’t sound quite right. For example, we are to believe that she had a gym teacher in the 1970s who insists that the sole activities the class can do for the entire year are jump rope for girls and baseball for boys. This is solved by young Shauna marching into her principal’s office and reciting the Title IX ruling. Obviously, children’s memories can be faulty but this (and many other) stories of her elementary school life are so implausible as to be a bit ridiculous. Why include them? Any adult knows these stories don’t ring true at all. Why didn’t she ask her mother (who is still living, as is her father) about these times? Or think critically about them and realize that at age 6 it may have seemed like it she taught reading while the teacher took a break but that it was more likely that the children took turns reading while the teacher sat in the back of the room?
She tells stories about how unpopular, unsocialized and friendless she was but then reveals that she started a Beatles club (in the 1980s!) that had nearly 90 members and slumber parties and even formed a band with her brother and her friends. She is even friends with at least one of these women today. I think she still suffers from what I think of as “missing out syndrome” where a child thinks everyone is having fun without them when really they are reading a book and going to bed at 8 pm as well. The stories of her college years and young adulthood similarly sound like exaggerations for effect.
Her story about how she became inspired to write this book sounds off to me too–she has a “mini-stroke”/TIA yet her doctor says she is in peak shape in every way physically with great blood pressure and cholesterol levels (then later in the book she says she lowered her blood pressure and cholesterol quite substantially after the TIA– so which is it?) and that she should really be looking into other areas of her life for ways she can improve. He asks her--What’s keeping from her from sleeping soundly? Does she have stress she can alleviate? Then he asks “Where in your life are you not feeling good enough?” which in the setting–a doctor’s office after a TIA–clearly comes across as the doctor asking her how she can improve her physical health. Most people would probably answer “I could exercise more to reduce stress, increase my cardiac health and help my sleep” but Ahern sees it as a call to examine why she has never felt like “enough” in her personal life. Either she grossly misinterpreted her doctor's question or she is fabricating a colorful backstory for this latest memoir.
The essay about her failed gluten-free flour business is really appalling. She freely admits to doing little research before starting a Kickstarter campaign that nets her $92,000. She claims that no one told her that you would spend all that money on thank you rewards. This is obviously not true because she set the awards up herself before the campaign went live and in no way did they equal over $92k. She talks about google being her best friend and how she spends her time looking up things like shipping, how to set up a business account, trademarking, --- all after she accepts the Kickstarter money. Some error apparently goes unnoticed for a long time (one can only assume because she has zero clue what she is doing) which results in her not collecting shipping money from the orders and she decides to shut down the business and that she isn’t made for running a business. That’s incredibly evident but a conclusion she could have reached by actually researching anything about the flour business before starting it and taking $92K of other people’s money. It's really gross and she even mentions that's it is easy to start a business if you have a trust fund but come on, she had $92K+ no strings attached start up money from complete strangers, was broke so didn't invest any of her own money and took out zero business loans--not a trust fund but not that far off either.
Her money woes are evident again in the essay about her brief stint working in a grocery store bakery. I’m glad she accepted that she needed to take a regular job to pay the bills and get insurance for her children but the whole essay smacks of poverty tourism. She ends it by saying she left the store for a better-paying gig (then another when that one ended) and that her husband only works a few days a week “for the community” vs needing the money. It really came across as gross and condescending to people who actually work in grocery stores for more than just a fill-gap lark.
She blames her mother for virtually everything that went wrong in her life from her protracted virginity to where she went to college but never places any blame on her father who had at least one affair, and did things like dragging his agoraphobic wife to live in a stranger's house in England and then let her keep the children out of school for company when he wouldn't let her go home to California. Her parents are still together so he was there her entire childhood--he even coached her team. I can see how this was rough on her as a child but as an adult, you'd think she'd have a more nuanced view of the situation. She does not.
She has some real issues with women, feminity and gender roles. Most of her thinking seems stuck in a past that even she didn’t live in. The popular girls are always blonde, girls are catty, girls wear dresses instead of practical overalls, women are supposed to be demure, women don’t cuss. The list goes on and on. Ahern is aggressively “not like other girls” in a way that is odd for a 50+-year-old woman. There is no nuance in her world. She thinks being “nice” is fake and refuses to fake it anymore but her examples of being nice–holding doors open, apologizing when you hit someone with a shopping cart– seem to be just common courtesy. Do you need to apologize for sitting in an open seat or being first in line? No. But if you bang into someone at the grocery store, an acknowledgment and a brief “sorry” is just a part of living in a society. She doesn’t seem to be able to recognize the difference between basic manners and women undermining themselves. She then takes it to a bizarre extreme and says being “nice” is also ignoring the extermination of Jews during the Holocaust. I don’t even know where to begin with that. Then she makes a strange pivot to drag queens and being fierce that is garbled, a bit offensive and tone-deaf. It’s a puzzling leap. She flat out says most people are pretending to be happy and satisfied. I think she is neither but surely many are? She comes across as a less articulate Holden Caulfield at middle age.
She seems completely unable to realize what is universal (puberty is rough on everyone) and what isn’t (everyone is faking their lives according to Ahern which simply isn’t true) and this colors the bulk of the book. Most of her stories are very, very particular to her but then she makes these attempts to connect it to the rest of the world so we can find our “enough” but it never quite works. The whole book vacillates between trying to be on the self-help spectrum and being a regular memoir in essay form but does neither terribly well.
Her daughter’s health issues and her husband’s surprise admission that he drinks basically 24 hrs a day every day and has for decades a few days before she gives birth seem like they would have been more of a source of stress than her childhood but she links even her husband’s issues back to her parents–they didn’t drink so she didn’t know what was normal. It seems very stunted and unexplored.
I don’t think this book really holds up to the title at all. Ahern comes across as a deeply unhappy woman to this day. I do not believe she found “enough”. I do not recommend this ultimately very frustrating book to anyone looking for inspiration or hope. I find it strange and maddening that in a book about finding your "enough", truthtelling and honest reflection she seems to have made up or exaggerated so many of her examples in order to make her murky point.
However, it is a very short book. The print is large and some “essays” are just lists of her thoughts about various body parts. If you were a huge fan of her blog or her current Instagram account and you want to know more about her, it may be worth checking out. Be forewarned it is not a funny or joyful book. There is no call to action to find “enough” in your own life or tips on how to accomplish this.
I get into a few more details about this book in my review on my book review blog from which parts of this review are taken.
October 10, 2019
Poorly written, annoying, and pretentious.
November 8, 2019
As a fan of GFG recipes, this is a chance to learn more about Shauna and see her peel back the happy facade a bit (especially from earlier books and blog posts). It is interesting to see how her childhood struggles impacted her as a young adult and still today. Unfortunately, she seems very self-involved. There is a strong sense that she is the first person to struggle with much of what she discusses in this book - both with her family and in her personal challenges. There are also multiple times where she glosses over her responsibility in a situation and seems to blame her spot on those around her or on society as a whole. I would understand if this perspective was just in her early years, but it continues throughout the book and into her recent experiences. I like Shauna's descriptive writing, but as others have mentioned, this book jumped around unneccessarily. Overall, I finished wondering if this book would've been published if she hadn't already been a published author.
August 16, 2019
Took me a bit to get into this because someone story telling in a self help kind of way isn’t my kind of book ! Her story was sad growing up and her child skull issues frightening ! She went through a lot and came out okay at the end ! The writing was good but as I said I’m not a fan of this book at times I caught myself falling asleep ! This book wasn’t for me !
November 20, 2019
Shauna seems late to the party. Late to accept herself. Late to acknowledge the truth of her childhood. Late to cash in on “Me Too” by writing a book.
Her cry of “I don’t need you!” rings so false. You do need us. You needed us to read your blog (which I now know was just a lie). You need us to comment on your Instagram. You need us to buy your book.
And I hope I never have “Enough” in the way she describe it. I never want to have enough of being the best me. I never want to have enough travel and adventure. I never want to look at my life an say I have had enough.
A much better and truer version of this story is Roxanne Gay’s. Read that instead of this.
Her cry of “I don’t need you!” rings so false. You do need us. You needed us to read your blog (which I now know was just a lie). You need us to comment on your Instagram. You need us to buy your book.
And I hope I never have “Enough” in the way she describe it. I never want to have enough of being the best me. I never want to have enough travel and adventure. I never want to look at my life an say I have had enough.
A much better and truer version of this story is Roxanne Gay’s. Read that instead of this.
December 15, 2019
I read an essay/excerpt from this and was curious to read more. Turns out that essay and the section it was in was more than enough.
October 23, 2019
I've followed Ahern's writing since her Gluten-Free Girl days and watched her grow into a writer with a clear, lucid, heart-filled, honest voice. I—along with countless others—am a serious fan of the new Shauna, who shares candid, messy, sometimes transcendent moments from her life as a mom, wife, writer, cook, and community member on Vachon Island, WA, along with social commentary from a feminist perspective. Go, Shauna!
So I was shocked when I saw very poor early reviews on Goodreads for this new memoir and I wondered how on earth that could be. (The Washington Posthas since published a very positive review.)
Ok, I've just finished it and I have a theory.
This book...is so brave. The whole first section shares the traumatic pain she experienced through childhood, teen and young adult years. I won't share any spoilers, save to make note of her wording in the introduction, which kind of tipped me off: "...And for my parents, whom I know do love me. I know now they did the best they could." Oh, dear.
I can't imagine how painful it was for her to process and write about this. And to me that—and want of a superb editor, no offense!—may explain why the first section of the book is so awkwardly, frustratingly organized, with lots of inexplicable switching back and forth in time. You know how some books flip time very effectively? This isn't one of them.
But by the time we get past the core traumatic experiences of her early life, she starts to sail as a writer. I found myself savoring her prose, her honesty, and especially her ability to reveal the awe in the everyday for which I and so many others love her.
When I was stuck in the doldrums after the beginning of the book, my dear friend Rebecca said, just keep going, Jo! I would offer the same advice to you. :)
So I was shocked when I saw very poor early reviews on Goodreads for this new memoir and I wondered how on earth that could be. (The Washington Posthas since published a very positive review.)
Ok, I've just finished it and I have a theory.
This book...is so brave. The whole first section shares the traumatic pain she experienced through childhood, teen and young adult years. I won't share any spoilers, save to make note of her wording in the introduction, which kind of tipped me off: "...And for my parents, whom I know do love me. I know now they did the best they could." Oh, dear.
I can't imagine how painful it was for her to process and write about this. And to me that—and want of a superb editor, no offense!—may explain why the first section of the book is so awkwardly, frustratingly organized, with lots of inexplicable switching back and forth in time. You know how some books flip time very effectively? This isn't one of them.
But by the time we get past the core traumatic experiences of her early life, she starts to sail as a writer. I found myself savoring her prose, her honesty, and especially her ability to reveal the awe in the everyday for which I and so many others love her.
When I was stuck in the doldrums after the beginning of the book, my dear friend Rebecca said, just keep going, Jo! I would offer the same advice to you. :)
November 10, 2019
A fairly short, boring read. Similar to lots of memoirs out there with nothing unique or interesting to recommend it.
January 5, 2020
Painfully self-aggrandizing essays from a woman who comes across as bitter, preachy and deeply judgemental of anyone different from herself. Ahern endured a difficult childhood and adolescence due to her mother's mental illness and parts of the book appear directed by revenge. I can't imagine what her parents must feel in reading this.
An uncomfortable and ultimately annoying read.
An uncomfortable and ultimately annoying read.
October 9, 2019
What a mess. Wonderful, sweet, often scary mess – a journey – a life. There's no structure to this memoir-meets-personal-essays collection, but there's no structure to life either (I would know that best...) Ahern mentions towards the end of the book that she is 52 – I'm 42 and this book makes me look forward to my fifties, when hopefully I, too, will find my "enough".
November 13, 2019
Couldn’t get through this, as much as I tried.
June 14, 2020
I loved this memoir. It’s another book about someone who grew up in a dysfunctional family and persevered and survived. The issues she talks about are very relevant today; mental health, weight loss and loving yourself, alcoholism, running a small business and many more. She is funny, irreverent and straight talking.
I listened to the audiobook which was narrated by Shauna herself which added to it.
I listened to the audiobook which was narrated by Shauna herself which added to it.
June 4, 2020
I am so shocked by the other reviews of this book. I felt Shauna's story described a difficult childhood and how she managed to move forward with her life. The story is not necessarily a happy tale, but I found a lot of comfort in her words and experiences as I could see a little bit of myself in her story. Other reviewers claim she complains too much, or wasn't realistic in what running a business takes. I really do not share those views at all. I think she provided a real life experience, particularly when living through a traumatic childhood. I enjoyed the book and feel it took a lot of bravery to write and publish this book. Perhaps others do not share the experiences of a traumatic childhood or the issues that stem from a fraut relationship with parents who have serious mental health issues but I would suggest taking the compassionate view towards the author. I certainly think she deserves compassion at a minimum.
October 21, 2019
I really love Shauna’s writing and have relished in her words since her early blog days. The essays skip around and aren’t really in a specific order, but I gobbled up every word. She’s raw and honest the whole way through which makes it relatable because she shares the good and bad of life, keeps it so real. Really beautifully written.
November 10, 2019
Oh Shauna. I haven’t cried this hard in years because of a book. I felt as if I was living these moments with you. The last page... ugh the last page. I’m actively sobbing in my bookstore *with patrons in it* and I have never been less ashamed.
You strong, beautiful, badass bitch.
Spoiler alert: we are all enough.
You strong, beautiful, badass bitch.
Spoiler alert: we are all enough.
October 22, 2019
A heartening read
So much in our world says we need to be something different than we are or have that one more thing to be happy. This is a book that says it’s okay to accept yourself. Shauna’s story is compelling and life giving.
So much in our world says we need to be something different than we are or have that one more thing to be happy. This is a book that says it’s okay to accept yourself. Shauna’s story is compelling and life giving.
November 21, 2019
This was more of a collection of essays than a straight up memoir, but it still had a narrative arc. It was very, very good, although about a very traumatic childhood due to her mother's mental illness. I really appreciated how open and honest her account seemed to be.
December 15, 2019
So one star on GoodReads means "I didn't like it" which is why I chose that rating. Some of the writing was interesting, especially the intro section. After that, the book took a different turn than I was expecting for this type of book and I didn't like it.
January 9, 2020
A good memoir, but it is a bit scattered into several different themes--weight, parent issues, mothering, work, etc. Ahern is likable so I stuck with it. The most interesting part to me was her making sense of her mother's OCD behavior.
February 11, 2020
I feel like the book was missing the "so what" at the end. I didn't really find the main message behind the stories or her experiences much, but that's just me.
February 14, 2020
I picked this book out thinking it would help me to learn how to do with less. However, although Enough does have some ideas hidden in Shauna Ahern's life story, that is not the point of the book. This is more of a autobiography of acceptance and learning to love oneself, admitting when one is in over one's head, healing and accepting a difficult childhood, and rewritting your future.
I probably would have awarded this with 5 stars if the book fit my needs. I gave it 4 instead because it fit my needs despite its topic.
It was sometimes sad but generally hopeful as well as a very quick read. I waited way too long to begin reading this very overdue library book. It's pretty good, give it a try for something different.
I probably would have awarded this with 5 stars if the book fit my needs. I gave it 4 instead because it fit my needs despite its topic.
It was sometimes sad but generally hopeful as well as a very quick read. I waited way too long to begin reading this very overdue library book. It's pretty good, give it a try for something different.
February 7, 2022
I choose this book to read for my one little word ENOUGH for 2022. I thought it was a self help book but it is more of a memoir of Shauna's life. I listened on audio. I did not know Shauna before choosing this book. Unfortunately, this book did not help my journey of exploring the word Enough. Just not my cup of tea.
September 9, 2024
Wow some of these reviews are so mean 💔
“True compassion means that every time you go into a room, you look around to see who in the room needs the most compassion.
But you count yourself as one of the people in the room." This had never occurred to me.
It was a quick read with some highlights. This was my favorite quote.
“True compassion means that every time you go into a room, you look around to see who in the room needs the most compassion.
But you count yourself as one of the people in the room." This had never occurred to me.
It was a quick read with some highlights. This was my favorite quote.
January 17, 2020
Okay, and at least I didn’t wanna throttle Ahern anywhere near as much as, say, Hollis…
My Full Review
My Full Review
February 25, 2023
0.5/5⭐—i was recommended this as a joke and warned ahead of time that it isn't good. but i try to give books a fair shake even when they're heralded by iffy reviews because i try to give people and places a chance too. and enough is not the type of thing i often read. i feel less confident about my ability to critique memoirs and autobiographies compared with fiction (and nonfiction about my specialties). however, when i do read memoirs, i often like them. this one was not for me.
before this book, i read I'm Glad My Mom Died. enough is like an early genX version in more than a few ways, so when i saw similarities, i got my hopes up. but i'm glad my mom died this ain't. i had trouble figuring out why i didn't connect with the book at all. was it because mccurdy is close to my age and ahern is close to my mom's? or that i have more in common with mccurdy than ahern? i don't usually suffer from a relatability gap when i read. i don't have to find a book relatable to like it.
by the halfway point i finally realized what the problem was: a lot of the things in this book feel fake.
i'm not trying to say to ahern that what happened to her didn't actually happen to her. i'm not here to invalidate other people's experiences. but her editor should have made sure the stories felt true to someone who hadn't lived them, because they don't feel true. the stories in this book feel like kernels of truth obscured by exaggeration. so many things she says about her life don't square with each other. in reality, they must have, but she doesn't write them like they do, and that's a problem—a memoir needs more than anything to feel true. A Million Little Pieces felt more real than this book, and that's not a compliment.
the odd writing style doesn't help with this. the prose struggles under repetitive stylistic and punctuation habits that should have been edited out or streamlined. you could make a drinking game out of them. and the book tries for all the prose tropes you often see in memoirs—it wants to be urgent and vulnerable with a lot of little details to add weight and verisimilitude. but instead of urgent and important, the stories feel rushed. there's a lot of vulnerability but not much introspection about it or what it means to the broader thesis of the book (and the attempt to tie it all back in the thin ending is really weak). most annoyingly of all, the little details cloud everything. you know how time has felt both too fast and too slow since 2016 and especially since 2020? reading this book feels like a concentrated hit of that, and it's all because of the hundred irrelevant details weighing everything down. they make the stories seem less real, not more.
the book doesn't build up to anything and the resolutions to all her problems feel pretty weak. and then it's just over. i wasn't having a good time and wasn't hoping for more, but there needed to be more of a wrap-up.
the half-star is for the occasional entertainment value. like how during a make-out session, ahern's husband tells her twice that she tastes like truffles...and she tells him she hasn't eaten any. if i can be a millennial for a second: 💀
before this book, i read I'm Glad My Mom Died. enough is like an early genX version in more than a few ways, so when i saw similarities, i got my hopes up. but i'm glad my mom died this ain't. i had trouble figuring out why i didn't connect with the book at all. was it because mccurdy is close to my age and ahern is close to my mom's? or that i have more in common with mccurdy than ahern? i don't usually suffer from a relatability gap when i read. i don't have to find a book relatable to like it.
by the halfway point i finally realized what the problem was: a lot of the things in this book feel fake.
i'm not trying to say to ahern that what happened to her didn't actually happen to her. i'm not here to invalidate other people's experiences. but her editor should have made sure the stories felt true to someone who hadn't lived them, because they don't feel true. the stories in this book feel like kernels of truth obscured by exaggeration. so many things she says about her life don't square with each other. in reality, they must have, but she doesn't write them like they do, and that's a problem—a memoir needs more than anything to feel true. A Million Little Pieces felt more real than this book, and that's not a compliment.
the odd writing style doesn't help with this. the prose struggles under repetitive stylistic and punctuation habits that should have been edited out or streamlined. you could make a drinking game out of them. and the book tries for all the prose tropes you often see in memoirs—it wants to be urgent and vulnerable with a lot of little details to add weight and verisimilitude. but instead of urgent and important, the stories feel rushed. there's a lot of vulnerability but not much introspection about it or what it means to the broader thesis of the book (and the attempt to tie it all back in the thin ending is really weak). most annoyingly of all, the little details cloud everything. you know how time has felt both too fast and too slow since 2016 and especially since 2020? reading this book feels like a concentrated hit of that, and it's all because of the hundred irrelevant details weighing everything down. they make the stories seem less real, not more.
the book doesn't build up to anything and the resolutions to all her problems feel pretty weak. and then it's just over. i wasn't having a good time and wasn't hoping for more, but there needed to be more of a wrap-up.
the half-star is for the occasional entertainment value. like how during a make-out session, ahern's husband tells her twice that she tastes like truffles...and she tells him she hasn't eaten any. if i can be a millennial for a second: 💀
October 23, 2020
What a tale of woe! Despite the title, the author seems to be a deeply unhappy woman. She professes to be a mindful Buddhist yet she does nothing but complain, bitterly, about everyone and everything. Many of the memories she writes about are either so far fetched they defy belief (in 5th grade she was told she couldn't play baseball, takes a copy of Title 9 into her principal's office and informs him "This says girls can play baseball. My rights are being abrogated!" and she teaches everyone about discrimination) or are merely mundane enough they could be anyone's memories but they are turned into something sinister (being scarred for life by eating TV dinners in the 70s). Supposedly her mother's panic attacks resulted in Ms Ahern & her brother being held captive and forbidden to the leave the house, yet the author belonged to many after school clubs and her mother even took her dress shopping after she was asked to the prom. Huh? The author and her husband raised over $90,000 in a Kickstarter to start their own gluten free flour business, which they ran into the ground because 1) they did very little research/prep beforehand 2) it was hard work! 3) it wasn't fun. No "thank you" to the people who donated, just a lot of ingratitude and scorn that they expected the rewards they were promised for donating. Ahern somehow manages to shirk all responsibility for this episode. This is a theme throughout the book: literally everything that happens is the fault of other people: her teachers, her parents, her alcoholic husband, etc. I hope the author has found some happiness, but I doubt it; until she learns to accept her own faults and stop holding grudges I fear she is doomed to repeat the same patterns and never feel like she is, in fact, enough.
October 27, 2019
Thank you to a Goodreads, Sasquatch Books, and Shauna M. Ahern for ARC copy of the book. As always, an honest review from me.
Like:
- She was constantly learning about herself and the world around her, growing more
- Discusses her overbearing, emotionally manipulative mother and the effects she had on her childhood and adulthood
- Brings to light abusive and mentally ill parents
- Her mental soundtrack. All her thoughts and life lessons and daily musing that's she's chosen to share with readers through her book. So relatable!
Love:
- Real, raw, relatable
- She learns to set boundaries and stick to them!
- The way she speaks about people and especially her community is beautiful and awe inspiring.
Dislike:
- Wow, her mother didn't allow her to do anything and had brainwashed her into thinking that was okay, even as a young adult
- A very Lena Dunham book at the beginning and I do not like her - thank goodness the entire book isn't like this!
Wish that:
- There was a little more balanced look at life. While this is her story, at times it seems like there is judgment towards people who find happiness in things that bring her unhappiness. Example some people find great joy in a daily morning makeup routine (me!). This isn't her and that's fine. I'm sure she didn't mean to come off as dismissive of other people's different experiences but with a book a little over 200 pages there's definitely room for a few clarifications to appear more inclusive of all experiences.
Overall, a short book that took me awhile to read. It's one of those books that you pick up here and there to read a few pages; not rushing through to the finish line. Kind of like life. I mainly enjoyed it, but there were a few times when I didn't. The author is a very strong, outspoken woman who does not quiet herself for the ease of others. An admirable quality but sometimes it may not make for the type of book you're in the mood for. I highly recommend passing this one around to your friends and enjoying some good life discussions about its content.
Like:
- She was constantly learning about herself and the world around her, growing more
- Discusses her overbearing, emotionally manipulative mother and the effects she had on her childhood and adulthood
- Brings to light abusive and mentally ill parents
- Her mental soundtrack. All her thoughts and life lessons and daily musing that's she's chosen to share with readers through her book. So relatable!
Love:
- Real, raw, relatable
- She learns to set boundaries and stick to them!
- The way she speaks about people and especially her community is beautiful and awe inspiring.
Dislike:
- Wow, her mother didn't allow her to do anything and had brainwashed her into thinking that was okay, even as a young adult
- A very Lena Dunham book at the beginning and I do not like her - thank goodness the entire book isn't like this!
Wish that:
- There was a little more balanced look at life. While this is her story, at times it seems like there is judgment towards people who find happiness in things that bring her unhappiness. Example some people find great joy in a daily morning makeup routine (me!). This isn't her and that's fine. I'm sure she didn't mean to come off as dismissive of other people's different experiences but with a book a little over 200 pages there's definitely room for a few clarifications to appear more inclusive of all experiences.
Overall, a short book that took me awhile to read. It's one of those books that you pick up here and there to read a few pages; not rushing through to the finish line. Kind of like life. I mainly enjoyed it, but there were a few times when I didn't. The author is a very strong, outspoken woman who does not quiet herself for the ease of others. An admirable quality but sometimes it may not make for the type of book you're in the mood for. I highly recommend passing this one around to your friends and enjoying some good life discussions about its content.
January 29, 2020
What a brave, inspiring book! Just finished it and would love to listen to it all over again. I first encountered Shauna when I had recently discovered I needed to eat gluten free. Her first book, Gluten Free Girl, helped me sooooo much! To this day, my Twitter handle pays homage to Shauna and that book.
Reading this new book gives me a whole new appreciation for the sheer stick-to-it-tiveness and guts of this nonconformist. Her revelations of a childhood spent under the absolute control of a paranoid and anxiety-ridden mother would have been more than enough to content this reader, but skilled writer that she is, she intersperses her backstory with flashforwards to her life after escaping from her childhood prison.
The icing on the cake, and what made this a five-star read for me, were her macro ruminations on what it means to have "enough" in life. Her journey through therapy and mindfulness into fully accepting who she is and what life has given her has lessons for every woman who has ever hated her body, hated her looks, doubted her own worth, doubted her own abilities. I think that describes pretty much every woman in America, and we are all richer for Shauna's example.
Reading this new book gives me a whole new appreciation for the sheer stick-to-it-tiveness and guts of this nonconformist. Her revelations of a childhood spent under the absolute control of a paranoid and anxiety-ridden mother would have been more than enough to content this reader, but skilled writer that she is, she intersperses her backstory with flashforwards to her life after escaping from her childhood prison.
The icing on the cake, and what made this a five-star read for me, were her macro ruminations on what it means to have "enough" in life. Her journey through therapy and mindfulness into fully accepting who she is and what life has given her has lessons for every woman who has ever hated her body, hated her looks, doubted her own worth, doubted her own abilities. I think that describes pretty much every woman in America, and we are all richer for Shauna's example.
November 5, 2023
I listened to this audiobook of this essay collection/memoir (it's hard to categorize this book definitively, but to me it definitely has the feel of a memoir even if the story doesn't always move in strict chronological order) in less than 24 hours. At just over 5 hours, it's a relatively quick listen, and very engaging. I found myself relating to the author on so many levels, even though we are very different in terms of many of our life experiences.
In the grand tradition of end-of-year reading categorizations, I'm going to go for a big stretch here again with my 2023 Reading Challenge Category: A romance with a fat lead.
To be 100% clear, this is NOT a romance novel. It is not fiction. It is a memoir/essay collection. BUT the author does self-identify as fat, and there is definitely a love story here. Not just romantic love with her husband (although their love story is definitely present), but self-love, love of children, and family, and community, and the larger world. So yes. To the extent that romance = love story, I'm sticking with this category assignment for my 2023 reading challenge.
In the grand tradition of end-of-year reading categorizations, I'm going to go for a big stretch here again with my 2023 Reading Challenge Category: A romance with a fat lead.
To be 100% clear, this is NOT a romance novel. It is not fiction. It is a memoir/essay collection. BUT the author does self-identify as fat, and there is definitely a love story here. Not just romantic love with her husband (although their love story is definitely present), but self-love, love of children, and family, and community, and the larger world. So yes. To the extent that romance = love story, I'm sticking with this category assignment for my 2023 reading challenge.
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