Communicating with Grace and Virtue: Learning to Listen, Speak, Text, and Interact as a Christian

by Quentin J Schultze

Communications expert Quentin Schultze offers an engaging and practical guide to help Christians interact effectively at home, work, church, school, and beyond. Based on solid biblical principles and drawn from Schultze's own remarkable experiences, this book shows how to practice "servant communication" for a rich and rewarding life. Topics include how to overcome common mistakes, be a more grateful and virtuous communicator, tell stories effectively, reduce conflicts, overcome fears, and communicate well in a high-tech world. Helpful sidebars and text boxes are included.

Genres: Christian

160 pages, Paperback

Published September 1, 2020

Reviews

[Cindy aka "The Book Fairy" · Rating 4 out of 5]

This will be a keeper for me to refer to now and then if not re read even. Such important points when dealing with others as how we say something matters more than what we say in certain situations. Communication is so vital in pretty much all aspects of life and relationships.

He shared a bit about his traumatic childhood but yet didn't negatively affect him later on nor did it serve as an excuse per say. He touched on how essential is for sharing as a Christian and employee as our speech is a reflection of what is in our hearts...for what is most prominent in our hearts(minds) ,will be expressed verbally; true attitudes will prevail eventually.

I learned about why many church doors are painted red....as a visual reminder of many martyr's blood that was shed as those Christians died while paying for the price of being able to worship freely.

He touched on how others can become offended if context is misunderstood as many of us no doubt can relate!
He is such a humble man as I admired that. He wrote about active, true listening, biases, loneliness as life is more satisfying with others (usually anyway) being patient as communication spirals otherwise, being gentle......all sorts of qualities!

Overall, a marvelous book that caused me much pondering, but in a good way, for personal improvement hopefully! Great encouragement and spiritually uplifting :)

[Panda Incognito · Rating 4 out of 5]

Throughout this book, Quentin J. Schultze shares advice for how Christians can steward their words in a way that serves others. Although most of the advice is fairly basic, he offers a strong theological perspective for the importance of communication, sharing both general principles and practical ideas for how Christians can improve their communication skills in their personal relationships, the church, and the corporate world. He shares personal stories about his upbringing in a toxic family environment, showing how people can struggle in relationships because they lack a model for healthy communication, and writes about what a blessing it was that God led him to communication studies shortly after his salvation. I appreciated his transparency and unique perspective.

Servant Communication

Instead of promoting tips for self-centered communication, Schultze casts a vision for "servant communication," emphasizing that words should build others up and honor them, instead of being tools for the speaker to obtain what they want. In that sense, this book is a great alternative to business publications that focus on sealing a deal or promoting oneself, because even though Schultze shares many similar tips about understanding one's context, listening well, talking clearly, and telling stories to cast a vision, he approaches this from a communal and Christian view instead of emphasizing one's self-interest.

Schultze writes about the importance of vulnerability, compassion, understanding diverse backgrounds, and releasing control and blame in order to truly serve others. My one complaint about this book is that the text boxes are often distracting, inserting anecdotes or practical ideas that disrupt the flow of the main text. In most cases, the author could have incorporated the same information into the main text, and whenever it didn't fit with the content or tone, that just made it even more distracting. Someone who likes to skim may appreciate the text boxes, since they draw attention to main ideas, but because I was reading the book straight through, I did not find them helpful.

Digital Media

Schultze also addresses digital engagement. I was very impressed with this part of the book, and appreciate how Schultze wrote about technological communication tools without overestimating or dismissing the worth of text, email, digital presentations, and social media. Instead of conveying a positive or negative stance, he encourages his readers to evaluate these issues on a case-by-case basis, deciding whether or not technological delivery will enhance or hinder a particular message. This focus on finding the right medium warns against overusing technology just because it exists, but also supports it as a meaningful tool in the right situation.

Conclusion

This book provides solid advice for how Christians can serve others with good communication, instead of using their words as self-serving tools or blundering through life without skill or sensitivity. Schultze writes about his difficult upbringing to illustrate the challenges that some people face with communication and relationship skills, and he shares a hopeful message of how people can grow over time in healthy, constructive communication patterns. This book covers advice that is common in other texts on communication, but is unique in its Christian emphasis and focus on compassion, virtue, and service to others. I would recommend this book to anyone who struggles with communication, wants to understand the philosophy and principles behind it, or would benefit from a specifically Christian view of the subject.

I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

[Conrade Yap · Rating 5 out of 5]

Communications seem to be an evergreen topic for discussion. Many schools and universities continue to offer courses that specialize in both the art and science of communications. Books continue to be written about the ways and means to communicate even as we deal with cultural and technological changes. Yet, one thing is to be expected. It is only a matter of time before we encounter difficulties in communications. In other words, there is no way we can separate life from conflicts. Being people from different backgrounds essentially mean that we have to deal with differences sooner or later. Even the best types of relationships require a fair bit of knowledge about conflict management. These include marriages, relationships with office colleagues, social circles, Church communities, online correspondences, and increasingly on social media. Enters the call toward "servant communication" which author and professor Quentin Schultze defines as "a way of using God’s gift of communication to love God and our neighbors as ourselves (Mark 12:30–31)." It begins with a willingness to accept the challenge to practice such communications as a way to witness grace and love. At the heart of this virtue is the practice of gratitude. The more grateful we are, the more able we are to practice graciousness in our communications. Christians are called to honour God in all that they do. Schultze knows the challenges of doing that. Thus, he guides us through some barriers, to point out how sin has made us broken, which not only affects us, but also the way we communicate. Here, the author lays out bare his past brokenness to demonstrate that he knows personally what it means to be part of a broken relationship.

The author goes on to describe other areas of communications. With regard to community, we are reminded to embrace rather than avoid community. It is a terrible thing to be lonely and one way to avoid that is to learn how to connect with people and to nurture relationships that resemble shalom. That means learning to embrace diversity, differences, and to question stereotypes. Truth and trust go hand in hand. This means that we need to take care of our inner selves in cultivating good character. After all, good fruit comes from good trees. Then there is the art of storytelling and how to deal with technology in communications. Schultze shares his love for the teachings of St Augustine, especially on his treatise on rhetoric.

My Thoughts
==============
What would motivate anyone to read books like this? I could think of three reasons. First, it is about knowing more about ourselves and our identities. What has communications to do with us, one might ask. Well, it takes one to communicate something. That is why the author does not separate his own story from this important topic about communications. This is probably one of Schultze's most personal sharing about his own broken past. For communications is not simply about what we say but how and why we say it. How the author begins the book is telling. He starts with "accept the call" which essentially sees proper communications as a given. He shares his own story about his broken past and how he, a "reluctant communicator" was led to become a professor of communications. A key point I find helpful is the reminder about being vulnerable when we want to communicate graciously. When we hide our true selves, there is a chance of misunderstanding and miscommunication. In marriages, this is most vital that we learn honesty in communications. The more we know ourselves, the more we know how to communicate appropriately and to recognize instances when we might unwittingly hurt other people with our words.

Secondly, it is biblical. Schultze writes with the Christian in mind. Jesus has said in Matthew 15:11, that a man is not defiled by what enters his mouth but by what comes out of their mouths. Good relationships are built on good communications. Great communications are nourished via graciousness and kind virtues. We need more of that in this world. Proverbs 25:11 also teaches us that a word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. If we want to honour God, one of the best ways is to honour the Word of God and the testimony we bear in the name of Christ. With servant communication as a backdrop, once we endeavour to be an ambassador for Christ, we would necessarily learn to equip ourselves to communicate like a servant of Christ.

Finally, it is most relevant in an increasingly trigger-happy social media world. All it takes is a nasty comment or rebuttal and all hell breaks loose with angry threats, sarcasm, blackmails, lawsuits, and even violence. The world is already broken and we need more love, not less. I appreciate the author taking time to explore some of the modern communications technologies we use. We are living increasingly online, and future generations would have to learn how to navigate this fast-changing medium. I find it most helpful to understand the history of communications in order to learn how humans adjust to the changing medium. Marshall McLuhan had famously said that the medium is the message. We need to spend time learning about the advantages and disadvantages of both old-school and new-school, and to use both appropriately. We would be impoverished if we ignore either of them.

Indeed, great communications will go a long way to make this world a better place to live in.

Quentin J. Schultze is the author of over a dozen books on the relationship between faith and communications. He serves as executive director of the Gainey Institute for Faith and Communication and as Arthur H. DeKruyter Chair in Faith and Communication at Calvin College.

Rating: 4.75 stars of 5.

conrade
This book has been provided courtesy of Baker Academic and NetGalley without requiring a positive review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.

[Brianna · Rating 4 out of 5]

A well crafted book on the theoretical concept of communicating in a way that others may recognize Christ in us.

[Ben Makuh · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a simple, short, straightforward meditation on the art of communication. It is all too easy to spew words out of my mouth or through my thumbs onto a screen without reflecting upon what I am saying, how I am saying it, or whether it even needs to be said in the first place.

Through eight brief chapters, Quentin Schultze helps to frame communication as something that holds great possibility and yet as something that requires greater virtue and attention than we often give it. On the way he explores other aspects of communication such as the communal nature of communication, the power of story, and the pros and cons of communication technologies.

My one real quibble with the book lies in his chapter about story as an engaging way to communicate. While he is undoubtedly right that listeners tend to be able to be enraptured by story, he makes this problematic statement:

The Gospels engage partly because they are narratives. The book of Leviticus, filled with laws and commandments, is not equally engaging; much of its meaning comes from where it is located in the greater biblical story of God’s people, who needed specifics about how to live faithfully under God’s law.

Again, on the surface, this is undoubtedly correct from a merely descriptive vantage point (the old trope about how boring Leviticus is), but it strikes me as a fairly sloppy thing to say. Leviticus speaks to gender and sexuality, oppression and power, justice and righteousness, and even what to do with viral outbreaks in a community. In short, the book is talking about nearly every single hot topic in our culture today! Stating that its significance is mostly as an historical artifact of a bygone people meeting a need that is no longer needful is to misunderstand the book, how to read it, and what role it plays in the life of the Christian today.

Lest I sound like a pedant here, let me explain why this is a red flag. "Using story in communication" is a noncontroversial, popular thing to do these days. We no longer frame civic conversation in terms of right and wrong or values or even truth. We talk about "narratives." Why? Because it’s engaging to do so, just like Schultze describes. Yet to use the power of story to communicate simply because it is "effective" is to fail to catechize one another in other non-narrative forms of communication. Communicating propositions about the world as it is invites us out of our subjective stories into the much less comfortable territory of axiomatic and even dogmatic reasoning. Yes, it’s important to touch hearts and "create audience empathy and sympathy," as Schultze argues a little later. But employing pathos without logos or ethos falls far short of the art of rhetoric.

This concern aside, this book is nevertheless a decent examination of our words and how to use them well.

DISCLAIMER: I received a copy of this book from the publisher for the purpose of a fair, unbiased review.

[KM · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked up Communicating with Grace and Virtue because I knew I struggled in the area of communication. I wanted to learn how to speak, listen, and interact in a way that honors God — and this book truly met me where I was.

One concept that deeply impacted me is Schultze’s idea of being a “servant communicator.” It reminded me that communication is not about winning arguments or proving points, but about serving others with grace, humility, and love. That shift in perspective alone made me reflect on how I speak to my husband, my children, and even myself.

What stood out most to me was the call to be vulnerable and prayerful in communication. This line especially touched my heart:

“We can nurture virtue by communicating prayerfully. We remind ourselves, until it becomes a habit, that we are communicating before the face of God even when we are not speaking directly to God.”

I love this. It made me realize that every conversation is an opportunity to practice God’s presence. I now desire to offer my words consciously before Him — in my home, in friendships, and in daily interactions.

Another powerful insight was learning to see others through Jesus’s compassionate eyes. This is something I still sometimes struggle with. But the book made me aware of how much I need the Spirit’s daily reminder of His presence in my communication.

This book didn’t just teach techniques; it invited transformation. As we strive to become servant communicators, we discover that God is with us — revealing opportunities, giving courage, and filling our hearts with virtue.

My prayer is to truly apply these lessons, trusting that God is preparing my communication one message at a time.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who desires to grow in Christ-centered communication. It is convicting, practical, and deeply encouraging.

[Mark Youngkin · Rating 3 out of 5]

This slim volume is a disappointment. It is positioned as a college-level guide to Christian communication but instead is a series of loosely connected personal essays with a few Scripture verses thrown in. I am locked into using it as a text for a class I devised called Communicating Scripture but it will need a lot of supplementary material to be of any use to my students.

[Crina -Ruth Ala · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unputdownable book!


« Discernment requires understanding and critical evaluation, not compliance or even agreement»

«Our responsibility to use the gift of language
with mindfulness that we are caretakers of God's world...»


•We as Christians must be good speakers because we hold the truth.

[Bruce Coats · Rating 5 out of 5]

Solid text

Good book that would work for an undergraduate text. It mixes communication research with scriptural knowledge blending to flavored consumption.

[David Min · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall, good book! But those bubbles in the middle of sections were distracting. Personally would’ve preferred them as footnotes.