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Astrology for Real Relationships: Understanding You, Me, and How We All Get Along
A modern, inclusive guide to astrology that will illuminate your love life as well as your relationships with your family, your friends, and yourself.
When it comes to friendship, family, and romance, we all want the same things: to love and be loved, to communicate, to fight fair, and to feel okay in our own skin. Astrology for Real Relationships is a modern, practical guide to life's least practical matters--relationships of all kinds and matters of the heart--that will help you understand your blind spots, blocks, and fears so you can make choices that leave you happy and fulfilled. Full of real talk about attraction, dating, sex, frenemies, self-love, and how to deal with family, this book will help you build and maintain strong connections--with your crushes, your spouse, your boss, or your mom--and uncover and get what you really want in relationships, not what you think you should want.
When it comes to friendship, family, and romance, we all want the same things: to love and be loved, to communicate, to fight fair, and to feel okay in our own skin. Astrology for Real Relationships is a modern, practical guide to life's least practical matters--relationships of all kinds and matters of the heart--that will help you understand your blind spots, blocks, and fears so you can make choices that leave you happy and fulfilled. Full of real talk about attraction, dating, sex, frenemies, self-love, and how to deal with family, this book will help you build and maintain strong connections--with your crushes, your spouse, your boss, or your mom--and uncover and get what you really want in relationships, not what you think you should want.
246 pages, Kindle Edition
First published December 31, 2019
128 people are currently reading
755 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 38 reviews
January 11, 2020
I love JL’s podcast (Ghost of a Podcast) and am a long time listener so I was thrilled when JL announced her book was coming out! Not only is this such a great guide to understanding how your chart works and how to read it, but it’s FUN! Yes, of course, JL’s POV and perspectives are very introspective and can lead to greater self-discovery, but the book was fun to use and share with a couple of friends. We had our charts open on our phones and were able to jump from section to section and talk about our placements and how validated we felt by JL’s words. We felt SEEN (and some of us even READ TO FILTH!). I highly recommend this book for Astro-pro or newbie alike as JL has a wonderful way of centering and grounding all her observations in relevant terms and issues. Great as a solo read or something to do with friends. Great resource to also revisit when issues arise within friendships, lover ships and relationships of all types.
January 6, 2021
Down to earth, practical, focused, and super easy to read. Did I say it applies Astrology to modern times? Because it does. Can't wait to read this book again in 40 years and roll my eyes.
One of my favorite things about Lanyadoo, is that she does deconstruct and question old structures and beliefs that the west has normalized for a long time.
This was a refreshing read and I'm telling all my friends. Definitely a beginner textbook you want on your shelf.
One of my favorite things about Lanyadoo, is that she does deconstruct and question old structures and beliefs that the west has normalized for a long time.
This was a refreshing read and I'm telling all my friends. Definitely a beginner textbook you want on your shelf.
June 10, 2025
In my dream world, people would be discussing their Venus placements according to this book instead of using “love languages.”
If you’re astrology obsessed or curious, you have to get to know Jessica Lanyadoo. Her podcast, Ghost of a Podcast, is a weekly treat that features a horoscope on Sundays for the week ahead and a mid-week recorded reading she does with a listener for free.
Jessica identifies as Queer and uses her platform to uplift marginalized people and highlight important global events. For example, I love that she does a PSA on her podcast encouraging listeners to read banned and challenged books and support independently-owned bookstores, including Black-owned bookstores.
This guide can be used as a reference book and offers insight into how astrology charts can be read through the lens of platonic, casual and long-term romantic relationships. Each of these sections is similar, so there is some repetition, especially if you opt for the lovely audiobook read by Jessica herself.
Overall, it’s a good starting point for self reflection, either on your own, or with someone else. I appreciate that she encourages everyone to own their responsibilities to each other in a wide spectrum of human connection.
As Jessica reminds listeners at the end of her podcast episodes, “Please take good care of yourself and others.”
If you’re astrology obsessed or curious, you have to get to know Jessica Lanyadoo. Her podcast, Ghost of a Podcast, is a weekly treat that features a horoscope on Sundays for the week ahead and a mid-week recorded reading she does with a listener for free.
Jessica identifies as Queer and uses her platform to uplift marginalized people and highlight important global events. For example, I love that she does a PSA on her podcast encouraging listeners to read banned and challenged books and support independently-owned bookstores, including Black-owned bookstores.
This guide can be used as a reference book and offers insight into how astrology charts can be read through the lens of platonic, casual and long-term romantic relationships. Each of these sections is similar, so there is some repetition, especially if you opt for the lovely audiobook read by Jessica herself.
Overall, it’s a good starting point for self reflection, either on your own, or with someone else. I appreciate that she encourages everyone to own their responsibilities to each other in a wide spectrum of human connection.
As Jessica reminds listeners at the end of her podcast episodes, “Please take good care of yourself and others.”
January 11, 2020
I love Jessica Lanyadoo and her wisdom. I listen to her podcast "Ghost of a Podcast", and follow her on social media and was excited that she produced this beautiful book. After reading "Astrology for Real Relationships" I've learned an incredible amount about myself based on the planetary alignment when I was born and how I show up for others in relationships. Thank you for this modern, gender inclusive, empowering book!
December 27, 2022
Love the short clear paragraphs for different placements- planets and houses, nice when so many books have pages of info on each placement. I wish it would have gotten into risings. Could have gone a little deeper, but I'm happy with what it was.
How I rate books:
5 Stars= I absolutely loved it, felt very moved. Extraordinary. I rarely give this rating.
4 Stars= Well done
3 Stars= I enjoyed it but wasn't wowed. My most common rating
2 Stars=Meh
1 Stars= The kind of book that I feel shouldn't have been published bc it might discourage some from becoming readers.
How I rate books:
5 Stars= I absolutely loved it, felt very moved. Extraordinary. I rarely give this rating.
4 Stars= Well done
3 Stars= I enjoyed it but wasn't wowed. My most common rating
2 Stars=Meh
1 Stars= The kind of book that I feel shouldn't have been published bc it might discourage some from becoming readers.
March 21, 2020
Informative, a bit repetitive, more of a "look up" resource.
March 8, 2022
I think this book was kind lazy. I feel like wrote it in her sleep. So I would have been so excited to read the book, and learn some things timing.
Read
January 29, 2021Liked this a lot, found the dating and long term relationship sections to be similar enough to be redundant but obviously will be demanding all my friends’ charts immediately
March 26, 2021
A 3.5-star rating. Goodreads can you please create a rating scale that allows for .5! My Library system has that and I find it fabulous.
"Astrology is a vast and amazing system for understanding your insides and your outsides, and how to bridge the gap between the two. And when I talk about relationships and intimacy, I'm really talking about your mental, emotional and spiritual health. How you feel in your own skin is directly related to how close you are willing to get to other people. And for those of us who have been discouraged from having agency around our feelings and our bodies, letting people in can be especially hard. I hope you use this book as a resource for understanding how the placement of the planets in your birth chart relates to your intimacy issues with friends, lovers, and romantic partners." Introduction - pg. 1
A well laid out and easily referenced book with brightly coloured illustrations throughout and colour coded chapter pages as well. From my perspective, this would be most useful for a student of Astrology who has a solid understanding of all the Planets and Houses within a birth chart. Or someone who wanted a quick reference to the significance of particular Planets and how to work with them. I found the division of the three chapters into Friends And Chosen Family; Hanging Out And Dating; Long-Term Relationships pleasing and efficient. I would have favoured some more depth; however, Jessica has created a resource that is practical and accessible.
"Astrology is a vast and amazing system for understanding your insides and your outsides, and how to bridge the gap between the two. And when I talk about relationships and intimacy, I'm really talking about your mental, emotional and spiritual health. How you feel in your own skin is directly related to how close you are willing to get to other people. And for those of us who have been discouraged from having agency around our feelings and our bodies, letting people in can be especially hard. I hope you use this book as a resource for understanding how the placement of the planets in your birth chart relates to your intimacy issues with friends, lovers, and romantic partners." Introduction - pg. 1
A well laid out and easily referenced book with brightly coloured illustrations throughout and colour coded chapter pages as well. From my perspective, this would be most useful for a student of Astrology who has a solid understanding of all the Planets and Houses within a birth chart. Or someone who wanted a quick reference to the significance of particular Planets and how to work with them. I found the division of the three chapters into Friends And Chosen Family; Hanging Out And Dating; Long-Term Relationships pleasing and efficient. I would have favoured some more depth; however, Jessica has created a resource that is practical and accessible.
August 21, 2020
This is a good book for beginners in astrology and for people always asking about compatibility. I’m glad that Jessica is dispelling the myth that 2 sun signs can be compatible/not or that venus is the only important planet for astrology.
However, this book is really repetitive. if you already are a student of astrology who has gotten pretty deep in and understands astro for the most part, rhis can be kind of boring to read because she essentially goes through each planet (through the signs and houses) 3 times: in the Friends and chosen family section, in the Dating and hanging out section, and in the Long term relationships section.
I really like her writing and how she explains each planet. But I wish the structure of the book was different, instead of just going thru planet, sign, house over and over. I think it would’ve been more interesting to get thru with some examples of clients or things like that, so that a reader can understand how to synthesize the info more.
Also: on a Taurean note, this book is really glossy and nice, classy printing and very well designed with cute images and stuff.
However, this book is really repetitive. if you already are a student of astrology who has gotten pretty deep in and understands astro for the most part, rhis can be kind of boring to read because she essentially goes through each planet (through the signs and houses) 3 times: in the Friends and chosen family section, in the Dating and hanging out section, and in the Long term relationships section.
I really like her writing and how she explains each planet. But I wish the structure of the book was different, instead of just going thru planet, sign, house over and over. I think it would’ve been more interesting to get thru with some examples of clients or things like that, so that a reader can understand how to synthesize the info more.
Also: on a Taurean note, this book is really glossy and nice, classy printing and very well designed with cute images and stuff.
March 4, 2021
I would highly recommend this book - it’s definitely digestible for those just starting to learn about astrology. Even if astrology isn’t your thing, it’s filled with wise and practical advice about all different types of relationships. I love Jessica Lanyadoo’s podcast (Ghost of a Podcast), and this book has her same authenticity and spunk that she brings to episodes.
The book is divided into platonic relationships, hanging out/dating, and long-term relationships. It also gives some basic background on the different signs, planets, and houses. In each section, Lanyadoo offers her own insights and interpretations regarding how the planets relate to various relationships (as well as what that means for your sign and house placement for each planet). I think the way I’ve tried to explain it sounds much more complicated than the actual book layout. Anyway, highly recommend!
The book is divided into platonic relationships, hanging out/dating, and long-term relationships. It also gives some basic background on the different signs, planets, and houses. In each section, Lanyadoo offers her own insights and interpretations regarding how the planets relate to various relationships (as well as what that means for your sign and house placement for each planet). I think the way I’ve tried to explain it sounds much more complicated than the actual book layout. Anyway, highly recommend!
June 15, 2020
Spot on astrological knowledge of especially what each house controls depending on the planets within them. She came for me a few times - I felt both attacked and seen while reading. This is helpful for understanding yourself and seeing your patterns laid out for you in a simple way, as well as deepening your understanding of your loved ones and people you are in relationship with. Love her voice as well! Jessica includes the often overlooked outer planets, and I’m so glad she does because they effect so much of our birth charts, even if they are slow moving and generational.
Whether you’re into astrology or learning about yourself, pick this up! If you enjoy taking quizzes or finding out your personality type, etc. you’ll love this book. Great resource for the future.
Whether you’re into astrology or learning about yourself, pick this up! If you enjoy taking quizzes or finding out your personality type, etc. you’ll love this book. Great resource for the future.
August 21, 2020
I totally hated this book at first. It had been hyped up on the podcast and I ended up expecting it to give me the answers of my chart and my life that I was looking for. Too high expectations.
Now I appreciate the book a bit more. It is amazing at how it describes placements in the charts of other people and myself. I wish it had solutions, gave me certainty in relationships, and had included planetary aspects (my biggest disappointment about it) but I can appreciate the interesting descriptions and how they have been enough for me to explore further.
Now I appreciate the book a bit more. It is amazing at how it describes placements in the charts of other people and myself. I wish it had solutions, gave me certainty in relationships, and had included planetary aspects (my biggest disappointment about it) but I can appreciate the interesting descriptions and how they have been enough for me to explore further.
June 29, 2021
This book is a great resource for this specific topic. Lanyadoo offers a good skeleton of how to read astrology in the beginning, then delves deeper into each planet and house, what they mean for various types of relationships.
Definitely have your chart handy so you can look specifically at each section as it pertains to you personally.
eg. I have Mars in Virgo in my 12th House, so in the Mars section I paid extra attention to the section on Mars in Virgo, and the section on Mars in the 12th House.
Definitely have your chart handy so you can look specifically at each section as it pertains to you personally.
eg. I have Mars in Virgo in my 12th House, so in the Mars section I paid extra attention to the section on Mars in Virgo, and the section on Mars in the 12th House.
August 2, 2022
*chef's kiss* to the Astrological talent, the research, the social/political/gender awareness and the way in which we can use someone's birth chart to better understand the deep roots of who they are and how they engage in relationships. Can't wait to use what I learnt in my synastry readings with clients.
November 29, 2022
Really repetitive and no depth. I was expecting a little more fro Jessica so was a bit disappointed. All of the information in this book could be easily found online for free. I think this is a nice little companion for beginners to astrology but if you’re past the beginner stage I don’t recommend.
April 4, 2020
Jessica Lanyadoo Read Me For Filth, And It Was Awesome!
Very much the “I’m in this picture and I don’t like it” meme. She wrote about relational dynamics that I had to spend 8 years with my fiancée (and time in therapy) to realize! Might have saved me some time, lol
Very much the “I’m in this picture and I don’t like it” meme. She wrote about relational dynamics that I had to spend 8 years with my fiancée (and time in therapy) to realize! Might have saved me some time, lol
January 6, 2021
Really clear and accessible for ppl trying to learn astrology. Breaks things down a lot so it can take a bit to digest. The only downside is she repeats herself word for world in many sections of the book, which is kinda disappointing.
July 27, 2024
I love astrology and this was a really nice quick guide to touch base on all the planets and signs. I loved listening to the authors voice while I read the book. Super neat read and I felt it def made sense about a lot of my signs/houses.
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October 4, 2021I really love Ghost of a Podcast and Lanyadoo's perspective on relationships and modern+traditional astrology. I think this is a book that would find a nice home on your bookshelf as a point of reference for learning your chart and the charts of those in your life. It is definitely not one that provides theoretical explanations, and I would not necessarily recommend the audiobook (she's a great reader, it's just a list of placements and is hard to follow in real-time). I might come back to it in the physical and add it to my library.
June 29, 2020
Cute but not groundbreaking
August 2, 2020
Solid book, may need to get a copy for reference
August 9, 2020
So much better than You Were Born For This, but also a bit repetitive. I really like her approach.
January 31, 2021
Super fun and useful
February 1, 2021
An interesting book in the tone of Jessica Lanyadoo. I could almost hear her voice as I was reading. I would consider this a great astrological resource/guide, especially if you are a beginner.
March 10, 2021
a good basic overview
Read
July 14, 2022ended up only reading some sections of this but it was so good. Jessica Lanyadoo has a lot of wisdom and makes me wanna be better lol genuinely really insightful and great to do some self-reflection
July 30, 2022
Thank you for the free birth chart on the author's website! This book has a narrow astrological focus on relationships. The sign interpretations did not really resonate for me.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 1, 2022
I found this when I was still beginning. It's a good book for reference!
January 24, 2020
Very interesting and insightful, but I wish she included more information on aspects.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 38 reviews