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Ward of the State: A Memoir Of Foster Care
"Ward of the A Memoir of Foster Care," tells what happened to a little black boy from the inner city of Detroit. This is the story of Karlos Dillard, severely neglected by his mother who often left him and his siblings at home alone for weeks to fend for themselves. Enduring severe neglect and abuse, the boy was removed by the State of Michigan and put into foster care.
Karlos was removed from his mother's care just to end up in foster homes that treated him worse. The book is an emotional rollercoaster. Every time Karlos describes the pain he is feeling you will feel the same pain. Whether it be hunger, anger, or being sexually violated. Karlos' use of words makes sure that you aren't just reading the book, you are actually engaged.
What is most enticing are the small victories experienced in the story because they give you a break from the horrors of some of the foster homes. Karlos was told he was not loved, he was not wanted and he was nothing but a ward of the State. Karlos had nothing left to look forward to and that almost ended his life, but his hope to find a family that loved him kept him alive.
Karlos was removed from his mother's care just to end up in foster homes that treated him worse. The book is an emotional rollercoaster. Every time Karlos describes the pain he is feeling you will feel the same pain. Whether it be hunger, anger, or being sexually violated. Karlos' use of words makes sure that you aren't just reading the book, you are actually engaged.
What is most enticing are the small victories experienced in the story because they give you a break from the horrors of some of the foster homes. Karlos was told he was not loved, he was not wanted and he was nothing but a ward of the State. Karlos had nothing left to look forward to and that almost ended his life, but his hope to find a family that loved him kept him alive.
146 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 2, 2020
18 people are currently reading
788 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 42 reviews
December 10, 2020
As another review said, the writing is not the best, but it doesn't get in the way of the story. It's a heartbreaking story that needs to be read by everyone to help understand what it's really like to be in the foster care system.
February 22, 2023
CW: Child Abuse, Domestic Abuse, Sexual Assault / R*pe, etc.
This was a difficult read, but it was very quick to get through. Karlos really suffered during his childhood and I know it has got to be hard reliving a lot of this and advocating for children who end up in the foster care system on his tiktok (which is where I was introduced to him)
It’s very hard knowing what he endured and what so many other children go through every day.
The writing may not be the best, but it’s a memoir from someone who I don’t believe has written a book before so I don’t think your expectations should be that high (don’t mean that in a bad way, I’d probably end up having mistakes too since I also have never written a book before). And the subject matter is very intense, but it only took about 2 hours to read.
I wonder if he will write another one about his time with Debbie? If anyone is interested in hearing more about it I suggest following him on tiktok. I also need to go and see if he has spoken about his sister and mother since I was wanting to know what happened to them when they were mentioned in the book.
This was a difficult read, but it was very quick to get through. Karlos really suffered during his childhood and I know it has got to be hard reliving a lot of this and advocating for children who end up in the foster care system on his tiktok (which is where I was introduced to him)
It’s very hard knowing what he endured and what so many other children go through every day.
The writing may not be the best, but it’s a memoir from someone who I don’t believe has written a book before so I don’t think your expectations should be that high (don’t mean that in a bad way, I’d probably end up having mistakes too since I also have never written a book before). And the subject matter is very intense, but it only took about 2 hours to read.
I wonder if he will write another one about his time with Debbie? If anyone is interested in hearing more about it I suggest following him on tiktok. I also need to go and see if he has spoken about his sister and mother since I was wanting to know what happened to them when they were mentioned in the book.
August 6, 2021
As stated on the back of the book, the book was written as if it was Karlos Dillard's inner child writing the book. It adds to the story and immerses you into the childlike perspective. It makes the abuse he faces more horrific since it is told from the point of view of him as a child.
I think I would have it enjoyed it even more if he had included an epilogue explaining the advocacy work he does now and why he supports foster to reunite with the biological parents instead of foster to adopt. It would give the story more meaning like a call to action.
However, it was still a good read and important for everyone to read even if you don't interact with foster kids. We need to understand each other's perspectives more.
I think I would have it enjoyed it even more if he had included an epilogue explaining the advocacy work he does now and why he supports foster to reunite with the biological parents instead of foster to adopt. It would give the story more meaning like a call to action.
However, it was still a good read and important for everyone to read even if you don't interact with foster kids. We need to understand each other's perspectives more.
March 13, 2023
Heartwrenching
When you think of foster parents you think of people nice and caring enough to open their homes and care for children in bad situations. Unfortunately most foster parents seem to be horrible people and pedophiles only looking for a check. Karlous endured so much that I really thought he'd end up either losing his life or taking someone else's. I really thought there was no hope until nearly the end of the book when the Gums were introduced. The Gums family were heaven sent, and I honestly would like to know about the rest of Karlous' life with them. I hope he finally got to experience love, happiness, and safety.
When you think of foster parents you think of people nice and caring enough to open their homes and care for children in bad situations. Unfortunately most foster parents seem to be horrible people and pedophiles only looking for a check. Karlous endured so much that I really thought he'd end up either losing his life or taking someone else's. I really thought there was no hope until nearly the end of the book when the Gums were introduced. The Gums family were heaven sent, and I honestly would like to know about the rest of Karlous' life with them. I hope he finally got to experience love, happiness, and safety.
January 28, 2025
Forgettable, to be honest. Dillard itemises a string of injustices inflicted upon him as a foster kid, and many are really very appalling. One that sticks in mind, is the woman who provides separate meals for her bio child and foster kids e.g. steak for her son, and canned sausages for the foster kids. Dillard isn't great at exploring his emotions, beyond a superficial indication of his outward behaviour e.g. "I started crying and screaming" etc. His memoir was insightful though, as it gave an insiders view into one child's crummy experience through the American foster care system, and shows how the system often isn't any better than the originating family. Insightful too, were the budding friendships he made, often destroyed by his transient circumstances. Overall, interesting, although too short and superficial. In any case, I plan to read the next installment of his memoirs.
April 26, 2021
Many thanks to Karlos Dillard for sharing a story so raw and personal. That vulnerability requires a level of bravery most of us can only aspire to reach. You deserved much better than you received, and I hope life post-adoption was everything you hoped it would be.
I've heard many stories sharing the horrors of the foster system before, but all were third-person reports. Hearing a multi-year first-person narrative gave a whole new, eye-opening perspective. The reason I gave the book four stars instead of five, though, is because the quality of the writing is really that of a first draft. I would have loved to see the story and the writing fleshed out more before the book came to fruition.
This is necessary reading for anyone who, like myself, works with foster youth.
I've heard many stories sharing the horrors of the foster system before, but all were third-person reports. Hearing a multi-year first-person narrative gave a whole new, eye-opening perspective. The reason I gave the book four stars instead of five, though, is because the quality of the writing is really that of a first draft. I would have loved to see the story and the writing fleshed out more before the book came to fruition.
This is necessary reading for anyone who, like myself, works with foster youth.
June 24, 2020
Very badly written. If you care about about reading an interesting story, do not purchase this book.
January 24, 2023
Though the subject is difficult at times and highly emotionally triggering, the vulnerability Karlos has in his writing about his lived experience in foster care is essential for all who work with and/or advocate for at-risk children in care. The brutal truth is rarely easy to confront but we must not look away if we truly care for the children and families most directly impacted by the current foster care system in the United States today. Protecting children is clearly deeply important to Karlos, and I am so honored to be a witness to his survival, resiliency, healing, and critically needed advocacy. Please follow him on TikTok and other social media because this book is just a fraction of his story as a Black transracial adoptee. His willingness to educate, advocate, and communicate on behalf of families like mine is truly appreciated deeply.
March 2, 2022
Lately, I've delved into the world of foster care and adoptions to learn more about things. Sadly, the more I learn, the angrier I am with society and humans in general. It's clear that as a society we are more concerned with "righteousness" (which is really just racism in disguise) than we are with preserving families and reducing levels of trauma. This child was certainly not in a good situation at home. He was neglected, abused, and left in dangerous situations. But his subsequent experiences in foster care seem to have made things exponentially worse for him and did more damage than would have otherwise been the case. And I think we all need to question what more we can do and how we can do it better to create better outcomes for people?
I would assume the state tried to work with his mom to help her be more stable, but how approachable are the programs in place? How much of "working with" do families feel from them as opposed to "working against"? I know a lot of families fail to complete the interventions the states try to put in place but is that because the parents really don't care about their children and don't have any desire to reunite their families? Or are there community disconnects that make the parents feel alienated and defeated and like they might as well just give up? And on an even simpler level, who would have happened if instead of pouring money into the foster care system that bounced this kid around from one abusive and unloving home to another, what if we had just used that money to help stabilize his existing family? What if mom had a steady income so she didn't keep resorting to selling drugs? What if she had funding to go to school to learn a trade so she could be with her children? What if instead of assuming she needed classes to make her a better mom, we just addressed the socioeconomic issues directly so that children didn't have trauma from family separation?
We know the answer though. Because we'd rather demonize poor (often POC) families so that we can feel better about ourselves. Isn't that what it usually comes down to?
*Note: not saying there's never a place for foster care. Clearly, this is unavoidable. Just saying that if a child is placed in foster care because of something that could have been fixed by just bolstering the economic situation of the family, then can we just do that instead???
I would assume the state tried to work with his mom to help her be more stable, but how approachable are the programs in place? How much of "working with" do families feel from them as opposed to "working against"? I know a lot of families fail to complete the interventions the states try to put in place but is that because the parents really don't care about their children and don't have any desire to reunite their families? Or are there community disconnects that make the parents feel alienated and defeated and like they might as well just give up? And on an even simpler level, who would have happened if instead of pouring money into the foster care system that bounced this kid around from one abusive and unloving home to another, what if we had just used that money to help stabilize his existing family? What if mom had a steady income so she didn't keep resorting to selling drugs? What if she had funding to go to school to learn a trade so she could be with her children? What if instead of assuming she needed classes to make her a better mom, we just addressed the socioeconomic issues directly so that children didn't have trauma from family separation?
We know the answer though. Because we'd rather demonize poor (often POC) families so that we can feel better about ourselves. Isn't that what it usually comes down to?
*Note: not saying there's never a place for foster care. Clearly, this is unavoidable. Just saying that if a child is placed in foster care because of something that could have been fixed by just bolstering the economic situation of the family, then can we just do that instead???
June 5, 2025
Oh. My. God. Do NOT read this if you have a weak stomach. I just finished and I want to throw up not for the first time reading this book. This book is about a little boy growing up in poverty and then in the horrors of foster care and abuse of every kind imaginable around every corner. Never has a book had me so in tears.
While yes I would love to go in myself and fix up all of the editing misses, who cares, not the point. Seeing this written not as an adult looking back but as a little boy in the moment it all makes sense anyway.
This is gut wrenching and I will quite literally never recover.
While yes I would love to go in myself and fix up all of the editing misses, who cares, not the point. Seeing this written not as an adult looking back but as a little boy in the moment it all makes sense anyway.
This is gut wrenching and I will quite literally never recover.
February 6, 2023
I listened to the Audible version of this which is read by the author. I noticed a half dozen or so places where some sound editing was needed. A couple, it seemed there were multiple takes and they were not spliced together properly (words were repeated). A couple other places, pronunciation was garbled and (ideally) should have been re-recorded.
As for the story itself…holy crap, what is wrong with people (of all ages) with all the abuse they rain down on kids?? Special place in Hell or whatever equivalent for them, for sure.
As for the story itself…holy crap, what is wrong with people (of all ages) with all the abuse they rain down on kids?? Special place in Hell or whatever equivalent for them, for sure.
April 23, 2023
The book only took me so long to read because I had to take breaks to collect myself. As a former foster youth and a fellow adoptee, knowing stories like that of Karlos happen all too often within the system, it was heartbreaking to read yet another account of foster care nightmares. The details are raw and real, showing the many kinds of evil many children in foster care encounter in places where they’re mean to be safe and cared for. I recommend to anyone that is currently or looking to foster or adopt.
May 15, 2025
This book depicts explicit descriptions of various forms of abuse. Because of this, I would have a trigger warning for those who might be affected by these things. However - Dillard clearly means to make the reader uncomfortable for a reason. Foster care and child abuse should make you squirm and feel uneasy. These are hard topics and told with child-like frankness to share Dillard's story with the reader. To my understanding there is a second book, but I do wish this memoir had an epilogue of who Dillard is now to offer some sort of closure for the book to be a stand-alone as well.
October 14, 2025
I did not finish this book.
The story itself is important, but the writing never pulled me in. It���s littered with missing words, grammatical errors, and awkward phrasing. Every foster home chapter followed the same predictable pattern.
There’s no real emotional depth here, just a string of events told in a flat, report-like way. I never felt in the story, just reading about it. With stronger editing and genuine introspection, this could have been powerful. As it stands, it feels raw but unrefined, more like a draft than a finished memoir.
The story itself is important, but the writing never pulled me in. It���s littered with missing words, grammatical errors, and awkward phrasing. Every foster home chapter followed the same predictable pattern.
There’s no real emotional depth here, just a string of events told in a flat, report-like way. I never felt in the story, just reading about it. With stronger editing and genuine introspection, this could have been powerful. As it stands, it feels raw but unrefined, more like a draft than a finished memoir.
December 24, 2021
Wow! Karlos, you have touched my heart and the heart of many other readers. I'm so happy to have lived in the same time as you and get to interact with you as you continue to move through this world with such grace, humility, and resilience. If you have any adoptive or foster care trauma this book is for you! This is such a beautifully written memoir. I've already started to read it again. Thank you for sharing your story with us and I hope you live a wonderful life.
August 11, 2021
This book is amazing and I can’t wait to continue reading about Karlos’ experience! We need more exposure of the foster care system and many more first hand accounts of kids. The only negative was some typos and a few missing words but since the story is written from the perspective of a child I didn’t really mind them as much as some of the other reviewers.
August 27, 2024
The prose can be a bit off putting until you realize it’s written in the voice of the child he once was. I held several times, I suppressed screams. I covered my eyes. I’m completely heart broken for the innocence lost and simultaneously in awe of the man that survived those horrors and that is now leading the fight to dismantle the system that promotes abuse and trafficking.
December 10, 2021
It was a hard read at times to hear all he experienced but I appreciate him sharing and hope it was helpful on his journey. There were some editing pieces that could be improved but I would recommend this book and would definitely read more by this author.
May 23, 2024
This is a difficult book to read, it is an eye opening and heartbreaking real life story that gives a detailed perception of the foster care system and how it deeply fails children. It is an important book but please be aware of many trigger warnings S/A and DV
September 16, 2024
great book
I appreciate Karlos for sharing his experiences with his family and his traumatic experiences from being in one foster home after another’s it shows how some foster parents only care for the money and not the child’s well being.
I appreciate Karlos for sharing his experiences with his family and his traumatic experiences from being in one foster home after another’s it shows how some foster parents only care for the money and not the child’s well being.
April 26, 2025
Read the trigger warnings! I sympathized with foster kids but actually hearing somebody’s story, especially a young Black child, is gut wrenching. I had questions but the story is just a quick, short memoir.
July 22, 2025
While the writing sometimes read very simple and there were a few grammatical errors throughout, the message and impact of the book was unaffected. Dillard’s story is incredibly heartbreaking, and the story was told matter-of-factly, in a way that stuns and captivates the reader.
September 18, 2022
I am so glad I had to read this for CASA. This is a tearjerker for sure. Such raw emotion and pain is contained within the pages of this book.
January 20, 2023
Heartbreaking
I cannot imagine being like these terrible people. My heart goes out to Karlos and all of the other foster children who are forced to endure this kind of treatment.
I cannot imagine being like these terrible people. My heart goes out to Karlos and all of the other foster children who are forced to endure this kind of treatment.
February 8, 2023
Karlos is so brave and vulnerable in this memoir. Reading his experience through a childhood perspective, with adult articulation on emotions and reactions is incredibly eye opening.
January 20, 2024
This was the hardest book I’ve ever read but finished it in no time because it was so engaging. Lots of triggers but truth that needed to be told.
February 2, 2024
This book is good. It’s hard to read/listen to at times because of the raw traumatic nature of the content he explores. It’s bud life story. It’s worth a read.
March 2, 2024
Sad but learning so much from this story.
May 29, 2024
Amazing & emotional. Thank you for sharing your story, Karlos.
January 13, 2025
I just want to know if there is a PART II and when can I read it!!! 5 stars!!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 42 reviews