for a book that was ranked #3 in kono bl ga yabai 2020 (and the author, tsukimura, writing BL novels for over 20 years), i was expecting a helluva lot more. instead? it was okay :/ would i read it again? naw. was it worth the read? uh... i don't know? it had a strong start, it wasn't bad overall, only ~200 pages, side characters were bomb, i could read a book about kentarou alone. would i recommend it to the world? no. did i regret purchasing and reading this? no. did it deserve to be in the kono bl ga yabai 2020 top 20 much less top 10 MUCH LESS IN THE TOP 5? imo, hell naw. if tsukimura writes 涙が出そう in this book one more time, imma flip. please, thesaurus, yes? you (the MC and uke) was an interesting character, but seme was one-dimensional asf but we can go over that later.
basically, the protagonist, you, is an orphan who lost his mom when he was a child and his dad before he finished middle school. he dropped out of school in order to work and survive, working in low wage jobs where customers are rude and coworkers don't give a flying fuk about their job. he lives pay check to pay check, and force himself to work even when he's sick. unfortunately, his life sucks even more when he gets injured on the job and breaks his pinky, and his boss wants to skip on paying workers comp and had you pay the medical expense, something he can barely afford, and decided to let you go due to his inability to be 100% functional for the job. now you is jobless, and more broke than ever. tired of how much life shits on him constantly despite always giving his all, he decides to kill himself since no one will be at a loss with him dead.
before his suicide attempt (after ending his lease, and getting rid of his belongings), he stops by a bistro type restaurant he admires (a bistro, at first i was like tf is a bistro... "a small restaurant, serving moderately priced simple meals in a modest setting with alcohol. Bistros are defined mostly by the foods they serve. French home-style cooking, and slow-cooked foods like cassoulet, a bean stew, are typical." THANKS GOOGLE) where he often sneak peeks and walks by on his way to work but never goes inside. if he's going to die, he'll at least have his last meal in this heavenly-like place, nothing like the dirty places he worked in the past.
'cept the prices are way beyond what he has on hand, and poor boy riddled w/ guilt tried to get out of it after a bite like, yo i don't have money for this, but ended up losing consciousness in the middle of all this due to not eating anything for the past 2 days. long story short, whew, the owner of the bistro, ruka, had one of his customers who so happened to be a doctor, to treat you at his private clinic. you freaks out because lol mo' doctor expenses wtf and also, he has to pay for the meal he ordered and never paid for. you plans on finding a job right away and pay ruka back and then go back to his original plan. ruka sees through all of this and "forces" you to work for him as "pay back" for the meal he didn't pay for and for the medical expenses, and to live w/ him at the meantime.
i mean, i was entertained. it wasn't boring asf, and i liked the characters for the most part. we learn a few things about ruka, the seme, as far as his past and having to deal with bullies due to his appearance and sexual orientation, as well as the death of his younger brother. however, this character had so much potential yet i found myself not having much emotional connection with this guy despite his story. he seemed so one-dimensional and blah, it was almost annoying by the end. perhaps because it was told by you's pessimistic, one-sided point of view, but. ugh. pov should not be a reason for poor character development. which ruka had like, NONE. i felt nothing for ruka for 98% of the story. i felt like he loved you because plot device. because mama author told me so.
any who read if you have the time, or like this author, or if you're curious. otherwise, not memorable at all, and imho you're not missing much. until the next time :]