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124 pages, Paperback
First published October 8, 2019
A warm, damp, starless night in the city. The last night of summer. Darkness moves like an ocean above the roofs and streetlights. The wind is directionless, confusing the trees, loosening sidings and tiles. Creatures of flight have put themselves away, under the eaves, down chimneys; raptors are tucked behind bevelled glass spires. The windows of houses stand open, venting air, exhaust and the fume of falling leaves. The lungs of sleepers are evolving. It is the hour between prayers.
A controlled environment is best for any reprogramming you may wish to consider.
Yes
She did understand. The off switch was hers.
Ken would have been hurt to know she’d chosen to come here, instead of staying at home. Poor Ken. But the marriage had been mostly happy, a few years of low-grade depression and arguing after the baby, normal tensions really, but good on the whole, even if it was not what she’d expected. They’d felt comfortable with each other, which was what counted in the end, probably. He’d been a nice lover; he got very hot when they made love, dripped sweat on her. He didn’t take it personally if she couldn’t finish. They’d done it into their sixties – a lot of their friends hadn’t. When they’d handed him Mia, while they were stitching her, he’d cried and said, Oh my little one, oh poppet. He’d never forgotten birthdays. And he’d been there, kneeling on the kitchen floor with her, when the first palpitations hit. How could Orton match all that? he’d have asked her.
But Ken was gone. Mia was in South Africa and seemed settled. She was tired.
It was as if he, and she, knew the purpose of it all, and there had never been anything as honest or as free as that commitment, not in all the years of love and the practices of marriage, the planning of children, the bonds favoured by people.
The grave digger, a man in his seventies who calls himself ‘Fosser’, after his Roman predecessors, will do something he has not done for years, possibly since he was an apprentice: he will build temporary wooden struts to keep the sodden walls of the grave from falling. And, listen, if you really need a sign, now, that something better is coming, that you will survive, that you will one day travel through kinder times, here it is. When Fosser arrives, he will climb out of the cab and he will stand looking out at the valley’s expanse of water for a moment; he will come over to the car and knock on the window, which you will pull down, and he will say one word to you: Bosphorus. Later, you will remember this. You will remember it while standing on board a ship, holding the rail, rain hammering the surface of the strait, domes and minarets and towers rising out of the mist, calls of gulls, and a man’s face turned towards you, his heat against your chest as you make the crossing, not really from west to east, or east to west, but from suffering to happiness. Coincidence? Fate? Just Fosser mentioning his last holiday, perhaps. These labourers of the other realms, of portals, these keepers of the beyond – can they predict, can they see what you cannot?