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My Sister: How One Sibling's Transition Changed Us Both
A powerful memoir by two sisters about transitioning, family, and the path to self-realization.
When Orange Is the New Black and Diary of a Future President star Selenis Leyva was young, her parents brought a new foster child into their warm, loving family in the Bronx. Selenis was immediately smitten; she doted on the baby, who in turn looked up to Selenis and followed her everywhere. The siblings realized, almost at the same moment, that the younger of the two was struggling with their identity. As Marizol transitioned and fought to define herself, Selenis and the family wanted to help, but didn't always have the language to describe what Marizol was going through.
In My Sister, Selenis and Marizol narrate, in alternating chapters, their shared journey, challenges, and triumphs. They write honestly about the issues of violence, abuse, and discrimination that trans people and women of color -- and especially trans women of color -- experience daily. And they are open about the messiness and confusion of fully realizing oneself and being properly affirmed by others, even those who love you.
Profoundly moving and instructive, My Sister offers insight into the lives of two siblings learning to be their authentic selves. Ultimately, theirs is a story of hope, one that will resonate with and affirm those in the process of transitioning, watching a loved one transition, and anyone taking control of their gender or sexual identities.
When Orange Is the New Black and Diary of a Future President star Selenis Leyva was young, her parents brought a new foster child into their warm, loving family in the Bronx. Selenis was immediately smitten; she doted on the baby, who in turn looked up to Selenis and followed her everywhere. The siblings realized, almost at the same moment, that the younger of the two was struggling with their identity. As Marizol transitioned and fought to define herself, Selenis and the family wanted to help, but didn't always have the language to describe what Marizol was going through.
In My Sister, Selenis and Marizol narrate, in alternating chapters, their shared journey, challenges, and triumphs. They write honestly about the issues of violence, abuse, and discrimination that trans people and women of color -- and especially trans women of color -- experience daily. And they are open about the messiness and confusion of fully realizing oneself and being properly affirmed by others, even those who love you.
Profoundly moving and instructive, My Sister offers insight into the lives of two siblings learning to be their authentic selves. Ultimately, theirs is a story of hope, one that will resonate with and affirm those in the process of transitioning, watching a loved one transition, and anyone taking control of their gender or sexual identities.
256 pages, Hardcover
First published March 24, 2020
9 people are currently reading
1910 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews
June 20, 2020
Pride Month 2020
💜💙💚💛🧡❤️
Selenis and Marizol Leyva have written an emotionally moving and powerfully impactful memoir, told from both perspectives. This is a must read #ownvoices memoir if you want to try to understand the issues that happen when one sibling comes out as transgender. These two sisters are open and raw. They share how each of their perspectives often differ. They are open about how their memories are colored by those perspectives and how that changes the way they remember things. And best of all, they tell the reader how their love for one another was more important than any differences and so they chose to embrace it. One of my children is a transgender man and I recognized myself and him in the journeys these two women have undertaken.
My Sister: How One Sibling's Transition Changed Us Both is divided into three parts: before, during and after transition. And each woman (one trans sister and one cis-gender sister) shares that part of the story. It is well done. Selenis is truthful but respectful. When using her sister's previous named (known as dead name) she does it only with her sister's permission and only for those portions of the story that occur in the section 0f the book that occurs before transition.
The book doesn't shy away from sharing all of the horrible truths about how Marizol felt and was treated. It is a voyeuristic view of the stigma placed upon her, and the pain she felt as a result. Both women share their own grief, pain and experiences, and both share how things have improved as Marizol has been celebrated as her authentic self. The book is intimate and compassionate. I would gift this to anyone who is newly transitioning, or to the families of someone who is doing so.
But I would recommend it to everyone. It is important for people to learn and grow.
Thank you to Netgalley, Perseus Books and the authors for my digital copy of the book in exchange for my review.
💜💙💚💛🧡❤️
Selenis and Marizol Leyva have written an emotionally moving and powerfully impactful memoir, told from both perspectives. This is a must read #ownvoices memoir if you want to try to understand the issues that happen when one sibling comes out as transgender. These two sisters are open and raw. They share how each of their perspectives often differ. They are open about how their memories are colored by those perspectives and how that changes the way they remember things. And best of all, they tell the reader how their love for one another was more important than any differences and so they chose to embrace it. One of my children is a transgender man and I recognized myself and him in the journeys these two women have undertaken.
My Sister: How One Sibling's Transition Changed Us Both is divided into three parts: before, during and after transition. And each woman (one trans sister and one cis-gender sister) shares that part of the story. It is well done. Selenis is truthful but respectful. When using her sister's previous named (known as dead name) she does it only with her sister's permission and only for those portions of the story that occur in the section 0f the book that occurs before transition.
The book doesn't shy away from sharing all of the horrible truths about how Marizol felt and was treated. It is a voyeuristic view of the stigma placed upon her, and the pain she felt as a result. Both women share their own grief, pain and experiences, and both share how things have improved as Marizol has been celebrated as her authentic self. The book is intimate and compassionate. I would gift this to anyone who is newly transitioning, or to the families of someone who is doing so.
But I would recommend it to everyone. It is important for people to learn and grow.
Thank you to Netgalley, Perseus Books and the authors for my digital copy of the book in exchange for my review.
February 26, 2020
I feel like anything I will write will not do this book justice. This is an absolutely amazing #ownvoices memoir. I really appreciated the dual perspective, and both sisters admitted that some of their memories/perceptions might differ, and they decided to embrace those differences. Which makes this book all the more authentic.
The book is separated in three parts : before Marizol, during the transition, and after. At first I was a bit reluctant to read Selenis' part, as I've often read absolutely inaccurate works on this matter, always by cis people. But it was very well done.
They are telling this story, with all of its horrible truths, so that no one feels alone and so that the world can understand the importance of support. And to STOP stigmatizing trans people. Selenis writes that they feel cheated, because their initial lack of knowledge resulted in so much pain for Marizol. Had they known all of this before, she could've grown into her true-self before. So this is why they wrote this book.
Always, ALWAYS REMEMBER :
"I want to be clear that it is never okay to call out or refer to a trans individual by their birth name [...] to do so is an act of violence, one that demeans and insults and harms."
"Though she was assigned male at birth [...] Marizol has always been a woman."
So thank you. For writing this book. It takes a lot of courage to open up in such an intimate way.
P. S. This subject is SO close to my heart, especially as my sibling identifies as trans. 💛🌈
The book is separated in three parts : before Marizol, during the transition, and after. At first I was a bit reluctant to read Selenis' part, as I've often read absolutely inaccurate works on this matter, always by cis people. But it was very well done.
They are telling this story, with all of its horrible truths, so that no one feels alone and so that the world can understand the importance of support. And to STOP stigmatizing trans people. Selenis writes that they feel cheated, because their initial lack of knowledge resulted in so much pain for Marizol. Had they known all of this before, she could've grown into her true-self before. So this is why they wrote this book.
Always, ALWAYS REMEMBER :
"I want to be clear that it is never okay to call out or refer to a trans individual by their birth name [...] to do so is an act of violence, one that demeans and insults and harms."
"Though she was assigned male at birth [...] Marizol has always been a woman."
So thank you. For writing this book. It takes a lot of courage to open up in such an intimate way.
P. S. This subject is SO close to my heart, especially as my sibling identifies as trans. 💛🌈
February 10, 2020
I received a copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review
Told in dual perspectives, two sisters share their stories of one sister’s personal journey to figuring out her identity and fully living her truth as a trans woman. In this raw and unflinchingly honest memoir, Marizol Leyva bears her soul as she takes readers through her life, from an unstable childhood and placed in the foster care system, to being in and out of homelessness and a victim of physical and sexual abuse. Through all of this, Selenis struggles to help her sister as much as she can, knowing all the while that there’s something deeper her sister is fighting, yet living in a time where neither had the vocabulary to understand. They only had each other.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this memoir. I will admit, at first I had my reservations, since this is partly focusing on a cisgendered person’s perspective on having a trans sibling, which can be a problematic narrative in sharing stories about trans people. There have been books like these in the past that have garnered a lot of negative criticism—and for good reason, as these types of stories tend to focus more on the cisgendered person and how their sibling being trans affects them, rather than on the trans person and their experiences. Thankfully, in this case, it’s handled really, really well. Selenis opens the book by describing how she and her sister had an open conversation on how best to narrate this book. While both came to the decision to use Marizol’s birth name (“deadname”) in the first part of the book as a way to tell her story as it happened, leading up to her transition, Selenis also expresses emphatically how harmful and hurtful it is to refer to a trans person by their deadname. You can feel this deep level of respect and communication between Marizol and Selenis throughout the book, and together they set the ideal example of bridging the conversation between cisgendered and trans folks—specifically how cisgendered allies can support trans people by lifting them up without trying to talk over them, by listening attentively, and by stepping back so their voices can be heard.
Marizol not only narrates a deeply personal account of her transition and living openly as a trans woman, but she uses each of her experiences as a way to open the conversation up, to highlight the many, many experiences and adversities that trans people face, from being bullied in school and having a lack of resources and support, to being at higher risks of homelessness, mental illness and suicide/self harm, to being more likely to be the victims of hate crimes and physical/sexual abuse in relationships. Marizol herself has known each of these struggles and more, and as she addresses them she includes statistics and other reference material, which altogether make this an extremely informative and educational piece on trans issues as well as being a memoir.
My Sister very much is an open letter between two sisters who grew up together but over time, and out of a series of difficult situations, grew apart, fading in and out of each other’s lives. This story that they share is about remembering, about reconnecting, about finally understanding all those words left unsaid, about building the bridge back up again and being able to say to someone, "I see you. I see you for you. I love and accept you and believe that you should be celebrated for who you are and the strength you possess.” It’s also about educating, about opening up a dialogue about queer youth, and specifically about trans women It's about speaking your truth, abut being able to carve out a space for yourself in the world and fighting for your right to exist as your true self. Marizol's story represents the experiences of what it's like to live life not only as a trans woman but as a trans woman of color, a perspective that very much deserves its own space in the LGBTQ+ community. This was an incredible #ownvoices memoir that I think everyone should read.
Told in dual perspectives, two sisters share their stories of one sister’s personal journey to figuring out her identity and fully living her truth as a trans woman. In this raw and unflinchingly honest memoir, Marizol Leyva bears her soul as she takes readers through her life, from an unstable childhood and placed in the foster care system, to being in and out of homelessness and a victim of physical and sexual abuse. Through all of this, Selenis struggles to help her sister as much as she can, knowing all the while that there’s something deeper her sister is fighting, yet living in a time where neither had the vocabulary to understand. They only had each other.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this memoir. I will admit, at first I had my reservations, since this is partly focusing on a cisgendered person’s perspective on having a trans sibling, which can be a problematic narrative in sharing stories about trans people. There have been books like these in the past that have garnered a lot of negative criticism—and for good reason, as these types of stories tend to focus more on the cisgendered person and how their sibling being trans affects them, rather than on the trans person and their experiences. Thankfully, in this case, it’s handled really, really well. Selenis opens the book by describing how she and her sister had an open conversation on how best to narrate this book. While both came to the decision to use Marizol’s birth name (“deadname”) in the first part of the book as a way to tell her story as it happened, leading up to her transition, Selenis also expresses emphatically how harmful and hurtful it is to refer to a trans person by their deadname. You can feel this deep level of respect and communication between Marizol and Selenis throughout the book, and together they set the ideal example of bridging the conversation between cisgendered and trans folks—specifically how cisgendered allies can support trans people by lifting them up without trying to talk over them, by listening attentively, and by stepping back so their voices can be heard.
Marizol not only narrates a deeply personal account of her transition and living openly as a trans woman, but she uses each of her experiences as a way to open the conversation up, to highlight the many, many experiences and adversities that trans people face, from being bullied in school and having a lack of resources and support, to being at higher risks of homelessness, mental illness and suicide/self harm, to being more likely to be the victims of hate crimes and physical/sexual abuse in relationships. Marizol herself has known each of these struggles and more, and as she addresses them she includes statistics and other reference material, which altogether make this an extremely informative and educational piece on trans issues as well as being a memoir.
My Sister very much is an open letter between two sisters who grew up together but over time, and out of a series of difficult situations, grew apart, fading in and out of each other’s lives. This story that they share is about remembering, about reconnecting, about finally understanding all those words left unsaid, about building the bridge back up again and being able to say to someone, "I see you. I see you for you. I love and accept you and believe that you should be celebrated for who you are and the strength you possess.” It’s also about educating, about opening up a dialogue about queer youth, and specifically about trans women It's about speaking your truth, abut being able to carve out a space for yourself in the world and fighting for your right to exist as your true self. Marizol's story represents the experiences of what it's like to live life not only as a trans woman but as a trans woman of color, a perspective that very much deserves its own space in the LGBTQ+ community. This was an incredible #ownvoices memoir that I think everyone should read.
March 28, 2023
Great book with great writing, loved reading both of their perspectives!
September 15, 2025
I can’t even begin to describe how much I loved this book. I was already a big fan of Selenis from her time on Orange is the New Black, but I have now fallen head over heels for her sister, Marizol. These sisters have such a beautiful bond, one that I especially appreciate because it reminds me so much of the relationship I have with my sister. These sisters are not perfect, and they have often found themselves at odds with each other, but they’re there for each other when it counts. The love between them is palpable. How I wish every transphobe out there, or even just those people who still struggle to understand and empathize with trans people, read this book. You can’t hear someone like Marizol tell her story like this, in her own voice and words, and not walk away feeling like you’ve grown for the better. A 5-star read.
March 5, 2021
I came across My Sister: How One Sibling’s Transition Changed Us Both by actress Selenis Leyva and her trans sister Marizol when browsing my library’s website for books by trans people of color, and I ended up listening to it on audio, which is beautifully narrated by the two women. The book is a deeply personal account of Selenis and Marizol’s childhood in their Afro-Latinx immigrant family in the Bronx, and Marizol’s transition, with chapters narrated by each woman and some which weave together their recollections of the same event.
Worth noting, which Selenis explains in the introduction, is that the sisters chose together to have Selenis refer to Marizol using the wrong pronouns and her deadname during the first half of the book before Marizol came out to her family as trans. The decision to use the wrong name and pronouns when talking about a trans person’s past should only ever be made in collaboration with that person and their full approval.
I admittedly haven’t read a lot of books in the ‘my family member is trans’ sort of genre, and I’m not very interested in reading cis people talk about how they understand transness, but I think this book improves on that genre because it centers Marizol’s story as told in her own words, and not just defined by how Selenis perceived it. Still, much of this book feels written for a cisgender audience, specifically someone who may have a trans family member or friend they’re trying to figure out how to be supportive towards. Both Selenis and Marizol’s sections incorporate definitions of what it means to be trans, research and statistics about the ways trans people, especially trans people of color, are more vulnerable to abuse and discrimination, and emphasize the value of family acceptance of trans individuals. These facts and figures sometimes felt out of place with the otherwise very personal narration, but I think they’d be important for a reader who wasn’t already familiar with the topic. Marizol’s sections also often feel directed towards other trans folks, she speaks about her “trans brothers and sisters,” with a message that they’re not alone, and explains rights and language she wished she’d had a better grasp of earlier in her journey. (This phrasing could have been less binary and done a better job of including the nonbinary members of the trans community.)
As a reader who’s neither a trans woman, nor a family member or friend who’s searching for help understanding the trans people in my life, I can’t speak to how effectively this book works for those audiences, but I still appreciated it a lot as an honest memoir focused on family and transition. Both women share their stories with such vulnerability and grace, and I was impressed by their courage to talk openly about struggles, points where they’ve failed, and big things they wish they would have done differently, both personally and in their relationship to each other. Their love for each other is the beautiful heart of this joint memoir, and it suffuses the entire book.
Cw for transphobia/cissexism, racism, drug addiction, eating disorder, predatory teachers, slurs, mentions of rape, intimate partner violence, deadnaming, sexual assault including of a child, suicidal ideation.
Worth noting, which Selenis explains in the introduction, is that the sisters chose together to have Selenis refer to Marizol using the wrong pronouns and her deadname during the first half of the book before Marizol came out to her family as trans. The decision to use the wrong name and pronouns when talking about a trans person’s past should only ever be made in collaboration with that person and their full approval.
I admittedly haven’t read a lot of books in the ‘my family member is trans’ sort of genre, and I’m not very interested in reading cis people talk about how they understand transness, but I think this book improves on that genre because it centers Marizol’s story as told in her own words, and not just defined by how Selenis perceived it. Still, much of this book feels written for a cisgender audience, specifically someone who may have a trans family member or friend they’re trying to figure out how to be supportive towards. Both Selenis and Marizol’s sections incorporate definitions of what it means to be trans, research and statistics about the ways trans people, especially trans people of color, are more vulnerable to abuse and discrimination, and emphasize the value of family acceptance of trans individuals. These facts and figures sometimes felt out of place with the otherwise very personal narration, but I think they’d be important for a reader who wasn’t already familiar with the topic. Marizol’s sections also often feel directed towards other trans folks, she speaks about her “trans brothers and sisters,” with a message that they’re not alone, and explains rights and language she wished she’d had a better grasp of earlier in her journey. (This phrasing could have been less binary and done a better job of including the nonbinary members of the trans community.)
As a reader who’s neither a trans woman, nor a family member or friend who’s searching for help understanding the trans people in my life, I can’t speak to how effectively this book works for those audiences, but I still appreciated it a lot as an honest memoir focused on family and transition. Both women share their stories with such vulnerability and grace, and I was impressed by their courage to talk openly about struggles, points where they’ve failed, and big things they wish they would have done differently, both personally and in their relationship to each other. Their love for each other is the beautiful heart of this joint memoir, and it suffuses the entire book.
Cw for transphobia/cissexism, racism, drug addiction, eating disorder, predatory teachers, slurs, mentions of rape, intimate partner violence, deadnaming, sexual assault including of a child, suicidal ideation.
July 27, 2020
Difficult times, yet triumphant for both sisters
I was drawn to this book because I like reading different life experiences, from a personal and psychological level. As I can't walk a mile in their proverbial high heels, I can read about it, and try to gain more understanding and empathy.
The cover shows two beautiful, strong women supporting each other - the world needs more of this, so much, everywhere. The book starts with when they first met, in childhood, and the paths, twists, and turns their lives took together and separately to take them to now.
Some things are difficult to read, and may be triggering for some readers. There's depression, abuse of a few kinds, and self-medicating with drugs. I fear some people may read this and put links between abuse and transgender "life choices" that aren't truly there. It's clear early on that Marizol felt who she was from a very young age, and while vulnerable that doesn't mean abuse caused it.
The story is written from both perspectives, clearly marked by both headers and a different font so you're clear whose voice you're reading. It's nicely done to show two sides of many situations, even if they don't entirely match up, because our memories are so individual. The love between the sisters and other family members is beautiful to read, even through the difficult times.
An example of the writing:
"That night in the attic, when my sister asked me if I wanted to be a woman, my immediate reaction was to say no. I was scared and confused. I didn't want to be thought of as a freak. And I didn't want my family to be ashamed of me.
At the same time, though, that night was the first time I was given permission to even consider separating my sexuality from my gender identity. And it was exciting."
I was drawn to this book because I like reading different life experiences, from a personal and psychological level. As I can't walk a mile in their proverbial high heels, I can read about it, and try to gain more understanding and empathy.
The cover shows two beautiful, strong women supporting each other - the world needs more of this, so much, everywhere. The book starts with when they first met, in childhood, and the paths, twists, and turns their lives took together and separately to take them to now.
Some things are difficult to read, and may be triggering for some readers. There's depression, abuse of a few kinds, and self-medicating with drugs. I fear some people may read this and put links between abuse and transgender "life choices" that aren't truly there. It's clear early on that Marizol felt who she was from a very young age, and while vulnerable that doesn't mean abuse caused it.
The story is written from both perspectives, clearly marked by both headers and a different font so you're clear whose voice you're reading. It's nicely done to show two sides of many situations, even if they don't entirely match up, because our memories are so individual. The love between the sisters and other family members is beautiful to read, even through the difficult times.
An example of the writing:
"That night in the attic, when my sister asked me if I wanted to be a woman, my immediate reaction was to say no. I was scared and confused. I didn't want to be thought of as a freak. And I didn't want my family to be ashamed of me.
At the same time, though, that night was the first time I was given permission to even consider separating my sexuality from my gender identity. And it was exciting."
January 24, 2021
I make a conscious effort to periodically read books that are written by authors from outside my white male, cis-gender life perspective. And so I chose this book to read because it is written by two authors who would challenge my worldview and force me to look at the world from very different perspectives.
This book is the story of Marizol Leyva, of her childhood as a foster child, raised by the Leyva family, raised as a boy, the gender assigned at birth. It is her story of self-discovery, of coming, eventually, to understand that she identified herself as female, an her decision to transition to life as a trans-woman.
But it is also the story of her older sister Selenis, who, in spite of the struggles of her own life, tried to understand and support Marizol through the struggles, triumphs, and setbacks of her transition. It is a story about family learning to accept that their loved one is different than they expected.
There is a lot of heartbreak in this story. Marizol's life had no shortage of heartbreak, and as readers we get a front row seat to a lot of it, both from Marizol's point of view and from her sister's. And while much of this story is difficult to read, they are important because they highlight the challenges that young trans-gendered people face. Marizol's story is exceptional largely because it isn't an exception. Instead, this story is relatively typical, and it is important for those of use outside this world to understand how had this kind of life can be, and recognize the ways that we contribute to that difficulty.
This book is the story of Marizol Leyva, of her childhood as a foster child, raised by the Leyva family, raised as a boy, the gender assigned at birth. It is her story of self-discovery, of coming, eventually, to understand that she identified herself as female, an her decision to transition to life as a trans-woman.
But it is also the story of her older sister Selenis, who, in spite of the struggles of her own life, tried to understand and support Marizol through the struggles, triumphs, and setbacks of her transition. It is a story about family learning to accept that their loved one is different than they expected.
There is a lot of heartbreak in this story. Marizol's life had no shortage of heartbreak, and as readers we get a front row seat to a lot of it, both from Marizol's point of view and from her sister's. And while much of this story is difficult to read, they are important because they highlight the challenges that young trans-gendered people face. Marizol's story is exceptional largely because it isn't an exception. Instead, this story is relatively typical, and it is important for those of use outside this world to understand how had this kind of life can be, and recognize the ways that we contribute to that difficulty.
June 28, 2020
This book was so inspiring and eye opening. As a cisgender heterosexual white woman, I have zero experience and very little understanding of the challenges faced by members of the LGBTQ+ community throughout their lives. This book was educational in many ways, but rather than just being a collection of facts and statistics it was a very personal, raw story of one trans woman’s experiences and a cis woman’s experiences with her sisters transition.
I feel like this is the perfect book to read if you are like me and have little to no knowledge of what life is like for trans people, but want to do better and be an ally.
Honestly, it’s a great book to read however you identify and no matter how much first hand or second or third hand knowledge you may or may not have. It’s so powerful to have someone share their truth with you and I recommend reading this no matter where you are in your own journey.
In many ways I saw myself in Marizol and related to so much of her pain, self-doubt and fear. Not in the same ways or for the same reasons necessarily (and to clarify I would never compare my own journey with someone who is trans or BIPOC as I know I can never experience certain things as a white cishet), but the way she talks about her experiences and what she wanted as a woman, it spoke to me deeply.
I love Marizol and Selenis and I am so happy they chose to write this book and share their journeys with the world!
I feel like this is the perfect book to read if you are like me and have little to no knowledge of what life is like for trans people, but want to do better and be an ally.
Honestly, it’s a great book to read however you identify and no matter how much first hand or second or third hand knowledge you may or may not have. It’s so powerful to have someone share their truth with you and I recommend reading this no matter where you are in your own journey.
In many ways I saw myself in Marizol and related to so much of her pain, self-doubt and fear. Not in the same ways or for the same reasons necessarily (and to clarify I would never compare my own journey with someone who is trans or BIPOC as I know I can never experience certain things as a white cishet), but the way she talks about her experiences and what she wanted as a woman, it spoke to me deeply.
I love Marizol and Selenis and I am so happy they chose to write this book and share their journeys with the world!
September 24, 2020
Touching, riveting and worth the read.
I knew this would be a gut-wrenching book when I picked it up. I can’t imagine being in Marizol’s position–having your body one way, but feeling another inside. Reading about her transition, the bullying, the fear, confusion…I wanted to hug her. I loved that Selenis and the rest of the family gave her the love and respect she deserved on this journey. The parts concerning her birth parents was particularly hard. I can’t imagine what she went through at the hands of her father.
This book has been described as an open letter between sisters or a dialogue between them. It is. This isn’t all from Selenis’s point of view. Yes, she tells of how she felt as Marizol transitioned, but it’s more about Marizol. Truly.
This book shows how one can accept themselves, how their family can accept them and how it’s okay to be authentic. You have to be yourself.
If you’re interested in reading about Marizol’s journey, then check this book out.
I knew this would be a gut-wrenching book when I picked it up. I can’t imagine being in Marizol’s position–having your body one way, but feeling another inside. Reading about her transition, the bullying, the fear, confusion…I wanted to hug her. I loved that Selenis and the rest of the family gave her the love and respect she deserved on this journey. The parts concerning her birth parents was particularly hard. I can’t imagine what she went through at the hands of her father.
This book has been described as an open letter between sisters or a dialogue between them. It is. This isn’t all from Selenis’s point of view. Yes, she tells of how she felt as Marizol transitioned, but it’s more about Marizol. Truly.
This book shows how one can accept themselves, how their family can accept them and how it’s okay to be authentic. You have to be yourself.
If you’re interested in reading about Marizol’s journey, then check this book out.
February 28, 2020
5/5 WOW. Before i write my review i just want to say how they both look so gorgeous on this cover! This was the first memoir ive ever read because it caught my eye being in the LGBT+ community i wanted to read it especially because i have alot of trans friends. This story was so beautiful im so happy i got sent this ARC from netgalley it touched down on marizols transition and selenis life growing up and these girls have been through alot. I really wanted to also read this because Gloria on orange is the new black is one of my favorite cast members so i had to read this as well for her. This memoir was so vulnerable and i hope alot of trans woman and men read this book even queer people just so they know we arent alone in this at all. And we all go through stuff. Thank you both for sharing this story it was beautiful. @selenisleyvaofficial @iam_marizol ❤️ So proud of you both.
July 9, 2020
This was excellent. Exactly the kinds of voices we need. When Marizol continued to struggle after transitioning, my heart ached for her. I’m so grateful she is telling her story.
I liked hearing Selenis’ POV, to share her own struggles while giving an outside window into Marizol’s life. She gave advice on how to support loved ones, making it clear the best thing we can do is be there and let that person know we will be, no matter what. I appreciated her boldness and insight, to ask Marizol before it had been said out loud if she wanted her life to be different.
Knocked down a star only because it felt a little rough, especially on the back and forth chapters when they would repeat details of the same story on the same page, but that’s an editing critique and not on their voices or stories.
I liked hearing Selenis’ POV, to share her own struggles while giving an outside window into Marizol’s life. She gave advice on how to support loved ones, making it clear the best thing we can do is be there and let that person know we will be, no matter what. I appreciated her boldness and insight, to ask Marizol before it had been said out loud if she wanted her life to be different.
Knocked down a star only because it felt a little rough, especially on the back and forth chapters when they would repeat details of the same story on the same page, but that’s an editing critique and not on their voices or stories.
April 11, 2020
Loved this book and how it celebrates the bond between sisters.
Selenis Leyva was a joy to watch in OITNB and I love that she’s using her platform to spread awareness about the trans community.
Marizol’s story is at times a very difficult read. Her struggle with her identity, the bullying and abuse she faced, are painfully common for queer communities, essentially for trans youth. That she has managed to find herself and is working towards making the lives of her fellow trans people safer and better is brilliant. Despite everything she’s been through, she ends the book on notes of hope.
This book was an excellent read with two genuine and engaging voices who I hope will be successful in changing the world.
Selenis Leyva was a joy to watch in OITNB and I love that she’s using her platform to spread awareness about the trans community.
Marizol’s story is at times a very difficult read. Her struggle with her identity, the bullying and abuse she faced, are painfully common for queer communities, essentially for trans youth. That she has managed to find herself and is working towards making the lives of her fellow trans people safer and better is brilliant. Despite everything she’s been through, she ends the book on notes of hope.
This book was an excellent read with two genuine and engaging voices who I hope will be successful in changing the world.
March 6, 2020
This is one of those books that you did not know you needed to read, but it is so important to be aware of what a person who is transitioning (and closed ones) are going through.
Told in alternate perspectives, Marizol and Selenis share what it was like for them to go through this process and how it affected their lives and family dynamics.
I especially loved how Marizol's family ultimately stood by her, accepted who she is, and gave her the love and support that she needed. Here's hoping that one day all transgender individuals receive the same.
Thank you to NetGalley, publisher and authors for providing a free copy of this book.
Told in alternate perspectives, Marizol and Selenis share what it was like for them to go through this process and how it affected their lives and family dynamics.
I especially loved how Marizol's family ultimately stood by her, accepted who she is, and gave her the love and support that she needed. Here's hoping that one day all transgender individuals receive the same.
Thank you to NetGalley, publisher and authors for providing a free copy of this book.
April 21, 2020
This is an amazing book that was incredibly painful to read. As a Trans non-binary individual I saw myself in Marizol so much, so I felt all her hurt and pain. I applaud her though for sharing her experiences and letting bravery overshadow her fears.
I saw my sister in Selenis so much, and that made me even more emotional. Unconditional love is priceless and I thank Selenis for providing it.
Allies, read this book and learn something!
LGBTQ+, read this to feel reassured and less alone. It'll hurt, but you'll love the journey and your growth.
I saw my sister in Selenis so much, and that made me even more emotional. Unconditional love is priceless and I thank Selenis for providing it.
Allies, read this book and learn something!
LGBTQ+, read this to feel reassured and less alone. It'll hurt, but you'll love the journey and your growth.
May 27, 2020
I personally found the dual perspective of this book stunning, honest and so very reflective of my thoughts, feelings and emotions while navigating the transition of a sibling. Having others put into words their experience is invaluable.
I recommend this book for any non-trans person who wants to learn more, and should learn more. It is a fantastic resource to start/continue learning and understanding.
Thank you.
I recommend this book for any non-trans person who wants to learn more, and should learn more. It is a fantastic resource to start/continue learning and understanding.
Thank you.
March 9, 2024
I picked up this book at my local library because I recognized Selenis Leyva on the cover from her role in OITNB. I wasn’t aware of her sister’s journey, and I was intrigued to learn more.
The writing was not great, and the content was difficult to stomach at times, but Marizol’s story is so important, and I’m glad she told it. The memoir was raw and open, exploring hardships from perspectives that are seldom talked about in media, but should absolutely be discussed more.
The writing was not great, and the content was difficult to stomach at times, but Marizol’s story is so important, and I’m glad she told it. The memoir was raw and open, exploring hardships from perspectives that are seldom talked about in media, but should absolutely be discussed more.
May 3, 2020
The writing is not elegant, but the subject is one about which I don't have enough understanding. While this one transgendered woman is perhaps not typical, I think she represents the immense challenges faced by anyone who feels as if he/she were not born in the right body. It's a learning experience. Love and family can overcome so much.
June 13, 2021
This beautiful memoir is told in two perspectives from two sisters, Selenis Leyva, best known for _Orange is the New Black_, and her sister Marizol Leyva. It details Marizol's struggles as a foster child who is later adopted by the Leyva family along with her struggles as a trans woman. The book was candid, moving, and inspiring.
January 1, 2022
Oh, this shared memoir was beautifully done! It is full of pain and growth, honesty and trials. I appreciate that these sisters, who I had not heard of before reading this (I’m not immersed in either the LGBTQ+ or TV-watching worlds), are willing to make their family journey public. It’s a service, and a journey worth going on with them. Highly recommended.
May 5, 2020
I listen to the audio version of this book which had both authors reading it. I think they did a good job but some of the editing was off. Their voices would fade out and it was not an even flow. Other than that it was a really good book.
June 7, 2020
My Sister uniquely documents the journey of transition from both the perspective of the person transitioning and the family. What I like best about the book though is that it is also written for other transgender youth who may be experiencing something similar and provides education and resources.
July 19, 2020
An interesting topic, with alternate sections from Seleni and her younger sister Marizol (formerly her younger brother) sharing their varying perspectives on Marizol becoming the female she’d always felt herself to be.
This account is raw and real, and could be triggering for some readers.
This account is raw and real, and could be triggering for some readers.
February 22, 2021
I read this book because I don't know enough about the Trans community. I have had a few Trans students, and I wanted to understand what some of them may be going through with friends, family, and all parts of life. Selenis was so humble in sharing her experiences. She admitted times she messed up and how she worked to change things. Marizol shared experiences that made me think about if I had ever unintentionally been unkind to people in the Trans community, and what I can do to be a true ally. I highly recommend this book!
November 27, 2021
I received this in my book group holiday swap, and I really enjoyed it. Selenis Leyva was on "Orange Is the New Black." She and her adopted sister write about their childhoods, how Marizol slowly transitioned, and how their family reacted. It's a sister love story.
November 9, 2023
It is important to take your fame and social capital to tell the stories of marginalized communities. This is exactly what Selenis Leyva did and it is so touching that she took her sister’s story and talked about how Marizol’s Transition helped her grow as a person. Dropping a family member off at a homeless shelter is never easy and I think this book can help other trans youth find solace in the Ali Forney center.
April 27, 2020
Moving story, and I like how the authors used their stories to highlight systemic issues being experienced by trans people of colour.
May 20, 2020
3.5 I hope this book helps those who are struggling and enlightens those who don’t know what it’s like
August 14, 2020
4.5 well written. Gave us a rare glimpse
September 17, 2020
This was an interesting book if you want to learn about transgenders. Not an uplifting book but it was informative- I learned a great deal.
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