There's No Manual: Honest and Gory Wisdom about Having a Baby

by Beth Newell, Jackie Ann Ruiz

The info-packed, truth-telling guide expectant and new mothers have been screaming into their pillows for.

So you're making a person...and no one will stop telling you what to do about it. Your friends, your neighbors, your Uber driver--everyone is giving you unsolicited advice, to which Beth and Jackie say: F*ck advice! There's no "right" way to be pregnant or a new mom, only stretchy pants to be worn and choices to be made.

This illustrated guide asks and answers all the essential questions that pop up from the first trimester to the fourth, such as: Should I have an unmedicated or drugged-out birth? (Up to you!) Will I have time to pee as a new mom? (Maybe!) How do I avoid hating my partner? (That's a little more complicated.) Funny, feminist, and, above all, pro-mom, this book is an actually useful baby shower gift.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Childrens

272 pages, Paperback

First published February 4, 2020

Reviews

[Christina Loeffler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Feminist, socially conscious, funny and honest. Literally everything you could want in a book on the biggest choice of your life. Having a baby for the first time is daunting to say the least. It's overwhelming, scary, exciting and joyful all at the same time. To have a book that speaks honestly to all those experiences is a breath of fresh air. So much of society judges and damns women for their choices before, during and after birth and to find a resource that's not only science (and source) based but that helps you feel normal when things...well...definitely aren't normal is incredible. 15/10 recommend for anyone, but especially for first time mom-to-be's!

[Caroline · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fun, no-bullshit feminist book. It also acknowledges everyone, from women of color to trans men. Though a couple of times they did make out dads to be kinda useless idiots.
As the authors aren't doctors or anything, this book isn't very scientific, which I felt I kinda missed, even though I enjoyed it a lot. There's lots of great illustrations, though maybe a bit weirdly formatted as sometimes you had to turn a couple of pages to read the continuation to some paragraphs.
I do recommend it if the premise interests you, and you don't mind that it's very casual in nature.

[Taylor Kisow · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think this book was pretty good at laying everything out on the table that you’ll go through in pregnancy and as a new mom. However, this book spent a LOT of time just absolutely shitting on your spouse/husband/partner & the “patriarchy”. Which is all well & good except it felt like they were just hypnotizing you to hate your spouse when they could potentially be the best person in the world through all of this. Also, it did tend to make me much more anxious than I anticipated it would about a lot of things with being a new mom. A friendly, encouraging bulleted list would’ve been a lot more helpful and reassuring than some of these chapters. Overall, I enjoyed that it wasn’t 100% positive all of the time, but I believe it could’ve toned down the “bitch-session” just a hair!

[Sam Johnson · Rating 2 out of 5]

In a hamfisted attempt to maintain a funny, bitch-boss, bestie on a podcast voice throughout, this book completely falls flat on giving any actual advice on preparing for pregnancy, childbirth, or living with a new baby. What it does provide is a constant stream of "fuck advice" (but take our advice to do whatever you want and pat yourself on the back for being a woman) and misandry. Every other sentence is about how stupid and useless your male partner is during this time. Honestly it gave me more anxiety about postpartum than reassurance, piling it on over and over about how much everything is on my shoulders as the mom and how no one (other than this squad of boss babe other moms I'm supposed to find) will be helping.

[Syd Rummery · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of my best friends bought this for me and now I understand why - AMAZING. Will buy this for any mom to be in the future fo sho

[Duncan Clark · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very funny "manual" that's both self deprecating and insightful. It's absolutely geared towards women but men will absolutely enjoy it as well and find it helpful during pregnancy and after the birth.

[kerrigan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Realistic, feminist, gender inclusive, funny. This is the REAL girlfriend’s guide to pregnancy. It’s a good book for first time moms - it’s more of a leisurely read than an informative one but it preps you in a way for the overly medical books you’ll eventually have to read. Easily broken up into sections so it doesn’t feel like a chore to read if you’re already feeling exhausted just looking at the large stack of pregnancy books you’ve accumulated. They cover all of your options in each topic without mom-shaming.

[Sarah Buncy · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you read only one pregnancy book, I BEG you to make it this one. 🙏 There is No Manual doesn’t deign to tell you what to do or what not to do. What’s normal or what’s abnormal. How to feel or how not to feel.

This book simply presents you with OPTIONS. It lists POSSIBLE experiences. It is funny and it keeps it real. It lets you know that whatever your pregnancy may be like— it’s perfectly f*cking normal and you are not insane and you are not alone. I really needed this book so thank you thank you thank you!

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was fun and witty and funny. It answered a lot of questions that other baby books haven't. I would have given it 5 stars, but the man hating got to be a little much. My partner has been an integral part of this process and I truly could not have done any of this without him. I feel so sorry for anyone having a baby with a man who anything like what is portrayed in this book.

[Trevor Smith · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book offers a unique and at times humorous look into pregnancy and all the needed information during the whole process. There were many informative parts, many funny parts, and many diagrams that made visual learners like me thankful. However, I have two main issues with the book. First, the whole idea of "f*ck advice" throughout the book is foolish. Yes, you do not want somebody commenting on everything you do with a baby. However, the authors also wrote an entire book of advice. Pot...meet kettle. Second, every. other. page. had some kind of slight or comment about how terrible and stupid men are. Then the authors claim that men absolutely need to read this book because they do not do anything else. I'm getting ready for my child. I'm reading as many books as I can. I'm going to all the appointments. I'm excited, but that is apparently not enough because I happen to be a man, and, forgive me, I did occasionally watch Everybody Loves Raymond. I wanted to stop reading several times. I finished the book, but it was not something I wanted to do. That said, the book does offer good information, it is current, and there are plenty of funny parts.

[Nancy Benedict · Rating 1 out of 5]

Any expecting parents or women planning on having a child, do not read this. I found it very unhelpful and it seemed to be written in more of an opinion standpoint than an informational one. I think this author finds pregnancy as more of a joke. I felt like this author had more to say about how pregnant women were oppressed throughout society, rather than actual information that may help an expecting parent. At times it felt like it was pushing a liberal agenda by saying there weren’t two genders. I personally don’t believe that conversation should be in a book based around pregnancy. The information that was touched on in this book was lacking, it seemed so brief. And I would think that if your preparing to have a child you’d want to know everything you can from a book. I have read other books about pregnancy that have gone way more into depth. I suggest reading the “what to expect” series or any book in the “Mayo Clinic” series MUCH more helpful.

[Darchelle]

I hadn’t been “counting” the pregnancy books I’ve been reading this year but I’m so behind on my goal & damnit, these books are taking up precious reading time. 🤣 Since I read this for information & not for fun, I’m not going to give it a rating. However this book was enjoyable. It’s clearly written by man-hating feminists though. I didn’t agree with everything they said, but there was a lot of humor in it which helps lighten the situation that my body will be wrecked in a matter of weeks. 🙃
The information here is good & it was delivered in a fun way (even with pictures!). If you’re expecting this is a good book to pick up & goes through the process from early pregnancy to early infancy.

[Harisa- EsquiredToRead · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is good, funny, and will make you feel normal when you really are not feeling normal. However, as jokey as it is I don’t like how much they discount dads and are dismissive of men pulling their weight. We have to move beyond the sitcom version of a dad and not be okay with someone who comes home with beer but forgets diapers.

[Valerie Rivers · Rating 5 out of 5]

I bought this book for my third pregnancy. It had been a while and I was struggling with the concept of being pregnant after miscarriage. This book made me laugh and was full of lots of brutally honest information. I loved how nonjudgemental and real it was. As a nurse I appreciated the information in the book as well as all of the gory details. I highly recommend this book!

[Marissa Ruesch · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book not only went through things-you-must-know for pregnancy and post partum, but it did so with light hearted humor, positivity and realness. Some of this stuff isn't something you can put a pink bow on, and that's ok. It helped me remember that even though pregnancy and babies are so hard, that I'm powerful and amazing and there is humor and life in it all.

[Carina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Raw, so truthful, hilarious, and gives so much power to mamas. My first book getting ready to have baby Noah and I’m happy this was my intro. It wasn’t just a guide book. It’s a “let’s have a prep talk about what you can expect while you’re expecting and let’s curse and joke along the way”. Loved it.

[Kelsey Wolfe · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was recommended to me by my brother in law [his is friends with the writer] and it did not disappoint. Although much of the information I already had knowledge of, the authors present it in an amusing and fun way to read. I really enjoyed this and will likely be giving it as a baby shower gift in the future.

[Kelsey Wolfe · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was recommended to me by my brother in law [his is friends with the writer] and it did not disappoint. Although much of the information I already had knowledge of, the authors present it in an amusing and fun way to read. I really enjoyed this and will likely be giving it as a baby shower gift in the future.

[Denise · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is awesome. Staunchly feminist, not preachy, funny and full of swearing but also full of information. I found myself sharing parts with girlfriends as I was reading it and it's the only pregnancy book I'm telling my husband to read. Definitely recommend.

[Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious, informative and empowering. I really enjoyed reading this book for the sassy and badass ways the authors are approaching motherhood. It also covered a lot of practical and realistic aspects of pregnancy and motherhood that you don't usually read about in other books about the topic.

[Booktart · Rating 5 out of 5]

A feminist, socially conscious, funny "manual" about pregnancy and childbirth. Very sex-positive, not gender normative, and even mentions cultural appropriation in terms of the use of a rebozo. Definitely recommended!

[Jeana Spivak · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a great book for telling you how it is with pregnancy. No fluff, only the absolute bullshit your body goes through. It was a breath of fresh air compared to all the scientific books that are out there

[Wordfangirl · Rating 4 out of 5]

The most helpful pregnancy book I've read that didn't increase my anxiety. It didn't make me feel guilty for any choices and had useful tips. I do wish there was less partner shaming in it/presumption of the partner being kind of the worst?

[Cassidy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This pregnancy + baby prep book is hilarious. Lots of diagrams, girlfriend-to-girlfriend tips, and profanity lol. Not scary and actually fun to read. I think Expecting Better was more practical for me, but I may revisit this one and its diagrams later on.

[Chiara · Rating 4 out of 5]

cute.

[Lisa Corkery · Rating 4 out of 5]

Scary! But fun! I appreciated the real life dialogue.

[Paige Mcgreevy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mandatory reading.

[Jillian · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. Very informative, honest, and funny.

[Bre F · Rating 3 out of 5]

Scary

[Chuck Kaplan-Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

A crass, crude, down-to-earth, and deeply funny look into the world of pregnant women. As a man whose wife is expecting a baby, this is exactly what I needed to hear.