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Good 'N' Angry: How to Handle Your Anger Positively
Dr. Les Carter is associated with the Minirth Clinic Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Richardson, Texas. He is specially trained in the treatment of emotional adjustments and relationship problems. He is the author or coauthor of several books, including the bestselling The Anger Workbook.
128 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1983
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July 23, 2024
Although this book was written in 1983, its message seems especially relevant today considering the increased levels of anger permeating our culture associated with today’s poisoned political climate (perhaps this is why so many people refuse to discuss politics or religion with both family, friends and co-workers!). Carter outlines the principal forms anger can take (assertive, which is “good” in that it can be constructive, and aggressive, which is “bad” since it can lead to violence, destroy peoples’ lives, and be used to humiliate, control or coerce, both at home and work); and the characteristics of each type. Biblical examples are given (although the book is intended for a general audience, the author is Christian and the book is published by Baker Books, a Christian publishing company), as well as testimonies drawn from the author’s own counseling experience.
Assertive anger is presented as a form of righteous indignation the purpose of which is to defend someone’s reputation that has been besmirched, protest an injustice, right a wrong, correct an abuse, or intercede on behalf of an innocent or helpless individual. The prominent Biblical example is that of Jesus overthrowing the tables of the moneychangers in the Temple, because this practice profaned it and turned it into a “den of thieves”. An example of aggressive anger occurs in Luke’s gospel when James and John ask Jesus for permission to “command fire to come down from Heaven and consume them, even as Elijah did” as a punishment upon a village of the Samaritans for refusing hospitality to Jesus, presumably because He was a Jew. The admonition: He is come to save mens’ lives, not destroy them, which the two disciples should have realized before making their ill-considered request.
Properly handling anger, then, according to Carter, requires both engagement of the intellect and monitoring and control of emotions. It is a given that aggressive anger is to be avoided; but, when confronted with a potentially anger-causing situation, or when the stirrings of anger are beginning to be felt, every individual must step back, take a deep breath, pause, and consider: is this a case where assertive anger is appropriate at all? If so, should the anger be repressed (simply holding it inside is not a good idea, for the sake of one’s blood pressure, if nothing else)? Should it be expressed in a positive manner that will lead to a likewise positive outcome, benefiting all? Or is it, upon reflection, better to just release the stirrings of anger, let them go, not say or do anything, because the matter is too trivial, transitory, just not all that important, or likely to just go away or solve itself if given the chance?
Every reader can no doubt identify situations in his or her life where the outcome would have been better if things had been handled differently. Anger, as this book shows, is a complex interplay of intellect and feelings which never, from one time to the next, interact in exactly the same way—because every situation is different. The tools provided in this book, if properly understood and applied, will hopefully help readers to a positive outcome whenever anger threatens to rear its head.
***** review by Chuck Graham *****
Assertive anger is presented as a form of righteous indignation the purpose of which is to defend someone’s reputation that has been besmirched, protest an injustice, right a wrong, correct an abuse, or intercede on behalf of an innocent or helpless individual. The prominent Biblical example is that of Jesus overthrowing the tables of the moneychangers in the Temple, because this practice profaned it and turned it into a “den of thieves”. An example of aggressive anger occurs in Luke’s gospel when James and John ask Jesus for permission to “command fire to come down from Heaven and consume them, even as Elijah did” as a punishment upon a village of the Samaritans for refusing hospitality to Jesus, presumably because He was a Jew. The admonition: He is come to save mens’ lives, not destroy them, which the two disciples should have realized before making their ill-considered request.
Properly handling anger, then, according to Carter, requires both engagement of the intellect and monitoring and control of emotions. It is a given that aggressive anger is to be avoided; but, when confronted with a potentially anger-causing situation, or when the stirrings of anger are beginning to be felt, every individual must step back, take a deep breath, pause, and consider: is this a case where assertive anger is appropriate at all? If so, should the anger be repressed (simply holding it inside is not a good idea, for the sake of one’s blood pressure, if nothing else)? Should it be expressed in a positive manner that will lead to a likewise positive outcome, benefiting all? Or is it, upon reflection, better to just release the stirrings of anger, let them go, not say or do anything, because the matter is too trivial, transitory, just not all that important, or likely to just go away or solve itself if given the chance?
Every reader can no doubt identify situations in his or her life where the outcome would have been better if things had been handled differently. Anger, as this book shows, is a complex interplay of intellect and feelings which never, from one time to the next, interact in exactly the same way—because every situation is different. The tools provided in this book, if properly understood and applied, will hopefully help readers to a positive outcome whenever anger threatens to rear its head.
***** review by Chuck Graham *****
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