Murder, Motherhood, and Miraculous Grace: A True Story

by Debra Moerke, Carol Kent (Foreword), Cindy Lambert (Contributor)

When Debra Moerke and her husband decided to become foster parents, they never imagined how their lives would change. Debra became especially close to one little girl: four-year-old Hannah. She loved her and did everything she could to help Hannah learn to trust and teach her to feel safe. But when Hannah went back to her birth mother, Karen, it wasn’t long before one of Debra’s worst fears came true.

Overwhelmed with horror and grief, Debra didn’t think she could take anymore, but then she received a phone call from prison. Karen, facing a life sentence, was pregnant, and she had a shocking question to ask . . .

Murder, Motherhood, and Miraculous Grace is an incredible true story of faith, family, and a journey toward seemingly impossible forgiveness. A story that tests the limits of the human heart, it’s ultimately a life-affirming testament to how unconditional love and relentless obedience can transform even the darkest nights into mornings of hope.

Genres: Nonfiction, True Crime, Memoir, Christian, Biography, Audiobook, Family

326 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 8, 2019

Reviews

[Sharon Orlopp · Rating 5 out of 5]

Truth is stranger than fiction. Murder, Motherhood, and Miraculous Grace: A True Story is a book and a story that will remain with me for a very long time. It is one of the most interesting books I have read in 2023.

Debra Moerke and her husband, Al, are biological parents to five children and foster parents to over 140 children. They were foster parents in Casper, WY for over 16 years. They were asked to be foster parents to five siblings from one family. The siblings ranged in age from a newborn infant to six years old. These children lived with the Moerke's for almost one year before being returned to their biological mother.

The situation turns tragic and fatal when the children live with their biological mother. What happens during the next 16+ years is something that a fictional writer could not even fathom.

I have a wheelbarrow full of inspiration, gratitude, and admiration for Debra Moerke. She is phenomenal and lives true to her values.

Some readers' reviews express concerns about the references to God, Jesus, religion, and prayers. Some have indicated that it feels preachy. There is a strong Christian element to the story. The broader story and context is that love, compassion, understanding, and forgiveness drive out darkness, despair, and tragedy.

Highly, highly recommend!

[Tooter · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars

[Christina DeVane · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 🌟 Wow. This true story is heavy, heartbreaking, and yet so beautiful in many ways. The author went through incredible heartbreak as a foster mom, yet at every turn she surrendered her will to obey God. Because of that God has used her in an incredible way to be a testimony of grace and forgiveness only He can give through the worst circumstances. I was challenged by her big heart and willingness to do the hard. I love how she ends the book with a page of only God. ❤️❤️❤️

Listen free on Hoopla!

[Hannah · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 🌟

This was an amazing, yet heartbreaking, story. While it was hard to read parts, others were so encouraging. Seeing how God used the Moerke family in so many ways was amazing! The lives of over 100 children were touched and Jesus was shown to them because of this family.

Seeing how God worked in her life was also amazing. While she could’ve gotten angry and bitter over certain circumstances in her life, she chose to allow God to use those situations to help others. She allowed God to work in her and through her. I was challenged to have as much forgiveness as she did.

Such an amazing story about forgiveness!

[Abigail Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

This story brought me to tears multiple times. I’m not sure I have ever read a book so compelling, magnified by the fact that it was all true.
It’s easy to say that we should extend grace to others, but how often does that truly happen when someone hurts us in a deeply painful and personal way?
Debra’s story extended grace again and again even when no one else supported her in that.
The healing that took place through Debra’s commitment to grace - to laying down her comfort and putting aside her pain, is awe inspiring.
Many times throughout this story my heart felt overwhelmed by the pain, grief, and the heaviness of reality; but the radical redemption that took place was thought-provoking and beautiful.

[Christy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I almost can’t read stories of injustices involving children since becoming a mom, and this one brought me to tears more than once, but it was a worthy read.
A heartbreaking, beautiful, true story of the sharp contrast in light relating to darkness.

[Kay Bea · Rating 5 out of 5]

The story is heart-wrenching and beautiful. It is truly a story of redemption and growth in the midst of the unspeakable. Beautifully done.

[Karīna Liepiņa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I book, which led me to the tears and 💔, but God is so amazing in His own ways!🙏 A must read book about forgivness, hope, faith and brokenness.

[Holly · Rating 2 out of 5]

While I fully appreciate the message behind telling this story and the complexity of telling such a story I really struggled with this book. The heavy religious context was really off putting and while I understand that it was necessary to the story that the reader understood the writers religious viewpoint it also began to feel repetitive and pushy. I read many adoption and fostering memoirs and feel that the above actually took away something in regard to the magnitude of what was happening because it reads to me at least very preachy. This made it much more difficult to connect with the people involved and I had to keep taking breaks as I found it too heavy of a read. To give a little context I would normally have read a similar book within a day but this took me a week to get through.

[Cricket Z · Rating 2 out of 5]

This story is hard to read. I applaud many of the decisions made by Ms. Moerke.

However, a lot of the theological assumptions in the book I find rough and to be misinterpretations. The concept of surrender that runs through the entire book could be very harmful.

In the end of the book, she says that God told hwr "I break you because I love you." And I cannot get over how abusive that theology is.

[Joan Mcnamara · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was awful. First of all, let me say that I am Christian, non-denominational so I believe in God. However, this book is just about one woman trying to ram religion down your throat. Every page is filled with religious preaching. No thank you. I expected a book based on a story not about Born Again Christians.

[Bethany Martin · Rating 5 out of 5]

A captivating read, a book of tragedy and forgiveness.

[RFI · Rating 5 out of 5]

I will think about this book for a long time. IMO a must read for foster parents or hopeful foster parents, especially those who identify as “Christian”. Themes that played out here to the greatest extreme is what every foster parent will experience to some extent. And it’s important to process and learn.

This is a raw, painful, and complex story. I would never wish to experience what Deb did but I deeply admire how she did and came through on the other side. Karen’s story is just as impactful, I just wish I could hear it from her pov.

Accepting this book for what it is, I think it deserves 5 stars. There are some details and perspectives that I feel were missing (all the children’s, DFS’/social workers’) but I can accept that it’s not Deb’s story to tell. Personally I felt it was too preachy but can also accept that her faith is an integral part of her story.

[Katie Powner]

As a foster parent myself, this incredible true story resonated with me, though it was difficult for me to read.

[Gabrielle Houweling · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 Stars
I cried almost every time I picked up this book. This was a very emotional biography, full of grace and the gospel message

[Trisha Moser · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well I’m wrecked. This memoir ruined me. 💔🤍

[Christina D. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Y'all know that I love a good murder mystery, especially when it's based on a true story. Unfortunately, this is one of the most heartbreaking true stories that I've read.



This is the true story of a foster family and not just any foster family, this was the teach others how to do it foster family. They took all the tough cases and kept larger families together. They knew how to foster kids. This story is about a specific family of several kids that came into their care when their single mother ran into some problems with the law.



There was one little girl from the displaced family, Hannah, found a very special place in their hearts. It became clear during their time together that Hannah was not treated the same as her siblings by her birth mother, Karen. She showed fear and the other children distanced themselves from her. When it came time to return to live with their birth mother, Hannah begged to stay with the Moerke family. The Moerkes did all they could to keep tabs on her and to make sure that she was doing well in the care of her mother. They even offered to let Hannah live with them while her birth mother got settled in her care of her children. You can imagine the Moerke's heartbreak when they discovered that Hannah had been murdered by her mother.



It is this murder that brings the real story to the forefront, it's when Debra Moerke is given the opportunity to extend grace to Hannah's mother. It is that grace that is so mystifying and capturing as a reader. Karen, who only wanted what was best for Hannah, finds herself in a position of extending grace to the woman that stole the life of this young girl. The story goes on to share how the Moerke's were asked to adopt the infant that Karen gave birth to while in prison. And how that grace they extended to Karen grew and changed the lives of both families.



This story is such a great reminder that just because we offer grace, it doesn't mean that everything is going to turn out peaches and cream. It also gives us a very real picture of how grace not only changes the receiver but the giver. It's Debra that we see growing in her conviction of what she's supposed to offer Karen. It's what we see Debra giving up in order to extend that grace.



I really enjoyed this book, it was so very well written and a wonderful reminder that grace is difficult and it's messy and it is so very much worth the effort.





I received a free copy of this book through NetGalley for the purpose of review. I'm never required to give positive feedback but I'm always thankful when I can.

[Jackie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'd give this book 3.5 stars; while gripping, the writing was only okay. As it happened all in my hometown and the news stories were in my memory, it was interesting to read. Debra's faith is tremendous and a focal point of the story; she is good at sharing how God continued to move her and how she continued to listen and respond in faith even when it was hard.

I think some of my students would find this an appealing book to read about the foster system and a terrible murder here in Casper. My only worry is that the victims are not that hard to track down...we are a small community, and though names have been changed, none of us is too far removed...and there's google. I wonder how having their story for the world to see sits with them. Hopefully it is healing.

[Mandi Grasmeyer · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 - A little preachy at times, but wow. What a story! 😭😭😭😭

[Danielle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kept my interest

This was a captivating read with a little too much religion for me. I did enjoy it.
It definitely shows the trials and tribulations of fostering children.

[Tanya · Rating 5 out of 5]

From my blog:

Preface:

I was born in 1974 in Casper Wyoming.  When I began attending school at Oregon Trail Elementary, I had the pleasure of meeting Jason and Beth Helmick.  This brother and sister were some of my best friends.  As I grew over the years, I came to know their mom Debra Moerke.  I first began working as a volunteer with Debra at the Caring Center of Casper WY in the youth group.  It was our desire to help serve this crisis pregnancy center in any way we could.  Debra was a confidant and someone I trusted immensely.  Even after I graduated, I returned to see Debra for counseling purposes and make sure to stay on the path to the straight and narrow.  Al and Debra Moerke are some of the nicest people you will ever meet and are a true example of what serving the Lord in the good and bad looks like. I tell you this to be upfront about my relationship to this family; but even with my relationship this is the kind of book that will bring you to your knees many times as you face your own demons, the idea of forgiveness, and a redemptive God.

Murder, Motherhood, and Miraculous Grace by Debra Moerke is a book that is comprised of 29 chapters split over four parts and is 327 pages long in total.  This is a great book for
those seeking to find their way as parents, or do not understand that it is ok to ask for help. For those interested in obtaining their own copy they can find the book on Amazon and under ISBN 1496433319.

Debra Moerke is currently an associate real estate broker and owner of Stratton Real Estate in Casper Wyoming.  She has served as director of both the Central Wyoming Rescue Mission and Caring Center Crisis Pregnancy Center, a prison chaplain and in security at an Arizona prison.  Debra is married to Al Moerke and is mom to four beautiful daughters, and two sons, and several grandchildren.

Cindy Lambert lives with her husband Dave and they have six children and several grandchildren as well.  They live in Michigan where she continues to write and partner with companies like Ingram, Simon & Schuster, and Zondervan.

Debra's story begins with:  "Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him" James 1.12 (Moerke & Lambert, 2019, p. vi).  This is the perfect opening for a book that shows there are many trials in one's life but through determination we do not allow phone calls, births, deaths, imprisonment, etc. become such a punch to the gut that we cannot get back up.

During the first part of this book you receive an introduction to the Moerke family, to the foster children they learn to love, and to the hints that not all is right with some of their foster children.  You learn about their amazing home, and the amazing faith that each has.  You learn about what it is like to be foster parents and the amazing obstacles that God sees this family through.

In part two of the book you come to learn that this is a story about just as the title suggests…murder.  It is the slaughter of a small, innocent child by her biological mother.  It is the slaying of the innocence that this child’s siblings would experience.  It is the massacre of a program that is supposed to protect innocent children.  And it is the taking from a family who wanted nothing more than to protect and give voice to those small ones who could not:  ‘“They found Hannah’s body. She’s dead. Our sweet little Hannah.” I began to sob. Al wrapped his arms around me. I could feel his body shake, and then I heard his sobs and felt his tears as he held his cheek tight against mine” (Moerke & Lambert, 2019, p. 104).

Part three of this book takes you to the funeral of Hannah, a chance to cry when the Moerke’s biological children scream out in rage at Debra’s decision to support the murderer of their foster sister, the cheering for Debra as Mrs. Wyoming, conversations with a murderer, and the court’s decision on what will happen to Karen.

“IN THE DAYS FOLLOWING THE FUNERAL, a solemn silence hovered over our home. Scenes from the gravesite flickered through my mind. The driveway into the cemetery, the fresh mound of dirt on the grass, the Bower children weeping, the caseworkers isolated on the edge of the crowd—it all circled around in my head as if each picture were on a slow-moving carousel that never stopped. Tears often came when I was alone” (Moerke & Lambert, 2019, p. 132).

Finally, in part four you see unexplained joy as the Lord blesses Al and Debra with a new daughter…the sister of their murdered foster daughter, a new career path, a move, an unplanned pregnancy, and beautiful Mary…

“I watched my young daughter lying in the hospital bed on the same floor of the same hospital where so much had taken place. It was here that baby Ally had been born and I’d picked her up to take her home. It was here I’d first met Karen. It was here I’d sat anxiously in the hallway with the two DFS workers and their police escort, awaiting Courtney’s birth, not knowing if we’d be allowed to adopt her. Now Courtney’s baby would be born. I will soon have brought all three home from the time of their birth and, as with the first two, a new chapter of life will begin to unfold. Dear Lord, make me ready for this new chapter. For much of the evening, I walked the floor of the labor room taking in the wonder of motherhood, my own as well as that of two of my other daughters who had grown up, married, and become mothers. I pondered the lifetime commitment of motherhood, and I prayed God would give me the wisdom to be close enough to be available to my own daughters when needed yet offer enough distance to allow them to be the mothers God had called them to be” (Moerke & Lambert, 2019, pp. 313-314).

The last words I leave you are Debra’s that speak volumes about motherhood and the grace only God can give us and to others:

“Only God could create Mary and place her in loving arms. Only God could have put Hannah, a child who was going to be murdered, into the hands of a family who would truly love her and show her Jesus. Only God could bring forth a forgiveness that goes beyond just saying the words. Only God could lead me to become a lay chaplain in a jail, knowing that I’d be able to hear the murderer’s confession and lead her to Christ. Only God could put me in a Mrs. International pageant at a time when I was broken beyond repair and bring eternal truth and beauty from the event. Only God could blossom in the heart of a woman serving a life sentence and fill her with new purpose and his love. Only God could take down the giants of bitterness and hatred, of broken lives and desperate circumstances, and craft new lives that live for him. Only God could lead me to the depths of sacrificial obedience and repeated surrender. Only God could use a murder and the calling of motherhood to demonstrate his miraculous grace” (Moerke & Lambert, 2019, pp. 317).

References

Moerke, D., & Lambert, C. (2019). Murder, Motherhood, and Miraculous Grace: A True Story. Casper: Tyndale House Publishing.

[Tonya Vondersaar · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is Debra’s memoir where she talks about being a foster parent and becoming really close with a little girl named Hannah that was in her care along with her siblings. Debra saw that Hannah would not be safe going back with her biological mother but the court ordered them to be back with their mom. Debra kept calling in to DCSF and reporting what she thought was happening but they did nothing. Sadly Hannah’s mother Karen killed her and Debra was destroyed by the fact she couldn't do anything to help. Despite this God called her to continue contact with Karen in prison and later Karen asked Debra to take guardianship of her unborn child in the womb. The family sat down together and decided that they would fully adopt Karen's child but they would not take guardianship so that they could ensure the child's safety. Karen eventually agreed that Debra's family could adopt her child and they started working with attorneys in order to start the adoption process. Debra learned that DCSF was going to fight for custody of the baby and go against Karen and Debra's wishes to cover their own behinds after not protecting Hannah. They end up being able to adopt Courtney who is Karen's daughter and they decide to make it Courtney's decision to know what happened with her biological family and when she wants contact with them. When she's old enough and starts asking questions, Debra tells her everything and they start making their rounds to Courtney's other family members. Later in life Courtney gets pregnant at 16 and they decide to help her raise the baby.

[Autumn Nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. Y'all this story will. break. your. heart.

Be prepared.

But you must read it. It breaks your heart and then it puts it back together with God's healing grace.

What a story. What a testimony.

This is such a hard story, and yet it's so beautiful. So so moving.

During the first part of the story, I knew where it was going. My heart beat fast, my stomach felt fluttery, and I couldn't hold back the tears. I kept turning pages. I couldn't put it down. Ohhh, the heartbreak!

And yet the beauty that comes out of it is beyond what you can imagine.

"Only God could use a murder and the calling of motherhood to demonstrate his miraculous grace!"

Only God.

That's the message of this book.

"Only I can take the sorrow and turn it into something beautiful. Only I can fill you with my power of forgiveness."

You won't regret the tears shed while reading this book 💔❤️

Debra, thank you for writing your story, for sharing all the vulnerable pieces. God has worked in your story in incredible ways!

[JessQueen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Murder, Motherhood, and Miraculous Grace
by Debra Moerke

“We like someone because. We love someone although.”
“I meditated all day on that thought. If true love is unconditional, then we must love although. Isn’t although how God loves us? When I can’t seem to find love in my own heart, I need to ask God to give me his heart for the unlovable.”

📚Honest Thoughts 💭📚

I am a Christian woman, a woman of faith and a true believer. I gladly admit that finding this book included in my @audible subscription was pure grace to me.

I’ve learnt so much about forgiveness, surrendering and loving through this book that the only thing I can do it to recommend it to all those who need to read a true story of parenting, jail time, murder and the grace of God acting in your lives.

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️/5 It filled my heart with faith and hope and new meaning for the word forgiveness.

[Erin Laramore · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a beautiful story of surrender to God and His miraculous grace. This is a true story told from the perspective of Deb Moerke, who was a foster parent to 140 children in the 80s and 90s. Her obedience to God when the unthinkable happens makes this story such a touching experience and a wonderful view of how God works things together for the good of those who love Him. I appreciated her candor and her struggles, and loved how she relied upon God. I'd recommend this one to anyone who is wanting to learn better about surrender.

[Lindsey Stiger · Rating 4 out of 5]

I heard a quote somewhere “let someone else’s greatness awaken your own” and that’s how I feel after reading this book. Wow! Debra’s story is wild. Her ministry spans from foster care to prison, adoption to public speaker. I really loved how she interacted and related to The Lord throughout her story. Her word from the Lord at the end was my favorite part. What a faithful and inspiring servant!

[Erica · Rating 5 out of 5]

So good, very raw and personal! Having some siblings that have fostered I somewhat know of the ups and downs of the system, it's definitely a ministry. I appreciate the way she didn't try and sugar coat things. Because we live in a sinful world life is never going to be perfect or have a happily ever after ending until we get to heaven.

[Natalie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found myself crying throughout the book. The stories contained in it are heart-wrenching and it's hard to review books like this where the author is so transparent and real. I did like the book, but the writing was difficult for me at times. But what a story of God's grace and forgiveness! 🙏🏻🩷

[Jane Vannoy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow, this book was heartbreaking, heartwarming, and filled with one woman's faithful obedience in the face of incredible obstacles. This is one of the most powerful stories I have ever read.
Only read if you have a strong stomach; there are terrible crimes described in detail.

[Jessica Dudenhofer Beery · Rating 4 out of 5]

Powerful true story. Hard to read at times, but so is life sometimes. A reminder that no one is out of the reach of God’s grace and forgiveness. 💕